callmebillie-blog1

[callmebillie-blog1]

Today someone asked my US History teacher if Abraham Lincoln was a president

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Yesterday one of my friends walked past me and said “The paper eating kid is showing off his STD” and instead of saying something normal back because I know for a fact the paper eating kid hasnt been laid, I said, “Which one?” 

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I keep my inbox clean to give the illusion that I have my life in order

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Nobody: 

My best friend, randomly out of no where to nobody: are you from Arby’s? Because you have the meat

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Update: My army was so big that the King made me into Queen. I am now powerful, bow down to me

Right now almost ALL the boys in my class have elected a king. All they do is chant his name and occasionally chase away a challenger with a method called “The wall.” My best friend is the Emo Witch of the Kingdom. I am the outlaw. I have been chased away by “the wall” twice and both times it was equally terrifying

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My science teacher used to have two pet rats. Their names were alice and luna. They both got gigantic tumors so big they couldnt walk, and then they died, the end

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When I was like 6 some kid told me I was gonna go to hell cause I didn’t go to his church, 6 years later I ended up going to middle school with him and now him and my best friend are together. Never before have I had such perfect blackmail

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In fifth grade me and my friends planned on building a bunker and even drew out the layout, I guess it finally gets to come in to use for WWIII

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every time i hear the sound of a bowling pin hitting the ground i want to pass out

[callmebillie-blog1]

Right now almost ALL the boys in my class have elected a king. All they do is chant his name and occasionally chase away a challenger with a method called “The wall.” My best friend is the Emo Witch of the Kingdom. I am the outlaw. I have been chased away by “the wall” twice and both times it was equally terrifying

[callmebillie-blog1]

At lunch today a kid REALLY wanted my jello so Im gonna start a jello store at school

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One time my family went to Texas Roadhouse and my tiny little 10-year-old brother was super cold so he tried to climb inside of my mom’s purse

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Merry New Year 

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The day someone re-blogs one of my posts will be the day that I finally ascend to having someone re-blog my posts

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he deserves it

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Me and my friend had a complete breakdown when we discovered that there was such thing as an electric stapler. How come nobody talks about them???? What the heck guys, why didn’t anyone tell me????

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Not gonna lie this is a really disappointing blog