chemicalx13-blog

[chemicalx13-blog]

https://www.reddit.com/r/woahdude/comments/ag2xad/a_different_take_of_van_goghs_starry_night/?st=JQXKMVUT&sh=fce5d316

[chemicalx13-blog]

Music is just wiggling air

[chemicalx13-blog]

Dive

Musings

From the depths of your sea,

Your waves come crashing down upon me.

Caught in your riptide,

I’m swimming with beautiful coral reefs.

A magical awakening, amidst the most powerful feeling of all, love.

Your love is like the ocean,

Now watch me dive deeper than any other before.

[chemicalx13-blog]

[chemicalx13-blog]

Wake up

[chemicalx13-blog]

You felt right

My heart is beating out of my chest,

You make me feel like I could forget

The lies and pain of lovers before.

You make me see there is much more.

You make me feel like nothing, before.

What is this?

How is this possible?

Am a dreaming, are you real?

My heart is in my throat.

[chemicalx13-blog]

The Caretaker. 

[chemicalx13-blog]

Recollection

Burning like a light within, I think of how things used to be. I recollect on how dark things seemed, and I could only find (your) light. You, anyone but me. Clinging to the hopes I could still be. Be something, someone more than an addict, an abuser of others or things, or an abuse victim myself , a fighter for all things, an insomniac crazed freak... many more things. I have never known the fire of my own light, burning bright - keeping me alive. Until now. I joke about survival for almost 29 years, but it’s no joke. It’s real. And now, I will tilt and shift the perspectives, I will reprogram my brain. I sit and think of how I needed all of you, my dark, consuming twisted past in order to obtain my bright and elevated present being. Be damned with what the future holds, because you are never too young to die. I’m more alive than I have ever been, even if the darkness threatens me. I will not allow it to swallow my light, nor will I allow you to. I sit here, I see the sun burning my eyes, and I think of you, my past. And how you broke me. And how I saved myself, becoming a Phoenix rising from the ashes of my youth. So now I say thank you, I wish you well and goodbye. That box is burnt, that door is closed, those bridges have high waters under them. I will break the cycles, and I will burn ever so brightly, flying too close to the sun. I will play with fire and not be afraid to get burnt, because there is nothing left you can take from me or do to me, past. Nothing. The up side of down is being too high to come down.

[chemicalx13-blog]

[chemicalx13-blog]

Shout out to my homies still fucking fighting to survive - broken is not bad. You’re beautiful. Your puzzle pieces shine. Let them. Find tour light, fuck the haters. Y’all do need ‘em. Just remember, good or bad, you made someone think twice about you.

It’s sucks because I know if someone would give me the time, I could show them real love, and make them feel special. I wouldn’t stop doing the little things that made you fall for me. Sure I’m not perfect, but I’ve been hurt enough and let down enough to know exactly how to love someone properly. I would always be here for them, I’d pick them up at 3 am if they needed me to. But I don’t even know if it’s worth putting myself out there, putting all this I have to offer on the line. Because the second I open up , or they are exposed of my flaws, they turn right the hell around and leave.

[chemicalx13-blog]

“If you only knew what the answers are worth, I’ve been searching every corner of the Earth”

[chemicalx13-blog]

Cuddle buddy wanted

[chemicalx13-blog]

Gay seeking Other Gay for Longterm Cuddles and Handholding.

gay ask game for gays only

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

2. whats your “type”

3. do you want kids?

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

8. opinion on nap dates?

9. opinion on brown eyes?

10. dog gay or cat gay?

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

16. who is an ex you regret?

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

21. favourite gay youtuber

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

23. have you ever been in love?

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

26. favourite lgb musician/band

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have 

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

[chemicalx13-blog]

Let go

You want to chat

I could really care less

How do i do that for you now

When you couldn’t for me then?

I need to invest in myself

So i postponed.

I dread that phone call

Simplyto hear your voice

Magically try to undo all the patience I’ve gained.

While i puff my j & levitate

I can feel you sucking out my essence

Bleeding me dry for your cause

A middleman for your cause

A simple task of letting you go

Has become like watching concrete dry

Every inch closer I get to closing the door,

The stronger your grip becomes.

How do i do this? You will not let me

[chemicalx13-blog]

Blue. Bored. Broken.

Gutted. Ghosted. Gone.

A broken promise and an empty heart.

Born again, with full recollection.

J.S.W//

[chemicalx13-blog]

I’m still woozy,

Head on a swivel.

You painted a puzzle

I thought I had the pieces?

Truth is I can’t cook up

A relief to your boredom.

Even if you are all I see,

It’s better we are both free.

Still woozy, head swaying.

You had me goin’ round after round.

Now it takes a jackhammer to get inside me.

Now I’ll write protest letters

And burn them away.

I’ll close the doors, open my boxes

And let it burn.

I will resurrect myself,

Save myself, guided by support

found under weird rocks and strange places.

It’s probably better this way.

Thank you for breaking my heart.

[chemicalx13-blog]

Don’t promise me safety from the storms , and then drop me into the ocean.