captainpoorimpulsecontrol

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

This is the picture that comes up when you search “stable polyamorous triad”.

Edit: I thought that was Christine Chapel, but it’s Janice Rand. My bad.

Why does this look like a family photo but Spock is their emo son

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

A British writer? 

PTERRY THE BRITISH WRITER?!

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRs1pjDU/

Now I’m picturing a high charisma paladin being called to deal with a dangerous dragon.

Paladin: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem.”

Dragon: Immediately switches from threatening to intrigued

Paladin (internally): Ok, now we got a whole new problem, but at least she stopped breathing fire.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Be the benevolent race of superbings you want to see in the galaxy.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Seriously has no one yet written a spoof of Remember remember the 5th of November based on the Supernatural finale? I only know about this through Tumbler going bonkers over the 2nd anniversary, and this is just an obvious missed opportunity.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Bwahahahahah, have a big heaping helping of love and kindness from internet weirdos my dude! 🤗🤪🤣😈

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Pinky and The Brain reboot is looking amazing 😻😂

These are the strongest nursing ear twitches I've ever seen.

She also looks evil and determined when nursing, clearly using this time to plot her takeover of the world

I, for one, welcome our future feline overlord.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Taking this idea and running a little further with it: Humans are Space Mongooses. Very similar in several crucial ways to badgers, but they do pack bond.

Ok so we all know about humans being deathworlds/space orcs as well as some people saying humans are space dogs or humans are space cats or humans are space fae.

My I present to to you...

Humans Are Space Badgers

I have no idea if this has bin done but humans are a lot like badgers and even though badgers don't pack bond they are tough little shits that no one real wants to mess with as, if you try and take one down you now damn well they are not leaving this world with out biting and scratching the hell out of you as much they can, and doing enough damage that it will have a lasting mark on you. You may live to tell the tail but you will never attack one again, and if you don't live well let's just say anybody who witnessed it will say they tore you limb from limb and sprawled your insides, out onto the ground. Also we can look very cute and fluffy.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Ok so in a human-are-space-orcs setting, humans are also going to be weirdly (or terrifyingly, depending on your point of view) good at booby traps: improvisational engineering, breaking rules, defending their homes/pack bonded crewmates/pack bonded ships, general mayhem and chaos, and sheer bloody-mindedness. Imagine the how aliens would react to Home Alone, Tom and Jerry, Roadrunner and Coyote, etc. “This is entertainment for their young!? This is training for guerrilla warfare!” “When attempting to capture a human ship or settlement, be extremely warry of anything that appears abandoned, or defended only by ‘unarmed’ ‘non-combatants’. There is no such thing as an unarmed human. There are only humans who have done a better job of concealing their improvised weapons. See files “Jackie Chan” and “Kevin McCallister”

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

If you’ve read the comics, watch the Netfilx series IMMEDIATELY, since it fixes a ton of unnecessarily-edgy-for-the-sake-of-seeing-if-they-could things about the comics, adapts the best parts of the comics brilliantly, and is definitely the best television all year. The writing is excellent, but the writer has had 30 more years to improve his craft, and learn how to make television to boot.

If you’ve read the comics, skip the Netflix series as it’s a bad adaptation that adds very little.

If you haven’t read the comics, this is probably the best television all year because you’ve never seen writing like this. Watch it.

Spoilers and many thoughts at the link.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Just 131 points shy of Mr. Gaiman’s score? I’ll take it!

https://www.arealme.com/vocabulary-size-test/en/14126533

I got the Top 4.47% on this English Vocabulary test

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

@fulgurite-and-petrichor it was shark toys I think? This one? https://youtube.com/shorts/LtHpkrlJjUw?feature=share

Can someone help me find a specific funny video?

It's a group of those like... dinosaur toys on sticks that grip things and you can find them in zoo and museum gift shops. And one of them says something like "ok, so one of us is secretly an owl" and another responds "who?" The first one starts saying "well that's the thing, we don't know" but does the most glorious double take I've ever seen.

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcUB-3lud60

My language app, trying to be helpful: Du

The ghost of Till Lindemann haunting my brain: DU HAST

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

My brain, which has been poisoned by too much time on TikTok: 🎼🎶PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC RAMMSTEIN🎵🎶

My language app, trying to be helpful: Du

The ghost of Till Lindemann haunting my brain: DU HAST

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

Respectfully, I’m fairly confident that the preceding understanding/definition of kink contains several non-trivial errors, or at least differs substantially from the understanding that the majority of kink informed people would use.

Briefly, no, kinky activities are not by definition one-step-removed from sexual activity. A great deal of kink is appealing because of the powerful emotional and mental effects of certain activities and relationship dynamics. Many of these feelings are non-sexual, or peri-sexual in the same way that romantic feelings are peri-sexual.

I suspect that the statement “fascism is inherently kinky” is mostly incoherent according to your understanding of kink. But it makes quite a lot of sense according to mine, because it speaks the the power dynamics of relationships and the emotional appeal of those dynamics. (Note: real fascism is still very bad, because there are no safe words and no bloody consent negotiations!)

i feel like fascism is deeply uninteresting as an ideology on like, a psychological level. like, i want a big strong man to tell me what to do too, youre not special

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

OK, but how weird must if be for Ea-Nasir’s spirit right about now. For thousands of years he’s just been chillin’ in whatever Babylonian afterlife he went to, his name an memory completely forgotten by every living soul. Then some archeologist finds and translates the world’s oldest bad Yelp review, and suddenly there are a few dozen living people speaking his name and thinking about him again. So his shade starts to, I don’t know, wake up a bit. Then Tumblr finds him, and suddenly his name is on the lips of more living people than he probably ever met in life. And now this happens, and suddenly he feels himself changing into some kind of minor trickster god. I’m mean, that’s gotta be weird, right?

..... Ea-Nasir is that YOU

[captainpoorimpulsecontrol]

And then there’s this dude, who’s just sleeping through the whole thing.

Ch🤪