chandelier1

[chandelier1]

Stop Looking

One of the scene that I liked from “Lost” series is the story when Sun lost her wedding ring and John Locke told her the story that he is stop looking and it comes back to him eventually.

I always looking for something that I know I always wanted but I never got it, my life filled with regret and dissapointment that I couldn’t get this and I think I wouldn’t be happy without this. that “this” becomes my purpose of life, that I think I have to get it in this life. Yet, I realize the more I really wanted to have it, the more its gone away from me. further and further.

I have to decide I have to stop looking and get with the flow. If it meant to be mine, God will give it to me eventually. If it is not meant to be mine, maybe He thought it is not good for me.

Just breathe and let it flow. 

[chandelier1]

[chandelier1]

Little luck

It’s when you want something, but keep the urge to buy it because you want to save money. Then it comes to be yours in the way you never imagine it would.

Its like you never get it when you wanted it so much but you get when you least expected it.

Cheers,

A.

[chandelier1]

When game can’t bring enjoyment for you anymore!

I tried this game around beginning of 2017, I think around S3 of the game. So It almost been a year for me playing this game. I have 2 accounts, first account on my first device but my tablets went error when I played, so I used my second account until now. I also have sharing problem with my first account which could not be solved by the customer service eventhough I keep mailing them. My highest achievement is reaching legend 5 with 5 stars, could not make it to legend 4. It was on season 6 and yes I have legend border.

Lately since the big tournament like MSC and MPL, this game rewards 100,000USD to the winners. More peoples playing this game because this game is in high demand. Too many peoples want to get money from tournament. I feel frustrated at playing ranked now, latest I play with my friend but keep losing until 6 times straight. Well I have no mood in continuing losing more. Honestly, I don’t have much Mobile Legends’ friends now, unlike last seasons. Some of them selling their accounts or give away to somebody else or just use joki (joki meaning other professional player playing for you and you paid for them). 

When do I start questioning myself what do I get from this game? I am not happy and enjoy and get the fun, its just getting more and more desperating and helpless because I have no reliable friend to play with. I might not quit immediately, if I say I will quit from this game addiction, I will be a liar. It’s just I feel I am really done here. Or when every season ends and I will end up lower and lower rank, maybe I will stay there and enjoy the lower experiences. I don’t know it is just something that I am not sure that I will enjoy or just let’s see if anything will give me inspiration to play again.

[chandelier1]

Monday is not bluey mood for me, because monday is instant noodle day for me :)

[chandelier1]

dishonesty

Today I went to near shopping centre, the closest to my place.

I want to buy Chicken burito, its been a while since I ate that. So, I aim to buy Chicken burito as lunch and I decide to buy 1$ drink and later when I can’t find nice plant for me, while I want to go home and then suddently really want to buy fried glutinous ball topping sesame with yellow bean inside. 

It is more likely looking like this (picture taken from https://www.rotinrice.com/jian-dui-deep-fried-glutinous-rice-balls-or-sesame-seed-balls/)

That was favorite since I was little kid. Usually I bought one for myself, but today since I was hungry I aim to buy 2 sesame ball with yellow bean inside. 

I was ordered I said 2 yellow bean as the title, then suddenly the lady who picked up my yellow bean asked me, if I buy one more, that will be 20cents discount, so I bought 1 banana fritter which costs me 1.5$ and the lady said she will give me extra as bonus. I was waiting to pay. While waiting, I saw the man in front of me of queueing, he said the didn’t asked something and I saw the lady put back again the fried lumpia he did not asked to buy. When I am going to pay, the lady on the counter which is different than the lady who picked up the yellow bean for me. the counter said 5.20$, when I heard, I was so surprised, because how could that be so much, because what in my mind is around 3-4$ tops. Because I was hungry and long queueing behind me, so I paid without much checking. 

When I was walking back home. I was eating some of what I bought and later I found one more fried bun that I never asked her to put in. OH MY... I was really upset and dissapointed. Clearly first that was my fault because I did not check properly. But, I was remembering that the man in front of me who asked her to put back his fried lumpia he did not want to buy, I really believe that lady deliberately put the fried bun I did not buy to raise the selling. Jeez...

They are not the only one who sell the yellow bean sesame, maybe if I really want to eat that, I prefer go to Old Chang Kee or other food court shop. I won’t ever bought again from that store. That store sell the best tau suan which selling at $2, maybe I only buy tau suan there if I really want but confirm I will prepare 2$ on my hand before. I won’t let her cheat me again.

Well, I mean, I don’t like dishonest behaviour while buying something. Her behaviour raise many questions than answers, I mean, clearly I said 2 yellow bean and she asked me, that is all? I said yes, thats all. What did she do? 

Well never mind, I just need to remind myself that I won’t buy any fried from her stall again. Sorry mam, I’m really dissapointed.

Upset girl, 

A.

[chandelier1]

Images

Recently I watch a romance film who was adapted from best selling erotica romance novel. The novel itself got high rates from famous website like Amazon. I haven’t read the novel yet, though I read the synopsis of the novel here and there. The film title is Hollywood Dirt, same title as the novel. I thought the film itself just average for me. Not really outstanding, yet not bad either.

I was intrigue by the female leading actress who casts as Summer. Her name is Emma Rigby. Her lips reminds me of Angelina Jolie. Honestly my first impression is I don’t like this girl when I first saw her in her Hillside Cottage (that’s what I read in front of her house). Summer is country girl who falls in love with a Hollywood star named Cole. Yet, I have no country girl impression from this Summer. What I see in the first sight is a girl who is sexy, naughty (especially with those lips), clever and mysterious.

These images are different from what I expect to see from a girl who lives in a small town Quincy. Though my impression is far different from my expectation, But Her acting as Summer is good enough to keep me watching this film. In my opinion, she is better than her opposite fellow actor, Cole. She is so dominant in this fim that makes me want to know who she is. So, I did some searching after watching her film. Actually there is a pic of her which her lips is not so thick and she looks innocently beguiling there. I do not know if the gossips out there are true about her lips using botox or whatever. I don’t care anyway. I just see what she is now. Honestly, I like the sweetly innocent she was before. She is really sweetly innocent couple years back. Now She tried to prove something and new images. What I see from her is a sexy and naughty girl now. This is her choice and my choice to see what I see. Everyone had different opinions than me. 

I thought she better play another roles beside country girl or innocent girl, cause I don’t see her in that picture anymore.

[chandelier1]

Rainy Season

It is rainy season here in Singapore. It had been since the overnight raining on New Year day (1 Jan 2018). 

I am not really as a pluviophile when I was a kid, yet I like raining when I am at home. I have to admit raining ruins my morning routine to exercise, I prefer to stay at home and open windows and just watching tv or crocheting or playing games. I hope to get real job soon.

My bestie and my mom visit me days before. The temperature is a bit cold here,  which remind me of Puncak in my hometown. I did not use jacket, I can stand it. It just a bit colder than usual temperature which I think It is never been this cold in Singapore. Yet I like it. 

Hopefully tonight will be raining again.

Ciao,

A.

[chandelier1]

Today is the first day of 2018.

Personally I don’t have specific resolution for this year.

I just want to be better person and knowledge-able person, have understanding about myself and my life.

I don’t go anywhere today as since last night it was raining the whole night and day.

I just wish this year would be better than last past years. Year 2017 was stagnant year for me.

Lets fill this year with remarkable experiences.

Cheers,

A

[chandelier1]

Little rain

Its raining at night finally. Well i used to be a pluviophile. Raining without thunder gave me peace.

Its almost Christmas day, i wish everyone had wonderful holiday.

I wish this little rain will accompany me to sleep well. Ciao.

Regards,

A

[chandelier1]

Helping

I don’t mean to be a storyteller but yes, I like to tell a story.

There are two kind of peoples we had chance to help with

1. a person who is truly poor and had nothing and really need our help to survive.

2. a people who is enough to survive but tends to save hers/his to gain advantage/profit from the helper. 

beware though.

[chandelier1]

Daily positive, quote of today

[chandelier1]

#sapotahuayam #chickentofuclaypot dinner 🍛

[chandelier1]

self reminder :)

[chandelier1]

little satisfaction

Today, I decide to deactivate my more than 5 years social media account. I have been tried to delete that account, but unsuccessful since I really forgot the email address and password. Finally after I tried hours today just to trial and error any pass comes to mind, I can login it. I quickly change some info and deactivated that account for good.

Any good news beside that, I’ve got contract job start in October. Though I prefer permanent job, still I am grateful. I hope everything will going to be alright. 

Recently, I am interested to have a puppy, but seems its hard to buy/adopt here, many unnecessary process here. I think it would be sweet to take care of a puppy. I never had a puppy my whole life because my mother dislike the mess out of that. But I like a pet and have a fish under my care until now. I just wish I could have a puppy on my own.

Cheers,

A.

[chandelier1]

These days

These days made me feel empty again.

fail job searching.

bad health appointment time.

lonely.

I wish my faith could save me.

Cause there is no other way.

[chandelier1]

Its Friday already

wow, its Friday already. time flies. really flies.

I need to move on and get the job soon. I need to arrange doctor for my endoscopy. I need to remind myself to keep calm and get it on.