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You know how hard it is to get into Hogwarts? It's not like you just apply... they come to YOU. And they do it in a really cool way with owls and wax sealed stamps and that sort of thing. So, who wouldn't want to go? Sadly, we're all muggles around here. Except Jerry, apparently, when one day this owl swooped in through customer service and dropped one of those letters on his keyboard. We hear he's in HufflePuff now. Good for him! If you want to feel like you're a student at Hogwarts, all you need is this slick hat. Just don't try and actually go... they tend to frown on muggles sneaking into the wizarding world.
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So you’ve got a thing for big older guys in white beards. The heart wants what it wants! Who are we to judge? After all, we love redheads…to each her own!
But listen...just like dating an accountant from January to March, we know that romancing the old boy who lives in the North Pole has its own certain set of challenges. He won’t upgrade to a car - much less a private plane (which we both know he could easily afford) - forcing you to go for ride-alongs in a cold sleigh pulled by eight smelly (and cranky) reindeer. He never wants to come down to the mainland to meet your friends, and you can forget it when it comes to him and social media...people can barely believe that he even exists, much less the fact that two of you are in a serious, committed relationship! And if you ever want some quality alone time with your man, it better not be between Halloween and Christmas...not only is he up to his pink ears in work, but he's constantly surrounded by elves, reindeer, and that ex-wife of his who still insists on calling herself *the* Mrs. Claus. They got divorced, like, a hundred years ago!
Sometimes, the only thing that keeps you going is the thought of you two finally dashing away on your annual tropical vacation, which starts on December 26 at 12:01 AM sharp, and doesn't end until the North Pole Q4 preparations begin in March. And this year, you wanna make some memories he'll remember far into next December...which is why we suggest you pack this Women's Sexy Santa Babe Costume! One look at you in this red velour dress with white faux fur trim, a matching red velour shrug, and a red santa hat will make Old St. Nick feel young again. Add some white thigh-highs and black heels and you'll be getting your jollies all over town! (get it? We said "jollies" while talking about Santa Claus? Yeah...guess we'd be tired of that joke, too, if we were you...)
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Bender Bending Rodriguez is a robot of many talents. He can bend girders to any angle: 30 degrees, 32 degrees, even 31. But that’s not his only talent. His skills also lie in drinking, smoking cigars, larceny (especially when it involves Fry’s blood) and strangely enough, folk singing. It’s exactly the kind of rap sheet that will get a young robot hired at Planet Express. Now, we can’t suggest you do ALL of the things that Bender does while wearing this licensed Futurama costume, because one of two things will probably happen if you do. You’ll either end up in jail, or members of Fathers Against Rude Television (F.A.R.T.) will form an angry mob and show up at Planet Express. We can recommend that you party like it’s 2999 though.
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