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Mads and Hugh at ECCC 2025

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the writers were like what if we gave this guy bambi-eyes, freckles AND rabies and that’s how stiles stilinski was born

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i really do miss the golden days of tumblr creation and interaction but i wanna say that i also love that us gifmakers are still here even tho even reaching 1k on something is a miracle. we love giffing and creating and that is awesome. even if i’m not in your fandom and maybe a gifset has under 100 notes i know the work and love that went into creating that and i see you and appreciate you 🔆

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demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

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every so often the discourse comes around again that basically boils down to “is it feminist for a woman to want men to be attracted to her” and it’s like. no, it’s not. it’s also not anti feminist. it’s not relevant. it’s nothing. a woman wanting to have sex with men has nothing to do with feminism. being a lesbian or celibate is not “more feminist” than being a straight woman. the point was always “women should not have to dress in a way that is attractive to men solely in order to be acknowledged by them at all” not “women should never dress in a way that is attractive to men for any reason.” sometimes a woman wants men to want to have sex with her. that’s not anti feminist. that’s average. it’s also not feminist just because it’s her choice to do it. it is not related. feminism is about women’s human rights. that doesn’t mean it’s a feminist act every time a woman makes a choice.

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Stiles gets nervous and accidentally reveals the wrong secret. 

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this brings me so much joy

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Stiles: What are the most unusual places you've had sex?

Derek: in a happy relationship

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I'm normal about Sterek and I can stop whenever I want.

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I've said this before, but "the US is diverse while China is homogenous" is a mainstream-ish talking point that you see sometimes, and if you have an academic background anywhere adjacent to mine (linguistics) it will probably strike you as pretty ridiculous. The US has a lot of largely-culturally-assimilated recent immigrant diversity, while China has dozens of centuries-old minority communities of various sizes which often retain not just their own language and culture, but indeed in some cases traditional subsistence methods, kinship systems, and so on, not commensurate with mainstream Chinese society. The diversity in China is considerably deeper. Whereas in the US you have white, black, asian people etc. all speaking the same language and practicing essentially the same culture (with local variations), subsisting in the same ways, practicing the same marriage norms, etc. etc. It's objectively much more homogenous. The outliers here are indigenous communities, which have a real and significant cultural diversity, but make up a very small proportion of the US population.

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She did

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change does not come from a place of comfort

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Holy **** oh right okay. So I was about to make a post about how using speech to text has already been a game changer for me but as you can see by the line of asterix at the start of this post the bloody thing auto censors swear words. (Yet bloody got through, ig Because it is a description and also British slang.). Hint: the word I was trying to say there starts with F and ends with K.

Oh and guess what else you can't say you can't say? **** [Nipples]. had to type that myself. penis is ok but **** [clitoris] isn't, and all my attempts to say "clit" were Misunderstood, which may just be my speech but at this point I am not willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Vagina is OK too but every time I say it there is a moment when an * shows up on screen first before the full word does. this doesn't happen when I say the word penis.

It is completely heinous. Anybody who needs speech to text is immediately forced to comply with the rules set out by people in a position of power and then enforced by a machine — a machine that is a very powerful accessibility tool. Imagine trying to dictate a letter to a doctor or fill in an E consult with speech to text, only to have words of your anatomy censored as if they are taboo. there is already far too much stigma around genital physical health — and note that I could say genital but can't say **** [clitoris] — for it to be okay for these words to be censored.

And even if somebody just wants to swear In a message to their friends or write smut/**** [pornography], they should be able to. There is no justification for this feature. No reason for it to be default.

I'm trying to find a way around this. There is a settings icon on the little speech to text bar that comes up, but this only gives me options For the speech typing launcher, auto punctuation, and to set the default microphone. it's making me extremely angry

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You know that Ada Limón poem where she’s like “i can’t help it i love the way men love”? my dad recently confessed to me that he became a shoemaker because they buried my grandma shoeless

oh…………………………………

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if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

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this has been in my head for weeks