chauraha

[chauraha]

"**The End of Hogswarth: A Chaotic Comedy of Errors**  

*With Bumblee as the Antihero, Discworld’s Finest as the Bumbling Cast, Three Witches, and a Crowd Gone Mad*

Once upon a time, in the enchanted kingdom of Hogswarth, where nothing ever made much sense, a great disruption descended upon its hallowed halls. The kingdom was built on bird-song, enchanted scrolls, and an endless river of cats doing unmentionably cute things. The wizards, witches, and technical sorcerers of Hogswarth moved in delicate chaos, working on things no one understood, and talking about things that didn’t really matter. 

But then, *He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named*—the one they called *Bumblee*—entered the kingdom. And when Bumblee arrived, Hogswarth’s delicate equilibrium shattered like an ill-cast spell.

---

### Chapter 1: **Bumblee Arrives, and Everything Immediately Goes Wrong**

It began with a loud clang as the doors of Hogswarth burst open, and Bumblee strode in with the confidence of a wizard who had once seen a spell work by accident. His eyes gleamed with excitement—or was it madness?—and he looked around at the bustling crowd of wizards and witches who were, at that very moment, desperately trying to look useful.

"Right!" Bumblee announced, cracking his knuckles in the most *un*wizard-like manner. "Time for some... change."

And that was when the panic began. 

At the first sign of Bumblee's gaze landing on someone, the crowd erupted into chaos. Wizards who had spent their careers quietly mumbling incantations in dark corners suddenly began running about, summoning spells no one had asked for. One wizard conjured a flock of enchanted owls, hoping to prove his usefulness by showing off his "avian messaging system." The owls, however, had other plans, and immediately began dive-bombing the nearest enchanted espresso machine.

"You!" Bumblee shouted, pointing to a jittery man standing by the now-collapsing espresso machine. "What do you do?"

The man gulped, sweat pouring down his face. "I—I manage the Glitter and Sparkle Division! We ensure that every spell is... um... visually pleasing?"

"Fired!" Bumblee declared, waving him off. "We don't need sparkle. We need... action!"

Pandemonium erupted. Wizards began tossing out random spells and enchantments in the hopes of proving their worth. A puff of pink smoke filled the hall as a particularly desperate sorceress tried to enchant her own resume into Bumblee’s hands. Instead, it turned into a frog, which promptly hopped onto his foot.

"I don't have time for frogs!" Bumblee bellowed, kicking the poor amphibian into a corner.

A chorus of gasps echoed through the hall as a voice from the shadows murmured, “Ah, yes. The chaos begins.”

It was Lord Vetinari, perched on a high balcony, watching the scene unfold with his usual calm detachment. “Interesting. He’s either going to burn this place down or… no, just burn it down.”

---

### Chapter 2: **Rincewind and the Maddening Orb of Doom**

Down in the depths of the castle, Rincewind, Hogswarth's most nervous wizard, was frantically trying to manage the Orb of Continuity, the magical artifact that kept the entire kingdom's enchantments from imploding. The orb was glowing an ominous red, pulsing with each new catastrophic decision Bumblee made.

"Oh no," Rincewind muttered, pacing in tight circles. "Oh no no no no no..."

The crowd upstairs had begun to stampede in a rush to avoid being the next one sacked, their magical outbursts causing tremors that reverberated down to Rincewind’s lab. A particularly loud *thud* from the floor above caused a puff of dust to rain down, making Rincewind jump.

His hands trembled as he poked the orb with his wand. The red glow intensified, and a loud, echoing hum filled the chamber.

*Boom!* Another explosion from upstairs. This time, it was a crystal ball full of angry tweets from wizards who’d just been fired. Rincewind jumped again, nearly losing his hat.

"HELP!" Rincewind yelled, not really expecting help to arrive.

Sure enough, the Librarian, Hogswarth’s stoic orangutan and IT savior, appeared silently at his side. Without a word, the Librarian thumped the orb with his massive, hairy fist. The glow dimmed, and the hum faded.

"Oook," the Librarian grunted, rolling his eyes at Rincewind.

"Thanks," Rincewind wheezed. "You know, one of these days, I’m just going to pack up and run."

"Oook," replied the Librarian, which Rincewind took to mean *You’ve been saying that for years.*

---

### Chapter 3: **Moist von Lipwig Spins the Chaos**

Meanwhile, in the Grand Hall of Deception—also known as the PR Department—Moist von Lipwig was in his element. Watching the panic and madness unfold around him, Moist knew one thing for certain: if ever there was a time to spin a disaster into a glorious success, this was it.

"People of Hogswarth!" Moist bellowed, addressing the magical floating mirrors that broadcast his face across the kingdom. "Fear not! This is not chaos—it’s *progress!* Bumblee is leading us into a bold new era!"

Behind him, Bumblee could be seen clambering atop a stack of magical scrolls, waving a rusty sword like an overly enthusiastic squire who’d just been handed his first piece of armor. Sparks flew from a severed orb cable, and several wizards fled from the scene in sheer terror.

Moist smiled through gritted teeth. "As you can see, everything is perfectly under control."

A particularly loud crash from Bumblee’s direction caused Moist’s eye to twitch.

"Just a minor... adjustment!"

Vetinari, watching from his perch, raised an eyebrow. "Dishonest honesty. He does it well."

---

### Chapter 4: **The Witches and Their Prophecy**

Far above the castle, atop a tower where no sane wizard would dare venture, three witches stood around a cauldron, cackling madly. Their wild hair whipped about in the wind as they peered into the swirling depths of the brew.

"When shall we three meet again?" asked the first witch, her voice full of glee.

"When Bumblee’s plans fall apart, and Hogswarth doth strain!" replied the second, grinning a wicked grin.

The third witch, who had a bit more sense than the other two, squinted into the cauldron. "I see chaos… and cats. Lots of cats. And… ooh, sherry! We’ll need sherry for this."

Their cackles echoed across the night sky, mingling with the sounds of Hogswarth’s desperate employees scrambling for their jobs.

---

### Chapter 5: **Bumblee’s Sword of Disaster**

Down in the depths of Hogswarth, Bumblee had gotten his hands on a rusty sword (where he found it, no one knew, nor dared to ask). He was now using it to "fix" things. Specifically, he was using it to prod at the kingdom’s magical orbs that powered *everything.*

"How hard can it be?" Bumblee muttered, jabbing the sword into a particularly important-looking orb. "I’ve done bigger stuff than this."

With each poke, sparks flew, and the orb groaned ominously. Bumblee took this as a good sign and kept jabbing.

In the background, wizards fled as columns of smoke began to rise. The few who hadn’t yet been fired were frantically throwing spells at random objects, trying to prove their worth.

"Look, I can summon a pigeon!" one wizard cried, as a flock of angry birds erupted from his wand.

Another wizard, who had somehow conjured a rain of sausages, looked in confusion at his wand. "That’s not supposed to happen..."

---

### Chapter 6: **Nanny Ogg Tweets the Kingdom into Madness**

While all this unfolded, Nanny Ogg had taken control of the kingdom’s enchanted messaging system. From her perch in the Great Hall, she tapped furiously at the magical interface, sending out absurd messages to the kingdom at large.

> “Aye, me lovelies! If yer spells are a bit wonky, just give ’em a good smack! #HedgehogsRule #Bumblee’sMuckingThingsUp #JustAddSherry”

Her bizarre and rambling messages quickly spread across Hogswarth, and before long, the entire kingdom was buzzing with confused excitement. Everyone was retweeting her nonsense, despite not understanding a single word of it.

"Good fun, this," Nanny said with a wink, taking a swig of sherry. "Chaos keeps things interesting!"

---

### Chapter 7: **The Glorious Collapse (But Hogswarth Still Stands?)**

In the heart of the chaos, Bumblee stood triumphantly atop a pile of magical scrolls, his rusty sword in hand, surveying the wreckage. Smoke rose from broken orbs, wizards fled in every direction, and yet... Hogswarth still stood.

Vetinari appeared beside him, as he always did, calm and unbothered. "Curious, isn’t it?" Vetinari mused.

"What?" Bumblee asked, still jabbing at things with his sword.

"That Hogswarth hasn’t collapsed."

“Exactly!" Bumblee said, misinterpreting completely. "All part of the plan."

Vetinari raised an eyebrow so high it almost reached his hairline. "Yes. I imagine *everything* going wrong was precisely what you intended."

Bumblee, oblivious to the sarcasm, nodded vigorously. "Sometimes, you have to break things to make progress! Tear it all down and rebuild stronger!" He gave the orb another poke with the sword for good measure. Sparks flew, but the orb, stubborn like the rest of Hogswarth, simply sputtered and kept glowing. 

"See?" Bumblee grinned. "Still standing."

Rincewind, who had finally managed to untangle himself from a particularly stubborn set of scrolls, stumbled into the room, wild-eyed and panting. "It’s still running!" he gasped. "I don’t know how, but it is!"

The Librarian, standing beside a smoldering heap of what was once a server cabinet, gave a resigned "Oook" and calmly thumped another malfunctioning orb back into working order. If anyone noticed the fur starting to smolder on his arm, they were smart enough not to mention it.

---

### Chapter 8: **The Crowd Goes Wild (Literally)**

Meanwhile, the remaining wizards and witches, still in a blind panic over being the next to lose their jobs, had descended into a full-blown magical riot. One wizard, in his desperation to appear useful, had summoned a small army of rabbits, which now flooded the hallways in a stampede of fluffy chaos. 

"I’m essential!" he shouted, his robes billowing dramatically as he tried to chase down the stampede of bunnies. "You need me!"

Another witch, eyes wide with terror, stood in the center of the Grand Atrium waving her wand wildly. "I can do anything! Potions, spells, transformations! I’ll turn this place into a tea cozy if I have to!"

The crowd surged around her, dodging the flying potions and accidentally transforming bits of furniture into alarmingly large teacups. Someone in the back yelled, "I’ll handle marketing! Look! I can sell anything!" and promptly enchanted a broomstick to sing its own praises in rhyme. The broomstick, unimpressed by its newfound sales pitch, promptly swept him into a corner.

Moist von Lipwig, somehow managing to stay on top of it all, was busy spinning the mayhem into something vaguely resembling order. "This is exactly what Hogswarth needed!" Moist called out, grinning as enchantments crashed down around him. "Bumblee’s shaking things up! Fresh ideas, fresh spells—it's all part of the transformation!"

"That," said Vetinari, who had strolled up beside Moist, "is the most creative use of the word 'transformation' I have ever heard. Truly, you are wasted here."

Moist flashed a grin, one eye twitching. "Survival, my lord. It’s all about survival."

---

### Chapter 9: **The Witches' Final Prophecy**

Far above, on the tower where no sane person ventured, the three witches watched the chaos unfold below with gleeful cackles.

"Look at them down there!" cackled the first witch. "Like a cauldron that’s just about to boil over!"

The second witch squinted down at the scene. "Aye, and boil over it shall. I see frogs, rabbits, flying teacups, and... ooh, what's that? Is that a broom trying to sell itself?"

The third witch, who was by far the most practical of the trio, swirled her hand over the cauldron again. "Aye, but still Hogswarth doth stand. Against all odds, against all chaos, the castle remains. They may stumble, they may crumble, but they’ll always bumble." She smiled. "It's written in the stars—or in the magical contract."

The first witch cackled, throwing her hands up to the sky. "What’s next, then? Shall we cackle some more? Or perhaps brew a potion for luck!"

The second witch grinned. "Nay, sister. I think Bumblee needs no help with luck. Chaos, it seems, is his friend."

---

### Chapter 10: **The Aftermath**

As the chaos began to settle (or, more accurately, burn itself out), Bumblee stood victorious atop the heap of enchanted scrolls, a wild grin on his face. Smoke wafted from several corners of the castle, but the orb continued to hum along, refusing to collapse, as though Hogswarth itself knew that no matter how many mistakes Bumblee made, it would survive. 

"See?" Bumblee said, wiping soot from his brow. "I told you. Sometimes you’ve got to break a few spells to make progress."

Rincewind, still shaking, stumbled up to Bumblee. "But you broke *everything!*"

"Exactly!" Bumblee said, clapping him on the shoulder, causing Rincewind to jump about five feet into the air. "And yet, here we are! Hogswarth lives on!"

From the shadows, Vetinari watched, smiling his thin, calculating smile. "It appears, against all reason and logic, you’ve managed to not destroy the kingdom." He turned to leave, his robes swirling behind him. "A remarkable feat of incompetence that has somehow achieved... survival."

As Bumblee watched Vetinari disappear into the smoky halls, he puffed out his chest and raised his rusty sword high into the air. "Hogswarth shall rise again!"

In the distance, the faint sound of the witches’ cackles echoed through the night, as Nanny Ogg tweeted out her final message of the day:

> “Well, me lovelies, that’s that! Chaos begets chaos, and chaos keeps us going! #BumbleeBumbledIt #StillStanding #JustAddSherry”

And so, Hogswarth remained. Not exactly *thriving,* but certainly still standing. Through flying teacups, enchanted brooms, bunnies, frogs, and magical scrolls, it endured. Bumblee, having made more mistakes than anyone thought possible, somehow kept the castle together — if only because the castle was too stubborn to collapse under its own chaos.

---

### Epilogue: **Hogswarth: The Eternal Bumbling Kingdom**

In the end, Hogswarth didn’t crumble. It didn’t soar to new heights, either. Instead, it bumbled on, just as it always had, a magical kingdom defined by its glorious, incomprehensible madness.

And Bumblee? Well, he remained a hero in his own mind, convinced that breaking everything was just part of the master plan. After all, sometimes chaos isn’t a disaster. Sometimes, it’s just... Hogswarth. 

And in Hogswarth, chaos was the only thing holding it all together.

The End. (Or, as the witches would say, "Not yet. There’s always more chaos to come.")

[chauraha]

kaisay kahon

tum kaho mujh say,

meray naam, meray sawal,

khuwab raaton mein khiyal

sab kaho na mujh say

........... kaisay kahon 

kay jab bhi mann pagal mera

kehnay ko barhta hay

arzoo e shaqu ko nikharta hay

umeed ki dorr ko sehlata hay

tab talak tum, chalay jatay ho

intizar ki gadhiyaan dekh kay

mujhay bhool jatay ho

.......... tab zindagi mujhay bulati hay

haan - zindagi

jo tumhain baar baar bulati hay

mujh say durr, baar baar jatlati hay

khiraaj meri tanhaiyoun ka,

sawal meri riyazatoon ka

khud mujhi say maangti hay

zindagi - tumhain harr dafa, lay jati hay

[chauraha]

tera intizar - aaj bhi hay

umeed hay, arzoo hay, shab e intizar hay

koi bataey, mujhay uska khyal aaj bhi hay

jahan rang tamam meray uskay huay thay

ussi do`rahay pay intizar, aaj bhi hay

mein kaisay kehdoon us-say bhool chuka hon

meri ummed ko milan ka khayal, aaj bhi hay

meray tamam naam uskay liye hain, us-say hain

wo mehr-e-baykhayal, jisssay mera intizar, aaj bhi hay

mein aur woh do sayyaroon kay manind hain

jazb milan nahin, pay gardish mein sawal, aaj bhi hay

meri koi raat uskay bina nahin guzri hogi shayad

ussay bhi meri jafa-oon ka hisar, aaj bhi hay

[chauraha]

Kaha tha na!

Kaha tha na! 

Mujhay tum iss tarah sootay huay matt chor ker jana 

Mujhay bayshak jaga daina 

Bata daina 

Muhabbat ke safar main saath mairay chal nahin sakteeN 

Judai main, hijar main saath mairay jal nahin sakteeN 

Tumhain rasta badalna hai 

Mairi hadd se nikalna hai 

Tumhain kis baat ka derr tha 

Tumhain jaanay nahin daita 

Kahin per qaid ker laita 

Array PAGLI! 

Muhabbat kee tabiyat main zaberdasti nahin hoti! 

Jissay rasta badalna ho 

Ussay rasta badalnay se 

Jissay hadd se nikalna ho 

Ussay hadd se nikalnay se 

Na koi rok paya hai 

Na koi rok pai ga 

Tumhain kiss baat ka darr tha 

Mujahy baishak jaga daitay 

Tumhain main daikh hee laita 

Tumhain koi dua daita 

Kam-az-kamm yuN tu na hota 

Mairay Saathi! Haqeeqat hai 

Tumharay baad khonnay ke Liya kuch bhee nahin baaqi 

Mager khonnay se derta hoon 

MAIN AB SONAY SE DERTA HOON 

[chauraha]

tum  raah e muhabbat kay daiee ho 

hum shorish e wafa kay sudaiee hain

tum arbaab e aql say jaan milay ho

hum takhreeb e junoon say lar baithay hain...................

[chauraha]

Sa-at e baynuma ho;

shorish e bay anjaam'

k firaq e badgumaan

har lehz teri chahat,

k talay jala hon mein,

har tazeez teray naam

...................

[chauraha]

Something to remember you.............

[chauraha]

Chand Nagar

chand nagar ki baatein hum chand nagar chor aiaey

jo jo pyar kay qissay thay saray adhooray chor aiey

shehr e baynuma mein yarro, akrish manzil thehri hay

jo roop bharay sathii thay, pichlay nagar chor aiey

shehr e abd kay champaiee rang, sath hamara chor chalay

baqi kuch hi sansain hain, kab woh bi janay chor jaiey

tum kehdo unn say janay kaisay, par baqi raha naam hamara 

sab waadon mein yadoon mein, jo roop nagar mein chor aiey

subh e nau ki sa-atian, baad e wasl ki chahatain logon 

jitnay dinn thay sath guzaray, sab darr pay uskay chor aiey

[chauraha]

mein bewafa hon

...................................................

chor aiey hain shehr e wafa mein 

bay-jaan si ik morti hum

akhyon mein udaas moti liye

daman mein shab e wasl ki kasak

arzoo-on ko anchal mein chupaiey huay

bay-misl kabi bay saba~at kabi 

milan kay rang mein rangay khuwab

chor aiey hain uss mahrukh ko

wafa kay rog say neem jaan hum

dil ki lagan mein jalti hui

milan ki arzoo say nidhaal

.........................

gehray rog guzray zamanaon kay

an-aik nishan deewar pay thehray

kaiee zamanon say jogi bana kay

har aahat mein thehra uska sawal

larazti hui ungliyon mein doobi

tanhaiyon kay daman mein simti

kaiee khuwabon ki kirchichiyan samoey

zakhmi ankhon mein samoey

chor aiey hain shehr wafa mein 

bay-misl si ik morti

.....................................

kaiee zamanon say chup chaap

dil mein pyar ki yaadein, akayli

badan pay gehray judaie kay daagh

honton kay kinaron say chalaktay hain

ab bi an-aik sargoshiyon kay sarab

thehri huay waqt mein kho kay

baithi hay aaj phir apnay angan kay duwar

pas bulao tu shayad ajaiey 

bayjaan si wo morti

..............................................

dil mein kaiee arman hain uskay

ankhon mein bayhisab sawal

shehr-e-wafa mein woh thehr gaie

baqi sab kay qaflay hain tayyar

...................................

tum bulao tu ajaiey pas

wo pyar say rangi anmol morti

....................................

kal bahut dinn baad jab

mein pas uskay ja baitha

dil say apni kuch keh baitha

daman kay daagh dikha baitha

to khuddam nay kaha

"wafa ka naam na lo""

tum tu baywafa thehraey gaey ho

jog daykay janay walay ho

tum kyon wapis aatay ho

dil ki joot bhujanay walay

tum kya jano dil tor kay janay walay

mein yunhi uth aya

us morti ki ankhon mein pyas day kay

us mahrukh ki mann ki tees liye

mein darwazay say phir palat aya

khamosh andhairay mein chala aya

khud apnay aap mein dhohratay huay

"tum wafa ka naam na lo"

tum tu bas harjaiee ho..

......... July 2013

[chauraha]

tera sarab

hum nay tu samjha tha thodi daraaz hogi umr e shabab

wasl e yaar ki sargoshiyan, ehd e bahar kay saraab

abi thoda aur ubhrain gi meray ishq e baysabr ki liptain

abi zara aur bharkain gi teray naam ki tazeerain

par yunn hua na sahi, aur jo hua wo samjha na sakein

kyon juda huay hum tujh say, teray mil janay kay baad

........................ 6 nov 2012

[chauraha]

akayli shaam

sochta hon kahin wo ye jaan na lay

zindagi uskay bina kitni adhoori hay

...  aur aaj

kaie bars baad bhi mein

uski yaad say toot jata hon

[chauraha]

baqi kya reh jaiey ga

kaiee musafaton ki thakan samaitay

baitha hon khud apni yaadien sambhalay

wo jo pyar say likhi gaien thein

wo sari tumhari sharatein

jo umr kay ras say bhari thiein

sab qissay tumharay, baatein hamari

ghanton baith kay jo kari thein

wo ladaiyaan hamari,

ab umr ki dhara behti hay

par sath tumhara pas  nahin

jo qissay beet gaeiy hain jana

wo qissay shayad hamaray nahin

ab wasl ki akhri„„ bas akhri umeed

wo bi baqi ab shayad nahin

tumhaara naam meray pas rahay

tasveer koi baqi nahin

……………………….

[chauraha]

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

prayers

[chauraha]

\silent prayers

i send her my silent prayers

deep in the pores of my heart

unblemished, untarnished.

i believe in her love

that i always did and will do

for nothing  more ever touched me deep

but love that was sent my way

opening the windows in my soul

i stand here all alone

bathing in her love

i send her just my silent prayers

[chauraha]

her scent

i still feel her scent around me. 

its a strange feeling. i never met her but i know her smell. how could it be. so far away yet so near to me. 

sometimes i feel her near me. somewhere around me circling me or sending me her love. i know she loves me still as i love her. thrown apart by my foolishness and her stubborness. i once told her that we are like two planets circling each other. if we come nearer we will destroy eachother but our love can never let us go away either. holding us dear and near in circles for all times maybe. at that time i never this would be soo true. so true that it will become the reality in my life. 

i never met her or touched her but i still feel her inside me. 

[chauraha]

Just a vent

sometimes you need a vent. a place to visit to go to where one can sit and just reflect on the times going by. maybe thats because i m becoming old or maybe thats because i m a loner stuck in the middle of a chaos. 

i sometimes think of myself as the eye of the storm. right in middle of madness calm as hell. its not that i m not blessed. i m blessed beyond my dreams but what i need sometimes is to sit in the middle of storm with the calmness that seeps in my pores. just to feel the passing moment, just to sit in silence without judgement and objective and reflect on myself. most of the times my thoughts become erratic and move to some unknown territory ....but... once a while it seems i have found something... something divine, something beyond me, someone bigger than my normal rushing to work, meeting deadlines, grocery shopping hours on hours, worrying for future me...... the real me. someone who is not judging me for my silence and just likes to sit with me without any thought. just pure reflection...i have nothing more precious in me than my silent moments. 

[chauraha]

i m someone

i think therefore i am. 

what could it mean. could it be that just because the neuron sparks in my brains are there to elicit my entire being to a jolt or a chemical imbalance motivates me to jump off the ridge or a searing pain in my heart for some other being makes me.......for the sake of argument.... alive? .

What am i ... where am i . what is left and what is gone is it all just a dream and no more.....my dearest love.... i think therefore i am