carab24

[carab24]

Never posted before - but here's a random story I wrote

End of the Road “I never would have married you if I'd have known how crazy you are!” You can’t believe what you just heard. Fifteen years of marriage and that’s the sentence he throws at you? He thinks you’re crazy? He hasn’t seen how crazy you can really be. “Oh yeah? Well, I would have never married you if I’d known how pathetic and spineless you really are! Can’t go to work due to a stress related illness? I’ve never heard a bigger piece of bullshit in my life!” He started pacing back and forth the dining room heavily, his breath going in and out of his mouth like when wind cuts through trees, getting heavier and heavier the more irate he got. You knew bringing up his work would finally bring his true feelings out. It was a touchy subject, due to all the bitter and distressed feelings surrounding situation. He hadn’t been to work in weeks, spending days at home, wallowing in bed or spending hours lying in his own filth on the couch. You found it pathetic. If anyone should be wallowing and letting their body turn to rot after everything that happened, it should be you. You’re the one who’s body failed to deliver. You’re the one who lost the baby. This had been coming for a while. You were just waiting for it to finally come in and punch you in the stomach. The miscarriage hadn’t even been the start of it all, it was just the nail in the coffin. If anything the baby should have saved the marriage, not sent it sinking into the ocean. Now days just dragged on and when you weren’t working to keep your mind of darker thoughts, you’d come home to your husband reminding you of all the things you lost, even him. “I lost a baby too, you know?” He says, bringing your mind back to the forefront. “That baby was just as much mine as yours, even if I didn’t carry it. I’m allowed to be upset” Here he goes again with the same excuse. “I never said you couldn’t be upset, I’m saying that we can’t allow it to shadow everything else in our lives. You can’t keep putting off work and we definitely can’t let this affect our marriage anymore than it has” If there is even a marriage anymore. You’re sure love hasn’t played any part in your relationship in years. You’re just too scared to say it out loud, even though he knows deep down the truth of it all. That the baby was just an attempt to make them closer again, after years of not really speaking or saying what needed to be said. That they didn’t love each other as much as they did at the start and that holding on was hopeless. The miscarriage just seemed like a premonition. You take a seat at one of the chairs at the dining room table, laying your head in your heads and taking deep breaths. You feel him creep closer and rest his hand on your knee. “What should we do?” The weight was always on your shoulders. “I don’t know”.