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In the late 1970s a glowing orb appeared in the sky. Every day at about 5:00 Greenwich standard time, the orb would go somewhere new, shoot out something similar to a laser, and kill one person. Every day, always at the same time, always exactly one person.
The person killed by the orb seemed completely random, with almost fifty years of studying it we've been able to find no rhythm or reason to who it kills. It kills the old, the young, the rich, the poor, the urban, the rural, anyone. Every human on earth seems to have an equal chance of being killed by the orb. It's a headline the few times someone of note is killed by the orb: Britain famously lost a Parliament member to the orb, Brazil to this day remains the only country where a head of state was killed by the orb while in office, there was a short lived sitcom in the 1990s called Freinds that ended halfway through its first season due to the orb killing one of the main actors on set. However, these are outliers, on any given day the person who dies via orb is very likely to be someone you never heard of. There are billions of people on earth, and only one is killed by the orb every day. In almost fifty years only a little over 18000 have died because of the orb, which is nothing in the face of the sheer amount of humans that exist.
When the orb first appeared people were horrified. Both the US and USSR thought it was a weapon from the other side. Almost every religion made some claim of it being proof of their beliefs, oftentimes claiming it was divine punishment. Atheists claimed it was proof no loving God could exist. People were so very apocalyptic and horrified by it, they thought of it as part of the end times, because when it was new that's really how it looked.
However, it's been long enough so that's changed. Most people have lived their entire lives in a world where the orb exists. The orb isn't that scary a concept. People know their odds of being killed by it are low and that it's not going to end the world or anything. The orb has become normal, and we've accepted that the orb is just something that kills people the same way cancer, or heart attacks, or natrual disasters, or car crashes kill people. In the nineteen eighties there were efforts to find a way to stop the orb, but it's since proven to be extremely difficult, and it's as distant and nebulous as finding a cure for cancer. When a community is struck by the orb you'll see that community in mourning, but it's not a global thing anymore.
So people grow up learning about the orb, as part of science, like anything else. A lot of gen z remembers learning about the orb from Magic School Bus. It's just something normal. There are a few people with an orb hyperfixation, and a few cults that give the orb importance but it's not most people's concern. The orb is how we first confirmed that interdimensional objects existed and are possible. A lot of people theorize dimensional studies wouldn't exist without it, meaning without the orb we might not have thermitizers or grand drives, we might not even have a moon base without the orb. Some have even rather tastelessly claimed that the orb has saved more lives at this point that its taken with all the knowledge it's given us.
Which is why I regret to inform you, that just last week, without warning, the orb killed two people in one day. And for the past seven days it's been killing two people instead of just one. Nobody knows why.
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raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy
#important#i think about these guys all the time#the geek#I call the distinct eras geek (thinkgeek and jonathan coulton and doctor horrible and flying spaghetti monster n shit)#ragequit (nostalgia critic and angry video game nerd and nihilist atheist philosophy)#and then gamergate. blargh. (filthy frank and that racist jon guy)#smiling friends fits into the last category and is remnant of that culture#this is NOT exact I am sleep deprived and sooo out of it#hashtag tumblr relapse
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why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic
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if youvespent enough time online lately the past 5 or so years you will gain the ability to identify when something is minecraft youtuber fanart even if you dont recognize who is being depicted basically instantaneously
#i wish anyone would draw someone you could see at a gas station#also i relapsed on tumblr because 24 hours awake. hello world.#i will disappear again soon
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popular culture used to be very much about eroticism. rockstars used to be on stage in sequins and thongs and thigh high boots playing guitars like they were masturbating. girls used to wear velvet mini dresses and no bras and red-brick-brown lipstick and mascara on their bottom lashes. people used to have body hair on television and in the movies. people used to be sweaty. people used to touch each other over denim and under cotton. foreplay used to be staring at someone over the rim of a glass across a bar across a park across a dinner table. people used to want. i think we’ve lost something
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Okay so just to sum up recent events on the US Right:
• Trump starts a contract with Peter Thiel's Palantir company to create a database of ALL INFORMATION on EVERY LIVING AMERICAN
• Its revealed Stephen Miller and Elon Musk have had a very massive fight, supposedly because Elon Musk is sleeping with Miller's wife
• Trump ousts Elon from the administration, after over five months of being besties. Leaves with Stephen Miller's wife, who he just hired at one of his companies (!?)
• Elon starts saying the Big Beautiful Bill sucks
• A GOP Representative reveals that most of them didnt actually get to read the Big Beautiful Bill, GOP leadership basically made them rubber stamp it and they are pissed to find out it makes them all look horrible. A lot of them are now discussing a shakeup in GOP leadership.
• Trump says Elon has "Trump Derangement Syndrome" (🤮)
• Elon escalates massively, stating that Trump is in the Epstein files and THATS why they havent released them yet
• This comes right as Alex Jones loses a massive chunk of his audience because he's endorsing Trump's Palantir contract, and his fans are basically all very concerned about their privacy. They want a new conspiracy to follow and they just got one
• Trump starts threatening Elon's government contracts
• Ian Miles Cheong calls for Trump to be impeached immediately, and for JD Vance to become President. Elon Musk quote retweets this with "Yes"
• JD Vance was mentored by Peter Thiel
• Steve Bannon takes to Fox calling for the immediate deportation of Musk, and making SpaceX a public company
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(no children, the mountain goats/US politics)
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Me reading the Trump/Musk breakup news this week:
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i wish dog owners would shut the fuck up sometimes
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I think everyone's desire to not piss anyone off is killing what is so attractive about personalities in the first place
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Let's connect some dots here
The Trump administration kidnaps and sends hundreds of people to a prison camp in El Salvador with no due process (meaning they never have to prove these people committed whatever offence the Admin claims)
The Administration sets the precedent that anyone, up to green card holder and naturalized citizens, will be subject to this for practicing free speech in a way the Administration doesn't like
The Administration puts out two Executive Orders, one which says they believe trans people and parents of trans children are all sexual offenders and another that anyone who criticizes Israel is a terrorist
The President puts out a statement, in public, saying he wants to find ways to send US citizens to those foreign prison camps
The Administration directly defies 2 different SCOTUS decisions that say anyone who is deported must get due process and (this one a unanimous decision) they must return a wrongfully deported man
The US President now tells the President of El Salvador, again in public, that they will need to expand their facilities because he wants to start sending "homegrown criminals" to El Salvador very soon
We aren't even in boiling the frog territory any more, we're in a flash frier.
Like I hate sounding like a fucking tinfoil hat nutjob, but it's clear as day, right? He's saying exactly what he wants to do. And no one is doing anything about it. They're just saying "hey that's illegal!" and then letting it happen anyway.
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Schwarzenegger winning seemed like the most embarrassing thing that would ever happen in politics at the time and now he’s to the left of every elected Republican and a few Democrats and just makes videos going “young men, my fadda was a Nazi and he was a contemptible loosah”
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Dear Human, I am writing to you as a human being like you. I am part of a family that is going through difficult times amidst this genocide. My brother suffers from bipolar disorder, and we only need €80 to buy his essential medication. The situation has become even more difficult than before, with the crossings being closed for over a month. We ask you to stand by us, whether by donating, sharing our story, or talking about us. 🙏💔
^^^^
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"windows 11 upgrade ready!" "your computer is eligible for windows 11!" "download windows 11 now!"

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part of a song i wrote last night
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