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If you’re not amused you’re probably not human.

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Me when my mutual blasts my dash with 50 posts in a row about something I've never heard of before:

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love when recipes are like "to melt the chocolate, cradle it gently in your arms in a Pyrex® 2003 20cm diameter dish over a bubbling cauldron on a moonlit night". have you met my good friend Michael Wave

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I think people want to replace screen addiction with lots of hobbies/reading/activity because we are used to the overstimulation. and I get it. you have to wean. but toss in some staring at the floor while you're at it. add some quiet nothing time to ur schedule

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The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

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i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

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shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.

when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on

in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek

once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl

I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation

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Regenwetterbeschäftigung von Loki😻

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I know that the nitpicking over why the Fellowship didn’t just ride the eagles to fly directly to Mordor has been talked to death, there’s more than enough answers. The Doylist answer is that would stop the whole book from existing, or replace it with a wholly different book all about eagles. The Watsonian answer is that a) the eagles are a noble independent people not a taxi service, b) the quest is a stealth mission and huge massive giant eagles are not stealthy, c) Mordor has air supremacy and the eagles could only fly to Mount Doom after Sauron was defeated and the Nazguls all gone.

But just now, option d) occurred to me: do we really trust the eagles to withstand the ring? If it tempts Gandalf and Galadriel, surely it tempts Gwaihir the Windlord. Do we want to create the Dread Lord of the Skies? He would wear the Ring on his lovely sharp claw! He would fly higher and swifter than the winds of the world! He would build a magnificent nest from the broken timbers of Edoras! He would eat so many people! All elves and men would be forced underground!

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Rest of the universe is gatekeeping us out from hanging with them

So Voyager found out there is this bubble surrounding our solar system made up of solar material blown outwards by solar wind and acts as a border between the solar system and the rest of space has a temperature of 30,000-50,000 Kelvin.

For reference the surface of the sun has a temperature of roughly 5770 kelvin

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Everyone who automatically assumes nonviolence = lame ass protests needs to google daniel barrigan rn. Catholic priest and pacifist who went to prison for breaking into war offices and buring draft cards with homemade napalm. THAT'S how you do nonviolent resistance. Its not the nonviolent nature of the resistance that fails, its how much people are willing to risk. People risk very little nonviolently walking down the street. People risk a lot to nonviolently sabatogue weapons, pipelines, etc.

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when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

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(by film_phts)