capella-is-my-diary

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consuming mass amounts of media related to my hyperfixation isnt enough i need to eat it

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ICH SCHREIE

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm at a loss for words. Like. What is this??? Trump wins and now this??? I'm not ready for the next GroKo. I'm not ready for the next elections, not with propaganda being utilised so freely. Fuck, I'm so scared of us not having a chancellor once Trump takes on presidency (or being stuck with a minority government that is). I'm so scared of the right's approach to climate change and I'm so scared for all the minority groups (and women) out there...

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i actually can't phantom how more that half of the us population voted for the "they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats" guy like all he does is babbling misanthropic nonsense... how are there even people who weren't sure who to vote for AND THEN SETTLED ON TRUMP??? i just don't get it

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this is art

et tu, boopte?

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Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

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i think gideon from rubinrot shaped my taste in men more than anything else did (the second and third movie are significantly worse because they cut his hair)

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hehe, saving this for later

if you were to put together a milex starter pack, what would be the top moments you’d include?? love your blog btw! 💗

Hi there anon! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this, there's just a lot going on right now for me so I only really found the time to answer this now! I hope you don't mind and still see this T_T

A starter pack sounds like such a fun idea! I want this to be sort of a bite sized post that allows new people from the fandom to find a little bit of everything they need to know. I think that's a good idea, so I decided with that!

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To get started, I wanted to link this post by @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind who made an AMAZING full blown post proving milex and it's wonderfully detailed and full of interview moments that start from the true beginning. A GREAT read if you need something to get you started!!

Some of my favorite moments that I got from that post are:

— Alex Turner on ‘Hot Press’ (x)

— Miles Kane, Les Inrocks Magazine 2016 (x)

And many many more from that post, it's also a great place to collect gifs since it has a lot, just remember to credit @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind !!

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Another GREAT post to read about their relationship is this post by @paperlovesadness that discusses Miles and Alex's relationship as the definition of Twin Flames. It's INCREDIBLY detailed and has sources for all the interviews mentioned. It's honestly such an interesting study, the definition of twin flames, even outside Milex, so please do give it a read!!

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More great reads for this fandom are song analyses! You can find tons just by searching, but personally I have read all the song analyses of @yellowloid and @paperlovesadness, and I love them A LOT. I also have a few of my own, just check out my #ask !!

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@puppetsspace started a Milex Timeline of events but it only ever made it to 2007, I don't know if anyone else made a bigger timeline but this is still a great blog to check out for the early timelines! My favorite one there has to be this post where Miles sees Alex for the first time and he looks in awe. Very sweet!

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@yummilexhub created a full blown collection of the entire EYTCTE Tour!! A great place to get sources and clips!! please check it out here!

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Now for some more fun stuff, if I had to choose my favorite moments it would be really... difficult. I have A LOT in mind and I honestly can't pick just a few so I'll try limiting it as much as I can.

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1. The Iconic Øyafestivalen 2016 hug

Need I say more? Miles HIMSELF posted this moment, so it's not surprising everyone loves it, including meself.

2. The Iconic Coachella Kiss

This is honestly my favorite for 2 reasons:

[edited] I was unfortunately a slave to the internet but I originally said here that they were really banned but really its just a rumour!! I hears the guy handling coachella really wasn't happy with the whole thing thoigh, still funny lmfao

It was the one of the few moments that were the closest to a kiss, there are a few others but this one is the most popular and most iconic because again of said reason in #1.

3. Sharing Clothes

This ones not really a moment but a collection of moments. I find it EXTREMELY FUNNY that whenever people do those "boyfriend style" things on Alex, you see the regular array of ex girlfriends or current girlfriend, and out of nowhere, it's just Miles HAHAHAHHA. LIKE IT'S FUNNY AS HELL. I find it kinda sweet that Miles is somehow the... consistent out of all of the styles, like no matter the era of Alex there's gonna be a moment where he shares clothes with Miles, compared to the others who obviously only ever share with him in one period. I guess that's the perks of being the best friend?

Some examples:

Striped Shirt

Leather Jacket

Fred Perry Cardigan

4. The Albums being called "their baby"

This one is a little more of a stretch because I've only ever seen it one time. In this interview Alex says "for the past 8 years we've considered...trying for another baby" then they both start laughing hysterically. It's funny and cute :)) If anyone ever sees a different moment where Alex and Miles call the albums their babies, please do let me know!

5. I Want You (She's So Heavy)

These gifs explain themselves I think

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I honestly can't think of more on top of my head right now, if anyone wants to add more please do! I'll definitely add more later but for now, this is my starter pack!

I hope this is a good little collection of stuff for you guys to see a little bit of everything!

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he's so precious

I need to know what Jesse Klaver pics are your background now 🫶🤲

oh god haha this is humiliating and I'm sorry if I delete this eventually but here are my lock screens and background respectively:

Askdjdjflfls

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i needed that, thank you

i know we are all still grieving, but if you maybe want a little distraction, here are my favourite bts moments :)

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"in american football they talk about this stuff during the breaks, we don't need to spend our breaks on that, we can just talk about it when italy has the ball" a german commentator during the switzerland vs italy match

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you know it's bad, when you start thinking about politics while listening to folklore

"i think i've seen this film before" is literally me watching the afd get so many votes... all of this is so scary, around 80% of the people who voted for them don't care at all about voting for nazis?? like what??? we already had that 100 years ago, and it wasn't great at all....

and what baffles me even more is how so many women, immigrants, and queer folks vote for them too (mostly it's white men, but still, how can you vote for a party that is actively trying to take your rights away???) i saw a tweet of someone being like "how can the afd be against queers if alice weidel (a lesbian woman) is so high up in the party" and yeah, it's contradictory BUT if you would've looked them up ONCE instead of getting all your information from tiktok you'd know how bigoted they are (e.g. they want to get rid of same-sex marriage)

anyway, the european elections have been a huge shit-show as expected, but it still could've been worse? i guess? at least that's what i'm telling myself

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no but why am i crying about FUCKING DUTCH POLITICIANS???

(i just finished "the open secret" and i am not okay)

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i have a serious question. why are there at least ten taylor swift songs fitting every fandom, no matter which one???

dead gay wizards? sure! "the great war", "illicit affairs", "cardigan", ...

translators from the 1830s that are against imperialism? of course! "whos afraid of little old me?", "how did it end?", "the lakes", ...

angry fire girl committing war crimes while also being mad at her water not-boyfriend-boyfriend? miss taylor can work with that! "my tears ricochet", "i did something bad", "hoax", ...

so what about a crackship about random dutch politicians? yeah, no worries, half your playlist will be taylor swift! (oh and alternatively you can just listen to reputation, its like its written for them - wtf???)

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Why do I feel like I'm going to obsess about Dutch politics for the next two weeks or so? I mean, I get it, it's because of the Instagram Resse edits, but omg

Also, why is the Rechtsruck (I'm desperately missing a word for political shift to the right in English right now) also affecting the Netherlands? In my mind, they always seemed like this European utopia - I completely blame it on the bikes...

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Appreciation post with every single Taylor Room I've done so far! 💛💜❤️🩵🩷🩶🤎💙🤍

The Taylor Swift Room and the Reputation Room won't be done until we have their Taylor's Version re-release (it would only be fair!).

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another interesting thing about letty's interlude is that, despite seeing herself as equally discriminated as robin and ramy because she is a woman, she does not think about victoire at all, who is both a woman and a person of colour...