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1/05/23
Alright. I’m heading out on my first official mission as a Fourth Portal guild member (I’m actually already on it, but I can’t tell you where we are or that I rode here on the back of a dragon). As I said, a lot of stuff in my day-to-day life is going to be classified, so this is going to be my last entry for a while.
Thank you all for reading. Keeping this journal has really helped me center myself and process everything that’s happened the last year, and the fact that I got to share it with some people who enjoyed it makes it all the better.
So thank you, everyone, and if I end up writing again in the future I hope you’ll enjoy reading. Keep an eye out for me in the news.
Love,
Cassidy
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30/04/23
All right. It was fine. I’m feeling a lot better.
I got up this morning, threw my last minute stuff into my bag, and drove to Fourth Portal. My landlord saw me off and assured me he’d keep my stuff safe as long as I kept paying rent. For the first hour or so of the drive I was nervous as hell, but then I got tired of being nervous so I got excited.
I arrived and was greeted by Drake and a bunch of others I worked with on the paraelemental planes, and I was shown to my room, and then I was invited out for drinks. We’re going on our first mission tomorrow, which apparently means it’s fine to get wasted tonight, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Cassidy
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29/04/23
It’s my last day in town (for now). Tomorrow I’m driving to the Fourth Portal HQ, so I’m doing all of my last minute packing and saying my last minute goodbyes. I have to pack things like toothbrush, phone charger, perishable spell components, and also avoid freaking the fuck out.
I’m almost there. At the job I’ve wanted my whole life, the one I was told I could never have, the one I fought so hard for. The one I trained and bounty hunted and went to four different dimensions for. It’s so close and now I’m scared it’s all going to go wrong.
All of my friends assure me it’s just my anxiety and that it’s going to be great, but I’m freaking out.
AAAAGH!
Cassidy
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28/04/23
I’m taking the day to hang out with Habit and grab coffee, recount all the good times, and talk about the future. We had a long talk, and he’s making me feel a lot better about leaving the sanctuary.
Not that I was planning on changing my mind about my job at Fourth Portal, but I was starting to feel like I was leaving behind the first people to actually care about me.
Habit pointed out that the people at the sanctuary, especially the ones who care about me, are happy for me and want me to take my dream job. And even though I haven’t had a lot of experience with it, people who care about each other find a way to stay in touch. He pointed to Jo and Lexi as an example, which also helped.
I’m taking these few days to pack and wrap things up before I head to my new job.
Cassidy
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27/04/23
The party last night was so wonderful. Rob grilled up amazing burgers and Leroy provided top notch drinks, Valory brought Soup and showed us the new tricks she taught him, and Sammy brought a safe version of lawn darts that still managed to bonk people in the head. Habit also brought Douglas which led to Douglas and Leroy playing the ballad together towards the end of the night when they were both drunk and bad.
I’m going to miss these people so, so badly. They’re such amazing morons, and they’ve been such great friends, and we’ve been through so much together, and shit I’m going to start crying again while I write this.
I’m going to miss the sanctuary and everyone who works there. Badly.
Cassidy
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26/04/23
It’s my last day, and I have cried three times today. I’m saying goodbye to everyone at work, Habit and the veterinary staff brought me a cake, Jenny took me to say goodbye to all my favorite animals, Pam gave me the most grandmotherly hug I have ever received, and Glenda and Warrick showed up and managed not to drive me crazy (thought that might just be nostalgia).
I haven’t even made it to Rob and Leroy’s party yet and I’m already a mess. I’m going to miss this place so badly. With all the pressure my parents put on me I never really connected with anybody in highschool or college, and during my bounty hunting days I never stuck with one gig for more than a few months. This is the closest I’ve been to such a large group of people, the first time I’ve felt at home somewhere, and I can’t believe I’m leaving. I know it’s what I’ve always wanted, and that I’m going to have a blast, but I can’t believe I’m leaving the sanctuary.
Cassidy
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25/04/23
Douglas has officially released the sequel to the ballad, and it’s doing the same numbers as the first part if not more. Leroy has once again decided to blare it in the car on a loop for every minute of driving to and from calls, and sing it loudly while we’re out of the car. He seems to have memorized the whole thing already, which I actually find pretty impressive. At least now that’s there’s more of the ballad the loops are longer and it takes longer to drive you completely fucking crazy.
Nice to know that I won’t be forgotten at the sanctuary, because thanks to Leroy everyone will have that song stuck in their heads for the rest of their lives.
Cassidy
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24/04/23
I was right. I regretted last night when I woke up this morning. I would still do it again, nothing could ever be worth missing Valory and Sammy’s duet, it was just not fun dragging my ass out of bed this morning.
In other news, Chandra and I ended up going on a call together, and as we were driving back she apologized again for all she had done. She said she was working on stuff and she knew she was a huge bitch, and she said that she hoped I didn’t hate her.
I told her I didn’t hate her, and that I forgave her, and she nodded, and then it was a hella awkward fifteen minutes before we got back to the sanctuary. I think she meant it, but who knows. Hopefully she can figure her shit out and be happy going forward.
Cassidy
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23/04/23
Start of my last week, and it is off to one helluva start.
I walked in to find Valory and Grace arguing over arrangements of a “girl’s night”, which they then tried to hide from me (very poorly). They continued to play dumb throughout the rest of the day, even going so far as to try to convince me there was some sort of shapeshifter on the premises impersonating the two of them.
The charade fell apart as soon as we were done for the day, when Valory invited me to go out for drinks with her and then led me to a karaoke night with her, Grace, Jenny, Karen, and Sammy. It’s a hoot, I’m writing this as Karen sings a haunting rendition of “Single Ladies”. I’m going to regret this when I have to get up tomorrow, but it’s a terrific time.
Cassidy
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22/04/23
So I’m doing some packing, trying to put together a “ready to go” adventuring kit I can take around the world with me, and I got an email from Fourth Portal regarding my blog.
Basically, because I’m going to be going on adventures that will concern national/global security that may involve classified information, if I want to keep this blog going I’m going to need to start sending my posts through a censor to make sure I don’t release anything sensitive, which would mean that I’d have to wait two weeks before posting and probably edit a lot of my posts.
With everything going on I’m not going to be up for that, so I’m going to keep journaling but I won’t be posting it once I start my new job. Keep an eye out though, I might end up writing a book some day.
Cassidy
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21/04/23
Got called back to the same petting zoo that had the chupacabra problem last fall, and surprise surprise they have a chupacabra problem again. I swear they’re getting more aggressive every year. We found one chewing on a rat in the ticketing booth, and when we came at it the first time it snapped at us instead of running away, which is not how chupacabra’s are supposed to act. Some dumbass tourists have probably been feeding it, so now they’re not going to be scared of people and someone’s going to end up in the hospital with a chupacabra bite.
It was just a matter of walking around and rooting out their nests, took us a couple hours but wasn’t too hard. I’m sure the field team will be going back there in a couple months anyway.
Cassidy
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20/04/23
Leroy told me that he and Rob are putting together a going away party for me on the evening of my last day of work. He also said that it didn’t matter if I had packing to do or had planned to leave or anything, they were throwing the party whether I was coming or not. I told them that of course I would be there, I would never miss one of their parties. There’s always way too many hijinks.
In other news, Douglas already has a draft of the second part of the ballad, and he swung by the sanctuary to do a demonstration, which got a lot of the tourists very excited. He told me it will be ready to release soon, as he’s been hit with a wave of inspiration.
Cassidy
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19/04/23
Good ‘ol grick hunting. Gotta love grick hunting.
We got a call to a property outside of town, and when we got there we were astounded to find that the owner had built an elaborate hedge maze where the gricks had set up their nests. We were put at a severe disadvantage because the owner told us not to damage the hedges, a condition to which the gricks did not abide. So we spent the afternoon falling over ourselves in a farcical maze chase until we finally managed to round them all up. I’m still not convinced we got them all, but there’s only so much you can do when you’re searching a maze.
Cassidy
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18/04/23
My parents haven't responded to my email yet. I don’t know if they’re ever going to. We’ve spoken twice in the last year, they didn’t even check on me after I stopped the Avatar of Magma.
Habit says they’re probably too chickenshit to admit they were wrong, but I think there’s more to it than that. I think they’re mad that I’m happy. I think they’re mad that I didn’t go down the professor route they had planned for me, and that I’ve succeeded without them.
I’m trying not to dwell on it too much, but obviously I’m failing. I should be enjoying my last days at the sanctuary, not worrying about what my shitty parents think.
Cassidy
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17/04/23
I may have emailed my parents today, to tell them I got a job with the most renowned adventuring guild in the world. I may have done it for stupid and petty reasons, and those reasons may have been to tell them they were wrong to step on my dreams and that they were the reason I dropped out of college.
I may not have heard back from them yet and may be freaking out while I text Habit asking me what to do. He may be telling me I should have been meaner.
I may not have gotten the catharsis I was hoping for from that.
Cassidy
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16/04/23
So I was talking with Fourth Portal about housing, and learned quite a few things.
Fourth Portal has headquarters all over the world, and a lot of the adventurers have designated rooms at those headquarters, but most of them also have their own private residences that they stay at between adventures.
I asked my landlord if he’d be OK with me keeping my current apartment as my primary residence, and he said he’d love to have me. I asked him if he would be OK with the danger that might follow me as I make more enemies at Fourth Portal, and he said he’d enjoy a good fight. So I’ll still have my residence here, and will probably stay here when I visit friends between adventures.
Plus, with the wards my landlord put up this is probably one of the safest places I could stay.
Cassidy
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15/04/23
I’m going out for drinks with my coworkers tonight. I feel so sad, knowing this is going to be one of the last times I get to go out for drinks after a day of wrestling alligators and obnoxious customers.
I’m riding in Rob’s car, and Leroy is talking his head off about how he should have been the one getting offered a job and at Fourth Portal since he was the one who soothed the Avatar of Ice when it was accidentally summoned. Rob and I were both nodding in a good natured way, and then Leroy stopped his bluster and told me, in all sincerity, that he was proud of me and happy he got to know me and help me along my way. I was about to cry, and then Leroy started talking again, which helped me feel better about leaving.
Cassidy
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