cameback2finishthejob - Tumblr blog

[cameback2finishthejob]

Boo boo, I’m sorry!

I’m sorry i did this to you. I’m sorry i made you feel this way. You have to know this wasn’t my intention… I was still broken , and afraid of you walking away. I’ve never had a normal or equal partnership. I didn’t know how to handle anything and i couldn’t see the big picture that was right in front of my face. God please I’m so sorry. If i could do all of this over i would change all of my decisions. My foundation is rocking and I’m terrified i won’t stay afloat this time. My insides are in knots and i can feel the insanity creeping in. Please don’t leave me in this horrible place alone. Im not sure i can survive it. I’m slowly drowning in this despair and hopelessness. The tears will not stop, every moment of every day this is on my mind. I burst out in a cry that grabs at the pit of my stomach that is constantly doing flips and it yanks it out through my throat.

Boo Boo I’m so sorry i love you. i was so blind and ignorant. Forgive me love me. please forgive me I feel that emptiness. Please please don’t give up on us. If I can go back and take all that pain away from you I would I would do it in a second. This is my apology more heartfelt and deep then I think even you intended more life altering more humbling period for a second you brought me back brought me back from that dark place and pain and hurt and anger and I don’t want to go back just like you don’t want to come back to me, but if I’m stuck here alone I’m never going to make it back out. I remember telling you if it’s love Let It Go it’ll come back I only said that cuz I was positive I loved you not that you knew that but I did. if you can see inside my soul and my spirit you would see how much I love you and how badly I want this how sorry I am. You were never second choice you’ve always been my only choice I took us for granted I took what you showed me for granted I want a chance to give it back. I know I might never get that chance but this is my apology coming from the pits of my soul or what’s left of it. you used to tell me if you could see inside my heart if you could see inside my heart well Vince Vince this is my heart Xposed and open.. I hope you find this apology and you accept it if you don’t come back to me I hope you live a full life one of happiness with love I know my heart will always be full of love for you. again I’m sorry boo I would give anything to take it all back.

[cameback2finishthejob]

how could you not miss me the good times we did have the cuddling the feelings of the connection the laughing it seems as though you hate me. I don't think I ever hated you. Pretty sure I've loved you since day one sorry I screwed that up I'll never forget our connection and how much you mean to me I think that will stick with me forever. I am all sorts of broken our experience has forever altered my being. I am all sorts of broken and l will never Love so strongly again I will never trust that wholeheartedly ever again. I gave you everything real I had and the next one will get nothing compared to what I gave you. I don't know why you're not more torn about this I thought we were on the same page I now see that we were not. I'm not sure how long this will take to recover I'm not sure I'll ever get over you

[cameback2finishthejob]

I do this at least four times a day actually when I wouldn't do to go back there

[cameback2finishthejob]

What now

I'm feeling so lost without you by my side but knowing how you feel I guess I understand why you hide I thought this was I thought you were the one God's plan has yet to come undone. I'll never understand why you wasted our time or felt you had to be the author of so many Petty Lies. When I told you that I loved you forever is what I had in mind but it's clear to me your Forever is left to find. I thought for a second together we could live with tons of hope and love to give. But now I see that was all fake you never meant my heart to take you were never here for long and the way we ended was all wrong.

[cameback2finishthejob]

This is so me... Everytime i think of you being gone i panic...

[cameback2finishthejob]

Great broken hearted and homeless

[cameback2finishthejob]

Coming to the end

I can feel my tears drying up my heart is completely and definitely broken I haven't bothered to try and put it back together I'm going to leave it in pieces so the next one cannot have it. I will build my wall and no one will get through it this time. What a petty little shit you are . You knew my story you knew I was neglected and used pretty much abused until the very end of my marriage. You also knew I gave up everything and walked away with just my kids and I. Why me cuz I was weak cuz my guard was down because I wanted so badly to trust somebody and to be loved easy prey I was. Never again my experience with you will keep me on my toes and keep everyone at arm's length away. I'm a little shocked that somebody's heart could be so cold and ugly. You didn't feel one ounce of sympathy for my past and you didn't care what your future intentions would do to me. I will move on and so will live and I will do better or myself and in my choices. I'll find a better man than you ever intended on being in the lies in the manipulation that you gave to me will convince me that Not only was your love fake but mine was based on lies and harmful intentions therefore nothing we had was real. Right now my heart is crying out for its soulmate back, but once my brain convinces my heart that you are not that soul I have confidence that I can get back to who I was. I will eventually forget you ever existed but I will never forgive you and I will never forget the lesson I picked up here. your heart is cold your love is gone and your spirit is rotten. I'm now convinced that you are a sick hateful petty little prick that thrives off of other people's pain, pain which you create because you enjoy it. I can't believe you're almost had me convinced that I could possibly be the reason for all of our problems I can't believe you convinced me that your cruelty was because of me was because of my actions. when I fully know that true love does not hurt it teaches true love is patient it doesn't give up. you would think as you grow up you act more mature so people want to be around you I feel for you it's the opposite I hope you get help and I hope you learn loyalty.

This coming from the woman you never loved

[cameback2finishthejob]

Mysterious happenstance

That rush of blood when you see an unfinished love. A feeling of companionship and mutual respect because there is love there still. A desire to ignite that spark that was put out prematurely.

Haven’t felt butterflies in a long time

[cameback2finishthejob]

Right now or anytime... What's sad is there is no you!!! 😭

[cameback2finishthejob]

This is all I want to do after a long nerve-wracking day

[cameback2finishthejob]

Don't you hate it when someone throws you away and then acts like I will miss you I wish we can be together when they know damn well you could be?

Yes I guess I would hate that why

Cuz that's what you're doing to us

[cameback2finishthejob]

I wish you would call...i miss you!

I guess it's moving on time...

[cameback2finishthejob]

This is how i feel every night and morning I'm not waking up in your arms.

I’m homesick for arms that don’t want to hold me..

[cameback2finishthejob]

I wish i was in your arms

Mano per mano fa meno paura quest'oscurità.

[cameback2finishthejob]

I used to think you were the one

I used to think you were the perfect man I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to have such a horrible marriage and then to be able to meet and fall in love with you. I have been dragged through the mud and I thought that you are my shining light in a world full of chaos and disappointment. You ended up being more of a disappointment then I could have dreamed. I'm pretty sure you fell in love with the idea of me and not me. When you came back you were expecting that naive moldable trusting woman that you walked out on and that just wasn't me anymore I now see how little you cared for me. I now feel how little and how insignificant I was to you I'd like to think that you'll look back one day and no you screwed up what was true and real. but you seem so delusional and victimized that I don't think you'll ever see the truth I don't believe you'll ever see the light. so while you sit up in that Throne of wonderfulness you put yourself on. You should remember who was there when you weren't the king when you weren't righteous and right about everything when you weren't becoming sober. You forget who loved you when you were incredibly hard to love. I hope someday you'll learn to love someone else I hope someday you learn to care about someone's issues or feelings I hope someday you learn how to put yourself in the backseat to make someone else happy that's a tough one to grasp but when you love somebody their happiness is what matters above your own that's selfless that's unconditional I hope one day you feel that God bless you and goodbye Vince. I'll never forget you

[cameback2finishthejob]

I am always a mess

“reblog if u are currently a mess”

— (via sexual-texts)

[cameback2finishthejob]

Get out of my head! My body tingles at the thought of you. I’m yearning for you. But your gone! How can i stop the screaming in my head!