chaitducky

[chaitducky]

Had a dream. It was the batman movie. But batman was spiderman played by gaston, and not like an actor of gaston, genuinely just gaston. But it was the batman movie. And there were like hundreds of other spidermans, not batman spidermans, just spidermans. But they were all played by vladimir putin. Couldnt see their faces, they had masks. But you could tell they were played by putin. The joker was Frozone, the guy from incredibles, but he was dressed like elsa. It was the whole batman movie, but like that. And every so often hundreds of putin spidermans would swing by. Not at important or climatic parts or anything, just ever so often. In the end the whole city was nuked by batman-spiderman-gaston. Dunno why, he was supposed to be the hero. And then I woke up.

[chaitducky]

My Cat???

My cat is slowly getting smarter?? it's like, slightly scaring me.

His name is Sunshine, he's a bit older than a year old now, I'm not actually sure. I got him from a friend who found him, and his siblings, but they died.

So, like, I got Sunshine about a year ago. I literally taught him everything he needed to know, from escaping his cage when he wanted my attention, to laying on his back so I can hold him like a baby.

Well after an incident at my mom's house, Sunshine moved to my dad's house. He's been happy here, my dad likes him because he hunts the snakes, and my younger stepsister absolutely adores him.

Problem: Sunshine has been slowly getting smarter. And it slightly scares me

The other day I woke up like half awake, turned away from Sunshine who was lying in bed with me. Nothing out of the ordinary, AND THEN THIS LITTLE FUCKER USES A SINGLE PAW TO MOVE MY BLANKET BACK TO HE CAN LAY AGAINST MY SKIN AND UNDER MY BLANKET??????? I was genuinely scared as fuck because he's never done this before, and he doesn't have opposable thumbs???

But I brush it off, everything is ok. It was probably an accident; he's always been a smart cat.

Well just now I was talking to my dad about how I raised Sunshine. In a couple years I wanna take him to college with me, he's my son, of course he's gonna go to college with me. My dad wants to get a replacement kitten for my stepsister to bond with when Sunshine leaves the house because she is absolutely obsessed with Sunshine, and she will be absolutely devastated when Sunshine leaves. I don't think she really understands that Sunshine is mine, not a family cat.

Anyways, we were standing there talking. And then suddenly the urinal flushes? It was Sunshine. Sunshine enjoys sitting in the urinal, when my siblings and I are in the bathroom he'll hop in the (unused bc Sunshine sits in it) urinal to watch us. Never before has he flushed the urinal. It wasn't an accident. If it was an accident he would have been sitting in the urinal, instead, he was standing on his back legs with one paw on the urinal side and one paw on the handle, just siting there, watching the water flush.

Listen, I love my oddly human cat. He's always been smarter. He understands new things faster than other cats my family has had, and he acts oddly human, going as far as to "talk" and "respond" to us with meows. But he's never really done "human" stuff. I still love the little fluff ball, but seriously, wtf is up with him. Why is he suddenly doing human stuff?

Other thing, he knows what video games are? I don't know if he understands exactly what they are, but he understands the premise of them. If you're playing a game he likes (yes, he has preferences) he'll sit in your lap and just watch you play the game. It's gotten to the point that he has his own chair by the computer so he can sit and watch the games and take naps.

[chaitducky]

In the past however many minutes we have manged to

1. Get my Older sister to also eat the fungi

2. My brother passed tf out

3. We got some of the octopuses tentacle and we're making soup out of the fungi water that is apparently poisonous

4. I'm a 4 foot nothing hill dwarf with heavy Armour shit, and carried my brother who is a 6'4 elf on my back

5. Put said fungi in my waterskin for later

6. My younger sister joined us and cut my arm after I tried to drown her

7. I added the blood to the pot of tentacle soup

8. I have resistance to poisons, I'm gonna try the soup first and if I don't die we're gonna feed it to my brother so that he is rejuvenated and revived.

9. I had a saving throw on soup, now we're dumping it in the octopuses water

This list was made as we were playing

My family and I are playing DnD and me and my brother were stuck inside a cave and there was bioluminescent fungi so we both ate it and then we puked and lost 3hp, but now whenever dad tries to hit us with the giant octopuses tentacles(the octopus that made the fungi) we always dodge, literally we always get more than him. Dad rolled a 16 and I rolled a 19 and my brother rolled a 17, we literally always roll higher and it's funny af

[chaitducky]

My family and I are playing DnD and me and my brother were stuck inside a cave and there was bioluminescent fungi so we both ate it and then we puked and lost 3hp, but now whenever dad tries to hit us with the giant octopuses tentacles(the octopus that made the fungi) we always dodge, literally we always get more than him. Dad rolled a 16 and I rolled a 19 and my brother rolled a 17, we literally always roll higher and it's funny af

[chaitducky]

Today in choir I accidently thought Romiette and Julio and it took me 15 minutes of thinking to figure that that's wrong

[chaitducky]

Puki Give Them Back

Imagine me popping bubble wrap inside your brain bp bp bp bp bp