callmeoops

[callmeoops]

not done any merle text posts for so long

*waves to TWD fandom* i hope everyone is alive and well and loving it still

[callmeoops]

This never EVER fails to make me crack the fuck up. 🤣

[callmeoops]

it seemed a lot of people liked the brother-in-law merle headcanons and a couple of people like the idea of uncle merle, so... let's talk about how you and daryl make merle an uncle :)

─•~❉᯽❉~•──•~❉᯽❉~•──•~❉᯽❉~•─

• you get pregnant not long after the group settles in alexandria

• merle keeps his distance from you while you're pregnant

• your hormones are all over the place, you go from laughing to crying at the drop of a dime, and any time he opens his mouth around you, he's always saying the wrong thing

• daryl has to play mediator so that you don't kill him, even though sometimes daryl considers doing it himself

• like when merle mentioned how big you were getting during your second trimester... *sigh*

• you cried

• daryl snapped

• it was... not a good day

• so he stays away for the most part, asking daryl when he wants to know how you're doing. he occasionally brings you some snacks that he must have stolen from the pantry, but you're always too hungry to care about how he got them

• first time merle actually calls you his sister out loud is after you've given birth and he holds his niece for the first time

• "atta girl, baby sister. you did real good."

• he is BEAMIIIINNGGG

• his eyes are just a little wet because the air is dry, that's all...

• he had wanted a nephew so bad, but the second he sees her, his heart grows three times it's size

• he was convinced that dixons could only make boys, but here he is holding a little dixon girl, daryl's babygirl, and she's the most precious thing he's ever seen

• constant jokes about needing a paternity test

• "i'm just saying, that nose is lookin' more like mine than yours, maybe your girl slipped into the wrong bed one night-" "shut the hell up, merle"

• merle always gives you a little wink to show he's just being an ass and not actually accusing you of such a thing

• which daryl knows. it doesn't annoy him any less, though

• never allowed to babysit EVERRRR. if your daughter isn't with aunt carol or aunt maggie, then she's at the grimes house. merle always has choice words about it

• okay, well... he babysits a couple times. and your daughter was returned back each time covered in dirt. one time merle carries her up to the door with wet pant legs pulled up to her knees and bits of leaves still strewn in her hair

• "oh... you had a fun time with uncle merle, huh?" "damn right she did, mamas. taught 'er how to catch frogs. babydoll, tell yer mama what a frog says!" "bib-bit!" "she's learnin'."

• saying the name merle is too complicated for your daughter's limited articulation, so she just calls him 'unca' while she's learning to talk.

• when your daughter DOES start to articulate...

• "son of a bitch!" "bitch!" "ha! that was good! wait- nah, nah, don't say that- aw, shit..." "shit!" "no!"

• he refuses to own up to it

• "merle! why's my daughter cursin' like a fuckin' sailor?" "well, darleena, sounds to me like she's gettin' it from you!"

• he's the favorite uncle (after aaron - your daughter adores aaron)

• rick's lowkey offended by it and tries to subtly bribe your daughter into saying she likes him more

• "uncle dick!"

• ...

• "... are you kiddin' me?" "don't know where she learned that from. must be a good judge'a character."

little bonus that doesn't have to do with uncle merle: it's really up to you, but i like to think that you and daryl would have agreed to name your daughter beth 🥺 you would have suggested the name, knowing that part of daryl never really healed after her death, and he would freeze. forgets how to breathe for a second as the memories wash over him. and then he would blink really fast as he feels his eyes start to water and he'd give you that soft little nod he does when he's trying not to cry. PLEASE- 😭

[callmeoops]

I realized I never posted my continuation here. I'm not sure if anyone would be interested, but I did (after too long) continue my Light in the Dark series!

Dark in the Light is here :)

I could post every chapter here instead of having you go to AO3, if there is interest in that.

[callmeoops]

Carol: We need a diversion. Y/N, get naked.

Daryl: Nuh uh.

Eugene: I could perhaps be so inclined to denudate as the distractor in order to secure an otherwise unlikely means of escape.

Everyone: NO!!!

Daryl: Don’t know half’a whatcha just said but if it boils down to any’a your clothes coming off, just let them shoot me first.

I promise that I actually love Eugene.

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gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

Rick: No.

Daryl: Yeah.

Carol: No.

Daryl: Yup.

Y/N: No.

Daryl: No.

Rick: How does she do that?

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Y/N: Daryl annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Carol: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Y/N: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

Meanwhile:

Daryl, on his third cigarette in 7 minutes: The fuck’s happenin’ tomorrow?!

Poor baby, lol

[callmeoops]

gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

Carol: Ooh, somebody has a crush.

Daryl: Pfft, ain’t got no damn crush on Y/N. I jus’ think she’s cool. S’not like I stay up at nigh’ thinkin’ ‘bout ‘er.

-Later that night-

Daryl, very much awake: Aw, fuck.

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Y/N: would you love me if I was worm

Daryl: why would i love a worm

. . .

Y/N: (hours later) *sighs loudly*

Rick: what's wrong y/n

Y/N: daryl said he doesn't love me

Daryl: AS A FUCKING WORM

[callmeoops]

Y/N: Fight me!

Daryl, standing behind her and holding a knife: -mouths- Don’t.

Y/N: I can take all of you!

Daryl, now holding two knives: -makes a slicing motion at his neck-

Y/N, watches bad guys run away: Yeah, you’d better run! I guess I showed them!

Daryl, now with no knives: Ya sure did, killer.

[callmeoops]

*the first night in alexandria*

Rosita and Abraham: *heavy breathing*

Y/N and Daryl: *kissing sounds*

Maggie and Glenn: *chuckles and giggling*

Rick: "WHEN DID THIS BECOME A WHORE HOUSE???"

[callmeoops]

y/n, after seeing daryl all dressed up: someone cleans up nice. what's the occasion?

daryl: *snickers* uh, we have a date?

y/n: “we”?

daryl:

daryl: i forgot to ask ya, didn't i?

[callmeoops]

Just some Merle Dixon text posts I threw together from Pinterest and Google ✌️

[callmeoops]

carl: i thought daryl was your boyfriend.

y/n: *looks around the group* who else thought daryl was my boyfriend?

y/n: daryl put your hand down.

[callmeoops]

D.D. | Shane’s Girl

Part One

Summary: Daryl Dixon knows he shouldn’t be thinking about you when he’s alone at night in his tent. Hell, he shouldn’t even be looking at you throughout the day. You’re not his. You’re Shane’s girl. But Daryl doesn’t like the way Shane treats you. And he certainly doesn’t like how you’re forced to play ‘loving girlfriend’ to a man with eyes for another woman at the camp.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Merle Dixon being Merle Dixon, Shane Walsh isn’t great either tbh

Word Count: 1K

Author’s Note: This has been sitting in my google docs just collecting ~metaphorical~ dust. I was going to put all the parts into one very long one shot, but instead, decided against it because I really, really like what I’ve written so far and feel that some feedback can help cure the writer’s block plaguing me. Let me know what you guys think.

Keep reading

[callmeoops]

ok merle