#readmyshit

[adhdinfluenceddisaster]

It's pride month and therefore it's homophobic that nobody wants to read the shit I write

[hazeleyedfloozy]

Work of Art. Part 1.

Heyyyyy friends so i haven’t written in a really long while because my life has been a real shit show. But now that it’s getting back to normal; I’m gonna try to write again. This a John Deacon x OC because I need me some COMFORT. And if I can’t have it I’ll write about instead. OKAY BYE. 

Warnings: Mentions of death, drunk driving, anxiety. Funerals, loss, angst angst angsty angst. 

Bouquets of flowers cluttered the dining table, counter space and foyer of the now very empty home. The smell of wilting plants invaded her lungs as she attempted to pour a bowl of cereal.

It had been five days since the funeral.  Two weeks since the accident. And what seem like an endless amount nights since her entire life fell apart. The walls were still hung with treasured photographs of the lives that had been so selfishly taken. A loving, somewhat dysfunctional family torn apart over such a stupid decision.

If I ever have the opportunity, I’ll kill him myself. That was the only phrase that ran through her head over the past week and a half.

Her parents and younger brother had been involved in a car accident, her parents killed instantly from impact. Thankfully, her brother was only banged up slightly; a broken rib and concussion. The accident was caused by a drunk driver; slamming into the Ford Cortina that had been so deeply loved by the family.

She’d heard so many people. So many voices complementing how well she was taking all of this. How strong she was for her brother; still an adolescent. How well she was keeping everything together. She could only nod and whisper a small “thank you” ; careful to not express any real emotions.

Her brother had returned to classes today; and she attempted to return to work that morning. Unable to reach the front door without a considerable amount of difficulty, her boss had recommended she take another week off.

She promised him she’d be back tomorrow morning; them both knowing full well that probably wasn’t the case.

What made matters worse; is that her childhood best friend; the love of her life… was nowhere to be found. John Deacon had become her best friend after a dare on the playground had gone sour; both too nervous to kiss the other on the lips. (The then eleven year olds promised they’d wait until they were ready. That day never came.)  Unable to form a full sentence for the first few days following the accident; she didn’t bother calling him. When Brian (the lead guitarist from his band) phoned to acknowledge his condolences; even offering to come home early from the tour to be there for her… and yet he still didn’t bother to even write. She’d wanted to feel angry. To feel upset. To be heartbroken over the fact that her best friend couldn’t make it to her parent’s joint funeral.

It was a celebration of life, really. She didn’t want people reliving her trauma for hours on end; it was enough to experience it in cinemascope every moment of every day.

The doorbell rang; jolting her out of the trance she was in. Dropping a Lily she’d picked from one of the many arrangements that had been sent to the house over the past few weeks. She was growing bored of them, really.

Knowing it was either another floral arrangement or takeaway from a concerned neighbor; she opened the door slowly.

It was neither.

John stood in front on the other side of the door frame; a single red rose outstretched to her. Her mouth dropped a bit; blinking furiously at the long haired, handsome man. His eyes met hers softly; him recognizing the pain hiding in them so effortlessly. The guard and shield did not have to be present around John. She’d been bullied, almost tormented through their years of school. For her height, untamable curly auburn hair, and freckles cascading over every free patch of skin. She’d been through the worst (or what she thought was the worst) with him. She’d been through the best next to him, too. The success of his band; her graduation from art school and subsequent portfolio showing at a fancy, London hotel. When the band really started to grow; she’d been put to the wayside. (Or so it felt that way.) The last time they’d had an actual conversation on the telephone was on her birthday, eight months ago. He’d tried to protect her from the media, from obnoxious names in the music industry who’d made fun of the lass when she’d left a party at Freddie’s one evening. He vowed to never let them hurt her again; thus distancing himself from her completely. (Even if it meant breaking his own heart in the process)

“Niamh… you look… tired.” He spoke softly, breaking the awkward silence with a knife.

“Did Brian send you?” Niamh asked flatly, letting him stand in the entryway of the house.

“Freddie mentioned it… actually.”

“Of course he did. As if the four bouquets and takeaway twice a week wasn’t enough.” Niamh rolled her eyes, attempting to quite literally shut the shy bassist out of her home.

“Niamh! You can ignore me all you want. But I’m just here to try and make sure you’re keeping yourself well. The band is concerned.” He rushed out; hoping the words would hit her ears before the door latched shut.

“And why should they be? Loss is a part of life. All of you know this.”

“They’re hoping you’ll come out on tour with us.”

“As if I don’t have a life here? As if I don’t have a brother that is LITERALLY my responsibility, John?! But of course you don’t know any of that because you’ve pushed me out of your life.”

“Life gets busy… I just…”

“You didn’t want the public to know about me. About your friendship with the ugly, freckle faced girl from a crappy part of London.” Niamh croaked.

Rain started to fall against the shutters of the once beloved home; now filled with distant memories and painful reminders of all that was lost. She motioned from him to come inside.

“I was trying to protect you, love.”

“Protect me from what, John? That’s not a fucking excuse.” She whispered tearfully, slamming the door shut. The impact of the noise making John’s shoulders jump.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.. love.”

“That’s the last thing I need to hear right now.” Niamh wrapped her arms around herself, keeping her guard up higher than usual.

“What do you need to hear? What can I do, Niamh?”

The cold, frigid exterior she kept was melting away as her heart began process what was actually happening. Her childhood best friend standing in her in her living room; the backdrop of childhood paintings and vacation photos spread across every single each of wall.

“I do believe this oil painting was created right after our first album was released.” John giggled softly, his hand brushing against the artwork.

“You never quite learned to not touch the masterpieces, hm?” Niamh joked.

The only masterpiece I want to touch is you. He thought to himself. He’d harbored feelings for Niamh longer than any one human should; unable to let her go. Unable to get the fire haired, ferocious woman out of his head. Whenever Freddie would sing the haunting lyrics of “Love of my Life.” in concerts and gigs, he’d think of the girl he’d always dreamt of kissing. The girl he knew he would spend the rest of his life pining for.

But I’d rather spend one hundred years pining after you; than losing you because of a puppy dog crush. He’d tell himself as Freddie finished out the beloved song.

“I hung all of these a couple of nights ago when I couldn’t sleep. It makes them seem closer somehow.” Niamh’s eyes filed with hot tears. She grabbed ahold of the pencil silhouette she’d done of John about one year before Queen experienced their first surge of success.

“I meant to always give you this… but… I never did because I felt like you were here with me… even when you were…”

“Countries away?”

She nodded softly.

“I miss you, Niamh. I want you in my life forever.”

“Then why did you leave in the first place John?!” She screeched, her voice almost hoarse. A hand flew over her trembling lips; stifling a sob.

“I’m so sorry… please… let me back in… anything I can do… I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t even know what I need right now.”

“Well I’ll stay until we figure it out. Together. We can have a fresh start. Together.”

She could only nod; the sobs controlling her entire being. He felt his heart shatter as he watched his best friend in such a state of misery. To see the strong, beautiful woman he’d fallen so deeply in love with, so broken and in a state of mourning. She turned to face him; her broken eyes filled with such exhaustion. Instinctively; he wrapped her in his arms. It was an awkward angle; as she quite literally towered over him at 6’4.

“As much as I enjoy holding you, I do believe this isn’t comfortable for either of us.” He suggested, nudging her side. She tipped her head back, laughing the hoarse laugh he’d treasured all of these years.

“Lets get you to bed.” He whispered, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. She agreed, her body so exhausted from almost two weeks worth of little to no sleep.

Softly climbing the stairs; she’d taken the lead, wanting to retreat to her comforting bed.

He smiled at her room; unchanged since the last time he’d come to visit. The same photo from a summer night was placed on her nightstand. He had decided to play “leapfrog” only to have Niamh’s younger brother capture it on film. Gently pulling the quilts over her (what seemed tiny when she was in such a state of disbelief and heartache) frame; he kissed her forehead. Grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from the linen closet; he plopped himself down on the floor of her childhood bedroom. “The floor cannot be comfortable. You’re not seventeen anymore.”

“Still used to…”

“My Mum threatening to call your Mum if you tried any ‘funny business’ when you crashed here?” Niamh laughed.

“Come up here. It’s fine, really.” She convinced him. Thanking the gods above that he wouldn’t wake up with a stiff back; he settled in beside her.

“It feels good to have you home.” She whispered, before letting her eyes droop shut.

“Home.”

[anxietywontmakethewordsgo]

I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT, FUCKERS! I chose the quote and songs after the fact: the real inspo was in my last post. Speaking of which, thank you @birdybluejay , @spn_sabriel YOU BEST WATCH OUT BC IM BACK😈, and @_.castiel_aotl._ happy birthday! Have a gift!🎁 And just a heads up: the structure of it may be a bit weird, bc it’s more experimental for me. I usually try to stick more to the basic fanfic format, but the details in this one were too ingrained in my daydreams for me to convert them. Tell me if you like the style, I’d really appreciate feedback! - - #supernatural #fanfic #sabriel #fluffandsmut #mybabies #theydeserveeachother #letthembehappy #iamonehornybitch #imaslutforfeedback #pls #readmyshit

[carab24]

Never posted before - but here's a random story I wrote

End of the Road “I never would have married you if I'd have known how crazy you are!” You can’t believe what you just heard. Fifteen years of marriage and that’s the sentence he throws at you? He thinks you’re crazy? He hasn’t seen how crazy you can really be. “Oh yeah? Well, I would have never married you if I’d known how pathetic and spineless you really are! Can’t go to work due to a stress related illness? I’ve never heard a bigger piece of bullshit in my life!” He started pacing back and forth the dining room heavily, his breath going in and out of his mouth like when wind cuts through trees, getting heavier and heavier the more irate he got. You knew bringing up his work would finally bring his true feelings out. It was a touchy subject, due to all the bitter and distressed feelings surrounding situation. He hadn’t been to work in weeks, spending days at home, wallowing in bed or spending hours lying in his own filth on the couch. You found it pathetic. If anyone should be wallowing and letting their body turn to rot after everything that happened, it should be you. You’re the one who’s body failed to deliver. You’re the one who lost the baby. This had been coming for a while. You were just waiting for it to finally come in and punch you in the stomach. The miscarriage hadn’t even been the start of it all, it was just the nail in the coffin. If anything the baby should have saved the marriage, not sent it sinking into the ocean. Now days just dragged on and when you weren’t working to keep your mind of darker thoughts, you’d come home to your husband reminding you of all the things you lost, even him. “I lost a baby too, you know?” He says, bringing your mind back to the forefront. “That baby was just as much mine as yours, even if I didn’t carry it. I’m allowed to be upset” Here he goes again with the same excuse. “I never said you couldn’t be upset, I’m saying that we can’t allow it to shadow everything else in our lives. You can’t keep putting off work and we definitely can’t let this affect our marriage anymore than it has” If there is even a marriage anymore. You’re sure love hasn’t played any part in your relationship in years. You’re just too scared to say it out loud, even though he knows deep down the truth of it all. That the baby was just an attempt to make them closer again, after years of not really speaking or saying what needed to be said. That they didn’t love each other as much as they did at the start and that holding on was hopeless. The miscarriage just seemed like a premonition. You take a seat at one of the chairs at the dining room table, laying your head in your heads and taking deep breaths. You feel him creep closer and rest his hand on your knee. “What should we do?” The weight was always on your shoulders. “I don’t know”.

[rainingbenjis-blog]

Pulling up to my grandmother’s house, I smiled as I noticed that everything was the way it was since the last time I was over here. She wasn’t the one to changed things around much if she already liked the way they are. I sighed to myself, looking over at my bandaged arm before slowly removing my arm brace and throwing my jacket on so that she wouldn’t be able to see it. Once I was ready, I made my way up to the front door and knocked on it a couple times, waiting for a few seconds before the door swung open. Her face seemed surprised at first but grew wide as she threw her arms around my shoulders, causing me to clench my jaw so I wouldn’t make any noise as pain immediately shot through my shoulder. I was able to recollect myself and carefully hug her back. “Benji! I missed you. I don’t like how you just forgot all bout a sweet little old lady such as myself.” A laugh emitted from my lips at her comment, as I stepped inside and closed the door after me. “Now you know I can never forget bout you mama. I just been dealing with some things. But it smells good in here, you must have knew I was coming.” I said, sniffing around as she waved me off. “Boy, you can’t eat at my house no more. You empty my kitchen.” “How you doing though? And ima growing boy, I need all my nutrients.” I spoke, trying to hold in my laughter as she gave me a face but failing miserably after a few seconds. “I’m doing alright. Just taking one day at a time. My doctor said I’m doing better. I might just be able to beat this. I could be a survivor.” In my head, I did a silent sigh of relief hearing that news, thanking God for her improvement. She walked into the kitchen, stirring the soup that was in the pot causing the scent to hit my nose even more as my stomach started to growl. “Now I heard you mention you going through some things.” She said, turning to face me. “Are you ok?” I rubbed the back of my neck with my uninjured arm and shrugged. “I guess so. Me and Danny got in this huge ass–” Raising her eyebrow, she looked at me sternly causing me to chuckle and correct myself. “I mean huge argument yesterday so I think ima just leave it alone. It’s obvious whatever bond we were tryna have was forced so.” She sighed and shook her head, going around to the cabinet to get out to bowls before pouring some soup in each of them. “Benjamin. Whether you believe it or not, all she wants from you is to feel like your sister and to feel like you love her.” “But I do love her, she knows that. She’s my family, nothing is ever gon change that.” I said, grabbing both of the bowls and taking them over to the table so we could sit down. “Have you ever stopped to think that’s not how she feels? How often do you ask how life was going for her out of genuine interest and not just because she asked you? I love you Benji and you know I’m not trying to take her side on this but she comes and talks to me every once in a while which is more than I can say for you.” She said, playfully hitting me in the back of my head causing me to laugh. “I know, ima come by more often. I promise.” “Mhm, and your lightskinned ass needs to learn how to call back.” I pretended I was surprised by her choice of words as she waved me off, shaking my head and starting to eat my soup. “Just talk to her. Woman don’t act funny for no reason, there’s most likely something going on with them that’s making them act that way. She just wants to be a part of your life Benji.” Listening to her words, I sighed and nodded my head to let her know I understood. “I will mama, thanks. I love you.” “I love you too.”

[ashyassknees-blog]

“All I need you to do is make sure anyone who isn’t on this list doesn’t get anywhere near my VIP section. Can you handle that?” Rick Ross requested, handing Makai a mini tablet with a list of names already showing bright on the screen. Some names who he recognized and some he didn’t. But that didn’t matter either way. He nodded in response, standing in front of the celebrity’s section as a bouncer would do a club. This was pretty easy money for Makai so when he was made the offer, there was no part of his brain telling him to refuse. Especially since he got to be in the section for free now. Plus, he did more difficult tasks every week— sometimes even with less money offered. “Damn, I definitely needa renegotiate my fees with some of these people.” He mumbled to himself, scrolling through the list a few times so that he was able to memorize a few of the names that stood out. His gun was always tucked at his side just in case some niggas decided to get out of line, hidden away in plain sight underneath the hoodie he was wearing.

“Oh my gosh! This is Rick Ross’s section! We should see if we can find him and get a picture.” Two females started to make their way towards the entrance with their phones already in their grasp before immediately being met with Kai’s hand against their chest which caused them to get pushed back a couple of steps. “Where the hell y’all think y’all going?” He could tell by their previous comment that they in no way belonged in the section so he quickly deaded their hopes of a selfie. “Mr. Ross doesn’t wanna be bothered right now.” He gritted out sternly causing them to look at each other with sad eyes, then back to him before starting to make their way towards the direction they came from. Makai shook his head as he sighed in annoyance, continuing to memorize the list so he wouldn’t have to go back and forth searching through them too often.

“I hope shit ain’t like this all night.”

[blogdoityourself]

Need advice regarding repairing plaster on concrete ceiling

[lifeofalegend]

Rant #1

I finally have realized what all this pain engulfed in feelings means, I finally understand, why people are by them self’s in their life and choose to never get close to anyone, those are the people who, when fall in love or getting attach it hurts the most, they can barely handle the pain they can’t cope with this they never learned how to. I understand you. I am truly sorry it took me this long to understand. I hated you for shunning me and my open arms, but I finally understand now.  

And I am honest to God sorry, for how I have looked at people like you or like this, forgive me.

But the main reason I am writing today it because, I realized my love for you is special, like a muscle never used but now stretched out, you are the longest I have ever stretched for someone, the longest. This is a big moment for me and you even though we honestly gave it our all and I truly belief this was the best we could spit out. And yes I said the best WE could spit out. At least right now, forchanly I have a lot to teach myself in my search for self growth (which is a real thing by the way.) 

I realized My love for you went deep like the dark seas of the ocean never knowing when it will hit bottom, so  that’s why this is painful, cause you match me in that feeling , which it really hard for both  of us to come back from that. We were on a small boat for two casting our only lines into the deep sea watching as the hook slowly sink to the never reaching bottom, they never hit the bottom…..

But this it definitely going to take some time to heal I realize this as I cry randomly now knowing you were something soo close but so far away, the puzzle piece that almost fit. 

But it would have worked if I hadn’t realized there was more for me out there for me?

Would it have worked out if I hadn’t cheated?

Would it have worked if I had just pushed through and confronted how I felt?

Why couldn’t I push through, why couldn’t I just suck it up, maybe his was the next stage I just never had felt? I’ll never know.  Just like my love for the ocean on the surface so shinning in the sun everyone wants to swim but some days too can have a sharp undertow pulling people in and never returning ….

You asked me what do I think of you, well you were my friend, my lover and my partner in crime, we had dreams together, we were going to grow and get things done.

The love for you is too deep to just move on its hard I turn back a lot and want to try again, but I still don’t know how you stand so strong and tell me no, I honestly don’t know how you do it. 

 I applaud you that are major strength I am longing to have, to fight those urges those feelings.

To make the right choices above all else.  That is want I wish I had. And I will have it one day.

You wonder what I think of you, I’m scared to tell you, will you use it against me to survive this emotion war inside ourselves? I’m not sure but, I am willing to risk it, maybe ill regret it...but if it will make you see what I see, or at lease spark the enlightenment I look for, inside you. It would be all the worth it.

Just for you think about what I think about. You never let me inside your head, you think I don’t think you work hard but I know you do. I see you are someone worth trying again and again for, maybe I am not right for you now, but hopefully if there is time I will be right for you someday. When I say notice me senpai, it not cause I saw it on your wing or to make you feel bad, but I honest want you to notice me, not just physical but mentally and emotionally as a person, I want you to see me as the inspirational person I am, I want you to see the things in me I love and remind me of them every day (not really every day, but the little things you do). You truly brighten my world, always looking at new things and always to the future, I love that. It pains me at the moment to think of how I feel about you. My defenses are screaming to push you away to just leave you, to not tell you anything, to never give you closure. But my heart and mind want to give you closure, my one last gift to give, to be able to rest in peace with everything. I mean, I wish so hard that I can try again with you, to break one of my rules to follow, I made a rule to never date someone twice, but I want to break it sooooo bad. I know right now is not the right time, please let me grow; please don’t grow to hate me. I just want to get where I want to be before I settle down. It really isn’t a bad idea. It just hurt to distance the one person I want to be close to.  You ask me what I think of you, I love you.

You asked me why I don’t do the dishes at home like I do at my parents

You asked me why I don’t work on my car, like I’ve wanted to. 

You tell me you know I am not lazy, which I am not, only sometimes, but it does overcome us all sometimes.

 I hate how you asked me to unpack my boxes and now you are asking me to pack them up again.

Makes me sick

[vincepatrick]

[rainingbenjis-blog]

Leaning my elbows onto the counter while the new girl beside me continued to ring up shoes, I chuckled at how quickly she was moving to make sure the line moved accordingly. “I see they workin you. Aye, I’ll tell you what. Go help that family over there and I’ll handle ringing up the rest of the line.” She sighed in relief and finished up with her customer before making her way over to the family that was trying to find a certain pair of sneakers in each of their size. Taking her previous spot, I helped the next customer pay for their goods before seeing one of my regular customers step into the store. I slightly nodded at him causing him to do the same before looking for some shoes. By the time he got in the line for the register, I had already checked most of the customers out. Once he got to the front of the line, I grabbed the shoebox from him. “You found everything aight today?” I asked with my eyebrows slightly raised. “Yea but uh, I think I need another size though. Size eight.” Nodding my head, I made my way to the back towards the hidden box where my stash was. Him needing another size was code for him wanting to buy some weed and since he was a regular, I know he usually bought a 3.5 so I pulled out a baggy with an eighth of a ounce before taking out the paper inside one of the shoes, wrapping the paper around the small bag and stuffing back in the sneaker. Putting it back how it was, I closed up the box and made my way back out to the front. “Aight, I got that size for you.” I said causing him to nod in response as I rung up his merchandise and told him the price. He pulled out straight cash, handing it to me after I opened up the register. I counted the money making sure that the price of the shoes plus the extra $40 was there before pulling out two twenties, slyly sliding them into my pocket as I placed the rest of the money inside the cash register. Putting the shoebox in a bag, I handed him his receipt. “Thanks for shopping at Foot Locker.”

[ashyassknees-blog]

Makai leaned against the wall of the alleyway he was standing in, twirling the metal bat in his hand impatiently. Finally hearing a door open and close, he looked up and spotted exactly who he was looking for which immediately caused a smirk to form on his face. Tossing his hood over his head, he quietly jogged behind the man who was too oblivious of his surroundings to realize what was happening before it was too late. A loud crack was heard as soon as the bat came in contact with the man’s knee causing him to immediately plummet straight to the ground. The man yelped in pain before attempting to call out to someone. “HELP! HEL—” His hand roughly landed over the guy’s mouth as Kai gritted out his next words lowly through clenched teeth. “Unless you want this bat to do some dental work on ya teeth, I suggest you shut the fuck up and tell me why the fuck you ain’t got my money. I was nice enough to give you an extension and you repay me by avoiding me?” Kai shook his head. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now look where you at. Where’s my shit nigga?” He slowly began to lift his hand from the guy’s mouth, preparing for him to scream again but this time, he only whimpered. “Please! I’m sorry. I— I don’t have it yet, I just need some more time.”

Makai acted as if he was thinking about it before looking back down at the man with an icy glare. “I must have stupid written across my forehead?” Reaching down, he removed the man’s shoe before snatching off his sock, stuffing it in the guy’s quivering mouth right after. He already knew what came next. Kai didn’t even bother to use the bat. Tossing the metal weapon to the side, he balled up his fist and sent blow after blow to the man’s face and body. Blood soon began to pour from the fresh wounds that were now forming on the man’s skin but that didn’t slow Makai down one bit. He was tired of being lenient with this nigga. Once he felt the skin on his knuckles start to tear, he replaced his fist with his feet so that his DNA wouldn’t be found, stomping and kicking any and everywhere he could. His victim’s body became completely limp. Makai couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not and honestly, he didn’t give a fuck. He dug into the man’s pocket, retrieving his wallet to get a good look at his ID before memorizing his address. “I think ima pay your place a lil visit. Nice doing business with you.” Standing to his feet, he grabbed the bat and tucked the wallet in his pocket before looking around to make sure the coast was clear and running back the same way he came. 

[21shaddai-blog]

I sighed and stared up at the sign of the muscular rehabilitation center, shaking my head but continuing to roll my black ass inside of the building. I already had everything set up so all I had to do was check in and my trainer, if you will, would be right with me. Looking around at all of the people inside, there were some working on various parts of the body that I didn’t even know people came to these kind of places for. Suddenly, a small caucasian woman stepped in front of me with an oversized grin on her face causing me to break out of my thoughts. “Right this way Mr. West.” She spoke, gesturing me towards an area with two long horizontal bars stretching across it. “Now we specialize in aiding people in the process of regaining full functions of any muscle following an injury of some sort. We help restore the strength, flexibility, endurance and power in that said muscle. The amount of time it takes varies but anything is possible when you put your mind to it.” She was extra preppy about this shit, earning a nod in response. I ain’t have shit to say, I was just ready to get back on my feet. She began to roll my wheelchair between the two bars. “Now Shaddai, what I want you to do is stand. And try to walk across the floor with the aid of these two handles. I’ll be at the end of it to meet you there.” She smiled at me before walking over to the opposite side of the bars. A heavy sigh left my lips as I gripped onto the bars. “Here goes fuckin nothing.” I mumbled to myself, using my arms to pull myself to my feet with a slight groan as my legs nearly collapsed beneath me causing me to fall to the floor. I ran my hands over my face and shook my head. “Come on Shaddai, you can do it! Get up and try again.” I heard her eager voice call out again causing me to sit up and reach for the bars once again, pulling myself up as I used my legs as much as I could. I was finally to my feet. “Good. Now the hard part’s done. It’s time to take some steps.” Pressing my lips together, I attempted to lift my foot from the floor making my foot slightly drag along the carpet a couple of inches. “Okay good, but now I want you to lift it. I know you can do it if you try hard enough.” I nodded and began to lift the other foot off of the ground, letting it plop down in front of me after moving it. My arms began to get tired as they felt like the only things holding me up at this point while sweat beads slowly made their way from my forehead. It began to get easier and easier to lift my legs as time went on. I had been there for hours. Practically my entire day, trying to get my legs strong enough to at least walk on my own. After the bars, we tried me walking with a walker then just her at my side making sure I didn’t fall. I was determined to finish this being crippled shit once and for all.

[delmontae-blog]

Taking the small bouquet of flowers that I had recently bought this morning outside to my backyard, I walked over to the far end of the yard where the small self made tombstone sat, carved with the name “Mula” on it. I sat down next to the stone, knowing that her head rested in the box buried underneath the ground and sighed. My arms rested on my knees while I held onto the the flowers with a loose grip. “Man, I miss yo ass Alyssa… so much shit been going on with me that I know you woulda had my back on. A nigga can’t even really believe you gone. Sometimes I still be expecting a text in the morning saying ‘ain’t no time for sleeping when there’s money to be made.’ Kept a nigga motivated.” I chuckled bitterly and shook my head, letting it hang low as I stared at the ground. “Just keep watching over me lil sis, ima be up there witchu sooner or later. Just don’t be tryna fight my ass when I do.” I laughed out, trying to lighten my mood a bit before straightening out my face and looking up from the ground over to her tombstone. Laying the flowers down directly in front of it, I stared at it for a while not knowing that a single tear rolled down my cheek causing me to quickly wipe it with the sleeve of my shirt. “Ya know, I still text you goodnight sometimes… anyways I hope you enjoy them flowers, I know they yo favorite.” I stood up and glanced at the stone a final time before making my way back inside.

[nnnikserabwar-blog]

idk why folks pay more attention to my photos or snap than my poetry

i dont get ittttt. i'm on jst about eveey social media platform but twitter, and i'll get likes on random photos or photos of myself and no luv in my poetry posts -_- either folks dont read anymore or .... 😭

[jiggk]

readmyshit mencionou você em uma foto “readmyshit: I read a great fafic yesterday but can’t find it again...”

…cuz it was greaaaaaat @ toppdont wow yes ! Thank

ur welcome!! im happy to help!! (i really loved this fic too omg)