ccorsonrock

[ccorsonrock]

Two months!

As I sit here today I struggle with every thought that is going through my mind. As I sit here today I realize it has been two month! Two months of intense trying to welcome you into our life. Two months of hoping we get the answer we want. Two months of wondering when we will be blessed with your presence. Two months of constant let downs realizing that my body isn’t doing what it should be doing, conceiving.

As I sit here today I also think about all the times daddy and I thought we were blessed with you. Then there were the times we cried together because we realized we got our excitement past us due to your presence not being with us. Do you hear us talk about you? Do you know we are ready for you? Do you know we already have your name picked out? I bet you do!

Today makes two months of not being on any BC. Everyone I have talked to has said they got pregnant right after they finished their birth control. Peanut please know we want you in our life more then we can explain!

Today my mind has been every where as two weeks ago I came out of the bathroom grabbed my belly when I looked at your daddy and said “there’s a baby in there”. I promised your daddy that I would never tell him I was pregnant with you unless it was actually true! Your daddy looked like he was gunna cry! He truly was excited and it killed me not to be able to show him an at home test that was confirming that mommy was carrying you.

However, over the last two weeks I have been nothing but exhausted, wanting thick Applewood bacon (I only eat turkey bacon so this is way out of the norm but I’m sure you know that), daddy keeps holding my belly and giving mummas belly kisses as if he knows you are there, along with feeling sick throughout the day from the time I wake up all throughout the day.

Tomorrow I will be taking a test to see if we have been blessed with you! I really hope it’s true so I don’t have to break daddies heart when I tell him it wasn’t true!

Until then peanut please know we are waiting for you!

[ccorsonrock]

An reminder is sometimes all I need. I

Dear America,

I’m pretty sure you don’t know me although you’re probably convinced that you do. You’ve seen me (or someone like me) on the news, in the paper or on a Lifetime tv show. You might have witnessed our tearful airport good-bye or clapped at our reunion. You might spot me by my bumper sticker, license plate or “Red T-shirt on Friday”. It might be my accent or longing for Dunkin Donuts that gives away the fact that I’m not from around here. Another military wife. I’m not just another military wife though. Actually, none of us are.

There are things you don’t know about us. Things that you can’t see in twenty seconds on the news or find in a front page photo. There are things that are hidden in the tearful goodbyes and forgotten in the sweet hellos. I am more than a bumper sticker, a red t-shirt, a northeast accent and a longing for good coffee. We all are and really, I just want you to see that.

We are called the silent ranks but it’s never said why we are silent. I’m here to tell you it’s because we are waiting. We are holding our breath. It’s easy to be silent when you’re afraid to exhale. We wait…on letters, phone calls, emails and homecomings. But there’s more. We wait on training schedules, new commanders, duty rosters and dates for the field. We wait for leave approval and four-day weekends. We wait for dinner or else someone has to eat it cold. We wait for orders, Transportation, dates, and housing. We sometimes have to wait on Christmas, birthday and anniversary celebrations. We wait for phone calls that will always come at the worst possible moments and require you to give up a perfectly wonderful Saturday evening. We wait to see what last-minute changes will happen because we all know there will be some. We wait on life filled with uncertainty. We don’t usually see it that way though. To us, we are loving a military member and couldn’t imagine life any other way.

Next time you see me, or someone just like me, notice me. And softly remind me to stop holding my breath. It might be the first time I’ve remembered to exhale all day.

A reminder of an exhale sometimes is all that I need.

Semper Fidelis, USMC Wife

[ccorsonrock]

You are never alone!

As a military wife you always think of things that could happen both positive and negative. As a military wife you give your promise that you will always be there for him on good days, bad days and those in between. As a military you gain family that you have never met but you know will always be there if something major goes on. As a military wife you hear horror stories about things that happen in the units and you hope that it doesn't happen in the unit your honey is in. However tonight we got the call the tragedy happened in our unit. Tragedy happened way too close to home tonight. One of my loves brothers took his life due to unknown reasons. So if everyone could send out thoughts and prayers to his family near and far that would be greatly appreciated. Tonight we lost another to the 22. No one should have to fight this battle alone. Please know that if anyone needs to talk no matter if I know your personal story or not, I will always listen and help to the best of my ability. You are NEVER alone in your battle. If everyone could keep this young man and his family in your thoughts and prayers as we go through the next steps it would be greatly appreciated. Veteran suicide hotline: 1-800-275-8255 A simple share of this number may help those you don't even know. Rest easy brother, Semper Fidelis.

[ccorsonrock]

Tomorrow…

For the past two weeks tomorrow (January 6, 2017) seemed like it was never going to get here. For the past two weeks, I have honestly felt every emotion under the sun. I have felt everything from happiness, sadness, depression, anxiety ect. You name the feeling and I probably have felt it. For what you ask? For one of the most life changing days in my life.

As of tomorrow the birth control I have had for the past three years is coming out in hopes to find out that my fiancé and I will soon find out we are expecting. As of tomorrow our lives will be different. As of tomorrow we are not just thinking about us and our puppy but our little family.

To many of you, you may think that this seems ridiculous to feel so many different emotions but to me this has been my normal.

Over the past six months, we have talked about having a lil one, having a family, finding that missing puzzle piece, even hoping the birth control would fail. Tomorrow is the day that we can finally start trying to conceive with a higher chance of it actually happening. Tomorrow is the day that all the birthing plans, baby names and what we will do for our family will mean more then just words that feel like empty promises. Tomorrow is the day that will bring hope and positivity back into my life. Granted tomorrow is also the day that I have to undergo a minor procedure which will be followed by terrible bruising. In the end it will all be worth it.

Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be the day that will change our life for the better.

Please let this work. 💏🍼

[ccorsonrock]

"It's a beautiful day to save lives."

[ccorsonrock]

Tomorrow is the day we sign out contract for our wedding venue. Tomorrow is the day I sign one of the last things with my maiden name. I cannot wait to be his wife. I cannot wait to share this journey with my better half. I cannot wait to conquer the world with my better half by my side. Hand in hand as we travel this journey as husband and wife. 10.14.18 💍❤

[ccorsonrock]

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that it hurts your heart? Have you felt sick looking at others happiness? Have you ever felt like given up?

The answer to all of these is I have and I do, on a daily basis. The struggles you face when all you want is your own happiness, your own family, the missing piece of everything that could potentially complete the person who you already are.

For months I have told myself, my fiancè, along with our family that I was content with just a puppy and that I didn’t want to have baby just yet. Truth be told I was hiding the pain of watching others be able to hold, cherish, love their small bundle of joy.

Is it to much to ask for my own little bundle of joy? Is it to much for my own happiness? Is it to much to have my own little family?

For once, I just wish I could have my own happiness, my own little family, my own bundle of joy. But, until then I shall be happy with what life had blessed me with thus far.

“Dear baby, We’re waiting for you.❤ Love Mommy & Daddy”