checkyourpower-blog

[checkyourpower-blog]

I don’t have an extensive story, but what I will say is that David would often push back on people talking about the harms of white supremacy or things that white people have said or done to them and he would always respond with something about how his white girlfriend makes him understand that white people have feelings, too. Just super strange things about white people by framing it around his relationship with a white person. It made me uncomfortable as a person of color that that was the response to criticism of wrongs by white people, especially in the organizing space we were in. (Please post and share anonymously)

[checkyourpower-blog]

Anonymous

Disclaimer: this is not as eloquently written as other stories. But it’s all true.

In Fall 2016, at the beginning of my junior year of college, I was looped into a series of emails regarding a conference and a movement about bringing more social justice organizing on campus. Someone had told a guy named David that I was a leader on campus and would be a good person to bring into this new organization and community, so I remained open to the idea and spoke with him. From the beginning, I remember the extreme lengths I went to in order to get hold of him and understand the scope of the fellowship and FLSPN. To this day, I have absolutely no idea the structural organization of the Florida Student Power Network. This all ties back to the lack of communication, transparency, and misuse of power from my interactions with David.

To my knowledge, there was very little social justice organizing on my small and conservative campus, and no network of activists either. I had made it clear from the start that I would support developing the systems at my college and accepted the position as a fellow for a year. I even went to the trouble of getting it approved for academic credit!

As a naïve college student, I didn’t think much of the tasks David asked me to do at first, but quickly grew frustrated. There was no Florida Student Power Network website at the time, just a vague description of a fellowship position that was outdated, so it was hard for me to get a grip on what was reasonable or not. I ended up doing menial tasks, like looking up the cost of printing materials that he didn’t help make, or recruiting for events he would pass along but not explain. He used my knowledge of the campus to ‘encourage’ me to share events happening elsewhere without supporting my growth or events that I planned. As I worked hard to get other students involved, he was unclear about their payment and structure. He would use their connections to sit in on meetings outside of the school – like with other Central Florida social justice organizations – then provide an unwanted, often crude, opinion. I remained positive and continued to pass along student emails, thoughts on the college structure, and more. He then used this information to ‘encourage involvement’ and request tasks from other students. He believed that anything that I or another participated in should have the FLSPN logo, even if it wasn’t supported or event remotely related. The funny thing out of all of this, is that he often referred to me as one of the “strongest fellow”, even though he probably had no idea what I was working on.

I genuinely don’t remember many interactions with him after the 2016 election. I wasn’t sure if I was still a fellow and rarely heard from him. When he did respond, it was pushy and self-centered, and usually didn’t answer any of my questions. He made promises that he didn’t keep, and I quickly learned to give up on communicating with him.  I remember receiving my stipend months after my ‘fellowship’ concluded, and that the process to ensure my co-fellow was paid was drawn out, seemingly because David did not want to pay her. Even with all of this, he asked me to help recruit for the next year of fellows and I declined, not wanting to put anyone through the frustration I went through.

It wasn’t until I attended a conference in Washington DC and met some fellows from another Florida school in person that I realized that it wasn’t just me who felt frustrated, annoyed, and used. We were the professionals and he was this man-child who wanted all the credit and none of the work.

At the end of the academic year, I wrote a very professional list of suggestions on how to improve for future years and emailed it to him, then never heard back. Everything on that document is still true: the fact that he did not stick to the job description, adding additional tasks and creating burnout and a poor work environment; a lack of transparency of the organization; the fact that David did not “set an example with [his] mannerisms, word choice, [and] accountability”; no presence or support (he wouldn’t answer phone calls and didn’t show up for in-person meetings). My work with him and the FLSPN put a sour taste in my mouth and discouraged me from doing any further social justice organizing work, which holds true to this day.

David Caicedo took advantage of the naivety of college students, knowing we were too timid, inexperienced in the field, and unsure of how the organization worked to speak up. It’s time to force a stop to this pattern and restore the injustices.

[checkyourpower-blog]

Kathleen’s Story

Whatever scares you, controls you. I'm releasing my fear in this letter to the movement here in Central Florida.

For those who don't know me well, my name is Kathleen Melendez. I have been part of the activism community since 2017 and I’m coming forward to share the story of my experience with David Caicedo.

I meet David Caicedo, near the end of December 2016. At that time I was introduced to his organization, FL Student Power Network. I hadn't at the time worked on anything related to social justice or organizing but, I knew that I was passionate about being involved in this type of work.

I had just started college in Spring 2017 and Voices of Solidarity was officially launched in April 2017 which is how I got more in contact with David.  This campaign was standing in solidarity against hate speech and protecting the students on campus after receiving flyers and events promoting white supremacy. David presented himself as someone who could support our campaign. At first, he seemed excited about the event and the work we were doing. However, it became slowly clear that his intentions were to have the event run and programmed by FL Student Power Network. Being new to this organizing, at certain times he was pushy and forced his way into decisions and conversations. I began to see a lack of autonomy in the work we were doing when he got involved. He might have allowed the students to run the event, however I remember him speaking to me about how we should've done the conversation this way or the students running the event were not thinking about it that way. At a meeting with students talking about David's involvement we took note of the way he was speaking and discussing issues around the event with students. I brought up my concern about how I didn't feel David was working with us and how it seemed that he would take resources from the event if we didn't agree.

Soon after, David was let go from direct involvement from the campaign. Around April David asked me if I would like to join the Summer Fellow interns. He made the promise that I would be able to work on a variety of issues around my campus and work with other students on campaigns with the backing of FLSPN. Considering this was my first internship, I felt appreciated and excited by the idea that I could work on things I cared about. The rosy sunglasses quickly disappeared after I was initiated into FL Student Power.

I use "initiated" but, that wasn't really what I received. I was given a short summary of the work FLSPN did by David. Yet there wasn't a formal contract signed, until much later into my fellowship. And, I never received training or a booklet on what exactly the organization did.

It was stated that I would get $1000 for 3 months for the summer fellowship. I would work 10 hours a week and would come into the Organize FL office to do work/meet with David. At 18 years old, I was naive and full of energy to get into organizing. I couldn't be happier, it was my first extra income, and I had this idea I would solely work on campaigns with the official support of FLSPN.  I came in weekly and that’s when I begin to witness behavior that I saw as unacceptable. Whenever I meet with him, he would be late, forget what time we were meeting or, not focused on the meetings, even setting other meetings during our time. He then asked if I would like to work on Communications for FLSPN. Agreeing, he tasked me with working on revamping their social media, and any other things I saw needed work on the communication front. At first, I thought this would be easy however, that wasn't the case at all. Most of the communication pages weren't updated, and we only had a FB and IG to update the public about our organizational work. I saw this as a major problem because I realized that I couldn’t direct people to see what was being done. I told David this but was initially disregarded. He didn’t think we needed a website if we had a facebook page. It wasn’t till later that we got in contact with a website developer due to another fellow's persistent emphasis on the need  of a website if we were going to be a professional nonprofit and to follow best practices.

Along with communication David also tasked me and another fellow with working on the structure of the organization. Astonishing to me, the organization wasn’t set up to a full running capacity. What I saw was an unorganized, unclear picture, and lack of transparency of what FL Student Power Network’s main function was supposed to be. The organization barely had a couple of pages about the fellowship program, mission, vision, structure, long term goals, and short term goals. The task was a formidable one because we barely understood how the organization was supposed to be set up. When asked, David wasn't clear. For me, it was worrisome because the structure only showed one individuals that he was accountable to name, Billy, and a Board that was made up of the Statewide Alignment Group (SWAG). I didn’t know at the time who and what was SWAG and how they could hold our organization accountable. But, it seemed to me that David was annoyed with my questions and why it mattered that there was a top-down approach to the organization.

This is also at the same time I started getting uncomfortable with the pressure he was extending and how he was introducing me to people. I understood his motivation but, he never went as far as to consider my comfortability. I was in a standstill to do what I was "needed" of me and not feel pressured into situations with talking to people and inserting myself into spaces. On multiple occasions, I had to communicate to David to slow down into bringing me into meetings, events, and conversations where I didn't feel comfortable being in. Another point I brought up to him was him asking me to take notes in meetings and continuously putting me in places to make phone calls and play the secretarial role commonly considered a women’s position. He mentioned to me, that it was because I was really good at taking notes. Which I didn’t take that as a compliment.

Yes, through his leadership, he afforded me opportunities to travel to DC and participate in different actions and conferences, however, I felt that at times there was a hidden price that came with coming along on these trips. He would come and "ask" for me to involve myself in conversations or meet this person or another and I felt like I was trying to fill in the blanks on why he wanted me to interact in these conversations, again with no prior conversation that had occurred. I constantly felt as though I was being steamrolled by his decisions. It worried me that his interactions with individuals felt transactional. What could he do for them? Where could FLSPN network fit into this? How should I be placed?

I remember this was one of the major points of contention I had with him. Even though he explained that it’s the way he understood organizing, he promised he would get better at making sure he wasn’t doing this.

I still felt though that fellows and I were always working on several different events without a real set of guidance to why, even though we tried to get clarification. In the end, it felt like we were constantly left in the dark about what we were supposed to be doing. There was also the fact that when events occurred and FLSPN failed to show up or meet the high expectations that David set beforehand. It felt like I had to explain David’s negligence when events didn’t pan out. It left no room to feel accomplished in the work we were doing. It was just easier to run with the chaos.  In those moments  I started to feel empty in what I was doing with the organization.

In the fall of 2017, the payment got lowered to $500 for the Fall Fellowships.

It was more than just about the money but feeling like my work wasn't valued. A lot of my self-worth was put into this work I was doing because I felt like it was serving a higher purpose for myself and the ones close to me. I didn’t allow myself to validate my anger, frustration, or hurt because I kept telling myself this was helping people who were stuck and felt helpless by corruption, and the systems we face daily. It was at that point, near the end of the fellowship, I began to feel an overwhelming weight of disappointing in myself. It grew into this discontent and in the times I could barely voice where it started and where it ended. It left me incredibly burnt out. I was disillusioned by the promises of work geared to what I wanted to focus on and instead worked primarily on the re-structuring the organization for 2017-18 because it was falling apart at the seams. We were overextending our resources, with no way to keep account of the fellow's work from other regions. On repeated occasions, I spoke up to David on figuring out how to improve this system. But, David ignored the request for fewer fellows and a clearer understanding of the mission this organization should have been following.

Mentally, at this point, I couldn't handle this feeling of working towards an unattainable goal with a leader who rarely asked if I was okay with the work we were doing. I was at a loss, 19 years old and trying to figure out how I would have to have a courageous conversation with an executive director who didn’t seem to listen to those working under him. Time, and time again I felt like I had to be warning David that his tone with people wasn’t right and that he should be more caring towards the fellows because what I witnessed was a leader who became easily annoyed and disregarded others. I felt like I shouldn’t have had to be saying this to a leader, but he would outwardly express his frustration with others never considering the boundaries that these crossed. That feeling stuck with me because I felt like I should have said something and didn’t. It took me a while to have enough confidence to even bring up those thoughts to him.  

By the end of my fellowship, I was extremely tired of his behavior and tone of speaking with fellows. I didn't know what else to do than speak with another leadership from another office to ask for help in dealing with my issues with David's behavior. Their advice, in hindsight, was wrong. They said I should have a conversation with the 4 I’s (Incident, Intention, Impact, Invention) to air my grievances with David in the hope that he would listen and change. Yet the power dynamics alone was enough to see that accountability wouldn’t take place.

Despite him being apologetic and promising change, I didn't get to witness any change occur because I wasn't asked to be a fellow after 2017.

It came back full circle however when I was doing work with them in July. They were hosting another organization and David asked if I would like to participate in being a trainer for the weekend. He let me know a week prior to their arrival and I wasn’t given the materials until a day before they came. I wasn’t paid for my work and I was quickly reminded of the many issues that had continued even after I left. The weekend was ill-prepared and David was not focused nor did he have a set agenda for the weekend. The folxs in the organization were outwardly frustrated and confused about what was supposed to be planned. I was asked directly, “Why don’t we have an agenda if you all knew 3 months before that we were coming?” I hadn’t but, David did. The tipping point for me, however, was when a staff member was yelled at for asking a question about a mishap in the schedule. The tone, her response, her physical reaction left me hollowed out. It reminded me exactly of the type of treatment I was told he would work on. I asked her about what had happened and if he spoke to her like that often. Her answer didn’t surprise me. It was so similar to my story-- the same type of behavior still hadn’t changed. I had spent so many months working on improving myself and trying to find a semblance of closure. However what I witnessed  in July reminded me of how I went on my way to ignore so many issues that happened with David, but enough was enough.  

I couldn’t stand back and allow this to happen, letting time pass, and letting people get hurt. This is why I’m sharing my truth because I sought out fellows, staff, and heard stories that reflected mine in so many ways it scared me. Young people were left and hurt because they had a vision that this work would create change, that they would be able to leave their imprint in someone’s life for the better. What came out, was exploitation, manipulation, and fear that has left many rejecting the work and so-called community/family of the nonprofit sphere.

What I'm witnessing is a deliberate display of performative activism paired with a lack of empathy. For those who are reading this and have set aside ego and power to listen to those who have been pushed out of this movement I thank you. If it wasn’t for you all, I wouldn’t be able to be here, writing this letter. You have allowed me to grow, to reflect, to not just hold myself up, but, be able to help other people along the way.

Unfortunately, there are still many people in this movement unwilling to set aside unchecked power and ego. I have been told that we must do what’s best for the “collective.” Another way to that say we aren’t willing to listen right now or spark the much-needed change. It truly saddens me to see the incredible talent and passion that has left this movement and instead what stays are individuals who can’t be touched by growth or accountability. It has left me, even more, disillusioned and bitter over the movement we call a family. I have lost so much respect for people I thought I could admire. Where does that leave us? If the "best" people can't be judged and pushed to change. That we must struggle with people in order to make our movement strong? We forget that you are hurting people in the process. We have to stop assuming that this is the best course of action and erase the hurt that real people must go through. We are telling people that if you aren’t a martyr in this movement you don’t belong here.

WE have left people. And we have allowed them to get hurt. No matter what your subjective opinion is about the situation people have been hurt.

Not one person I talked to hasn't expressed to me of being hurt in one way or another by David. They may have handled it differently, may affected them in a different extent but, hurt is hurt. And for me a pattern of hurt is harm. There is an open wound and we have allowed harm to fester and continue to leave people to get wounded and for what? To protect the community? Or is it to protect a system of unchecked power?

A community is nothing without the people in it. Anyone who has sat sideline and not addressed the issue has been complicit. I don't want to be in a community who props these organizers up, and at the same time watch as they fight against these oppressive systems of harm. How could we ever move forward? How could that ever be sustainable?

I’ve learned that this isn’t going to heal me or leave me with a resolution of peace. I’m putting myself out on the line because despite people supporting a restorative process with David, and his agreement I don’t think we will ever get the “presence” of his full cooperation. We called him into this restorative justice process because we recognize we need to first confront the harm that has been done and honor the ones that have been harmed by his actions. What I asked was to have a process, with a facilitator at the beginning of January. I was ready to have this process in November when we agreed to going forward with this path. Now we are here almost 5 months later waiting to begin. He has dishonored the process from the beginning even though we have opened this up and allowed this chance to go through what has happened and communicate our hurts face to face. I can no longer afford more disrespect and this emotional roller coaster when I have seen from him a lack of prioritization to address these issues. It’s time to #checkourpower.

[checkyourpower-blog]

Elliana’s Story

I have to begin my story by saying that I don’t know if I have been hurt or harmed. I couldn’t even tell you what the difference between them is. What I can tell you is that these past few years have left me feeling mixed feelings. I wish that I could say all of them have been positive. As you can probably guess, that would not be true. I have felt burned, isolated, rejected, manipulated, used, disregarded, pushed to the side, and most of all disgusted. I was sold a dream. A grand dream, the illusion of a better world where people fought for what was right regardless of the cost.  Sure, I was idealistic. I was not ready for the transactional relationships that made it hard to trust everyone I was working with. I was not ready for a movement that sacrifices people for “more important causes”. There is no employee manual that lays out the dos and don’ts of organizing. This work has led me to some of my lowest lows. It has contributed to my struggles with anxiety, depression, and has made me continuously question if this is worth it.  I have come to realize that my experience is not unique. It is no coincidence that many of the young people I know have similar experiences and feelings. We should all be questioning why our movement so often looks like the very systems we are fighting against.

Beginning in Fall of 2016 I and a bunch of other students started working on a campaign that focused on getting hate speech off of our campus. This is around the time that I met David. He presented himself and Florida Student Power Network as a resource for students. He offered us opportunities to expand our organizing experiences by paying for flights, lodging, and conferences we wouldn't have been able to afford. However, not all of us got these resources. It was decided by David who was most deserving of money and connections. He began to insert his wishes and overstep boundaries. At this point, I saw that we were losing control of our student-led coalition.

At the same time, I was interning at a local nonprofit and noticed the many professional and personal relationships he had in the local movement. Out of nowhere he was in more organizing spaces and building more relationships with well-known organizations all over the state. As I became more frustrated, I began to seek out help. The first person I approached was the director of the organization I worked for. I then asked multiple people of that organization on separate occasions to speak with him. I also tried speaking with him with the support of another organizer in the hope I would see change. I can’t say that much did. There didn't seem to be anyone to hold him accountable.

 Students were starting to recognize their similar experiences with David. This resulted in a meeting that took place with FL Student Power Network fellows, interested students, and members of the Progressive Coalition at UCF to discuss our relationship with David and how it needed to change. At this meeting, it was revealed that he was trying to create another coalition on campus. There was no consensus among the twenty or so people on a plan of action in regards to David’s relationship with the campaign and us. It left us in a tricky place to navigate how we wanted to move forward. This is when I decided that I didn’t want to work with FLSPN or David because I noticed that he was being transactional, manipulative, and I wasn’t going to continue to put myself in those situations. I couldn’t see how I could ever work with/for him and keep my mental health in check.

He had a habit of saying things that I could only describe as inappropriate. There are two occasions that I distinctly remember him saying something that made me feel uncomfortable:

At a student-led training, I attended the spring of 2017, David made an appearance. At the end of the training, I was talking with other black and brown women about how the day had gone. He walked over and asked us to hand him something he could have easily picked up himself. When we said no he retorted with something along the lines of  “It’s fine. I’ll just get my white girlfriend to do it”. By the way, she wasn’t in the room or the state, and I’m not sure if any of us even knew who she was at the time. We all just looked at him in disbelief.

During the time of my internship, David would come into the office, as many would, and talk to employees who worked there. Apparently, another student organizer and I hadn't done something that he didn’t want us to do. He proceeded to talk to my boss about how he didn't like how I was acting in front of me. This happened on more than one occasion. I can't speak for how he meant that to come across but I was hurt and it made me scared that he could talk me out of a job. Thankfully I have had a good relationship with that organization but I feared that if that situation had happened somewhere else I couldn't predict the outcome.

I have been going back and forth on whether or not I should share this. There are others that may not want to speak because of their continued proximity to him and the potential loss of resources. I’ve been asking myself questions about this, questioning whether this is fair, just, or vindictive. I mentioned earlier, that I made the decision not to work with or for him. Many of my friends, for their own reasons, did not. And because they did, they got burned. Am I a contributor to their pain for not speaking louder or fighting harder? I don’t know. What I can do now is share what I remember feeling in the hopes that someone else might read this and know what they are getting into.

[checkyourpower-blog]

Stephanie’s Story

I first met David in 2017 when I was apart of the Progressive Coalition a student-founded and led coalition of student organizations. At this point, we were working on a campaign to combat hate speech and white supremacy on and around the UCF campus. David had come in charismatically, offering us the resources that we hoped with his help would be able to get the campaigns we had off the ground. It was then I was introduced to how he interacted with students. At first, I believed that it was because he wanted to see the best in us and wanted for us to have what we needed but his approach began bordering on the line of obsessive and controlling. There were multiple incidents where he would push students to talk with people who they were not prepared to talk with. He also began to push the coalition to take the campaign bigger and farther and repeatedly told us that he wanted our campus to be the blueprint for other campuses across the state. There was even an implication, in my opinion, that he wanted for the coalition to create something that could be used nationwide. I was overwhelmed and did not feel prepared to take on that big of a challenge. Our focus was on making sure that the black, brown, and undocumented students of color at UCF were safe and protected. When the progressive coalition decided to move away from him because we were uncomfortable he recruited other students to essentially spy on one another and even went so far as to ask them to create a list of who would be against and for him. He made it believed that if we did not let him offer us advice he would take away the resources and connections that he had given us.

There were also rumors among the students that he was persistent on co-opting the progressive coalition to make it a club on campus under the name of FL Student Power Network. He urged students that this was the best way for us to have full access to resources and connections.

Many of the students, including myself, didn't know how to interact with this and sought help from a national organization when we were at a conference in DC which had been paid for by David and FLSPN. We felt that we were completely in over our heads and didn't know where to turn. I was grateful for the opportunities that he introduced us to but even at this conference, we ran into problems with his pushiness, not listening to what we had to say, and began to hear stories from other fellows in the program about how he treated them.

We believed that by turning to this national organizer for guidance they would be able to help us determine if this was normal behavior from leaders in the movement and helps us figure out next steps when we were back in Orlando. I had asked the organizer to keep the conversation between those that had been at the table so that we would be able to organize our thoughts and their ideas before reaching out to David and they assured me that the conversation would stay between us.

At this point, I figured that we would be able to move past these harms and grow because we were assured from this national organizer that our problems with him could be and would be remedied with her help.

I was not expecting that summer to hear a call from him confronting me about the conversation that I had had with this organizer. He was insistent that he wanted answers and wanted to talk about my grievances. This call happened the day of the Pulse shooting anniversary and I was completely caught off guard, neither in the headspace or environment (through the phone) to talk about this with him. He insisted that I talk with him and ignored my request to move it until I was forced to make my voice stern to get his attention and tell him that I would not. After this conversation, he made no attempt to try to reconcile and from then our relationship was strained.

I was concerned about our relationship since he was someone that I would continue to see in spaces and so I reach out to other organizers in the community to find a way to reconcile and talk through it. We never did have a conversation but at this point, I was no longer volunteering or super active in the same spaces he was so I left the conflict to sit in hopes that we would both be able to move on. During this time, my sister Kathleen was working for him and began to experience exploitative behavior from David. Because of his mistreatment of her, I began to harbor negative feelings against him. She tried on multiple occasions to talk with him and I was witness to him working her for long hours, forcing her to come in, taking advantage of her labor and time and not listening to her when she spoke.

After Kathleen had multiple conversations with him, we were informed that he was going to attend a training that would make him a better organizer and have him reflect on his past actions against other students. I thought that this would be the solution to the problems that we encountered with him and looked forward to him being a better organizer.

I tried to take the mindset that everyone makes mistakes and that he was learning and growing from this. No one is perfect in the movement and each of us had to learn in the ways that were best for us. I assumed that he also believed this and wanted to do and be better. My attitude towards him changed because I began to see him stand up for students and respect their boundaries and opinions. As my sister and I were no longer involved with the FLSPN, I was only privy to his outward personality. I had no idea that behind closed doors he was still treating students the same way he had treated me and those that I cared about.

It wasn't until the Summer of 2018 that I overheard his conversation with a young femme identifying staff member, berating them and talking to them in a sharp tone for not understanding an agenda for a specific training. It was here at this event where I saw similar patterns of behavior, of him leaving things for the last minute, forcing students to make up for what he had forgotten to do and overall leading a chaotic environment. I knew then that nothing had changed.

He didn't care and according to one person we talked to, even considered students and fellows as people who didn't know anything and had no right to complain. How could we have someone like that leading and interacting with young leaders?

He would put up an act in front of people and make it seem that everything was alright when in fact fellows and even staff were being mistreated. This was a tactic that I knew all too well. I began to talk to other students who had worked in the organization in the past and their stories each followed a pattern of exploitation, mistreatment, and disregard. All young, all on a spectrum of femininity and all looking forward to making change in their community.

In the Fall of 2018, the Progressive Coalition met up to discuss our annual expo, and the conversation if FLSPN should be invited came up. Erin, Kathleen and I, told the coaltion that we believed that FLSPN was exploiting its students and we suggested that we do not invite them in an effort to protect students from being harmed. The next day, I received a text, while I was at work, from David asking me how he could “mend the fractured relationship” after he was informed by someone in the group that we were telling students that FLSPN was exploiting students. I indicated that I would need to talk about this more in person and he agreed. This is what lead to the start of a conversation around us having a restorative justice process with him.

I knew that I needed to say something and talked with other femme folks in my circle about finding a way to hold him accountable and make peace. I didn't want to hurt David. I truly wanted to continue to work with him in the community as long as he was held accountable and apologized for what he has done to us and as long as he wanted to make a change within himself.

To come to this point, to spread my story and share it on social media did not come easily and I have been back and forth on how to do this effectively without endorsing a cancel culture in our movement. My mental health has suffered and I worry about the implications that it could have on everyone involved. I have come to the point however, for better or worse, that this is the way it needs to go. We had wanted a restorative justice process to heal and grow and by the end of 2018, I was beginning to think that change was possible because he had agreed. After multiple conversations through our facilitator and other folks in the community however, we were suddenly met with a wall - lack of communication and clarity. Even after multiple emails on behalf of our facilitator, conversations he has had with staff and with other folks in the movement, we have yet to have a concrete start date and confirmation on a restorative justice process that centers those that were directly harmed. All we keep getting is lip service and empty promises, further proof in my mind, that he would do anything to control the narrative and how we wish to go forth.

I can no longer listen to the stories of others and not do anything, other femme folks in our community are being hurt, silenced, and being pushed out of the movement. We are losing valuable voices. How long should abuse fester in our movement before someone thinks about the people that put their heart and soul in this work?

[checkyourpower-blog]

Erin’s Story

When I first met David in Spring 2017, I had just transferred to UCF and was in my first semester. I didn’t really know very much about organizing when an online hate group was targeting Dreamers at our school by threatening to “report and deport” them.  The only person I knew to reach out to about this was my friend from class, Stephanie. She immediately looped me in on a call with what would later be the Progressive Coalition at UCF to figure out what students could do to handle this serious problem on campus. That is where I first spoke to David and heard of Florida Student Power Network. Since we were a big group and I had no real experience in organizing, at first, I didn't have to interact with David much. Once I began taking on more responsibilities towards our campaign and general efforts moved forward many students fell off, too busy with work or finals, so I began working more frequently with David. He would try to get me to fill up my plate with tasks and assignments I wasn’t getting paid or credited for. It’s not like he would ever directly force you, no he would just imply that things wouldn't work out or get done if you weren’t able to always meet the demands. As a student its often difficult to say no when being called upon by a person in a position of power. You feel obligated or like you’re letting everyone down if you can’t take on the world as a student organizer.I soon started to notice that any ideas or decisions made by me or the students for the campaign were being overlooked by him. Either he would “suggest” something else or take the idea and make it his own. He made many of us feel like our plans weren't good enough and didn’t attract the necessary attention he wanted. He wanted to do things that got us noticed, he wanted to show off and take credit for things students he mentored did.  I remember feeling sometimes I didn’t agree with the things he wanted to do or planned or was asking from us but what do I know, I'm just a young student who knows nothing about the world of organizing. I did know that his support for us was only consistent when we went in the direction he wanted and if we didn’t then our access to resources or contacts was cut off. Near the end of our campaign, I attended a conference with Stephanie, Kathleen, David and other FLSPN fellows(I was not one) in Washington D.C….While we were there Stephanie, Kathleen and I were warned by current fellows of what David was like and we spoke to the then United States Student Association president to get some advice on how to handle the situation. We told her we felt like he was overstepping us, limiting our access to resources and overall trying to take credit for our hard work. We knew she and David were colleagues but she told us we could trust her and that she wouldn’t tell anyone especially not David. We were looking for a mentor, someone in leadership or power that we could trust to give us advice.  That is not what we got. About a month later, so probably May 2017, she called and filled David in on everything we said. Now there were two organizational directors who we felt we couldn’t go to with our concerns. David immediately started calling Stephanie, Kathleen and I trying to get us to talk to him about everything almost like he was cornering us. I literally did not know what to do, he was someone who could make or break my not yet even existent career in organizing. I didn’t want to offend him I just felt very exploited and ignored and I was trying to handle it by going to someone in power that I felt comfortable talking too, ya know, as they teach you to do in school and everywhere else in the world when there is a problem. The way he was trying to handle it felt more like he was trying to cover his ass then deal with our serious concerns. I didn’t take well to the way he was cornering us and decided to not engage while Kathleen went through a process and Stephanie attempted conversations. He then started being very cautious when approaching me, only really pushing me to do things when he could see an opportunity. Eventually, he stopped trying to convince me to take on tasks I wasn’t up for because I was extremely short with him and wary. I got an internship at another non-profit and continued to watch as friends and fellow students dealt with his unchanged, exploitative and transactional behavior. I was even informed by a friend who was a fellow at the time that he was trying to create a log of all the students and their ideologies/beliefs and how they could be pushed in organizing. It was disgusting. As our campaign came to a close I began to hear that he was recruiting to start another progressive coalition on campus since ours did comply with his aspirations. It was already bad enough that he was trying to co-opt our coalition but now he was trying to entirely replace us. Luckily, we had strong connections and relationships around campus so our student created, breed and led coalition remained. I remember talking to my boss at the non-profit I interned at for a while and her telling me that it was unacceptable. Essentially any person I confided in (which wasn't many) agreed that his treatment of students wasn’t acceptable in the movement. I watched as time went by, avoiding him and validating other friends who were dealing with him. Come Spring semester 2018 I desperately needed a job and had a significant amount of experience in organizing. I and other friends applied to FLSPN to be fellows since we needed the money and knew we could organize. Oddly every one of my friends made it except for me. Later I was informed that David told a current fellow that I was not “fit” for FLSPN and continued to trash talk my organizing skills. Not only did he have the audacity to keep me from getting a job but he literally shit talked a student who had no power over him. I wish I had been surprised but this wasn’t the first time I had been told he was talking bad about me. Come Fall 2018 during a progressive coalition meeting it was decided upon that we did not want David or FLSPN at our annual expo because we didn’t want to send student somewhere we felt they were being harmed. We wanted to revisit the idea of their participation next year if they had improved. That information along with Stephanie, Kathleen, and I’s names were told to David. Immediately he started calling Stephanie and Kathleen since I had no recent contact with him. He then decided to call our current bosses and mentors to tell them we were bad mouthing him. He continued to tell people we were gossips to try to discredit us and our harms. We asked our mentor for our positions as Freedom Fellows at the time for a process. It always seemed to feel like David went after people he felt he could mold in his vision and once they showed him they had a mind of their own he trash talked them and let them fall to the wayside. My friends and I were trying since November to get a process with him and were now creeping to April. He has also made a point to say that he no longer sees this process as beneficial since none of us work for student power in any capacity anymore. He “agrees” to go along with it but puts obstacles to prolong it at every turn and I am exhausted.I have felt like the organizing community has really let students down in Central Florida. You sell to us and we come to you with this grand idea of making a difference in the world and that were a movement family only to use and burn us out. If our movement isn’t dealing with harms and abuse of power within itself how do we expect our communities too? I hope anyone who reads this and has dealt with something similar in the movement work knows they are not alone and that there are others fighting out there to continue to make the changes we want to see in the world

-Erin

[checkyourpower-blog]

To those in our Movement Family,

We are writing this letter to inform you of the multiple incidents of harm caused by the statewide director of FL Student Power Network (FLSPN), David Caicedo. We are referring to the numerous accounts of intimidation, toxicity in the work environment, exploitation, discrediting and use of misogyny, David has subjected students, activists, and fellows to since 2016.

We are sending this letter today to express our exhaustion with him and with the Orlando community for insufficiently addressing the harms he has inflicted on students and organizers alike. Rather than fulfill their mission statement to “harness the power of students and youth to create tangible change in our communities and our country”, fellows, organizers, and community members are frequently covering up for David’s ill-preparedness and leadership skills as a director.  

Our choice to send this letter was not taken lightly but as a result of his unwillingness and desire to suspend and restart an already agreed upon restorative justice process by FLSPN staff and organizational observers. This process was set to begin in January but due to this not being a priority for David and FLSPN we now know it will be suspended until May at the earliest. All of these decisions were made without the people at the center of the harm being included which is a consistent trope for abusers to avoid being held accountable.

 We have tried to communicate with local leaders; we have attempted processes, and yet nothing has changed. We, the harmed, have exhausted so much emotional labor just to get a simple response or update from those involved in our process,   This includes months accommodating his schedule, who he wants in the room, and any political event he finds more important than remedying the harm he has inflicted. Once again those who have been harmed have been swept under the rug. We have been taught to speak out in the face of harm, collectivize our power, and fight back from allowing harms to continue. This is exactly what we plan to do. We are calling on you our movement family to listen, acknowledge, and take action with us.

 During our time working with David, we have received several complaints and have experienced accounts of the aforementioned harmful patterns of behaviors. By this, we mean creating a work environment where people were pressured into taking on uncomfortable tasks and situations they felt unprepared for. As well as being made to feel that their work and themselves were not valued. Many times feeling too intimidated to speak out about it which allowed the harm to continue. All of this allows for a toxic workplace to fester. He has pitted students against each other by asking for documentation on what students were with him or against him.

 We are also aware of various instances of him making maliciously motivated negative statements about student activists to other community organizations and leaders. These are just a few of the ways he created a toxic space to work, including harassing students both in person and electronically until he gets the desired outcome. Of course in these spaces, we are encouraged to hold relationships with those we work with, but we believe there is a line of what is and isn't appropriate. He blurred the lines between the personal and professional by using drugs and alcohol to gain favoritism with possible student mentees.

 All of this comes down to one word, and that is exploitation. The uneven power dynamic between his leadership and student fellows lead to an unstable workplace and an overall fear for job security.  While working with students, he took advantage of their naivety and eagerness to engage in activism.  Not only did he not pay students enough for their work but he had them working excess hours and putting more in then they could ever receive out. Students felt obligated to take on tasks that were never included in their job description. Most of the time due to his negligence fellows were the ones compensating for the work he didn't prepare for, compromising their own levels of mental and physical well being to complete tasks. Not that their well being was ever a point of concern. David often used his position as a way to take credit for the work of people under him. Several programs, structures, and media that FLSPN still uses today were created by fellows and students who never received recognition. Not only did he do this to students working under him but other activists and local organizations. While taking credit for accomplishments that didn’t belong to him, he also worked towards discrediting those who didn't agree with him. We believe that he prevented students from getting positions within FLSPN if they had spoken out against him as Director.

 Along with preventing students from attaining positions he frequently exhibited favoritism amongst those who did not challenge him. Students and organizations that did challenge him were discredited and cut off from resources. We don’t believe this is how an organization training student activists should be run.

We also feel the need to note that much of this exploitation and labor fell on the backs of black and brown women and femme identifying folks under David. There were obvious power dynamics at play, and he has repeatedly targeted women who felt powerless to refuse certain tasks and used misogynistic language to belittle them. Practices like this are the things we fight against in corporate America and definitely have no place here in the movement.

We are no longer able or willing to entertain any more intervention methods. We are tired of the “ends justify the means” culture and the idea that we must struggle with harmful people and experience trauma to make us stronger as activists and people.

We have tried to bring this issue to many people’s attention in our local community, including leadership in Central Florida Jobs with Justice, FL Immigration Coalition, Council on American-Islamic Relations, Youth and Young Adult Network of the National Farmworker Ministry, Dream Defenders and with members in Organize FL but to no avail. Furthermore, we have confronted him and attempted intentional conversations to remedy specific instances of harm on multiple occasions, repeatedly letting him know that what he is doing is unethical and unacceptable. Despite this, he has continued without taking full responsibility and tangible change. Now the time has come to call out his behavior and enforce strict action.

For almost three years we have been waiting for justice. Student activists, community members, and more have been trying and working with David. We have tried method after method process after process with little to no results. Due to these harmful behaviors and toxicity, the turn over rate at FLSPN has been high. We know however this behavior has also been allowed to continue due to the lack of transparency and oversight on how FLSPN is run or who he is accountable to. In the end, it is students and youth who get burnt out, pushed aside, and replaced in the movement.

We love working with the activist community here in Central Florida and with our respective organizations, but his actions and behavior has affected too many students in the past and has caused tremendous trouble simply operating within spaces he occupies. We know that our activist communities want to do right by student activist’s wellbeing. As such, we hope and trust that you will stand with young people and students and hold him accountable.

Our demands are as followed:

Step back and reevaluate his role as executive director of the organization

A local permanent oversight committee that includes checks and balances on the executive director’s position

Co-directorships that allows for an equal balance of power in leadership

Anyone working under FLSPN will be required to go through a restorative/transformative training every year

Minimum salary for anyone (fellows and staff) in the organization starting at $15 an hour

Tifanny Burks, our restorative justice mediator, needs to be paid in full by FLSPN for the work that she has done already

We are looking forward to a positive response.

Attached is a link with multiple letters from students who have wished to share their grievances. His wrongdoings are not only confined to these letters, but we understand that he can only be judged on the information presented.

 If you would like to share your story please feel free to email us at checkyourpower@gmail.com or share your story (anonymously if you would like) using the link below.

 Check Your Power

Sincerely and on behalf of,

Those personally and directly impacted

[checkyourpower-blog]