camelotsamelia

[camelotsamelia]

↳ INSTAROYAL: @CAMELOTSAMELIA UPLOADED A NEW PHOTO.

merry ho ho 👅💦

↳ 52 LIKES, 13 COMMENTS.

[camelotsamelia]

@gracieofolympus​

[camelotsamelia]

↳ INSTAROYAL: @camelotsamelia uploaded a new photo.

so sweet she makes your mouth water 👅💦

↳ 42 likes, 11 comments.

[camelotsamelia]

timradcliffe :

I don’t live in a castle, I don’t have swords! I’d be better off learning what to do with a baseball bat, but without trying out for the baseball team. Unless you think Zoe would like it if I played baseball? I might be better at that since I’m tall than I would be at being a knight… I’m kind of clumsy, I don’t want to stab my dog or myself or worse, Zoe.

You could always borrow swords from me, dude, but since you wouldn’t get to keep them baseball bats could do the trick, yeah! They’re not quite as sexy but they do far lessen the chance of accidental stabbing which can’t be that high by the way because I’ve practiced my swordplay while drunk and nothing! Girls do like athletes - Gwen became way hotter for me after I got my tourney jersey, I don’t see why baseball wouldn’t do the same for Zo! Baseball is around the same thing as softball, right? I could definitely help with that.

[camelotsamelia]

agrabahsgwen :

Take a picture, thanks to the cloud it makes them last longer, and then just toss them in a box in an abandoned wing, never to be seen again. YOU ARE BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU IMMUNE FROM SOME GOOD-NATURED RIBBING NOW AND AGAIN. You’re lucky your very hot girlfriend likes you enough to spare a few minutes of time that you could be doing other things with her on your tech woes, just saying. Um… are you going to hate me if I say no, I’m not down? I mean, not because she’s not hot and I’m not open to that discussion if that’s something you really want, but because ew, do you know how many times she’s slept with my brother? I don’t want to overlap hookups! What are the other two? I mean, I have a few guesses but I’d rather get it straight from the source. 

How do clouds help images last longer???? I like the sound of tossing things into a forgotten wing of Camelot though, I'm pretty sure thats our version of spring cleaning around here tbh. MAKE FUN OF ANYTHING ELSE BABE BUT NO ONE CAN CALL ME BORING, THATS THEM RULES! Am I lucky or have I been so good at girlfriending that this sort of thing falls right into our wheelhouse?? Hey, I'd only want to do the do with Bethany if we got wishes out of it but otherwise I feel you - and I could never hate you for not sleeping with someone else, like, as your girlfriend, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to hate you if you did want to sleep with someone else. But that isn't a convo we need to have unless you want to, its pretty low on the priority list for me. Its a hard pick, but ass and lips have gotta top the list or else I'm probably not gaying hard enough.

[camelotsamelia]

auroriascassie :

I suppose I never realized I was worrying so much. I just thought this was normal. I’m glad you don’t have all of the uncertainty, though, or that if you do you cope with it better than I do. The epic poems do sound fascinating, though; I actually think I’d quite like to hear that sometime. Painting is fun for me, though, you’re right. It’s what I do a lot of the time, when everyone else is out having friends and fun. It would be incredible to walk into a castle and see something I created there, but what really counts is that people love the works they hang in their own homes. Zoe’s photography, for instance – that makes people see things, I have no doubt that if she ever starts her gallery with the store Gwen gave her, it’ll be wondrous. You think Flora’s had feelings for Blake? Oh, I never… I never would have noticed that. I mean, I’m quite all right now; Mason’s so sweet to me, and I may not be sure what the future holds for us but he’s very kind. Of course, of course; I won’t pity you, the sword is your defining trait; the things in the backdrop are always a little hazier, harder to define. At least that’s how it feels when I paint backdrops sometimes, like they’re never as clear. Rebound number… two? Who else has Zoe dated to get over David that I don’t know about? I thought I’d finally made a friend who told me things…

It’s easy to cope, all you gotta do is do the things that make you happy until you can’t think about anything else and keep going until you pass out! I don’t know if that metaphor extends to more than alcohol and swords, though, so don’t try to paint until you faint, kay? I have a feeling that would mean breathing in paint fumes and I don’t think you’re the kind to get high, Pristine Princess. Well, you should come chill in the Camelot town squares, then! If you go to my next party, they’re always outside in the morning, singing juuust loud enough to make you wish you were slightly less hungover. I feel like Zoster would let you hang your paintings in the gallery too, then more people would get to see it and buy them and use them to make their shitty stone castles a little warmer, but I know zilch about art so I have no clue if that’s even how it works. You’ll find a way, you’re like the princessiest princess. People aren’t gonna let you flop. I dunno, it’s just a guess - of the three girls that are his back up wives, Flora just always seemed like the one who would actually jump at a chance to take his monkey ass up the aisle, but I could be wrong. Yeah, Mason. He does seem nice, and he’s way cuter than he was even just last year, so there’s that at least. Yeah, it’s exactly like that! When I’m holding a sword, it’s kind of like all I can see - everything else is like watercolor or something until it becomes part of the practice. Oh, psh, I didn’t mean she wasn’t your friend or that I had a secret about her and knew something you didn’t or anything, I just... it’s dumb, but I kinda considered David to be her first rebound, for when she “lost” Gwen. I always thought Zoe had a thing for Gwen but I have no proof yet except for this pit in my stomach, but that could just be more abs coming on. 

[camelotsamelia]

blakeofthejungle :

Fuck that – literally, I’d fuck Will all the time and prove I can’t complete the challenge, that’s so not happening. Glad you’re in a good mood, though, so that I’m not technically failing a challenge. To be fair, I kinda wasn’t talking to Will when it happened, and I was blowing off his bachelor party, but still. Queen Amelia… I mean, at the risk of sounding totally disloyal, I’d bow down to you, just saying. Nope, you’re the first one, thanks for the compliment.

...You know what might be more interesting than daring you to go a month without a hit of Will’s sweet man meat? Betting on which one of us, you and me, could abstain from sex the longest. I don’t know what we’d bet on, but that way at least we’d both be miserable until one of us won! I still can’t believe you missed your boy’s bachelor party, tsk tsk - and you aren’t even going to get to go to his real one because you’ll be the other groom, how sad is that? I hope you know I literally just hissed at the use of my name and the Q word in one sentence, how dare youu.

[camelotsamelia]

blakeofthejungle :

I mean, that also sort of sounds like a Flinstones costume but whatever works, I could rock it. And probably make Will want to rip it off me, too, wanna dare me to? Clearly it just means you need to throw more parties so they have more time to notice, duh. Sure, it’s not like we need to have a super special prom sex night or anything since we already do it all the time, so I’ll make sure Auradon City’s cool and if not we can do it down at Belle’s harbor. Hey! Will might close off Bald Mountain forever if I end up in the hospital again so let’s hope that doesn’t happen. If you ever end up in a cast I’m drawing ‘I heart Camelot and my dad’ all over you, at least I like penises.

No way, it’s no fun daring someone to do something that isn’t a challenge - daring you and your boy to go a month without doing it sounds more up my alley so you’re lucky I’m in a good mood. Yes! Thank Beast, I’m in the same boat with Gwen about not needing to make it a big deal, but what I do need? Is a giant fiesta! If the combined boring safe powers of Willsephone couldn’t keep you out of a cast, I dunno what I, the fun enabler, will be able to pull off but I’ll try - closing off Bald Mountain might lead to me throwing your boyfriend out of office and we wouldn’t want that. WOW has anyone ever told you that you are what you eat, ya big dick? 

[camelotsamelia]

auroriascassie :

I don’t know. Good enough for other people to like it, good enough to make them feel some sort of emotion when they look at it, to leave a lasting impression? I know I can make things that are objectively good, that other people can glance at and say ‘wow, I wish I could paint like that’ but then they move away from the painting and they forget all about it. I want them to remember it, I want them to feel like seeing it changed them – I guess that’s just what being an artist is. Not that I’m even really an artist, I don’t know if it’s my destiny to do this forever and that’s why things didn’t work out with Prince Will, or if it’s just a hobby and won’t ever be more than that. I envy you, you know. Loving the freedom so much, loving all the possibilities. Without knowing what I’m supposed to be doing, I just feel a little lost, I guess. Not being married to a gay king who’s in love with someone else is probably a good thing, though, you’re right, especially when I was silly enough to have real feelings for him when I was just another name on a list for him. You could definitely make the Camelot sigil more your style! I’m guessing no flowers, but what about waterfalls? Trees? The sun? The stars? There are so many things you can add as a backdrop, things that are more uniquely you. Oh wow, so things with you and Gwen are going that well? I suppose now I understand why Zoe seemed so threatened by your relationship. I’m so thrilled for you guys, though! You seem like a great couple. 

Beast, Princess, you worry too much, especially for someone who’s song hasn’t even started. Camelot’s super big on a lot of old-timey dumb traditions, but one of them I actually kind of like is declaiming - people will just go to the town square and sing/scream the epic poems of old knights and good kings in our history, and they never start at the beginning or go through the childhood. They start when they’re, like, fifteen or twenty and have a great journey put in front of them, and that’s when you need to worry and feel and try and do shit! Your destiny will find you eventually so why not have fun until then, right? And if your fun is your art, even better. Practice makes perfect. I can’t get enough of my swords so I dunno if that’s the same thing, but just because I haven’t used them in battle yet doesn’t mean I don’t think I’ll get the chance one day. Same with you and your painty thingy. You don’t have to be jelly. We’re in the same boat. Love is more than silly, it’s stupid, that’s just the way that game goes. Maybe you can bond with Flora, she’s obviously been trying to get Blake’s cone in her soft serve for like aaggessss; I bet she’s feeling dumb now too that they’re Auradon’s cutest couple, but hey, there are other non-rainbow fish in the sea if you, you know, bothered to talk to more people. Ha, well, and don’t feel bad for me for saying this because it’s not like a pity thing, but I’m not really sure what’s “more uniquely me” that I could possibly add. All those things are fine and pretty but they’re not, like, solid Amelia things. I’m not sure I have any solid Amelia things so...maybe a hold off on the tat. Maybe. Gwen and I aren’t going marriage well, don’t be crazy. I just like the tiger thing. It’s hot. Ha! I knew Zoster was threatened! Hopefully that’s died down now that she’s on Rebound #2.

[camelotsamelia]

agrabahsgwen :

Hey, no one  said anything about me owing you trophies, I thought I was giving you plenty of rewards as it is! Babe… You sound like my parents trying to use the internet right now. “Gwen, come show me how to minimize a window; Gwen, how do I get the scanner to work?” I mean – I’m not saying you’re old and boring, but maybe we should give you a quick lesson on that. I don’t know, I’ve never researched it but if you can get permanent color tattoos I don’t see why your permanent tattoos couldn’t be henna colored to give off the illusion? I like hip bones… easy to hide, fun to show off, fun in other ways…

True! And momentary rewards are better than permanent physical ones anyway, those just gather dust on the shelves and make it harder to move out of your dad’s place once you turn 18. YOU CAN’T CALL ME OLD OR BORING, I’M THE MOST EXCITING PERSON IN YOUR LIFE! And I grew up in Camelot! We’re, like, stuck in the Stone Ages there, it’s totally normal that I’m behind on the tech stuff, especially when I have a very hot girlfriend to show me the ropes. I don’t know the “science” of tats but, like, anything’s possible? And even if it isn’t, we could also get Bethany to grant me a magical tattoo wish - would you be down to give her a threeway if that’s what it took? I’d do it for you! Oh, hip bones are the best. Top three body parts for sure, especially on you.

[camelotsamelia]

timradcliff e :

Oh, uh, t hanks for the offer, that’s pretty chill of you and all, but I don’t think I’d be cut out for the knight life. I might break my fingers and not be able to play piano anymore, or walk seven dogs at one time, and that would kind of throw off my groove.

You don’t have to, like, get into it and try for a seat on the Round Table just because you can, but some self defense with a sword could be nice... even if you have zero to defend yourself for! The offer’s always there, Timbo, just know that! And besides, I hear the ladies love a man in armor, it might make Zoe swoon more than any piano playing or dog walking you can pull off.

[camelotsamelia]

blakeofthejungle :

Not yet I’m not! When I am officially I’ll probably have to like, wear a shirt or something, but for now I’m gonna live it up while I still can. Please, anyone kicking Drunk Amelia out of a party doesn’t understand how fun a party is supposed to be, clearly. Dude, Zac and Leo are cool, maybe it’s just mergirls that think they have better ways to have fun. Trays don’t have wheels, that’s just gonna slow us down! You could use one and I could use the other and we could see whose way works better, that’s like a tortoise and hair race kinda thing.

A shirt with a loincloth drawing on it, right? Because that sounds adorable and I’d totally buy one. Drunk Amelia is the party, why don’t people get that yet? Clearly that just means I haven’t thrown enough parties and I’ve gotta throw, like, the after-prom bash of the century; wanna throw that together in your boy-toy’s castle? The bigger the party, the better, probably before we do Blake and Amelia’s Race Down Bald Mountain in case some lame person like you has to end up hospitalized again. If you ever end up in a cast again I’m drawing penises all over it and you won’t be able to stop me.

[camelotsamelia]

auroriascassie :

Maybe that’s exactly why I’m not sure I’d want to get a tattoo. An artist is their own worst critic; Zoe and I have talked about art and how her photographs can move people, and I don’t know if my paintings do that. I always feel like I want to change them and improve them and that’s just not conducive to having one image on my body forever, you know? It’s so permanent and I guess nothing in my life really feels permanent. Beast, this is so silly, I’m sorry for telling you all of this, I guess I just feel like… I thought for so long maybe I’d be queen someday, now that that’s not my future I don’t know what is yet. Of course I could help you! We have swords in the halls in Auroria, I’ve just never used them, of course. What else do you think is important to you that you’d want on you for always?

Nah, it’s not silly. I mean, maybe a little silly, but only because it kind of sounds like you’re saying you don’t think your art will ever be good enough to be permanent, which is ridonc. Dude, it’s art - what does good enough even mean? If it looks interesting and makes you feel cool, that’s all it takes, right? I know a lot of peeps are freaked out by the permanence aspect of tats - I’m freaked out by the permanence aspect of, like, everything else, so I get it - but if you ever find a feeling or a painting you like enough, you’ll know. Or you’ll wake up one day with a craving for them like me, but I don’t really see that happening and that’s cool too. Not having permanence in your life ahead, though? Waaaay better than not having a tattoo - it sounds all cool to have your life set for you but when you think about it, that just means that you never have to make a decision or mess or....it’s just way freeer this way. Probably doesn’t feel like it now, but it’s freeer and freeer is always better. As is not being married to the gayest king to ever gay. Eh, swords are pretty much my bread and butter - or I lowkey kind of like the Camelot sigil but it’s also way old-school. It’d be dope to pretty it up. I like the Agrabah tiger thing, too, but getting that tattooed on is waaaaaaaay too much committment. Dude, I don’t know why I said that, forget it.

[camelotsamelia]

agrabahsgwen :

I’m much more about giving people equal opportunities; it’s selfish to have a monopoly on the best girl around. You did? I hope you bookmarked it, I’d love to see it. Trying a henna first might be cool, to make sure that I like it, but if I did I’d be more than okay with getting something more permanent. Uh huh? And where’s the hottest place you could imagine it being, just out of curiosity?

I’m the best girl around now? I feel honored, but where’s my trophy? The best gets trophies! I don’t actually know how to bookmark things but I screencapped, like, a bunch of it and have them as an album on my phone, which is almost good enough, right? Is it possible to get tatts that look like henna? Because it looks seriously dope, like, good enough to be its own design. The hottest place? I kind of have a thing for tattoos on hipbones, tbh, but that might just be because I have a thing for hip bones.

[camelotsamelia]

timradcliffe :

When do you get to become a legit knight, then? Like, is it when you graduate, or could you apply now and start training after school so that you’re ready when you graduate? I kind of don’t know a lot about how the knight thing works, I’m sorry.

It’s okay, dude, you wouldn’t have a reason to know about the knight thing. It’s biggest in Camelot and Auradon City after all, and besides, you as a knight? I mean, you could rock it, but you’d need like waaay a lot of training. Which I’d be willing to give you, tbh! It’d be a fun bonding thang.

[camelotsamelia]

timradcliffe :

Why wouldn’t you get a sword? If I got something I’d get either piano keys or a dalmatian – not that I’d ever get anything, I’d be kind of weird with a tattoo, right? But obvious is good, it means you’ll like it forever and never wanna get it taken off.

Obvious makes sense for you, Tim-Tim! A dalmatian, piano keys - it works, totally. But a sword....bleh, until I legit become a knight, it feels like I’m jinxing myself, you know?

[camelotsamelia]

agrabahsgwen :

If I get one, I’m going full on tiger. Which I realize doesn’t help you, but hey, do I really have to try to win the title of being your best friend? I’ve already got the whole ‘girlfriend’ thing in my favor, I don’t think it can get any better than that.

You could be booooth, but that would be mighty selfish of you, Gwennifer! I love the idea of tiger for you, though. I saw a tiger henna design that made me think of you the other night when I was flipping through the internet, though - how likely are you to actually get ink? Because that’d be way hot.