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[cardinalfeng]

ending a story in other languages

kurdish: “my story went to other homes, god bless the mothers and fathers of its listeners” (Çîroka min çû diyaran, rehmet li dê û bavê guhdaran.)

greek: “and they lived well, and we lived better” (και ζήσανε αυτοί καλά και εμείς καλύτερα)

afrikaans: “whistle whistle, the story is done” (fluit fluit, die storie is uit)

goemai: “my tale has finished, (it) has returned to go (and) come home.” (tamtis noe lat / dok ba muaan yi wa)

amharic: “return my story and feed me bread” (ተረቴን መልሱ አፌን በዳቦ አብሱ::)

bengali: “my story ends and the spinach is eaten by the goat” (aamaar kothati furolo; Notey gaachhti murolo) *means something is irreversibly ended because goats eats herbs from the root

norwegian: “snip snap snout, the tale is finished” (snipp snapp snute, så er eventyret ute”

polish: “and i was there [at the wedding] too, and drank mead and wine.” (a ja tam byłem, miód i wino piłem.)

georgian: “disaster there, feast here… bran there, flour here…” (ჭირი – იქა, ლხინი – აქა, ქატო – იქა, ფქვილი – აქა)

hungarian: “this is the end, run away with it” (itt a vége, fuss el véle)

turkish: “lastly, three apples fell from the sky; one for our story’s heroes, one for the person who told their tale, and one for those who listened and promise to share. And with that, they all achieved their hearts’ desires. Let us now step up and settle into their thrones.” (Gökten üç elma düşmüş; biri onların, biri anlatanın, diğeri de dinleyenlerin başına. Onlar ermiş muradına, biz çıkalım kerevetine.)

[cardinalfeng]

[cardinalfeng]

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[cardinalfeng]

You are tasked with killing a bloodless chimp.

Chimp Stats:

The chimp does not have blood. It cannot bleed to death.

The chimp does not respirate. It cannot asphyxiate.

The chimp does not need or desire food or water.

The chimp does not age.

The chimp is infinitely patient.

The chimp has chimp physiology. Which is to say it is roughly 5x faster, stronger, and more agile than a human.

The chimp does not feel pain.

While toxins may be effective, the chimp's physiology is an enigma.

The chimp resides somewhere in an abandoned apartment building.

The chimp nest will be extremely dark.

The chimp has superhuman senses, including excellent night vision.

The chimp can regulate it's body temperature. It will not appear on thermal cameras.

The chimp is of uncertain but cunning intelligence. It can mimic human speech and mannerisms.

The chimp can use any weapon, but the chimp will prefer to kill you with it's hands.

The chimp will heal extremely quickly.

The chimps rapid healing factor MAY be temporarily stunted through the application of anti-chimp salve, or UV radiation.

The chimp MAY be confused by particular geometric patterns.

The chimp is flammable, but it does not fear flame. Fire will not slow it.

The chimp cannot be reasoned with, bargained with, or meaningfully communicated with. The chimp only wants you dead.

Your Stats:

You must remain clandestine. You are not allowed to destroy the apartment building.

For this reason, explosives are prohibited.

You get help. You are allowed a team of up to twelve people for your anti-chimp task force.

What is your plan for killing the bloodless chimp?

[cardinalfeng]

well, that animal isn't known to us. kill it before we see a second one

[cardinalfeng]

I'm late to the fanart party, but I did do a Tears of the Kingdom!

I'm enjoying the game very much, very sowly!

But my visceral fear reaction when the gloom hands first showed up and I didn't know what was happening was absolute raw emotion and I still have to remind myself not to just RUN every time I see them spawn in. Poor Link!

[cardinalfeng]

The eroticism of flicking on the stove in a freshly cleaned kitchen.

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Hot take of the day: elves fucking eat meat. Of course they fucking do. They hunt. Dwarves are the vegetarians. Or like mushrooms and tubers or whatever.

[cardinalfeng]

Packed my husband a slice of cake with his work lunch and he sent me this

I am losing my mind over this.

[cardinalfeng]

"would it kill a Victorian child" is out. "Would it send Brennan Lee Mulligan into a tailspin" is in

[cardinalfeng]