cavehunting
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side blog | 20s | she/hera đ to my current obsession
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âThis is my personal theory, but⌠thereâs no curse more twisted than love.â         Gojo Satoru â§ Jujutsu Kaisen 0
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YAMADA ASAEMON SHION đ§Ą
ĺ°ç漽 Ep. 08: Student and Master
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shion đ¤
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Good morning Vice Captain đ
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éŁăŽ.....ďźďźďźăďźăăăăăďźă
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like the sun.

pairing: gojo satoru + reader
summary: satoruâs presence reminds you of the sun. like helios, the sun god, you attributed.
warnings: kind of enemies to lovers? reader is a year older than gojo, angst (my fav :3), little cameo from geto. gojo is (secretly) so down bad, mention of violence, blood, and anything of those sorts. also set before getoâs defection.
word count: 7.2k
a/n: i am back from my writing slump! i was (very) burnt out from my last fic, but i think my spark is back :) iâve mentioned this kind of plot once or twice before, so i NEEDEDDD to write it out to satisfy my head <333 hope you lovelies enjoy!
i. blaze.
thereâs a peculiar thing about heat.
summer sun is nearly unbearable, and yet youâre tempted to stay under itâs scorching glare longer. an enigma, because, in all honestly, your body felt like it could give out in any moment. the white cotton shirt was rather suffocating. itâs too close to skin, battling the weather for a more overwhelming presence. unnatural and stiff, arms raise, and itâs only with the most futile attempt that you stretch out sore limbs while simultaneously trying to catch your breath.
slight relief is given with small gusts of refreshing wind. limited by itâs lack of strength, but it does itâs purpose in cooling you off. morning training was preferable. it was less brutal â and more importantly, it saved you the trouble of having to spar with an immortal. he never woke up early enough.
an immortal, jokingly, because youâve never been able to land a meaningful hit on him.
âwhereâd you get that?â
your arms pause, stilling from their position above your head. heâd granted you a small break. âgenerously,â as he had put it. after two hours of exerting yourself, youâd grown to become indifferent to the absence of fatigue on his face.
a finger is pointed towards your side, eyes blue and curious, gaze almost as blunt as his tone. the slightest exposure of skin is shown, shirt lifted from your previous movements, and his eyes remained fixed upon you. expression unreadable, a smile oddly lacking. it makes you a little self-conscious, and you reach to pull the fabric back down.
âscar.â you dryly answer, resorting to turning away, contorting your back to hear a small âcrack!â
blue still penetrates you. it watches, carefully.
âlooked pretty big.â
you bite your cheek, sparing him a side glance.
âitâs old.â
he doesnât miss a beat. he never really does.
âhow old?â
a small huff escapes your dehydrated lips, and your brows furrow.
âgot it last year.â
before you knew him, to be clearer. youâd elaborate, make it known, but your chest stings of exhaustion, and the sun is, again, too hot.
truthfully, your response fails to provide satoru with satisfaction, and you can tell that heâs got a few more questions (or a million) to ask. but he keeps his mouth shut, and nods in simple understanding. you only watch as he straightens his posture, and a smile â notably, grazing his lips with some strange hesitation â shows up once more.
âbreakâs over.â
â˘â˘â˘
youâre introduced to gojo satoru during your second year at jujustu high. it was like a chunk of the literal sun (something youâd reiterated was so distasteful and unpleasant to be under, yet strangely captivating) had been taken and left on earth, blazing with desire, and legitimately brighter than everything else around it. like helios, you attributed. a sun god.
an anomaly in your vision, only a few doors down from you.
he was unbearable.
if arrogance could conjure itself into a person â if all the annoyance in the world could simultaneously join at once â itâd create him. the product of too many bad things.
and of course, youâd expected his arrival. it felt like the only subject of your entire first year â the legend, the âhonoredâ one. for him to attend your school grounds the following semester, and to truly give the universe a glimpse into his true power.
because what was he really capable of?
âagain, too slow.â
youâd come to accept an unfortunate feat of failure.
swept off your feet by nothing but air (and a forceful kick), gravity pulls you back down, and you hiss as your back hits the floor. your head almost collides with it, but a nudge to your side reminds you to keep it lifted. in retrospect, itâs thoughtful, but you nearly glare.
you can feel where youâll be sore tomorrow. it stings just a little too much for comfort, and your teeth clamp down on your bottom lip to suppress the ache.
a body so regularly bruised, youâre surprised the injuries themselves havenât come to life and begged you to stop moving.
satoru stands above you, a white collared long-sleeve accentuating his pale features. linen, almost. itâs a bit see-through, and it shines nicely through the rays behind him. his darkly tinted glasses rest upon his face. they sit a little below his nose.
blue peeks out.
âgod, yaga wasnât kidding.â
he sounds almost bored. with the privilege of being so careless, so relaxed and expectant, he raises a brow at your silence and nudges you once more.
itâs quietly humiliating. a cycle that continues, until youâve had enough and choose to end the embarrassment. satoruâs pliant, always awaiting your call. because, simply, he can do that.
slowly, you blink, looking up to meet his partially covered eyes.
they used to scare you. not from intimidation or general nerves, but because they were vibrant. deeper than oceanâs water, a shade unlike anything humane. it puts a greater boarder in between the two of you. a stronger picket fence.
you know that if you ask, you wonât like the answer. but the pitying, mocking smile satoru has is getting under your skin, so you breathe a small, âwhat?â
satoruâs smug.
you watch as he whistles and looks off to the side, temporarily ignoring you.
and then, he shrugs nonchalantly.
ânothing.â
your eyes narrow. you can feel your annoyance bubbling, and it threatens to tip over, but you shake your head in retaliation.
âokay.â
itâs a trap, you know itâs a trap, because satoruâs head perks up, and he looks at you questionably.
âyou donât want to know?â
your eyes roll, so severely you momentarily feel a little twinge of pain.
âno, iâm good.â
and you ignore his out-reached hand, getting off the floor by yourself.
youâre tired.
itâs well past noon. another afternoon of seemingly pointless training because suguru and shoko had been out on a mission, leaving you alone once more with the embodiment of your nightmares.
you were tempted to complain to yaga, but knowing his twisted ways of teaching, itâd probably only land you more time with him.
unfair.
ânot even a little curious?â
ignoring him was difficult. youâve become too accustomed with sarcasm, and itâs sickly rewarding to see his face fall to pieces, because heâs everything and perfect. infuriatingly so.
âno, leave me alone.â your voice holds some annoyance now, and youâre still hearing his footsteps behind yours as you make your way inside the dormitories.
itâs like clockwork. so expected, you canât find it in you to tell satoru to actually leave.
heâs never listened to you anyways.
upon reaching your door, you slowly let yourself in, and are unable to act surprised when you fail to hear it shut behind you. you can already picture the sight of his foot nudged in between the crack. you pay no mind, placing your weapon against the wall, and are forced to take a seat at your desk because of the unwelcomed guest who, suddenly, lays on your bed. like usual. peering up at you, a boyish smile illuminating such delicate features.
âwhatâs on todayâs agenda?â
he speaks like that pretty often.
insinuating a we, us, our â as if the two of you are halves that make a whole, and are practically inseparable despite your clear discomfort. unwillingness, too.
âi,â you emphasize, glancing at him. âam going out.â
heâs pouting, you know before you even look at him again.
âwhere?â
you fiddle with the hem of your shirt, sighing softly. heâs like a baby duckling.
âi have a meeting with yaga, but heâs stuck at kyoto right now. iâm seeing him there.â
you watch as satoruâs head pokes up. for a sliver of time, he looks a little unsure, which is unlike his normal self, who speaks absentmindedly. and for that solid reason, you get the slightest ounce of concern. but you mask it, because heaven and earth both know the burden of his awareness.
âcanât be super important.â
your brow raises, and you scoff softly.
ânot sure yet.â
silence seems to bother satoru, youâve learned. he enjoys speaking, generally taking up time that isnât righteously his. itâs a habit, one clearly too strong to break. entitlement.
but he speaks because he loves the interaction.
(specifically, he loves talking to you.)
and satoru isnât stupid â heâs far from it. heâs able to read you well enough to know that heâs slightly wounded you. not too far from offense, though heâs able to see how fidgety you get as a result. he needs to learn how to shut up.
âi noticed you were slower today.â
spoken plainly. and youâre not looking at him when he says it, unable to spot the way he swallows thickly afterwards.
words spew out. thereâs not much to talk about, you reason. you repeat that a million times in your head, only opening your mouth to respond when youâre sure it wonât be mean. too rash, and youâre positive the conversation would go a different way.
you shrug, looking at the floor.
âi was tired.â
it feels like the wrong to say. and satoru quickly proves your gut right.
âyouâre always tired.â
his bluntness is weirdly shocking, which is the only reason why a small laugh escapes your lips. for a moment, youâre not sure how else to respond â what a sensible response would sound like. but youâre used to his antics, and itâs only a further reminder to keep your composure.
âwell, youâre not exactly easy competition.â
youâre speaking lightheartedly, a bit of humor hidden in your voice. and though you feel rather pitiful to be using his abilities as an excuse, you tell yourself itâs a genuine reason.
but satoru is aware. heâs more than aware. he breathes the fact like air itself, because itâs been shoved down his throat since before heâs been able to even understand it.
heâs aware.
âbut youâre not trying, either.â
at that, your body stills.
satoru isnât smiling with you. and heâs not teasing, you finally realize. heâs being serious. but satoru has never been mean. heâs conceited, yes, but mean? you wouldnât count his teasing as it, and heâs never gone farther than repetitive little jokes.
âwhat?â and you suppose youâre dumbfounded from disbelief, because your throat feels a little dry, and the forced smile on your face falls slightly. it twinges, unsure of how to read the situation.
âyouâre not trying, i said.â
âno, no, i heard you.â you wave a hand, words quiet as you cough awkwardly. âi just⌠wasnât expecting that.â
you feel a little dramatic. the tips of your ears burn, and embarrassment lingers across your skin. the floor is suddenly the most interesting thing in the room, and you wonder if heâs aware of the heightened effect those words sound coming from him. youâre uncomfortable.
âsomeone had to tell you eventually.â and this time satoru is the one who shrugs, peacefully laying back against your pillows as if heâd done something dutiful â like he was worthy of some sort of praise. âitâs noticeable.â
heâs never managed to leave you at a loss words. youâre normally quick with rebuttals, regularly despising the thought of him thinking heâs escaped bickering with you as a victor.
so your silence feels daunting, and youâre both equally as aware of itâs significance.
satoru jumps over your picket fence sometimes. as if breaking a fourth wall into your mind, and latching on to something more sour and unkept. he brings out emotions that are more real, and his honesty bruises your insides until they feel as sore as your own physical body. itâs daunting, and another testament of his uniqueness.
âthanks.â you finally mutter, awkwardly looking to the side to avoid his overall perception. âiâll keep that in mind for next time.â
satoru is like a brick wall. or, realistically, just some form of indestructible material. that fact alone should push you towards improvement. it should be a motivator. but when you train alongside him (albeit, rarely), youâre reminded of your naiveness from a mere year ago.
expectations should be kept low at all costs. it makes disappointment easier. jujustu brought upon the worst scenarios, and youâve slowly learned to not grow attachments, or be too positive. because thatâs what truly kills.
but, satoru. meeting satoru was like a fresh breath of air. everything about him was true, and even then he superseded his initial description. heâs more careless with his desires, nonchalant about limits. indulging in advice wasnât him. he simply didnât do it, taking his own word against others.
the dorm bed creaks, and you watch as he leisurely stands up, casual and quiet.
âwell, just so you know,â his fingers tap against the door frame, and he lets himself back in, just by a tiny bit.
he pauses. hesitant again.
but this time, his voice comes out a bit louder. confidence declared. and youâre unaware that the tone is somewhat forced.
âyaga said youâre pretty weak. told me and suguru to go easy on you while sparing.â
the door shuts behind him.
â˘â˘â˘
ii. taunt.
during the first week of your third year, a mission is assigned to you by jujustu tech.
well â not assigned, per say, but dutifully given.
by your compliance, and your raised hand in yagaâs office.
âiâll take it.â
itâs immediate, and you ignore the stares from around the room. you donât falter, looking to yaga expectantly. heâs a stern man. difficult to read, but easy to understand. he acts with logic, and is genuinely a respectable teacher at heart.
and yet you figure that heâs some form of evil, because he looks up from his paperwork, and replies with, âsatoru will accompany you.â
as if he didnât need to think twice, and the sound of your voice was enough to cement the decision.
your eyes narrow distastefully, though you donât verbalize your exasperation. the subject of the matter is beside you, and you can feel that heâs watching your expression, but when yaga hands you both individual papers, any words heâs tempted to say die down. youâre sure youâve made your feelings clear.
itâs another ten minutes of boring, long reminders before all of you are excused, and youâre sure your feet have never been quicker as you attempt to escape the mere vicinity of the room. your shoes click against the floor, and you feel others right behind you. irritatingly familiar.
âwoah, woah, woah, slow down!â
an arm throws itself over your shoulders, and itâs difficult to not buckle under the sudden weight, a groan leaving you as you push back slightly.
the past year had only provided him with more confidence, and a stronger need to bother you at all times.
âfirst mission together!â satoru grins, waving his paper in your face gleefully. the excitement is obviously one-sided, but that seems to only fuel his amusement more.
your eyes shut tightly, and you sigh.
âaâŚâ satoru ignores you, eyes scanning his paper, humming softly before a dramatic gasp leaves his lips. he leans into you a bit more. âgrade one! that should be fun.â
and suddenly, his addition makes sense.
in jujustu ranking, you were still considered a grade two sorcerer. satoru soars higher, like he always has, and had surpassed you mere weeks after his initial arrival. expected, but still a little irrationally irritating.
âjust leave it to me.â he waves his free hand thatâs still over your shoulder. âiâm probably better fit to fight against it anyway.â
you wonder how much trouble youâd get into if you hit him in the face. youâve thought about it more times than you could count. in present, itâs a near losing battle, and you only relent because he lets go of you at just the right moment.
realistically, itâd be nice of satoru to be more considerate. you disliked the passive aggressive comments, and canât seem to understand why heâs always made them when youâve never said or done anything to earn the taunting quips.
itâs his humor, youâve heard, though it never feels as degrading when itâs directed at someone else.
youâve tried your hardest to tolerate satoru over the past year, after realizing it was futile to be completely friendly. but you suppose he holds up his own barrier at times. youâre only given the leisure of peeking over, never getting the will to jump across. thatâs another skill only he has mastered.
âmeet here at nine tomorrow.â he smiles, carefree as he stops in front of you, halting your path. he pays no mind to your raised brow and crossed arms, adjusting his glasses so they sit higher on his face. âthen we can leave, and hopefully weâll be back pretty early.â
confused and still irritated, you shake your head in confusion.
âwouldnât we be back early if we just⌠left earlier?â
satoruâs face sours, and a clear glimpse of his adolescent mind shows through when he shakes his head.
ânah.â
you donât have the energy to argue over how idiotic he sounds, so you nod in agreement, and rub your temples deeply. it would be a long day, youâre sure, but nothing new his antics havenât already trained you for.
ânoon, then.â you mutter, taking one last look at him.
the air feels a little tense.
you nearly bite your tongue, debating on letting some additional comments fly out. but watching his demeanor (the pure nonchalance) frustrates you, and your eyes narrow.
âyou know, i could probably take it on too. by myself.â
satoru stills.
it had been bubbling in your head since youâd left yagaâs office. clearly, as satoru notices the lack of regret on your face. itâs spoken like fact.
if it had been utahime beside him, saying those exact words, he thinks he mightâve laughed.
but in your case, it just feels different.
âwell,â he pauses, and you know that youâve truly caught him off-guard. his eyes trail over your face, and he almost expects you to cower a bit. it never comes. heâs shaking his head, shaking his thoughts, and his eyes find your again, voice softer. âitâs a two-person mission. so, tough luck.â
his smile returns. as if uninterrupted, and ânormal.â
satoru has a habit of suppressing his thoughts.
your eyes roll, ignorant to his inner conflict, and you ask â when will he take you seriously?
privileged in every aspect, and not one ounce humble. but really, he could do whatever he pleases. the world canât stop him.
satoru shines brightly at you, blinding nearly. helios must be jealous.
â˘â˘â˘
âheâs a lot to handle.â
it smells like smoke. bothersome to your worsening headache, but the open window is the only thing keeping your senses at bay.
shokoâs a bad influence, youâve learned. ashes are regularly spotted on school grounds, the culprit being nearly the same every time. but sheâd roped another into her habits, so pinning the blame was harder to do.
your eyes follow the cigarette in suguruâs hand as he exhales once more.
âyou think?â it comes off as more bitter than sarcastic, and youâre annoyingly aware of the small smile that appears on his face. gray clouds around him momentarily, sculpting sharper eyes as they narrow in amusement.
âwhat did he tell you?â
you blink, tilting your head in confusion, silently asking for some clarification. suguruâs eyebrows raise, and he snickers.
âhe said something to piss you off. what was it?â
you werenât sure what the impression would be when you knocked on his door an hour ago. you werenât even sure why you did it.
maybe it was because suguru was easy to talk to. a good listener, most definitely. and though heâs assumably been a cog in your self-depreciation, you canât bring yourself to be upset at him too.
âum,â you pause. it weirdly bothers you that heâs right. that heâs able to read exactly whatâs wrong, because either he knows you or satoru too well, or itâs both.
suguru stares, patiently. and there is no implication on his face that reads a, âknew it.â he just simply awaits your words.
heâs a gentle soul, coaxing out fragile insides.
âwell,â you breathe, rubbing your hands over your knees. it was aggravating, the small sense of discomfort you felt while reliving words that really shouldnât matter as much as they do. it briefly holds your tongue, and you feel silly for making it this big of a deal in your head. suguru isnât judgemental though, and you know that. itâs the only reason why telling him doesnât feel like a bad thing.
âhe basically said that yaga thinks iâm⌠weak.â
the silence that takes over the room is a little daunting, and throws away all confidence you had with suguru out the smoke-ridden window.
you wait for a laugh, a grimace â anything. but nothing every really comes. itâs only a huff of acknowledgement.
âah.â
no surprise, no disdainful reaction. his smile stays intact.
youâd argue that suguru carried more wisdom than youâd ever be able to acquire. beyond his own years, it seemed. it was something about his aura, or just the way he carried himself. strangely, inhumanly graceful.
he looks to you, and thereâs a glint in his eye that tells you something is aloof.
âwhat?â you impatiently ask, brows furrowing. his lack of response had begun to bother you, nerves etching across your bones.
another long puff causes you to turn your face away from him entirely, and you wince as the smell of smoke momentarily intensifies. it escapes out the window (once more) with the added effort of your ushering hands. suguru watches you for a bit, laughing a little, though ultimately sighs with a soft snicker.
âyaga never said that.â
for a second, you think that the lack of clean air has tainted your brain, and that youâve misheard him.
the information settles in the air for a while. lingering, up until youâve found a proper way to deal with it.
âseriously?â
the look on your face makes suguru want to laugh again, but he merely nods, sitting a bit straighter in his chair.
âyup.â
you have questions â a majority you know that suguru canât really answer, so you minimize them into the broadest form, sighing softly, a little defeatedly.
âwhy would he say that, then?â
suguru hums, lifting a finger to his chin as he shrugs. âhe mightâve thought it would push you more.â
your eyes narrow, and you click your tongue in annoyance. âthatâs stupid.â
your cheeks warm a little as you register suguru leaning in, a sly smile on his face, his eyes shining with a bit of mischief.
âwell, it bothered you, didnât it?â
now, that felt kinda humiliating to admit. and youâre sure your face gives your thoughts away, so you nod, an easy admission.
âyeah.â you breathe, sighing. âit did.â
what you want to say, is that it bothered you that satoru said it.
his opinion, frustratingly, was something you heavily valued. no matter how many times heâs belittled you, or been generally arrogant. you stupidly seek his sunlight, his approval, and wish to always be under his rays.
âokay.â he raises his brows, staring. âthen show him on your mission tomorrow. donât let him interfere, and kick some ass by yourself.â
your eyes widen, barely, but suguru notices, and purses his lips. in comparison to each other, youâve always found suguru to be the more sensible one. he prioritized rules, only really breaking them if satoru begged him to.
âyou have more experience now.â and heâs unable to hide his wandering eyes as they find the hem of your shirt, as if perfectly picturing the damaged skin underneath. youâd opened up about the scar a few months ago, the first yearâs backing you into a corner. satoru had been the most adamant to know. âitâll be different.â
you donât give much of an answer, a simple nod conveying your inner-conflict.
suguru watches, your eyes squinting in confusion as you shake your head. you utter your next question, and he has to hide his amusement.
âwhy does satoru dislike me so much? what did i ever do to him?â
suguru thinks you and satoru are intelligent in your own ways.
and then, at times like these, he believes heâs never met two people so incredibly dense.
silence, and an all-knowing smile is the only answer you receive.
â˘â˘â˘
it could be wrong. it is wrong. dangerous, deviant, and stupid.
but despite all these bad thoughts, youâre still quietly shutting the door to your dorm room. meticulously cautious, all in hopes to successfully escape a wrath imaginably worth ten thousand.
suguru didnât mean this, youâre sure.
itâs immature, youâre aware, to head out on your own. youâre stuck imagining possible outcomes, and all the punishments that await you when you return. and yet once more, you thank the heavens, all gods that can hear, for satoruâs inability to wake up early.
campus is pretty in the early hours. the sun not yet rising, and grounds only illuminated by small scattered lamps. itâs peaceful, quiet from itâs usual bickering of your underclassmen. a moment of tranquility before the storm.
proof is what the world will get. itâs the objective of your heartâs own mission, regardless of whether or not it was a rational thing to do.
(it was most definitely not.)
to be strong is to understand weakness. and youâll only let your emotions sway you as vulnerable. but youâre equally as aware that might just be your demise.
paper crinkles in your hands.
the report is relatively detailed. a street name is in thick black ink, and itâs hard to miss the red stamp labeling the file, âgrade one.â
a breeze. âfun,â like satoru had put it.
the mind is fragile. nerves send it in a frenzy, and you suppose affirmations are the only way that you can attempt to keep your heart from racing. itâs guilt, also.
heâs probably still asleep in bed. laid beside pillows that you know are too ridiculously soft, and having a single alarm on his phone because youâre aware that he is generally a light sleeper. but satoru needed to see you differently. a better perception â a kaleidoscope of mystery. because, unfortunately, some hint of acknowledgement from a god keeps mere mortals standing.
it takes almost an hour to finally set your eyes on the street, and when they do, you begin to second-guess your flawed plan.
from exact numbers and location, a warehouse is where you end up. battered, and clearly worn down. a perfect spot for a curse in hiding.
though if satoru was here, he would have laughed.
the cursed energy emitting from the building is unmistakable. itâs strong, and it involuntarily speeds up your already-abnormal heart rate. hiding is plain stupid if itâs energy is that obvious. but itâs also still dark out. you doubt the building even has electricity, though dawn seemed to be rather close. you could hold off until then.
you stand outside for longer than you wish. reality seems to dawn upon you at that moment, and itâs there that you realize youâre truly too stubborn to walk away. youâd go through with it, no matter what would happen now.
and as youâre walking, it feels like your body isnât controlling itself. thereâs a heightened fear striking all your senses, and youâve completely submitted to instinct, not trusting your mess of thoughts. you pray for a little forgiveness, a little mercy, and head inside.
itâs bare.
with the exception of broken plywood and fallen beams, itâs nearly vacant.
the doors you enter through are flimsy, and whether it be your mind in a frenzy, or an attempt to postpone time for as long as possible, you quickly barricade them with the pieces of discarded wood. at the very least, itâd prevent any chances of normal civilians from entering.
every bit of cursed energy seems to draw you towards the opposite end of the building.
and thereâs not much you can do when materialized arrows welcome themselves into your vision, a quick dodge being your eyesâ only savior.
âfuck.â you breathe, swallowing thickly. youâre scared shitless, anxiety hardly alleviated by the close call. a hand rummages to the sheath connected to your waist, and you close your eyes tightly, counting yourself down from initiating your first strike.
âokay, okay, okay.â
your weapon unveils itself.
â˘â˘â˘
iii. glory in the sunâs rays.
heavy breaths are the only sound echoing across distant walls.
but besides that,
serenity.
itâs quiet.
like particles, hope sprinkles in, and the curse in front of your eyes disperses â successfully exorsized.
in that moment, you truly believe there is no better sight. nothing that can possibly grant that level of satisfaction.
your mouth tastes a little like metal. itâs bitter, and you suppress a wince, too relieved to really feel an ounce of worry.
thereâs broken panels from all around. holes in the walls, gaps in the ceilings, and you wonder how you even managed to reach such high places â especially given the state that youâre in.
and despite your contentment, your body sends itself into a momentary coughing fit.
something stings â it hurts bad, but loud footsteps, running, running, running, echo on the other side of the barricaded doors, and the wooden panels wedged in between the handles are broken, timbered pieces thinly scattered across the floor.
both doors fly open.
itâs a vague sense you have. the ability to feel him.
youâve learned it well over the past year.
satoruâs cursed energy is unique. it creeps up on you, until thereâs a realization that the only thing you can feel is him. situating himself as something important, far more attention-worthy than your own being. itâs suffocating.
you meet each otherâs eyes.
he seems to be breathing nearly as heavily as you are. eyes blown out, a hint of something feral in his irises. youâre stagnant, reciprocating the attention.
âtold you.â you swallow thickly, a proud, fatigued smile on your face as you look at him.
itâs still quiet in the building. satoru stands a few feet ahead of you.
he looks disarrayed.
âi fucking did it, you idiot.â
clothes somewhat torn, hair slightly disheveled, you stand.
something was blooming. pride? an accomplishment of the unthinkable â proving a god wrong. going against all odds. but every sense, every feeling, dwindles as you finally muster up the attention to fully take satoru in. itâs more difficult to focus.
satoru looks strange, you think. eyes wide, face visibly more pale than usual. and heâs quiet, for once in his life.
itâs unpleasant, and you feel your body recoil a bit, physically tensing.
âwhatââ you breathe heavy, eyes lidded as they look up to his. everything is kind of loud, including his stare. heâs crafted in white shimmer from your vision, and itâs easy to spot the uncharacteristic worry in his eyes. âwhatâs up with you?â
and for the first time since youâve known him, gojo satoru seems small. though only differentiated by a mere year, youâre able to see that small spec of time fall upon his graceful features. like admiration crumbling, and a heavy heart dying.
gods shouldnât fear things.
itâs shock, satoru thinks. itâs why he doesnât immediately move, and why the walls around him seem to shrink.
heâs never been in such a state. every feeling foreign, and he thinks he might be sick for a second.
his hands are shaking, and heâs focused on red. a naturalistic color thatâs been too heavily branded in his life, it feels wrong to not be indifferent about it. he should be accustomed to it, for those weaker have the misfortune of having it easily taint their skin. but gojo satoru is not heartless. (though in that moment, thatâs all he wishes to be.)
your shirt is ripped from the bottom.
thereâs a deep, grotesque wound that covers your lower stomach. the gash follows upwards, nearly identical to the scar heâd seen upon his first few months of knowing you. satoru had later learned that it was from your first mission alongside mei mei. youâd been separated from each other for a second too long, and itâd landed you with a permanent reminder of your lost adolescence. your devotion and commitment to the jujustu world, left on your skin forever.
open, again, as satoru watches the blood flow down your side. a gory sight, and when your eyes begin to slow in their blinking, a switch seems to turn itself on in his head.
âno, no, hey-â and heâs rushing forward, catching you a mere second before you fall. gentle, anxious hands cradle and guide, up until your body is on the floor, and those same hands are pressed excruciatingly harshly against your abdomen. âkeepâshit, keep your eyes open.â
satoru thinks he feels his heart die. if life is real, surely it had just shriveled into nothingness. because as soon as he applies pressure to the gaping wound, youâre frightened, crying out and weakly attempting to push away his unrelenting arms.
âfuck, stop-â youâre wheezing, too pain-stricken to utter any other thought. a sliver of that unruly color trickles down the side of your mouth, and satoru believes heâs never felt emotion, panic, this intense.
his brain fogs, fuzzy and disconnected as he blinks rapidly, his breath palpitating as he reaches for his phone. his hand is ruined in the color of your state, coated fingers dialing at an inhumane speed.
satoru doesnât register shokoâs voice. heâs repeating the same thing over and over again, for help, because heâs utterly useless for you. broken in repetition, emotions being indescribably shaken.
the blood in your mouth tastes more bitter than before. to see him hysterical felt wrong. satoru had always been something stable for the world to lean on. the universal rock, who would never dwindle. the task that comes with the title, âthe strongestâ replacing his own personal persona.
and, you think again, expectations should really be kept low at all costs.
your eyes threaten to unfocus, trembling lightly as they try to stay open. satoruâs stomach drops, and heâs immediately shaking you gently, reminding you that âyouâll be fine, just look at me.â
heâs far too tense to be humorous. the wit has locked itself in a cage, and he takes in the reality of being realistic.
gojo satoru cannot deny his six eyes.
it looks fatal.
but despite your state, thereâs charm in your weak, scarily optimistic demeanor.
âsatoru?â
his eyes snap to yours.
heâs too selfish to shut you up, body yearning to hear your voice, no matter how defeatedly tired it sounds. itâs a little hoarse, and thereâs no doubt in his mind that fatigue had stolen your energy to speak any louder. but he supposes heâd hear you even if he was buried underground.
youâre looking up to him like nothing is amiss. innocence sparkles the tiniest bit in your hazed vision.
thereâs a tiny ghost of a smile that lingers on your stained lips. a wince plagues your expression shortly after, a curse and stuttered breath leaving you as satoruâs hands abruptly shift.
âowâow. be g-gentler since iâm fucking dying, satoru.â
satoru wants to hit you over the head, your labored breaths squeezing his very soul. heâs visibly tempted, and itâs only with the sight of extra glimmer in his eyes that your face falls slightly.
you want him to make a joke. you crave it. any form of banter, you silently plead.
but unbeknownst to you, satoru feels almost angry. how are you this calm? have you accepted something that he doesnât want to verbalize? what could possibly be amusing about this?
âshut up. shut up, please.â
weak, and fragile, his voice nearly breaks. you watch him for a bit, eyes curious as they study. and though your vision is blurry, and you can feel yourself getting progressively lightheaded, you tap him gently.
youâre at fault. youâre conscious enough to remember that.
ââs gonna be okay.â the words come out a little slurred, but still understandable. you attempt another insistent smile, a hand raising to wrap around the wrist plastered against you. ânot dying, was just kidding.â
satoru isnât used to being watched so intently. your gaze is intimidating despite your lowered eyelids, and you silently map out every curve and inch of his complexion. (just in case.)
itâs an odd predicament. for a few minutes, you expect the world to go dark, and for your words to end up being meaningless as death takes you by itâs hand. satoruâs voice sounds distant, scarily far, but youâre able to make out a few whispered pleas. vulnerability is something beautiful, you decide.
it gets harder to listen, and you get a greater urge to rest. maybe for a millennia. your soul feels drained, and a long, uninterrupted sleep is the only thing your brain allows you to register. satoru fades when the world does.
â˘â˘â˘
âit was dumb.â
âthatâs known. why say it again?â
âbecause it was dumb.â
you know that life has been lenient, allowing you to continue, as it welcomes you back with familiar voices. you donât alert them of your awoken state until you feel confident that theyâre real.
itâs with a glance that youâre revealed, and the gasp of one makes it known to the other.
satoru is still tempted to hit you. but, he settles with a small wack on your resting hand. you wince, glaring as you blink away your exhaustion. you kinda feel like the rest of your body is on fire.
heâs upset, clearly. watching you with careful vision, and completely silent. but all youâre thinking is how thankful you are to have him actually care.
he keeps his distance.
âyou got lucky.â
suguru speaks up, staring, and you can only describe his expression as both relief and disappointment. his eyes trail across you, and youâre made aware that your body is covered amongst thin medical sheets. when he meets your eyes again, one look is enough to tell you of his silent order not to lift them. you follow through, because the mere thought of it is unappealing enough.
âiâll give you guys some privacy.â he mutters, not without shaking his head, and sighing. itâs nerve-wracking, his demeanor overpowering but oddly tame. just before leaves, he looks at you once more, pursing his lips. his grip on the door is tight. âiâm glad youâre okay, though.â
the air is tense. you beg the world, to anything obtainable, to postpone suguruâs exit, but the sound of the door closing after him leaves your pleas unheard.
you count seconds silently.
it takes ten for satoru to break.
âdid you get stupid overnight?â
you snort, tossing your head back in slight retaliation, knowing satoru would probably worsen the headache you can already feel forming.
âseriously, answer me.â
youâre weak to his sternness, blinking in surprise at his tone. heâs unrelenting, brows furrowed as he awaits your response. you look to the wall.
âiâm alive, arenât i?â you hesitantly reply, a futile attempt to ease the discomfort that is clearly present. it only lands you a scoff, and satoru abruptly stands up, crossing his arms as he looks down at you.
itâs not his favorite sight in the world. thereâs a bandage around your head, lightly stained, and heâd seen the state of your injuries before shoko had ultimately pulled the blanket over you.
considering what could have been, heâs more than grateful. but satoru has trouble expressing himself, and itâs a type of flaw that canât be easily fixed with training.
he shuts his eyes, briefly, and exhales.
âi thought you were a goner.â
upon you losing consciousness, shoko had arrived a mere minute later. satoru thinks the look on her face will be branded into his memory for life â solemn, pitying, and definite. it was only with the help of denial that he had moved with urgency, and commands were thrown at shoko to keep you stable enough for transportation.
a surgery later, and it was told that you would live.
âfelt like it.â you cringe, recounting the initial level of pain you had endured when satoru had first found you. itâs subsided for the most part now, though you hold a lingering fear to move, worried that itâd cause more harm than good. the flames of discomfort were decently bearable.
itâs unfortunate that youâre bedridden, for if it were up to you, the easiest solution to all your problems would be to leave the room all together.
satoru is a different person when upset. his presence is overwhelming, and you quickly learn that it is impossible to avoid him.
âi justâŚâ satoru exhales, and thereâs a clear conflict of contemplation when he shakes his head. âwhy would you do that?â
you almost want to poke his side, chastising his concern with a teasing smile and small laugh. but itâs painfully obvious that the last thing satoru wants is something embedded with humor, so you purse your lips, and shrug.
âi just needed to prove to myself that i was capable of defeating it. that i wasnât useless â you know?â
thereâs something youâre not saying; information that remains a mystery. satoru knows it. he can tell by the look on your face.
heâd deciphered the little secret piece the moment you had begun to look away from him.
but because satoru cares (in his own, strange way), he doesnât bring it up. guilt somewhat gnaws on his insides, and he takes the opportunity to vaguely apologize, needing at least that in the air.
âyou are capable. i knew that before all of⌠this.â satoru motions to you briefly, and despite the circumstances, his wince makes you want to snicker.
he watches your expression softly morph, and a more relaxed and delighted smile rests upon your lips. and he debates, for a while, because ultimately it feels wrong not to bring it up. he falls victim to his guilt.
âand, sorry for lying. suguru told me he told you.â
you nod gently, breathing out a heavy sigh. âkinda evil, satoru.â
in an instant, his eyes widen, and heâs waving his hands wildly.
âheyâhey! i only said it so it could push you more. you canât work towards improvement without some motivation.â
âhow would that motivate me?â
âpersonally, it would push me to change yagaâs opinion-â
âno, it made me feel like shit, actually.â
âokay, well, i didnât consider that when i told you-â
âbecause youâre an idiot.â
almost comically, satoruâs mouth drops.
âwhoâs the one that fought a first grade by themselves?â
âwell, i defeated it, soâŚâ
ânot the point.â
youâre smiling, a laugh escaping your lips. satoru doesnât mirror you much, a more playfully annoyed look on his face.
you stare at each other for a second too long, before you feverishly look away.
the pain has calmed, you realize. you canât really feel the ache at all.
for a moment, youâre reminded of suguruâs expression. that knowing look in his eyes.
you turn back to look at satoru. and you can feel your heart speed up, just a little, because realization dawns upon you, and you can feel yourself growing flustered.
you think you know what he was trying to say.
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taking care â wind breaker, aged up sakura haruka x f!reader, established relationship, "brat" as a petname, smut towards the end, 4.4k words

"Aren't you too old for this?"
Sakura Haruka grimaces and shoves his bruised hands into his pockets. You raise an unimpressed eyebrow. There's dirt smudged along his cheekbone and the end of his sleeve is ripped.
"They were tryin' to hit on a girl." It comes out mumbled. Haruka's two toned gaze is averted to the top of your head. It was always difficult to get him to meet your eye in your high school years, but ever since he hit his growth spurt and graduated you feel like it's gotten worse.
"Haruka-kun," you sigh, "c'mere."
You grab his arm and tug, taking advantage of his brief moment of surprise to drag him into the back of the bakery. Your coworkers wave and smile at the former school captain but otherwise leave the two of you alone.
"Y-youâŚ! What're you doing?"
The back office of Saboten is neat and clean and thankfully empty. You shove Haruka into a chair and grab his chin, ignoring the flare of heat beneath your fingers as he turns bright red.
"Did you get hit on the face?" you ask, leaning closer to look. The dirt smudging his cheek is loose, brushing away easily when you stroke the smooth skin there. You probe gently at the strong bone beneath and ignore the way his chest seizes with a held breath.
"No," he mumbles, "it's just dirt."
Your attention is drawn â as always â to his eyes. A muted, stormy gray blue and a bright, shimmering gold meet your unabashed gaze as your thumb strokes along his cheekbone again.
"I'm glad you didn't get hurt." You allow yourself a tiny grin as he scrunches his nose at you. "You could've let the new Bofurin kids handle it⌠but those guys will definitely think twice about messing with anyone from our neighborhood now."
"'Course," Haruka sniffs. You wonder if he knows he's leaning into your palm. "It was a quick fight, anyway. Only losers are late."
"I told you, you don't have to pick me up from work. I can handle myself." You giggle as he scoffs. You slide into a crouch, propping up your elbows on his knees for balance. "Give me your hands, Haruka-kun."
Your boyfriend hesitates for a short moment before releasing a breath. His hands are rough, but he flips them over obligingly and doesn't flinch when you curl your fingers around his wrists. "You've bruised your knuckles again," you tsk. "I'll go grab the first aid kit."
"W-wait." Haruka's entire face is charmingly pink, the gentle hue sweeping along his cheeks and up to the tips of his ears. "You don't⌠I mean, I don't need you to â"
"I know," you hum, tugging his hands up to brush a gentle kiss along his skin. "But I want to."
Haruka stays quiet as you fetch the first aid kit and get to work disinfecting the tiny cuts on his hands. You're used to the comfortable silence, basking in the familiarity of tending to his battle wounds in the back of the bakery where you first met.
You never would've guessed that part of your job duties at the bakery would include taking care of the new out-of-towner all those years ago, though it wasn't like he went along with it quietly. Your boss at the time was adamant that the Bofurin boys deserved all the freebies the bakery could afford to give, and she never minded when you'd pop off to the back alley to administer first aid.
Nirei was the one who knew you were handy with a medical kit, but it was Suo who eventually tricked their first year captain into coming to you. Haruka was a lot pricklier back then, shying away from casual human contact like everyone was out to get him but diving into fights like nobody's business.
Luckily for you, in spite of his speed and reflexes, Haruka definitely wasn't used to girls who were willing to literally sit on him to force him to stay still for first aid. After enough times shoving freshly baked bread into his hands and making him into your first aid practice dummy, he started to show up outside the bakery's back door on his own, often looking like a disgruntled street cat.
Little by little, you learned which breads he preferred and you begged Kotoha to teach you how to make omurice the way Haruka liked it. Little by little, he stopped flinching away from your touch and even let you lean against him when you needed a short break from work or studying, propping your head up against his shoulder and staying still enough that sometimes you'd fall asleep.
Little by little, the two of you fell in love.
Haruka doesn't say anything as you finish smoothing the tape holding his new wrappings together, but he flips his hands to hold onto you as you rise from your knees. You smile. "Do you wanna get dinner at Cafe Pothos? Kotoha-chan might make fun of you, though."
"She'll make fun of me no matter what," he grumbles. You snicker as he ducks his head. From this angle, you can only see the pale white eyelashes of his left side pressing against his skin as he takes a deep breath. "Don'tcha need to finish your shift? I'll be outside."
"Aw, are you worried about me?"
"Shaddup" Haruka huffs. "As if I care."
You grin as he rises to his full height, still steadily avoiding eye contact as you squeeze his hands. After all these years, it's cute how flustered he still gets when you tease him. "Haruka-kun? You can let me go now."
"âŚCan't."
"Oh?" you raise an eyebrow and tilt your head to catch his eye. He scowls. "If you just loosen your fingersâ"
"Sh-shut up." You watch patiently as your boyfriend takes a deep breath. It's quiet in this back office, though a wall is shared with the employee locker room and you can hear a few of your coworkers laughing and chatting indistinctly. The smell of rising dough and freshly baked bread permeates the room, cut through with the sharp tang of antiseptic cream.
Haruka's ears are still red. You catch a glimpse of them through his black and white hair and squeeze his hands again. So cute. "Haruka," you say.
"âŚWhat?"
You rise up on tiptoes to kiss him, holding onto his hands for balance as you rock forward. Haruka predictably freezes before making a rough sound and kissing you back, letting you take the lead as you lean into him. His heartbeat jumps beneath your lips as you move to kiss at the soft spot below his jaw, earning another strangled noise that makes you smile into his skin.
It's warm. You think maybe your own ears are red enough to match his, but you don't give him a chance to notice, pressing another quick kiss to his lips and disentangling yourself. "I've gotta get back to work. I'll see you in a bit, 'kay?"
You leave him in the back office, knowing he'll find his way to the alleyway behind the bakery to wait for you, as always. Your coworkers don't mention how long you were missing, but you take over the mopping and cleaning duties as a thank you anyway.
Haruka doesn't take your hand when you meet him after your shift, but he walks close enough that your shoulders brush with every step. The gentle ringing of the wind chimes strung up below the shopping district sign follows the two of you on your walk towards home.
"What should we have for dinner, since you don't wanna endure Kotoha's teasing?" you ask, grinning lopsidedly when Haruka snorts in response. The street lamps cast a glow along his black and white hair, haloing him in a light gold that pales in comparison to his golden eye.
He glances sideways at you as you pause at a crosswalk. You catch a flash of gold and blue before he faces forward again. "You're comin' over?"
"Yes, or else you'll eat instant noodles again and die of malnutrition," you say. The two of you step into the street, though he steps slightly ahead of you to make sure it's clear. "Unless you don't want me to."
"Let's have curry."
"Did you get ingredients for curry, mister?" you ask, bumping your shoulder into his arm teasingly. "Or will we need to stop by a konbini again for emergency supplies?"
"That was just one time," Haruka grumbles, but he glances back at you fondly as you laugh. "And I went shopping earlier, brat."
He lets you hold onto his sleeve as you enter his studio apartment and stays steady as you toe your shoes off in the genkan. The place is vastly improved from the first time you stepped foot in it all those years ago, when you were delivering food for a sick Haruka.
Gone are the creaky hinges and peeling paint â the walls are smooth and clean, the cabinet doors are all securely attached, and there are actual curtains hanging over the balcony doors. He still sleeps on a futon, but he also got a low table and cushions for guests after you complained about eating on top of cardboard boxes, and he got a dresser to store his clothing after you took him shopping so he'd stop wandering around town always wearing his high school uniform.
Making dinner is always fun, with Haruka, because even though he's grown and learned a lot, you still get to tease him about his bulk stack of instant noodle packages and he still turns bright red when you lean over the table to offer him a spoonful from your plate.
He's more relaxed here, more willing to close the gap between you when you reach out to him. It used to worry you in the beginning â would you always be the one to make the first move? Did he actually like you, or was he just going along with your flirting because he didn't know any better?
Then he does something like swiping his thumb along your lips and sticking the digit in his mouth, laughing at your surprised gasp and gathering up the dishes before you can form a coherent thought. He asks about your day and listens as you tell him about the cute little kid who came into the shop asking for curry bread because "that's Sakura-taicho's favorite, and I wanna be like him when I grow up!"
You bask happily in the furious blush that paints his skin, grinning to yourself as he stammers and jerks his face away.
"Did you get new towels?" you ask, handing him a soapy plate to rinse off. Your boyfriend takes it, huffing an amused snort when you yawn widely. It's nearing your bedtime, and your sated appetite is making you even sleepier.
"Yeah," Haruka says, "since you were complainin' last time that mine're scratchy."
"Oh, nice," you say, rinsing the suds off your hands and moving to stand behind him. You shove your face into his shoulder blades before he can move, wrapping your arms around his middle as he tenses beneath you. It's been ages since he was an active fighter defending the town, but you can still feel the power and strength of his densely packed muscles twitching under your hold. "Mm, I'm sleepyâŚ"
"Gwah! What are ya, an octopus?!" Haruka sets the clean plate on the drying rack and settles his hands on top of yours, but he doesn't move you. He could easily overpower you, though you're hugging him pretty firmly, pressing your entire body up against his as you take a deep breath. "The hell're you doin'?"
"Hugging you," you say. Haruka's fingers tighten around your wrists, but he still doesn't move you.
"I got that, genius."
"I'm just recharging before I have to head home," you mumble into his shirt. You're saving both of you from embarrassment, here, hugging him from behind like this, so really he should be grateful that you're so considerate of his feelings.
"It's late."
"I know," you whine, squeezing him just a little bit harder. "I don't wanna think about it."
"You have a toothbrush here."
Oh. "I don't have clothes here."
"You can borrow mine." Haruka stiffens even more as your hands clench the front of his shirt. "I-It's not like I'm tryna get you to stay over! It's just that it's late and you've gotta get up e-early tomorrow! I'm not some kinda pervert!"
You giggle into his back and nuzzle your forehead into the strong muscle there as he finally relaxes. "I'd be kinda upset if you didn't think about it a little bit, Haruka-kun. I am your girlfriend, after all."
Haruka lets out a huge sigh and moves to brace his hands on the counter. "You can take a bath first. Lemme go heat up the water."
"Are you trying to be a gentleman again?"
"Wuh â what're you talkin' about? I already told you I'm not a pervert!"
You laugh. "Last time you went to heat up the water for me, you didn't come out for a solid twenty minutes. I thought you passed out in there."
"That was just â I was just â!" Haruka hangs his head and you press your cheek against his back. You can feel his heartbeat pounding in double time. "I was tryin' to calm down."
"You don't have to, y'know," you say softly, patting at his firm chest with a sigh. "I wanna do it too."
Haruka chokes on his spit. Or at least, you think that's what happens, because he lapses into a coughing fit and gently pushes you towards the bathroom with a red face. He refuses to answer your concerned questions, only shoving a pair of shorts and a t-shirt into your arms before shutting the bathroom door on your amused face.
You shower and bathe on your own, humming a nonsensical tune as you lather up with his shampoo and body wash. It's a minor miracle and mostly a testament to your relationship that he has amenities at all, the clean smelling soaps clearly picked out with a thought towards your possible use of them. It makes your heart stutter in your chest when you notice that he's stocked your favorite brand of lotion on the counter and even left a clean face towel and headband for you to use while washing your face, as if he knew you'd need them eventually.
His clothes are a little too big on you, but you cinch the waistband of his shorts and hope for the best as you step out of the bathroom. Haruka is sitting stiffly at the low table, glaring down at his phone as the screen lights up with texts.
"Is everything okay?" you ask.
Haruka looks up and freezes. You pause in the act of adjusting his shirt on your shoulders, blinking at your boyfriend as he seems to go through five stages of something before he turns a bright cherry red and slams his eyes shut. You snort.
"You've seen me naked before, Haruka-kun."
"S-shaddup! T-that's different!"
You get on your knees in front of him and cup his face in your hands. Haruka doesn't flinch, but he cracks open one stormy blue eye like he's worried about what he might see. You roll your eyes at him. "Are you good? Why do you look so pissed at your phone?"
"Oh," Haruka blinks and glances sideways at the offending item. His face is warm in your hands. "The guys found out you're staying over."
"Are they giving you advice on how to get laid again?" you ask, giggling. "I love you, but please don't listen to Umemiya-san. I promise I don't get turned on by plant based pickup lines."
"I'm gonna shower!" Haruka stands abruptly and shuffles past you, but he pauses at the door. "You can read it, if ya want. The chat thread."
You raise an eyebrow and pick up his phone as he shuts the bathroom door behind him. A generic wallpaper greets you as you swipe it open, but you notice a star emoji next to your name in his message history, which makes you smile.
The chat thread with Haruka's former classmates is at the top, filling with more unread notifications as you watch. Scrolling through, you grin to yourself as the boys send teasing and shy stickers, interspersed with their own complaints of struggling to find partners for themselves and throwaway comments about "that lucky bastard Sakura" snagging "the cutest girl on Tonbu street".
"What're ya laughin' at?" You blink as Haruka crouches in front of you, a towel hanging around his neck. He's shirtless, and you watch with interest as a gentle pink flush deepens and spreads along his skin. "Quit starin'!"
"Y-you're the one who came out shirtless," you squeak, setting his phone aside and reaching out for him. Haruka chews on his lip but lets you touch him. "That's so unfair!"
You trail your hands down his bare sides and smile as he tries to suppress a shiver. Then you reach for his hands. "The first aid kit is here," Haruka says, stretching out to grab it from its shelf. The movement puts his hard muscles on full display, though you have a feeling it's unintentional. Regardless, you can't quite tear your eyes away from his chest and stomach, watching as the muscles of his abs flex when he returns to his crouch.
"You're so stupidly hot," you mutter, accepting the kit and snapping it open. "I can't believe you just walk around looking like this."
"H-huh?" Haruka's eyes widen in surprise. You grab his hands to keep him from running away, but he stays still as you reapply ointment and bandages to his knuckles.
"I know you find it hard to believe, since people used to give you shit about your looks, but you areâŚ" you pause and glance up at him, taking in his smooth skin, his beautiful gray blue and golden eyes, his fluffy black and white hair, "stupidly hot."
Your boyfriend sighs and places a hand on your hip. You set the first aid kit aside and grin up at his pleasantly pink face. "Can I kiss you?"
"Yes, please."
Haruka kisses you slowly, tentatively. It's a little precarious, leaning up as he crouches in front of you, so you drag him to the futon and pull him over you, tugging him close by the ends of his towel. "You're so warm," he mutters, shifting his weight on his elbows and doing his best to keep from crushing you.
You sigh into the next kiss, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him down, huffing a laugh when he grunts and smacks his hand against the floor in surprise. "You're so far from me, how can you even tell?" you tease.
"You're always warm," Haruka grumbles. He noses along your cheek, smiling against the smooth skin there as you giggle. "And soft."
"Are you callin' me weak?" you ask, tilting your head to kiss him again. He breaks the kiss with a pant, nipping at the exposed skin of your collar as your shirt shifts. "Ah â hey!"
Haruka groans, one of his hands going down to grip at the soft give of your waist, holding you still as he grinds down into the cradle of your thighs. You moan as his hard length drags against you, wiggling your hips into the friction as something pulses in your core. "I should've given you another shirt."
"A-another shirt? What's wrong with t-this one?" You gasp as he rolls his hips again, arching into the touch as his free hand slips beneath your borrowed shirt to brush against the swell of your chest. You grab at his shoulders and back, dragging your blunt nails along his skin as you pant. "I l-like this shirt!"
"I like it too," he admits, hiding his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulder. His hand slides up to cup one of your tits, tugging and pinching as he sucks a bruise into your neck. "Y'look damn good in it."
You whine, throwing your head back as he shoves the shirt halfway up, snagging on the bottom of your breasts before he yanks it off of you entirely. He drapes himself back over you almost right away, kissing you breathless until you lick into his mouth to earn a strangled groan.
Haruka seems content to keep kissing you, and normally you wouldn't mind, but your borrowed shorts are getting uncomfortably damp and he keeps rolling his hips mindlessly and it's driving you a little insane.
"Haruka, touch me already," you plead. Your boyfriend pulls apart a few scant centimeters, two toned eyes scanning your face wildly until you grab one of his hands and shove it down your shorts. "O-oh, yes, please right there â!"
"Fuck," he bites out. "You're so wet."
"Haruka, you need to stretch me out," you say breathlessly, squirming as his fingers slide and press against the wetness along your lips. "Y-you're too big to go right away, you've gotta ngh â"
He dips one finger into your clenching pussy and freezes above you. It would be almost comical except for how much hotter it makes you, forcing you to buck into his hand as he pants. "S-stop squirmin' or I'll come in my fucking pants," Haruka grunts, forcing himself to begin fingering you in earnest.
He grits his teeth when you whine at another added finger, scissoring them immediately to hurry this up. He doesn't want to hurt you, but when you're laid out like this right in front of him, looking so pretty and perfect, it's taking everything he has not to rut into you like an animal.
"I'm ready, 'm ready," you breathe. You wrestle the two of you out of your bottoms and giggle when he sends one pair of shorts flying into the wall, but your attention is immediately drawn to the trail of black and white strands leading down to your boyfriend's cock. "Can I?"
"Fuck no," Haruka says, positioning himself between your legs again. "D'you want me to die?"
That makes you laugh. You reach out for him as he spreads your legs apart with rough fingers, his easy, overwhelming strength making something throb in your gut. Your sex life is actually pretty healthy, considering your respective jobs and commitments and Haruka's healing trauma. He's always been careful and attentive to your needs as you learned about desire together. It's not like you're deprived of it, or anything.
But when Haruka slowly pushes his way inside you, the muscles along his jaw ticking with restraint, the feeling of being filled by him makes something snap in your core and you cum with a breathless cry.
Haruka freezes immediately, hands slamming down on either side of your head as you clench and squeeze his cock unrelentingly. He barely manages a shallow thrust before he has to freeze again, hot breaths puffing on your face.
"Did you just�"
"Uh huh."
"Does that always happen??"
"Your dick isn't magical, Haruka-kun," you giggle, looping your arms around his shoulders and wiggling your hips a little. "This isn't going to happen all the time, so don't get used to it."
"I wasn't sayin' that!"
Haruka pouts into your next kiss, but you lick into his mouth and manage to draw out a low groan and an aborted thrust. The ache in your gut hasn't lessened much. If anything, the pressure of his thick cock nestled inside you is making you tingle all over, and the way sweat starts to bead along his hairline makes you want to make him cry.
"You can move, please," you breathe, "you don't have to hold back."
"Don't wanna h-hurt you," Haruka grunts, pulling out slowly only to thrust back in with a force that makes your tits sway. He screws his two colored eyes shut, brows furrowing in concentration. "Fuck, you feel so good."
"You feel good, too," you sigh. "You can let go, I promise."
Haruka's next thrust makes you moan, and something in him seems to snap. He fucks you into the futon relentlessly, propping your ankles up on his shoulders, his dick hitting that spot inside that makes you see stars fuzzing along the edges of your vision. The angle presses your clit against his skin with every thrust, sending you quickly spiraling into another orgasm as you cry out his name.
"Hah, oh fuck I'm gonna â!"
Haruka groans a strangled garble of your name as he reaches his peak, thrusting into you deeply as his cock throbs and releases thick gobs of sticky cum inside you. He lets go of your legs immediately, pressing firmly into the muscles there to ease the strain of being stretched like that for so long, but he hides his face in your neck as the two of you catch your breath.
"Should I call in sick for work tomorrow?" you mutter absently, somewhat desperately grasping for some semblance of sanity. "I dunno if I'll be able to walk."
"Shit, did I hurt you?" Haruka asks, lifting his head and wincing at the pull of sweaty skin. He's glowing, bright and handsome above you, his hair damp with sweat. His two colored eyes are a little watery, his eyelashes sticking together in clumps with unshed tears from how hard he came. The sight makes something squirm in your gut.
You reach up to push his bangs out of his face and snicker as the strands stick up. "You didn't hurt me, you just fucked the strength out of my limbs. We'll need another shower."
Haruka blushes hotly, an impressive feat considering he's still solid and hard inside you. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm not hurt," you promise. You cradle his face in your hands and he leans into the touch. His hips roll slowly against you and he bites on his bottom lip as you gasp. "Haruka?"
"Maybe you should call in sick for work tomorrow."
"Seriously?"
Haruka nods, still blushing hard. "I swear I'm not a pervert, but youâŚ"
You gape at him. "Are you calling me a pervert?"
"N-no!" You don't give him a chance to continue, leaning up to kiss him. You're both smiling when you pull away. "Who knew doing this stuff would feel better than fighting?"
You laugh out loud at that and flop back into the futon. "Are you seriously comparing the two things? Why're you thinking about fighting right now?"
"Can't help it," Haruka says, shrugging. "I could die when you make me feel so good. And fighting's what got me the cutest girl on Tonbu street."
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Hii!! Do you take commissions for writing? â¤
Hello!! Iâm not really comfortable taking commissions because I donât feel super confident with my writing and would feel guilty about taking your hard-earned money.
That being said, while I havenât decided if Iâd be officially taking requests or even writing frequently on this blog, Iâd be happy to see what your request would be, and if the inspiration/motivation struck, Iâd be down to write it! Please lmk if you have questions!
Thanks for reaching out!!! đ¤
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rocket, my distrusting touch-starved raccoon, with f!reader
tags: post vol.3, readerâs from earth, reader comforting rocket, kinda fluffy but not really
It started with a comforting touch, much like how Drax had consoled Rocket after Groot sacrificed himself on Xandar
In your case, it was because of a nightmare
Though the High Evolutionary was gone, the teamâs encounter with the egomaniac had been Rocketâs first run-in with him since he first escaped the ArĂŞte, and with it dredged up memories that had been kept locked away and only ever thought back on with a haze of blurriness
You had been keeping Peter company during his graveyard shift and was heading back to your quarters when you heard a distressed shout followed by a crash coming from Rocketâs bunk
Your steps faltered, debating whether or not to barge in and ask if he was okay
The two of you werenât closeâthough youâd like to beâdespite the three years youâve spent together
After the war with Thanos, you had tagged along with Thor and stayed long after the god left, graciously accepting Peterâs invitation to join the family
The team had taken a quick liking to you. You were a good friend and an even better fighter. Nebula didnât quite trust you at first; she didnât really understand how you could do what you do and still retain some of that life that poured out of you. And RocketâŚ
Well, Rocket was respectful⌠sometimes⌠when he needed to be
Mostly, he ignored you. Other times, he was just a jerk
And depending on the day, youâd either let it roll off your shoulder or pretended that his words and the state of your relationship didnât hurt you
âShit!â
Rocket yelling expletives was not a new thing, but in your head you saw him lying in the med-bay, tubes and wires attached, foaming at the mouth
The events with the High Evolutionary was only but a month ago. Rocket wasnât fully over itâyou werenât sure if he ever would be. And you, you definitely werenât over it. The footage from the OrgoCorp file, the sight of Rocket nearly dead
It scared you, it still scares you
So you knocked and entered his room, knowing well enough that Rocket would never have opened the door or even shouted, asking who was bothering him
You first noticed the overturned cup and the pool of water near his bedside. His blanket had been tossed haphazardly to the floor, soaking up some of the liquid
You then met Rocketâs gaze, mirroring his frownâthough yours was one of concern
âRocket?â
Your voice was high-pitched and unsure, causing you to inwardly cringe
Rocket looked away, very much wishing now that he could bury himself under the covers
You walked toward the bed, noting how his ear twitched at the sound of your footsteps, how his brows furrowed and his nose scrunched up
If it were a totally different situation, you very well could have blurted out how cute you found him to his face
âWhat are ya doing? Get out of my room.â
He spoke with a gruffness that only comes when you stop yourself from crying but your throat still feels thick
You didnât answer him, not really knowing what to say without sounding awkward. Instead, you cleaned up his mess. You found an extra blanket and draped it over his lap before joining him on the bed, your back against the wall
You figured halfway through cleaning that it wasnât necessary for the two of you to talk about it. For now, at least. For now, you just wanted to offer your presence. To be somebody whoâs there without making Rocket feel embarrassed about needing somebody in the first place
Rocket had been silent. His arms mightâve been crossed and his brows still tightly knit, but he hadnât told you to leave a second time
You thought of telling him something funny but found your supply of witty remarks running low. You opened and closed your mouth, trying to muster any kind of words that werenât âAre you okay?â and âYou wanna talk about it?â
âYou want to watch one of those Terran movies you like?â
You stopped fiddling with the hem of your sweater, and a smile replaced your cautious expression.
Of all the things he could have said or doneâŚ
You didnât hesitate, lest he take back the rare offer.
âSure.â
You didnât do this often. Rations were low and trips to Earth were few and far between. But you wanted this to be special for him, so you grabbed Rocket by the hand, earning a grunt, and led him to your room.
Rocket had never stepped foot inside your quarters, let alone ten feet of it. He found it uniquely Terran, but even more uniquely you
Lamps and string lights you either brought with you from home or found in a junk shop, posters from favorite bands, television shows, and movies, plantsâsome more loved than othersâand books youâve read as a child
It was starkly different from Quillâs bunk, thatâs for sure. Smelled better, too
You shifted some pillows and opened your laptop
âMake yourself comfortable. Iâm just gonna grab some things. You can look for a movie in the meantime.â
You gave him a smile and was even bold enough to run a hand through his fur to the top of his spine. He was soft, and he didnât flinch or bite at you.
You returned five minutes later with a bowl of popcorn, the last of your microwaveable packets, and found Rocket toying with a stuffed animal Drax had gifted you. It was quite ugly but the sentiment was there.
You nestled yourself close to the raccoon, pulled the covers up, placed the bowl between you two, and pressed play.
You woke up to heavy breathing. Next to you was Rocketâs form, his face twisted in anguish and his limbs twitching
You glimpsed your surroundings. A small desk lamp across the room was still on, your laptop and empty bowl were discarded on the floor, the covers had been kicked off by Rocket and covered only a portion of your legs now
You donât remember falling asleep or even moving your things off the bed
You inched closer to him and rested your hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. You felt the metal pieces embedded in his body
âRocket. Rocket, youâre okay.â
Your voice was but a whisper, but his breath caught and his eyes opened to meet yours
âHey. Itâs still a little early. Peterâs still at the wheel, though heâs probably fallen asleep by now,â you chuckled. âItâs not your shift for a while. We should get some more sleep while we can.â
You didnât want to bring up the nightmare or the fact that you both fell asleep together or the fact that you were touching him and he hadnât shrugged you off yet
But you made sure to remind him of where he was, who he was with. The ArĂŞteâs no more. Rocketâs just on a ship, going who knows where with his friends, answering distress calls and saving the galaxy
He didnât speak. His eyes darted from your face to your steadily rising and falling chest to the hand that rested on his back. With each second, his vision grew clearer and further away from his wretched memories
âStay with me?â
You asked for his sake. Rocket nodded ever so slightly and shifted so that his back was to your chest, his head tucked under your chin.
You raised the covers and loosely draped your arm over his side. You didnât want him to feel any more suffocated than he mightâve felt when dreaming.
âYouâre alright.â
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I cried like a baby at this part you guysđŤ I had to capture it bc I cannot stop thinking about itđŚâ¤ď¸
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The Dog Days are Over!!!!!!!đŤś
A year later and this scene still makes me cry lolâ¤ď¸đŚ
Enjoy friends :)
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I have never cried harder to a movie in my entire life. I canât get a single shot out of my head. I love Rocket Raccoon forever and ever and every day beyond that. This movie was worth every second of the waitđŤâ¤ď¸
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Rocket Raccoonâs iconic orange jumper
(my first gif post, yay!! This is my first time doing this so sorry if thereâs something wrong with the cropping and what not. Part 2 coming soon! <3)
Edit : turns out the rest of my gifs are too big for tumblr, whoops.
In any case, donât hesitate to request for more gifs in my ask box!! Iâll make gifs of anyone in gotg <3
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