chauwrites

[chauwrites]

to seoyoung

09/13/18 to hwang seoyoung (maybe she’ll change to moon eunseo ? lul)

seoyoung,

ok i had to write a new letter because the other one was like a month old and nOW I HAVE NEW THINGS TO SAY OBVIOUSLY so this will be a mix of things lol. first of all, i would like to emphasize how appreciative of everything you’ve done for me, from taking a little bit more time to reach out and talk to me to buying my food when we go out. thanks for sharing stories and your feelings with me, thanks for telling me about your life, big or small, and thanks for cooking food for me. i legit can’t forget the ddukbokki and sweet potato meal you made that one time lol i legit caNT make ddukbokki to save my life. anyways, thank you for showing me the simple joys of life. thank you for watching dramas with me, listening to music with me, napping with me. thanks for singing and dancing and joking around with me. i’m comfortable with you in a whole different way. when we’re karaoking, i’m not afraid to dance and make a complete fool of myself. you have a really homey vibe. i don’t know if you would do the same (bc i am an unreliable lil biTCH), but i would literally trust you with my life. i’m sorry i haven’t been the friend you need, but when i get my life back together, I WILL GET OFF MY BULLSHIT and i will start initiating everything > < i’ll send u the explorer posts FIRST ok bitch, no more of these late dms. which, again, i’m really sorry about that. like legit i don’t know why i can’t find the motivation to reply to anyone’s messages but that’s a conversation for another time. i literally can’t believe that you’re 19 already. this actually means 8 years of friendship. 8 years of laughing, baking, trips to atlanta, asian store trips, hiking, rping, watching music shows, online shopping, volunteering, listening to each other’s stories, small references to embarrassing rp stories, staying in, staying up, dancing, etc. i think we’ve baked at least 8 different boxes of boxed cake. we’ve tried to make macarons at least 4 times. the amount of ramen we’ve eaten together? UNCOUNTABLE (lol). thanks for listening to my crazy idea of learning dumb dumb together, or dancing can you feel it at cheekwood. literally i rewatch the video of us doing that and i: shake. thanks for sharing your family with me. i feel like you’ve done so much for me and the reason that you’ve felt so upset about our friendship is because i haven’t been able to do the same. and i feel really regretful about that aspect because friends are supposed to be there with each other and share each other’s experiences and i can’t even do that. and i just wanted to say that i’m sorry. like i’m truly, actually sorry that i’ve been such a shitty friend for you lately even though all you wanted to do was have real conversations with me again. i’m sorry i haven’t put in enough effort into our friendship and I JUST WANT TO SAY IT HERE, i’m sorry i basically victimized myself during our dispute. you had every right to everything you were saying, i feel like every time i replied, i made it all about me. but you were right. you did x, y, and z to try to talk to me again and i couldn’t even tell you what was going on with me and i expected you to know off the bat. like literally i am so, so sorry. i want to change, and i will change. i’m telling you, when winter break hits and i finish my depress hibernating, i will HIT that friendship accelerator and zoom towards you so fast. you are worth every effort made, every pure and genuine friendship, EVERY positive thing in this universe. thank you for gracing my life with your presence, i really am grateful that i have such an amazing person in my life. you have stood with me through thick and thin. i hope that you feel the same way about me.

ANYWAYS i hope your 19th year is a really good one!! signs only point UP yfeel (ignore the ones that point down because they don’t exist in our alternate universe ok). i hope this scrapbook makes you happy, and that we can make more memories to put them in there. i know we have more pictures but i couldn’t access my dropbox because it deleted itself since i wasn’t active for a year, and that made me very sad. imagine: OUR MEMORIES: GONE. but it’s okay because i have them in my head. here are some of my faves (out of the many faves i have)

when we went to the chinese restaurant and i was on my snapchat all-day-everyday bullshit and you were like “no pictures pls” and i was like “n O oO seoyoung unnie i am ur faNnNN” and you were like “ew gross” BUT I KNEW. I KNEW U LIKED IT.

whenever we go hiking at radnor lake with your mom. i always like walking and talking with you. hiking is normally silent when i go with my other knoxville friends so it’s nice knowing that you truly 1up them in several different ways.

when we karaoke for 3 hours. you literally always let me choose most of the songs and i love it when we get a reaLLY high score. throwback to our 100s on akmu’s give love and chen’s ost. WE LOVE OUR OWN VOCALS. and i dance really weird and i don’t know if i’ve told you before, but dancing and letting loose when we sing tgt was just really freeing and i didn’t know i would have the courage to just… go wild in front of anyone

honestly i LOVE it when we just start singing in the car. like it’s a completely different thing from karaoke because it’s so carefree and fun. it’s hard singing with other people because they normally don’t like the same types of songs as i do. btw thanks for not opening judging me about my bad pronounciation >< real fam only

when i went to see you get your senior pics taken. i KNOW IT WAS LOWKEY AWKWARD BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW YOUR OTHER FRIENDS, but i enjoyed it because i got to see another part of your life (also u looked so nice taking all of those pics fam, i loved them so mUCH). like what i like most is getting to see more parts of your life and i was really glad that you invited me to that. worth however much i paid to get into cheekwood that day lol.

that was just some events because if i write anymore, my hand might fall off lol. but thank you SO MUCH FOR BEING IN MY LIFE, YOU COULD’VE EASILY LEFT ME, BUT YOU DIDN’T AND I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU and happy birthday. you deserve the best and ONLY THE BEST. life will look up and I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOUR NEW TOWNHOUSE, LIKE BITCH. SO EXCITED. anyways, I LOVE YOU SEOYOUNG/EUNSEO UNNIE, NEVER FORGET. sorry about rambling and sorry for being a really uncommunicative hoe 😔 have a gOOOd nasty 19, i’m getting fakes and we gonna go to the club XD \m/

[chauwrites]

to yeri

10/06/18 to spectrum yeri / erica mac during her sad girl days where she thought no one cared about her or spectrum enough

YERI,

honestly, it’s been really riveting helping out da crew with this project because this is the first time i’m doing something behind your back >u< everytime you say something about how people don’t care and they won’t do things for you anymore, i think about this project and i wanted to tell you sO BADLY but bam. here we are. anyways, i just wanted to give you a shORT “SHORT” (yknow im wordy rip) appreciation letter. first of all, thanks for being an amazing, capable, creative head admin for both me and irene and the rest of the member of the rp. you come up with the creative ideas and the new methods of executing the events. you want them bigger and better, and you properly do it every time. even your mistakes look flawless. you crank out beautiful edits even when you’re tired and out of inspiration, you work hard to hone in your skills and improve yourself. you set the goals and you complete them. you reach heights no one has gone to before. if there’s a better rp, let me see it. if there is anyone else so dedicated to making sure their rp runs smoothly, let me meet them. spectrum is your baby and legit, this baby will never grow up to be rotten. IMAGINE: the BEST rpr roleplay coming back from the dead to be an instagram rp that basically CHANGES the game for other rps, get talked about on multiple platforms, creates so much hype that the people who used to know you back in 2012-2014 hear about you and come to spectrum to find you again, creates standards for events so high that they’re unable to be replicated, and most importantly, has seen the most growth and dedication the rp world has ever seen. we’re almost 2 years in and our events just get better and better. none of that slack shit. even our art events are better than other places, and it’s because you organize and you plan everything to be above and beyond. the work you do is ABOVE recognition. harvard, ACCEPT MY GIRL KIM YERIM.

second of all, you are literally such a great friend and a beautiful human being. sure, you are hateful @ 9328902493 things in this universe, but you love and appreciate the important things around you and you have clear and set morals that help you be a well-rounded person. every time i need to get something off my mind, every time i need someone there for me, every time i just need to take a break from this university environment, you’re there for me. i’m sorry i’ve let you down and disappointed you these past couple of months. i have a million regrets and LITERALLY a big chunk of them revolve around how i could’ve tried harder to help you, i could’ve tried harder to recruit people or talk to them more or learn more skills or think more creatively to add a new section into our events or how i could’ve replied to your messages in a more timely manner. i’ve pulled myself out of an “unhelpful funk” before and i am willing to do it again because you are WORTH IT. worth every hour spent trying to video edit, worth every hour spent messaging about event ideas and brainstorming instead of sleep, worth every hour that i have of your company. thank you for always trusting me with stories about your family, stories about your life, all of your ideas and all of your rough drafts. thank you for asking for my opinions or being considerate of my bizarre schedules even though you didn’t have to be. thank you for being patient with me these days, even when i mess up. thank you for pretty much always having my back. thank you for encouraging me to do the right things with my life. thank you for all of your words, your courage, and your unwavering spirit. i mean, you are in a spirit slump now but YOU WILL GET IT BACK. I LOVE YOU YERI, YOU GOT THIS. TODAY, SPECTRUM, TOMORROW, THE WORLDDDDD

(p.s the fafsa is open now and u should get on it so you can get aid next year 🤭)

[chauwrites]

to mh

10/28/2018 to spectrum’s minhyuk (the nice one from australia)

MH! happy birthday buddy 😭😭 literally you are one of the KINDEST and most GENUINE person i know and i have no idea how you hold so much patience for things because it’s truly admirable. i know we don’t talk much individually and when we are tgt in a groupchat, i come and go so we STILL don’t get to talk, BUT i just wanted to let you know that i still consider you as one of my closest friends because i know you’ll be there for me and i’ll be there for you, too! just wanted to let you know that if you ever needed anything, i’ll be there for you (cue friends’ theme song hehe). you literally exude this kind of sunshine-esque mood and you make LITERALLY everyone feel so comfortable and at home (how do you do that, chem majors are supposed to b cold and heartless bc they like doing tedious math-to-science application problems ???), and i’ve always really liked that about you. i had a really big friend crush on you for a long time (yknow, friend crush ?? when u wanna be friends w someone ??) AND NOW IM GLAD THAT WE ARE FRIENDS. you’re funny and you make the best comments and you send the best memes to the gc, and your food stories are bomb and IM GOING TO BE REAL WITH YOU, i don’t know why i like you so much, but i just do. it’s a compliment because this means that i don’t need a reason to enjoy spending time with you, i just want to. and i’m sure that’s the same with a lot of other people as well. thanks for being my friend and happy birthday again !! WE SARANG URI MAKNAE 4EVA 😍💘

[chauwrites]

the distance in between

GIVE YERIN A WILL TO LIVE: in form of a super overdue short story

(the chat doc’s “suho and you are in a long distance relationship (18/01/2015)”) (jung yerin, intl. uni student x kim junmyeon, exo member!AU)

it’s been really hard for junmyeon these days.

everyday, he’s been rushing back and forth from the practice room to the recording studio to prepare for the upcoming comeback, he’s constantly meeting with his manager to discuss his new theater roles and how it will affect his team activities, and he still has to go through interviews and music shows to perform with the rest of his group members. on top of that, he has this overbearing guilt on his mind that he isn’t giving his girlfriend enough attention.

“hey junmyeon, you can sleep while i fix your hair. it’s going to take a while,” the stylist tells him while she pulls at his roots.

junmyeon waves her off politely and holds up his phone, “no, it’s alright. i can keep myself busy.”

“are you sure?” she asks, slightly unconvinced, “you look like you could use some rest. the rest of the boys are already in dreamland.”

junmyeon looks around the room to find everyone packed together on the couch, napping on each other’s shoulders. half of them have been already fixed up, and the other half are still waiting for their turns. junmyeon looks down at his phone and sees that he has finally gotten a reply.

“i’m fine,” he smiles, “just continue and i’ll rest when you’re finished.”

as the stylist continues to pull at his hair, junmyeon responds to yerin, his long distance girlfriend of two years. it’s been a really tough commitment for the both of them, but he loves her so much, the few times that they get to talk make all of the hardships worth it. every message she sends him, every voicemail, every picture of her meals, every sliver of interaction with her makes him feel whole and complete inside.

perhaps, this is what being in love truly feels like?

—

today, junmyeon has the entire dorm to himself. a day like this rarely happens, but today, jongdae, minseok, and baekhyun flew to china to meet up with yixing, jongin went to the dance studio, sehun and chanyeol have a photo shoot together, and kyungsoo is guest hosting a radio show.

so junmyeon spends the entire day tidying up the dorm for once in his life. he’s probably the messiest and unkempt person in existence, but he’s in a cleaning mood today and he’ll milk it for all its worth. as he’s cleaning, he’s messaging yerin and she’s telling him all about her day.

she went to all of her classes except for chemistry because she’s trying to avoid turning in a post-lab she didn’t complete yet, she met up with two of her on-campus friends and they went to go eat lunch together at the dining hall, and now she’s back at her dorm room trying to study for her economics exam. she prolongs the small talk before she finally admits to junmyeon that she thinks she’s coming up with a fever.

junmyeon drops all of his cleaning supplies and pulls out his laptop. he sets it on the dining table before he calls her on skype.

“junmyeon!” yerin greets excitedly, “you didn’t have to call.”

“baby, no, it’s about the time we normally video call anyways,” junmyeon smiles upon seeing her face. the camera and the lighting makes her face look a little bit grainy, but he’ll take what he can get. when he looks at her face, he wonders if people can grow even more beautiful with every passing day.

while yerin does her assignments, junmyeon starts making an early lunch in the kitchen. they chat for a bit in lieu of their tasks, but ultimately, they fall into a steady and comfortable silence. when junmyeon finishes cooking, he sits down and eats his lunch while reading naver articles and listening to the soft drag of yerin’s pencil against her notebook pages.

in times like this, junmyeon realizes how he gradually grew to appreciate the small moments in his relationship with yerin. even though he isn’t there to tell her how much he loves and cares for her all the time, moments like these make him feel like maybe the distance between them isn’t that great.

when he glances over at yerin after he finishes his last bite, he finds her asleep with her head resting on her arms. he laughs a bit, before he pushes his dishes aside and does the same, except for him, he’s wide awake and he’s watching her sleep. she looks peaceful, even with all of the college stress weighing on her shoulders. junmyeon realizes that he misses her. he wants her to come back home.

as he moves from the dining table to the couch in the living room, he whispers three words to her and hopes that she’ll be able to hear him in her dreams.

“i love you.”

[chauwrites]

my chị is better than yours— favorite chau bui pictures (2).

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my chị is better than yours— favorite chau bui pictures.

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