califactsijustmadeup

[califactsijustmadeup]

Lombard Street has also been used for millions of years to test young hunters. If they make it through all eight hairpin turns they're given their first stone hatchet and an invitation to the next sabertooth hunt.

(it's really only used as such because at least a dozen young hunters always insist on taking the challenge at the same time because OoOhHh lOoK aT tHe PrEtTy FlOwErS!!!)

For eons the I5 Union Street exit has been used as a rite of passage. To those who are worthy, it is a gentle curve with a stoplight at the end and the good driver is granted their first spear and allowed to join the elders on the next mastodon hunt. HOWEVER, if the Union St exit deems a driver to be unworthy, it will spit their car into the nearest concrete beam. The driver is then stripped of their honor & exiled from Seattle.

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C'mon man, can ya spare some moisture? Anything helps, god bless

When it comes to founding early civilizations, I can’t recommend fertile river valleys highly enough

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Don't get me STARTED on what a hassle it is driving down the grapevine, getting tangled in a quantum tumbleweed that rolled into the road, and getting stuck in a time loop

I fucking hate seattle man. the liberals have built a living superstructure that towers over the city and covers the sky in rain and fog. I'm fuckin moving to the countryside

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*goes blind into a movie set in a semi rural town with a generic cube shaped industrial building downtown with CHURCH painted on it* Well jeepers I wonder if this is gonna be set in- "My name is Main Character and I live in a small town in california"

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Living in California you will inevitably hear spooky stories about the numerous cryptids rumored to roam the southwestern tip of the United States. Fret not, for there's no such thing as El Chupacabra or Chivo Man or Danzig or Fresno Nightcrawlers or the Lone Pine Devil.

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Toluca Lake is a part of Los Angeles and there's an underground gas fire in Fillmore.

So THAT's why I'm often found shambling through the fog and have a metal pyramid fused to my head!

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The official passtime of rural SoCal children is the time honored tradition of whipping your friends with deergrass while they're not looking.

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Tubi is the best streaming service because it captures the feeling of a video store, but not a corporate video store like Blockbuster, or even a good indie store, but a rundown video rental place under a overpass weeks away from closing down. You'll find, like, 2001: A Space Odyssey next to a unwatchable copy of a 70s exploitation film and a micro-low-budget indie and a movie called STRIPPER VAMPIRE MASSACRE III but you can find no evidence of STRIPPER VAMPIRE MASSACRE one or two existing.

This is a real, commercial streaming service and they've uploaded films with the DVD menu visible for the first few seconds bc it's a recording of a DVD copy. What a titan in the landscape of streaming

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California state symbols:

Bird = quail

Fish = golden trout

Motto = "Eureka!"

Flower = golden poppy

Soft drink = Red Bull

Passtime = resenting Los Angeles for making us all look bad

Secondary passtime = shifting the blame to San Francisco

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We have +1 to our CON stat & resistance to flame damage but we take double frost damage.

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Cali Fact #805:

Apparently my hometown and its neighbor inspired Paleto Bay in GTA 5. And apparently hardcore GTA fans will occasionally drive out there because of random buildings they recognize from the game.

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BLESS

is it a good idea to microwave this. slo mo destruction vids. will it blend. red hot nickel ball. 1000 degree hot knife. hydraulic press. industrial shredder. what's next for us in society

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Cali Fact #17:

Black Star Canyon gets its name from the fact that David Bowie's ghost lives there. It's true! Just made it up myself

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SANTA ROSA, REMEMBER WHAT THEY TOOK FROM YOU

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Northwesterners when it's 71 outside

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Many have pointed out the poor writing of True Detective season 2 and how its characters somehow drive from Ventura to Guerneville in like 20 minutes.

Little do they know about the secret wormhole that only locals know about that allows us to teleport anywhere on the west coast by driving 88 miles per hour along the grapevine while generating 1.21 gigawatts