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Thinking about how everyone in the vc cheered when techno entered the call

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techno: this skeleton is such a problem child, oh my god

philza minecraft, staring at his serial murderer of a son: ....mhm

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subscribe to technoblade

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“You’re trying to fool someone whose last name is Minecraft!”

— Philza, when Fundy tries to scam him

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techno on twitter is just like *bullies tommy* *bullies tommy* *bullies tommy* *bullies t

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why do these photos hold the energy of a dad walking in on his child making a tiktok

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sleepy boys inc am i right lads

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wilbur: if i die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party and you’re all invited.

philza: “if.”

technoblade: great, the only party i’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

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Don’t forget to gear up properly for fishing :)

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philza after seeing some people do something stupid: oh god what idiots

philza after realizing they’re technoblade, wilbur, and tommy: oh no those are my idiots

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PHIL PHIL PHIL PHIL PHIL

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tommy: philza how do I get revenge?

philza: the best revenge is forgiveness.

tommy:

tommy: techno how do I get revenge?

technoblade: knife.

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philza: why would you give a knife to a child?!

techno: tommy felt unsafe.

philza: now i feel unsafe!

techno: i’m sorry.

techno: would you like a knife?

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idk about y’all but I think the concept of Wilbur and Tommy getting so scared that they called Techno to come beat everyone up is gold. Like:

Schlatt: what’re you gonna do? Call your mommy and daddy?

Wilbur and Tommy: Not yet we don’t want Phil to know we’ve been running a drug business. But if you don’t stop then we’ll tell our older brother on you

Techno: Hello.

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Another Ten Stupid Conversations from the Dream SMP Gang (2)

Tommy: You got a lot of friends, Techno?

Techno: Not really

Tommy: Oh

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Dono: Hey Philza, could not catch streams in a bit. What have you been up to?

Phil: We’ve been doing crystal!

Phil:

Phil: Wait

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Tommy: Wilbur, you can message me to stop if I’m pushing it, but I’m not pushing it. I’m being awesome.

Tubbo: Wow, you’re so confident

Tommy: Thank you, Tubbo! Do you aspire to be more like me?

Tubbo: I do!

Tommy: Why?

Tubbo: Uh...god...

Tubbo: That was actually a complete lie!

~

Tommy: You get attached to your horses, do you?

Techno: ...yeah

Tommy: Well I’ve never been attached to anything.

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Schlatt: The only person I’m not platonic with is my hot chess girlfriend

Quackity: I thought I was your hot chess girlfriend :(

Schlatt: You don’t play chess.

Quackity: I’ve played chess before! Fundy, have I or have I not played chess with you in the past?

Fundy: You...have not played me in chess

Quackity: Okay...yeah...

Fundy: Why would you bring that up? That’s, like, never happened.

Quackity: I just thought you’d vouch for me :(

Fundy: No.

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Wilbur: I’m doing some guerilla warfare

Techno: We’re gonna need more gorillas! :D

Wilbur: Yeah, that’s why I need you here, Techno

Techno:

Techno: Thats kinda rude...

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Tubbo: *joins vc* Hello :D

Niki: Hello! Hey, Tubbo, um-

Tubbo: Yes! Hey!

Niki: Hi!

Tubbo: Hey! Hey!

Niki: Hi! Hey!

Tubbo: Hi! Oh my god, hi!

Niki: Oh my god, hey! Hi!

Tubbo: Hey! Hi!

Niki: Hi!

~

Tommy: Dude, Phil, you’re gonna die of old age

Phil: Wha-

Tommy: Sorry to break it to you, pal

Phil: I-

Phil: This child needs discipline

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Niki: Does Fundy is furry?

Fundy: I hate it here

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Tommy: How is your horse so quick? How do I boost my horse’s numbers?

Techno: Uhhh, you have to selectively breed them

Tommy: Ugh, you sound like every science teacher I’ve ever had

Techno: Your-

Techno: Your science teachers have been practicing eugenics?

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kachow

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“The voices demand blood, Phil.”

— technoblade, “it’s turtle time”