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i still love u sock opera

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😒

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you know what ive been thinkin about all week?

stan should be able to collect bill's bounty. like, he reactivated the portal, which brought ford to earth AND created the rift, which brought bill to earth, setting him up to capture ford. does that not at least indirectly count as fulfilling bill's bounty?

thinking about a situation where ford's able to convince bill of this and negotiate that stan be given the milky way as his reward, thus keeping at least their galaxy safe from bill

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can anyone explain to me why i feel nervous about reblogging things from people when i get so happy when people reblog things from me. can we just stop that shit

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Was thinking about Stan's habit of grabbing his chest when he's scared and then thought about what if he did end up having a heart attack or something after Ford came back. Like, he's been stressed for ages and now he's gotta worry about Ford potentially getting the kids into something dangerous like he did and where he's gonna go after the kids leave and what he's gonna do without the Shack.

Maybe it hits him in the middle of tour or something. Like, he's been feeling off all day and looks kinda ragged so maybe Soos is keeping close and sees him go down. At first, people think it's part of the tour or some typical Stan gag. And then he doesn't laugh or try to play it up for money. So the twins run down to the basement to get Ford.

He's kinda annoyed that his planning time's been interrupted by Stanley's antics, but the twins seem genuinely upset so he goes to check it out. And finds out Soos and Wendy called an ambulance and there really IS a problem. Then he kinda disconnects from the situation. Like, he's panicking internally but this isn't the first major medical situation he's been in. So he calmly gets the kids (Soos and Wendy included) into Stan's car and follows the ambulance to the hospital. He's the one wrangling the kids while they freak out and asking all the questions to the doctors and nurses about Stan's condition. He can't take time to worry about his brother because he's got a bunch of kids to reassure and they're all looking to him because he's the eldest person there. He's an old man with all the answers in the universe. If anyone can tell them Stan's gonna be okay, it's gonna be Mr. 12 PhDs.

Except... he doesn't.

He doesn't know anything about his brother's medical history past the age of seventeen. Dipper's the one to mention Stan's medication and Mabel knows his diet and Soos and Wendy know about his boxing hobby and work schedule. Ford has a hazy memory about Stan chewing his way out of a trunk once.

He starts thinking about how Stan's the only family he has left. Sure, the twins are there, but they don't really know each other. Shermie and his son are just over the state line in California, but they don't know who he is anymore. Stanley's been wearing his face for years and they never seemed to notice. His parents are dead. Fiddleford is 30 years in the wind.

Stanley's the only one who truly knows him. Knows about his deepest insecurities and childhood dreams. Who knows his favorite books and comic book heroes. About his first disastrous date and the kissing bot. About how badly things had gone for him and been at his doorstep only a couple of days after receiving a single postcard after 10 years of silence.

And Ford knows nothing of the man Stanley became. Stanley doesn't know how Ford has changed. How he's trying SO HARD to fix his mistakes.

And suddenly being so angry over some paltry little machine doesn't seem so important. Ford's the one who built a doomsday device.

He's still angry with Stanley taking his identity, but what does it matter if no one noticed? Sure, Stan got him a criminal record, but he made one of his own in the multiverse. Their family has always leaned to the gray side of the law.

And now they may never get the chance to know each other again. 40 years without each other and the pain of potentially losing Stanley cuts Stanford so deep he feels like he's the one dying.

So he sits in that cold hospital waiting room, four hysterical kids surrounding him, and wears a straight face while his world falls apart around him.

If you lose your parents, they call you an orphan.

If you lose your twin, they don't stop calling you a brother.

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In your merman stan au, how does Ford reunite with Stan for the first time since Stan got kicked out? Is he shocked? Or does he know, deep down somehow, that it was stan all along?

They reunite for the first time in years, and despite everything, Ford’s first instinct is to hug his twin. The working things out, the arguing, the explanations, all of it, will come later.

And the hug IS terrible. Literally like hugging a fish. Ford is lucky he can’t get hypothermia from The Ocean because otherwise he’d be shivering.

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Been struggling to seek out long posts cause college is taking my soul, so I haven't made it through much of your au tag. Please info dump about your au, anything and everything you feel like!

Oh, dude, like NO WORRIEZ at all. I totally remember how college was. Art school just hits differently, y'know? Yaaass!, info dump time! So basically, After Fidds leaves the project like cannon, Ford realizes he can't finish this thing by himself, so he sends Stan his post card. Thinking like "well, at the very least he can help me haul big heavy things." So Stan comes, eager to help, thinking that Ford wants to reconnect and...realizes his brother is nuts. FORD gives him his journal 2 to look over and Stan sees all his crazy cultist ramblings and is like "dude, you need fucking help "but Ford won't listen because Billy Boy's gotten in his head. Sooooo...they both end up getting portaled and Stan spends like 2 months trying to Philosophy Ford into realizing he's been brainwashed (because the natural opposer to religion is philosophy, right? Jk, I just LOVE philosophy. It's so fascinating) but ut doesn't work, so Ford basically cuts off part of Stan's finger (gets fixed later thanks to Stan's long time BFf, FWB Saoirse) to make him let go, and Ford goes home to start the temple of Ciphertology cult in order to reopen the "Gateway to salvation" a.k.a portal. He leaves Stan for dead in multiverse and Stan spends 30 years vowing vengence/death on Ford if he ever gets back. Hopefully that made sense. XD

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I’m the founder of the “I suck at keeping the conversation going, but I really like talking to you” club

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Man, don't you hate it when you ask a cute guy out, and your teeth fall out, and you DON'T wake up?!

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Orange userbox with a speech bubble on the left side, text on the right side reads "I AM YAPPING".

Self-indulgent userbox goes brrrr

The speech bubble is drawn by me!

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♪ Now dance, fucker, dance

Man, he never had a chance

And no one even knew

It was really only you ♬

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some sillies to make up for the sad from yesterday

I forgot the bandaid on his cheek in the last one whoops

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ENA Trend except I’m super late and I don’t care

I saw @leo-artista made one and that inspired me to do so as well ( sorry for the tag, you’re awesome)

Some extras

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STOP the fucking song and back it up to the start we didn't think about the right thing at the right time our head music video is all messed up what the fuck guys come on

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The things that keep us apart

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I saw this and I thought Tumblr might enjoy it

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Is Stan aging the same as when he was human? Or does he have a new spooky merman life expectancy now? I keep thinking about how young 18-20 is for a supernatural rebirth, especially when he doesn’t see Ford for another 4-6 years and Ford doesn’t plan on joining him for a while yet [we'll see how long you last there buddy] Actually on that note: does Ford manage to hold out for the kids to visit during the summer? Do they get to meet their fishy grunkle? Do they have the call from the sea too? They'd love to see his collection for sure Also does Ford ever contact Fiddleford about any of this? Does Fidd get to meet the funny little merman who is totally not going to slap him with a fish this time? Cmon man, just come a little closer he has something to show you it’ll be really cool

ALL EXCELLENT QUESTIONS PREPARE FOR THE YAP FEST

1, Stan's age is weird. Mermaids are, technically fish, and fish kinda keep trucking on until something kills them or their bodies give out. The Vermillion Rockfish, the fish I based Stan's tail off of, can live to be about 22. (Not that Stan's only going to live to 22)

Basically, Stan can live about as long as he wants, if he's in the water. The Ocean sort of.. supports and retains him, so sure he reaches that silver fox sort of thing in his mid forties, but after that he just kinda..looks the same. He's gone a little but not all the way grey by the time the kids arrive, and if he ever told people his actually age they would say he looks good for being near sixty.

Ford, somehow, also looks good for being near sixty when the twins come about. The excuse he gives is less "idk, magic" like Stan and more about the benefits of a good skincare routine (a lie) healthy habits (another lie) and sea air (probably)

In essence, their livespans are probably comfortably resting in the hundred, hundred and twenty range. Not too outrageously long for a couple of Mer-er-definitely human twins

2, I need to answer the Fiddleford part first to make this make sense.

Fiddleford Mcgucket is an absolute dear, and he and Stanford keep in touch after college. They talk on the phone all the time, Ford was the best man at his wedding. After Ford moves up to Oregon, they dont see each other, but they are still close friends. One day, Fidds gets a call from Stanford asking for help on a very secretive, very important project.

The "project" turns out to be Stanley.

Ford has to tentatively introduce his twin brother, Stan, who. Uh. Turned into a mermaid some years ago. And Ford found out and just. Didn't tell Fiddleford. For a while.

Sigh.

The "project" actually is a couple of things. Ford needs help, specifically on land help, to convert his nice seaside house into something a little more...aquatic friendly, and Fiddleford is the best engineer and inventor that Ford knows of.

Ford's house is situated on a small cliffside, against the Oregon coast. Directly below his house is a little seaside inlet, with a small beach that floods with the tide and rocky outcroppings that are secluded enough that that's kind of where Stan has been living, and where Ford has been doing most of his marine anomaly based research out of.

Problem is its hard to GET to.

So, with Fiddlefords expertise, they build an elevator, to a basement of sorts. An enclosed sea lab, with a little opening in the floor for Stan to pop inside if he needs shelter for whatever reason.

It isn't until they've built the elevator that Fiddleford looks Stan up and down and says, "what if we made you a wheelchair? For land?"

And Stan's face lights up.

The wheelchair itself is a mix of magic and science. Ford figured out the magical components necessary to make a "bag of holding" esc impossible space early on in college (blame DD&D) and they use a version of that here.

You guys know Chrion from the Percy Jackson series? A centaur that hides in human shape by having an impossible wheelchair that allows for his horse half to be hidden? Its the same principle.

For the first time in a decade, Stan can traverse land again.

The eletric wheelchair Fiddleford builds is very different than any youd see on the market, not just because its hiding the fact that there's a merman in there, but because its also completely waterproof and rust proof. Its made for Stan to be able to drive it directly on the beach with no problems.

Granted, Stan can't stay on land for long. He is still a merman, and being away from the ocean for long periods of time is very uncomfortable

(He still does it, when the twins are born, he rolls into the hospital with a beanie and gloves to cover the rest of his scaley bits, and gets to hold his niece and nephew.)

So TECHNICALLY speaking Stan can go on land for short periods of time. He has to go "undercover" and by that I mean he is supremely unsubtle about it and the only reason he gets away with it is because its Gravity Falls.

The elevator in Ford's house goes two ways, up to the attic space, and down into the deep, to the secret sea lab with an underwater entrance where Stan spends his nights (no more sleeping out of his car)

ALL OF THIS LEADS TO.

The summer that Dipper and Mabel are sent to visit their twin Grunkles in Oregon.

But something is off about them. They're secretive somehow, and they are going to get to the bottom of it.

(Meanwhile, Stan is having the time of his life because hes fully on board with telling the twins hes a mermaid, its Ford who's trying to keep it hush hush-mainly because neither of them have told shermie, and Shermie would Beat Ford's Ass for not telling him-So Ford inadvertently acts SUPER SUSPICIOUS

Also, to the rest of the family (and to gravity falls) Stan is just a regular old guy who lives with his brother up in that house. People dont KNOW, and Stan likes it that way.

Also, because i have no self control, Mabel only lasts like. 15 minutes before shes too curious and asks Stan how he lost the ability to walk. Stan, like an asshole, waits until Ford takes a bite of dinner before saying "Ah, I lost my legs to The Sea" and Ford chokes on his fish and chips.

Its a miracle it takes most of the summer for the kids to figure out that they're Grunkle is moonlighting as Ariel)