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[cfr749]

Talk Shop Tuesday -

It’s almost been a week since the break up.

How are you doing?

Has it affected how you read or write?

Hi Virginia!

Thanks for the sending this kind ask my way! ❤️

I'm feeling okay at the moment, but my emotions were pretty all over the place last week.

At first I was excited that the show was making me feel so much again. But then my heart just really started to hurt for the characters.

And then I remembered how much it sucked to watch week after week and wonder if we'd get any Chenford interaction. And then I remembered how much it sucked to get jerked around by the show (CHENFORD IS HAPPENING! IS CHENFORD HAPPENING? 😂)... Not my favorite era... lol. You are welcome for this trip down memory lane.

But now I think I'm back to feeling pretty neutral -- I'm hopeful this will feel earned, and I hope they just focus on telling an authentic story for Tim and Lucy as individuals as well as for Chenford vs. focusing so much on doing stuff purely to get reactions from us shippers. (Silly of me, I know.)

I am writing again, which is exciting (for me, lol). In terms of reading, it's not something I'm great at when I have a WIP. It just feels like too many voices in my head for the characters. But I wish I didn't have that problem so I could be more supportive of all of the amazing talent in this fandom.

How are you feeling?

[cfr749]

SEASON 7 HERE WE GOOOOO!!! 🎉🎉

[cfr749]

Wild idea…

We can acknowledge that Tim inflicted pain on Lucy and broke her trust without invalidating his feelings, trauma, or reasons for breaking up with her.

We can acknowledge Tim’s pain without devaluing or minimizing Lucy’s.

[cfr749]

Hi! I’m new to this fandom, just finished binge watching all 5 seasons. Who do you think had feelings first - Tim or Lucy? Also who realized it first? I always felt that Tim realized it first when Lucy was taken by Caleb, but then he was ready to marry Ashley so idk 🤪 Would love to know your thoughts 😊

Hi anon!

I feel like a massive jerk for sitting on this, and taking so long to welcome you to the fandom!

But also... it's kind of your fault for asking such an impossible question to answer simply because canon is riddled with examples of things like you mentioned above and trying to figure out what they were thinking in seasons 4 and 5 feels like this (to me):

It's worth mentioning that there are amazingly thoughtful people in this fandom that have done an incredible job of filling in the blanks; @theflyindutchwoman and @makeitastrength come to mind off the top of my head, but I know there are many, many others as well (feel free to drop any faves in the comments) .

Unfortunately, I have a brain that really struggles to let go of inconsistencies, which has resulted in a wildly volatile love-hate relationship with this show for me.

I was hoping if I held on to the ask, I'd be able to give you a thoughtful answer, and I'm not sure that this is it, but for what's it worth, I'll just share where my head was at some key points, beginning with the early days...

Early Chenford Era (S1-3x07):

My headcanon here has always been that there was some level of a mutual attraction, first physical and then emotional. Not anything either would act on, but a level of chemistry between them nonetheless.

As far as awareness, I'd score Tim as somewhere between oblivious and so highly compartmentalized that even if it had popped into his head on occassion, he never gave it any actual space to breathe or grow.

For Lucy, I think she was generally somewhere between mostly compartmentalized but also aware of the fact that he's hot and it's fun to push his buttons because he's such a hardass. So possibly a bit of awareness of the attraction, but zero intention to do anything more than have a little fun with it in an attempt to soften him up a bit. And zero belief or desire that it would be anything more than that.

GIF Credit: @thesweetnessandthesarcasm

There's definitely an awareness of the fact that aren't afraid to test each other's limits -- sometimes it's intense and other times it's fun and flirty, but either way, it starts to build some delicious tension.

But in moments of high stress or vulnerability, we got glimpses of just how much their emotional connection was growing, whether they were willing to admit it or not.

Needless to say, this was my favorite Chenford era. I think it was beautifully executed (even if it was all by accident 😂). I think the development was organic and believable and what the very best slow burns are made of.

Thanks for the thoughtful and kind ask, anon! If this is at all interesting to you, feel free to drop me another ask and I will continue in a separate post with my thoughts on the infamous feelings prank and what followed.

Welcome to the fandom!

[cfr749]

Unpopular opinion (key word: opinion) that I should probably keep to myself 😂, but…

Tim having to have Lucy push him into doing something to resolve the chain of command issues was WAY more out of character than Tim having unresolved trauma from his past.

So was the two of them being willing to cheat on their significant others.

Just saying.

*runs and hides*

[cfr749]

Last Sentence Tag Game

RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

Big thanks to @mamadoc❤️ for the well-timed tag, since I just so happen to be attempting to write at the moment (key word: attempting 😂).

Here is the last sentence I wrote:

Apparently more than okay with it, because god, he is completely obsessed with her — can still taste her on his lips and somehow still feels like he is never going to get enough.

from the story that will hopefully someday get its conclusion, Beneath Your Beautiful

That is way too many words, so just tagging some friends to join the fun if they want to (no pressure!): @goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo @write-or-wrong88 @itsoneofthemuses @arch78 @farfarawaygirl @literali1110 @rememberthismomentx @mrsgreenworld @theawkwardanglophile @crose84 @poppypickle

[cfr749]

What do you think of Chenford breakup reasons? Just to add drama and indicate the honeymoon phase of their relationship ended. I felt they've been building to it since the season started. Or It's season 6, and some contract are up, and they want to have options if necessary. I mean, look at other characters' arcs, too.

Hi anon,

Thanks for the ask!

I know there are a lot of theories on this, but, from my perspective, I think it was 100% a creative storytelling decision, and though I wasn't expecting a breakup, it also didn't feel like it came from out of nowhere for me.

We saw cracks in their relationship very early on with how they both approached resolving the chain of command issues and then obviously began to move into the UC conflict. I do think there was a clear through line in terms of building up to this since the beginning of the season, though of course it could have been clearer.

This is pure speculation, but for me this season so far has stylistically felt very much like Alexi taking back the reins after stepping away to work on other projects the last few seasons. These versions of Tim and Lucy feel very much like who the characters were in Seasons 1-2.

And, IMO, the emotional intensity this season is very reflective of the types of things we've seen for storylines he was more heavily involved with previously (Tim & Isabel, John's S1 shooting, DOD, Tim's dad SL, etc.).

I know people also have mixed feelings about Tim's backstory, but for me this also felt like a character-driven storytelling decision vs. something that was inserted solely to break Chenford up (though of course that was also a major driver).

Learning why Tim felt so much guilt and shame over what happened in Mosul made his backstory click into place for me. I imagine that Tim found his place in the army -- he found something he was good at, that he was valued and appreciated for. He was promoted quickly up the ranks, and for someone with his background, it must have felt like all of the validation and affirmation he was desperate for, but never received as a child. And when Ray going rogue threatened that-- the one thing in the world he had that finally made him feel worthy -- I can absolutely understand the desperation and panic Tim must have felt to prevent having that ripped away from him.

We know that Tim is a good person. I have zero doubt that making the decision that led to his two squad mates died destroyed him and all of the beliefs he had about who he was. I have zero doubt that it took everything he had to crawl out of that pit of despair and try to keep going. He shoved it into a box because he had to in order to survive. And then suddenly, years later, with no warning, he was forced to confront the one thing he's never been able to face about himself.

I have always said all I've ever wanted for Chenford (and Lucy and Tim as individuals) was a good character-driven story, told with intention, so even though I'm actually incredibly sad over the breakup, I'll be okay if that is what we get moving forward.

[cfr749]

One thing I really need to see is this show giving Lucy back her agency. Tim obviously took that away from her in the days leading up to the breakup and then, of course, in the way he ended things as well.

But we also had Primm pulling the strings on her career.

And going back even further we had Tim influence her decision that a relationship would be worth the risk. Tim also decided she was going to date Chris and then ultimately influenced her decision to break up with him (she even used his words instead of her own 🤦🏽‍♀️, but even as a joke that was problematic).

Others have also pointed out how things ended with Nolan and Emmett.

One thing I have actually loved about this season is Lucy vocally standing up for herself, and I need to see it continue. I’d love to see her have the opportunity to take the reins on her career and her personal life (including whether she decides to forgive Tim, reunite with him, or even see someone else). It needs to be her making those decisions for herself.

[cfr749]

What's happening is Tim's spiralling out right now. Hes in self destructmode after his past resurfaced. Tim thinks by pushing Lucy away, he's protecting her. He truly believes he's a bad person/no longer worthy of her. He's built a new life since the army and what happened and now the two worlds collided and he's a mess and feels ashamed/unworthy.

It's not about them being worth the effort.

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask. I’m not sure if this was in response to something specific or just a general comment about the situation?

But I agree with you, and I can completely understand why Tim spiraled and how we ended up where we did.

That said, Tim knows better than anyone how it feels to have the person you love, the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, flip a switch and walk away from you without warning.

It’s damaging, and even if Lucy knows on an intellectual level that Tim is dealing with his own issues and that it’s not about her or her worth, it doesn’t mean she’s not still going to feel like Tim didn’t believe she and the life they were building together weren’t worth fighting for. It doesn’t mean she’s not going to feel like he threw away their relationship — that he threw her away — without even stopping to think about it.

Walking away wasn’t even a possibility for her, not even after everything he put her through. And I think we saw in her reaction that she couldn’t even fathom that it could be an option for him, and now she has to come to terms with the fact that it was. 💔

These writers definitely have their work cut out for them, and I hope the story they decide to tell from here does them justice ❤️

[cfr749]

Do you think that post break up, Tim will put his walls back up and avoid lucy? That 1 second clip in the promo made me think otherwise? Do you think he regrets the break up?

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask.

I don’t think Tim is going to regret the breakup right away. I think he genuinely believes she’s better off without him. I do think, now that the Ray situation is dealt with and he’s out of reaction mode, he’s going to have to emotionally process everything that happened with her.

And I think he’s gonna feel a lot of regret and remorse for how he handled the situation as a whole. I think he’s going to have to come to terms with how badly he hurt her and what little regard for her and her feelings he showed in the days leading up to the breakup (ghosting her, not being honest with her, saying he was willing to walk away from her) and in making the decision to break up with her on an impulse, instead of taking time to think through the decision and the impact on her and at least giving her the respect of an open and honest conversation.

To be clear, I’m not saying the situation could have gone any other way given his emotional state. This is just how I think he may feel about the situation in retrospect.

Instead of Tim putting his walls up and avoiding Lucy, I think we may actually see Tim being the one who wants the chance to apologize and talk things out, and Lucy being the one who becomes more closed off and guarded.

But who knows with this show? What do y’all think?

Thanks for the ask, anon ❤️

[cfr749]

Just a few thoughts today now that I'm seeing things more clearly.

I think what hurts most about all this is Tim making this decision for the both of them without allowing Lucy any input. And I get why he did that, but it still hurts regardless.

Not exactly the greatest parallel, but it reminds me slightly of Cristina and Owen on Grey's Anatomy. Where Owen is struggling with PTSD and keeps trying to walk away from the relationship. Cristina continuously tells him, "I know what I can and cannot handle. I'll decide when it's too much for me."

Tim didn't give Lucy that chance, he decided for them. And I keep hearing Lucy saying, "How did he let go so easily?"

I know nobody wants to think about this. I'm shuddering myself. But...it's reminiscent of Lucy's breakup with Nolan in season 1. And how she thinks he's made this decision so easily.

We saw how upset Lucy was by that, and that was Nolan. This is the love of her life.

This is going to sting and take time to repair. I can just picture Lucy so clearly whispering to Tim, "You left me behind. Like I was nothing, like we were nothing. How do I come back from that?"

Can this be fixed? Yes, absolutely. But pleaseeee give this storyline time to breathe. Build it back up slowly and authentically.

I do kind of wonder if Lucy will go back undercover.

I kind of like the idea of her doing something slightly reckless and Tim trying to talk to her about it and getting a line similar to the one Meredith gave Derek in S2 of Grey's Anatomy.

"I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what you broke!"

Something like, "You don't get to decide how I fix what you broke! You lost that right the moment you left me standing in the parking lot!"

*Sigh* so many damn feelings😭

But i'll end with lyrics to a song that's been on repeat today.

And I'm not supposed to be this way

And I'm not supposed to heal this way

You are not supposed to go

And I'm not supposed to grow

I'm not supposed to be this way

PS: I'd like to think I speak on behalf of all of us when I say that after all this? We deserve a makeup sex scene. I will even settle for a kiss reminiscent of the airplane bathroom kiss. Will we get it? Likely not. Will I continue asking for it? Always.

[cfr749]

So I know there have been mentions of the Chenford storyline being disconnected or choppy this season, but in a way I feel like it was all a cumulative build to this.

With Tim, I think what happened with Ray pushed him over the edge, but I also think he saw Lucy’s reaction to almost killing someone (vs. his past as not only The Reaper but feeling directly responsible for the loss of his men’s lives).

I wish we saw more acknowledgement of it, but I have to think he also felt a ton of the weight of Lucy not making detective.

I have to think failing that lie detector killed him, because he genuinely wanted to be 100% supportive of Lucy’s dream but just couldn’t be given his past.

Lucy’s had her own cumulative build of hit after hit and we know just how much she put on the line for her relationship. I am still holding my breath hoping they take it somewhere 🤞🏽; I definitely need some acknowledgement of everything she’s been through.

That said, I think I was initially set on this idea of seeing her struggle and spiral and hit some kind of rock bottom, but now I think I’m more open to the idea of her coming through all of this with her head held high, even stronger than before. That said, there’s a difference between showing positive growth through difficult experiences and simply flattening her character to being sunshine, all of the time.

Just random thoughts. Definitely a little more bummed today that I was yesterday, but still open to seeing where this all goes. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[cfr749]

Tim & Lucy | Worth the Risk (6x06)

Edited by SunnyVids.

[cfr749]

I still dont understand how you went from Lucy supporter to this nonsense. She is again just a vehicle for the man pain and you are celebrating it. Disappointed and disgusted

Welcome back, anon! First off, thanks for sending two rude messages so I can respond to one and use the other to block you 👋

To be clear, the only reason I’m giving this the the time of day is because I think the “man pain” issue is worth addressing.

I’m always open to talking about this show and issues with misogyny, representation, race, etc. Even with people I don’t completely agree with.

What I’m not gonna do is discuss it with someone who can’t converse like a rational adult and finds joy in sending toxic, judgmental anonymous messages, so this little exchange of ours is over after this.

I am so sorry that my feelings about the show don’t line up exactly with what you want them to be. Sounds like you have some pretty strong feelings of your own though, so here’s an idea 💡 : post them on your own blog!

Shockingly, I’m capable of considering that there might be multiple perspectives on specific decisions the show makes. And that more than one of them can be valid at the same time!

I completely get how this could be viewed as growth for Tim at Lucy’s expense. I agree that sucks. I’ve posted multiple times that I will be LIVID if Lucy doesn’t actually end up with any type of storyline of her own or character development resulting from all the shit they put her through, and just ends up as a supporting character in another Tim-centric SL.

But, I can feel that way and also have other opinions all at the same time:

- I am glad they let Tim be the flawed human instead of the victim.

- I’m glad they didn’t villify Lucy in the breakup because god knows how quickly this fandom would tear her to pieces if she ever did to Tim what Tim just did to her.

- After years of Lucy doing barely anything on screen other than the odd UC op and propping up storylines for Tim and Chenford, I’m glad her character is 3-dimensional again both in the relationship and outside of it.

- I am heartbroken over the break up. I can’t watch the scene without bawling my eyes out. I feel nauseous thinking about it. But I am also glad they now have another chance to get it right this time for Chenford. Specifically because I love Lucy. Because I feel like she deserved so much better than what she got the first time.

- I’d love to see Tim value her and fight for her instead of just having her drop everything on a dime for him bc he deigned to look her direction after getting dumped by his girlfriend.

- I’d love to see him deal with all his unresolved baggage and realize what a complete and total idiot he is for throwing away what they had.

- And I’d love to see Lucy [continue to] recognize her own worth and thrive in the meantime. I am SO proud of who she’s been this season. And I hope she becomes even stronger and more sure of herself.

- I hope she recognizes she deserves so much better than what Tim gave her and that his decision has nothing to do with her worth (even if it feels like that at first), and I hope she *demands* better from him before even considering taking him back.

I’m not psychic. I don’t know what they have planned for the rest of the season (and no, I’m not gonna jump to conclusions off of a few vague interviews either). Maybe I’ll love it; maybe I’ll hate it. We’ll see.

Either way, I’m clear that’s it’s still just a TV show and that these are fictional characters. Are you?

[cfr749]

It's the fact that Lucy was the one fighting for their relationship no matter what, despite never being able to commit to any of her ex-boyfriends, while Tim was the one who walked away from her, when he used to stay in relationships despite them not working, that makes this so incredibly painful for me. Lucy was all-in. She took the risk of losing the most important relationship in her life. She gambled her career for him. When she found out he had problems with her doing undercover work, she simply told him they were going to get through it. Even after being kept in the dark and spending days without knowing if he was alive, her first instinct in the parking lot was still trying to help him and comfort him.

There's only so many times you can watch your partner walk away before there's no coming back. Before it completely shatters your trust in them. Because that's the issue here : it's not the first time he does that to her. Don't get me wrong, he definitely had his reasons each time and they were noble. Misguided, but noble. And he is without a doubt not in the right mindset at the present. He's punishing himself, feeling worthless of her love. But the pain inflicted to her is the same. It's no wonder that Lucy is crushed and believes it was easy for him to give up. We know it wasn't like that at all. But why would she think any different at this point? It's easy to say that your relationship is worth the risk but if you keep walking away when it gets tough, then those words become meaningless. And I really hope that this is going to be addressed during Tim's journey so that he can break that pattern. Lucy deserves that much. And so does he.

[cfr749]

this breakup is just tim’s way of punishing himself for lying about his actions but he’s forgetting that he’s also hurting lucy, who is not at fault for this at all, who just wanted to support him. and hopefully he’ll realize soon that it’s not worth it at all, that this breakup is only going to hurt him and won’t do lucy any good, if that’s his intention for letting her go.

[cfr749]

Listen… I want them to get back together but this man is going to have to GROVEL and earn her love and trust back.

But also, if they do nothing with everything Lucy as an individual has been through this season, I am going to be so completely BEFUDDLED.

Just spitballing...

Let me get this straight...

Lucy risked her reputation by dating her superior;

Lucy risked her career so that Tim could advance to Metro;

Lucy in fact did inadvertently stall her career because she helped Tim;

Lucy learned that Tim never truly supported her in doing UC work;

Lucy was left in the dark when Tim up and left, without telling her where he was or if he was alive;

Lucy's life is put at risk because of Tim's lie and keeping her in the dark;

Lucy is left heartbroken Tim breaks up with her in the same location her convinced her that they were 'worth the risk'.

Cool. coolcoolcool.