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blizzard on their clown shit

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happ

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Sir Elton John has admitted to having sex with a Russian spy on a hotel roof during a trip to the Soviet Union.

The 66-year-old singer believes that the KGB spy was planted in his entourage by the country's secret police at the height of the Cold War to follow his every move.

He says that after discovering that the man was a mole who worked for the Russian security agency, he slept with him to compromise him.

"I went to Russia in 1979 and I knew we were being watched all the time," John told the Observer.

"I had an interpreter that they'd clearly set up. I ended up having sex with him on the hotel roof."

John became the first Western popstar to perform behind the Iron Curtain when he took to the stage in St Petersburg, formerly Leningrad, in 1979.

In 1985, The Rocket man released Nikita, a song about a westerner who falls for a Berlin border guard. The track, which featured George Michael, was a worldwide hit.

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im translating russian memes for practice and i... theyre so fucking funny

me: *flips pillow over to the cold side and goes back to sleep*

nurse who's been watching me in a coma for the past 5 years:

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Mickey Mouse says:

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should i post the walmart comic

or should i simply wait

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someone: oh so you identify as—

me:

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The Lorax

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I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better

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Mistakes were made....

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you should not have to rip yourself into pieces to keep others whole

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*slams reblog*

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So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

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i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.