captainshroom

[captainshroom]

[captainshroom]

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

[captainshroom]

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

[captainshroom]

It's dishonest work and it's a lot. And nobody needs to do it

[captainshroom]

drew my roommate's cat as a knight for her for christmas, his name is ghost pepper

[captainshroom]

Church of Whale Fall

[captainshroom]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[captainshroom]

the first log you read in an abandoned laboratory with blood stains on the floor and gouges in the walls:

[captainshroom]

[captainshroom]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[captainshroom]

[captainshroom]

[captainshroom]

i called up the jerk store and asked if they had you in stock. They said they actually have way too many of you because nobody wants to buy you. You may think this is a compliment or a silly little reversal, but you would be wrong. The man on the phone explained that despite your significant overstocking at the jerk store, nobody wants to buy you because you are simply too much of a jerk. You are too much of a jerk for the jerk store. That is the point of my annecdote. Anyway, the divorce hearing is on Thursday at 4:45. Yeah in the morning.

[captainshroom]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[captainshroom]

wishing all artists a very sincere "get weirder with it" this coming year

[captainshroom]

i don’t have any other followers it’s actually just you and me here

[captainshroom]

playing this new game called indeed.com and it fucking sucks