ganeshida

[ganeshida]

Little known fact about me Not only do i have inactive (listen depression be real) side accounts with more followers then my main (this one) but people think im normal over on those

But what if i make a bah blog specifically for alters I want to make and only make the packs I want and rarely take requests?

[ganeshida]

When our mother realises telling us to not feel an emotion isn't helpful in the slightest

Yes mother telling me to "stop being so grumpy" is totally helpful and not making this worse in any way

[ganeshida]

Having 1 thing to eat for the next day

Wanting to uber eats a meal

You live in a new build and the address isnt registered to uber eats

Suffer

[ganeshida]

Me talking to my friend: says a slur I can reclaim

Friend: omg yeah like (says the same slur but they cant reclaim it)

Friend: . . . . .

Friend: Wait I cant say that can i

I just start laughing because I got to hear them say it and realise it in real time

[ganeshida]

Me: seems kinda gay

Person: You legit have a boyfriend as a dude you're literally gay

Me: Yk having a bf doesn't make me gay right? You understand that concept? I'm actually unlabeled for the foreseeable future until I decide to change it to something I feel describes me better

Person: lmao I dont care you're gay

Me: buddy that is erasing my identity right there it's not exactly homophobic but it's very close go think about what you just did

Person: *ignores the situation completely, never says sorry, never acknowledges they did anything wrong to me downright avoids us if we bring it up but will magically talk to us if we talk about smth else*

I'm not Spark but this happened to me once and it very much annoyed tf out of me, if you do something wrong it's really not hard to acknowledge you did something wrong and apologise when someone points it out

Refusing to talk about or acknowledge what you did wrong to me just shows you're unwilling to admit when you make mistakes and aren't interested in growing as a person in any way

It was a simple thing they could've said "you're right it was wrong of me to say that and I'm sorry" and I would've been more accepting of it, not the fact they did it what they said to me will always be wrong but I'll forgive them a bit if they apologise and admit what they said was wrong

[ganeshida]

Honestly being a system that largely stays the same is so lonely

You talk to your old partner system and they hardly know who you are anymore all of the alters you once knew are gone and the new ones don't know you and don't necessarily want to talk to you

Yet you're still here with mostly the same alters talking to a stranger you knew almost everything about a year ago

You're stuck with the pain of knowing how close your systems used to be and how many of your headmates lost their family members or partners

But at the same time being happy for your old partner system, they might not know who you are anymore and its painful as hell but atleast they're doing ok

It's still painful and you know a large amount of your headmates will never talk to them again because it hurts them too much knowing people they cared about used to be in that system and knowing those people either don't exist anymore or don't care about them anymore

[ganeshida]

I love being an adult

Our alter count has stabilized so much we went from constantly splitting new alters and alters constantly going dormant and constantly coming out of dormany

Now we sit at a near constant number of active alters and sometimes they go dormant or come out of dormancy but way less frequently than before, we split less frequently too and it's so nice it feels so nice to be more stable

Our Simplyplural still has 300+ registered alters when we only have maybe 50-60 active at any one time but who am I to delete someones profile when they might come back I don't want to force them to redo it everytime they come back

[ganeshida]

One thing that strikes me as weird with our system that we haven't noticed in other traumagenic systems (specifically since that's our origin)

Is our alters dont have distinct ways of speaking aside from a few of them

We all basically talk the same in the same way irl but typing styles are different

All the other traumagen systems we've spoken to are really distinct when diff alters talk and it's weird to us?

I've been talking in vc before and my voice changed because idk that's what voices do maybe someone joined co front and the person I was on vc with was like "you're not spark anymore who are you" buddy I'm still spark the voice just be doing a funky my voice changing slightly doesn't garuntee I switched

We rarely switch in vcs anyway vcs make us concentrate it's so much harder to switch while listening to someone and replying compaired to text where you can take 5 minutes to reply

[ganeshida]

System culture is having multiple of your headmates dating eachother and then being fake claimed because "they never met in source" or "that's a popular ship" or literally just "that's not the characters sexuality!!!!"

Meanwhile us with the fuckin polycule of 5 (they're not all dating eachother one of them is making a post on it) and two alters from the same source who never met in source and are very much dating and in love in-sys

Funniest part about the 2 alters who never met in their source dating is they would've been enemies and tried to kill eachother cannonically in their source

Yes I'm still sleep deprived and yes that's why I'm shit posting

[ganeshida]

The irony of this showing up on my fyp (I'm pro endo)

[Img ID in alt text]

[ganeshida]

Me if I actually had people to care about

wish i could just beam my system's entire lore into someone's head at will so we don't have to explain everything to everyone we care about

[ganeshida]

Yk maybe i should tag my posts so people see them

Maybe one day if I get the energy

[ganeshida]

I love being called sexist when I say I dislike cis-men

Buddy my dislike is based on experience

Yes it might be sexist to meet someone and be sceptical about them from the get go because they're a cis-man

At the same time every cis-man I've taken the time to know even as a friend has turned into a shitty person towards me or downright traumatized me with no exceptions

The only "cis-man" who hasn't been an ass to me that I talk to as a friend is trans-fem/genderfluid so

My point stands of I dislike Cis-men those guys only ever traumatized me, made me feel uncomfortable or invalidated me

That being said I still make friends with cis-men if it just so happens I'm not avoiding them or being mean to them I'm just entering that friendship with some bad past experiences

It is literally totally valid to dislike a gender because of your experiences with them

It is not valid to harass or discriminate someone because of their gender regardless of experiences with them

[ganeshida]

I always end up shit posting when sleep deprived

My favourite part of existence is being told we sound Australian

We have never been to Australia, met an Australian we don't watch any Australian tv or other media with audio

I'm so curious how people think we sound Australian when we have no where we could've gotten that accent from

[ganeshida]

Dont you love trying to sleep and the body just not letting you?

Body: I'm tired. So tired we have a headache. So tired its borderline impossible to function

Me: ok I'll sleep

Body: actually no you wont hah

I've been trying to sleep for 2 hours why does it hate helping itself today

[ganeshida]

Tumblr said "I see proendo as a tag. What if I put you on anti endo tumblr?"

I've somehow ended up deeper in anti endo sysblr

TUMBLR PLZ IM NOT INTERACTING WITH THEIR POSTS my posts are tagged with pro endo what I interact with is tagged as pro endo

LET ME OUT OF JAIL

Also I'm getting some of my headmates/sourcemates to do a "learn about my ship in 15 seconds" thing because they're poly and I'm not trying to explain what's happening with all that so one of them is making the post themself

[ganeshida]

I've ended up on anti-endo sysblr

SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE

MORE PRO ENDOS INTERACT IM BEGGING

Antis are stinky