canimumblr

[canimumblr]

Again no one is gonna see this here but I wanna share it anywhere I can so wheeee

Hey so uhhhh St. George's Folly's second album STRAIGHT OUT OF THE SUN is finally available to stream and y'all I know I'm biased because it's my husband's band but it's SO GOOD.

It's got traditionals. It's got originals. It's got humor and sincerity and nostalgia and irreverence. Songs to dance to. Songs to get drunk to. And one particular profanity-laden birthday song you can send to someone you love (or really, REALLY hate) when their special day rolls around.

If Celtic-inspired rock music with folk influences sounds like your jam, or if you just want to do me a solid and help spread the word of something that was made by someone I really love, please check them out! I listen on Spotify but they're on Apple Music, Amazon Music, iTunes, and probably others as well. Just search for St. George's folly's wherever you get your music.

And if you like them please spread the word, reblog this, and give them a follow on Facebook or Instagram. So much love and work went into this album and I'm so proud of my husband and his bandmates, and I really want the world to hear it!

[canimumblr]

I doubt there's anyone left from the mumblr community that still follows me here because I haven't been active here in years but look I'm sharing this everywhere I can and I'm just grateful to anyone who's willing to give them a chance and/or pass their music along.

I know hardly anyone follows me on here and most of the people who do are bots BUT

My husband's band St. George's Folly did a thing and I am REALLY excited about it and just trying to share it everywhere I can.

I like to crack jokes about them being a bunch of bastards and idiots (they are) or that they're what you'd get if you ordered Flogging Molly off of Wish (which is I guess true in a way but also a bit unfair and inaccurate) or that the reason I want them to blow up is so my husband can be rich and famous so I can retire (which to be fair I do want), and it's easy to make jokes because self-deprecation is kind of part of their brand.

But honestly I have so much FAITH in their music. Yes, it's often rowdy and irreverent and that makes it fun. But it's also surprisingly sincere at times. And as much as these folks make fun of themselves, they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't believe in what they are making and know it's worth the effort.

And it IS worth it. This music is GOOD. I'd say that even if I wasn't married to the guitarist. There's so much work and love that went into their upcoming album, Straight Out of the Sun, which will be out November 28, and so much work and love (and also so much bribery of a very cute dog) that went into this music video for the album's first single, and it SHOWS.

And I really want the world to hear what they've made. Please listen to this song and share it if you like it, and go to their web site to check out their stuff and presave the new album if you can. I'm so proud of them. This is so GOOD.

[canimumblr]

So part of this massive depressive episode I’ve been in has been just feeling completely cut off from people. Like people I’ve assumed care about me suddenly don’t now that they don’t see me regularly because social gatherings aren’t happening much. And it’s been MESSING with me.

My dad isn’t one of those people. Like, I know he loves me, he’s my dad. I don’t think he hates me or anything. But we’ve never had a solid relationship. 

We don’t just TALK. We’ll call or text each other if we have a specific question or something, and he’s someone I trust for advice on a lot of adulting things. We always chat for a little bit on birthdays. But just checking in on each other, calling just to shoot the shit? Does not happen. Hasn’t since I was a kid. We’re too similar in some ways and too different in others and they seem to be all the wrong ways for having a decent father/daughter relationship.

But this morning my dad texted me, totally out of the blue. Said he’d had a dream that I was crying and he woke up before he could find out why, but it felt really real and he was worried about me and wanted to make sure I’m okay.

And I am. I’m getting better. I’m not like. Actively suicidal right now (not that my family, or most people in general, knew that I was to begin with, but that’s about where I was a couple weeks ago). I’m okay right now. Not great, but okay.

Here’s the thing: It’s not that I haven’t had people checking in on me the last few weeks. It’s just felt like it wasn’t...the right people? There was my small core group of people, and then a handful of people I’ve never considered myself close to but suddenly learned how much they cared. And that was nice. I was mostly hurt by people I had RECENTLY started to consider myself close to, because there was this realization that it wasn’t reciprocated.

But then there’s that text from my dad. Someone I’ve always wanted to be close to but just never was. For some reason, him checking in on me out of the blue--really without ever having had any way to know that I wasn’t doing okay for a while there, but just wanting to make sure I was okay--was exactly what I needed this morning.

I know talking to people takes a lot of spoons, but I want to try to make more of an effort for my family. My relationships with them are complicated, every single one of them, but maybe some of that is my own fault in some ways.

[canimumblr]

Also I realize I have been mostly absent from tumblr for months. I'm having a real heckin bad mental health time.

Got a therapy appointment soon so hopefully I see some progress.

In the meantime if y'all can help my husband become a millionaire off his podcast I'd appreciate it. ✌️

[canimumblr]

Hey! My husband's podcast just got re-launched and I'd love them to get some more traffic.

It's just weird/amusing stories about history, told by a couple losers who are pretty good storytellers. Check them out, and if you like them share it with your friends!

[canimumblr]

Me: We gotta clean your hands now, bubba.

Olivia: Clean my Olivia hands!

Me: Your Olivia hands? You are Olivia. Your Olivia hands should be the only hands you have.

Olivia: ...

Me: Have you been stealing other people's hands?

Olivia: Yeah!

Me: Oh really? Are you a hand thief?

Olivia: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Me: Om nom nom? Do you eat the hands you steal?

Olivia: YEAH!

Me: You are a weird child, and I appreciate that.

[canimumblr]

Olivia has peed on the potty FOUR TIMES today and not in her diaper once!!! She also woke up with a dry diaper twice this week (though not today).

I think we might be on her last box of diapers!!!

[canimumblr]

On the bright side, Olivia has been CUTE AS HELL today. She must've REALLY missed us. She's randomly said "I love you" to us more times in the last four hours than she usually does in a month and each time it comes with a spontaneous hug.

[canimumblr]

Lol my parents apparently took Olivia to a few different stores and a restaurant this week. None of them wore masks.

I texted my mom asking her to call me when she gets home. I haven't decided if I'm just going to chew her out for being careless, or tell her she can't see Olivia again until there's a vaccine. I'll figure it out as I go along.

I'm so goddamn angry.

[canimumblr]

ALSO my mom told me this morning that Olivia hasn't pooped since WEDNESDAY and mom didn't even give her anything for constipation until this morning

She's always had issues with constipation. Per her pediatrician, if she goes a day without pooping we give her miralax. I tell mom this every time she has Olivia. I'm so mad.

[canimumblr]

At the annual family reunion. I'm obligated to be here because my parents had Olivia this past week and brought her and I had to come to pick her up but I wish I hadn't.

So far I've had to put up with:

-Listening to my brother talking about how when he and his wife buy a house together he gets the whole basement to himself for a man cave, and roll his eyes about how his wife wants to use the basement too but she should just build a she shed because the basement will be his

-Also listen time my brother bitch about how people who insist wearing masks saves lives are so annoying and need to "shut the fuck up"

-Being GREETED by a distant relative I only see once a year with, "Its really time for you to have another one. She [my toddler] isn't a baby anymore." Not asking if I planned to have another one or suggesting I might like to, which would already be none of her business. She TOLD ME that at the age my child is at, it is time for me to have another. This is the first thing she said to me. Fuck off.

-That same relative insisting on hugging everyone and saying, and I quote, "I don't care about COVID among family!" to justify it when someone protested

-My mom grabbing Olivia and pulling her away from me every single time I try to get Olivia's attention

-Being unable to have a conversation because everyone is constantly talking over me

-Somehow getting stuck watching everyone else's kids (one of whom tried to strangle me)

I've been here like an hour and a half. I know if I head out before lunch I will never hear the end of it but I might anyway.

[canimumblr]

Get sad and rage-clean my apartment? Check.

Decide to go through Olivia's clothes for the first time in ages and FINALLY get rid of a bunch of stuff she's out grown? Check!

Accidentally find one of her first pairs of socks and completely break down sobbing uncontrollably because her feet were so tiny and she's so far removed from being that small and as big as she is now in a couple years it'll seem unreal that she's this small now and she's just gonna keep growing and she'll never be tiny again and soon she won't depend on me anymore at all and I just can't handle it and can't seem to stop crying about it? FUCKIN' CHECK

[canimumblr]

Wine and a bubble bath. I'm spending my kid-free week responsibly.

[canimumblr]

I don't think I'll be able to ever have another child because I can't fathom ever being able to afford a bigger place that's still close enough to where I work to be reasonable and that is really depressing.

[canimumblr]

Just some tweets from the life of parenthood today.

She's been a lot today.

[canimumblr]

Yeah it's just gonna be that kind of day isn't it.

It is 6:36am and my child is having a full blown tantrum because she accidentally spilled a few drops of water on her foot. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[canimumblr]

It is 6:36am and my child is having a full blown tantrum because she accidentally spilled a few drops of water on her foot. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻