casperambles

[casperambles]

When Larry blinked it was an effort to lift his eyelids back up. His head was heavy and he knew all he had to do was close his eyes. Let his breathing even out and his mind empty.

But his mind wasn’t empty. It wasn’t necessarily completely full of coherent thoughts but it felt busy none the less. He didn’t know why he was doing this to himself, he was frozen. Stuck awake, but he was so tired. His phone felt heavy in his hand and his fingers were starting to ache as he scrolled the screen but barely looked at what was on it.

His eyes flicked to the time.

04:47

He had to get up in just over two hours.

He hadn’t slept.

He didn’t know why he hadn’t slept but something didn’t let him, not that he’d attempted to sleep. Anyway, if he slept now he’d sleep through work, he justified.

He sighed. Caught in this limbo.

His mouth was dry. He should move. Just. Move.

Fucking.

Move.

He sighed through his nose and stared at his reflection in the black screen of his phone.

When did the screen turn off?

He unlocked his phone and looked at the time but it was still before 5, every second felt like it lasted forever and yet the night went by so fast. He’d kept telling himself every hour that this was the hour he’d turn off the light and go to sleep, and yet each hour passed and he was stuck awake.

He scrolled through social media but he didn’t even read the words on the screen, he just had to keep his hands busy. He had to keep busy.

His mind felt busy, yet blank.

He felt like something else had control of him, like something was pulling at his strings, or perhaps not pulling at his strings. Perhaps his puppeteer had abandoned him.

He just had to move. It was easy.

He looked at the glass of water on his bedside table. All he had to do was reach over.

He willed himself to move. Begged himself.

He dropped his phone onto his mattress.

He reached his arm over and took ahold of the glass, brought it to his lips and took a sip, then placed it back down.

Was that so hard?

He sunk into his bed, throwing his arm over his face.

He was so tired. He was tempted to sleep. His body was so, so heavy. He picked up his phone again: 05:02. Maybe two hours wouldn’t hurt. He could force himself awake after two hours.

He didn’t want to force himself awake for two hours. He wanted to sleep as long as his body would let him.

[casperambles]

Katy was afraid to touch his face. It was a silly fear when she thought about it, it’s just some fake skin, yet she knew what Larry’s face should feel like. It should feel rough when she moves her thumb up and down his chin, smooth when she runs her fingers down his jaw but prickly when she runs them up. His neck and chin should feel like rough sand paper and his lip and sideburns should feel like a sandpaper with a finer grain. He was always clean shaven but his face had so many different textures to it.

Her finger tips remembered.

That was her Larry though.

When her fingers hovered over this Larry’s face she knew it would feel different. She wasn’t ready to feel something different, not when he looked, acted, and sounded much like the Larry she knew. She could back out and she knows this Larry would understand. He was like that. Sensitive, caring, and understanding even though he was a robot.  She wanted to do this though, get over this mental hurdle.

She finally cupped his jaw in her hand and she wanted to jerk her hand back but she refrained. His skin was warm to touch and when she ran her thumb over his skin it felt… strangely like actual skin. It’s soft and squishy and wrinkles in it moved with her finger.  It was also smooth. Completely smooth. As realistic as the texture was it was still some sort of silicone, no hair grew out of it. It of course had artificial hairs placed into it to simulate the natural fuzz that humans had but it wasn’t the same. There was no rough stubble, no sign of a beard that grew, it was...

It was different.

Katy cupped Larry’s face with both her hands and ran her fingers over his skin, over where facial hair should grow on a human. It was all soft and smooth with no roughness to it. She knew it would be soft and smooth, she knew he didn’t grow facial hair, but feeling it filled her with…

Relief. 

She was relieved, she didn’t know she’d feel relieved. She thought she’d be upset but she was so glad his skin felt different. 

[casperambles]

Larrybot cries for the first time when he finds out his favourite item on the menu is sold out

The first time he cries he doesn’t know what’s happening. He feels his fans whirr to life and he starts breathing heavily- he doesn’t need to breathe unless it’s to regulate his temperature. Why is he heating up so fast? He feels something on his cheek.

“Oh, Larry,” Katy says in such a sweet and kind voice. He doesn’t know why she’s putting on this voice. He rubs the thing on his cheek and sees…. Oil? There’s oil on his hand. Why is there oil on his hand? His fans whirr even louder and he feels more oil drip down his face.

“There’ll be more tomorrow, I’ll keep one back for you.”

His breath hitches. He coughs out a noise but it doesn’t sound like a cough. It sounds like when humans are sad. It sounds like a sob.

Lemon drizzle cake is his favourite and there’s none left.

Katy walks around from behind the counter and wipes at his face with a tea towel. She moves to take her hand away but he grabs her wrist lightning fast and leans his face into her hand. “I know there will be, thank you.” His voice doesn’t sound right, there’s crackles where there shouldn’t be.

Katy pulls back her hand again and Larry lets her, but this time she takes ahold of his hand and pulls him towards a table with a chair “Have a seat” she instructs him, and he obliges. “Just sit here a while.”

Larry nods. He sits staring at the table, staring at the dark droplets splattering against the wood. He’s been busy all day, so busy, there’s so much work to get him settled into working for the league, and work is what he’s made for but even then he’s been busy all day and hasn’t had a chance to rest his mind and man. He really wanted a piece of lemon drizzle cake. He’s been looking forward to it almost all day but never had a chance to visit the patisserie until now, but now they’re almost closing and there’s none left. Thinking about it makes him sob again. He feels like a human child, unable to regulate himself.

He’s glad there aren’t really any people at this time of night, he feels illogical. He focuses on his breathing to try to cool his body down. A deep breath in and a breath out. In. Out. In. Out.

He wipes his cheek again but this time no new tears fall in their place.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

His fans start to even out again and quiet down. He wipes at the table with his hand to try to remove the oily tears that fell on it with only a little bit of success. He’ll need to refill his oil tank. He takes that thought and pins it in his mind.

A glass is placed in front of him. It’s a cloudy liquid with ice in it and garnished with a wedge of lemon. Homemade lemonade he deduces.

“Feeling better?” Katy asks.

Larry nods “Yes. I’m uh. Sorry about the table.”

“Oh don’t worry about it” Katy laughs “one of our old gym leaders was a mechanic and he’d drag oil in here all the time, we can take care of it.”

“If you say so.” Larry responds before taking a drink of the lemonade. It’s funny, he thinks, how he came in to buy a lemon drizzle cake but was given lemonade on the house. He reached for his wallet and flipped it open, it was still new and the cards were difficult to remove, but Katy swats his hand away “Larry don’t you dare.”

Her words are serious but her tone is lighthearted and he raises his hands in mock-surrender “Okay, okay.”

He places the wallet on the table in front of him and stares at the glass of lemonade.

“Thank you, Katy.”

Katy smiles. “Of course, anything for my favourite customer!”

[casperambles]

Larry tries on lingerie and jerks off while fantasising about Hassel and Katy

He sucked his breath in upon looking down at himself. The way the bra cupped his pecs made him blush and the way his half hard cock started to strain in the tight pants almost made him lightheaded.

He’d chosen dark lingerie, black lace over grey satin. It looked amazing and it made him wish he had a full body mirror to look into. For now, however, he settled on just the view he got looking down himself and the way the underwear felt on his body.

He adjusted the bra slightly and relished in the way the silky smooth fabric rubbed against his sensitive nipples. He did the same with the pants, trying to make them fit his growing cock and the satin rubbing against it made him moan softly.

He was in the comfort of his own apartment but he imagined being walked in on- what if Hassel or his girlfriend Katy saw this? He’d like to imagine they’d call him beautiful, delighted in the way the lingerie wrapped his most sensitive areas like a present.

Hassel wasn’t his boss but he was above him in the elite four and him holding that power over him while seeing him like this-

Fuck. Larry couldn’t help the groan rising from his chest.

Hassel would make him sit in his lap and look him in the eyes while he looked over his body. He’d touch him and tease him but not where Larry really wants him to touch. Hassel would call him princess and kiss sweet kisses on his face and then his neck and then finally he’d move the bra and tease his nipple with his mouth.

Katy. Sweet Katy. She’s his cupcake, his icing, his pleasantly plump ice cream mochi.

What if this was her underwear. What if she caught him wearing her underwear, what would she say? What would she do? He wanted her to embarrass him, drag it out, fix the way it sits on him, tell him if he needed help he should have just asked while adjusting the strap of the bra. He wanted her to teasingly readjust the pants, feel the way the material rubbed against his skin.

He wanted her to call him pretty. She’d call him pretty and beautiful and tell him he’s all wrapped up like one of her own baked treats. She’d kiss him and tell him he tastes as sweet.

He could almost cry just thinking of the fantasies. He rubbed his hard on through the underwear, not daring to touch the bare skin. He left a pretty dark patch on the front of the pants where his cock strained against them and he chose to focus on that area, rubbing the the soaked material against the head of his cock and he wishes someone else could hear the moans that dropped from his mouth. He rubbed the material up and down his cock, his breath getting heavier. He used his other hand to pinch and twist his nipple.

He could feel his face heat up, feel himself start to sweat and his fingers start to tingle. His hands were getting tired but he was so close, all he’d have to do is reach his hand inside the fabric, touch the bare skin of his dick. He didn’t want to though.

He wanted to soil the panties.

Fuck. God damn. The thought of that alone was enough to rile him up and he did just as he wanted.

His chest heaved as he started to come down, he felt his legs begin to shake so he sat down.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of the pants and pulled them down and the sight of his white cum against the dark fabric was almost enough to make him want to go again.

[casperambles]

He gently knocked on the door. The academy was still so very new to him, he had no reason to be here most times, he finished his schooling many years ago. Still, he had come here on the suggestion of Hassel.

He looked at his watch. Had he been heard? He stands awkwardly for another minute to pass before deciding to knock again. Harder, this time. He was always scolded for being too quiet, but he figured this was loud enough when he heard something move on the other side of the door and a charismatic "Come in!"

So he did. He turned the knob and carefully walked in, hoping he wasn't disturbing any classes. Thankfully he wasn't and the room was mostly empty. "Jacq..?" he quietly questioned, he wasn't familiar with the staff.

"Larry!" Jacq answered cheerfully. Obviously he was familiar with Larry and it made Larry feel a little guilty. "What brings you here?"

"Well, I uh.." Larry mumbled, placing his briefcase on one of the empty tables in the room "Hassel and I were discussing things and somehow we got onto me being raised in Sinnoh," he starts, unclipping his briefcase and opening it "I'd taken part in the gym challenge there and Hassel said you may be interested in this so I came to drop it off." Larry picks up his old Sinnohan pokedex and holds it up to make his point. "You have a real Sinnoh Pokedex?!" Jacq excitedly questions, immediately rushing to Larry's side. Larry holds it out for Jacq to take but he seems content looking at it in Larry's hand. "Can you show me how it works?" Ah. Yeah there's that. Larry hadn't considered that Jacq wouldn't know how to work it. "Oh yes, sure..." Larry said, pressing its power button to turn it on. When it powered on it listed many details in a language Jacq couldn't understand. The only things he could make out were what appeared to be Larry's trainer number and a photo I.D of him when he was a teenager. Larry went through the menu using the D-pad on the side and pressed the large green button when he got to the option he wanted. Jacq was studying his movements and the pokedex menu thoroughly and when the menu changed to show a list of Pokemon Jacq was delighted. "Here." Larry said, once again holding out the pokedex "Have a look."

Jacq happily took the pokedex, almost shaking with excitement. he scrolled through the pokemon with the d-pad until he figured out that the screen also worked as a touch screen. This was so cool, he never thought he'd see a real Sinnohan pokedex, he never knew anyone from Sinnoh before. He pressed his finger on some pokemon to bring up their info but quickly realised none of the information was in a language he could understand. Still, he was thrilled. There was so many pokemon here, some he could find in Paldea but some he'd never seen before. "Larry this is so-" he laughed, cutting himself off, too excited. He took deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down. "I appreciate this so much, thank you!"

Larry nodded "Of course. Hassel did say you'd like it."

"And he was right! I'll need Salvatores help to translate it but this is so helpful. A first hand pokedex from another region!"

Larry somehow forgot about Jacq not being able to understand the language it was written in. He himself speaks multiple languages. "Oh... I can help translate it, it is mines afterall."

Jacq grabed Larry by the shoulder and Larry flinched under his touch but his grasp kept firm "You would do that?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine."

Jacq could have hugged Larry. But he didn't Instead he just gave Larry a large smile and let him go, continuing to scroll through all the pokemon on display. There's even photos of them in their natural habitat and some handwritten notes.

"Thank you Larry, really."

"No problem, it's about time someone got some use out of it again."

[casperambles]

He felt like he could cry.

God.

His body felt like it was made of lead, each arm feeling like they weighed a tonne each. Lifting his hand to brush his hair out of his face took tremendous effort, but he did it, just for it it fall back down into his eyes and he sighed a sigh so deep his soul may just have well left his body.

He hurt, his feet throbbed in pain, his knees grated against themselves, his hip felt like it was being stabbed.

He could cry.

But he didn’t. Not because he was holding anything back, but because he couldn’t. His eyes felt unbelievably dry, his mouth was fixed into a frown, but his chest was almost filled with an emptiness, like it was a void.

He fished into his pocket for his keys and fumbled with them a little, he swore when he couldn’t jam it into the keyhole, but when he finally got his door open he kicked it closed behind him and dropped his bag to the floor with a loud thud.

There was silence, just the smell of dust welcoming him back.

He stood there for too long, just taking deep breaths before kicking his shoes off haphazardly and making his way into his kitchen to grab some pain killers. He knew he should have taken them with something to drink but he was so exhausted and done with it all that he swallowed them dry and then made his was to his living room to drop onto the couch.

All he could hear was the ticking of the clock on his wall and the sound of his heart in his ears. He hadn’t even removed his blazer or taken off his tie. He tried to breathe a deep breath and sink into the couch but when did that lump form in his throat? He didn’t know when he started gasping for air but when he blinked he felt the tears fall from his eyes. He almost shouted, but settled on a quiet groan when he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. He tried not to openly sob but there’s no one to hide this from.

Except himself, he guessed.

He balled his hands into his hair and pulled when he felt more tears sting his eyes and he bit his lip so hard in an effort to control his breathing.

But he was so tired, and he was in so much pain, and this pit in his chest bored through to his spine, and a strangled sob escaped from his throat, and then the dam falls. He almost choked on all the noise that came out, the tears wouldn’t stop coming and his nose started to run.

Why was he crying? This is so stupid. This is so dumb. He’s pathetic.

Pathetic.

The thought of that word pulled another sob from him.

He realised he was pulling at his collar and moved to unbutton it, removing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt a few buttons.

He tried to take deep, calming breaths.

He couldn’t.

His nails dug into his skin, he wanted to pull his heart out his chest.

He thought maybe if he’s lucky he’d cry himself to sleep.

———

When he awakes he’s in pain, his back and neck ache and his eyes burn. He sits up, picking the crust from his eyes and rubs his face, feeling the crust of dried tears on his cheeks. He curses himself for falling asleep on the couch and checks his wristwatch.

04:00.

He sighs and sinks back down. He tries to swallow but his mouth is so dry. He doesn’t want to get up but his back starts to ache again and he’s so hungry, he didn’t eat in the evening. He begrudgingly sits back up and pushes himself off of the couch. His body is still heavy but he feels so dried up.

He makes his way back to the kitchen and considers taking more pain killers, but he’s too tired and just pours himself a glass of water to down and butters some bread to eat on his way to his bedroom. He should have slept here, really, because his back and neck are Really complaining. He finally shrugs off his suit jacket and hangs it over his computer chair, cringing at how creased it is after sleeping in it. He throws himself into his bed and closes his eyes, he doesn’t care if he doesn’t wake up in time for work.

He doesn’t care if he doesn’t wake up.

———

He does wake up however, and he would just go back to sleep if it wasn’t for the way his belt was digging into him, forcing him to move.

He checks his watch.

07:23

So he did wake up in time to go to work, it’ll be a rush to get there on time, but he lifts himself from his bed anyway and goes over to his wardrobe to pick out a suit. He doesn’t even look over them, just picks out one that’s dark grey and decides it’s good enough before changing clothes and haphazardly fixing his hair. He can shower later.

He grabs his work bag on the way out, ignoring the way his stomach rumbles.

Today is gonna be a long day.