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if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down

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okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

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hearing that your characterizations are good is like. the best thing to hear as a fic writer.

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sandwith webweave

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Get these ai writing assistants out of my face!!!! I don't care if my writing is bad at least it is mine!!!!

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obligatory post today

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so i finally watched the actors on actors joe locke and charlie cox (wow two of my favorite british actors?? how lucky for ME specifically.) interview and may i just say-- one, i did NOT know charlie cox was a father and hearing him talk about his kids was incredibly sweet to me like go off king. but joe talked about wanting to do stuff beyond the gay twink thing and it really got me thinking because since HS, kit connor has been in??? A lot of shit. Wild Robot, Warfare and Romeo and Juliet and now he's being eyed to play the lead in A24's Elden Ring movie and I'm like 75% sure that comes from kit having been in the industry quite a bit longer than Joe. Like, Nick Nelson was a breakout role for Kit it wasn't his first role (and there is a difference.), so his acting resume is obviously bigger and that leads to more bookings/audition opportunities and stuff. And idk, maybe this is just me, but Joe Locke has a face for like fantasy and period drama. I could see him in something like HOTD, Wheel of Time, Shadow and Bone, The Witcher, My Lady Jane, etc. (I need him and Kit NOT TOGETHER BUT SEPERATELY, to be in something comedic very badly bc both of them have good comedic timing in Heartstopper and Joe specifically in Agatha was delivering on the funny bits.) Then I started getting HS edits on my FYP again which yay, I do love those. But one of them was very much a Joe Locke thirst trap and it ate but you wanna know what the comments looked like? "Oh, he's attractive but he's not Kit? yanno." or other really rude comments disparaging Joe's appearance which-- first of all, Joe Locke is objectively an attractive man. I did watch that HS interview when both Joe and Kit talked about receiving the "not conventionally attractive" comments and how that feels backhanded and YEAH IT IS FUCKING BACKHANDED. Joe Locke doesn't have iphone face, he's not Glen Powell or Henry Cavill but he is still attractive in that british way like Hugh Grant and Hugh Dancy (yes both of the Hughs, I know.) Also as a side note, Joe Locke and Hugh Dancy actually look very similarly to me like if Hannibal ever got a reboot, i think Joe could be in the running when he's older to play a Will Graham-esque character. (note* i don't want a hannibal reboot i'm just using it as an example here.) then that got me thinking about jonathan bailey's career and how he hid his sexuality for a long time and now he's starting to pop the fuck off and even the straight girls are foaming after him and what did that take-- playing a straight character in bridgerton. now he's going to be in that new jurassic park movie as well. and that's why people don't think joe is attractive, because they only see him as a gay twink and nothing else bc he hasn't had the opportunity to be anything else right now. i also do take issue with the consistent sexualization of kit connor bc it comes to a certain para social point, you know? but i also think that in hollywood, while being out about your sexuality is powerful, we can't deny that it still doesn't impact what actors are capable of booking bc it seems like Joe Locke is not being offered/ not getting auditions for anything beyond the box of like gay twink, and I feel for him bc he's hungry to do more and I know bc I'm me that he would be good at something else. So, here's some roles I think Joe Locke would eat up. I'm itching for a Shop Around the Corner remake, and I think Joe would do a fab job as Alfred Kralik (I'd also die for Rachel Sennot as Klara Novak just TRUST ME BRO!!!) I know Divine Rivals is getting a film or show or something-- hear me out. Joe Locke as Roman Kitt, do you see the vision??? You can't tell me he wouldn't kill all of Roman's isms. We know Joe is good at romance we've seen HS he'd fucking kill it. If Jonathan Bailey can kiss women in films and shows so can Joe fucking Locke.

from my own projects, I'm writing a romcom right now and I picture Joe Locke and Dylan Mulvaney as the love interests when I'm writing it. Can't share much else but I have a vision...

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8-27 analysis

as always, spoilers below!

i just think the first three panels are so dreamlike in their composition. we really get the sense of nick being distantly discombobulated and just... tied? especially in the faces he's making that man is tapped the fuck out.

like that is a man not in reality at all. agian, love the exhaustion in his eyes so so much, love the detail of the blood dripping onto his collar and i'll eat my whole right arm if that stain stays there for a while like fuck dude. also!!! nick's rugby friends caring about him so so much and vouching for him during this whole thing was just so sweet.

i adore this. i adore charlie pushing his way through these boys to get to #hisman i love otis explaining that this was a homophobic incident, i love the expression on singh's face when she clarifies that this was provoked!!!! yes yes yes yes yes!!! but you know what i love more? this

because it also looks like this

and a bit like this n this

I love the detail of the squiggly pupils when Nick is sort of out of sorts bc his eyes being drawn in as solid black almost always give him that puppy-eyed expression so when they're not it's like oh! feelings! sometimes awe and love, but also anxiety and trepedition.

something else i liked was this.

charlie going full protective mode over nick, and it's JUST the thing Nick would do for Charlie in this situation. I love how Charlie immediately swoops in and tries to take control of the situation bc that's so very him. but I also love Nick's quiet focus on him, the way he is actively seeing Charlie being strong in this moment compared to the episode they had earlier in the morning. Like yes! When push comes to shove Charlie Spring isn't fragile and I did have a feeling it'd take something like this for Nick to get that (if he does, if he doesn't try to brush off these injuries as nothing, which i can def see him attempting to do.) but more importantly, we have them NOT talking but Nick still accepting or even reaching out for help/comfort from his bf.

Nick looks so very ghibli-like laying in the grass like he is. One, i love how fiery Charlie is, and two, I love that Nick clings to him. Not tugs, but CLINGS to Charlie. Nick is and always has been a clingy boyfriend, Earlier in this chapter, Tao and Aled point out that Nick is being EXTRA clingy lately, but esp after their fight this morning, Nick clinging to Charlie-- asking him to stay is so important bc it isn't about Nick clinging in order to make Charlie more comfortable/supported, it's Nick clinging because HE'S the one who wants support right now.

had to include this. I do love Nick and Charlie's size difference and I especially adore that Nick is just-- he's a big boy!!! Not in that shredded Adonis way but in that sweet, soft way. Alice could draw him with abs but she doesn't and I'm grateful everyday for it. I like Nick a little pudgy, sue me. I also like the detail of him sitting with his knee up like this bc it's such a childish, vulnerable way for him to sit right now. I can't say enough how much the fact that they do not really speak to one another in these pages matters to me. Charlie's been trying to get Nick to talk for a bit now, and it's not been happening even when he's tried to force it. I really view Charlie choosing not to talk goes two ways-- one, Nick is probably concussed so maybe he doesn't want to exacerbate the potential headache he has, but mostly-- I think it's Charlie taking into consideration what Tori said "well, you two do love to talk" do they? does Nick who doesn't really know how to explain his feelings and has SAID THAT ON PAGE? it's a lot to munch on and I do think it's Charlie honoring this incredibly vulnerable moment for Nick, letting Nick have the space for what's just happened to him bc you know. Isn't this kind of what Charlie's been afraid of since the beginning? Nick having to deal with homophobia like he did? It's natural in a queer relationship that eventually you will go through a homophobic incident but that was a huge part of what triggered Charlie early on in the story, this inability to protect Nick from stuff like this. So I really think this is a huge growing point for both of them-- and yes, I do like/enjoy the fact that Nick still responds to homophobia by slinging fists without thinking. anyway, i love them. hope they do have a chat soon but I think Nick especially just needs that quiet comfort and or some space. and to circle back to THIS face:

I genuienly think Nick is shocked that Charlie even showed up. We know that Stephane was very into the "I'll be there" and then canceling at the last minute, so i fully believe Nick just... didn't expect Charlie to show up after all-- and that'd be punishment for Nick being emotional/not good enough. "I got upset and now my boyfriend won't see me." is very similar to "I got upset and now my dad won't see me." It tells a lot, I think, about the way Nick sees things due to his experience with his parents' divorce. So yeah, Charlie actually showing up was probably HUGE and I hope it combats some of Nick's anxieties about their relationship.

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If you did a 100% swap AU would Nick still play rugby? I kind of like the idea of exploring a non-rugby player Nick. Maybe right before he was supposed to start youth league rugby he goes over the handlebars on his bike and breaks his wrist, and next year the boys are loud and intimidating and David is going to be one of the junior coaches because Sarah wants him to prove he can be responsible so he decides not to do it.

I would! I think rugby is a vital part of Nick's character as it's how he's identified in the original text and he's not really "Nick" without it. This is just a me thing but I hate in role reversals/swap aus where they just give the opposite personality to the character. There's nothing good in that, imo. What's more interesting to me is having Nick still do rugby while he's being bullied and how he balances this thing he loves vs. the people who hate him and how that social dynamic builds onto itself. I think it's interesting for Nick to accept the bullying in order to do something he actually likes

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ever since I was a little girl I’ve been a bitch

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everyone has dreams about being lost at school, late to work, cant find bathroom etc but whats yalls most common Uncommon stress dream. ill always have dreams about having various problems with my fish tank

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All good children's fiction says you are going to have to shoulder responsibility even if you don't want it.

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Chao… Chao!!!!

The new chapter!!!!

Nick has hella injuries and a possible concussion. He looks so genuinely out of it.

Also I just love that Charlie was ready to throw hands at #9.

I’m assuming it doesn’t show the cleanup at the Dr’s cuz Nick seems to be verbally unresponsive??? maybe?

FUZZ HOLY FUCK. Yeah, split eyebrow, probable concussion ughhh my GOD i hope it leaves a sexy little scar for fucking real. I imagine it's a minor concussion; the fact that Nick only says two words during these pages oh WOOF. Yeah! Honestly, getting checked out for a concussion is kind of boring anyway and it seems he got butterfly closures and not stitches although I could be perceiving that wrong lol. I imagine being hungover + a concussion Nick is probably nauseous as fuck and in a brain fog, hence the lack of talking. Also like being so overwhelmed he's gone non-verbal? i can see it. I'm gonna reread this mflike four more times before i do my analysis but i adore how nick lights up when charlie threatens the #9 i know there's probably zero thoughts going through nick's head but he looks so charmed laying there in the grass...

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do publishers realize that advertising books using fanfic tropes spoils the experience of reading an original story. stop telling me it’s enemies to lovers and there was only one bed and unrequited love hurt comfort golden retriever black cat timeloop major character death. why do i give a fuck if i don’t know any of the characters and now plus i already know the entire plot of the story. that’s what ao3 is supposed to be for

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if you could swap nick and Charlie's storyline in the comic/show would you?

like have nick be the one being bullied and Charlie be the rugby lad lmao

also how do you think that would change their relationship dynamics? if at all.

sorry for the slightly odd question,I just adore how your brain works when it comes to these to. :)

so i actually am working on a fic with this exact concept rn! it's just slow going bc the early chapters are canon rewrites and i didn't wanna do that so im stomping my feet about it. but if i did a true, 100% swap I'd probably do this. Having Nick being bullied is hard bc he is not vulnerable enough in canon for bullies to find something to exploit from him. I think the easiest/low hanging fruit would be his weight because he is a bigger boy in canon and I've heard that weight related bullying in the UK can be pretty intense? However, I could see in an AU where maybe he's Frencher and the accent is more intense, him being bullied for being French, having divorced parents and/or David having begun the bullying and it just continued after he left Truham and maybe the reason why Nick is bullied is weirdly unclear, everyone just fell into peer pressure to be mean to him LMAO. charlie would not do rugby! in canon he only does rugby because of nick and has no real interest in it. i think something more interesting would be if he played tennis and is popular and good at it in that way that a lot of queer boys become popular? sort of leaning into that bitchy gay-boy trope for his own comfort even though that's not who he really is. So, cue their meet-cute where they're put together in Form. Maybe Charlie feels safe being soft with Nick and maybe Nick feels a bit safer being more vulnerable with Charlie. Nick would challenge a lot of Charlie's beliefs on how he has to act socially. Nick doesn't bother bending himself into molds because he's tried and it's only made the bullying worse. Charlie tries to instill more confidence in Nick because Nick is, in his opinion, an objectively attractive person but he's also so KIND. I don't think Charlie would get why Nick is so kind to him bc Charlie would be surrounded by people who talk a lot of shit behind his back or even to his face sometimes. And the plot beats would change. I like to think there'd be a bigger conflict around Charlie truly loving Nick, but being too afraid of losing his position in the Truham social hierarchy to date him openly, and Nick trying to balance if Charlie's love is worth never being acknowledged publicly even though he covets Charlie quite severely + Nick struggling with his mental health to the point of having quite a large breakdown later on that sort of forces Charlie to reckon with what he wants vs. what he thinks he wants and Nick not forgiving him for a very long time.