chelleshistorydump

[chelleshistorydump]

so uh that marshal brune huh

[chelleshistorydump]

Bust of André Masséna, 1807

By François Masson

[chelleshistorydump]

Marshal Ney fancam video re-upload because the youtube video is blocked in some countries for some reason???

anyways, hope you enjoy!

[chelleshistorydump]

I have a feeling that I forgot something. I guess it wasn’t all that important.

[chelleshistorydump]

Wanted to draw marshal brune getting called a dumbass on my 15 minute break lol

[chelleshistorydump]

Primadonna Soult Animatic

A complete satirical cesspool of history, myth, fandom, and possibly Marshal Soult.

I feel bad to bother by tagging, but just a quick thanks to @josefavomjaaga and @cadmusfly simply for making their Soult posts bc that’s where I got a very good chunk of inspiration & info to make this silly thing

[chelleshistorydump]

June 14th

Today has always been a day that I've spent being sad, for obvious reasons.

My two boys... on the same day, nearly at the same hour.

How cruel Fate can be.

[chelleshistorydump]

Dude you can't be throwing a jealous fit about Désirée and her bf while you were hoeing about through all of Sweden. She only had one lover while you went through a few mistresses - plus whatever was going with Magnus.

I was not “hoeing about through all of Sweden.” That is a grotesque exaggeration. I have lived a long life, a turbulent one, across continents, regimes, and crowns. There have been attachments.. Affairs of circumstance. But never anything that could diminish what I have with my wife. Désirée is not a footnote in my story—she is the spine.

I do not begrudge her for her relationship with Richelieu nor am I throwing a jealous fit. She had a past, as did I. But I will admit I do raise an eyebrow when I read very deeply. One can’t help it. We men are vain creatures.

You make it seem like I wandered through Stockholm like a libertine with a sabre. At the very least I can say I never entertained love letters from men in Paris who use too much cologne and sign their names like they're writing operas. I never said to Désirée that any story with someone else meant “a lot” to me.

As for Magnus—

—He’s a close companion. A friend. A loyal, upstanding Swedish nobleman who is always at my side because… that is where I need him. At all times. Because he is reliable. And available. And… extremely efficient with paperwork. Plus my wife loves him, ask her yourself.

Look, I’m not jealous. I’m attentive. There’s a difference. I simply take note when men start throwing invitations at my wife in public letters. That’s my job as a husband. And as a king.. Wouldn’t you be curious if your beloved wife started reminiscing fondly about Richelieu in the public eye?

Very deeply. Good God.

Anyway, I thank you for your concern regarding my emotional integrity. It has been noted and summarily ignored.

[chelleshistorydump]

berthier in your style lives in my head rent free 🫶🫶🫶🫶

YOU INCLUDED HIS CURLS 🥹

Dawww that is sweet, thank you 😊 !

Tired man deserves to be drawn more honestly, have berthier with curls doodle XD

[chelleshistorydump]

guys stop dying wtf

[chelleshistorydump]

Pauline and Elisa

[chelleshistorydump]

Ok I'm up and running now! The last time I did Eugène de Beauharnais... Now I did Joseph Bonaparte!!!!

What do I do next? There I am at full speed anyway

[chelleshistorydump]

My dearest Désirée, my darling, my radiant northern star, my legally wedded, publicly and spiritually entwined wife—

I hope this message finds you in good health and excellent taste, as always. I write not out of jealousy (though some might, unfairly, accuse me of it), nor out of irrational spite (which is frankly beneath me), but rather out of... gentle concern. And love. And a sense of—national security.

Permit me to speak plainly, for my heart knows no artifice where you are concerned. You reblogged something earlier—yes, yes, I do look at your posts and tags sometimes, it's charming, really—and it was from a person who you may not entirely recall is one of my most persistent lifelong enemies.

Now, I understand it's been some time, and memory can be a fickle thing, but the man you reblogged from—Louis-Nicolas Davout, Marshal of the Empire, bane of my existence, eater of joy and sunshine—is that Davout. The one with the glare, and no friends. That Davout.

To summarize, he is a terrible, horrible, insufferable man with a heart made of iron filings, nothing more than a grudge-bearing automaton powered by malice and regulation. I dislike him greatly. He dislikes me greatly. It's mutual, passionate, and, I fear, eternal.

Which brings me back to your tag. “hello <3”

Darling.

Sweetheart.

Light of my diplomatic balancing act.

He doesn’t deserve the heart. He deserves several hours of mandatory socialization. He would, without hesitation, twist your kind little “hello <3” into political ammunition, Do you not see what havoc such a tender glyph might wreak? I’m asking that you refrain from giving him your affection. I cannot bear to imagine him smirking at your kindness. He will print it out and frame it and use it as leverage against me. Not to mention, if word were to circulate that you, my queen, publicly greeted him with affection—even flippant affection—it would become gossip. Then headlines. Then quotes at my expense in council.

You understand, I trust, how that would make me look. The optics alone—well. I won’t dramatize.

All I ask is that you consider how our reputation—yours and mine, united in matrimony—might be affected. I know it may seem petty, but appearances are not petty when one wears a crown. And Davout would love nothing more than to insinuate a closeness between us, to smirk and say, “Ah, well, your wife doesn’t seem to mind me.”

I do. I mind him tremendously.

Anyway! Love you so much. Just thought you should know.

Warmest regards and eternal devotion from your,

Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte

P.S. You looked lovely yesterday. Unrelated, but I thought it would soften the tone.

My dear, sweet husband, whom I love beyond measure,

Too much text, I ain't reading all that, but I think I got the general idea.

Right now, you're in the library and I'm in the living room. If you want news of my health, just open the door and shout loud enough for me to hear you and if I do not respond, call emergency services because I am probably dying or try to remember what you did wrong because I am probably ignoring you on purpose. I do, however, appreciate the slightly silly romanticism of little papers slipped under the door, so I won't hold it against you.

To begin with, I'd like to point out that there's an endless list of people who are jealous of you, your charisma and your professional success, and it's impossible for me to remember all your haters (although it's true that when I saw that name, it sounded vaguely familiar).

Secondly, it's precisely because I'm thinking of your reputation and mine that I did what I did. I know we're in Sweden, and people here are as warm and friendly as literal prison gates, but that doesn't exempt us from observing the basic rules of hospitality, which are to greet people and kiss them on both cheeks like decent human beings. Think of the disastrous consequences if I hadn't said hello to Monsieur Davout: he could have said “your wife didn't say hello to people, she's bad-mannered”, and in Marseille that's enough to ruin a family's reputation. At least now he won't be able to say I'm rude! You can hate people and talk behind their backs, and I'll even pay my cousins in Lambesc to go and beat the shit out of him if you want, but always say hello.

Toodeloo,

Your wife.

PS: I looked lovely yesterday??? What exactly does that mean, that I wasn't lovely on every other day of the year or today? Why yesterday in particular, what does that mean? AAAAH. Now I'm mad at you.

PPS: I know you're going out this afternoon, please bring some bread. But I mean REAL bread, bread made with real flour and baked in a real stone oven, not the disgusting white bread the Swedes eat, bread with which our cooks can prepare a proper bruschetta.

[chelleshistorydump]

Happy death-day to these two - might write something for the occasion.

[chelleshistorydump]

Yop it's Pérignon Bday 🎁🎂 (31 may)

The unknown in the battalion... We're celebrating his birthday anyway

[chelleshistorydump]

Both of their death-days are upcoming, but I find it interesting that both Berthier and Davout passed away on June 1.

[chelleshistorydump]

Berthier 🤝 Jourdan

Managing a Bonaparte and marshals who refuse to listen to orders