cameron-raab-blog

[cameron-raab-blog]

“I'm quite possibly the straightest man on campus. Trust me I don’t grab men’s asses. Or Women's. It’s really rude you know.”

“Establish how alpha they are? I have no idea either. Hmmm, I am tempted to say yes, but… Are you sure you’re not offering so you can grab his butt?”

[cameron-raab-blog]

“Goofy doesn’t have a dog does he? Like I’m pretty sure he dosn’t have a dog.”

“Why would a puppy have its own dog, are you supposed to be Goofy in this scenario?”

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“How sad does it look? From a scale of kicked puppy to my entire family and my dog just got murdered.”

“Sad mostly.”

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“Oh what no, no I’m fine this is just my resting face. Is it that bad?”

“You look a little down, are you okay?”

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“I have no idea what they’re trying to accomplish but if you want I could do the same to him if you point him out. You know see how he likes it.”

“Sometimes I wonder what men want to accomplish by not-so-casually placing grabbing my behind while I’m waiting for my tea.”

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“His major is English lit. but no I agree he should read the instruction manual.” Cameron laughed running his hand through his hair. “Okay fine but it better be stuffed crust pizza, and you weren't an idiot. I know I don’t look like your typical frat boy.”

“God that sounds…” She paused, an bit her lip. “I’m sorry that sounds like a guy who really needs to get some reading done.” Macey laughed, and put her hands in her back jean pockets. “Okay, well will you let me buy you pizza and beer to make up for being a total idiot?”

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“Hi I'm Cameron, or Cam, or what ever you want to call me.” Cam smiled. “What no no it’s fine. Some of the boys re pretty stupid. Like there;s this one guy, still can’t figure out the dishwasher and he’s been here for what two years.”

Macey’s eyes went wide, put her hands over her face. “Hi, i’m Macey and I put my foot in my mouth constantly..” She paused, and looked at him. “I’m such an ass, sorry..”

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“Well I doubt I’m going too be much help. All of my friends are frat boys seeing as I’m Frat president.” He bit his lip in thought. “Have you tried looking off campus?”

“I really should have put in there, have an intelligent conversation with as well. Because, between pizza and beer you need to talk.” She smiled, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Any better suggestions?”

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“Ask a frat boy. They love pizza. And beer. and fucking. Although some of them have awful personalties.” 

“Why can’t I catch a break, how hard is it to find a guy who wants to sit around and drink beer. And eat pizza…” She paused. “And fuck.”

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“Yes I know that caj but you do it excessively. Almost every night.” Cameron sighed of course Caj was old enough he just didn’t see the effect of the drugs and what ever else he was fucking doing was having on Caj’s personality. He’d changed so much in the past few months from the little brother who had joined the frat as a pledge and it wasn't a good change to boot. 

“Well start from the beginning. What started all this? What’s going on up there?” Cameron asked pointing to his head with his good hand. He didn’t want to tell caj about what he was doing and how dangerous it was. Hell tonight he had gotten a broken arm. BUt if it would make Caj open up about what was going on in his own life then he would let it slip to him. 

“I’m not the only one who gets high and has parties here. Jesus Christ, Cam. I’m not a fucking kid, I can handle myself,” he bristled to himself. He wasn’t sure why he was lashing out at Cam, he could understand the worry. He was worried every time Cam came back with a new bruise. Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his hair, his pulse racing from the outburst and the drugs. “Look…I’m just tired, man. I’ve had a long night.”

He chewed on his bottom lip as he looked down at his lap. Blinking, he looked up at his offer, his eyes narrowed slightly. He could refuse and race to his room but he had a feeling that Cameron wouldn’t let it go. “I don’t know. A lot could be going on, what do you want to know?”

[cameron-raab-blog]

Straight Friend: “I’m open minded”

Me:

[cameron-raab-blog]

“You come home high, parties in the frat house without telling me, the large amount of cocaine I see you with. I just want to know what’s wrong.” Cameron sighed. He sometimes hated how dumbly stubborn Caj was. It reminded him of himself. “It’s just you’re getting pretty reckless and I don’t want to see you get hurt alright? There’s something wrong and you’re not telling me.” 

Cameron looked to his broken arm when Caj mentioned it and briefly remembered his own acts of recklessness that would probably end up getting himself killed. Hell it had gotten another boy killed.  “We’re not here to talk about my arm caj.” Cam then got an idea. “I’ll tell you about it if you tell me what’s going on with you.”

Caj frowned at the sound of his voice, instantly wanting to not have anything to do with this but knowing Cam would find him if he ran away from it. Sighing heavily, he sank into the armchair across from him, looking around at the living room of the frat house instead of at his frat brother. He could count on one hand the amount of times the other boy used that tone with him and most of them was when he was a pledge. As ridiculous as it sounded, it made him feel on high alert, like he was in trouble.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,” he said with another sigh, leaning back into the chair with a shrug. This wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have. First his mother had expressed concern, dropping hints about ‘amazing therapists in Ithaca’ and then Manu. He couldn’t handle another person looking at him like he was fucking up his life. “Is your arm broken?”

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Cameron gunted slightly in pain as he sat up. He pointed to the armchair oppsite him. “Sit down.” He said not answering Caj’s question about what had happened to him. He’d gotten sloppy in one of the fights and he’d paid the price for it. He was frankly very worried about Caj and how he’d been acting the past few months. He did appear stern and a little angry but that was only becasue he was in a lot of pain tahnks to his bruises and headache. Deep down he was very concerned. 

“Caj what the fuck has been going on? You know I’ve been lying there since twelve wondering where the fuck you were? You didn’t answer my texts or my calls. I was worried as fuck.” He said trying to get himself comfortable. “And you come home high at five am. This isn’t like you at all what’s gotten in to you lately?”

Caj rubbed at his blackened eye as he made his way up the entrance of the frat house, being careful not to trigger one of the many lights around the place. He was just starting to come down from a coke-fueled high and he could feel his head pounding, wanting nothing more than to go lay in his bed. It wasn’t his first time sneaking into the house after promising Cam that he’d do something and he always managed to get away with it by coming in when he knew that the other would be sleeping.

The details of the night were hazy to him still. He remembered the drugs, kissing someone he shouldn’t have, a fight. All things that were out of character for him but he couldn’t bring himself to care about. Walking into the house, he froze instantly at the voice, letting out a quiet curse under his breath. “Uh. It’s five,” he said dumbly, glancing up at the couch as he closed the door. Wrinkling his forehead, he looked at him. “What happened to you.”

[cameron-raab-blog]

“I’m a culinary major and I like baking and you sunbathed naked on my balcony so i feel like I owe you cookies or something.”

“Why are you trying to give me cookies in the first place?”

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He’d been sitting wih his arms crossed for a while now. Well one arm was crossed the other was sitting on his chest in a plaster cast broken in two places. It was what now five am and Caj still was nowhere to be found even hough he had promised Cam to be home by eleven to walk Ginger. He heard the door open and put on his frown, which was very painful to do with the amount of bruises on his face.  “And what time do you call this?” Cam asked with his stern no nonsense voice. Normally he would be asleep after a night in fight club. But after coming home from the ER, Cam had just thrown off his clothes in to a pile in the corner and lay down on the sofa with a blanket because going up the stairs sounded like too much of a painful task. 

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“I’ll bake them for later and Ashley can take them over to you.”

I like cake and I like cookies, but– but I don’t think I want any baked goods.

[cameron-raab-blog]

Accept your fate it's too late to try to save face I'm gonna leave your ass in pieces all over the place