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cherri-limeade · 2 years ago

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Go Look Another Way

Hozier/Fem!Reader with fluff and smutty elements + some angst also hozier is a werewolf but reader doesn't know hehehe. No y/n It's too much work and it's in 1st person. It's divided into 4 chapters but I wrote it all at once. Enjoy! :P

Chapter 1

Getting ready for a date with Andrew this late in the day was odd. Sure, its only 5 o’clock but he never liked going out at night. I guess my idea of stargazing tonight was too good to pass up. We missed the full moon a few weeks ago but tonight is a new moon, meaning the stars will be extra bright and beautiful. I try to pick out a cute outfit even though I know it’ll be too dark to even see, but it’s the thought that counts.

Shortly after finishing my makeup and packing my purse, I hear a light knock at the door and I answer it to see my boyfriend, Andrew, so tall he’s almost the height of the door.

“Evening, love.” He plants a kiss on my cheek as I welcome him in. He reveals from behind his back a small sprig of forget-me-nots. “Saw these down the road thought they were nice so I brought you some.” he smiled with his announcement o his gift.

“Oh my gosh, Andy! Thank you, these are beautiful.” You’d think for how big his hands are he might’ve crushed the stem even the slightest bit, but they barely even look picked. As if the flowers jumped themselves into his hand, excited to just be held by him. “Give me one second, I’m gonna put these in a book and press them.” I gave his hand a squeeze and ran down the hall to my guest room/study to put the flowers under the heaviest book I have. “Alright, are you ready?” I said as I came back out of the room and took his arm in mine as we walked out the door.

“Alright,” Andrew sat in the drivers seat and turned toward me, “I was thinking we’ll stop by the store for food and wine, then set out our blanket at the creek?” He asked me to make sure I was good with his plan.

“Sounds perfect.” Anything he says sounds perfect. “Should I go grab a basket for our food?”

“No need.” He smiled and pointed to the backseat where an old picnic basket sat, a beautiful wicker basket with brown leather straps engraved with a delicate floral design.

“Wow, where did you find this?” I almost yelled. He just chuckled.

“It’s my mom’s, I found it the other day in the attic and figured I’d finally take you up on that stargazing idea.”

—

At the store, I picked out some crackers, honey goat gouda, and italian dry salame. Andrew’s picks were a delicious lavender wine and some grapes for the cheese. It was blue hour by the time we got to the creekside spot. Far enough away from the town that light pollution wouldn’t interfere too bad with the stars. Venus soon showed up, burning brighter than normal. She was followed by Jupiter, then Mars, then Saturn, and very soon the sky was littered with stars.

It was nearly pitch black outside, but looking over, I could see the shine of my lovers' eyes. I turned on my side, gazing at Andrew’s side profile. He must’ve sensed my staring, because he looked over at me, green eyes boring holes in my heart.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked, sheepishly. We’ve been dating for a few months, but I still like to ask every time. Makes everything feel new.

“I wouldn’t want anything else, love.” He wraps his arm around my back, his hand cradling the back of my neck as our lips touch. He kisses so sweetly, and softly, and with so much passion that makes every kiss feel like our first. I bring my hands up to cradle each side of his cheeks, feeling the soft stubble move under my touch with every kiss he deepens.

—

Chapter 2

The rain outside the window provided such nice ambience. I sat in my living room with Andrew. I’m sitting on a green loveseat, packed in with pillows and blankets, and Andrew in a chair by the light of the window. We both sat with comfortable silence, broken up by the occasional hum of Andrew, who was writing. I hear him shift in his seat and look up at me.

“Yes?” I half look up, finding a spot in my book to stop. He gives me a comforting smile, though I suspect more for him than for me.

“Ah, nothing. I’m just stuck.” He reassures. “Just looking at you for inspiration.” I sense somethings off but I just let out a soft chuckle.

“Do you want some tea?” I get up from my oh so comfortable spot. “I’ve got a new blend from that local tea shop, very relaxing.”

“No, I think I’m fine.” He checks his watch and looks out the window. “I should get going soon, hate to drive in the dark.” I frown at his declaration. I walk towards him and put my hands on his shoulders, pressing against his chest. We both let out a comforted sigh.

“You sure you don’t want to stay over? It’s no trouble.” I look up at him, now wrapping my arms around his neck (to the best of my ability.) His hands wrap around my waist and he sways back and forth.

“I wish I could, darling.” His hand takes mine and he presses a kiss to it. “I’ve got to meet up with Alex early tomorrow at my place.” He just seems… off somehow.

“Yeah I know, every month.” I sigh and walk to the couch to fold the blanket I was using. Andrew comes up behind me and settles his chin in the crook of my neck. “Wait, I’ve got an idea,” I turn around and take his hands. “Why don’t I come with you? I’ll just sleep through your time with Alex if its so early.” He looked taken aback by my sudden enthusiasm.

“Ehm,” He looked away, “maybe not tonight, love.” He seemed nervous at the thought, I’ve spent the night before, so why would he be nervous right now?

“Oh uh, alright.” I said with a hint of disappointment. He seemed saddened but somehow relieved. “Here,” I broke the short silence, “let me make you some tea for the road.” He gladly accepted and sat down at the kitchen counter.

—

Chapter 3

“Hey, love!” Andrew answered my phone call with a welcome surprise.

“Hello, darling. So random question that has nothing to do with anything at all,” I led to my question, “what are you doing tonight?” I could hear him chuckle a little bit at the silly nature of how I asked.

“Well, it’s the month so probably going to bed early to meet up with Alex in the morning.” He explained.

“Well thats a shame, because tonight, my love,” I sang, “is Friday the 13th!” I suspect he might’ve had to hold the phone away from his ear with the excitement of how I announced the date.

“I suppose it is.” Andrew laughed.

“So, I was thinking a movie night tonight? We could still go to bed early if you need but I could come over and we can watch a scary movie!” There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

“Ehm, sure.” He sounded hesitant. “Eh, just one condition, you leave before dark? I hate the idea of you driving in the dark, especially on this date.” He explained. “You don’t know the weirdo’s out there, you know?” He seemed to over explain but I had no complaints, it’s a movie night tonight!

“Alright! But if you have a condition I have one too.” I bargained. “I pick the movie.” He laughed softly.

“Alright, love. See you tonight.” And the phone call ended

—

I arrive at Andrews’ place at around 4 pm. Before I can even knock, Andrews’ door swings open to reveal him wearing shitty vampire fangs and making spooky sounds. I look at him for a moment, trying to keep a face of judgement, but ultimately failing and laughing at his stupid joke. We both laugh and he welcomes me in with a kiss.

“Okay! Before I put the movie in, I need you to guess.” I hide the dvd behind my back so he cant sneak a peek.

“Hmm, do I get a hint?” He asks for me to narrow it down.

“Your hint is 80s’ horror.” His eyes light up with excitement and he smiled wide.

“Ehm… Lost Boys!” I shake my head no. “Evil Dead? The Thing. Christine! The Shining?” I just kept shaking my head. “Jesus, woman, what is it?” He asked defeatedly.

“Get prepared. For!” I dramatically announced the movie. “An American Werewolf In London!” He seemed upset he couldn’t guess it.

“Not my favorite movie ever, but I suppose I’ll give it another chance.” He smiled nervously and leaned back on the couch. I put the DVD in the player and started the movie, cuddling into Andrew.

During the movie, he kept his arms around me but couldn’t stop fidgeting with his hands like he does when he’s nervous. I looked up at him with concern but he didnt seem to notice, he was staring at the window.

“Are you alright?” I asked and paused the movie. He seemed to snap back and looked at me with confusion.

“Eh, yeah- yeah. I’m alright.” His words, usually said with purpose, trailed off. “It’s almost sunset.” He said, but not to me. He looked back at the window. I readjusted to face him, taking his arm off of my shoulder. He didn’t notice. He just kept fidgeting and staring out the window.

“Hey, Andrew.” I lightly cupped his cheek to try to get his attention. “Do you need me to leave?” I tried looking in his eyes but he just kept staring out the window.

“Why would you leave?” His words were soft, barely audible. Was he drunk? Even drunk I’d never seen him like this.

“You told me to leave before dark, remember?” I kept trying to look at his eyes. He snapped back.

“Dark! Yes.” How sudden he came back startled me. “Yes, you need to leave. I’m sorry we couldn’t finish the movie.” Why was he hurrying? Was he scared?

“Andy! Andrew, what’s going on are you ok?” I attempted to ask but he was almost forcing me out of the door.

“I’m sorry you just really need to go, I need you to be safe.” He was looking around erratically. “It’s a dangerous day.”

“Andrew!” I near shouted at him, and he stilled. My hands grabbed his face. “I’m worried for you, do I need to call someone? The ambulance? Just- slow down. Tell me what’s going on.” His breathing was heavy, his arms hanging by his side. His eyes were locked on to mine, he looked scared, sorry, tired. His eyes became droopy and his whole body fell, nearly crushing me with his weight. I tried to lay him down on the floor and put a pillow under his head. His phone on the side table started ringing, it was Alex.

“Alex! Thank God come over here right now! Andrew’s fainted and I don’t know what’s going on!” I tried to slow down but tears were filling my eyes.

“What? You’re still there? I told him having you over tonight was a bad idea.”

“Alex what do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it, just go home. I’m on my way now.” I heard him mumble under his breath “he was supposed to tell me when she left 20 minutes ago.”

“Alex? I’m not leaving my boyfriend like this-” dial tone. “Alex? Godamnit he hung up” I heard Andrew groan from the floor and rushed to him.

“Andrew? Hey it’s ok I’m here.” i pet his hair and pressed my forehead to his. “I’m here, it’s ok.” His breathing was heavy and hot on my neck, his whole body sweating. He made little groans with each exhale, almost growling.

“You’re, so, nice.” His voice was lower than I’ve ever heard. He hummed in that low growl as I played with his hair. He sat up, and I sat back on my knees, giving him space. He looked at me with what I could only describe as hungry eyes, but beyond that was- fear? “Hm- You, need- ugh- to, leave.” His voice sounded two-toned, monstrous. His head hung low but he held it up just enough to look up at me through his messed hair.

“I’m not leaving you, Andrew. I love you too much to let you suffer alone.” His growls were sometimes replaced by a whimper, what seemed like an attempt to fight whatever was going on.

“Please- ugh- please just, ha- go. You’re, m-making, it- ugh- worse.” I could barely understand him.

“What’s getting worse, Andrew?” In what felt like a second he was pressing me against the couch, still sitting on the floor. He buried his head in my neck. I didn’t know what to do, run? Push him off? Comfort him? I just stayed there, paralyzed. He moved his head slightly, lipping at my neck. “...Andrew?” He just hummed- or- growled- in response.

“Say it again.” He said softly, speaking into my neck.

“What? Andrew-” He groaned.

“Yeah.” He breathed. “Again.” I hesitated.

“A-Andrew.” His breathing got heavier. His lips roughly kissed my jaw, neck, collarbone. He was rarely this rough, it was- nice.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” He spoke into my jaw. He was kissing harder now, almost biting. I repeated his name and every time it was followed by a groan. “I need you, love.” As his mouth moved on my skin I felt something sharp digging into me where his mouth had been. There it is again. And again. He’s… biting me. And biting harder. His teeth feel like they’re sinking into my skin.

“Andrew, ow, stop biting so hard!” I pushed him away by the chest. He was still looking at me with those eyes. Hungry but scared.

“I-m, sor-ry.” His speech was broken.

“Sorry for wh-” I could’ve sworn his canines were bigger. “Andrew?” He buried his face in his hands. His hands. Did he have- claws? Finally, Alex burst through the door.

“Why are you still here?!” He shouted at me.

“No- m-my, fault.” Andrew was still struggling to speak. He was on all fours now, sitting back on his knees but hunched over. His back looked like it was rippling.

“Goddamnit, Andrew! It’s fine- It’s fine.” Alex was stopping himself from yelling at his friend. “Alright, You’re gonna have to help me now, he’s too far along for me to do this myself.”

“Alex, what do you mean far along?” I still sat where Andrew had pinned me.

“I’ll explain after you help me! If you care about Andrew at all you’ll help me with this, alright?” I nodded and stood up. Alex ordered me to help him carry Andrew down into his basement. He never let me go in there because he said it was too messy and disorganised. It was most definetly not. The whole basement was completely empty save for chains mounted into the stone wall. Andrew’s growling became louder, more grotesque. As we carried him towards the chains I could hear and feel his body popping and contorting.

“Love, lo-ve.” Andrew was calling me. I could tell he was in pain with his broken growls and whimpers. “Plea-se, love.”

“It’s ok Andy,” Alex responded before I could, “it’ll be over soon. Just like every month.”

“Every month?” I put the pieces together. “Every, damn, month.” I chained Andrews wrist how Alex showed me and I stepped back. I could see Andrews face now, his face had become dark gray, furry. His eyes were no longer green but a piercing yellow and his teeth. Good God his teeth. His canines were even bigger now, and it looked as if the bottom part of his skull pushed forward.

“Alex? Whats happening to him?” Alex looked with sadness as i watched Andrew struggle against the chains, gnashing his teeth.

“God this is gonna sound insane.” Alex sighed. “It runs in his family.”

“This?” I pointed to my disfigured lover. “What do you mean?”

“Look I don’t fully know how it started, okay? He started doing this in high school. He said he was out walking to a bus stop after a gig and some fucked up wolf bit him and ever since then, he transforms every full moon.” Alex explained to me.

“So my boyfriend is a werewolf is basically what you’re telling me?” I know it was right infront of me, Andrew, my love, transforming into this beast but I couldn’t help but get angry at Alex’s explanation.

“Let’s just go upstairs, get some rest, he’ll be back in the morning.” Alex ushered me upstairs as tears welled in my eyes. It was already 8pm but I was so exhausted and I needed to sleep. I layed on the couch and Alex brought me a blanket.

“Thank you for taking care of him. I can't imagine this ever gets easier.” I spoke to him but didn’t look Alex in the eye.

“Not particularly, but you learn how to cope. And I know it’s whats best for him. The real challenge is when we’re on tour.” He half-jokes. I just sniffle in response. “Do you want me to stay out here with you?” I nodded. I don’t know what I need right now but it’s definitely not being alone. Alex sets himself up a bed on the floor and keeps the lamp on, per my request.

—

Chapter 4

I woke up to the sun in my eyes and the smell of coffee. Still feeling like shit, I put the blanket over my head and bring my knees to my chest. I hear a mug get placed down on the side table by my head and the couch sink in by my feet. A familiar hand touches my shoulder lightly but retreats when I stir. I sit up and lean against the arm of the couch, putting distance between me and Andrew.

“I-” He starts. “You weren’t supposed to find out like that.” He didn’t look me in the eyes.

“Was I supposed to find out?” He knew it was coming. “How long were you gonna wait? Until we moved in together? Until our honey moon?” He just sighed.

“I didn’t know how to tell you.” I could hear the shake in his voice. “It’s not like I could just say ‘hey by the way, every full moon i turn into a monster and could kill you.’” I have to admit he makes a fair point, but so do I. I didn’t respond. “If you want to leave, you can. You’ll be safer that way anyway.” He sighed. He still hasn’t looked at me.

“Look at me.” He hesitated, but met my eyes. I could see the same fear I saw just behind his eyes last night. “You don’t want me to leave, do you?”

“Of course not. I love you, but, if you dont love me anymore, I understand.” I put my hand to his cheek, the same one hold so often.

“I still love you, Andrew. Last night I saw you become a literal monster, but for some reason, I can’t stop loving you. If you need me, I will stay.” He kissed me with a sadness and passion I’ve never felt from him before. His hand came up to hold the bottom of my jaw and I winced, I hadn’t noticed until now how hard he actually bit me last night. Not hard enough to draw blood but still enough to smart when it’s touched. He stopped and looked at the marks on the right side of my neck and shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” The fear was back, “I lost control last night.” He sort of chuckled. “I guess you being here didn’t help. I’ve never felt that uh… strongly, in that state.” I grabbed his chin and made him look at me.

“I think I’ll be fine. Plus,” I leaned into his ear to whisper, “It felt good.”

#hozier fic #andrew hozier byrne #anything but

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