captainlvna-blog

[captainlvna-blog]

rckins·:

       “well, unfortunately, i can’t argue with that logic.” he lets out a sigh of defeat, looking over juan who has the hat. “it is a nice hat, though.”

                                                                          -/-

when juan sits, rokin follows, ordering his drink and seeing a rather colorful one arrive in front. he gives a smile and starts to sip. the topic of his family being brought up makes it a bit hard to keep up with this new found upbeat attitude he’s trying to grasp onto. “it was perfect for a while there. i had everything i wanted. i spent so long traveling, life was always on the move. kind of nice just to stop and be there and see life grow and change, maybe even make a life myself.” he sits up, playing with the straw in his drink. “i spent years bed ridden, juan. my teenage years i developed this disease that’s common on my planet. for a long time, moving hurt too much and my family watched me suffer, unable to live, unable to function without their help. then i got another chance, and they encouraged me to live my life. those fifteen years traveling were what i needed to make up for that time i spent thinking about my own death. then your mission happened.” he turns his head, looking at him. “and i got real fucked up, man. coming home wasn’t easy. then i had to say goodbye to them again, walking right back into the very thing which broke me. and we were all unsure if it’d be the last time i’d see them.” there’s a silence, and he sighs. “none of this is your fault, and i know that. i’m just trying to say, you shouldn’t be expecting a holiday card from them this year.”

             juan did not expect the conversation to take this turn.    he wants to feel hurt.    he is,   yes,   he’s hurt--    hearing that he shouldn’t expect a holiday card from a very nice family hurts and he’ll admit that any day.    juan has always envied those families,    which is why it only hurts more to hear that this mission,   his second recruitment of rokin,    inflicted pain on that family. 

     it’s his first time hearing about rokin’s illness.    he had been meaning to ask for some time why it was that rokin traveled--    what was he looking for,    where was he trying to get ?    he understands now,    though.    his eyes only lower because it’s hard to look at rokin and not feel guilty about what he’s telling him.    juan knows trauma.    he knows that you don’t walk away from difficult experiences,    not really.    physically,    yes,    but the encounters stay with you even if you’d rather forget them. 

    rokin is part of his crew,    though.    juan is supposed to expect this.    he’s supposed to expect difficult things and deal with them head-on.    he casts a glance at his own hurt but it’s rokin’s hurt that matters,   the one he wishes he’d be able to help with but knows there’s not much he can do.    after it’s all said and done,   juan brought rokin back into this.

      “   well,   i won’t,   ”     the frown is evident on his lips and his tone is discouraged but there’s an understanding there.     after a long pause,    a long drink,    he speaks again,     “    i’m glad you tell me this.     you know,   it’s not,   uh,   easy to respond to--   but i hear you.    i hear you and i’m sorry.   i am.  ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

These are prisoners. I am… taking them… to imprison them… in prison.

[captainlvna-blog]

alliancenpcs·:

@captainlvna

standing at the cargo dock of the ship with his hands on his hips, tlaloc looks out over the desolate landscape with an expression that maintains a perfect balance between disgust at every moving creature around him and his own self-satisfied pride. as the little rover appears on the horizon, his smile creeps wider. when he called, people came, and that power meant the world to him. 

when the rover stopped at the base of the ship tlaloc waved down at the crew, and offered a welcoming smile, “welcome, we’re glad you got our message. juan, it’s good to see you. i always knew you’d end up somewhere like this. i need to speak to you alone, for just a moment and then i can meet your rag-tag team of misfits.” 

               he didn’t expect to look up and see that face.    a face that he so strongly recalls and yet one he hasn’t seen since he abandoned them.    the same face that he so bitterly spoke to when his mother was ill but still went to work,    the one that he never thought he’d see again.

      “   papá ?  ”    he reels back from the word as soon as it leaves his lips in a weak whisper.    there stands a man who so casually calls him by his name as if he never inflicted all of the pain juan and his mother had to go through in his absence.    when they needed him he was never there,    and now he appears when juan finds he least needs him. 

     he casts a glance at his companions,    letting it dawn on his that this is the infamous man who did all of those experiments on corinna,    the one who has advanced alliance technology so that they can continue to do to people what they did to leti--    it’s his father.    he doesn’t want to lose his composure here,    not in front of his crew,    not in front of a man who doesn’t deserve to have this sort of effect on juan,     but his shoulders inevitably stiffen and his hands curl into fists. 

     he hops off the rover,    unbreaking eye-contact with gustavo.     “ hey asshole,    i have to be honest--    mom and i waited for you for a couple of years,   ”      juan says,    trying to keep his tone as casual as possible.     “   kind of pointless of you to show up now,    you know she passed away a few years ago.    oh,    and so did your granddaughter,    who you never met,    by the way,   ”      he’s bitter and he’s showing it,     but juan has held this in for so many years that it’s impossible to hold it inside any longer.      “   so why don’t you just get you and your ship out of here like you left hybrov ?    promise i’ll do just fine without you,   i have a good record doing so.  ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

corinnv·:

the ship was peacefully silent and dark at the clocks chimed in at 3 am. instead of being tucked into her comfortable bed, cori was laying down on the main deck staring up at the ceiling. her chest moved up and down rapidly with short breaths as she tried to stay off the panic attack that lingered just below the surface. in the quiet space of the ship she heard the sound of light footsteps coming towards her. she didn’t bother to look knowing it was one of the crew members. “my room was getting too small. this is the most wide-open place on the ship.” she said softly, hoping they might understand. after some pause she spoke up again. “i don’t want to see him. i can’t see him.”

@captainlvna

             “    hey,    not here to tell you to leave,   ”      juan replies in a matching low tone,     decidedly not disrupting the quiet cori had been enjoying before he stepped in on her moment.     he senses a certain tension in the room and cori’s words are an affirmation of it.    after a pause,   he steps closer to join her,    lowering his body down until he’s sitting beside her.      “    i hear you,   ”      juan says,    his throat getting heavy.     cori has been through an eventful few days--    he knows that none of it has been easy.    not nearly as easy as she makes it seem.      “   are you scared of how he’ll react to find you here  ?   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

alliancenpcs·:

@captainlvna

“she didn’t used to be so mean. not until we started getting desperate. granted we’ve been desperate for years now. i’m just glad she didn’t shoot ya.” 

             “   you and i both,    pal,    you and i both,   ”     an understanding nod comes from him.     juan knows what it’s like to live desperately,     he knows what it is to starve and he knows that it takes a lot of grace to remain kind while living in such circumstances.    he doesn’t blame them,     he really can’t bring himself to try even though they held kitra captive.     he knows that he would’ve done the same if it were him in that position.      “   but hey,   no hard feelings,   alright ?    believe it or not,    i look up to you guys for persevering.    sometimes you gotta do things that are hard to swallow as a leader,    and she’s doing just that,   ”    juan wants to reach out and pat the man's shoulder like he always does,   but he refrains from it.     “   sounds like you guys know leti,   though ?   ”

[captainlvna-blog]

rckins·:

        rokin knew why he was here, and it wasn’t to help the team. if he did this, if he went along and he made it out alive. then maybe he’d get the ending he’s wanted. since their first mission, since rokin drifted through space and thought about floating through the oblivion of death, he’s been beyond happy with staying at home. now he just wants someone to do it with him.

juan isn’t a bad guy. not even close. rokin still likes him, too. he just… doesn’t get why it’s so fucking important that he’s here. 

doesn’t matter. they’ll get drinks. maybe have too much and they can just laugh and have a good time. so he stands from his seat, and follows juan to where he’s walking. he slides his hands into his pockets, and gives a small semblance of a smirk. “listen, whatever cowboy hat you’ve got, i likely have you beat. i’ve collected many, from the finest craftsmen over the years. unfortunately, i didn’t see much reason to bring one along with me.”

              “   i live in the present,    rokin,    and in the present,    i’m the one wearing a cool cowboy hat,   ”     juan responds,    watching as he comes to his feet.    he turns and begins heading out,    mirroring rokin’s posture and sliding his own hands into his pockets.     “   and you are not,    so maybe take me up on my offer.   ” 

                                                            -

         he settles on a bar stool,    removing his hat and placing it delicately on the countertop.    he waves over the bartender,    ordering a simple alcoholic drink for himself and waiting for rokin to order his before he properly turns to his companion.      “    never got the chance to tell you--   you’ve got a real nice family at home,    real welcoming,   meant to apologize for barging in on them like that.   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

nofugitive·:

juan didn’t realize the magnitude of change which has occurred for kitra. while it was true her physicality had diminished, the impactful metamorphoses was of her self. some would say that her spirit has broken. but truthfully, it was her pride that had been shattered. she wasn’t sure if she was better for it, she certainly felt worse.  

but seeing juan again reignited that feeling she’d been chasing after: like a distant warmth of a fire. for so long she’d acquired that glow from praise and awards, and she thought that if she just finished the mission and got that medal pinned on her chest she’d feel herself again. but here she was, without ordair, but with juan, feeling the warmth stronger than ever before. 

she looks away when he kneels next to her, unsure of what to with her eyes…and hands. “you weren’t complacent. you accepted it. like i should have,” she shook her head, “but  i just - i can’t let things go. you know not  once in my life have i ever failed? every time i said i was going to do something i did it. even if it took me a decade and a half. trying to prove something - to the alliance, to m parents, to myself. and i’m the only one who ever actually gave a damn.” 

“i don’t even think i care about ordair anymore. i just care about keeping my record intact. i can’t have sacrificed my whole life with the alliance for nothing.” 

              he’s strong of the feeling that this is the first time kitra has admitted these thoughts to anyone.    she feels broken down before him,     her defenses utterly deflated from what they were when he first met her.     back then,     she wouldn’t allow him to call her kitra.    hell,     she barely allowed herself to smile at him.     they have come a very long way from there,     but it was all at the cost of a failed mission and her getting captured. 

     still,    juan holds a sense of relief from it all.     for once,     he’s having a conversation with kitra in which he doesn’t feel like she’s lying to them both. 

     “   it won’t be for nothing,    kitra,   ”     juan reassures her,     keeping his gaze steady on her.      “   now that we’re here,    now that you’ve done all of this--    i won’t let it go to waste,    i promise.     we’ll hunt down ordair and we’ll complete the mission,   ”     there’s a thoughtful pause where juan considers if now he should be honest too.    he hasn’t told the crew the entire truth,   assuming that they’d try to stop him if they found out. 

      “    honestly...    i don’t necessarily want the chemical bomb back in the hands of the alliance so that they can continue to terrorize smaller civilizations with it.    i want it destroyed,     and i want to make sure ordair never makes another creation like it again.   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

What’s fascinating about Cassian is that he embodies that type of storytelling element of being an intelligence agent, who often has to make those really hard calls. I mean, that’s what spies do. Spies are on their own, in the field, without support, and occasionally they’ll be pushed into that corner where they have to make those grim choices. 

[captainlvna-blog]

corinnv·:

the plan seemed simple enough but thought through enough that it could work. still there were far too many variables that could wrong. it was enough to make her sick with worry. she had always been terrible at hiding her emotions, they were always painted clear across her face and there was no doubt now that they were there now. still the brunette gave a nod and took a seat in the wheelchair. “this doesn’t feel totally….” she paused trying to think of the right word for it. “real, i guess. i never thought i’d be doing something like this.” cori told him quietly. “i mean the alliance they took me in…” they took her in but everything that happened after that. everything she would try to forget. “what if i’m doing the wrong thing?”

               he knows he needs to find the right way to handle this. the alliance indeed took her in,     although he doesn’t know all of the details.     he doesn’t think that she knows all of the details,    either.     he does know a good number of people who the alliance took in,    but it wasn’t because an officer felt a pang of empathy or compassion--     it was because they saw something useful in an individual,    something they could potentially weaponize.       “   you’re following your gut feeling,   ”      juan says,     lowering down to speak closer to her ear as he begins to push her towards the door.      “    in my experience,     following my gut feeling has always meant i’m doing the right thing...    trust me,    and keep trusting that feeling.   ” 

     he leans up,    taking a breath before they exit the room.    he keeps his expression neutral,    makes himself look busy--    like he has somewhere to be.    the elevator is down the hall and on the other side of the room,    however,    it feels like an eternity passes by until they’re finally standing beside it,    juan pressing the button to go down. 

[captainlvna-blog]

nofugitive‌:

she leaned her head back against the wall, her tangled long black hair falling back away from her face. each movement caused a twinge of pain in he ribcage but her begrudging, tight-lipped smile maintained. she wondered if her wounds would ever fully heal, after years of making it worse before it could get better she doubted she could ever return to normal. “well, when the time comes for you to be my damsel i’ll be there.”

she laughs softly, the chuckle playing over her lips, as she winces with every rise of her shoulders. but it’s worth the pain, “i am a badass,” she agreed, “i used to think i was a badass because i could do anything on my own. now i think it’s better to call for help. if i’d contacted you sooner …”

she closes her eyes again, half falling asleep, as she murmurs, “i thought i missed the feeling of hunting down ordair. but i just missed the feeling of being on a team. this team.” 

              “   hm,   ”      a small,    breathy laugh leaves him.      “   i’ll be sure to call out for you,   ”     he responds,    tilting his head as he looks at her.    she’s different,    but that’s obvious.     her hair has grown well past her shoulders and she’s thinner from malnutrition.     it hurts to see the state she’s in--    hurts to know how long it’s been like this.     pax has already been doing what he can for kitra,    but juan wishes there was more he could do.    he owes it to her. 

          he’s surprised to hear those words,   so much so that he can’t help but move closer to listen,    getting up from his chair but quickly coming down on his knees to be beside her bed.      “   you contacted me right on time,   ”     juan responds,    resting back on his calves.     “   when i saw that message from you,    when i found out that you were still looking for ordair,    i--    it was like a kick in the guts.    i got complacent about the mission failing,    i should’ve been with you.   ” 

          “  you’ve brought us back,   ”     he says quietly,    pressing his lips together.   there’s a resolution in his eyes.     “   and we’re gonna get it right this time.   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

 sparrow-zero-three·:

@captainlvna

Zero-Eight, of all of Them, likes the Captain the most.

They’re not sure why that is. When they’d watched Zero-Three’s archives, all of Them had had different opinions on the various members of the crew. Zero-One is fond of Kitra, Zero-Two likes Leti best. Zero-Six and Zero-Seven, so frequently of a similar mind, think Cori is outstanding.

Zero-Ten had never participated in any of the messages, unlike the rest of Them, who have all picked their favorites, so to speak.

So it’s Zero-Eight that thinks Juan is just dandy. Something about the music had spoken to them; it had been Zero-Eight who had funneled reassuring music into the Captain’s earpiece during the trade, feeling so very bad for him and the way everybody seemed to dismiss him. As far as Zero-Eight is convinced, Juan is a genius. Only a genius would have musical taste that excellent.

They ambush the Captain when Juan is about the set foot outside the ship. “Hello!” they greet, making sure the 08 indicator in Their eye is visible. It’s only polite to let the humans know who they are speaking to. “We would like to know if you had any more music recommendations. We realize you probably require an explanation for who We are, and what happened to this body, but We– I, Zero-Eight, have fallen very much in love with groovy music, and I’d like more, please!”

                to say that he was shocked to see zero-three up and walking about right after they made the deal with the redbloods was an understatement.     he did get a little confused about the voice he heard coming from him,     and about the words he spoke,     but overall he was very,    just very happy to have the android back again. 

           he’s been meaning to speak to him,    but before he can do much more on roame he needs to shop for some local clothes and restock on what they can.     they certainly don’t have enough food or medical supplies after trading them in,     and he hopes that they’ll be able to restock at least 70% of what they lost.     god knows they’ll need them where they’re going. 

          he startles a bit when zero-three appears before him just as he’s about to open the door,     taking a step back from the other.      he makes note of the eight displaying on his eye,     furrowing his brows a bit but nonetheless releasing any tension from his body.      “   hey, zero--   ”      he’s about to speak,    but his train of thought is quickly cut off.     okay,    so he’s had a lingering suspicion about this,     but he sort of clung on to the hope that zero-three is still alive.   “  zero-eight ?   ”     he recovers, although confused. 

       “  oh,  oh--    say no more,    my friend,   ”     he shakes his head,     reaching out and placing his hand on this zero-eight’s shoulder.       “  sounds like you’re hooked--    hooked on a feeling,   ”      juan says,    dropping the hand and beginning to sway even before there’s any music,     “   try it right now,    hooked on a feeling by blue swede !   ”  

[captainlvna-blog]

rckins·:

       who knows what actually transpired outside that ship. rokin was much too busy tinkering to really bother. thankfully, the team’s not forcing him out when they know he doesn’t belong. what’s he to do there, anyways? they come back finally, now with kitra, and he’s thankful that it was successful in that regard. he still stays out of their hair. he wants no part, knows there’s little he can provide. after a while, juan stands in front of him, rokin still hunched over his work space. it’s tiny. he’s not making much. smaller than the palm of his hand, but the crank turns and a little figure waddles around. “sounds crazy.” he says mindlessly. rokin almost makes a snide remark about being “real pals”. is that what he’s here for? what juan stressed was so important about having him back. rokin decides that’s not the kind of person he wants to be. that’s not the kind of energy he wants to put out, even if it’s what he’s thinking. “alright.” he sets his screw down, looking up at juan. “where is this drink?”

               juan is not blind to the mood of others,    despite what anyone who knows him might say.    he can be selectively blind simply because he likes giving people space to deal with their thoughts and feelings without him interrupting with a     ‘  how are you  ’    question,    and sure,     juan likes to party.     it is often that other peoples bad moods put a gloom over his party,    but that’s not the reason he tends to ignore them.     not the only reason,     at least. 

         it’s been obvious that rokin hasn’t really been up for it ever since embarking on take-two of the mission.     juan knows why,    but he’s not really sure about what he should do about it.     talking to rokin about it is one way,    but it hasn’t worked.    showing him,    well,    it’s not like juan can create the situation to do that.     it just has to happen,     and that means juan will just have to wait for that.     they’ll be out of roame in a bit;     he’ll need rokin at his side more than ever. 

     “   at a bar,    my pal,    we’re going into town.    hey,    did you see this cool cowboy hat i got yet ?    i can show you where i bought it along the way if you’re interested.   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

nofugitive·:

@captainlvna

“it seems like i can’t do anything anymore without putting the team in danger. i never thought of myself as a damsel, and yet the evidence proves otherwise. i suppose i should be thanking you,” she sighs, lifting her head. her eyes close as she winces from the effort, but then she looks at him, sad and sincere, “thank you, juan.” 

                “   hey,    we’re all a damsel at some point in our lives--    sometimes at several points,    i know i am,   ”      juan responds with a small shrug,    though there’s an unmistakable grin on his face,    just a small one;    one that has been there ever since they got kitra safely on the ship.

         he looks back at her,    nods a bit in acknowledgment,    but he doesn’t really need a thanks from her--    kitra has been out here doing what he should’ve been doing,    he should be thanking her.      “   nah,    don’t worry about it,    you know i’d do it anytime,   ”     he smiles,     “   you’re a freaking badass,   you know that ?   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

[ closed starter | @rckins ]

              “   hey,    you wanna have a drink ?   ”     juan opens,    standing across from rokin with a hand moving to rest on his waist,     “    it’s been a tough one--    you know they held leti at gunpoint ?    fucking wild,   man,   ”     he sighs,   shaking his head.    he’s tired and stressed,    which isn’t so bad since it’s the perfect reason to get a little tipsy for.      “   and leo called me a dipshit and stuff,   gotta be honest,   i don’t think he likes me very much...    could go for some time with a real pal right now.   ” 

[captainlvna-blog]

[captainlvna-blog]

paxrinne·:

Paxton crosses his arms in front of his navy scrubs. “I have patients, Captian,” he says. “They need me too.”

                juan,   of course,    doesn’t mean to undermine in any way,  whatsoever,   pax and his conviction to his work.   medics are individuals who juan has always had a great amount of respect for,    and pax specifically holds much of that respect.   he kept them bandaged together after they were floating in mid empty space,   torn apart and running out of oxygen.      “   there are more doctors here who are willing to help those patients while you’re away,    pax,   ”     juan says,   finding it difficult to get the words out,      “   but there are no doctors in roame who are willing to give kitra the help she needs.   ”     with a sigh,   he shakes his head.     “   i don’t--   i wish i wasn’t asking you to leave the life you’ve been settling here.    forget what i just said--   i’m not trying to guilt-trip you into it.    i’m asking you because i trust your skills undoubtedly and because i know that if i ask any other doctor i know to go into a non-alliance cleared mission,    they won’t go.   ”

[captainlvna-blog]

sparrow-zero-three·:

[HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] [——–] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] ARCHIVE STATUS: SHARED, 15998 HOURS AGO [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] CURRENT ARCHIVE ACCESS: 9 HOST(S) [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] … … [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] ? We ask ? [HOST NAME 0.0.0.2] Y [HOST NAME 0.0.0.8] Y [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] capt     ain [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] [ACCESSING: ANTI-█ █ █ ██  PROTOCOL] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] [ATTEMPTING: PROTOCOL OVERRIDE] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] [ADMINISTRATOR PERMISSION NEEDED] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] ? captain ? [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1]

               a brow raises.   they’re trying to send him some new archive   (   he thinks   )    and the number of hosts seems to be nine.    juan doesn’t really know what the means,   anyways,   and moves his thumbs over the keyboard.      this definitely has something to do with zero-three,   or at least with the eden ship. 

[ ACTP LUNA ] are  [ ACTP LUNA ] you [ ACTP LUNA ] asking [ ACTP LUNA ] for [ ACTP LUNA ] some [ ACTP LUNA ] sort [ ACTP LUNA ] of [ ACTP LUNA ] access [ ACTP LUNA ] ?     

he frowns,    chewing at his lip.    giving his permission code is worth the try,   he supposes.

[ ACTP LUNA ] PERMISSION GRANTED: A3PTL7NA