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“Overthinking does kill your happiness”

— Unknown

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Welp, I found a name for the kind of projection my brother was doing when he started telling people that I bullied him as a child:

DARVO is an acronym for a manipulative tactic used by perpetrators to avoid taking responsibility for harmful behavior:

Deny: The perpetrator denies that they did anything wrong, or claims that whatever happened wasn't that bad

Attack: The perpetrator attacks the credibility of their accusers, making it seem like the accusers are untrustworthy

Reverse Victim and Offender: The perpetrator tries to convince others that they are the “true” victim, and that their accuser is actually the guilty one 

DARVO is a common manipulation strategy of psychological abusers, such as those who perpetrate domestic abuse. It's used to deflect blame and responsibility, and to manipulate partners into submission. 

To counter DARVO, you can:

Recognize what is happening

Refocus the conversation to the victim or survivor and their needs 

Educating the public about DARVO can reduce its power to destroy the victim's credibility. 

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A woman who is complimented feels, spiritually, something familiar to prostitutes.

Yukio Mishima, Forbidden Colors (Trans. Alfred H. Marks)

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“Always show kindness and love to others. Your words might be filling the empty places in someone’s heart.”

— Mandy Hale

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Erika Kosmatka on Instagram

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You hold yourself so well, people would never suspect you're going through hell.

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enjoying our brief existence together

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jisoupy

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