cassettedevil

[cassettedevil]

Do you fuck with sonic or is he like your nemesis

- 📞

Good question. Love the sonic games but I’m just sayin’.. I’m definitely faster than that blue little shit.

[cassettedevil]

Could I have YOUR autograph?

Hell yeah you can dude.

[cassettedevil]

There you go! He signed your autograph. He put LOTS of effort.

Woah woah woah. Quickie with a cat? You got pics? Is this feline open for autographs?

- 📞

Autographs as in he’s giving? Cuz hell yeah. Anyways this is Ghost Maximoff, he’s one year, four months and 21 days old. There’s some pics of him as a kitten and now.

He looks just like me 🥲

[cassettedevil]

Woah woah woah. Quickie with a cat? You got pics? Is this feline open for autographs?

- 📞

Autographs as in he’s giving? Cuz hell yeah. Anyways this is Ghost Maximoff, he’s one year, four months and 21 days old. There’s some pics of him as a kitten and now.

He looks just like me 🥲

[cassettedevil]

I have a blue guitar pick necklace and some blue streaks in my hair, does that count?

Do you guys understand the hell of trying to find your friend when there's at least 5 versions of him running around?

[cassettedevil]

We’ll have to put that theory to the test

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

Uh huh.. just say you suck at arcade games.

Also, it’s alright to be desperate, maybe I like the attention.

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

Hell yeah. I’m down to go whenever- as long as I’m not on a mission at least. I bet I’d kick your ass in Mortal Kombat.

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

Smart.. might actually do that

If my walkman ever dies mid-run I will simply collapse and perish.

[cassettedevil]

No yeah- Charles was fighting for his life. Dude almost died.

You said you were at an arcade though? You go often?

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

Do you like ladies, boys, or both?

Bold of you to assume I slow down long enough to date.

But yeah—ladies, mostly. that’s how the cookie’s crumbled so far. Though I’m not anti-crumb in other directions, y’know?

Like if some guy with pretty eyes and good taste in music offered me a Twinkie and said “wanna make out?”

…I’d probably (definitely) say yes.

So yeah. call it bi, call it open-minded, call it a little confused in a hot way— I like who I like. Haven’t met a guy yet, but the door’s cracked.

[cassettedevil]

Yeah I saved everyone.. also, like, we got kidnapped by military people n shit. Crazy story! I got to punch apocalypse a few times which was pretty rad.

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

How's life as an X-Men? Any cool missions yet?

Mmm.. I had a mission in space once. It was pretty rad, found out I can still be fast asf up there. Otherwise it’s the same old, mostly just preventing attacks on my kind or rescuing some mutant somewhere.

Being an X-Man(?) is badass though. Sometimes I get to sign a hot girls tits with silver sharpies

[cassettedevil]

If my walkman ever dies mid-run I will simply collapse and perish.

[cassettedevil]

What's your like.. max speed?

- 📞

I.. don’t know, but I can run fast enough to watch bees flap their little wings in slow motion, so I assume really fast.

I can also dodge bullets and run fast enough to save people from a huge explosion.. soooo I’m fast.

[cassettedevil]

Short story: I was so damn distracted by those cookies I wasn’t looking infront of me

Also OJ w pulp is despicable. I hate pulp.

Yo, what snacks do you like? Curious..

- 📞

Oh buddy. Oh pal. Oh sweet naive soul. You just opened the snack floodgates.

Top tier:

— Twinkies (obviously. they’re perfect. golden. sacred.)

— HoHos (don’t look at me like that. chocolate + swirl = serotonin)

— Cool Ranch Doritos (judgment will be ignored at 300mph)

— Pop rocks + soda (dangerous? yes. do I care? absolutely not.)

— Gummy worms (I eat them like spaghetti. don’t ask.)

— Any soda that makes your tongue hurt a little. The fizzier the better.

— Free snacks. The best kind. Stolen? Maybe.

Also: once ate a whole sleeve of Oreos while dodging lasers. 10/10 would do again.

What- about YOU though? Don’t be shy. Drop the snack faves. I won’t judge. (probably.)

[cassettedevil]

Xander you were doing so good. Cool Ranch Doritos? Elite. Fruit snacks? Iconic. Lunch meats? Bold, respectable, mildly suspicious.

BUT THEN—

you came into my metaphorical house… and you said “I don’t actually like snack cakes.”

Sir. Xander. How DARE you.

You are disrespecting an entire food group. A lifestyle. A cultural identity. “the filling squirts at me”?? bro it’s frosting, not a jump scare. What do you mean you’re cake-positive but cream-negative??

I should speed-deliver a Hostess variety box to your door and make you face your fears.

(also: those powdered donuts? they’re snack cakes in disguise. welcome to the dark side.)

But fine. fine. I’ll let the juice slide. Fruit punch supremacy. Apple juice when it’s cold? god tier. Orange juice is better tho

Also chips ahoy?? criminally good. One time I ate a whole pack and accidentally ran into a glass door. No regrets.

bonus points for the snack theft morals. steal from the snack-rich. feed the snack-poor (me).

Yo, what snacks do you like? Curious..

- 📞

Oh buddy. Oh pal. Oh sweet naive soul. You just opened the snack floodgates.

Top tier:

— Twinkies (obviously. they’re perfect. golden. sacred.)

— HoHos (don’t look at me like that. chocolate + swirl = serotonin)

— Cool Ranch Doritos (judgment will be ignored at 300mph)

— Pop rocks + soda (dangerous? yes. do I care? absolutely not.)

— Gummy worms (I eat them like spaghetti. don’t ask.)

— Any soda that makes your tongue hurt a little. The fizzier the better.

— Free snacks. The best kind. Stolen? Maybe.

Also: once ate a whole sleeve of Oreos while dodging lasers. 10/10 would do again.

What- about YOU though? Don’t be shy. Drop the snack faves. I won’t judge. (probably.)