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"Stay" I whispered as you shut the door behind you
Rupi Kaur
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If it were up to me
If it were up to me, I would write you everyday and never stop.
If it were up to me, I would let you in every time I want.
If it were up to me, I would let you do everything I have in mind.
If it were up to me, I would go with you all times you want.
But there are rules I need to follow in order to get respect, and there is a thing called dignity that I need so I won't be treated like a whore. So get my message and start right now so I can do it and not be seen as another out of this.
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Tu
Tu mirada me dijo mas de mil palabras. Tus acciones mas de un millon. Las dos decian cosas que yo queria escuchar, consumieron mi mente por horas en las que corrias y bailabas en mi mente. Lo que me decian es que me querias, que me deseabas otra vez y que querias repetir el delito de hace dos o tres semanas atras. Me gritaban que corriera donde ti y sin persarlo decir las primeras palabras que se me vendrian a la mente. Me cantaban que me querias en todo el significado posible de la palabra e interpretacion, que en la parte de atras de tu mente tenias un espacio para mi y solo para mi. Y ellos cantando y gritando duraron lo que duraron. Pero se fueron y quedaron los que no podia escuchar que ahora con claridad entiendo. Y decian todo lo contrario, y decian que me deje de tus palabras y ahora no soy nadie ni nada, solo soy una mas a la coleccion de faciles en tu vida y me dan pena las que descansan junto a mi al igual que me da pena mi ser pero se que en el fondo me busque esas voces y cantares. Y aunque sea, aunque en mi mente eres un ser horrible, desfrute cada segundo, cada minuto, cada palabra y cada accion.
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Feels
Sometimes you dont know how to feel, what you feel. Escape is the only thing that saved you from drowning into your thoughts. Some people escape by doing different things, some get drunk and some get high, some do harm to themeselves and some do harm to others. But me, my escape is music and darkness. There are times you just have to put your headphones on to the highest volume possible and turn the lights off freezing cold and sink into the artists thoughts, not yours because they do so much damage to yourself that if you pay attention to them they will consume you. And thats just it, music. Its better than crying till you cant breathe or doing those other things. Its the only way for some people and the best way for all.
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Sueltame
Entre las entrañas de tu mente,
Nado con tus pensamientos atados a ellos
No veo correctamente esta salida
Y ya no puedo seguir mas.
He cambiado cien veces
Y he fallado mil.
Me he levantado veinte
pero me quede hechada en el piso cincuenta.
No te miento al decir que te quiero,
eres una de las mejores cosas que me ha pasado.
Pero si te miento al decir que no me afectas
Me destruyes y te apoderas de mi.
Asi que sueltame y dejame ir
Sueltame y dejame vivir,
suelta los temores y las angustias
que despues no te van a servir.
Suelta mi corazon que me mata,
Suelta mi mente vacia,
Suelta mi ser todo inquieto,
Suelta mi vida te ruego.
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Even though I loved it.
It was your eyes, those fucking blue and sparkling eyes, that took me in and held on till the last minute. Every kiss, every slip, every hold, every look at me, every smile and laugh, every stay. That look and that lets do ir again. Those thing held me deep down. I never wanted to let go though. I liked that embrace of yours, your arms wrapped around me and your mouth running softly, painting every edge of the plain canvas and leaving it with invisible stains that cant be removed. You grabed me and held me up, I was and am drowning still in that ocean thats holding me still to the thought of what happened. I hate you right now you know. Only because I know now that this is bullshit, all that I said up there is bullshit. That smile wasnt meant for me, and those eyes either. You had me floating under your spell and fooled on top of everything. I still want your lips so bad against mine even though all of this happened, but I guess its over now. Its all over and I refgret it even though I loved it, I regret it.
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