ccindalu

[ccindalu]

fuck yeah

Byler shippers, I am a Mileven shipper and I am offering a compromise. We need to find a new collective enemy so that we stop going after each other. At the end of the day both of our ships are sweet and harmless and bashing each other is ridiculous.

Personally? I elect we go after the creeps that ship the adults and the kids, people that are actually causing harm in the fandom cause I stg fucking Henry x Will or Henry x El should not be stuff that pops up in the st tag but it does and it’s fucking disgusting I think we can all agree on that.

[ccindalu]

Someone commented, "How can people say their relationship is toxic? She literally saved his life," under someone's TikTok that highlighted how Mike was willing to sacrifice his own life to spare Dustin's baby teeth (and thus proving the lack of values ​​he has towards himself and his own life) and he would be dead if El wasn't there.

“But she saved him.” Yeah… and that’s exactly why it’s complicated — and why their relationship might not be as healthy as it seems.

Let’s talk about the psychological weight behind this kind of dynamic.

When someone literally saves your life — especially during a traumatic, high-stakes moment — it creates a powerful emotional imprint. The person you associate with relief, safety, and survival can easily become idealized in your mind. But here’s the thing: that’s not the same as love.

The savior complex / emotional debt syndrome

When one person saves another — especially in an extreme (traumatic or life-threatening) moment — it can create a deep emotional debt, where the saved person feels they owe something profound to their savior. This can evolve into a distorted emotional attachment, which is often perceived as love.

Emotional debt ≠ romantic connection

Mike may feel like he owes El everything because she saved him. That sense of emotional debt can evolve into what looks like devotion, loyalty, even “love” — but at its core, it’s about guilt and obligation, not emotional compatibility or genuine desire.

When someone stays in a relationship because they feel they “should,” not because they want to, it creates an imbalance. It’s not real intimacy — it’s emotional submission masked as love.

Gratitude/savior love syndrome

Though not a clinical term, in psychological or romantic literature, people sometimes talk about “savior love,” where the attraction doesn’t stem from real romantic desire, but from a mix of gratitude, admiration, emotional dependence, and relief. This type of feeling can be very intense — but also fleeting — because it’s rooted in a dramatic event rather than a truly built relationship.

The “Savior Complex” and distorted attachment

This is a textbook example of what psychology often refers to as emotional debt attachment or “savior love.” When a person is rescued in a moment of trauma, they might unconsciously attach themselves to their savior, mistaking relief and admiration for romantic love.

It can feel very intense — even destiny-like — but it often fades or becomes damaging once the adrenaline of survival fades and there’s no emotional foundation strong enough to carry the relationship.

Transference

This is an unconscious mechanism where someone projects intense emotions — often linked to important figures from their past (like parents) — onto another person. In this case, the girl who saves becomes an idealized figure, almost a symbolic “savior,” and the love felt isn’t always based on who she truly is, but on what she represents emotionally: safety, life, salvation.

Transference and idealization

Mike might be projecting deep emotional needs onto El — needs for protection, unconditional presence, and safety — especially if his space to explore those needs safely disappeared one day before meeting El. In psychology, this is called transference: when we assign symbolic meaning to someone based on what they represent to us emotionally, not who they really are.

In this case, El isn’t just a person. She’s the girl who saved his life. She’s “the one who pulled him out.” She's a "superhero". And when someone becomes a symbol, not a person, the relationship loses balance. She becomes untouchable, unquestionable — and that is not mutual love. That’s idolization wrapped in trauma.

Post-traumatic emotional confusion

When someone goes through a traumatic experience, the brain seeks symbols of safety to hold onto. The person who was present in the moment of greatest fear — and helped overcome it — can become unconsciously associated with feelings of love, simply because they were the source of relief.

Post-traumatic emotional confusion

Trauma warps emotional perception. When we’re vulnerable, the brain clings to anything that feels like safety. It makes sense that Mike might associate El with peace and survival — but that association doesn’t always translate into a sustainable, reciprocal relationship. It can create a bond rooted in fear, not in freedom.

So yes, she saved him. And that matters. But it’s also part of the problem.

Because "You saved me, so I have to love you" is not romantic — it’s tragic. It’s a trap. It’s the kind of belief that keeps people in relationships that look loyal on the outside but are emotionally repressive on the inside.

Mike deserves to choose love freely — not stay in a relationship because he feels indebted to someone who once saved him. And El, too, deserves someone who loves her for her, not for what she did for him.

Gratitude is not love. Debt is not devotion. And saving someone doesn’t mean they owe you their heart.

In summary: This is most likely a post-traumatic attachment, combined with emotional transference and a sense of emotional debt, all being misinterpreted as love. It’s not necessarily fake or illegitimate — but it’s often an idealized kind of love, born from survival rather than a deep, mutual emotional connection.

If you’re looking for simpler terms to describe it: “Rescue-based emotional attachment” or “post-traumatic gratitude love” can work — even if they’re not official clinical expressions, they’re still meaningful and accurate.

And yes, it can become a toxic relationship, or at the very least unhealthy, if one of them stays out of guilt, debt, or gratitude instead of sincere love or mutual desire.

Here’s why:

Emotional imbalance If he stays out of obligation (because she saved him), and she believes he truly loves her, then there’s a fundamental emotional lie at the core. There’s no balance: one gives out of love, the other out of duty. And even if the intention is good (not wanting to hurt her, wanting to repay what she did), it builds a relationship based on a false premise.

The fear of hurting or “betraying” her He may feel like he owes her his life, and therefore has no right to leave, even if he’s not happy or in love. This chronic guilt can lead to a form of emotional submission, which will make both of them miserable over time.

The myth of “I owe them everything” This is a common mental trap: believing that because someone saved you, you must stay loyal to them for life — even at the cost of your own freedom or inner truth. It becomes a form of perpetual emotional debt that prevents you from listening to what you really want.

Possible consequences:

He may repress his true feelings, or even fall into depression.

She may feel that something is wrong, even if he never says it.

The relationship can become suffocating, built on illusion, and eventually lead to resentment, frustration, or even repressed anger.

The factual and logical consequences I describe here include all the relationships based on this dynamic. But the fact is that every consequence cited here and highlighted is evident and present in season 4 (especially in their argument scenes) speak volumes.

It’s not necessarily toxic at the beginning, but it becomes toxic if it continues without honesty.

Being grateful is one thing. Sacrificing your truth in the name of that gratitude is another.

Conclusion :

Yes, El did save Mike’s life — and that’s incredibly important. But love born out of a life-saving moment doesn’t automatically make a relationship healthy. In fact, staying with someone because you feel emotionally indebted to them, rather than truly in love, can actually be a sign of an unhealthy or even toxic dynamic.

There’s a psychological phenomenon where intense gratitude, admiration, or even trauma-bonding gets confused with love. When someone saves your life — literally or emotionally — they can become symbolically larger than life to you. You feel like you owe them everything. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you're romantically compatible, or even emotionally fulfilled in the long run. It just means they became a figure of safety during a moment of terror or pain.

If Mike is with El partly because he feels like he has to be, because she saved him, then that’s not a free, mutual love. That’s emotional debt. That kind of imbalance can lead to deep internal conflict — guilt, suppression of real feelings, fear of hurting the other person — and that’s where toxicity begins to seep in, even if no one means harm.

Gratitude isn’t the same as love. And saving someone’s life doesn’t mean they owe you a relationship forever. If a relationship survives solely on the basis of a heroic act from the past — and not on genuine, reciprocal connection in the present — then it might not be as healthy as it looks from the outside.

[ccindalu]

are we really so bored we’re making fake mileven accounts to be antagonistic 🥀

if you need something to do during this content drought: create! or read fanfic! or watch analysis videos! or look at fan art! or rewatch! or do literally anything else!

[ccindalu]

byler as jackieshauna in my yellowjackets au 🐝 🐅 details under the cut!

their history:

mike and will have been childhood best friends since they were five. they've gone through everything together — the good, the bad, and the ugly. they get each other on a level that no one else does, which is a blessing, but also — sometimes — a curse.

mike's always been very insecure of himself, self-conscious of his looks, talents, skills, and confidence. will's everything that mike wishes he was: good-looking, popular, team captain, kind, out. mike truly cares about will, but he's always held a hidden resentment against him. he's jealous of the fact that will's so outwardly himself, proudly feigning the confidence that mike lacks.

while will would never actually admit this to himself, he's always had a sort of mini-crush on mike. it's easy to fall in love when your best friend takes care of you so well. it's 1996, and while the world's not exactly the kindest, he's happy to find himself out as gay to a supportive and incredibly loving family.

mike starts dating el hopper, the brightest and most popular girl in school, in the spring semester of freshman year. in some ways, he hopes that by dating her, he'll gain some newfound confidence. instead, it brings heaps of self-doubt and pessimism as the two find themselves breaking up and getting back together more times than they can count.

frustrated after one of he and el's many break-ups, mike finds himself in will's car one afternoon after soccer practice. will attempts to cheer mike up by boasting about mike's own achievements and kind-hearted personality, saying how the right girl won't be able to pass him up like that. it's then when mike kisses him, straight out of the blue, and will can't help but reciprocate.

pre-crash:

mike treats will and el as their own separate entities, people who he can't mix on any occasion. he spends most of his days kissing el to at least assume some normalcy, and to prove to his parents that he's the respectable boy they've made him out to be. when he's with el, he convinces himself he and will are nothing but childhood best friends, and that there's nothing going on between them. in his downtime, when practice runs late and el's already reported home for curfew, he kisses will like his life depends on it.

mike's worst fear comes true during senior year when will and el tell him their parents are getting married, meaning the two will become step-siblings. it's then when will decides to call it quits. he can't keep doing this with mike if el's going to be his sister in less than a year. no matter how much they enjoy their late-night make-out sessions, it's not fair to her.

mike agrees, albeit reluctantly. there's something about will that el can't give him. it's an apt hunger, running deep through his veins. mike and will spend the rest of the year as friends, with at least two feet of distance between the two of them. but mike would be lying if he said he didn't think of will whenever he kissed el, imagined his lips instead of hers, his hands in his hair. he's now not only jealous of will's confidence, but the fact that he can be proudly gay without an ounce of shame for it.

when the tigers make it to nationals, they all attend the celebration party. mike offers to drive el and will home, who are both clearly wasted. after mike drives el home for her early curfew, he's suddenly overcome with a hunger he's never felt before. mike is instantly compelled to pull over. despite vowing to never do this again, mike can't help the part of him that's starved of will's presence, that wants a final taste of will before he's forbidden. he explains this in due time to will, who, to mike's surprise, can't resist the urge. they share what they think will be their last kiss the day before nationals in the back of mike wheeler's rover.

post-crash:

when flight 2525 crashes in the middle of the canadian wilderness, mike finds himself in a strange position. on one hand, he's stranded in the middle of nowhere with no parents or peers to judge him, with complete, unabashed freedom. on the other, he's stranded with will and el in the same, sequestered space, and he's not sure he's able to handle the two of them at once. it's only a matter of time before el finds out, and mike can't resist the deepest desires of his heart now that he's got will all to himself....

I could not resist the urge to mash two of my favourite shows together so here's what I have come up with! I am planning to draw most of the other characters and write their backstories and plot in this au as well, so keep your eyes peeled for when I eventually get to that. I convinced myself that I would write a fic for this au but ultimately could not as I am not confident enough in my writing abilities as of yet plus it would be an absolutely insane and lengthy project that I'm not sure I'm up for/would finish. I've decided to commit to drawing everyone instead and writing up small drabbles of how I think they would interact in this world so... there's that! I will obviously not be writing the entire au, but I do have LOTS of ideas for what could happen, so please feel free to send an ask if you have any questions ! :)

keep in mind this is just how I would personally go about the characters if they were put in this universe. mike obviously takes inspiration from shauna, and will obviously takes inspiration from jackie, but don't think that their entire story will be exclusively taken from these characters. will is much more similar to shauna than jackie personality wise, and likewise with mike and jackie, but narratively he and jackie both serve the same functions. do take this with a grain of salt as I also had to mesh their canon personalities with the respective character roles they're taking on so... I hope I did it well!

additionally, I just want to put it on the record that jackie and shauna are extremely complex characters, who are not wholly good or bad. in order for mike and will to reflect jackie and shauna's relationship dynamic, I wanted to incorporate the cheating plot. I know cheating is a very taboo topic in the stranger things fandom because in canon mike and will would never do such a thing, however, in this au, mike and will are not going to the 'saint-like' figures we often see them portrayed as in this fandom. they're not wholly bad, but they have flaws, which make them and jackieshauna super interesting characters. I also just really wanted to explore a kind of toxic relationship with byler because It's just interesting to me okay!!!! Idk!!!! don't send the pitchforks after me.

so yes... if we are comparing will's function in the narrative to jackie's he does have to die unfortunately. but I also have lotttsss of new ideas about how will gets to this point and how mike chooses to deal with it after 👀

[ccindalu]

byler as jackieshauna in my yellowjackets au 🐝 🐅 details under the cut!

their history:

mike and will have been childhood best friends since they were five. they've gone through everything together — the good, the bad, and the ugly. they get each other on a level that no one else does, which is a blessing, but also — sometimes — a curse.

mike's always been very insecure of himself, self-conscious of his looks, talents, skills, and confidence. will's everything that mike wishes he was: good-looking, popular, team captain, kind, out. mike truly cares about will, but he's always held a hidden resentment against him. he's jealous of the fact that will's so outwardly himself, proudly feigning the confidence that mike lacks.

while will would never actually admit this to himself, he's always had a sort of mini-crush on mike. it's easy to fall in love when your best friend takes care of you so well. it's 1996, and while the world's not exactly the kindest, he's happy to find himself out as gay to a supportive and incredibly loving family.

mike starts dating el hopper, the brightest and most popular girl in school, in the spring semester of freshman year. in some ways, he hopes that by dating her, he'll gain some newfound confidence. instead, it brings heaps of self-doubt and pessimism as the two find themselves breaking up and getting back together more times than they can count.

frustrated after one of he and el's many break-ups, mike finds himself in will's car one afternoon after soccer practice. will attempts to cheer mike up by boasting about mike's own achievements and kind-hearted personality, saying how the right girl won't be able to pass him up like that. it's then when mike kisses him, straight out of the blue, and will can't help but reciprocate.

pre-crash:

mike treats will and el as their own separate entities, people who he can't mix on any occasion. he spends most of his days kissing el to at least assume some normalcy, and to prove to his parents that he's the respectable boy they've made him out to be. when he's with el, he convinces himself he and will are nothing but childhood best friends, and that there's nothing going on between them. in his downtime, when practice runs late and el's already reported home for curfew, he kisses will like his life depends on it.

mike's worst fear comes true during senior year when will and el tell him their parents are getting married, meaning the two will become step-siblings. it's then when will decides to call it quits. he can't keep doing this with mike if el's going to be his sister in less than a year. no matter how much they enjoy their late-night make-out sessions, it's not fair to her.

mike agrees, albeit reluctantly. there's something about will that el can't give him. it's an apt hunger, running deep through his veins. mike and will spend the rest of the year as friends, with at least two feet of distance between the two of them. but mike would be lying if he said he didn't think of will whenever he kissed el, imagined his lips instead of hers, his hands in his hair. he's now not only jealous of will's confidence, but the fact that he can be proudly gay without an ounce of shame for it.

when the tigers make it to nationals, they all attend the celebration party. mike offers to drive el and will home, who are both clearly wasted. after mike drives el home for her early curfew, he's suddenly overcome with a hunger he's never felt before. mike is instantly compelled to pull over. despite vowing to never do this again, mike can't help the part of him that's starved of will's presence, that wants a final taste of will before he's forbidden. he explains this in due time to will, who, to mike's surprise, can't resist the urge. they share what they think will be their last kiss the day before nationals in the back of mike wheeler's rover.

post-crash:

when flight 2525 crashes in the middle of the canadian wilderness, mike finds himself in a strange position. on one hand, he's stranded in the middle of nowhere with no parents or peers to judge him, with complete, unabashed freedom. on the other, he's stranded with will and el in the same, sequestered space, and he's not sure he's able to handle the two of them at once. it's only a matter of time before el finds out, and mike can't resist the deepest desires of his heart now that he's got will all to himself....

I could not resist the urge to mash two of my favourite shows together so here's what I have come up with! I am planning to draw most of the other characters and write their backstories and plot in this au as well, so keep your eyes peeled for when I eventually get to that. I convinced myself that I would write a fic for this au but ultimately could not as I am not confident enough in my writing abilities as of yet plus it would be an absolutely insane and lengthy project that I'm not sure I'm up for/would finish. I've decided to commit to drawing everyone instead and writing up small drabbles of how I think they would interact in this world so... there's that! I will obviously not be writing the entire au, but I do have LOTS of ideas for what could happen, so please feel free to send an ask if you have any questions ! :)

keep in mind this is just how I would personally go about the characters if they were put in this universe. mike obviously takes inspiration from shauna, and will obviously takes inspiration from jackie, but don't think that their entire story will be exclusively taken from these characters. will is much more similar to shauna than jackie personality wise, and likewise with mike and jackie, but narratively he and jackie both serve the same functions. do take this with a grain of salt as I also had to mesh their canon personalities with the respective character roles they're taking on so... I hope I did it well!

additionally, I just want to put it on the record that jackie and shauna are extremely complex characters, who are not wholly good or bad. in order for mike and will to reflect jackie and shauna's relationship dynamic, I wanted to incorporate the cheating plot. I know cheating is a very taboo topic in the stranger things fandom because in canon mike and will would never do such a thing, however, in this au, mike and will are not going to the 'saint-like' figures we often see them portrayed as in this fandom. they're not wholly bad, but they have flaws, which make them and jackieshauna super interesting characters. I also just really wanted to explore a kind of toxic relationship with byler because It's just interesting to me okay!!!! Idk!!!! don't send the pitchforks after me.

so yes... if we are comparing will's function in the narrative to jackie's he does have to die unfortunately. but I also have lotttsss of new ideas about how will gets to this point and how mike chooses to deal with it after 👀

[ccindalu]

the wilderness has three queens — one to be a butcher, who will unleash death. one to be a hunter, whose crown will weight heavy. and one to be a prophet whose ideas will change history.

prints + merch + commission info pinned

[ccindalu]

excuse me do you have a moment to talk about the yuri bible

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yellowjackets edit🌝

this ones kinda butt, my edit; tt is @ccindaluu!

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Shauna Shipman edit😽

my edit; tt is @ccindaluu!

[ccindalu]

shauna’s funny as fuck she fr went from rabid rottweiler w the whole nat situation to good-natured leader trying to keep the team together within seconds bc of the antler queen title this bitch is fake asffff trying to give jackie w her “we’re still a team” like ok girl where was that these last couple months 😭 love her bad

[ccindalu]

“judas, must you betray me…with a kiss?”

[ccindalu]

This is the root of Shauna's anger toward Ben. In her eyes, he is yet another reason why she had to hold her dead baby in her arms. I know it may feel easy to vilify Shauna this season but underneath everything she does is so much pain. She blames herself for the death of her baby (even though, of course, it was not at all her fault). That guilt is too heavy to bear alone. She has to push it outward, to find someone else to blame, to redirect that grief into rage, because the alternative is drowning in it.

[ccindalu]

Season 3 Teen Shauna (yellowjackets)

I'm going to start this off by saying, I understand the terrible and inexcusable things Shauna has done and I am not going to sit here and say she is perfect and does no wrong, because that it incorrect.

What I am going to say is I think recently I have seen a lot of unjustified hate coming her way. I will disclaim that I am probably a bit biased because she is one of my favorite characters BUT nonetheless I think her character in both the teen timeline and the adult timeline (I'm really only talking about her in the teen timeline in this post but I will probably make another post about her in the adult timeline) has been extremely miss understood in the yellowjackets community.

I am going to state the obvious that she got into a plane crash, lost her best friend (and heavily blames herself for it), starved, and gave birth to a stillborn in the middle of nowhere with zero medication or prenatal/postnatal care. I am also going to acknowledge that she obviously wasn't the only one to go through this, as everyone else had to deal with similar tragedies and hardships. What I am mainly trying to point out is she has had little to no emotional or physical support throughout these various hardships. I think the version of her that we are seeing this season in both the teen and adult timeline (up to ep 5) is very angry. She is filled with so much rage towards herself and everyone around her that she has become completely blinded to her actions. If you watch season 1 and season 3 side by side you can see a VERY noticeable difference in her behavior and actions. This change is very much due to her trauma and new found anger. This is what I meant by her being misunderstood.

As seen in season 3 ep 4, Shauna feels very strongly about the fact that Ben must have set the fire and tried to kill them. Now whether you believe that he did or not (I personally think either Tai or Misty did it - or just nature) it is very clear that she is set on her opinion. To relate back to the fact that she is very emotionally unstable at this point, we can conclude that if someone was to egg her on (encourage and push this behavior and emotion) she would very easily become more and more angry and become very violent. This is where I will bring in Taissa and Melissa.

In the trial seen in ep 4 of Season 3, we can see Shauna being questioned about the fire. Misty tries to accuse her of setting the fire, (fails) and Taissa states while talking to Shauna, "Shauna why don't you think Ben is a hero? Didn't he help you while you were in labor?"(time stamp 23:50 ep 4). This is a extremely clear example of Taissa touching upon a VERY sensitive topic for Shauna, further igniting Shauna's anger and bringing up her trauma.

**Slightly unrelated side rant about Ben**Now I am also not going to say Ben is a hero either as he was the only adult, and even without a leg he could have provided crucial emotional support, as their coach. I will also say if ANYONE is to blame for the death of Jackie it should inevitably be Coach Ben. He was again the only rational adult who chose to not do the responsible thing in a obvious life of death situation. I don't like to blame the girls for Jackie's death, primarily because they are TEENAGERS. Teenagers are petty and aren't fully emotionally regulated and I 100% believe they all thought she would just come back in the next day, they would ignore her for a little bit and then all would be fine. Blaming the teenagers who aren't thinking rationally and are just petty is wrong and ignorant.

Back to Shauna, even if the girls aren't fully aware how messed up Shauna is, she doesn't care much for hiding it or trying to conceal it. Therefore proving how easy it could be to encourage this behavior as she has become the most irrational person in the group (maybe alongside Lottie..).

Now, Melissa. Personally I dislike her and I think she will only bring problems and conflict to the group. This might be a stretch but the way I see it she's almost controlling Shauna. In the 5th ep she tells Shauna "I like that your not afraid of the bad parts of you anymore."(timestamp 22:28 ep 5). Personally I think that's stupid and kind of annoying that she can recognize Shauna's obvious problem and still thinks its a good idea to applaud her for this irrational and mean behavior. And I don't care if Melissa is "only doing this to stay with Shauna". That literally doesn't make this any better or less problematic. Melissa continues to egg Shauna on, for example with her comment after the trial "Do you feel that right now. That's fucking power"(timestamp 56:04 ep 4). This can directly prove her influence on Shauna and how Shauna views in the group. Another line which isn't directly problematic but just gave me the ick was "Jackie kind of treated you like shit, Jeff acted like you were a dirty secret, and you totally let them!"(timestamp 22:15 ep 5). This is entirely incorrect and also tells us how long Melissa has known about Shauna even pre crash. She is definitely mentioning Jackie's behavior leading up to her death (few days prior), which is a unfair and harsh judgement to make about someone you don't know (not to mention they were all together in the woods for at least 4 months prior her death so she definitely interacted with Jackie before this). Also assuming that Jeff wanted nothing to do with Shauna is also inaccurate. Shauna treated him as the "dirty little secret" in her life, as she feels ashamed for helping her bestfriends boyfriend cheat and does't really appear to like him that way to begin with. I have more just petty reasons to not like her but I won't get into those as they aren't relevant.

Anyway to conclude I think Shauna's character has been very misunderstood and I really hope we'll get a character arch (even if its minor) this season. I know it's probably unlikely with the way her character is playing out but a girl can dream right.

P.S. I thought it was actually so funny when Van gave her and Melissa that confused look after they held hands. Maybe the group will try and split them up or question them about it?