chain-unchained - Tumblr blog

[chain-unchained]

I’m stepping away from tumblr for the time being.

Just can’t handle the constant drama that seems to be going around on here. Some days I wonder how a site that can be so open and welcoming and promote wonderful ideals about acceptance and love and just in general being a decent human being, can simultaneously have some of the most disgusting, hateful vitriol.

For those of you who follow me for the Stardew Valley fic, I’ve started uploading it on AO3 and intend to continue it there, along with my New Vegas fic and whatever else I decide to write. You can follow me there.

I don’t know when, or even if, I’ll come back, so I’ll say it now: thank you to each and every one of you who followed me and enjoyed the crap I posted. I’m happy that I got to share my cringey ass shit with you guys. Much love to all of you.

[chain-unchained]

December 17

The rustic twang of country guitar played over the jukebox in the Saloon. Sundays were far from the busiest days for the establishment, but there was always a handful of regulars that would come by, and someone would always plonk a few coins into the machine. The music was never loud enough to make conversation difficult; it was just there as background ambience.

It was a familiar song to Ashe as he stepped in through the door. By this point he’d visited so many times that he knew just about every track on the old machine. And this was one that he remembered fondly; he would often listen to it with his mother. Before the illness.

“Hey, there you are!”

Emily’s smile was a mile wide as she hastened around the counter to greet him. “It’s been forever since you stopped by.”

“Emily!” The hug they shared was mutual. “Sorry, just—I’ve been so busy.”

“No need to apologize. I’m just happy to see you again.” She held him back at arm’s length to study him with a critical eye. “You doing okay now?”

“Ah—” His cheeks flushed, and he looked anywhere but at her. “Yeah. I’m better. Definitely better.”

The smile was half-forced, half-genuine, and 100% embarrassed. It felt so awkward, having so many people ask him how he was doing these last few days. The same kind of awkwardness as standing there while people sang happy birthday.

“I’m glad to hear that. Don’t start pushing yourself too hard again, okay?” She gave his shoulders a squeeze. “You’ve got people you can talk to.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Good.” With another smile she let him go. “Well then, let me show you to the back. Shane’s waiting for you.”

The blush deepened. “He is? Am I late or something?”

“No no. He just got here early. Right this way.”

She led Ashe through the short swinging saloon doors to the left of the room. His heart began to flutter in his chest; it wasn’t their first date, but… this felt different to the gridball game. He didn’t know what to expect.

They made their way down the hall and to the private dining room. A ‘reserved’ sign hung from the hook in the center of the door, which sat slightly ajar. A different song was playing through the crack; it was softer, melodic.

‘Oh no—was I supposed to dress fancier?’

A nervous thought raced through Ashe’s mind as they drew near. The music sounded almost classical, and he couldn’t help but feel like maybe he should have dressed up a bit more.

“Hey, Emily?”

She stopped and turned back to him. “Yeah?”

“Um, is my outfit okay?”

“Hmm…” She observed him again. “Do a little spin for me.”

He did, the anxiety rising at the unreadable expression on her face. It wasn’t like he’d come here in his farming best— dark-washed bootcut jeans, his lavender turtleneck beneath a white sleeveless vest, his good boots—but the insecurity was there. He couldn’t help but doubt.

After a moment, Emily’s face split into another smile. “Very cute—Shane’s going to go crazy.”

“Really?” Ashe’s face lit up at the praise and prediction both. It was a relief for a worry that he knew was unfounded. “Whew… Thank you~”

“Hey, there’s that sunshine smile! I was getting worried I wouldn’t get to see it before winter ends.”

 The private room was small, and quaint, styled much the same as the bar area. Paintings decorated the walls, and one of Emily’s own hand-woven rugs adorned the floor, upon which an aged oak table rested. The music was coming from a smaller radio resting atop a matching end table in the corner; candle wall sconces cast a warm and gentle glow upon the red hues of wood and fabric both.

Shane was already there, of course—and Ashe’s face turned several shades of tomato red as his eyes fell upon him. Though his back was to the door, it was clear that he’d cleaned up for tonight. His hair, which he’d been letting grow out, was freshly washed and styled; he wore a well-fitted, plain dark sweater tucked into new jeans, with a black leather belt. He turned his head in response to the door opening—he’d even gone so far as to shave.

“Hey, you made it…”

His own voice trailed off as his eyes fell on Ashe, and there was a moment of silence as they both just stared at each other, somewhat slack-jawed.

“Wow,” Emily looked between the two of them, “you really are made for each other. I’ll go and grab some menus and some drinks to get you started.”

She traipsed out, shutting the door quietly behind her. Shane cleared his throat, his face nearly as red as Ashe’s at that point.

“You, uh… you look good, chickadee.”

“Th-thanks.” Rubbing the back of his neck, Ashe shyly added, “you do too.”

Shane grinned self-consciously. “Heh, you think so? Kinda feels like my gut’s gonna bust through this sweater…”

Ashe tip-toed closer until he was completely leaning against him, and his voice trailed off. “You look amazing,” the farmer mumbled, his face hidden in the fabric of Shane’s chest. “I can’t handle it.”

That was enough to silence Shane’s self-doubt—or at least keep him from vocalizing it further. “Yoba, you’re too cute.” He took the opportunity to steal both a hug and a kiss from his boyfriend, lingering perhaps a bit longer thank he intended to upon his lips. “So… d’you wanna sit down?”

“Y-Yes, please.”

It was with only minor reluctance that Shane stepped away from him to pull one of the chairs out from the table. He gestured for Ashe to sit, and pushed the chair back into place when he did. All the while, he had to fight to keep his hands from shaking. It had been at least a decade since he’d been on a fancy dinner date like this before, let alone with someone he cared so deeply about. He wanted it to be perfect.

By the time he’d taken his own seat opposite Ashe, Emily had returned with glasses of ice water—lemon slices included—and two menus. “Here you go,” she said with another smile. “Take your time, and press the buzzer when you’re ready to order.”

“Thanks, Emily.”

She dipped back out the door again, and for a moment there was silence as they both skimmed the menu. “Order whatever you want,” Shane said, glancing up to see the conflicted look on Ashe’s face. “Don’t worry about prices. It’s my treat.”

“But—”

“No buts.” He grinned. “I can afford to splurge on my favorite dweeb every now and then.”

Ashe hid his blushing pout behind the menu. It was hard to focus on choosing, because every few seconds he couldn’t help peeking over the top to get another look at Shane.

“… What?” Shane caught him staring. “Did I nick myself when I was shaving or something?”

“N-No no—It’s just—” He hid behind the menu again, face redder than it had been before. “I-I never realized how good you look with long hair. Sorry, I’ll stop.”

Now it was Shane’s turn to become a tomato head. “Bud, you’re gonna give me an ego with all these compliments.” He looked through the menu a bit more. To be honest, he was in the mood for pizza, but he wanted to impress Ashe—

“Would you judge me if I said I wanted pizza?”

He lowered the menu to look at him again. There was a meek sort of grin on the farmer’s face, which he was quick to hide once more behind his own.

“Nevermind, I’ll—pick something else.”

“Actually, I was literally just thinking the same thing.” Shane dropped the menu onto the table. “Do you just wanna order a large and split it?”

“Oh my Yoba, yes please.”

So much for a romantic dinner. Shane’s expectations went out the door, and with them the hesitant awkwardness that hung in the air. It was like they both settled back into their skins, and once the 16-inch pie was on the table they dug in. No forks, no plates, just greasy slices in hand and a couple of paper napkins.

“Ahh, I’m in heaven~” Ashe practically melted into his chair. “Sssooo good…”

“Yeah, it’s been awhile since I had one of his pizzas.” A long strand of cheese stretched out from Shane’s mouth to the slice he’d taken a bite from. The sign of a quality cheese pie. “This cheese didn’t come from Hanako, did it?” He joked.

“I wish it did! She’s still just a baby though. I was kind of thinking I might see about getting a full-grown cow in the meantime—sometimes I worry that she’s lonely, being in that big barn all by herself at night.”

“What about Silva?”

“Oh, well… Silva kind of picks on her a bit. I had Robin build her a stable.”

Shane sighed. “Bugaboo, I’m not gonna lie—that horse scares me.”

“I’m not giving her up.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest that—” even though he really thought that was the best idea, “—I just want you to be extra careful with her. Please.”

The plea made Ashe deflate a bit. He picked up a strand of cheese that had fallen and nibbled on it before answering. “I will. Don’t worry, I haven’t tried to ride her yet. And I still really believe that she wouldn’t ever actually hurt me.”

“I sure hope that’s the case.”

Shane helped himself to another slice, hesitating only briefly in contemplation—it was going to be more calories to burn in the gym later—and taking a bite when he decided it was worth it.

After a minute, Ashe spoke again. “I, uh… I saw Dr. Vance yesterday.”

“Oh, that’s why you were gone. I was wondering.” Shane licked a bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth. “You don’t have to answer, but how’d it go?”

“It went… good.” The farmer began to gently rock back and forth in his chair. “A lot of talking. It was harder than I thought it would be.”

Shane could see that he was getting nervous. Wiping his hand on one of the napkins, he held it out to Ashe across the table; after a moment, Ashe took hold of it. “Yeah, it can be like that sometimes. But it’ll get better. Might not ever be easy, but better.”

“I hope so.” The warmth of Shane’s hand was comforting, and the rocking ceased after a minute. Ashe even managed to smile as he added, “I’m getting really tired of crying my eyes out already.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s part of the process.”

“Did you cry?”

“Oh yeah. More than I’m comfortable admitting, honestly.” He laughed. “So yeah, don’t feel bad about it. It’s different for everyone, and some of us just gotta cry before we can start moving on.”

“Yeah… I guess so.” Ashe shifted in his seat. “… I know I’m the one who brought it up, but… can we talk about something else?”  

“Of course. Uhhh…” A stream of air blew past Shane’s lips as he fished around for a different topic. Of course now of all times he was drawing a blank.

“You still haven’t told me what you want for Christmas.”

Shit, that was the one he was hoping to avoid. “Cos I don’t want anything. I’ve already got all that I could ask for.”

“Shane,” Ashe leaned forward a bit, a very serious expression on his face, “I’m gonna get you something. It might as well be something you actually want.”

“Oh! Shit, that reminds me. Would it be okay if Jas hung out at the farm with you tomorrow?”

Ashe blinked. “Uh—of course. Why?”

“Because me and Marnie are gonna get some shopping done in Zuzu. And both Penny and Jodi are gonna be busy, and I feel bad for all the times they babysit her already. We’ll pay you for it, of course.”

“Oh, nonono you won’t.” He shook his head.

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure. Use that money to get Jas an extra present.”

“Bud, believe me, she’s gonna have more presents than she knows what to do with.” Shane wiped his hands on his napkin again and took a sip of lemon water. “What about you? You haven’t told me what you want.”

Ashe went quiet. The truth was, what he wanted more than anything was something that he knew he could never get back. But… well, there was one other thing…

“I just don’t want to be alone. That… That’s all…”

This time Shane gently took hold of both hands. “Who says you will be? The Feast lasts all day, and you can hang out at the ranch with us after. Okay? Don’t even worry about that.”

“I-I’ll try.” Ashe drew a shuddering breath. The emotions had utterly blindsided him, but at least he’d managed to keep from crying… again. But he was going to end up with whiplash with how all over the place his emotions were.

“You know, there’s gonna be a big countdown in Zuzu on New Years’ Eve. Would you feel up to going?”

“… Y-Yeah.” He managed a small smile. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”  

[chain-unchained]

Honestly I think the dock heart event would be perfect for 14 hearts. It’s a great way to conclude his character development, back at the place where you got that first glimpse into his struggles. If you wanted to make it romantic you could put in a smooch and some cheesy line about how lucky Shane is to have met the Farmer, because we all know Shane is cheesier than a four-cheese pizza.

Been meaning to ask this one for awhile, but what are your thoughts on Shane's 14-heart event?

Not a fan tbh! To me, it reads like he swaps one addiction for another so :/

Like… there are so many other aspects of his personality and story that his 14-heart event could have focused on (to name a few: his relationships with Jas and Marnie, his chickens, gridball, his interest in film) but okay then let’s have one where the possibility of him relapsing is treated like a joke and the punchline is that he has a new addiction

In an ideal world, he’d have Alex’s 14-heart event and Alex would, y’know, not give up on his dreams completely as soon as he marries the farmer. It’d be a lovely way to cap Shane’s arc from loner who pushes people away > has some friends > has good relationships with his found family > actively works to do something nice and unifying for the community but oh well  ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ (also it’d be extra neat if this hypothetical Alex’s-14-heart-event-but-now-it’s-Shane’s-event happened at 8 hearts so you don’t have to marry him to get full character development, so I’d say an alternative 14-heart event for Shane could be something that’s entirely about him and the farmer.)

[chain-unchained]

December 12 - Part 4

Guys this part is ridiculously long and I am so sorry. I never meant to drag this out for this long and I just wanted to get it done. It’s important to the plot but I will be glad to get back to soft fluff. Anyway, hope you can enjoy this long ass read!

The spirits must have been on their side that day, for the impact of the Slime didn’t kill them outright. There was time to cut them free, and then he could hopefully use a warp totem to get them all out before the mine came crashing down upon their heads.

‘Just stay calm. You’ve trained with Marlon, you can do this.’

He held his sword aloft before him, then dashed in and cleaved the slime in two. Thus divided, it split into two smaller but still large slimes—Sam and Abigail were trapped in one, Sebastian in the other.

From the split also came several much smaller blobs, which eagerly latched onto Ashe’s legs in their fervent attempts to hug him.  The more he cut the big one, the more smaller ones popped out and clung to him. In seconds, he had dozens of them weighing down his limbs; he couldn’t even move.

“No, please—let go!” He was begging, desperate, and he didn’t care. “Please!!!”

His friends were just one cut away from freedom, and they were just out of his reach. The quaking was unbelievable, and with the weight of the little slimes on his body he lost his balance and fell to his hands and knees.

And then came forth dozens of monsters from deeper within the mine; it was seconds that felt like minutes later that he was deafened by the sound of the ceiling and walls collapsing from where the monsters had fled.

A piece of the rocky walls dislodged and struck him on the back, knocking him flat down to the earth and pinning him there. The wind was knocked from his lungs, and his sword tumbled from his grip.

‘Is this it?’

It was impossible to get his breath back. The rock on his back crushed his chest more each time he tried. The larger slimes carrying his friends danced in a panic just out of his reach as more chunks of the walls and ceiling came crashing down around them.

‘I really just got us all killed by slimes... It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have ever brought them here with me.’ His head drooped, his cheek resting against the uncomfortably warm earth. For a brief moment, he could smell the forest. ‘I’m sorry guys… I’m sorry Shane... I'm sorry Mom… and Grandpa… Am I… gonna be reincarnated as a slime…?’

 ####

 The world had gone dark, but now was swimming back into view. A clinical white ceiling greeted Ashe as he forced his heavy eyes open; his eyelids felt bruised. Actually, his entire body felt like it was just one massive bruise.

‘I’m… at the clinic?’

Gingerly, he sat up and looked around. The other beds in the recovery room bore Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail—all breathing. All alive. He sighed, relieved.

“…and that’s how I found them. Just like that.”

He heard Marlon speaking beyond the curtain dividers, and could faintly make out his silhouette along with Maru’s through them. They both spoke in hushed voices; Marlon was as composed and calm as ever, while Maru seemed to be borderline panicking.

“Thank Yoba that you did!” She wrung her hands anxiously. “Of course this happens on the one day Harvey’s not here.”

“Strange, that. He’s not one to leave town.”

“I know. But there’s a seminar being held in Zuzu City that he said he couldn’t miss.” The wringing intensified.  “This is a worst-case scenario.”

“Were their injuries that severe?”

“No, somehow—bumps, cuts, scrapes, bruises, and Sebastian managed to break his foot. But I’m not—I’m only an assistant. I’m not qualified to administer any aid without Harvey present.”

“A bit late to worry about that now. Besides, you seemed to know what you were doing to me.”

“I mean—I have a basic understanding of first aid, but like I said, I’m not allowed to perform it without Harvey being here.”

Ashe’s shoulders slumped as he looked down at his lap. He’d gotten so many people involved in this mess. Gotten his friends hurt, and almost killed. Put Maru at risk of losing her job.

The curtains abruptly were tugged open, and he jumped a little.

“Oh—you’re awake!” Maru sounded relieved, though still anxious. “Thank Yoba. How do you feel?”

“Uh—f-fine,” he fibbed with a meek smile, “just fine.”

He looked to Marlon, and the smile faded. The old swordsman’s face was as stoic as it ever was, but he could see the disappointment in his eyes.

“Never thought you’d lose to a slime, of all things. I suppose there’s a first time for everything, though.”

Ouch. That stung.

Across from his bed, Sebastian began to stir, and Maru quickly rushed to her half-brother’s side. “Sebastian…?”

“Ugh…” He groaned and lightly pushed her face away. “Give me a little space, would you?”

“Oh, Sebastian!”

Without warning she flung her arms around him in a tight hug. “I was so scared! I thought you were going to die!”

“Fuck’s sake—why does everyone try to choke me—” He tried in vain to pry her off of him. “Why the hell do you care, anyway?”

“What do you mean, why do I care?!” She pulled back, an angry expression on her tearful face. “You’re my big brother, of course I’m going to care about what happens to you!”

A flicker of guilt flashed across Sebastian’s face, and he looked away. “… Half brother.”

“Oh my Y—like that matters! Geez! You could at least apologize for scaring me and mom half to death!”

“I didn’t ask you to worry ab—” He stopped mid sentence. “You told mom?”

“Well, yeah!” She curled into herself a bit. “I kinda panicked and… maybe called Jodi too. And Caroline.”

“Yoba damnit,” he rubbed his forehead, “it’s not Mom’s business what I do. It’s not any of our mom’s business.”

Maru poked her fingers together. “I know. Look, I’m sorry, but I just—panicked, like I said. Harvey’s not here, and I didn’t know what to do. Besides, they were going to find out eventually, and they’d be even more upset then.”

“Shit, our moms are gonna finish the job for the slimes.” Sam had been awake for a minute at that point, just lying there listening to things play out as he came to.

Same for Abigail, who pushed herself to sit. “Well, fat lot of good putting fake names in the logbook did,” she said in a deadpan voice. “It’s been nice knowing you guys. Any second now they’re going to come bursting in through the door.”

“Er, actually… they’re in the waiting room.”

“Great.” She looked to Sebastian and Sam. “Might as well get it over with.”

Looking somewhat apologetic, Maru stepped out to fetch their mothers. There was a heavy air hanging in the room. It was awful.

“… How did you know we were in trouble?” Ashe asked of Marlon, who was still standing off to the side.

“Rasmodius reached out to me. Apparently the Junimos asked him to help you, and he in turn asked me.”

To say it was surprising was an understatement. Ashe didn’t think that the little spirits cared all that much for him, especially not since he hadn’t done much to fulfill their requests yet—

Once again the curtains were yanked abruptly open. There stood Robin, and Jodi, and Caroline, all wearing the look of mother bears on the rampage in search of their cubs. Terrifying didn’t even begin to describe the aura radiating from them.

“What were you thinking—”

“You nearly got yourselves killed—”

“How many times have I told you how dangerous those mines are—”

Their voices all overlapped in their attempts to admonish their children. There was no doubt that they were relieved to see them alive and well—the fact that they were so incensed was proof of that.

The heavy ball of guilt weighing down Ashe’s stomach compelled him to speak above them. “It’s not their fault.” In that instant, all their heads snapped to look at him instead of their children, and memories of such reprimands by his own mother flashed in his minds’ eye. “It’s mine,” he continued, somehow managing to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. “I’m the one who brought them into the mines with me.”

“Wh—it is not your fault, Ashe,” Sam insisted emphatically.

Sebastian nodded. “We’re the ones who asked to come along.”

“And I’m the one who got us into that situation,” added Abigail. “You told us that it was dangerous.”

There was a long moment of silence—awkward, heavy, painful silence. It was broken by the sound of Harvey all but skidding into the recovery room, looking mightily disheveled and thoroughly winded.

“Dr. Harvey!” Maru was relieved, and quickly sought shelter behind him.

“Ladies—” Hastily he attempted to straighten his lopsided tie and glasses, “I understand that you are concerned for their wellbeing, but I cannot allow you to stress my patients out. Much less before I’ve been able to examine them myself.”

“How can you expect us to be calm about all of this?” Robin gestured angrily towards her son, who was lying there with a look that begged to be put out of his misery. “We’ve told them countless times how dangerous those mines are, and they still went in!”

Harvey chose his words carefully. “With all due respect… they may be your children, but they are no longer children. At some point, you have to allow them to make their own decisions. Even if they still live under your roof. If you don’t, then they will be pressured into doing things like this behind your back.” He cleared his throat. “Now, please. I need to be able to examine them myself. Maru, could you bring them back to the waiting room?”

His tone left no room for arguments, and they reluctantly followed Maru out of the recovery area and back to reception. The four in the beds were stunned.

“Uh… Thanks for sticking up for us like that,” Sam said as the doctor pulled his wheely stool over to Sebastian’s bed.

“Hm? Oh, there’s no need to thank me for that. I only did what I felt was in your best interests as my patients.” With a faint smile curling up the ends of his mustache Harvey started to examine Sebastian. “I only got a little bit of the story over the phone with Maru—what exactly happened?”

Ashe swallowed guiltily, and began to recount the misadventure to him before the others could. Harvey just listened and nodded his head, moving from examining Sebastian to setting his broken foot in a cast. For a mercy, it was a brief summary. “… and Marlon brought us here,” he finished in a soft voice, picking at the thin white blanket covering his legs. “That’s pretty much it.”

“Well,” Harvey scooted over to Sam, “we can thank Yoba that things weren’t any worse. They could very well have been.”

Ashe cast his eyes back down to his lap. “I’m sorry…”

           “I didn’t say it to guilt you.” He smiled again. “Rather the opposite; there’s no need to dwell on what might have been. You’re all alive and safe now, and that’s what matters. That being said,” he swiveled around to Abigail’s bed, “it might be a good idea to stay out of the mines for the time being.”

“That won’t be an issue.” Marlon finally spoke again. “There was a massive collapse in the lower levels. Joja will want to close the mines to the public indefinitely.”

“Well there we go then.”

After a minute, it was Ashe’s turn, and he sullenly allowed Harvey to give him a thorough once-over. All he’d wanted was to fix up the community center; he didn’t want to put anyone in danger.

‘But that’s not really true. What I really wanted was something to distract myself from thinking.’ The community center was just a means to an end, an excuse. And maybe, just maybe… maybe he’d hoped something like this would have happened. Maybe he’d really hoped that one of these times he wouldn’t end up coming out of the mines.

As soon as that thought came into his mind, he physically shook it away, earning himself quite a look from Harvey. ‘That’s not true! Not even a little! I’m only thinking like this because I feel so guilty.’ He looked down at his hands resting on his lap. Abby had been right; he couldn’t keep carrying on like this. It was tearing him apart.

After a few more minutes, Harvey was satisfied that Sebastian’s broken foot was the most severe injury among the four. He still needed to set the man up with a pair of crutches and show him how to use them, but was content to let the rest filter out of the recovery area and towards reception.

“Ugh, I’m not looking forward to getting home…” Sam’s voice dripped with dread. “Even if Mom listens to what Harvey said, it’s still gonna be awkward as hell. She’s probably gonna want me to pay for my bill.”

Abigail’s face fell at the thought. “Ugh, tell me about it. And we didn’t even get to bring back anything from the mines so we don’t have anything we can sell.”

Well, there was something that Ashe could do to start repairing the damage he’d caused. With the both of them lulling behind him, he pushed the swinging doors to reception open.

The mothers’ heads popped up at the sound, and the conversation they’d been having ceased at once. There was a sort of muted look on each of their faces, and Caroline and Jodi rose to give their kids what was a much-needed hug.

“Harvey’s helping Sebastian with crutches,” Ashe said to Robin, who had gone a bit pale when she saw that her son was not among them. “And, um… I’d like to pay for everyone’s medical bills.”

Surprise flickered across the faces of everyone in the room. He could see that Sam and Abby were opening their mouths to protest his offer, and so he hastily added, “It’s the least I can do.”

“Honey, the thought is appreciated,” Caroline put her hand on his shoulder, “but the bills are already taken care of. Just please, be more careful next time.” She turned to her daughter. “Let’s go, Abigail. We have a lot we need to talk about…”

One by one Ashe watched his friends file out of the clinic with their mothers. He did his best to put on a smile and wave them off; after all, they were able to leave on their own two feet (well, Sebastian on one). That was worth smiling about, wasn’t it?

“Are you gonna be okay?” Maru asked as he turned to pay for his own bill. “To walk home, I mean.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, still managing to smile, “I’ll be fine—”

No sooner had the door swung closed behind Jodi did it swing back open. “Ashe?” panted Shane, his face red from exertion and the cold of the evening air. He was still in his Joja uniform, which was disheveled from his haste to get to the clinic from the mart.

“Shane?” Ashe’s eyes widened in surprise as he turned to face him. They only widened further as the man strode forward and folded him into a gentle hug.

“Thank fuck…” he whispered in between breaths. He was shaking. “Maru made it sound like you were on your deathbed.”

“Oh, er—” Behind the counter, Maru fidgeted guiltily. “Sorry.”

A new lump formed in Ashe’s throat, taking the place of his voice so he couldn’t speak. It hit him in that moment just how differently things could have turned out, and how happy he was to see Shane again.

“I-I…” His chin quivered, and tears began to well up in his eyes as he brought his arms up to squeeze Shane back. “I-I’m sorry…!”

 ####

 It was a slow walk back to the farm. Shane insisted on it, wanting Ashe to take it easy despite his insistence that he was just a little sore.

“Easy, easy does it,” the older man coaxed, helping Ashe up the front stairs—it was at that point that the pain really was catching up to him, and it showed. “I’ve got you.”

“Th-thanks…”

The stairs cleared, Shane held the door open for him. It was pleasantly warm inside the farmhouse, a welcome change from the bitter cold. Mr. Blue jumped over the back of the couch to greet them as they stepped inside, wending his way through both of their legs with audible purrs.

“I think he was worried about you.” Shane carefully nudged the orange cat out from around their feet so they could make it over to the couch. “Where do you keep your medicine and shit?”

With a wince Ashe let himself be lowered onto the cushions, the pain easing up just a touch when he did. “Uh… in the kitchen. Top left drawer next to the sink.”

“Okay. Sit tight.”

Ashe watched him root around in the drawer. “What are you looking for?”

“What do you think, dweeb? I’m looking for pain killers.” Shane looked at him. “You’re hurting pretty good, and don’t even try to deny it.” His fingers closed around what he was looking for, and he brought two small tablets back to Ashe along with a glass of water. “Here.”

“Oh, uh—thank you…” Ashe popped them into his mouth and took a sip of the water to help them down. “… I, um… I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the glass.

“You already said that, you know. Three times. On the way here.” Shane sighed and shook his head. “Seriously, what am I gonna do with you?”

“… I don’t know.” Setting the glass on the end table to his left, Ashe tugged his knees up against his chest and buried his face into them.

After a moment, Shane took the cushion next to him. “Ashe, what’s really going on here?” He asked. “There’s obviously something bothering you and making you not act like yourself.”

Silence. Then, “I miss her…”

“Your mom?” He wrapped an arm around Ashe’s shoulders as the farmer gave a tiny nod of his head. “I had a feeling. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I-I do, b-but… I-I’m scared that it’s gonna mess up your recovery somehow…”

“Bud, that’s not—those two things have nothing to do with each other. Seriously. And even if they did,” he gave a gentle squeeze, mindful of Ashe’s soreness, “I’m in a place now where I can handle it. And that’s got a lot to do with you. I’m not gonna force you to talk about it if you really don’t want to, but I’m here for you. You can lean on me for this.”

More silence. “I don’t remember what that’s like…��� He sniffled, trying his hardest not to start bawling again. “I-I was taking care of Mom for so long that I forgot how to rely on others.”

“She was sick, right?”

“Y-Yeah. Cancer. I ended up taking her place at Joja so she could stay on their insurance.” There was another pause as he drew a deep shuddering breath. “I-I didn’t even get to attend her funeral. My b-boss wouldn’t give me the day off for it. It was the worst way to start the year.”

“Wait, this happened on New Years? This year?”

Ashe nodded again. “I-I didn’t really… y’know, have a chance to process any of it. Work, work work. And then I remembered Grandpa’s envelope, and… I came here. It was nice, having so much to do and people to distract me from… everything. But I can’t ignore winter no matter how hard I try…”

His voice broke, and the tears that he’d been trying so hard to hold back burst forth. “I-It’s not fair! She was all I had! I was all she had! A-And I was working so much that I couldn’t even be there for her most of the time! I had to watch her waste away from a distance! And now Joja wants to take even more way from me! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!!!!”

The room became filled with his anguished sobs, and Shane gently pulled him into another hug. “It’s not, you’re right. It never is.”

For what felt like forever, Ashe cried. He cried out the feelings that he’d kept pent up over the year. And when he had no more tears left to shed, he rested against Shane, completely spent.

“Did that help at all?” Shane’s voice was low and soothing as he brushed the bangs from Ashe’s face.

“… I don’t know…”

“That’s fine. It takes time.” He held him close. “Look, if you feel like you need to cry, come and cry on me. Okay? Doesn’t matter when or where it is.”

It took a moment, but Ashe nodded. He wondered if this was what Shane felt like when he was looking out at those cliffs on that rainy day…  

[chain-unchained]

December 12 - Part 3

This one’s long and dramatic. And it’s still not over. Longest. Day. *Ever*.

The elevator continued its descent; the rocky surfaces all around them began to shift in color, going from light muddy browns to burnt umber and musty reds.

“Holy shit, Ashe, how far have you been digging in here?” Sebastian could hardly speak, Sam was so tightly wound around his neck.

The farmer anxiously rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Not far enough, honestly. And I can’t take all the credit for this,” he fiddled with the scarf around his neck, contemplating whether or not to remove it for the time being, “Percy’s been coming down here a lot lately too.”

“I think it’s cool.” Abigail reached out and let her fingers brush against the moving rockfaces. “You get to actually fight real monsters and stuff. Like looking at you, no one would think that you’re actually a badass warrior.”

“I-I’m not though, really. I try to avoid the monsters as much as I can.”

“Whaaaat? Okay, that’s kinda lame.”

Sebastian flicked her forehead. “Not everyone is as bloodthirsty as you are, y’know.”

“I’m not bloodthirsty!” Her cheeks puffed out in a puff as she rubbed the red spot left behind. “I’m just so bored of the quiet country lifestyle. You have to be bored of it too, right Ashe? You used to live in the city after all.”

“Actually,” he smiled bashfully, “I really like how peaceful it is here. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Her pout intensified. “Well—well, you’re just saying that cos you get to cheat and come kill monsters whenever you want. And your farm work keeps you super busy, too!” She pointed a finger at him. “You’re just a big cheater.”

“Uh—“ At a loss, he gave another awkward smile, “sorry?”

“Hmph.” She turned away and folded her arms across her chest. “Cheater.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as the elevator came to a shuddering stop at the bottom of the mine shaft. “Okay Sam, we’ve stopped moving—you can stop suffocating me now.”

“We are? Oh thank Yoba—”

Both Sam and Abby fought to be the first ones off of the elevator. It was dark and warm where it let them off, dimly lit from the torches that Ashe had put up from his last visit.

“I’m never getting back on that death machine ever again,” Sam wheezed, knees buckling from the legitimate fear that had been gripping him.

“Well that sucks for you,” Sebastian jerked his thumb back towards the elevator, “cos that’s our only way out.”

“Noooooo…!” He dropped to the ground in a heap of despair. “I can’t, my heart can’t take anymore of that…!”

“It’ll be okay, Sam.” Ashe knelt down beside him and patted his shoulder gently. “We’ll distract you the whole time so you don’t have to think about it. Okay?”

“No, not okay,” he sniffed with a shake of his head, “but… okay.”

Ashe helped him back to his feet and brushed some of the dirt from his knees. “Alright. You guys all stay behind me, and stick close. There are some really nasty monsters roaming around down here.”

“Laaaame…” Abigail took her hand off of the hilt of her sword with a dramatic sigh. “You gotta at least let me get the first kill in. I need this.”

“Abby,” Sebastian put his hand on her shoulder, “you need to calm down.”

“More like you guys need to get more pumped up!” Despite what Ashe just said, she pushed her way to the front of the group. “C’mon, we’re exploring a real life monster-filled mine! And Ashe has been coming down here by himself all this time, why are we so freaked out when there’s four of us here?”

Ashe hesitated. “That’s… a good point, actually…”

“Right?” Abby fell back enough to walk beside him and flashed a wide grin. “We can take on anything that comes our way with the power of friendship! And anime! But not Yoba. That asshole can stay out of our way.”

“Pfft—” The last bit was enough to make Ashe dissolve into a fit of laughter. He didn’t realize just how badly he needed to laugh.

“There we go! That’s much more like it.” Her grin got even bigger as she began to walk backwards—it was easier to talk this way. “Seriously, you’ve been so down in the dumps lately that I thought you’d forgotten how to laugh.”

“Yeah, we noticed that too.” Sam wrapped an arm around the farmer’s shoulders. “What’s been on your mind?”

“N-Nothing—it’s nothing—oh no, I can’t breathe—” He had to stop walking, doubling over and hugging his stomach until the laughter began to subside. A few giggles lingered as he straightened up and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I-I don’t know why that got me so good… ahhh… I’m okay. I’m okay, really.”

“You sure about that, buddy?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “And really, nothing’s been on my mind lately. It’s just that winter’s a bad time for me.”

Abigail put her hand on her hip. “Because your mom died around this time, right?”

“Abby!” Sam and Sebastian were appalled. The smile faded from Ashe’s face.

“What?” She asked.

“You can’t just say that kind of shit.” Sebastian rubbed his face. “Have some goddamn tact or something.”

“Life’s too short and we could die down here, so what’s the point of beating around the bush?” She turned back to Ashe. “It’s not hard to put 2 and 2 together. Look, if you need someone to talk to about it, you can talk to us. Or Shane. That’s not the kind of shit that you should keep bottled up.”

“I-I don’t—”

“Like seriously, you should know this since you’re dating him and all. Isn’t this the kind of stuff that you had to beat into his head?”

“That’s not—”

“Just how long do you think you can keep going like this? You’re just going to get depressed next winter if you keep ignoring it like you have been—”

“Rrrr—CAN I PLEASE SAY SOMETHING?!”

Ashe didn’t mean to explode, but that was exactly what he did. His voice rose uncontrollably, bouncing off of the narrow corridor they stood in as his friends stared at him with wide eyes and slightly slack jaws.  

“Uh… y-yeah, sure, go ahead.”

With shaking hands Ashe rubbed at the lower part of his face. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said simply, his voice and chin quivering with each word. “I don’t—it’s still too painful.” His voice broke, and his eyes stung with tears desperately fought back as he whispered, “I d-don’t want anyone to see me cry…”

“Aww, Ashe…” Sam pulled him into a hug, and Sebastian shot Abby a dirty look. “C’mon, it’s okay. This is what friends are for, y’know.”

“N-No—please, I don’t—want—”

It was too late. The floodgates had been opened, and just as he had dissolved into laughter not five minutes ago he dissolved into sobs that were muffled by Sam’s shoulder. It was embarrassing. There was nothing that felt good about breaking down like this in front of others. But there was nothing that he could do to stop the tears, or the emotions that brought them on.

“That’s it, just let it all out.” Sam patted his back with a faint smile. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just know that we’re all here for you.”

It took everything Ashe had in him to eventually stop the tears, and a minute later he pulled back from Sam to rub at his reddened eyes with a sniff. “Sucks… S-Sorry, I tried so hard…”

“Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for.” Sebastian took a puff on the cigarette he’d lit. “Sometimes you just gotta cry.”

“Oh?” Abby elbowed him with a smirk. “That something you have a lot of experience with, Seb?”

“Fuck off.”

The exchange was enough to get a half-laugh, half sob from Ashe.

“Hey, there’s another laugh.” Abby’s smirk softened to a smile. “So do you feel any better now?”

“N-No, not really…” With a shuddering sigh, Ashe dried what was left of his tears on his sleeves and did his best to smile. “But I really don’t like to cry, so. I’m okay now.” He moved to the front of the group and unsheathed his trusty sword. “Besides, there’s no time to waste. We’ve got monsters to slay and loot to find! FOR THE G!”

“Hell yeah!” Abigail was right there beside him, her own sword drawn as they led the charge. Sam and Sebastian had to break into a brisk jog to keep up with them.

 ####

 It wasn’t long before they ran into trouble. A few red-tinted slimes, some magma bats, nothing too major. It was largely disappointing for Abby, who stood off to the side pouting as the others dug into a fat gold vein.

“This sucks,” she huffed, “I was promised monsters and all I’ve gotten are weak level 1 mobs.”

“Y’know,” Sebastian grunted with the swing of his pickaxe, “most people wouldn’t be complaining about that.”

She flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah, well, I’m not like most people.”

“’I’m so quirky, I’m not like other girls’,” Sam teased.

“Hey, that subreddit doesn’t apply to me because I’m actually not like other girls.”

“That’s what they all say, you know.”

Having fallen largely quiet in his concentration on mining, Ashe just sort of listened to them playfully argue. It was fun to just be a party to the conversation, and it helped with keeping his mind occupied.

‘This should be enough to trade for some better tools, I think.’ He picked up a few chunks of mined ore and inspected them with a hopeful glint in his eyes. It was more cost-efficient to trade materials like this for upgrades instead of paying for them outright. ‘Would be nice if we could hit a gem vein while we’re here—’

The conversation lulled, and in the brief moment of silence Ashe heard a strange noise in the distance. It was a noise that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Get down!”

Once more his voice reverberated around the space as he tackled his friends to the floor. Not a second later, a giant flaming fireball whizzed over their heads, ricocheting against the walls and bouncing all around before it exploded a few feet away.

“Holy—” Sam coughed as a thick smoke filled the air. “Where the hell did that come from?!”

“Keep your head down,” Ashe pushed him back down, straining his eyes to see through the smoke. He could faintly make out a round form hovering in the air at the far end of the tunnel. “Marlon calls them ‘squid kids’. It won’t notice us if we stay still.”

“Oh, to hell with that.”

Against his warnings, Abigail scrambled to her feet. With hand on the hilt of her sword again, she darted right towards the monster.

“Abby, don’t!!!”

Letting out a battle cry that would make any warrior proud, she drew the sword and cleanly cut the Squid Kid in two before it had a chance to get off another fireball. The three stared in stunned silence as she skidded to a stop, coolly sheathing her blade and turning to look back at them.

“C’mon, it was one mob. We’ve got the power of friendship and anime on our side, remember?”

Ashe let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding—only for his heart to stop in his chest again as a shadow moved behind her. He was on his feet in the blink of an eye, racing towards where she stood triumphant. There wasn’t time for him to yell out a warning. The others did it for him.

“Shit—look out!”

Sebastian and Sam scrambled to follow in his footsteps as the shadow fell over Abigail. Realization dawned on her face, and she turned to find a pair of angry beady eyes glaring down at her from within the amorphous blob that was Slime EX.

After a second, she turned to look back at the boys racing towards her. “Really, guys?” She asked, wholly unimpressed. “You’re panicking over a slime? What’s it gonna do, squish me to death?”

Almost as if her words caused the Slime deep offense, its entire body jiggled with a gurgly roar—the sound was enough to send dust crumbling from the ceiling above. The color started to drain from her face as it jumped, much higher than she thought it could.

There wasn’t enough time. The slime came down on top of her before any of them could reach her, absorbing her into its gelatinous center as they came to a screeching stop just a short distance away. It was horrific, watching her clutch at her own throat as the Slime’s insides slowly suffocated her.

But the Slime wasn’t content with just one meal, and its sights shifted to the three still standing before it. It leaped again, and they began to backpedal as quickly as they could—but it wasn’t fast enough. There wasn’t time. Sam grabbed hold of Ashe by the back of his shirt and hurtled him backwards, a split second before the Slime squished down on him and Sebastian too.

The throw was enough to send Ashe through the air, and he hit the ground in an unceremonious heap. “Oh my Yoba—GUYS!” He screamed, picking himself up in time to see them swallowed up.

With each jump, the Slime’s massive size had sent tremors throughout the mine. The second time, the quaking didn’t stop, sending chunks of the walls and ceiling tumbling down all around. The entire mine was starting to collapse.

[chain-unchained]

December 12 - Part 2

It was like déjà vu, walking into the mines; it was hard to believe that their nearly ill-fated adventure was only a few months past. It felt like a lifetime ago, even though the harrowing encounter with the slime boss was still fresh in their minds.

For Abigail of course it was just a brand new adventure, uncharted territory waiting to be explored. “Alright, so how does this work?” Her impatience dripped from every word as the boys filed in behind her. “Do we sign in or something?”

“Yeah—er, well,” Ashe stopped at the sight of the unmanned rescue station, “usually, at least… that’s… weird. I could have sworn that Ellie would be here today…” For Abby’s sake, he clarified, “Usually there’s someone here to check us in.”

“Oh, you’d have loved her Abby.” Sam elbowed her with a grin. “She was a real cutie. Real shy, too. Totally your type.”

Her face fell. “Really? Damn it. I’ll have to sneak up here on another day and try to meet her. Penny’s the only other girl in town that I’d consider and she’s too into Maru to pay me any mind…” She sighed. “You boys have it so easy.”

“Well,” Ignoring that, Sebastian blew on his frigid fingers to warm them as Ashe looked over the log book, “what’s the plan now, Ashe? Are we still gonna go in or what?”

“… It… should be okay.” There was real hesitation in his voice, though his uncertainty was eased somewhat by the sight of Percy’s signature on today’s page. Besides, if something did happen to go wrong, he did have that as a last resort. “I think as long as we sign in we’ll be okay.”

Abby cocked a brow. “Why do we need to sign in if there’s no one here?”

“Trust me, Joja will know and you’ll be banned in a heartbeat.”

He scrawled his name hastily in the entry beneath Percy’s and stepped back so that his friends could do the same. While they did that, he stepped behind the station and retrieved a box full of safety equipment for them to make use of. After what happened last time—not to mention this growing sense of foreboding-- he didn’t want to take any chances.

By the time he returned to the sign in desk, Abby had finished adding her name to the book. At least, he had expected it to be her name, but instead—

“Really?” Sebastian was wholly unimpressed. “You used your Discord handle?”

“Like I’m dumb enough to put my actual name in here.” She twirled the pen between her fingers, wearing a cheeky grin all the while. “I’m not gonna risk mom and dad finding out. They’d flay me alive.”

Both Sebastian and Sam exchanged a long look; after a second, Sam snatched the pen from her and they both hastily amended their sign ins.

“Speaking of Discord,” she pointed a painted nail at Ashe, “you need to give me yours so I can invite you to our server. I’ve been meaning to ask you for awhile now but it always kept slipping my mind. And don’t even think of giving me that ‘I’m too busy’ b.s.,” she added as the farmer opened his mouth, “I know for a fact that you’re scrambling for stuff to do now that winter’s here.”

“I-I wasn’t going to say that--” he absolutely was, “--I was just going to say that I don’t have a Discord.”

“Well you have a phone, right? Or a laptop?”

He shook his head. “Not anymore.” That one day of rotten luck had seen to that.

“… Wait, really? But—” She was aghast. “How do you survive?”

Sebastian paused in the middle of strapping a hard hat onto his head. “Really? You’re just now learning this?”  

“I already said that it kept slipping my mind!” She strode forward and grasped Ashe’s face with both hands. “Seriously, how do you not have at least one of those things in this day and age?!”

Now Ashe was feeling quite embarrassed. “I just—never have the time to use them, so there wouldn’t be a point to replacing—”

“Oh, I so know what you’re getting for the Feast this year.”

“N-No no, actually no, please don’t—” He paused. “Wait. Feast?”

Sam tugged off his gloves and tugged on a pair of work ones. “Yeah. The Feast of the Winter Star.”

“… What’s that?”

“Oh, right, you’re from the city. It’s just another festival. It’s how Pelican Town celebrates Christmas.” He grinned. “There’s a big feast, and everyone does a Secret Santa present exchange. Nothing too crazy, but it’s kinda fun to shop for a gift for a different person every year.”

Sebastian grimaced. “Yeah, it’s fun until you get Haley as your secret buddy. I got her last year.”

“And I got her the year before.” Abby strapped on some protective gear, but stopped short of the hard hat. “God, that sucked. She totally shit on the gift I got her.”

“Haley does kinda have rich white girl tastes,” Sam nodded.

Even if she did… “I know that she can be… hard to deal with,” Ashe fidgeted with his own hard hat, “but she’s not that bad…”

All three of them looked at him like he’d just said the earth was flat.

“Yeah, she’s over the top, and she’s loud, and she isn’t afraid to speak her mind, but… she’s a person too, y’know? And she knows that nobody likes her…”

Now their attention shifted from him to each other. “Are you feeling alright?” Sam finally asked.

“Huh? Yeah, of course… I just… Y’know what, nevermind.” He slapped his own cheeks and unstrapped the pickaxe from his back. “Why are we standing around talking when there’s loot to be had?”

The sudden about-face didn’t go unnoticed by his friends. It was eerily similar to the one he pulled the last time—compounded by him just not seeming like himself recently. But it was hard to have a conversation with someone’s back, and so they had to hastily follow him into the elevator leading into the left mineshaft—well, Sebastian and Abby followed, dragging a reluctant Sam behind them. The blonde had a severe case of claustrophobia and fear of elevators.

“This is new.” Sebastian said, with Sam clinging to him for dear life as the elevator began its rickety descent into the depths of the shaft.

“Mhm. Joja installed it… last month, I think?”

“Damn. You’ve been hitting this place that hard?”

Ashe grinned meekly.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Because I have no sense of restraint and this is par for the course for me?”

“… Actually, yeah. That just about sums it up.” He patted Sam’s back. “You’re okay, Sam. Nothing’s gonna happen. You can let go of me now.”

“Y-You don’t know that for sure!” If anything, Sam only clung to him harder, and Sebastian just rolled his eyes and put up with it. There was no getting out of that vicelike grip once it was locked.

 ####

 Even though it was the bastion of the very thing that he was once addicted to, Shane still made it a habit to visit the Saloon after work. It was a place to go that wasn’t straight back to ranch—of course he loved the place, but there was something suffocating about heading straight home after an eight hour hell shift stocking shelves. And the free sparkling juice that Gus would slip him was nice. It helped with the cravings.

“Hey Shane!” Emily was the first to greet him as he stepped in through the swinging double doors. She usually was, always with a smile. “Glad to see you! I wasn’t sure if you would be up to visiting with all that snow out there.”

“I mean, this place is right on the way home, so it’s not like I have to go out of my way or anything.” He took a seat at the bar, and on cue Gus set a cup of sparkling something in front of him—might have been cranberry just on first sniff. “Thanks, Gus. This a new drink or something?”

“It is, it is.” The portly fellow was all smiles as well as he cleaned a mug. “Courtesy of our favorite farmer. I thought you ought to have the honors of giving it the first tasting.”

“Well shit, I better not say anything bad about it.” He took a swig and let the flavor mull over his tongue. It was equal parts sweet and tart, and nicely carbonated—it tasted vaguely like the fruity drinks that he once was into, back in his edgy high school years. “That’s pretty nice.”

“As expected of produce from Ashe’s farm.” Emily leaned against the counter. “Speaking of, how’s he doing lately? It feels like an age since I last saw him.”

“Fine, as far as I can tell. Still a crazy busybody always doing something.” He sighed and swirled the deep red liquid around in the cup. “Won’t lie, I’m starting to get real worried about him.”

“Oh? How come?”

“Just—how do I put it? He just doesn’t seem like himself lately. He’s saying and doing all the usual stuff, but… iunno,” he shrugged his shoulders, “I just get this feeling that it’s an act.”  

“Well, if anyone could tell it’d be you. You know more about him than anyone else.”

“But that’s just it!” He threw his hands up. “He’s so tight-lipped that even after—fuck, how many months has he been here--?”

“Nine months,” Gus answered, bemused.

“Thank you-- after nine months, I know basically fuck-all about him.” With his fingers he began to count what he did know, “I know he lived near the capitol, I know he used to work for Joja, and I know—well, I’m pretty sure that his mom died. That’s it. Fuck, I don’t even know if he has allergies. That’s bad, right?”

Emily tapped her finger against her lips, contemplating. “Mmm… Not necessarily? Doesn’t it just mean that that stuff hasn’t come up yet? I mean, are you expecting him to just sit you down and go ‘this is my life story’ like in a badly written movie or book?”

“No, what—of course not.”

“Well then, what’s the problem? If it really bothers you so much, talk to him about it. Tell him that you would love to hear more things about him from time to time.” Playfully she poked him with her elbow. “Some people just need that little extra nudging to open up, after all.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right on that… Maybe I can get the ball rolling on one of our dates. Oh, speaking of,” he set his glass down and turned to Gus, “can I reserve the back room for the next few Sundays?”

Once more Gus looked amused. “Are you finally going to take me up on that offer I made when you first got together?”

“Maybe. This is literally the only thing I could think of to make him take a break, short of strapping him to a chair in front of a TV.”

Emily hid a laugh behind her hand. “I’m glad you’re choosing this instead of that. Maybe you can talk him into stopping by sometimes, too. I miss that sunshine he brings with him.”

“I’ll try, but no promises.” Shane finished off the drink and paid for the reservations. Honestly, he missed that sunshine too…

[chain-unchained]

December 12 - Part 1

Ashe didn’t care much for the snow. Every morning that he woke up to it blanketing his farm was a painful reminder that it was winter. Winter itself was painful, the memories associated with it etching themselves afresh upon him whenever he had a moment to think.

Winter was when the diagnosis came in. New Years’ Eve.

Winter was when she left this world. New Years Day, one year later.

It was Spring when he came to the valley. There hadn’t been time to mourn. No time to grieve. The farm needed him, just like she had. He didn’t want to lose that, too.

The farm gave him an escape, something to occupy his mind. Every day was so busy, so packed full of activity—there was never enough time in the day.

But now with winter’s return, there was nothing but time. The farm required so little from him. Tending to his ever-growing flock of animals only took a few hours at most, and the rest of the day stretched out before him. Taunting him.

That was the real reason why, despite Shane’s plea for him to take it easy, that he insisted on visiting the mines. It was dangerous there; if he let his mind wander, the monsters would catch him off-guard.

That was the real reason why he now dragged himself through the snow-covered mountain pass to dive into the mines again. Even as fatigue turned his limbs to lead, even as the cold bit at his face and turned his skin red, even as the wind howled in his frozen ears.

And though he knew that Shane would let him offload all of this and more, he couldn’t bring himself to speak of it. Not to him, and not to anyone else. His mother’s death was his burden to carry. Her blood was on his hands.

‘I could have done more.’

‘I should have done more.’

‘If I had worked harder, she’d still be here.’

‘If I had helped more, she wouldn’t have gotten sick.’

Even now these thoughts and more clawed at his mind, in the brief moment of time that he let it stray. They were oppressive, suffocating, all-consuming.

So much so that he was blind to the errant snowball flying towards him—it was only when it pelted him square in the face that he came back down to earth, sprawled out upon its snow-covered face and staring up at the cloudy sky wondering what had just hit him.

“Shit—sorry Ashe, that wasn’t meant for you!”

Sam extended a hand out to help him to his feet, and still in a daze he accepted the assistance. “You didn’t hit your head or anything, did you?”

“Oh, no… I’m okay.” Ashe’s red face flushed further with embarrassment as Sebastian and Abigail came jogging over to check him as well, and Sam knocked some of the snow clinging to his clothes off. “Sorry, did I walk into your snowball fight?”

“Kinda, yeah. No big deal though.”

Abigail plucked a twig from the farmer’s hair and twirled it between her fingers like a drumstick. “Are you heading into the mines again?”

“Mhm. Gotta get that G.”

“Ooooh. Mind if we tag along? I didn’t get to go with the last time you all went in together.”

Company? His mind flashed back to the near-death experience they’d had with the Slime EX, but… maybe company would be just the thing to keep him from brooding. “Uh, sure. Won’t your folks get mad, though?”

“Pssh.” She airily waved her hand. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Sebastian snorted. “Yeah, that’s what we thought last time. They caught us red-handed on the way out.”

“Well we’ll just have to be more careful then.” Rubbing her gloved hands together with glee, “So how does this work? Do we need to get weapons at the Adventurer’s Guild or something first?”

“Oh, er—yeah, that might not be a bad idea. There’s been a lot more monsters roaming around lately, especially further down.”

“Yesssss! Finally, an excuse to use a real sword instead of replica ones!”

Both Sam and Sebastian took several steps away from her, but there was no escaping now—she grabbed them both by the wrists and dragged them along with preternatural strength. They were going on a mining adventure even if it killed them.

It very nearly would.

[chain-unchained]

December 5th Part 2

Rather than dragging him all the way to the mines as Shane had been expecting, Ashe led him through the town and up north. Past the playground where Penny often took  Jas and Vincent to play, beyond the fountain that was half-frozen over, until they stood in the shadow of the abandoned community center.

In years past, it had been a proud symbol of Pelican Town, where the townsfolk would gather and spend their days together—cooking in the kitchen, tending the community garden in the main room, hosting movie marathons on the dated CRT TV they would pull in front of the fireplace.

The memories of the past still lingered as they stepped through the door into the musty open area of the main room. Nature had moved in once the center had been abandoned, with vines and moss growing like weeds throughout.

“Okay, so,” Shane’s voice echoed through the empty space as they knelt before a plaque on the floor in the old crafts room, “what exactly are we looking at?”

“It’s a note from the spirits of the forest.”

To Shane, the gold-plated plaque was inscribed with illegible text; viewed through Ashe’s eyes, though, the letters formed coherent sentences. “It says,

We the Junimo are happy to aid you. In return, we ask for gifts from the valley. If you are one with forest magic then you will see the true nature of this scroll.”

“Uh… huh.” Shane raised a brow. “And you just happened to be one with the forest magic?”

“Well, not exactly. Rasmodius had to brew me a special potion first. It was gross.”

“… Right. We’re gonna have to unpack that one later—what does this have to do with the mines, exactly?”

“Basically, the Junimos are saying that they’ll help me restore this place in return for gifts from the valley.” Ashe sat back and looked around at the dusty room. “Everyone who lived here before it was abandoned always talks so fondly about this place. And Mayor Lewis told me back in spring that Joja’s on the verge of buying it out just like the farm.”

Shane shifted to sit with his legs straight out in front of him since they were starting to cramp. “Probably gonna turn it into a warehouse or something. Why do these Junimos care what happens to the community center though?”

“Iunno. It’s really hard to communicate with them outside of these scrolls—I have no idea what they’re exactly asking for. But,” he traced his finger along the engraved letters, “I think that if I can figure it out and get this place restored and win my grandpa’s farm back, it might be enough to send Joja packing out of the valley.”

“I mean, it’s not a bad idea, and I’d love to see it happen, but—I still don’t get what this has to do with the mines. You just said it yourself that you don’t know what these Junimos want, how do you know you’ll find any of it in the mines?”

“I don’t, but that’s exactly why I gotta go looking! I gotta throw as much stuff as I can at them until I figure it out.”

Shane stared at him, flabbergasted. “Your logic’s a little loose there, bud.” He sighed. “Look, I know that there’s nothing I can do to change your mind, and I’m not even gonna try. Just…”

He took hold of Ashe’s hand and laced their fingers together. “You’re taking on too much. It’s not your responsibility to fix this place up, just like it wasn’t your responsibility to fix me. If the center was that important to everyone, they’d be doing something about it themselves.”

“Sometimes people get so beat down that they don’t realize they can still fight back.”

“… Point proven, but I still stand by mine. Don’t just make this place your problem, make it everyone’s problem. That’ll do a lot more to bring the community together than just slapping a new paint job on this place.”

“But…” He started to pout. “I want it to be a surprise. Like my big goal was to get it fixed up by Christmas next year. Imagine the look on everyone’s faces when they see it.”

Shane sighed again. “There’s no changing your mind about this, is there?”

“Nope.”

“Was worth a try.” He mulled some ideas over in his head. “… Alright, I’ll quit pestering you to take it easy. On one condition. You and me have a date night on Sundays.”

“A date night? Why?”

“Because we’re dating and I would like to spend some time with you? Besides, this way I can get you to slow down for at least one night. Maybe keep you from collapsing from exhaustion.” He gave Ashe’s hand a squeeze. “C’mon bud, I’m not asking for a whole lot here. Just some time and peace of mind. It’s not gonna kill you.”

Ashe pouted more. “Fiiiine…”

“Gee, don’t get too excited there. I know I’m boring as fuck but is it really more fun to run around than spend time with me?”

“N-No, that’s not—that’s not what I meant.” Fearful that he’d hurt Shane’s feelings, Ashe was quick to pepper the man’s knuckles with kisses. “I’m just stubborn and don’t like being told to take it easy.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” It was enough to get a smile out of Shane, who pulled him close for a hug. “You’re way too driven for someone who just turned 20. People your age are supposed to be out partying and having the time of their lives.”

“But I am having the time of my life. Running a farm is fun.”  

“That’s… not the word I’d use to describe it most days.”

“It’s way more fun than working a desk job for Joja corporate.”

“Right, I keep forgetting you used to be a pencil pusher.”

A shadow flickered in Ashe’s face. “I wish that I could forget…”

It was a moment that wasn’t lost on Shane, but he didn’t have a chance to ask about it—Ashe was up on his feet, brushing the dust from his jeans and offering a hand to help him up too.

“So, yeah. I’m going to the mines now~”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shane’s bad knee popped as he stood, “get out of here. Just promise me that you’ll be careful in there.”

Standing up on tiptoes Ashe pressed a kiss to his lips, “Lucky day, remember? I’ll be just fine. I’ll make sure to check in at the ranch on my way home so you know I got out safely.”

“Yeah, you fucking better.”

[chain-unchained]

Hey all, wanted to share some information here, since most of the popular places SDV modders frequent have been censoring this information.  Many of you may know I refuse to provide support for users with the Stardew Valley Expanded (SVE) mod installed.  There is a very good reason for this, and it started back at the time of 1.4 releasing. FlashShifter was distributing modified copies of Karmylla and I’s work behind a paywall without our knowledge and in violation of Karmylla’s permissions. I became aware of this due to an outside source, by sheer accident. When confronted about it, FlashShifter denied use of our assets, but I have copies of the files and screenshots to prove it. The method of distribution was via a “private beta” on Patreon, something that is also in gross violation of NexusMods’s policies (see below).

EDIT 11/7/2020 - recently a second violation of this NexusMod policy occurred, after a reprimand at the time of the original incidents.  An anonymous user who is aware of the problems with SVE passed the news on to me on Oct 22 that the Patreon link was again available on Nexus.  A check of the donations control page showed the policy is still in effect.  As of today it is down again, but it was up for at least 1 week, possibly more.

And finally, behind that paywall was also copyrighted music. While the community is divided on whether or not “game rips” can be used in mods, the consensus trends towards allowing them if they are credited and demonetized. Putting a company’s music behind a paywall is certainly a violation of this. We attempted to resolve the issue away from the public, but FlashShifter refused to take responsibility and resolve this as colleagues should. Karmylla choose to place a statement on the Immersive Maps page stating that her work was being used without permission and in full violation of her permissions.  The NexusMods team refused to take the mod down or force the removal of the KIM assets. In addition, FlashShifter has long had a $60+ dollar tier on his Patreon page, offering patrons the chance to “privately chat with [him] on the SDV discord”.  The SDV discord is a public server, open to any and all users who want to join.  It is not and has never been under the control of FlashShifter, and there are no Patreon private channels there.  Furthermore, after the split of KIM and SVE, FlashShifter left the discord server altogether, while leaving this tier available to purchase.  I contacted Patreon numerous times attempting to get them to handle this issue, but was directed to “reach out to the page holder” to resolve it.  So be warned, if you purchase a tier on Patreon and the creator doesn’t award it, you are pretty much SOL.

On the note of monetization, since it is a hot topic in modding, I can confirm that the devs give their blessing to modding, with the caveat that it be made known that any mod is not official in any way, implied or otherwise.  That includes allowing donations and things like DP earning or Moddrop Plus.  For some mods, you can also make use of your popularity and enable direct donation to charity organizations (the Diverse SDV project does this).  However, I can’t confirm if there’s an upper cap to what the devs find acceptable as far as modding donations are concerned, so I personally would tread carefully.

Since these initial incidents, several more have occurred.  SVE added a dog house to the farm, incredibly similar to the one made by another author that was released very close to when SVE released theirs.  And then custom fish, including one that directly conflicted with an existing mod that was known to FlashShifter.  The author had contacted FlashShifter prior to the release of that update and was assured the name would be changed so it didn’t conflict, only for FlashShifter to refuse to change it.

The work of a modder who had been absent from the community for quite a while, and who had strict no-redistribution permissions, was re-uploaded and modified in SVE.  When reported, the content was removed briefly and re-uploaded within 48 hours, claiming permission.  The PPJA team (Project Populate Json Assets) had been trying to contact this author for months without success.  One of the other team leads was finally able to find another contact for the author and confirmed that they had never granted permissions to anyone for their mods’ assets.  Shortly thereafter, SVE removed the content again, without explanation aside from “the author requested it be removed”. Another popular framework modder, Spacechase (also known as the author of Json Assets), had their mod assets stolen at the same time as the one above, with not a single message asking for permission.  As of this point, to my knowledge, permission has never been asked.

Though not a theft incident, SVE also contained so called “mature events”, that were initially turned on by default for the mod.  Myself and many others were blindsided by a scene showing the aftermath of Haley being sexually assaulted, with absolutely zero warning and frankly without a reason.  This scene was actually the tipping point for me to stop using SVE myself, before the theft incidents occurred.  While I myself do not have PTSD, many do and further many have triggers related to sexual assault.  This kind of content should be reserved for a highly content warned, adult restricted mod at the very least, if not outright NOT done in this kind of game. All of this points to someone who gives zero shits about the work of others and only wants to profit from piggybacking off of a hugely successful indie game.  I very much enjoyed SVE when it was first published and felt that I was on good terms with FlashShifter; I assisted with a lot of the wiki documentation and helping with Content Patcher questions.  I’m sad to have lost a friend (or so I thought we were) to greed and lies. I had been silent on this situation for too long because it was causing me much physical stress, to the point of triggering heart arrhythmias. But the community deserves the honest truth.  I implore you to consider whether you want to support someone who lies and profits off the work of others, to the tune of more money than some of us make in a month (before the amount was hidden, FlashShifter was receiving approximately $1000 per month for SVE on Patreon.  To my knowledge, those who have contributed large amounts of support to the mod have not seen a dime of that).  Modding is a joy to many of us, a creative outlet and a way to connect with others.  To take something that so many of us do for the sheer enjoyment and twist it for your own profit, to break the trust of your peers…..this is not what SDV modding stands for in my opinion. The moderators of the SDV discord server and of NexusMods have failed us in this matter, frankly.  The main moderator of the SDV section of NexusMods has a monetary interest in SVE - she makes music packs for the mod, monetized both on Nexus and on SoundCloud.  The modding channel moderators of the discord server are aware of the incidents of repeated theft and have chosen to ignore it and even allow/encourage FlashShifter to return to the server when I brought my concerns up on another platform previously.  So many veteran modders have left the server, in part at least from this issue.  While I respect that they may not want to cause “drama”, there’s a line between keeping the peace and sticking your head in the sand.  And with SVE being allowed to get away with theft, the incidents of stolen mods/assets have skyrocketed.  In a week alone I dealt with three separate issues, including a direct rip of my code work.  I fear it will only continue as long as the biggest consequence is a slap on the wrist. I am happy to discuss this rationally and calmly here - trolls and those coming to post hateful messages or insults can and will be blocked.  I certainly can’t make people stop using SVE, but I can educate people and allow them to make an informed decision (hmm, sounds like my day job :P).  Just know that I also have the right to not provide assistance with my mods when you use them with SVE.  Thank you all for putting up with the long post.  Thank you all for the support up to this point and for god’s sake, #WearADamnMask so I can get back to modding!!

[chain-unchained]

December 5th Pt. 1

Once again, featuring dialogue from the lovely @jojaqualityheadcanons Immersive Characters - Shane mod! <3 Download it for extra chicken husband goodness.

December 5th marked the first snowfall, and the first official day of winter in the Ferngill Republic. Several inches fell overnight, blanketing the entirety of the valley in a pristine white. A rough night meant Shane was up at 4, and he just stood out on the porch for a time, watching the snow fall in thick, fat flakes. Listened to the sound of them hitting the ground. It was… nice. Peaceful.

“We got, what, a foot?” He said to Marnie as they waited for the coffee to be ready. “Foot and a half?”

“Sure seems like it.” His aunt set two coffee mugs on the counter and got out the creamer. “You remembered to turn the heater on in the barn, right?”

“Yeah.” He paused halfway to picking up the pot. “… I’m pretty sure I did.”

“… Maybe go and double check to be sure.”

“Yeah, I’m on it.”

The barn was nice and toasty warm when he stepped into it, and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Sorry girls,” he knelt down to pick Charlie up and give her a cuddle, “can’t let you out today. You’d get lost in the snow.”

He patted the flank of Marnie’s cow with a faint smile. “… Shit, I hope Ashe didn’t forget the heaters…”

Jas poked her head into the barn. “Ms. Penny says that talking to yourself is a sign of loneliness,” she announced, and her uncle jumped a full inch off of the hay-strewn floor. “Why not go and ask him?”

“Kiddo, we need to have a serious talk about sneaking up on me.” He set Charlie down and walked over to his niece, planting a hand on her shoulder, “How about we don’t do that anymore? I’m getting old, I might end up having a heart attack.”

“You’re not that old, Uncle Shane.”

“I’m 35. That’s practically ancient.”

“If 35 is ancient, what does that make me?” Marnie called from the kitchen.

Shane started to sweat. “Young at heart?”

“Uh huh. That makes me feel so much better. You’d better come and get your coffee before it gets cold.”

“Right—” Shane gave his goddaughter a very serious look. “Jas, Aunt Marnie might kill me in my sleep tonight. If I die, I want you to look after the blue chickens in my place.”

The little girl’s pom-tails bobbed up and down with her head. “… You could stay over with Ashe tonight?” She whispered. “Aunt Marnie can’t get you there.”

“Honestly? I’m tempted.” His back cracked and popped as he stood. “Let me get my coffee and I’ll walk you to meet Ms. Penny.”

 ###

 There was something incredibly satisfying about the sound of snow crunching beneath his boots as they carried him up the road towards Ashe’s farm. The downside was that the trek there was made all the more arduous by its height; by the time he made it to the first line of fencing, he was thoroughly winded. He needed to suck it up and drag himself up to the sauna to use the gym again…

He caught sight of Ashe just as the farmer stepped out of the chicken coop, covered in feathers. “The girls not too happy about being cooped up?”

“Oh--!” The sight of Shane made Ashe’s face light up, and he hurriedly trudged through the snow to meet him. “C-cold, need warm please.”

“Pfft--” Shane had to stifle a laugh as he folded Ashe into a hug. “Good morning to you too, bugaboo. I was gonna ask if you were staying warm, but I think I already got my answer.”

“I-I was warm when I first came out here.” Ashe’s teeth were audibly chattering as Shane blew on his frozen fingers to warm them. “H-How about you?”

“Bud, with how much insulation I’m carrying, I don’t get cold. If anything, I get too warm.”

“B-But you’ve lost a lot of it?”

The farmer lightly poked at Shane’s shrinking stomach to prove his point.

“Oh, uh—shit, you noticed huh?”

“O-Of course I have! How could I not?” He buried his face in Shane’s chest. “You look good.”

Shane’s face went hot. “Thanks, bud. I disagree, but thanks all the same.”

“Then I’m just going to have to keep saying it until you agree.”

“We’ll see about that.” After a minute, Ashe went to pull away. “Hang on, don’t go running off just yet. Now that you don’t have any crops to worry about, could you slow down a bit?”

“But—but lucky day! The mines, Shane!”

“I don’t care about fortunes or the mines, I care about you.” Shane cupped Ashe’s face with both hands. “Yoba, you kept working yourself to the bone last season. I get that taking care of an entire farm by yourself is a lot of work, but you need to take care of yourself too. All right?”

Ashe puffed his cheeks out into a pout. “Fine… I’ll try. No promises.”

“Why are you so much like me?” Shane sighed. “What’s in the mines that’s so damn important, anyway?”

“Oh, I can show you!”

He took hold of Shane’s hands and pulled him along, towards the road into town.

[chain-unchained]

It’s been awhile since I started the SDV fic, and it was past time to do some redesigns. Especially with Ashe-- originally when I drew him, he was a precious cinnamon roll, and he still is, but I no longer feel comfortable drawing him so childlike. Even if that was just a stylistic choice and not because he in fact looks like a child, I wanted a more mature version of him to match the vision of him in my head. And then Shane deserved a redraw too, because y’know, people change over time, especially if they’re working out and bettering themselves like he is. (basically I just wanted an excuse to draw him with somewhat longer hair qwq)

If anyone is curious, Ashe is 20 and my Shane is 34. Will I ever be able to make him look his age? The answer to that is no. Trust me, I tried. orz

[chain-unchained]

AAAAH im so excited you updated the sdv story!! thank you!!!

You’re welcome! I’m hoping to get back into writing it more regularly again now that I’m writing more in general. I did really miss those two dorks.

[chain-unchained]

October 24th

“Shane! Phone!”

Still half-asleep, Shane cracked open the bathroom door with toothbrush in mouth to answer Marnie’s call. “Kin’a bushy—tell ‘em to call ba’ in like, a few minutes.”

“Alright,” she held the phone to her ear, “sorry Ashe, he said to call back in a few minutes.”

“Wai’ wai’ wai’, you di’n’t say it was Ashe—”

Hurriedly Shane spat the foamy toothpaste in his mouth into the sink and opened the door wider, hand outstretched to take the phone. Marnie stifled a laugh behind her hand and returned to the kitchen to give the call some privacy.

“What’s up, chickadee?”

“Shane you need to come over and see this right now, I need to know if what I’m looking at is real or not, it just popped up out of nowhere overnight—”

Ashe was frantic, speaking so quickly that Shane almost couldn’t keep up with him.

“Ashe, I’m having a slow start today. What’s going on?”

He could hear Ashe take a deep breath on the other end.

“Okay, so,” he began, slower this time, “you know my pumpkin patch?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well, when I went to bed last night everything was just fine, and this morning—you have to come and see it yourself. You’re not going to believe me if you don’t.”

“There’s a literal wizard living in a tower in the forest and monsters in the mines. Trust me, I can believe a lot.”

“And there’s a shadow man living in the sewers!” Jas piped up from the kitchen.

“Right, and the shadow man—” Shane did a double-take. “Okay, that’s a new one… And quit eavesdropping on me.”

“Not my fault you’re talking so loud!”

Jas sure was getting an attitude lately. He stepped back into the bathroom and shut the door as much as he could without severing the phone cord.

“Look, bugaboo, I’m happy to come and see you this morning. You just gotta give me like, twenty minutes to wake up. I haven’t even had any coffee yet.”

“Okay…” Ashe sighed. “Sorry, I know it’s early still… It’s just, calling you was the first thing that came to mind when I saw this.”

“And trust me, I’m more than happy about that.” A grin split Shane’s stubbled jaw. “I’ll be over in a bit.”

 ###

 Shane didn’t know what to expect when he made the trek up to the farm, but it certainly wasn’t the carriage-sized pumpkin sitting snugly right in the center of Ashe’s prized pumpkin patch.

“… Is that a giant ass pumpkin?” He asked as the farmer jogged down the dirt path to meet him. “Or are my eyes playing tricks on me?”

“See?! That’s what I thought too!” Ashe gestured for him to climb over the fence surrounding the patch so they could both see the behemoth up close. “And it’s not just this,” he waved a hand to the rest of the patch, “all of these just ripened overnight.”

“Jesus fuck,” Shane rubbed his freshly shaved chin, “where was this at the fair? You’d have won the grange for sure… What are you gonna do with it?”

“Well… Hm. I didn’t think about that yet.” Ashe rapped on the outside of it with his knuckles—a nice, deep sound resounded throughout—and took a step back, pursing his lips in thought.

Shane gave him a few minutes as he tried to warm his cold fingers with his breath. Come to think of it, he only just now noticed that Ashe had taken to wearing some… untraditional clothing on the farm. It was mostly girly clothes, lots of pastel colors and frills and bows—one day he went around doing his chores in a skirt, even.

“… Bugaboo, can I ask you something?”

“Hm? Ask me what?”

“It’s just… Hoo boy, how do I say this…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I… noticed you’ve been wearing some different clothes lately. Today too,” he nodded towards the outfit he was in now, a lavender tunic and leggings, “and I just—if you’re, y’know—I mean, what I’m trying to say is—I don’t know a lot about LGBT stuff, but you know you can always tell me if you’re using different pronouns, or you want to try out a different name, or… yeah.”

“Oh.” Ashe looked down at himself. He seemed almost… embarrassed.

“And that’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with you just wanting to wear girly clothes, either,” Shane added hastily in response. “You do you. I’ll support you no matter what.”

“… Thank you…”

Ashe wore a bashful little smile as he lifted his face to look up at Shane. “But I’m not—I’m happy as a guy. It’s just,” he uncomfortably tugged at the scarf wrapped around his neck, “Haley’s using me as a human dummy for her clothing and photography. I really don’t like wearing most of this stuff, honestly.”

“Well--- tell her that, maybe?”

“… You don’t tell Haley no.”

“Get Emily to tell her then. Hell, I’ll march down there and bring it up for you if you want.”

“Nonono, that’s okay! It’s not a big deal, I can put up with it! It’s just until Haley gets into this college she’s been eying.”

“Bugaboo, give people like her an inch and she’ll take a mile.”

Ashe sighed. “I know… I’ll… talk to her. Eventually. I’ve got too much other stuff to worry about right now.”

“… Yeah, that’s fair.” He paused, then, “For what it’s worth… you look cute no matter what you’re wearing.”

A red hue flared up on Ashe’s cheeks. “Hehe… thanks, Shane.” He looked back to the giant pumpkin. It was reassuring to know that, even if he did start to question himself, Shane would be right there with him the whole time. It meant a lot.

And then, an idea came to him.

“I’ve got it!” He clasped his hands together. “I can make this pumpkin into a giant carriage prop for Spirits’ Eve!”

“We.” Shane nudged him with his elbow. “You can’t hollow this thing out by yourself before the festival.”

“I could ask Rasmodius to help.”

“… Okay, what is the deal with that guy?”

[chain-unchained]

okay I *think* the links in the SDV master post are fixed now. hasdlfkjhdsf

[chain-unchained]

Hiya, just letting you know that some of your links in the sdv writing masterpost are are broken! Maybe cos they route to what your previous url was? I love to come back and reread those before bed, thank you for leaving them up. I finally thought to use the links today rather than scroll, but no pressure if you're not up to fixing them! the scroll down isn't a bother at all ^^

FFFF-- I thought I fixed those! I’m so sorry, I dunno how tumblr works, I’ll try and fix them! Thank you for reading them. I’ve started writing more again, maybe I should write some more for SDV...

[chain-unchained]

Camilla Hollows Pt. 1

November 14th again. Another year, another birthday to not celebrate. Vincent’s father didn’t even so much as acknowledge the now 28 year old as he headed out the oak front door of their lavish estate. Too busy planning the next town ordinance.

Vincent wonders what his sire will outlaw next. Just a week ago he’d gotten the city council to ban unique hedge shapes for residential lawns. Says it makes neighborhoods look tacky. A waste of taxpayer’s money if you ask Vincent, but, well, nobody does.

His long legs take long strides towards his car, parked amongst the three others in the driveway. The 2016 Volvo stands out like a sore thumb against the vintage makes in their pastel colors, which look washed out against the almost wintergreen tint that cloaks the whole town.  

The engine purrs to life, and Vincent takes a second to look at his reflection in the rearview mirror as he adjusts it. Marigold eyes gaze back at him, and he runs his large hand through his dark hair. He just had it cut this afternoon—undercut, rather. He has to have it like that, else it grows in far too thick to manage. Danica did a good job cutting it this time.

From the pocket of the jean jacket he’s wearing he retrieves a thin hair tie and tugs the rest into a short ponytail. His phone, he takes from the pocket of his jeans and sets on the charging port in the dash. The seatbelt is tight against his muscular chest, but the seat is already pushed back as far as it can go to accommodate his long legs.

The car reverses out of the long driveway and onto the street, and he heads off towards the center of town. Towards the local watering hole to drown his first-world problems in some free booze.

 ###

 He pulls up outside of Talia’s Tavern and makes his way inside. The interior is dark and cramped, both with chintzy furniture and people. The clientele  is all young, the kind of folk that the conservative bar across town won’t serve. Many are dressed in dark clothing, though there are plenty who are practically blinding in their garishness. A few witches have set up their fortune telling booth in one corner, but they only give readings to the girls. And more than a few same-sex couples are busy sucking face throughout the establishment.

The speakers pump out the low wub-wubs of dubstep and the air is thick with the smell of scented vape pens and weed. Both of course were banned in Camilla Hollows, which was why they were being smoked indoors. Talia didn’t care much to enforce B.S. laws like that.

“Hey, there’s the birthday boy himself.”

Talia’s voice calls out to Vincent as he passed through the door. She waves him up to the bar, the bracelets on her wrists jingling together with the motion.

“So, what did your old man get you this year?”

She slides him a full mug of lager as he takes a seat.

“Same as last year,” he takes a sip and licks the foam from his upper lip, “jack shit. Too busy trying to codify how long the grass on lawns can be.”

“Yeah, sounds about right. I’m sorry, hon.”

He shrugs and takes another sip. It’s a self-inflicted misery. He’s more than old enough to live on his own, but he’s reluctant to give up the comfy lifestyle his family name afforded him. Besides, by werewolf standards, he’s just barely a teenager.

“Me and the girls got you a little something-something.”

A little red box is presented to him. He sets the mug down.

“Talia, you didn’t—”

“Shush. I don’t want to hear it.”

He rubs his forehead and sighs. The box is covered in a thin layer of velvet, and held closed by a golden ribbon. He tugs it off and opens the lid. Inside are a pair of—

“Really?” He looks back at her disdainfully. “You got me silver earcuffs?”

She snickers. “They’re painted. Jadewood. Got you good though, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, that shit’s real funny to joke about.”

Hesitantly he picks them up—thank God they really weren’t silver—and snaps them onto his left ear. “Thanks.”

“Hey, it’s the least I can do for my favorite fur baby.”

“… Don’t call me that.”

Back to the beer and to his brooding. Another year, and he still hasn’t done anything with his life. No job, and he's half-assing his classes at the university. It was hard to put in the effort when he didn’t even know what he wanted to do yet.

A few minutes pass, and someone comes to stand beside Vincent’s seat.

“Oh, yours is a face I don’t recognize.”

Vincent’s pointed ears twitch slightly. Strangers in town are rare.

The stranger gives a weary smile from behind oversized spectacles as he takes a seat. “Yeah, I’m… not from around here. What’s the cheapest drink you have?”

“I’ve got a pale ale for $4.”

“That, please…”

“Coming right up. As soon as I see some I.D.”

The bespectacled stranger produces it, and she studies it with a critical eye.

“A Texas license? You’re a long ways from home.”

“It isn’t my home anymore.”

“Don’t blame ya.” She hands it back and goes to pour him his drink. Vincent sets his mug down and sniffs. The hops were covering up the unmistakable scent of—

“Here you are.”

Talia sets the mug down in front of the stranger, and he pays in crumpled singles. “And this is for you, Vince.” She sets a single cupcake on a plate in front of him. A lit candle dances in the pink swirled frosting. “Happy birthday~”

“…. Thanks, Tal.” The sarcasm drips from his voice as she places a cheap paper birthday hat on his head.

“Oh, today’s your birthday?” The stranger gives him another weary smile and raises his mug. “It’s mine too. Well, happy birthday, er…”

“… Vincent.”

“Happy birthday, Vincent.”

The glasses clink softly together.

After a minute, “Can’t say it back if I don’t know your name too.”

“O-Oh. Right, sorry. Benjamin. Just Ben is fine.”

“Happy birthday Ben.” Vincent slides the cupcake towards him. “You want this? I hate sweet shit.”

Behind the thick square rims, Ben’s green eyes are wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Have it.”

“Oh sure,” Talia looks up from pouring another beer and squints his way, “just give away my gifts why don’t you?”

“It’s your fault for giving it to me when you know I don’t do sugar.”

“Er—”

Ben is hesitant to eat it now, but Talia waves a hand his way.

“We’re joking, sweetie. Go ahead and eat it. You need the calories more than Mr. Macho here anyway.”

“O… Okay. Thank you.”

He blows out the candle and picks it out so he can take a bite, and Vincent studies him out of the corner of his eye. Talia’s right. He looks like a walking stick, hidden beneath a tartan cardigan three sizes too large—he has to keep shrugging the sleeves up past his wrists just to use his hands. His legs look like a pair of twigs in skinny jeans, and the whole ensemble is covered in patchwork squares.

“You know,” Talia comes back over to them and leans on the bar, “we don’t get many out of towners. What brings you to the Pacific Northwest?”

“Well…” Ben shifts uncomfortably. “I… let’s just say that I’m not exactly welcome back home anymore. I heard that it’s a little more… accepting up here.”

[chain-unchained]

I’ve fallen into Temtem and I can’t get up

send help