cechk
CECHK
A fraction of the self. ☉ Multimedia artist. Exploring the gap between emotions and the act of expressing them.
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Body ache’s and wires
Forgotten memories of the warmth
Blue lights
My fingers click and intertwined
There’s no more tears
And i’m fine.
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the sinner and the child (2023)
#trauma#childhood#artwork#digital painting#csa survivor#Religious Symbolism#religious trauma#painting#contemporaryart
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childhood dreams
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sometimes there are 2 of us,
always fighting
always with the utmost care and the greatest violence
one pleads, the other strikes
even when we are on the same side,
you permanently like to fight
even when I know is because you are sad and scared
it's okay
I can take it.
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dreamscape
a door opens in my mind everytime I get sacred
then I reach my hand
and let it take me to the place
the place I was born in
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the hunting
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My best friend Nicotine
When I'm down she lifts me up, when I'm anxious she calms me down. When I can't stand the brightness of the sun she turns my vision down.
They say is not good for me, but see, my family has this tradition. Between alcohol and smoke, I choose her. All the smoke lodges up in my lungs and I smile. Rotten inside and happy for the ride.
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Must face my phantom self
(details on a new painting)
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The suicidal person has fear of death nonetheless. What is different is: the fear is of no concern. Death is the better option.
Firstly, I stayed alive because I wanted to draw and become a good artist.
Then, I wanted to stay alive because I have people who care for me. People who would be sad if I went away. People I care about, people I want to protect.
Now, I want to be alive because, slowly, very, slowly, I want to be alive.
It's kind of funny.
And it's terrifying.
Sometimes I think it was easier to just be depressed.
Life is so absurd, and the most absurd part for me is that I actually want to be alive now.
Camus would be proud because most days I think about making a cup of coffee instead of hanging myself.
Because life is absurd. Life is good and full of love. And I think I am brave enough.
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”
― Albert Camus, A Happy Death
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