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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment on my pinned post to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 15: Remedies Of Honey

My brain was scattered. No thought was coherent enough to put into words as I laid deathly still in bed, technically, my own bed.

Ironically enough, it didn’t feel like my room. Even though Laura and Madi had helped me move in my things to the simple bedroom, it didn’t feel like it was mine. It felt like a hotel. Matt’s room was the scene that came in my mind as I thought of ‘my’ room. 

Matt. 

His name echoed in the walls of my head with utter confusion. He wasn’t a liar. The only time he had ever lied was to protect me. I watched him time and time again be the sweetest person to everyone around him, always supporting those he cared about. 

I thought I was one of those people. Now, I wasn’t so sure. 

With my dad, it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t surprising either. He had never shown me that he cared. He had never tried to care. 

Matt was different. 

Matt clouded the air around me with a sickening sweetness that I had become accustomed to. The subtle lingering touches that he littered on my body constantly felt like a breath of relief. So natural and easy, yet something I had never even dreamed of having in my life. 

Love scared me. I didn’t know anything about it. With Matt, I didn’t used to be scared, but with every rustle of the branches outside my window, time seemed to take its toll as my thoughts seeped in with unanswerable questions. 

Why would he not tell me?

What else was he not telling me? 

My phone screen had replayed the same video a multitude of times I zoned out. A message popping down from the top of my screen brought my attention back to reality. 

[From Matt: Hey, everything okay? Nick told me you’ve sent him like 30 TikToks, why aren’t you asleep?]

My fingers stay frozen in place as I watch the notification disappear. Was this all just out of pity? Was this his escape? 

Did he ever even want me? 

[From Matt: I’m coming over to pick you up. Meet me outside in five?] 

I huff at the message, pulling open the chat. My fingers hesitate over the electronic keyboard. 

[To Matt: Why?] 

[From Matt: Please. Nick and Madi were texting and he told me what happened. It’s not what you think.] 

[To Matt: Okay] 

I reluctantly pull the covers off of my body, stepping out to the cool air in the simple t-shirt and sweats. Both Matt’s. 

Had I really let him consume every inch of me already? 

I flatten the material of the wrinkled shirt while stepping out of the room. Quietly, I make my way down the stairs. I patter towards the front door, grasping my keychain tightly to prevent the metal jingling. 

I pull the door open ajar, stopping at the squeal of the wind rushing through the void. My eyes peer through the crack, Matt’s flushed cheeks puffing with heaving breaths of air. 

I squeeze through the door, shutting and locking it behind me as I listen to Matt’s breathless huffs. As I turn around, he reaches out a hand. My hands stay trained at my sides as I glance down at the open palm. 

“Please,” he says with a pleading tone. “---I can explain. Please, just…just trust me.” he finishes. 

Nodding slowly, I put my hand in his. His fingers clasp around almost instantaneously in a secure, gentle manner. “Where are we going?” I ask. 

He shakes his head, pulling me behind his stride between the two houses and into his backyard. “Just…trust me, okay?” he says. 

Squeezing my hand in his, our pace quickens down the dirt path. “Okay.” I say quietly. 

The light posts fade into the distance from the street, leaving only moonlight. Step after step, the lake comes into view. The shining reflection of the night sky makes my eyes wander over the water. 

Matt reaches over to the tree, grabbing the picnic blanket that had been slung between the oak branches. He drops my hand, flicking out the large square of fabric. The blanket lands, covering the section of grass with the blue checkered pattern of material. 

He sits down on the blanket, pulling his knees up to his chest and crossing his arms over his knees. He looks up at me, the silver moon dancing in his irises. I melt under his gaze. My knees buckle as I land softly next to him. I mimic his position. 

My eyes glance back towards the water, my head urging me to lean on to his shoulder. The tired ambiance of my brain lets my subconscious fall to action. I let my neck relax, my temple resting lightly on his shoulder. 

A sigh of relief escapes my lips as I feel one of his hands wrap around, cradling my head. How could I not trust him? 

The secret weighing down on me had felt so heavy alone in my bed, but it didn’t anymore. Not here with him. The doubts seeped through the cracks of my mind like water. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask. 

His shoulder rises and falls with a hefty breath beneath my head. “I was going to. I really was, I just—I didn’t know how. I tried, I really did, I swear. But…” he trails off. I feel the comforting weight of his head fall gently on top of mine. 

“But?” I urge. 

“I didn’t know how and I could never find the right time. I was first gonna tell you after my hockey game. The one, well, the one where, you know…” he airy words seep through the breeze. 

“Then,” he rubs the side of my head with his hand briefly. “--everything just kept going wrong. It hurt to see you crying every night, I couldn’t put more on your plate.” he says. 

My heart softens at his words. He was doing it for me, not to me. His intentions were as pure as his soul. My muscles fall more relaxed against him with the comforting aura of his affirmation. 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve–” I bring my head off his shoulder. His eyes gleam into mine with a somber gaze. I reach out my hand, caressing the underside of his cheek. I look between both of his eyes with a soft smile displayed on my face, watching the wrinkles relax between his eyebrows. 

“It’s okay, Matt. I trust you. I understand.” The truth leaves my lips as I watch his teeth peek out from his curled lips. As we look into each other’s eyes, I find myself unable to take my eyes off of his. 

I see his eyes travel down to my lips, darting quickly back up to my eyes. I lean into him, letting my eyes close. Anticipation floods my system as I feel his breath fan across my lips. 

His hand comes up, wrapping around the back of my neck and gently pulling me towards him. Our lips meet with a soft kiss, the warmth of his mouth seeping onto mine. I feel the tip of his nose graze my cheek as he pours passion from his lips with each movement. 

I put my hand onto his shoulder. My head tilts upward, chasing his lips with a soft and slow energy. He matches my rhythm, my stomach fluttering from the sensual lingering movements. My lungs begin to scream for air. I find myself unable to pull away, chasing the delicate beckoning of his lips calling my own. 

A soft smack echoes through the withering wind. He leans his head down, his forehead resting against mine. Our breaths combine with breathless gasps of air. The lack of air makes my mind even hazier, intensifying the feeling from the intoxicating passion from his lips. 

“I…I bought you a ticket to come with us to LA for spring–” he says. I let out a soft laugh, interrupting him. 

“I know, Madi told me. You’re insane. I can’t believe you bought me a plane ticket.” I exclaim softly. His eyes look into mine through the short distance. I notice every detail that the moonlight highlights. The pale color of his blue eyes is like ice, but looking at the hue of color makes me feel nothing but warm. 

He smiles at me. My cheeks ache from the extraneous use of the muscle, my lips still pulsating from the kiss. “I don’t wanna pressure you, I…I just want you to see what life could be like out there…with me.” he says.

He doesn’t want to leave me. He wants to leave with me. 

I bite down on the soft flesh of the inside of my cheek, fighting back an award winning grin. My stomach swirls with excitement and a feeling of extreme care towards the soft man sitting in front of me. 

“I’d love to.” I express. I see his lips curve downward, an upside down smile forming with resistance. He shakes his head with a light chuckle, the movement moving my own head in the slightest against his. 

He looks back up at me through his eyelashes, a sight I immediately try to engrave in my memory. “I’d really love to.” I emphasize. He sucks his lips between his teeth before scrunching his nose with a smile. 

“There’s no pressure though, okay? Even if you don’t come–” his smile falters at the thought. “--I’m still coming back to visit all the time. I want you to do whatever makes you happy, no matter what–I’ll visit you.” he finishes. 

What makes me happy? 

He makes me happy, Madi makes me happy, his family makes me happy, but what else? 

“Hey,” he squeezes on my shoulder. I snapped my eyes back at him, realizing I had spaced out with the taunting thoughts. “--what are you pouting about?” he asks. 

“I…” my mind wanders back and forth. He brings his hand up, caressing my hair behind my ear and bringing my attention back to his eyes. “I don’t know what I want to do, Matt. I’ve always been so worried about everything else…I just, I don’t know.” I sigh. 

“I don’t even know my favorite things.” I mutter out with disappointment. The sinking weight clambers down on my chest as I feel the warmth of his forehead against mine dissipate. I lean back from him, my eyes trained on the blue checkered material between my hands resting on the blanket. 

His fingers loop beneath my chin, pulling my head upwards. He looks in my eyes with a sparkle of moonlight reflecting in his pupils as they dilate. “You do.” he says. I shake my head reluctantly with a slight frown. 

I go to object, my lips parting. “You do.” he repeats. I look up at him as my head tilts to the side, leaning with a huff. “Come on…you do, I know you do.” I give him a small tug of my lips, shrugging my shoulders. 

He shakes his head, “You know so much. You do, I promise. I mean…you’re so…you. You love root beer, you love chocolate chip pancakes, hot chocolate, and the shortbread chocolate cookies–damn, you really do love chocolate.” he laughs. 

He caresses his hand on the bottom of my jaw, biting his lower lip with a smile. “You also love coloring, old disney movies, club penguin, stuffed animals, and—how could I forget, McDonalds ice cream.” he says. 

A smile pulls on my lips as I prod my tongue in the side of my mouth. Each piece of information spills into my brain as I curate the list in my imagination. He was right, but more than that—he was sweet. 

Matt had always been very sweet. Honey and sugar envied him. Not even the sweetest candy could compare to the sickening sugar that coated his lips from his words. His soul oozed an aura of comforting sap, something that should make a person sick from indulging too much, but I couldn’t get enough of it. 

To swim in his honey pool felt like a magical remedy healing every wound, even the scars so deep in my soul that I had forgotten they were there. I wasn't scared of getting hurt. The pond of his heart puddled in front my eyes, cushioning every cautious step into places my mind labeled as danger.

“I know you. I know you enough to know that you know yourself. Give yourself some credit.” he says. I soothe the fabric of the blanket under my fingers, the thin material allowing me to feel the pillowy grass beneath it. 

“You seem to know a lot. I didn’t know you paid that much attention…I really appreciate it.” I express in a soft whisper. 

“I could go on for hours.” he teases. 

I squinted my eyes at him with a cock of my eyebrow, challenging him. “Really?” I question. He gives me a curt nod. 

“Mhm. You say your favorite animal is a penguin, but it’s really a moose. You’ve always wanted a pet. Hmm…what else? Oh–you love gardening, you want your own greenhouse one day….” he trails off as I look at him with nothing but adoration. 

His parted lips fall closed as his smile beams at me. “It’s hard to think when you’re looking at me like that.” he points out. I let out a soft laugh, shoving my shoulder into his playfully. 

Balancing my weight on my palms, I lean forward, gently pressing my lips on his cheek. The skin flourishes with a red hue under the pale moon, the tint traveling up to his ears. 

“You missed one thing.” I point out. He looks over at me swiftly. I pull up my hand, shifting the messy brown locks out of his face. My hand falls to his shoulder as he looks at me curiously. 

“You are definitely on my list of favorites,” his smile grows with his teeth peeking out from his lips. 

“Really?” he says. His eyes squint at me. I nod my head affirmatively. 

“Mhm,” I lean, letting my head rest back onto his shoulder. 

As I let my body relax into his body warmth, my mind eases completely into the moment. I feel his head resting on top of mine, the grass tickling my fingers from poking through the blanket, and the night breeze blowing with a soft wind. 

“You are my favorite.” he whispers from above me. I hum, nuzzling my head further into his shoulder as the smile becomes bigger onto my face. The smile that had never even left. 

_

As the night grew colder, Matt’s worry for me getting sick did too. I hadn’t wanted the moment to end, and it still hadn’t. Our bodies laid tangled together under his pillowy comforter, our body heat radiating with a perfect warmth. 

My face presses against the bare skin of his chest, his tattooed arm thrown behind me and pulling me closer to him. He hums, hugging me tighter as I let out a soft giggle. 

“What are you doing?” I ask. His playful eyes glance down at me with a soft smile. 

“--’m just want you closer.” he mumbles. I pull myself up by placing a hand on his shoulder. I lay my head on the pillow, my face inches from his. I feel his arm underneath the pillow curl upward, his hand tangling in my hair. 

“Like this?” I ask. He hums, leaning forward and nudging his nose on mine. The sigh escapes his lips, the warm air brushing along my cheeks. My eyes wander down to his lips, his tongue darting across deliciously, the moonlight seeping in reflecting on the now wet surface. 

I feel myself leaning forward before I can stop myself. The taste of his minty lips hit mine, the cooling sensation of the leftover toothpaste being drowned out by the heat of our lips together. His tongue prods at my lower lip before slipping into my mouth. 

The added aggression of his actions makes my stomach churn with desire, his hand latching tightly into my hair mindlessly with a gentle grip. A soft moan escapes my mouth. His fingers grab securely onto my waist, kneading the flesh with greed. 

“Fuck,” he mutters against my lips. The word barely pauses his desperate movements for a second before he’s hungrily pouring his devotion, kisses being littered along my jaw and down my neck. 

The lower his lips trail, the more my front mindlessly arches further into him. The wet saliva makes my skin form goosebumps with the cool air brushing against the damp spots. 

As Matt’s lips arrive at the hem of his shirt on me, his eyes flicker up to me with a questioning look and a lust filled haze. “Can I take this off?” he asks. I nod, partially sitting up and throwing the shirt to the floor, leaving me in just my underwear.

The cold air barely touches my skin before Matt has his hands wrapped around me. He engulfs me in a hungry embrace, my skin tingling from his lips and tongue traveling on the top of my bare chest. 

A rough shriek escapes my lips as I feel his teeth clamp down lightly on the skin of my breast, a suction from his mouth and the skin making the blood rush to my cheeks as my hands dart to his hair. 

“Matt.” I whisper out breathlessly. 

The single word escaping my lips results in his lips becoming more messy on my skin. His mouth envelopes around the peak of my breast, his teeth lightly grazing the bud of sensitivity. The sensation shoots straight down to my core as my hips move against his thigh mindlessly. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” he lets out, pulling his lips away. “I don’t wanna rush things. I wanted tonight to just be sweet and—fuck, I can’t help it around you. I’m sorry, I–” 

I don’t let him finish. The pulsing between my legs clouds my mind as carnal desires guide my movements. I push him to the bed, straddling over his bare stomach. I lean down, placing my lips back onto his. His hands immediately grab onto my hips, clenching the flesh in his hands. 

Our lips part as I kiss down his neck. He swallows thickly as I kiss the flesh gently, letting my teeth graze the skin. A breathy exhale leaves his mouth as I let my hands wander down to his lower stomach as I scoot back on his lap. I let out a whimper at the bulge prodding between my legs, my hips stuttering over his dick beneath me, begging to feel more. 

I resist the urge as I bring my lips off of his skin, bringing my head upwards as my hands trace his snail trail with the tips of my fingernails. I watch as he sucks in a breath, his eyes screwed shut as his head throws back into the pillow with parted lips. 

I let my finger loop beneath his sweats teasingly. He grabs my wrist with one hand, the other cupping around the back of my neck. Our lips meet messily, his mouth parting with a breathless heaving as I let my touch teasingly linger over the waistline of his pants. 

“Can I–” “Please.” he cuts off, not letting me finish.

The desperation in his voice fills me with confidence as I smirk, pressing my lips back to his chest that rises and falls with heavy breaths. I take my time, swirling in back and forth patterns with my hand on his lower stomach as it clenches and twists beneath me. 

My movements are halted by him latching back onto my wrist. I look up, seeing his glazed eyes looking down at me. “Please, fuck–I need–yes, oh my god.” he breathes out as I cup over his bulge. 

He moves his hips up, grinding into my hand as I palm him through his sweats. I watch as his head snaps back into the pillow, a quiet, broken grunt sounding in the night air. 

I loop my hand in his sweats. His hips lift upward, allowing me to tug down the material. The sight of his imprint through the tight briefs makes my breath hitch in my throat. 

My hand reaches out, palming him once more. The thinner material allows me to feel more of him. It allows him to feel more. I see his hand gripping the sheets with white knuckles, his other hand in his mouth as a muffled moan sounds. 

I loop my hand around the waistband of the briefs, his hips lifting once more. I drag the material tantalizingly slow. I watch as he grows impatient, his hips squirming beneath me. He leans down, pulling it off completely and tossing both his articles of clothing to the side. 

I let my hand reach out to his aching member. My actions are halted by his hand clasping around my wrist. I look up at him, seeing his reddened cheeks and his concerned eyes. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything.” he says. 

I nod with an affirming smile. “I really want to make you feel good.” I whisper out. His eyes widen as I see him gulp. “Is that okay with you?” I ask. 

He nods quickly, his hazy eyes clouding further with lust as he wets his lips with his tongue. “--want that so bad. But–we can stop whenever, okay?” he says. 

I hum in response, letting my lips greedily wander down to his chest. I let my hand clutch more firmly around his hardened cock. A gruntled breath falls from his lips. “Fuck, so good, baby, so fucking good.” he hisses. 

My confidence grows at the praise, letting my hand slowly tease his wet tip covered in precum. His hips rut upward as his hand curls in my hair with desperation. 

Trailing my lips downward, I continue palming him. As I get eye level with his crotch, I let my eyes wander up to him. His eyes are trained on me with his bottom lip locked in the clutch of his teeth, turning white. 

I look down, gathering spit in my mouth. I let my lips part, the salvia dripping onto his tip. I hear the muffled groan from him as I let my tongue taste him. The salty taste meets my mouth as I greedily lick him up and down, wetting every inch of him. 

“Please, I need–please.” he begs. I hum, finally satisfied with the lubricant as I envelope my lips around his tip. He gathers my hair rushedly with his hands, holding it in his grip with his right hand as his left squeezes onto my shoulder. “Oh fuck.” he grunts out. 

I bob my head slowly, taking more of him in with each movement. His hand leaves my shoulder, muffling the sounds as he bites into his clenched fists as I look up at him between my lashes. His jaw quivers as I pick up the pace, his hips chasing my mouth. 

“Faster, please, please, please. I can’t—I need more—oh,” his jaw lifts as his head throws back in blissful pleasure. 

I cover my teeth as I take more and more of him at a faster pace. I keep my tongue pressed along him firmly as his hand shakes in my hair. I reach back, holding his hand in my hair. 

I pop my mouth off of him, a whine escaping his mouth. “Matt, you can hold my hair, baby.” I assure. 

He mindlessly shakes his head from side to side. “--don’t wanna hurt you.” he mumbles. I reach up, caressing his cheek as he leans into my hand. He looks at me with a blissed out expression. 

“You won’t. You never do, Matt. I’ll tap you twice if I need to, okay?” I suggest. 

He nods as I make my way back down. His fingers clasp tighter in my hair, gently pulling at my scalp as my mouth sinks down on him once more. 

I bring my head upward, bobbing his length in my mouth. His tip hits the back of my throat as I gag slightly, taking less of him and keeping the same pace. 

The whimpers and moans muffled by his fists are barely audible. The quiet noises of my lips suctioning against him and his reactions quietly echoing through the room as I keep taking his length repeatedly. 

As his grip becomes tighter, a slight burning sting in my scalp makes me whimper against him. “Fuck, sorry–so sorry, sweetheart. Doing so good, oh my god.” he mutters with a strained voice. 

His grip loosens, his fingers gently massaging the area. The soothing sensation distracts me. I take him further into my mouth, relaxing my mouth as his tip ruts against the back of my throat. His stomach clenches, his thighs raising off the bed as his mouth gapes open. 

“Oh my fucking god, oh fuck–baby, baby–so close,” he rants breathless in a small whisper. His eyes beam down at me as I look up at him. “You–fuck, you don’t have to. Fuck–if you don’t stop I’m gonna cum in your mouth, baby.” he warns. 

I hum against him, keeping my pace. His hand gasps tighter in my hair, a slight sting that I ignore as his hips stutter in an uneven pace. A warm sensation spills down my throat as he rides out his orgasm, a loud whimper muffled by his hand. 

His hips fall lifelessly onto the bed. I pull my lips off of him, coughing as I try to catch my breath. I feel Matt tapping me, looking over to see him pushing his water bottle into my hands. I take it from his hands, silencing my coughs with the cool water. 

I push the bottle back into his hands. “Thank you.” I voice. 

He nods with a soft smile tugging at his lips. He brings the water to his own lips, chugging a couple gulps before reaching over and placing it back on the nightstand. 

He leans down, pulling his briefs back on. He reaches over the bed again, lifting up his shirt that I was wearing with raised eyebrows. I nod, taking the fabric and throwing it back over my head. 

Matt lays back on his side, holding the blanket up for me as I crawl back into his arms. As I wrap my arm around his waist, I frown. “What’s wrong?” He asks. 

I look up at him, holding up my pointer finger before scooting backward. I sit up, pulling the shirt back over my head and letting it fall back onto the floor. 

Matt gives me a questioning look as I crawl back into his arms. I lay my cheek on the pillow next to him, his hand traveling and holding me by the waist.  His arm lays under the pillow beneath my head, curling upward. 

The action sends my face nuzzling into the crook beneath his chin. I sigh as I feel his bare skin on mine. “Are you okay?” I hear him ask in a hushed tone. 

I pull away, nodding and pecking him on the lips. “Mhm, just wanted to feel closer to you,” I mumble with half-closed eyes. His chest rumbles with a light laugh as he tugs me in closer. 

His fingers curl into my hair from behind. “--’m sorry if I hurt you.” he says. The slight sore sensation of my scalp is soothed by his light massaging fingers. 

I sigh at the feeling. “You’re okay, Matt…that feels so good.” I hum out. His fingers continue the motions in my hair as my body relaxes into him. 

“--’m so tired, but I really appreciated everything today.” I mumble out. His motions stutter, bringing my attention forward as I fight sleep. “--I trust you, I shouldn’t have been overthinking so much in the first place. Thank you.” I say. 

He hums against me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “--’m course. I never wanna hurt you. You mean…you mean so much to me.” he confesses. 

My heart swells at the sweet words falling from his lips. I nuzzle further into him, his hands tightening as he lightly grazes his chin on the top of my head. “Now, go to bed, sleepy girl.” he says. 

I hum, letting my limbs fall languid. Our body heat radiating in a cocoon beneath the sheets lured my mind further from conscious thoughts as my eyes fluttered closed. The smile lingers gently, tugging on the edge of my lips. 

As sleep consumes me, the curl of my lips stays, my subconscious keeping thoughts of him rolling through my mind like movie scenes. Dreams don’t even compare to this man—my man. 

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, suggestive, get tissues, angsty af, mentions of parental neglect/abuse, depressing shit

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment on pinned post to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 14: Haunted

I had always despised routine. As I got older, there was little change to my daily life. Go to school, work on homework, and then take care of my dad. 

Until recently. 

It had only been a couple of nights, but I felt myself falling in love with the forming routine. I had moved my stuff into Laura’s house partially, but a lot of my things slowly found their home in Marylou’s house–specifically Matt’s bedroom. 

I didn’t know how to feel. I wasn’t necessarily upset. Everything with my dad had gone untouched. I couldn’t bare to bring my thoughts around to the heavy atrocity with such life being found right in front of me. 

Matt had left, going to film a video with Chris and Nick. His arms weren’t around me while I brushed my teeth for once in the past couple of days. I didn’t even realize how much it was a regular task until it was absent. I miss it. I miss him. 

He had texted me a while ago, telling me that they’d be done after midnight and not to wait up. I let myself curl into his silky bedding, the daze still briefly apparent as I rub my eyes. I reach over, grabbing his water bottle and gulping a couple of sips. My eyes fall to the clock.

1:00 A.M. 

I set the bottle down, laying back in the warm comforter. The sound of steps approaching and quiet voices are apparent. I let my eyes flutter shut, curling my fists under my chin with the blanket. 

The door swings open with a slight squeak, closing quickly. The sound of his footsteps travel to the bathroom door, closing it as I see the light peer from the subtle peep between the floor. 

My mind fades from consciousness back and forth as I fight to stay awake. As I hear the light shut off and the door open, my eyes blink open slightly. 

I see his dark shadow of a figure walk out of my peripheral vision. His footsteps tap on the floor around the bed and to the other side. The patter of his quiet walk silences as I feel the mattress shift with his added weight. 

I wait patiently for his arms to embrace around me. Nothing but silence and a jarring stillness. My heart sinks like an anchor in my chest as I lazily let my muscles relax with disappointment. 

A couple minutes pass by as I try to get myself back to sleep. Nothing. My mind urges humiliation and rejection in tantalizing thoughts. Maybe he just doesn’t wanna wake me up?

I take matters in my own hands, swallowing thickly. “Matt?” I question, my voice sounding hoarse and quiet. 

“Hm?” he hums. The quick response leaves me anxious. I shuffle my weight, turning to face him. 

As I lay on my opposite side, I see his arm slung over his face as he lays flat on his back. I scoot closer, wrapping my arm and leg around him and resting my head on his shoulder. 

Pine and spices. I hum in content at the smell, nuzzling my head more on his chest. His chest shakes from beneath me.

My eyes shoot open with confusion. I see one of his hands clenched deathly tight on top of his ribcage. I listen closely, hearing his shaky and lack of breathing. 

I lift my head up, my hand maneuvering on his chest as I tap him. “Matt? What’s wrong?” I ask. 

A loud sniffle catches me off guard. My heart wrenches at the noise. “Matt?” I repeat. 

The sudden motion doesn’t process. Within less than a second, he has me pulled in tightly in his embrace as whispering cries shake out of his body. My hand rubs at his back as he clenches me to him with a desperation.  

“Hey, what’s going on? It’s okay, Matt. I’m right here.” I console. His head shakes on the pillows above mine as his cries continue to escape his lips. 

I hold him tight, which seems to be appreciated. His cries continue as I keep whispering the condolences. 

After a couple of minutes the crying dies down completely, leaving sniffles filling the void of silence every so often. 

“It’s..god, it’s so stupid–I…ugh.” he cuts himself off with a heavy sigh. I rub his back reassuringly, his hold not losing any capacity as I feel our clothed skin colliding together. 

“It’s okay, take your time.” I suggest softly. 

His chest rises and falls with a vocal huff of air. “It started off fine. We were filming a Q&A for hitting 95 thousand subscribers, but…” he pulled away from me slightly, sliding down in the sheets. His head falls directly in front of my chest, his eyes looking up at me with the pale moonlight reflecting on his face. 

“Can you just–can you hold me?” he asks. His shy tone brings a smile to my face as I nod affirmatively.

I pull him in, his face now cradled in my chest as I lay on my side. “Of course, you’re too cute, oh my god.” I remark. I feel his lips curl against my skin as he nuzzles deeper. I nearly laugh at his embarrassed huff, but my mind traces back to the wet feeling of his tear stained face against his thin T-shirt that covered my body. 

I pull my hand up to his head, gently tracing my nails through his scalp. His body relaxes at the touch. “You were filming a video…” I retrace, letting the words fall with a hintful tone. 

He ever so slightly nods his head against me. “Yeah, we have this big goal. Once we hit 100k, Laura will finally sign us. So, 95k is a really big deal, ya know?” I hum at his question as he sucks in a breath. “Anyhow–I was really excited. We were going through questions and shit, everything was fine, but…” he trails off with a sullen huff. 

“But…?” I repeat. 

I feel his lips falter into a subtle pout. “It wasn’t even a question, but Nick read it. Some girl said she thought it was only Nick and Chris.” he explains. 

My eyes squint with confusion. “Isn’t your channel name the Sturniolo Triplets?” I retorted. Matt hums affirmatively against me. 

“I went on a whole tangent, because, well–they’re dumb for that to be fucking honest,” he spits. “--but, then Chris and Nick joked about how it was the most I’d ever talked in a car video before. It hurt my feelings because...they’re right. I don’t know, I just–I don’t know.” he finishes. 

I continue combing my fingers through his hair, his hot breath seeping through the thin shirt and onto my skin. “Well, they do constantly scream and yell. Not to mention, bring up the most random and concerning shit. You’re hilarious, your channel would not be where it is now if you weren’t a part of it.” I say. 

I feel Matt’s head tilt upward, his chin slightly digging into the tender skin of my breast. However, the feeling fades from my attention as I bring my eyes to him. He looks up at me through his wet eyelashes, his cheeks slightly flushed. He’s breathtaking. 

“You really think so?” he asks. I nod, smiling down at him as I watch his lips curl upward. His face moves back into my chest, his arms squeezing tighter around my waist. “Thank you.” he whispers out. 

I cradle my hands around his head, massing gently in his scalp. “--’m course. Now, get some sleep.” I suggest. He nods, nuzzling himself further and sighing with content. 

A couple minutes pass by and I can feel the slight hum of vibration from each quiet snore leaving his lips between my breasts. I let my hands fall limp, letting my thoughts wander aimlessly as I welcome my subconscious hazily. 

He’s so pretty. 

_

Hailey’s toys were scattered all over the floor. Era’s house was nice, the spring breeze flowed in through the open windows. Although I had just tucked Hailey into bed, the sun was still high in the sky. The days were continuously getting longer and longer. 

As I laid Hailey down for bed, she whined relentlessly. She had been sad, she wanted Matt. 

I wanted Matt too. 

Matt was busy. He had dropped me off before hockey practice. He was going to come pick me up afterward. Then, we were going to visit my dad. 

Dry text messages had been exchanged, a total of three texts. I asked my dad if I could come over today, he said yes, I liked the message. That was it. 

Matt didn’t urge me to visit him, it was completely my decision. I didn’t necessarily want to go, but it felt like I had to. Not going felt like giving up on him, it felt like giving up on the last part of my mom I seemed to really have. The baby blanket couldn’t tell me memories of her, only he could. 

I had juiced every story from Era over the years. I knew every memory she had told me like it was somehow engraved in my own mind as an experience myself. 

My jealousy clouded the memories over the years. I was so envious of Era having so much time with my mother, that I started to grow resentful with each story. I stopped asking, too far in my own pity to grasp onto anything else. 

I regretted it. Especially the one time where Era had attempted to tell me a memory of the pair that I just couldn’t respectfully shut down.

It was after the cigarette incident with my dad. I remembered being so upset at the world for being so unfair. As a result, I took it out on her.

I remembered the way her lips smacked shut as I screamed at her to shut up. I remembered the regret infiltrating my entire system as I mumbled a poor excuse of a ‘sorry.’ I remembered how Era no longer told me stories. Hell–she didn’t even talk to me unless I acknowledged her first. 

The guilt ate me up like an infectious disease. Suddenly, I didn’t think the world was being unfair anymore. Every situation that left me crying in a mess on the floor felt deserved. 

Era and I’s relationship was never the same. Part of me wondered if it was the reason she moved away to Somerville all those years ago. I pushed away the one person who would tell me about my mom. I hurt my own mother’s best friend, the person who had done so much. She was always sticking by my mom’s side and taking care of me simultaneously. 

I sometimes wondered how she had so much love in her heart to take on so many responsibilities. I admired her so much. I loved her so much. Tension stayed thick with guilt, but never hate. 

Kneeling on the floor, I reach out and grab the miscellaneous toys one by one. I swing my arm over, letting the trinkets drop into the toy basket. 

Once the floor is clear, I slide the toy basket into its original nook. Dusting my hands off on my knees, I stand up and grab my phone.

[From Era Evans: You’re good to leave whenever!]

[From Matt: Here, are you ready to leave? If not, I’ll come in, I just don’t wanna knock or ring the doorbell and wake Hailey up by accident.]

I like Era’s text before scrolling into Matt’s chat and closing my phone. I take my bag in my hands before quietly opening and shutting the door behind me. I look up, seeing Matt slouched against his car and giving me a wave. 

“Come on.” he says. He walks over to the passenger side, holding open the door for me.

“Thank you.” I mumble as he smiles down at me and shuts the door. He walks over, taking his seat. I hear the car turn on as he starts to press on the gas. 

“I’m nervous.” I state. Matt gives me a quick sympathetic glance. He reaches out, taking my hand and placing our intertwined hands on the center console of the car. 

“Did you know,” Matt pulls off to the side of the road. He parks the car, letting go of my hand before reaching behind. I smile as I see the yellow ‘M’ printed on the brown paper bag. “McDonalds helps with anxiety? It’s a proven fact.” he says. 

I laughed as he set the bag down on the center console. “You didn’t! Oh my god, Matt! Thank you, this is just what I needed! Thank you, thank you thank you!” I chant, plopping a fry into my mouth. 

“Of course! And,” he reaches back once more. My jaw goes slack as he drops two cups full of ice cream in each cup holder. “--can’t forget about ice cream,” he says. 

A smile spreads so far across my face that my cheek muscles ache. I lean forward, carefully avoiding smushing the food, planting a kiss directly on Matt’s cheek. The loud pucker sounds as I lean back into my seat giddily. I look up, seeing Matt’s ears a burning red at the tip. 

I laugh, shoving a fry against his lips. He opens his mouth, biting the fry into his mouth. “Fuck, that’s hot.” he says with an open mouth as he chews. I hold back a laugh, squinting my eyes at him as he turns towards me. 

“Oh yeah?” I tease. He closes his mouth, gulping loudly as he nods his head. I laugh, nudging my shoulder into his. 

“God, eat your food.” he says between nervous laughs. He picks up the spoon from the ice cream cup, moving it in front of my mouth. The sweetness hits my taste buds as he slides the spoon out of my mouth. His eyes are focused on me as his hand hovers in front of my face. 

An idea pops into my mind, a grin tugging lightly at my lips as I lean towards the spoon. I feel the cold remnants brush along my lips. His eyes go wide as I lean over the center console. “Can you get it for me?” I ask. 

He nods his head hesitantly. I hear the spoon fall back into the cup as his hand moves into my peripheral vision. I reach my hand to the side, clasping his palm against mine and intertwining our fingers. “Don’t you wanna taste?” I taunt. 

He nods slowly before leaning in. I feel his tongue swipe on my lips softly. As he starts to pull away, I let go of his hand and fist his shirt, pulling him back to me. The noise of surprise from him vibrates against my lips as they move against his. 

The heavy smacks of our mouths echo through the car. I pull him impossibly closer by his shirt, passionately sucking in his bottom lip and gently biting down on the soft flesh. 

As I open my eyes, I see his still relaxed shut. I let go of my grasp on his lip and his shirt, letting my back hit the seat. His blissed out expression lingers, his eyes fluttering open with a haze of lust. I pull a couple of fries into my hand. I move the food in front of his mouth as he parts his lips. “Eat your food, god.” I retort, mimicking his statement. 

He holds back a smile, shaking his head with amusement. 

_

My clammy hand clutched onto Matt’s tightly as we stood in front of the familiar door. The porch light wasn’t on, but I could hear the TV from inside. Matt brought his fist up to the door, knocking. 

A couple moments pass as my heart pummels against my chest anxiously. I feel Matt’s hand squeeze mine, looking over to see him giving me a reassuring smile. Breathe. 

I take a deep breath. As I go to exhale, I hear the sound of footsteps. I shakily let go of the breath before the door swings open. My dad is standing in his typical clothes, but somehow looks different. They didn’t seem as dirty as usual.

He opens the door further, waving his hand out to his side. “Come in,” he says. Matt steps in front of me through the door. I follow behind him as I hear the door shut. “Let’s go sit on the couch, yeah?” he suggests. 

I turn, looking at him and nodding. Matt guides me to the couch. He plops down, still grasping onto my hand, as I sit next to him. My dad lets out a loud breath, planting himself down on his typical seat with his legs spread open. He leans his head on his elbow that is propped up on the side of the couch. 

“I, uh, I’m sorry—just, how have things been?” he asks. My dad’s voice comes out rushed as his hand reaches to his mouth. His teeth clamp around his nails as his knee starts to bounce up and down. 

I take a deep breath, praying my pounding heart won’t sound so apparent in my voice. “I’ve been, uh, I’ve been good. How have you been doing?” I ask. It doesn’t come out sounding as if I was about to cry, making my chest heave with a sigh of relief. 

My dad shrugs his shoulders. “Pretty good. Uh…I think Johnny and his boy might be stopping by soon, just a heads up.” he warns. 

Jeffery. The thought of his name makes my teeth clench. The anger is displaced with disappointment as I process his statement fully. He just couldn’t cancel on them, could he? 

“We won’t be long, it’s fine.” I mutter. I feel Matt’s hand grasp my own tighter. Breathe. I let my lungs suck in a large breath, letting it flow out calmly through my nose. 

Who knew anger suppresses anxiety so much? I run my tongue along the bottom of my teeth, feeling the ridges put pressure onto the tense muscle. 

“Are you…are you coming back?” he asks. I snap my gaze towards him, analyzing him. His eyes are tired, but void of any emotion except for a questioning look. His lips are pulled in between his teeth, his hands soothing over the fabric of his blue jeans. 

He’s so…unbothered. I shrug my shoulders with a slight sway of my head. I let my tongue rest, as I feel Matt’s thumb soothing over the back of my hand. “Will things be different?” I ask. 

My dad's eyes shut tightly as he turns his gaze towards the wall. I watch as he buries his forehead in his hands, sighing loudly. “I was getting better, kid. I didn’t mean to–”

His words are cut off by the sound of knocking at the door. The silence intrudes with a heavy weight. Is he really gonna get the door right now? I squint my eyes at him as he avoids my gaze. His hands push up from his thighs as he stands up.

The gesture makes my shoulders sag. This isn’t any different. Not in the slightest. He doesn’t seem to be better or worse–he seems to be completely unaffected. 

I hadn’t weighed that possibility. 

Better, at least I could be happy for him. Worse, I had the knowledge that I helped him in some sort of way. 

Unaffected showed me colors of gray I hadn’t even been aware of. A new found devastation that felt unlike anything else. 

The sinking in my chest echoed with each of his footsteps. He just didn’t care.

I didn’t mean anything to him. At all. 

His eyes weren’t filled with hope when he asked if I would come back. His lousy answer for things being different showed me more than I wanted to know. 

He has excuses. He has empty words. He didn’t have any sort of true remorse, not enough at least. 

As if reading my mind, Matt leaned into my ear. “Do you want to go?” he asks. I nod silently. We walk to the door, the loud ruckus of laughter making my face fall with regret.

“We’re gonna head out.” Matt states. All eyes flicker towards us. I stand numbly at the attention. 

Ask. Yell. 

Do something.

Care. 

I pleaded silently with my eyes as my dad looked at me. 

“Okay, see ya soon. Thanks for stopping by.” he says. 

My heart lurches into my throat as I shove through the door. “Whatever.” I mumble. I patter down the cement, dragging Matt’s hand in mine. 

The car is so close. I move my feet faster, the hope dwindling to the pit of my stomach as the distance closes between the vehicle and my feet. I nearly trip over the line in the pavement. My eyes become blurry with tears, watching the pavement blocks pass beneath my feet. I count the lines, urging my mind to wander from the throbbing ache in my chest. 

One.

Two.

The laughter echoes before the thud of the door sounds. My steps falter, my feet stuck in nonexistent roots that tie me to the ground. 

Not even three lines in the pavement. 

Not even five seconds. 

Not even the 18 years I had spent by his side was enough time for him to step up.  

Nothing was enough. Nothing would ever be enough time to make him care. He just didn’t. 

It hurt. It felt the sting in my chest as I choked back a cry. I slap my hand over my mouth, gravity consuming me as I let my body go limp. I can’t fight anymore. I don’t have anything to fight for. 

Matt’s arms swarm around me as I fall against his chest. He cages me in his arms, pulling me close. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” he whispers. 

I shake my head as the hot tears leak from my eyes furiously. “It doesn’t feel okay–it hurts, Matt. It hurts so much.” I cry out. 

The cigarette burn hadn’t hurt this much. The windows slamming on my hands hadn’t hurt this much. Nothing had ever hurt this much. 

The stinging burn in my chest made my mind question if I was dying as Matt guided me into the car. I laid limp in his grasp as he sat me down, pulling the seatbelt across me. The gentle kiss on my head brought me no relief as I heard the passenger door shut. 

I barely heard the car ignition turn on as the vehicle lurched forward. My eyes darted to the house that had no memories except for haunted misconceptions. 

Should I really feel this sad if I’m not even really losing something? 

Heavy air seeped between my lips like acid being poured down my throat. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to live. My limbs felt the pressure of gravity intensify, limply losing all resistance and collapsing in an uncomfortable mess. 

The way my arm twisted between my side and the car door was painful, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. At least it brought some sort of distraction from the ripping in my chest. 

Part of me longed to feel the stinging burn of the cigarette again. Part of me wished the window had slammed down with a knife in my hands.

All of me wished for a feeling that felt better than this. 

_

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

“I’m here for you.” 

“Just let it all out.” 

The sweet nothings he murmured in my ear all night did little to nothing to ease my pain. The emotions had swirled in my stomach, crawling up my throat as I hunched over the toilet numerous times. 

Years upon years with the same man, but he had never broken me as much as he had now. 

The damage had always been permanent, but this new invisible scar was a different kind of permanent. The type of damage that only horrific tragedies had the devastation of creating. Tsunamis, tornados, earthquakes, shootings, genocide. 

But here I was, helpless against gravity as my heart shattered from my own father. 

My heart ached, pulsing with a heavy thump that pounded against my chest. Almost as if it was trying to leave, save me from the consuming pain. 

My eyes didn’t close peacefully at any moment during the night. Tears leaked out continuously, hours on hours, seemingly to no end. They seeped into my mouth, the salty taste of pure defeat. 

All the endless cries for attention, all the good behavior, all the attempts at trying to help him, all for nothing. 

Well, not all for nothing. All to feel like this. 

The night had come and gone. The sun seeped through the blinds, a glowing halo mocking my pain. I was supposed to go to school. I was supposed to get out of bed. 

I simply couldn’t.

My arms and legs stayed languid. I didn’t have the will to attempt to move anymore. Matt sat at his desk, editing a video as I stared blankly at the wall. He had refused to leave me alone. I didn’t have the energy to fight him on it. I didn’t have the energy for anything. 

At the sound of his chair swiveling, I hear his footsteps follow after. The blank wall in front of me turns into the sight of his somber face. He reaches a hand out, combing back the mess of my hair as I stare at him. The pity in his eyes made everything feel more real. I hated it. 

I darted my eyes to his chest as I heard him begin to whisper. “Hey,” his hand travels down, lightly massaging my shoulder. He lets out a heavy sigh, his knees thudding softly on the floor by the bed. “Madi just texted me she’s here, she’s wondering if you want to sleepover at hers. Do you want to?” Matt asks. 

“I just,” my lips quiver as I feel my eyes warm dryly. “I don’t know what I want anymore.” I whisper. 

“Hey,” he leans down, his face coming into view. His eyes dart in between mine as his lips tug in a tight line. “--how about you go with her, and if you want to leave, you can. I know Madi cares about you and you love being around her. Let her be there for you, okay?” he says. 

I suck in my bottom lip, nodding as he scoops under me and places me into a sitting position on the bed. I let myself sulk inward, my back aching from the uncomfortable lean. “Can I help you? Please?” His voice sounds soft and gentle as he looks down at me with tentative eyes. 

My eyes meet his as I nod loosely. I let my eyes fall to my lap as I heard him shuffle around the room. My hands fall limp in my lap as I sink further into the warm mattress. 

“Here,” I feel the brush run from the ends of my hair upwards, detanglinging the mess scattered on top of my head. 

After setting down the brush, Matt pulls a clean hoodie in front of me. I let out a heavy sigh, grabbing the material and placing it into my lap. I make no effort to pull it on, the task in front of me taunting me with a seeming impossible chore. 

“Lift up your arms, I’ll help.” My elbows barely raise from their resting position. Matt lifts my left arm upward, tugging the sleeve off and repeating the same action on my other arm. He tugs the material over my head, my bare chest flinching from the sudden rush of air meeting my skin. 

Matt guides his eyes with his hands, tugging the new, clean sweatshirt over my head. The fresh scent makes my nose inhale the air with a soft sigh. “Do you want different sweats?” he asks. 

I shake my head, letting it fall forward into his stomach as he stands in front of me. His hands steady on my shoulders, lightly sliding up and caressing my head. “Not really.” I breathe out. 

“That’s okay. Want me to walk you to Madi’s house? Can I?” he asks. I bob my head up and down against him as he pulls my shoulders back. He holds out his hand as I slide mine into his palm. I scoot to the edge of the bed, letting my feet land on the ground. 

I let my weight stand on my feet as he pulls me upward softly. Hand in hand, each step is less daunting as we walk towards the front door. 

As soon as he swings the door open, Madi comes into view, standing patiently looking up from her phone. “We have to get back to my house NOW! Let’s go!” She grabs my hand from Matt’s, pulling me urgently down the pavement. 

My feet slap on the ground, catching my weight as we come in front of her door. She swings it wide open, throwing it closed behind us. The modern home is intimidatingly clean. I hear clanks of metal, sizzling sounds crowding the air as a savory scent floods into my senses. 

“Mom’s making dinner, it’s almost done, but it tastes heavenly–especially while it’s still partially burning your tongue,” a laugh slips through my lips at her dramatics. “--come on!” 

Following her, I enter the kitchen. Laura gives me an energetic smile. She holds her arms open, “Hey! Long time no see, huh?” she says. I make my way into her arms, her embrace enveloping me tightly. I fall into her arms as she sways us side to side, squeezing me impossibly more as I let out a squeak from the pressure. “Did you talk about spring break yet?” she asks, letting go of me as her eyes dart to Madi. 

I look over my shoulder, seeing Madi shaking her head with an excited grin. Her eyes shift towards me. Her hands clasp behind her back as she shifts on her feet giddily. I tilt my head with confusion. 

“What are you doing for spring break?” she asks. 

I furrow my eyebrows, shrugging lazily. “Um….nothing?” I answer. 

Her smile grows as she lets out a squeak of laughter, clapping her hands in front of her chest. “Not anymore! You’re coming with us to LA!” she exclaims. I fight back a smile and watch her jump excitedly. My eyes shift towards Laura, who nods knowingly. 

“Yep! It’s time to celebrate! Don’t worry about your ticket, Matt already bought one for you. That boy is whipped for you, you know.” she shakes her head with disbelief, moving the spatula inside of the pan as it sizzles. 

Celebrate? He bought me a plane ticket? 

“He’s unbelievable.” I mutter through my smile. 

He bought me a plane ticket. 

“Yeah, yeah. Anyhow, we are gonna have so much fun! Bikinis, beaches, all the BEST foods, oh my god, I can’t wait! You’ll finally see our house out there, it’s the best. We will be spending every minute in the pool, I hope you know that.” she says. I put my hands up defensively as she points a warning finger in my direction. 

“Madi, behave.” Laura says from behind me. I feel her hand clasp down on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “I don’t know what your plans are for after graduation, but you are more than welcome to come with Madi and I to LA. I’m sure we’ll visit, but it would be a blast to have you out there with us!” she says. 

Madi had talked about it to me briefly while we were doing each other’s makeup a couple of days ago. It was a set plan for her. Every summer, they went out to their LA home, Madi’s true home, according to her. But, after graduation she was moving permanently. More opportunities for acting jobs, more opportunities in general for all her passions. 

I wasn’t mad she was leaving. I was happy for her. The amount of ambition and direction the girl had was astounding to look at. It did, however, make me slightly insecure late at night when my thoughts started to consume me. I had been so focused on the past and the present, I never had any thoughts for the future. College had always been the goal, but it was by default. I didn’t enjoy school, the closer it got, the more dread I felt about continuing another couple of years of education. No amount of A’s had ever made my dad happy. No amount of perfect scores ever made me happy. 

Madi walks up beside me, leaning her head onto my shoulder. “You better, I can’t imagine not having our girl’s nights anymore. I mean—Nick’s great and all, but sometimes I really just need someone to understand why I grab onto my right tit for comfort, ya know?” she asks. 

I hold back a laugh as Laura lets out a gasp. Madi yelps as I hear a light slap echo. “Madison!” Laura exclaims. The chuckles die down as Laura plates the food. My mouth waters at the sight of the homemade meal in front of me. 

“What are we celebrating out there anyhow?” I ask, piling a bite of heavenly food into my mouth. I nearly moan at the taste, my eyes going wide. 

“The boys are gonna hit 100k soon! They’re already at 98, so next week for spring break–I have an entire itinerary of pure fun–a celebration of them signing me as their manager.” she says. 

I smile, nodding in acknowledgement as I chew the large mouthful. “Plus, they were gonna look at possible houses. I can’t believe those boys are able to buy a house in LA, they’re blowing up faster and faster each day.” Madi pitches in. 

Move to LA? 

“Wait, what?” I ask. The loud clink of my fork falling onto the plate sends all eyes up to me. They exchange a knowing glance, a gesture that makes my appetite dissipate. 

“I’m sorry…I…I,” Laura starts, looking down nervously. “I thought you knew, I’m sorry.” she says. 

My eyes fall to the near full plate with tears forming in my vision. He’s moving across the country. He’s leaving Somerville. He’s leaving Boston.

He’s leaving me. 

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment on pinned post to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 13: Under The Moon

Matt’s POV

It hurt to watch her break in my arms night after night. The guilt gathered in my gut with each tear that seeped down her cheek. I could tell she was trying to hold it all in, but there was no way to bottle it up anymore. 

Not a word exchanged between her and her dad yet. I didn’t know if that was for better or for worse. 

My mind had been racing all week. Sputter of thoughts roaming through my head about her, what to do to make her smile last through the night. She just needed to heal, and I understood that. 

Well, try to understand it. 

It was a hard thing to wrap my head around. 

She had told me how the marks on her hands were an accident. He hadn’t meant to slam the window hard enough to send it crashing down on her hands. The way she explained it made me question everything. 

How is she so forgiving to a man who can’t seem to do anything but hurt her? 

I loved my dad, I loved my mom. But, would I really have loved them if they could never give me the time of day? I couldn’t wrap my head around it. 

After the whole conversation with him, my mom, and Era, I didn’t even know what to think. I didn’t even know what to say. 

Too many words weighed in my mind. 

Words that had been spat between the adults in front of my face as my fists had stayed clenched by my sides. I could barely hear what they were saying over the chants in my head, reminding myself to keep calm. 

But, I heard enough. 

I just wish I hadn’t. 

_

Y/n’s POV

I felt guilty. The amount of relief as I slept in Matt’s bed over the past week had been sickening. I didn’t want to feel so happy without my dad. I wanted to be happy with him. 

I hadn’t talked to him. I was scared. I don’t know exactly what I was scared of. Maybe it was that he would be a complete wreck. Maybe it was that he would be just fine. Either way, my heart twisted with a vulgar pain and mixed emotions. 

Matt hadn’t pushed me for anything. He simply held me in his arms when I cried, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. It helped, but it didn’t fix everything. 

I looked in his floor-length mirror as I smoothed over the fabric of the jersey. The material was soft and light, but the flashbacks that came with it were heavy. Every wrinkle in the fabric reminded me of his hands twisting in the material, his words spitting on my skin like needles. 

Something that had once made me so happy, now filled me with emotions I couldn't even comprehend. I loved it. I loved the way it was Matt’s. I loved the way he desperately wanted me to wear it. But I hated what it signified to me. It was the start of something that had seemed so great, ending up in the jumbled mess of whatever the fuck I was doing now. 

I had always wanted my dad to be happy. But, I wasn’t so sure now that he really had the opportunity to be completely happy without me. It was selfish. 

He hadn’t meant to slam so hard on the window that it would slam down. He hadn’t meant to yank my hair. But what did he ever mean to do? He didn’t hold any intentions with me. Good or bad. Somehow, that made me wish he really just had done worse. Maybe it would’ve helped me put the hope I still had for him in the ground, six feet under the dirt. 

“Ready?” Madi knocks on the open door frame. I flicker my eyes over to her, giving her a curt nod. She holds up her makeup bag in her hands, trotting over to my side. 

“Let’s just sit down. I’ll do you and you can do me?” she asks. I shake my head at her suggestion. I’ll ruin it. 

“I’m not nearly as good as you are. I don’t wanna mess anything up–” she pulls out a pallet and a brush, shoving the materials in my hands as she plops down onto the floor in front of the mirror. 

I sigh looking down at her. “Practice makes perfect! Makeup is temporary, it’s not like you’re giving me a tattoo, come on!” She tugs on the jersey as I plop down on the floor. 

I hesitantly stare down at the brush and small square pallet. “I don’t know, Madi. It’s a lot of steps, I don’t think–” 

She reaches over, opening the shimmery pallet. “How about this,” she takes the brush and dips into a shade. “--I’ll do it step-by-step, we’ll switch off.” I nod as she reaches out with the brush, closing my eyes as I feel the bristles move in soft circle motions around the entirety of my eyelid. 

“So,” she picks up more product. “--I’m just using this neutral shade to create a base. It’s easier to move in soft circular motions, blending out little-by-little.” she explains. 

I pay attention to the amount of pressure she applies with each movement and the areas she focuses on. I open my eyes as she pushes the brush into my hands. I dip into the soft beige powder, tapping the brush like she did. My hand reaches up, smudging the bristles with circular motions. 

“Like this?” I ask, pulling my hands down to rest on my knees. Madi opens her eyes, looking over to the mirror. 

“Oh my god, yes…you did it practically perfect, what the fuck.” she exclaims. She turns back to me with a look of astonishment. I feel the grin rise on my face from her compliment. 

I shrug my shoulders upward sheepishly. “Well,” I laugh dryly. “--I must have a good teacher then!” I remark. She rolls her eyes with a smile. “Well, duh.” she replies. 

_ 

Sitting between Nick and Madi on the metal bleachers, my ass was going numb. I didn’t understand hockey. I had no clue about any of the rules. But, it didn’t take a genius to see how good Matt was as a player. 

He floated on the ice with ease and precision. Him and Nate dominated together, swerving the puck between the opposing team like it was child’s play with Chris occasionally joining in. I knew his passion was YouTube with his brothers, but god, he could be a professional hockey player if he really wanted to be. 

It was hot, to say the least. The determination I could see in his eyes drove me nuts. Every single time he flashed me a cocky grin after a good play, I felt myself biting down on the flesh of the inside of my cheek. 

The game wasn’t even close as it came to an end. It was obvious the other team had pretty much given up. As the final ring sounded of the scoreboard, everyone cheered. 

People started standing up from their seats, piling out in herds from the stands. Marylou and Jimmy had strayed from the stands with cheerful smiles. “Does anyone wanna ride home with us or are you all gonna ride home with Matt and Chris?” Marlou asks. 

Nick and I shake our heads in sync. “I might, actually, if that’s okay?” Madi asks. They nod as she stands, walking in tow behind them. “See ya soon!” she says. She blows a kiss at me as I repeat the silly gesture. 

I feel Nick’s arm sling around my shoulders as I look towards the ice. The players spill out and down the hallway, towards the gym locker rooms. I see Matt wave his hockey stick in the air. I laugh, giving him a wave as he disappears down the corridor. 

“Want some?” Nick asks. I look down as he offers me his bag of skittles. I nod as he shakes a handful into my palm. “Thanks.” I mumble. He hums, shaking the bag into his mouth. 

“We can go wait outside the locker rooms, they might be a minute though.” Nicks says. I nod my head as he stands, following his movement upward as his arm stays slug around my shoulders. 

I pop the skittles into my mouth as we walk down the halls of the school. The sweetness makes my mouth salivate. Our steps echo through the barren halls as we arrive right outside the boys locker room. 

Nick plops down on the bench against the wall, dragging me down with him. The boy’s locker room door swings open. Chris walks out with damp hair and a duffle across his shoulder. 

His feet plant in front of the bench before he leans slightly down. He shakes his wet hair, sending a light shower of mist to Nick and I. “Chris!” we both yell in sync. Chris gives a shrug with a playful smile. He flops his duffle on the ground before sitting directly by my side. 

“So,” he reaches over, placing his arm over Nick’s. Nick squints his eyes, leaning to look at Chris before throwing his arm off of me. “Bitch, no.” Nick states. I let out a small laugh, watching as Chris pouts like a child. 

“Can I have some?” Chris points down to the bag of skittles. Nick snags the bag closer to his chest. “There’s none left,” Nick replies. 

I hold back a smile as Chris reaches over, trying to grab the bag from Nick. I pull myself against the wall as they fight over the bag. “Chris, let go!” Nick shouts. Chris shakes his head, yanking the bag out of Nick’s hand. Nicks flails his arm in the air as the skittles spill on the ground. 

“Chris!” he shouts. He leans down, picking up the array of skittles as Chris wraps his arm around my shoulders. Nick stands up, hesitating as he looks at the skittles in his palm. No trash can in sight. Nick shrugs, wandering to the outside doors, pushing them open as he throws the handful of candy. 

“Nick! Don’t litter!” Chris exclaims. Nick rolls his eyes, dusting off his hands as he walks back to the bench. “It’s skittles, you stupid fuck.” he spits. 

Chris waves his hand dramatically as Nick plops down on the bench, his thigh brushing against mine as he gives me an annoyed look. “Still, what if a bird chokes on it?!” Chris points out. 

Nick gives me a playful look. “Then he’ll taste the rainbow as he goes out,” he says. The giggles push through my lips endlessly. I hold my gut, hunching over as Chris laughs next to me, leaning onto me. 

Our laughs die down as we hear footsteps pattering our way. I look up, seeing Jeffrey. The smile falls from my face quickly. 

Jeffrey steps forward, his toes nearly touching mine. His arms crossed over his chest as he let out a dry laugh.  “You’re even fucking the gay one now? Damn, I wonder–”

“Shut the absolute fuck up. No one wants you here, leave.” Nick spits. His fists are clenched in his lap tightly. I feel Chris’s arm around me pat on Nick’s shoulder. Nick takes a deep breath, huffing as he leans against the wall. 

“Woah, woah. No need to get so offended. It’s not like it’s true, right?” he taunts. Chris shakes his head, letting out a huff of air. “Jeffery, you’re already on thin fucking ice with Nate right now, walk away before you do something to get kicked off the team.” He grumbles. 

“We both know he can’t kick me off, so save your shit.” he remarks. His feet pivot, stepping on mine. I yelp, pulling my feet under the bench as he shoots me a taunting smile. “Whoops.” 

“Jeff! My man, nice game!” The familiar voice makes my stomach lurch. Johnny. He comes up behind Jeffery, patting him on the shoulder before looking down at me. I shrink into Chris’s arm anxiously under his gaze. “Oh, hey kid! Long time no see!” Johnny says. 

I give him a tight-lipped smile and sooth my clammy palms over my jeans. “How do you know her, dad?” Jeffery asks. 

Dad? Fuck me.

Johnny reaches out, ruffling my hair. I sit frozen in my spot as he laughs. “She’s George’s kid.” he answers. 

I smooth over my hair as he pulls his hand back to his side. Jefferey shoots me a sly grin. “Really?” He asks. Johnny hums, swinging his keys in his hand. “Yup, now where’s Nate?” he questions. 

Nate? Why would he be looking for Nate? 

I hear the locker room door swing open as Nate and Matt walk out side by side. I lose all train of thought at the sight of him. His damp hair scuffled and misconstrued, his sweats hanging loose around his waist, revealing the slight glimpse of his briefs. 

Fuck me. My wandering eyes meet his as he gives me a cocky smile with squinty eyes. My cheeks burn as I turn my head towards the floor. “What’s up, bro’.” Jeffery acknowledges, slinging his arm over Nate. Nate grimaces, throwing his hand off his shoulders. 

“I’m not your bro.” he spits. 

Johnny gives each of them a warning glare. “Behave, let’s go.” He motions them to follow as he jiggles his keys in his hand. 

I give Matt a look of utter confusion as he shoots me a sympathetic smile. I turn, watching the group of three disappear down the hallway, breathing a sigh of relief as they round the corner. I feel his hand land on my shoulder, looking up to see his soft eyes gazing down at me. “Let’s go, yeah?” I nod my head, standing up as he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into his side. 

_ 

It was late at night. The sun had already seeped beneath the horizon, only the moon shining in and the living room lamp providing any sort of light. I sat next to Matt on the loveseat. His arm wrapped around my shoulders and my legs were thrown over his lap, his hand massaging the flesh mindlessly through our matching PJ pants. 

“Did you have fun at your first hockey game?” Jimmy asks, directing his attention towards me. I give him a nod with a smile. “Good, good. It’s not nearly as gnarly as when these boys used to play lacrosse, am I right?” The boys laugh at Jimmy’s statement, shaking their heads in unison. 

“Matt always had bloody shins. It was concerning.” Nick emphasizes. My eyes widen as I look up to Matt, finding him looking down at me with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Yeah, Matt here, oh my god–,” Jimmy slaps a hand down on his knee as he spits into an eruption of chuckles. “He, he, Matt—do you remember when you were first practicing for, oh my god–when you were first practicing for tryouts in the summer?” Jimmy lets the words slip through his curled lips. 

I watch Matt’s head shake as he closes his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose with a tight lipped smile. “Oh my god.” he lets out. 

Nick, Chris, and Marylou all burst out into laughter. They attempt speaking a couple of words, only to end up laughing even harder as they all reminisce. My own lips tug into a smile as I hear the chorus of their laughs. 

I wish I had what they had with each other. 

It was bittersweet. I felt welcome, I felt happy with them. His family felt more like family as we sat and talked at the dinner table and rummaged around each other on a daily basis. 

They felt more like family in the short amount of time I had known them compared to the years upon years with my dad. 

The smiles that tugged on my lips never lasted long when I started to feel as if I was looking through a window, seeing everything I ever wanted right in front of me. It made me so happy to feel a part of it–a part of something. But my heart tugged towards the thought of my dad, wishing I had experienced any of this with him. 

Why could I be enough for them but not for him? 

My smile falters as I lay my eyes in my lap. I see my hands resting on top of each other on my thighs. The bruise on the back of my palm had nearly completely faded. A small yellow hue was only apparent in certain lighting. It didn’t physically hurt anymore. 

I tune out the small talk as I lean my head onto Matt’s chest. His arm around me curls, cradling the back of my head. 

The conversation soon dies down. Matt pats his hand on my thigh. “Ready for bed?” I nod my head, getting up. I give everyone a small wave as Matt grabs my hand. 

We make our way into his room, a gentle thud of the door sounding as I sit on the bed. 

I go into his bathroom, starting to brush my teeth. Matt comes in behind me, mimicking the task with his own toothbrush. He wraps an arm around my waist from behind, pulling my back to his chest. I let my head fall onto him, a deep sigh escaping my lips. 

I lean forward, turning on the faucet and spitting the remnants of toothpaste in the drain. Matt does the same, grabbing my toothbrush and setting it back into the cup by his sink. I almost smile at the sight of our blue and green toothbrushes side by side, but I don’t. Instead, my mind wanders to thoughts of my dad. 

Matt takes a step towards me, planting his feet in front of mine. He lifts up both of his hands, caressing the sides of my face. His face is painted with concern. “What’s wrong?” he asks. 

I sigh, closing my eyes. I drop my chin, bring my gaze to the floor. “Hey,” one of his hands reached beneath my chin. My eyes meet his as I fight back a frown. “--talk to me.” he says softly. 

“I’m confused, Matt. I’ve never felt so lost before.” I express. I watch as his face contorts with questioning eyes, his head slightly tilting. “I…I just don’t know. I don’t know how to feel. I’m happy being here, but at the same time, that makes me feel like a failure….I couldn’t even get my own father to love me, Matt. I just–I don’t know.” I say.

I feel the wet stain run down my cheek. His hand beneath my chin swiftly brushes the stray tear away as I blink back the water works desperately. I’m tired of crying. 

“You shouldn’t have to earn a parent's love. Even in my toughest moments, my mom never made me feel like she didn’t love me. My dad always reassured me, even when I was in trouble, that he loved me.” he says. 

He lets his hand fall to my arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he peers down in my eyes. “There’s things…things you don’t know,” I furrow my eyebrows at him as he shakes his head. “--you don’t really remember much when your mom passed, you were also just so young–you couldn’t have understood a lot. I’m just saying,” he rubs at the bottom of his chin, “--it’s not your fault. Whatever happened, was never your fault. You were just a kid.” he points out. 

I nod, letting my head fall into his chest. I was just a kid. But–I’m still just a kid. And it still hurts just as bad. 

“It still hurts, Matt. I’m just,” I let out a huff, placing my hands on his chest as I look up at him. “--it’s just…I don’t even know…part of me wants to just walk away altogether, heal from everything–but…I can’t abandon him. I feel like giving up on our relationship means giving up on my younger self.” I say. My voice cracks from the painful realization. I bite the inside of my cheek, blinking back the hot tears clouding my vision. 

“There’s still that stupid little girl inside of my head, begging for a hug from her dad, Matt. And…and I finally got it. He didn’t mean to slam the window down on my hands, he’s not a bad person. He’s just been through some bad things.” I explain. I watch as Matt’s face contorts with an unreadable emotion. His eyebrows are furrowed, his lips are parted. It’s as if there’s something on the tip of his tongue. 

“What?” I ask. Matt shakes his head, looking towards the ground as his hair covers his face like curtains. I take a deep breath. Reaching out, I place a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, though. I really appreciate everything. I’m just…really confused.” I let out. He nods, rubbing his jaw nervously. 

“Want me to take your mind off of it?” he suggests. I nod affirmatively as he reaches out and grabs my hand. 

“What are we even gonna do? It’s almost midnight, Matt,” I laugh as he drags me through the hallway. “--how many more late-adventure dates do you have stored in your pocket?” I tease in a quiet whisper.

The living room is now barren and dark. The whole house is quiet. Matt shrugs, bending down and grabbing my shoes. “For you? Infinite amounts, hopefully.” he whispers. 

I grin, my ears growing hot. He kneels down on one knee, holding a singular shoe out in front of me. My shoe. I slip my foot in as he pulls up the back lip of the shoe. I lean a hand on his shoulder for balance as he does the same with the other shoe. 

“Thank you.” I say. He nods, shoving his own feet into his sneakers. “--’m course. Now,” he turns around with his keys in one hand, his other outreached in front of me. I look up at his soft smile, slipping my hand in his. “--let’s go, sweetheart.” he says. 

I fight back a growing smile as I suck in my bottom lip. He pulls me out the door, softly shutting and locking it swiftly. Tugging my hand closer to him, we make our way down to his car. 

He opens the passenger door, gesturing for me to sit. “Come on, princess.” he says. I turn my head away from him, hiding my blushing face as I hear him let out a triumphant laugh. 

_

The car trunk was propped open. Millions of stars in the sky above us as we laid side by side. My stomach was full of ice cream and butterflies. A giddy feeling overcame every inch of my skin as I turned my head to see him staring at me. 

“What are you looking at?” I ask. I squint my eyes playfully. His shoulder shrug upwards before he glances back at the sky. I get a glimpse of his diamond earrings shimmering in the moonlight, reaching out and caressing the jewelry. 

“Oh, me? Well,” he turns back, facing me. I see his hand outreach in the corner of my eye. The warmth of his fingers and palm radiate on the side of my jaw as I look into his gleaming eyes. “--I’m just looking at my beautiful girlfriend.” he admits shamelessly. 

I lean into his shoulder, shielding my blushing face as I hear his chuckles and the vibration of his chest. “Shut the fuck up. My cheeks hurt, Matthew.” I whine playfully. 

His arm bends, cradling my head with a light ruffle of my hair. “My bad, didn’t know it was so easy to get you all flustered.” he teases. 

A devilish smirk clouds my face as I pull my head away from the crook of his neck. I see his eyes trained on the sky, his tongue darting between his lips. My mind flashes back to his stature on the ice during his game, my heart racing at the memories. 

I wonder how easily I could get him flustered. 

Sucking in my bottom lip, I sit up from my lying position. Matt starts to untuck his arm from under his head. Quickly, I shift. I waste no time in swinging one leg over him, straddling him. 

“Wa–oh.” I laugh at his surprise. His hands dart to my hips as I reach out both my hands, pushing on his chest. 

I lean forward, smiling to myself as I feel his hands grip me tighter. I breathe against his neck, grazing my lips over his pulse. I hear his lips shutter out a shaky breath. 

I trail my lips with soft kisses, feeling his stomach clench as I let a hand wander down his abdomen. As my lips graze against his ear, I stop. “Whose easy to get riled up now, hm?” I tease. 

“Oh my god.” he breathes out. I smile proudly, teasing my hand on his happy trail underneath his shirt. I pulled myself up, seeing his eyes closed and his lips parted. 

“How was that for ‘easy to–” 

He cuts me off, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck and pulling me to his lips. The kiss is passionate, his lips greedily moving against mine in desperation as his other hand begins to slide down, gripping my thigh securely. My stomach flutters with heat at the action, my hips mindlessly circling onto him. 

“Oh, fuck.” he hisses. My legs clench around him, feeling the bulge directing under me at the sudden motion. An overwhelming desire clouds my mind from any thoughts.

I want him–I need him. 

Looking down at him, I could see the restraint in his furrowed brows as he gripped onto me tightly. I let myself fall into the crook of his neck, leaving a light kiss underneath his ear. 

“You know, you never did show me your backseat, sweetheart.” I say in a hushed tone. 

I barely have a moment to react before Matt is pulling me back down to his lips. His mouth moves against mine as his hand wraps in my hair, keeping me against him. 

The smacking noise echoes as we breathlessly pull away. “Fuck me. God, you’re so perfect.” he says through jagged breaths. I laugh, pulling my hands up and down his chest. 

A ringtone bursting through thick air brings my attention to my phone. I flip the device over, the contact name erasing any and all feelings, leaving them in a weighted guilt in the pit of my gut. 

Dad. 

Matt looks over at the phone, then up at me. The rings mock me as I stare down at the screen. It’s gonna hang up soon, I need to pick it up. My fingers don’t move. My eyes don’t shift from the screen in the slightest.

[1 missed call from Dad] 

At the new screen, my phone finally drops out of my hand, landing with a soft thud. I squint my eyes shut, shielding my face with my hands. 

I should be mending our relationship. Instead, I’m on top of my boyfriend. 

I feel Matt’s hands enclose around my wrists, pulling them down from my face as I look down in shame. “I’m–sorry.” I choke out. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispers out. He shifts his weight until he’s leaning against the back of the seats. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. I should’ve picked up. 

“--you have nothing to be sorry about.” he says. The sudden intimate position makes my body tense. This shouldn’t feel like this. I shouldn’t feel over-the-moon on my boyfriend's lap a week after I’ve abandoned my dad. 

The tears don’t cloud my eyes. An overbearing wave of numbness makes my limbs fall limp at my sides. 

Matt pulls me back with his hands clasped around the tops of my arms. “Hey,” he swiftly pushes back a piece of hair from my face. “--talk to me,” he says. 

I shake my head, staring at our laps. “I should’ve picked it up. I…” I trail off as Matt runs his hands down my arms. His hands clasp around each of mine. “I, I should want to talk to him…why don’t I want to, Matt? What’s wrong with me?” 

The question stumbles out of my mouth with shame. I shut my eyes tightly, urging tears to come. 

I should be sad. 

I huff in frustration as I feel nothing but bitter words swarming my mind. 

The anger replacing the depression makes every inch of my skin crawl with uncertainty. “Nothing is wrong with you.” Matt says softly. He leans down, catching my eyes in his before sitting back comfortably. 

“Nothing has ever been wrong with you,” he says. I shake my head, grimacing at the painful thoughts. 

“Why am I so…angry?” I breathe out.  My eyes dart between his as he presses his lips into a tight-line. 

“You have people who care about you. Me, mom, dad, Chris, Nick, Madi, hell–even Nate. You’ve never had to beg for them to care.” I let out a huff at his words. Why did I have to beg him then? “--I think your anger is recognizing your mistreatment. It’s a good thing.” he states. 

I swallow thickly. “It doesn’t feel like a good thing. I don’t want to be angry at him–-I…” My lips part with silence. 

The devastation of his presence clouding my mind had become inevitable and routinely. The rage flooding through my veins was new, but not necessarily being pushed back and unwelcome. 

“You just have to let yourself feel things. I promise you, bottling them up will not help.” he says. I nod, letting myself lean into him. He takes the hint, cradling his arms around me as I let my head rest on his shoulder. 

Bottling it up wouldn’t help. It would only stall the inevitable. I let my body fall limp as his hand soothed against my back. 

His arms didn’t feel like my dad’s. They felt safer–more secure. I relax fully into his embrace as my mind pulses with the racing thoughts. 

Maybe, it was never that I wasn’t enough for my dad. 

I let my heart synchronize against Matt’s chest. He was more than enough. He made me feel like more than enough. Everyone around him echoed the same feeling. 

Everyone except for George.

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Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes.

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment on pinned post to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 12: 

Neither my heart or my mind pulled in one direction to a clear decision. Every thought wavered my mind back and forth as I stared around the dark room, laying on the cold, hard mattress. 

Matt had made me unbelievably happy. But, it was more than that. He made it seem so easy, so natural to be in the constant state of warm butterflies resigning through my veins.

My dad was…my dad. I had prayed and begged to every god and every star for years upon years. His arms wrapping around me felt like hope–and not the kind I had to make up in my head. 

The back of my hands were extremely tender from the bruises that slashed across my skin. Every time I had gotten close to letting my eyes flutter shut, I accidentally rolled over on the throbbing flesh. 

It felt like a stupid decision to even have to consider. My father–who I’ve known my whole life, or a boy I haven’t even known for six months. 

The guilt weighed heavy on my chest as my crusted eyelashes pulled apart with each blink. I had cried enough that it ran dry. The drought had consumed me, but the flood of emotions still crashed down on me with colossal waves. 

Selfish. Every thought passing by was selfish. I wasn’t just thinking of my dad’s recovery, I was thinking of him finally talking to me–wanting to talk to me. 

But, why now? Why did he suddenly want to get better and care about me when I finally had found something that made my chest not feel so…empty. 

I couldn’t feel time pass by anymore. The consuming thoughts and conversations in my head had paralyzed time for me. 

Until I heard my phone alarm start to go off. 

My body felt heavy as I stood from my bed. The cold, morning air didn’t feel refreshing. It just felt cold. I let my feet drag on the floor as I pulled on an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. 

After doing the absolute bare minimum, my phone buzzed.

[From Matt: Outside :)] 

With a heavy sigh, I grabbed my bag and stormed to the door. I heard my dad’s laugh from the kitchen as the smell of eggs reached my nose. 

The nausea waved over me as I forced my eyelids to blink open. 

It’s gonna be a long day, that’s for sure. 

_

Matt’s POV

We had barely sat in Mrs. Evans class for five minutes before I felt her head collapse on my shoulder. I knew something was wrong, it wasn’t hard to tell. 

Her swollen eyes were sunken into her cheeks with dark circles. She had been deathly quiet, seeming to be fighting with gravity to hold up any limb. I had asked her what was wrong in the car, but I was met with a hum of acknowledgement. 

I didn’t push further. I had just turned down the music before reaching my arm out and pulling her head down on my bicep as I drove. 

Why was she so tired? Why did she look so sad?

The sweatshirt she was wearing was one of my bigger ones. It was sickening how happy it made me to see her in my clothes. Especially as she bunched the extra fabric into her fists as if it was the comfiest thing on Earth. 

I held back a laugh as I felt a slight trace of damp wetness where her mouth rested on my arm. She’s drooling on me. With anyone else, I probably would’ve been absolutely revolted–but with her, it was adorable. 

I had brought my hand up to her forehead. It wasn’t too warm, she wasn’t sick. 

Maybe she just didn’t sleep well last night? 

Her bed definitely wasn’t the comfiest thing. Honestly, the thought of her sleeping with just the thin, worn blanket in the dead of winter made me upset. At first I had hoped there were more blankets stored away in the house, but after realizing how truly barren everything was–I highly doubted it. 

I wanted her to stay over at my house, but I didn’t push when she hesitated. I didn’t wanna take away her personal time. But, part of me was sure that she only hesitated because she didn’t wanna feel like she was over-staying. 

After being dismissed into table work with our partners, Mrs. Evans shot me a questioning look, gesturing her pen in her hand down to Y/n. I shrugged softly with the shoulder opposite of the arm she was leaning on. Mrs. Evans nodded her head hesitantly, bringing her attention back to whatever paper rested in her hands. 

_

Each class passed the same. I was worried to say the least. Each time I tried to ask if she was okay, she just responded telling me she was tired. 

I had my hockey game tonight. I wasn’t worried–the team we were playing against didn’t have great scores so far into the new season. The only thing I was worrying about was her. 

Her hands stayed curled in the sweatshirt sleeves like a blanket, tucked under her chin practically all day. I wanted to reach out, hold her hand–but I refused to wake her up. 

“Hey, wake up.” I whisper. She groans in response, nuzzling further into my arm as I take the keys out of the ignition. Chris and Nick had already gotten out of the car while I stayed, gently petting her hair and trying to wake her up slowly. 

“Are you okay? Did you just not get good sleep?” Her eyelids hazily flutter open as she shakes her head back and forth. I lightly laugh, watching as she swipes the drool off her imprinted cheek from my hoodie lines. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” I urge. She nods slightly, but makes no movement to even unclip her seatbelt. I didn’t mind–I honestly liked taking care of her, doing anything and everything to make her life easier and to make her feel appreciated. 

I walk around, opening her door leaning over to unclip her seatbelt. I grab her bag and reach out for her hand. Her feet stumble walking to the door. I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her to me as her weight immediately leans on me. 

I guided her into the front door before sitting her on the couch. In a sleepy daze, she still reaches out, petting Trevour. I hold back a smile as I close the front door, slipping off my shoes. 

I walk over, kneeling on the floor in front of her as I untie her shoe laces. I pull off each shoe from her foot before standing and offering her a hand. She lazily reaches out, placing her hand in mine as I feel her warmth radiate through the fabric of the sweatshirt. 

Her eyes shoot open as I pull her up, a gasp of pain erupting from her mouth as she pulls her hand back to her chest. Did I grab her that hard? No–I couldn’t have. 

Looking up at her face, I notice her panicked eyes darting around the room. “Hey, what’s wrong with your-” I reach out, but she pulls her hands behind her back. My heart sinks with the realization. 

She promised she’d tell me. 

“Can we–can we just go to your room?” she asks. I nod hesitantly before following her steps. 

As I walk through the threshold of my room after her, I close the door softly. She lays on the bed, pulling the material even further down her arms and bunching it up in her clenched hands. She snuggles on top of the comforter, pulling her hands under her chin. 

She promised. She’d tell me. Right?

I walk over, laying on my back as she stays in her position. Her guilty eyes tell me all I need to know. I don’t even have to hear the lie to know she’s not telling the truth. 

My lips quiver at the thought of her pain. How could someone hurt her? How could somebody even hurt their own kid? 

I take a deep breath. Maybe–just maybe, I’m overthinking this. My anxiety has always led me to make abrupt conclusions. I hope this is one of them. 

“Y/n?” I voice. Her eyes are fluttered shut, a small hum erupting from her sealed lips. “What is–” 

“Matt, I’m really tired. Can we please just take a nap?” she asks. 

I reach out, caressing her arm. “Yes, just—is everything okay?” I ask. Her eyes peer open slightly before closing once more. 

I see her lips tremble as they pull apart. “Yeah…everything’s okay.” she says. I feel a weight drop in my gut at the obvious lie. 

I let myself sit in doubt as her breathing starts to pace in deep, even breaths. The light snores start sounding from her mouth.

Patiently observing her sleeping state, I reach out. I slowly and gently pull her wrist out from under her chin in the slightest. I pull down the bunched-up sleeve with a snail pace. 

The slight shift of her body makes me freeze. She snuggles further into the sheets, the light snores resuming. I hold my hands in place.

After a minute, I finally crept the fabric down lower and lower. Purple, green, and yellow hues paint a line across the back of her hand. I bite the inside of my cheek, grinding my teeth together as my ears grow hot. 

I place her hand gently down, tugging up the material into its original place. What the fuck do I do? 

I slowly lift myself from off the bed, pulling my phone in my hands as I travel down the hallway. 

Please don’t hate me for this. This is me trying to help. 

_

Y/n’s POV 

Selfish. Selfish. Selfish. 

The word chanted like a mantra even in my sleepy haze. As my eyes fluttered open, I noticed the sunset peering in through his bedroom window. The bed was completely barren beside me, not even an indent resting in the comforter. 

Where is he? Is he already at his hockey game? I stretch my limbs out, standing from the bed. I hear the faint whisper of voices as I open his bedroom door. Two female voices–ones I knew like the back of my hand. 

Before I can round the corner, Nick erupts from his room with Madi behind his shoulder. 

“Can you come in for a sec?” he asks. I look over my shoulder, peering down the hallway as the voices seem to hush to a quieter volume. Looking back at Nick, I hesitantly nod my head. 

He opens the door wider for me to come in. Madi greets me with a small smile as she tucks some of her chocolate hair behind her ear. I give her a smile back as I hear Nick shut the door from behind me. 

I notice the white dots of makeup around her eyes as I get closer. “Woah, your makeup is actually astounding.” I compliment. 

Her eyes beam with a happy squint. “Want me to do yours?” she offers. I nod my head eagerly as she tugs me to Nick’s bed, sitting me on the neutral bedding. 

Nick turns around, clapping his hands together with a smile. “So,” he walks over, grabbing a speaker in his hands and pressing some of the buttons. I hear the faint song start to increase with volume as Madi nods her head along to the beat. “--let’s get lit, bitches.” he announces.

I laugh, bobbing my head in sync as Nick starts dancing with that talent of a patient having a seizure. 

“Do you want me to just do your makeup? I’ll make it look pretty, I swear!” she says. I give her a curt nod, watching as she digs through the hot-pink makeup bag. 

“Purple or pink?” she asks, holding up two different pallets. I point to the pink one as she squeals in excitement. “I was hoping you’d say that! Pink is definitely gonna look perfect on you.” she remarks. 

She opens the pallet, revealing small pans containing varying shades of pink hues. Taking a small brush from the small pink bag, she dips the bristles in the powder, tapping it on the rim of the rectangular pallet as excess product shakes off the brush. 

“Okay, just close your eyes for me…” she directs. I let my eyes flutter shut as I feel the soft circular motions of the brush against my eyelid. 

The sensation almost puts me to sleep as I sit upright. I hear her rummage through her bag, keeping my eyes closed as I feel various products placed onto the skin around my eyes. 

“Okay, look up for this part.” I follow her command, my eyes flickering up to the ceiling as I feel the slight sticky sensation of her drawing with an eyeliner pencil in small dots in the same places she had on her own eyes. 

“And…” she trails off, patting down her pinky on my eyelids with a shimmery shade of glittery pink. “--done! Nick, come look!” 

I open my eyes fully, watching as Nick rushes over from dancing around the room in the opposite corner. He leans down, his lips parting. “Damn! This really looks good on you!” he states. 

I grin at the compliment, eagerly soothing my covered palms on my thighs with excitement. Madi stands up, waving her hand as a motion for me to follow. My feet practically bounce off the floor with each step as I walk behind her into Nick’s bathroom in his room. 

She flips on the lights as I stare at myself in the mirror. I had never had access to makeup, not even used it because it seemed like such a waste of money. But, I felt beautiful. 

The pink shimmery shades made my eyes pop. The small dots of white eyeliner made everything look so…perfect. I knew I was beautiful, but looking in the mirror made me feel beautiful. 

“I love it so much, oh my god! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I exclaim. I had pulled Madi into a hug as she wrapped her arms around me. With a flush of embarrassment, I stepped back. “--sorry, I just got really excited.” I mumble.

Madi doesn’t drop her hands, instead she pulls me back into a tight embrace. “Girl, you’re fine! We’re friends! I’m a hugger too, no worries.” she says. 

I let out a sigh of relief, letting my arms relax around the girl as I appreciated the moment. Sure, Matt’s hugs were so unbelievably great–his moms were too, but it didn’t feel like this. 

I had always wanted a girl-friend. I wanted to get ready, blasting music as we picked out each other’s outfits. She hadn’t just made me look pretty–she made me feel pretty. 

“I really appreciate it, Madi. I really–fuck I’m PMS-ing, I’m trying so hard not to cry!” I announce. I look up, blinking back the growing pools of water in my eyes. 

Madi grabs me by both of my shoulders. “Oh my god! Me too!” she exclaims. A smile covers my face as our laughter mixes together. I see Nick walk in through the mirror as he wraps his arms around the both of us, squeezing with an absurd amount of pressure. 

“Sorry–I felt left out,” he says. The laughter gets louder in the tiled bathroom as the music plays from the speaker. 

Madi clenches her gut, falling to the floor as her squeaks of giggles fall endlessly. I hold onto the counter as Nick glances between the both of us with wide eyes. 

“What the fuck is going on.” he whispers out. The statement isn’t funny, but for some reason Madi’s laugh makes my giggles contagiously flow as I feel my eyes squint with streams of tears falling. 

Madi tilts her head up, her own wet tears falling down her cheeks with smudged mascara. “I’m so glad I’m gay.” Nick breaths out. The giggles get silent as only wheezes of laughter escape our mouths. 

We both take a couple of deep breaths, calming down as we exchange a look of disbelief. “We can take this shit off so we don’t look like sparkly-raccoons.” she suggests. 

I nod my head in agreement as she stands up, grabbing a bag of makeup-wipes off the counter. She snatches out one, handing it to me as I hold it cluelessly. “Just do what I do,” she directs. 

I follow her motions, my skin turning a slight shade of pink as I wipe at the skin. 

Soon enough, both of our faces are bare. Nick dances behind us as we observe through the mirror, exchanging looks with smiles. 

_

After an incredible amount of cookies and an unreasonable amount of trashy reality TV, I felt nothing but refreshed. The sullen thought of my dad looming over my head was pushed out by the ridiculous comments from Nick’s mouth. 

“When’s Matt’s hockey game? Isn’t it late?” I ask, reaching around for my phone in my empty pockets. 

Nick’s lips smack together as he twists his mouth to the side. “He’s actually, uh, he’s not playing tonight.” he explains. 

I tilt my head with a curious look. “What–why? Is he okay?” I press. Nicks nod affirmatively as I let out a breath of relief. 

“He, uh, I don’t know…” he trails off, grabbing his phone. “--he can explain it all to you, he said he was on his way home a couple of minutes ago—it shouldn’t be long.” he says. 

I suck my bottom lip between my teeth, nibbling on the skin with nervousness. I sit with the swirling pit of anxiety bringing me back to reality–everything I had forced myself from confronting since I had walked through Nick’s bedroom door. 

I feel a warm hand land on my shoulder. I look over, seeing Madi’s eyes giving me a soft expression with a reassuring smile. “Hey, it’s just Matt. That guy practically worships the ground you walk on from how he talks about you.” she says. 

I feel my cheeks flush as I inhale a deep breath, nodding my head in acknowledgement to Madi. It’s just Matt. 

I hear a sudden knock at the door as my ears perk with anticipation. “Come in.” Nicks shouts. 

The door creaks open as Matt pokes his head through the sliver. He gives a small smile and wave to Nick and Madi before turning to me. “Can you come with me?” he asks. 

I get up off the bed, clenching the fabric of the hoodie sleeves in my hands as I give the pair still laying on the bed a smile. “Thank you guys. See you later?” I ask. Madi nods aggressively, making me laugh as I see Nick hold up his hand with a look that says, ‘duh.’ 

“Yeah,” Nicks starts, “--obviously. Sorry, Matt, you’re gonna have to share. She’s our girl now.” he states. 

“True that.” Madi replies, high-fiving Nick with pursed lips. I shake my head in amusement before turning to see Matt doing the same. He nods his head, a notion for me to follow him as I give them one final wave. 

“Our girl.” Matt mocks in a high pitched voice. I hold back a laugh, following as he walks down the hallway and into his room. 

“My girl, actually. Ain’t that right?” he presses. I nod affirmatively, watching as he shuts the door behind him. I turn to dive into the bed, pausing as I look at the array of items rested on his sheets. 

The plant his mom had given me, the two toy frogs, bags that had familiar articles of clothing spilling out from the top. 

“Matt,” I gasp, turning around to see him staring at me with a sullen look. “--what is all of this? I…what’s, what's going on?” I breathe out. 

“I,” his gaze flickers towards the ground and back up to me. “I saw your hands, Y/n. I know you lied, I’m sorry I went behind your back, but I needed to make sure you were safe. I read what you had written in my journal, you can’t live like that anymore.” he says. 

My lips part as my jaw falls with gravity. I stand frozen in place as my eyes stare at his chest. Dad. 

I hear the patter of his feet as his hands land on my shoulders. I look up, a tear falling from my eyes as I meet his gaze. “I talked to my parents. We came up with a couple of options for you, but I’m sorry—you can’t live with a man who hurts you this much.” he states. 

“You promised you wouldn’t read what I wrote, Matt.” I point out, a frown forming as I tug my lips into a tight line. 

“You promised me you would tell me if this ever happened. I’m sorry, but I did what I had to.” he explains softly. 

I feel the anger rumble in my chest as my vision blurs with hot tears of frustration. “Matt, he’s my dad. I can’t just leave him. I can’t give up on him.” I spill the words with a broken voice as I push him off me with a hand on his chest. 

“He was getting better–he–” I spit with anger lacing in my tone as I pushed my hands on his chest repeatedly. 

“He was passed out drunk when we got to your house, Y/n.” He lands his hands on top of mine, sliding down and holding my wrists against his chest. The skin unveiled shrines, the shades of the bruises covering my flesh with a sinking feeling in my gut. 

“You’re lying. Don’t lie to me, Matt!” I cry out pitifully as my voice cracks. 

“I’m not…he didn’t even go to work today. He just screamed about–it doesn’t matter what…just–you can’t be there.” he breathes out. 

I swallow the thick lump in my throat. “Mom said you can stay here. I’ll even sleep out on the couch or with Chris or Nick. Madi’s mom, Laura, lives next door. She said she has a spare bedroom too….” he trails off. 

People wanted to help me? Just like that?

My eyebrows furrow as I glance up at him. “Matt, I don’t know, this is a lot—” I suck in a harsh breath, looking up at the ceiling as I will the tears to stay at bay. 

“I know, I know. But—-we all care about you, we’re all here for you…” he says. His hands drop my wrists before he pulls me into his arms. “I care about you, I’m here for you…okay? It’s all gonna be okay, I promise.” he soothes. 

I nod my head in his embrace as he pets the back of my head with a gentle touch. “Asking people for help–accepting help…it’s really out of my comfort zone, Matt. I just…I don’t even know.” I sigh. 

“It’s gonna be okay. You can still see your dad if you want to, I’m not gonna stop you—but, I’m coming with. I can’t—I can’t just let you get hurt like that. It kills me.” he utters softly under his breath. 

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, suggestive, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, get tissues.

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment on pinned post to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 11: Lost In The Memory

Matt’s hand cradled mine gently. He applied the nail paint meticulously as the delicate brush left behind a smooth layer of color on my nails. His touch was comforting and precise. The sensation of the wet polish contrasted from the warmth of his hands against mine. 

He was completely absorbed in the task as he painted my nails with precision. His tongue continued prodding from the corner of his mouth in concentration. He occasionally darted the pad of his thumb along the surrounding skin of my nails, swiftly brushing away any mishaps. 

The paint coated my nails in a shiny green finish. The color cornered my thoughts to Marylou’s garden. 

She had told me how it would be a couple of weeks before anything truly bloomed. I didn’t mind–I was still excited to see the vibrant plants come to life. As a token of gratitude, she had also given me a gift. 

Three small leaves littered on a thick stem inside of a modest ceramic pot. An easy plant to take care of according to her. She had explained to me that it needed to be watered every couple of days, but it was hard to kill. 

I looked over, seeing the pot sat on my nightstand with the two Lego frogs placed in front of it. The blue and green trinkets and lively plant stood out when quickly glancing over my room, but I liked it. 

I have recently been getting better sleep at night. The spring weather had replaced the bitter cold with a soft night breeze. My blanket did enough to shield my body from the sullen wind. 

But, the weather wasn’t the only reason for my body being able to relax into the metal springy mattress. The small decoration made the room seem more cozy–or maybe less prison-like. 

I had reached for the frogs each morning and night as if they were pets. I pat softly on their head alone in my room, imaging Matt doing the same thing as I drifted off to sleep. 

“There…” Matt puts the brush back into the bottle, screwing on the top. “Now, we just need to wait for it to dry.” He reaches out, placing the small glass bottle on my nightstand. 

“Thanks,” I look down, admiring the summery green hue that coats my nails. “--I really love them.” I express myself softly. I look up, seeing Matt staring at me with a smile. 

Our knees touch as we sit criss-cross on my bed. He pulls both of my hands in his own, blowing out air on my nails. My spine feels tired as I adjust my back straighter. 

“Want me to sit behind ya?” he asks. I nod my head with a sheepish smile. He got up, stalking behind me. “Fuck.” I hear him mutter as a thud echoes through the room. He holds his knee before bending down to the floor. 

“What is this?” My eyes go wide as I see the leather journal in his hands, my mom’s journal. I clasp the book quickly into my hands, setting it on my nightstand. “Got a secret journal under your mattress, hm?” he teases. 

I shake my head as I let out a dry laugh. I feel him sit behind me before his hands grasp at my hips, tugging me until my back presses against his chest. His legs cage around me as I lean my head back on his chest. I feel him grab my hands before placing my palms flat on top of his slightly bent knees. 

“It’s–uh, it’s not mine, actually.” I state. His eyes sink down to me before his hand brushes a stray hair behind my ear. “--it’s, um, it’s my mom’s.” I explain. 

His face contorts with confusion as he looks at me briskly. I avert my eyes, glancing around the room. My eyes feel stuck on the empty walls, noticing all the chips and scratches of the withered paint.

I feel his fingertip bring me back to the present moment. The pad of his pointed finger grazes the skin of my neck lightly. I feel the subtle outline of a smiley face on my birthmark as I try to contain my smile. 

“I haven’t read it. My dad…he was gonna throw it away. I guess I just wanted another piece of her? I don’t know…” I sigh. My shoulders sink with the heavy breath. I feel Matt’s fingers retract. My skin continues to crawl on the spot his warm hands were tracing. 

I feel the palms of his hands rest on my shoulders. I see him leaning down out of the corner of my eye. I turn my face, my stomach swarming with fuzzy warmth as I meet his soft gaze. 

He leans in, his lips puckering against my cheek with a swift kiss. I fight back the burning tundra of heat crawling up from my neck. His eyes are fluttering closed as his head curves downward. The delicate graze of his nose lingers on my burning cheeks as I bite the inside of my cheek. 

“I get it.” he says. The reassurance calms my nerves as I take a deep breath. So soft, so quiet, so little, yet his words were enough. As I let my body relax, I appreciate the heating radiating off of him from behind me. 

I stared at the leather journal, wanting to hear her voice through her written words. I didn’t wanna intrude and invade her privacy. Not like it mattered very much anyway–but a journal was private. However, frustration had built up in the pit of my gut time after time due to every failed conversation with my dad. 

Only two more times. I had only tried two more times, but they had both hurt just as bad as the first. It was the bitter taste of defeat, but not from losing a fight–from not having a fight at all. 

“My dad won’t ever talk about her. Hell–he won’t even really talk to me.” I grit out. The anger rages with a tightening heat in my chest. 

The feeling subsides as soon as I see Matt’s smile falter. A subtle frown pulls on his lips. Fuck, I ruined it. Guilt consumes me as my mind panics. 

I ruined it. I fucking ruined it. 

The once sweet moment that felt like a sun beaming down on an early summer day had been dulled down to a flickering light of a broken lamp. I cleared my throat, pushing back the thoughts. 

I force myself to give him a small smile, to which his eyebrows furrow inward. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.” I express. He shakes his head, looking down. 

My heart sinks at the sight of his disapproval. The feeling of guilt drags me to the ground with heavy chains. The familiar pull had made an appearance countless times before, but never to this extent. 

Maybe that was just because I hadn’t seen him like this. Maybe, it was because I hadn't made him feel like this. 

His head lifts upwards until his eyes meet mine. He looks at me like he’s looking through me. It should feel intimidating, but it doesn’t. It feels like he’s looking at me to see me–to really see me. 

“You’re not ruining anything,” he says. The softness of his voice makes the silky words sink through my system like a leaf in the wind. He makes it seem so easy. 

His reassurance washes over me. I feel my lungs scream for air as I take in a shaky breath, not realizing I had been holding out as I waited for his reaction. The fuzzy warmth beckons my mind to stay present, grounding me as I let myself look and take in his serene eyes gleaming down at me. 

“You sure?” I remark. My voice is playful, but the words hold meaning as I lick my lips in anticipation for his response. I watch as his eyes squint down at me, a smirk plastering on his face. 

His hands move up from my hips, tangling around my front. He laces his hands in one another as his arms embrace me from behind. He envelopes me closer to him, burying his face in the crook of my neck. 

The sudden ticklish sensation starts as his nose drives lightly over my skin. I squirm, but he holds me securely as giggles erupt from my lips. I keep my hands carefully still on top of his bent knees. 

“Never been so sure of something in my life, sweetheart.” he says. 

His hot breath meets my neck with a heat that seems to seep into my cheeks. I bite down on my bottom lip as I feel his soft lips enclose around my neck. The sound of his lips kissing my skin reaches my ears, the wet sound making my mouth water. 

“--can’t believe I get to call you mine.” The hum from his mouth vibrates as his lips trail wet kisses down to my collarbone. My stomach clenches, trying to find an escape from the reeling swarm of heat in my gut. 

My shoulders cave into the ticklish sensation, caving inwards, as he pecks impossibly light at my skin. The sudden movement deters Matt. He pulls his face upward, his eyes sinking into mine like an anchor. 

The flat line between his lips curve upwards, tugging into a mischievous smirk. I feel his hand leave my shoulder. His fingers lift up from underneath my chin, holding either side of my face. His grip is secure, but not forceful as he pulls my head to the side. 

The movement opens my neck more to him. My hair slides off my shoulder and to my front, creating a barrier in front of my neck. I see his smirk falter for a minute, but it stays slightly painted on his face. 

His eyes dart to mine as his hand leaves my chin. I keep my head pressed against his shoulder at the angle, watching as his eyes gleam with a new found proudness. His hand brushes the hair backward, letting it fall behind my shoulder.  

The slight touch leaves me breathless. I fight back a smile as I try to keep my breath at an even pace. 

His lips hovering over my skin, nearly brushing it, makes all my thoughts run blank. My hands on his knees gasp on as I feel his lips brush against my flesh in the slightest. A vibration along my neck from a laugh emitting from him sends an embarrassment to my cheeks with a burning sensation. 

“--all mine, right?” His lips finally brush my neck with a soft kiss. The wet noise echoing off the barren walls of my bedroom. 

His mouth trails down, leaving the hair on my skin standing straight on my neck with each clambering movement of his lips. “--mine,” his tongue darts out, teasingly licking the area right below my ear. “--mine” the touch of his lips on the spot makes my insides crawl with excitement. 

“Matt!” I squirm in his arms as he eases his hold. He brings me back to his chest, resting his chin on top of my head as chuckles escape his mouth. 

As I caught my breath while leaning on his shoulder, it felt like every star in existence was aligning into its rightful place. The words escaping his mouth, his lips on my neck, everything—it all just felt right. 

“I can’t believe you’re mine.” he says softly. My chest clenches with a light laugh at his sweet words that have repeatedly fallen from his lips like a prayer. 

His words weren’t a direct complement–but it felt like one. His soft claims made me feel like I was the best prize to be earned–and he won the contest of my heart. 

“You’ve said that almost five times, Matt.” I ridicule playfully. The taunting words escape my mouth with a slight giggle as his lips press down with a slight kiss on the crown of my head. His hands reach up my arms, landing on my shoulders with a gentle squeeze.

“I know, I know–” His chin rests on my head again as his hands rub up and down my arms. “--just still can’t believe it.” he mutters. I let out a breathy laugh, letting myself curl further into him. A hum vibrates in my mouth as his hands delicately rub my skin. 

“I, uh, I did have a question for you.” he says. I hum against him, smiling at his shy tone. “I know you said you were already coming to my game this week, but–uh…” his hands stutter along my skin, his words falling silent.

“Matt, what is it?” I ask. His arms move back up along my arms, squeezing gently on my shoulders.

“I know I don’t own you–I want you to know that. I’d never make you–” My eyes widen at his words. I shift my head toward the side, looking up at his quickly shifting gaze that floats across my nearly barren room. 

“Matt, you’re freaking me out here.” I warn. He shakes his head, swallowing thickly. His pale blue eyes gleam down into mine with uncertainty. 

“Could you–do you want to wear my jersey to the game?” He breathes out quickly. His fast moving lips give me no chance to respond as I watch him avert his eyes from mine, dancing along the empty walls. 

“--I…you don’t have to. I know I don’t own you, I don’t want you to think that I think that. I don’t—really. I just, I’d really like–” his anxious rambling makes my lips quiver as I attempt to hold back a smile. 

“Matt,” his eyes flicker to mine. I lift my head up, placing a swift kiss onto his lips before leaning back in his hold. “--I’d love to.” I admit. His eyes light up as he leans his face against the top of my head. 

“Really?” he quips. I nod my head at his pure excitement. He hugs me tighter against him, swaying me in the hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chants. 

My cheeks begin to ache from the muscle strain of smiling for so long. For some reason, the realization makes my lips tug even more. I let my lips fall into a resting position as he hugs me close. 

“I brought it with me!” he cheers. He leans down, balancing me on the bed as he grabs his bag off of the floor. He pulls out a gray, blue, and red jersey. He holds it up. 

“It has my number,” the number four is lettered in bold across both the front and the back as he flips the jersey around. “--and it has my name.” His last name is printed above the number on the back. 

I smile, resisting the urge to reach out for the jersey as he lets the material fall into my lap. I feel his eyes burning into me as my cheeks begin to blush. I whip my head around, coming face to face as his breath hovers over my lips. 

“You think my nails are dry yet?” The intense staring contest is broken by my question. He takes my hands, pulling them up to his face as he gently presses down on my nail bed. 

“Hmm…almost, but not yet. What’s up? Do you need me to grab something?” he asks. I shake, prodding my tongue in the side of my cheek. He tilts his head to the side with a curious smile. “--what are you plotting in that pretty little head, hm?” he teases. 

I lick over my lips, watching as he struggles to keep his eyes trained on mine from the subtle action. The warmth of his touch increases as his breath comes out shakily. His grip falls to my hips as his fingers clasp securely with a strong hold. 

“Well,” I exaggerate, watching as his eyes squint further down on me. “--I was gonna try on the jersey–” his lips tug into an endearing smile. “--but, looks like you’ll just have to wait to see it on me.” I taunt. 

I laugh, watching the smile disappear from his lips as he gives me a blank stare. “Noooo! Don’t be sad–you’ll see it on me soon! Friday is literally tomorrow, Matt.” I point out. 

He nods his head as his cheeks fight back the smile that grows onto his face. I bite the inside of my cheek watching him struggle to keep his composure. He makes me feel like a prize, he makes me feel special—he makes me feel wanted. 

The whole idea of him made me so happy. Sunny skies clear of any clouds. But, my dad played into the scene with a subtle cloud that was so small it seemed unnoticeable. 

Until the cloud of him pushed to the front of my thoughts, blocking over the sun. 

If I wasn’t even enough for my own father–why would I be enough for him? Was it only a matter of time before his gentle hands started to become rougher with me?

‘Too good to be true’ loomed over my mind in a chant with every movement I let my thoughts wander. I had only ever been shown I ruin things. 

I wanted to hold him tightly in my clasp like an irreplaceable glass sculpture. But, another part of me was screaming to put him down on the shelf. Look, don’t touch–so I could appreciate him, even fantasize about what it would be like to have him–but in that case, I couldn’t accidentally drop him. 

After all, I was horribly clumsy. My feet tripped over cement like rocks tumbling down a hill. My words fell from my mouth in jumbled sentences that didn’t always make sense. 

My intentions always seemed trapped with me, under a fortress of a fallen castle. Heavy bricks, heavy stones. I would try to reach out and build the castle, only–I was always applying too much weight in the wrong area. The colossal buildings herded down on me with every attempt I could recall. 

Most attempts had always revolved around my dad. I had given up trying to help a long time ago. I came to learn that all I ever did was make things worse at an age so early, I couldn’t even remember it. 

I tried to throw out his bottles. I tried talking to him. I tried bonding with him. 

I didn’t mean to ‘set back’ his progress. I just wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to be a part of his life–something that mattered to him. 

“--whatcha thinkin’ about so hard?” Matt’s voice brings me back to the near-empty room. I glance over the walls, the scratched and worn beige paint on the walls making my chest feel heavier. 

“I like your room better.” I breathe out. I feel Matt’s chest rumble with a chuckle from behind me as his thumbs trace circle through the fabric of my, well–his, shirt on my hips. 

“Yeah?” he remarks. I nod my head against him. “--well, I’m not gonna lie. My bed is a lot comfier–and spacious, but I kinda like having you be this close.” he whispers into my hair. His hot breath against my scalp on the crown of my head sends a crawling sensation down my ears and shoulders. 

“That’s not even it, I just,” I let out a heavy breath. “--your room is so…home-y? I don’t know how to word it.” I say. 

His hands squeeze up to my waist. “Mr. Puggles really adds to my aesthetic, huh?” he teases. 

I bite my tongue as a playful laugh leaves my lips. “Yeah, actually.” I remark. I feel his chest heave with a soft sigh from behind me as he pulls me closer to him. 

His cheek nuzzles against the back of my head as I hear him huff. “What’s that for?” I question. 

His soft voice meets my ear, “you’re not close enough.” he whines out. I struggle to hold back a laugh as I suck my lips in between my teeth. 

Looking down in my lap, I notice the pile of jersey material. I grin as I relish on the new idea. 

“Matt?” I ask. 

His lips move against the back of my head with a soft kiss. “What, baby?” The name rolls off his tongue with such ease that it makes my stomach flutter. 

I run my tongue over my lips as I try to form a sentence. My mind stutters, being completely consumed in him as I feel his hands grip me closer to him. 

I lean up from his embrace, but his palm presses down with urgency. The neediness of his grasp sent heart clenching warmth throughout my entire body. 

“Matt.” I laugh. He shakes his head, gurgling sounds of defiance as I try to sit up, only to have his arms enclose tighter around me. 

Huffing in defeat, I hold back a grin. “Guess I won’t let you put the jersey on now.” I mutter. 

I choke back a laugh as his head whips around in less than a second. “What? NO–here, let just…” he trails off, helping me sit up as he stands up beside the bed. I press down on the shiny green paint on my nails, smiling as the paint stays perfectly in place from the light touch. 

“They’re dry,” I see his face falter slightly as he grabs the jersey in his grip. “--but can you still help me?” I suggest. He nods with a shy smile, bunching up the shirt to fit it over my head. 

In one swift movement, he pulls the jersey over my head. The neckline of the T-shirt on my body pokes out from how baggy the jersey is. “Can you take off the shirt from underneath actually?” I say. 

His wide eyes glance at me with a soft nod. He pulls the bunched up fabric from my waist and tugs it over my head. His hand shakily reaches out for the hem of the T-shirt. His eyes reach mine, raised as his forehead creases.

“Is this okay?” he asks. The care in his voice is heavily apparent as he searches my eyes for any hesitation. I give him a curt nod, lifting my arms as he takes off the article of clothing. 

I sit on the bed in front of him with just a thin cotton bra covering my chest. His eyes flicker around the room as I watch his cheeks paint themselves with a red hue. 

“You good there?” I tease. He shakes his head incredulously with a tight line of his lips. He slips the large jersey over my head. The fabric pools at my hips on the bed. 

“Shut up.” he mutters. I bring my hand up to his cheek, squeezing the pink skin as he scrunches up his nose. 

“--it’s okay. I’m all yours, remember?” I retorted. He tries to hold the smile back, failing miserably as I drop my hands to his chest. 

“How could I forget?” he taunts. The smirk grows on his face as he reaches a hand up, ruffling my hair. I let out a small gasp, feeling the now frizzy hair reaching out in various directions. 

“Matt!” I whine. He laughs lightly, soothing his flat palms over my hair as he combs through the mess. “--’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he says. I playfully glare up at him before an idea flounders into my head. 

_

Matt had left from my house for hockey practice only minutes before I heard the front door open. I listened to my dad’s heavy steps thud on the wooden floor from downstairs. 

The first attempts at trying to talk to him didn’t go great–or even good for that matter. The sinking anchor of disappointment bellowed in my stomach from the interaction. 

I clench Matt’s jersey into my hands, clinging onto the soft material. My dad’s words still echoed in my mind. 

Although my heart still felt heavy, I couldn’t even stomach the thought of giving up hope on him. I still remembered my dad–the man who helped my sick mom stir cake batter at ungodly hours of the night, just to be there for her. 

He was a shell of a man before she passed. He gradually faded into a stranger. I couldn’t remember all the sweet moments we had shared–but, I did remember that they were there. 

I remembered him crying into a pillow when I peeked into his room as a kid. He was as broken as I was. 

I barely even remembered my mom. I longed for the ghost of a memory. He had lived years along her side. He lost someone. He lost his wife. He lost the person he cried over for endless nights.

I lost a memory. I lost a shadow of a mother. I couldn’t even remember a time where she didn’t have deathly pale skin. I didn’t even know her. 

The journal on my nightstand mocked me. The closed book veiled over words of a woman that I couldn’t even recall how she spoke. It felt personal–too invasive for someone I didn’t even know better than a stranger practically. 

With a heavy sigh, I stand from my bed. I may have lost her, but I didn’t want to lose him too. 

My feet patter on the ground with soft steps as I make my way down the stairs. As soon as I round the corner, I come face to face with a saddening sight. 

My dad sits on the couch, his elbows propped on his knees and his face buried in his hands. I clear my throat, clasping my hands behind my back. He slowly huffs, bringing his face upward as his eyes meet mine. 

“How–”

He holds up a hand as my lips seal tightly. “Kid–I just, I really can’t.” he huffs out. I clench my hands in each other as I bite my tongue, nodding as I stare at the floor. 

“It’s just, it’s been a really rough day and I–”

“I have rough days too, you know.” I interject. I hear him sigh. I watch as his hands reach in his pockets, pulling out a cigarette. “--I want you to get better. I really do–but I don’t even feel like I know you.” my words fall from my mouth like acid rain. 

“Kid, I-” he pinches the bridge of his nose. “--I’ll come up to your room to talk in a minute, okay?” he says. 

My feet shift on the ground with surprise as I let my hands bundle up the sleeves of the shirt by my sides. “Oh…okay.” I mutter. 

My feet pivot on the wooden flooring as I drag my weight up the stairs. The door creaks as I gently push it semi-closed.

Please, don’t make me wait forever.

I sat on the edge of my bed, combing my fingers through my scalp. My head begins to ache from the overwhelming thoughts. 

He’s coming up to talk to me–he’s trying. I just wish he didn’t make it sound like such a chore. 

A few minutes pass before I hear the footsteps pattering up the stairs. My door that is slightly ajar pushes open with a knock. He stands hesitantly at the doorway, a cigarette in his hand. 

The smoke clouds in my room as I cough from the overbearing smell. “M’sorry–do you want to talk outside? I just, I really need this right now, kid.” he says. 

I shake my head as I push myself up from my bed. Standing, I make my way over to my window, sliding the janky pane of glass upwards as it resists moving. “--it’s fine. I’ll just,” I hiss, feeling the sting on my scalp. I look up, seeing a couple strands of hair caught in the window. 

I tug on the hairs, wincing at the sting from the pricks on my scalp. Letting out a breath of relief, I smooth my hair down before collecting it all on one side of my chest. 

I turn around to be met with my dad’s wide eyes. His steps stride towards me with an urge. His hand knots in the fabric on my shoulder, tugging the jersey. “What the fuck is this?” he asks. 

I pull the material from his hands, confusion flooding my system as I read the pure rage on his face. “I–what? Dad, it’s Matt’s jersey. I was going to his–” 

“Sturniolo? He’s a fucking Sturniolo?” he spits. I nod my head hesitantly, swallowing thickly at his angry words. “No, why the fuck are you wearing this? Take this shit off right now!” he urges. 

He yanks at the material before throwing his hand through his hair and puffing out another breath of smoke. I cough, turning towards the window to find relief from the fresh air. 

“He’s,” the words get stuck as I cough out. “--he’s my boyfriend, dad. I know you had a falling out with his dad–”

“You know that and you didn’t think to fucking tell me?!” he yells. My hands grasp onto the window sill as my vision gets blurred from tears clouding in my eyes. 

“It’s not like we fucking talk, dad.” I say bitterly. I hear his heavy breathing from behind me stop. 

“What is that–why do you have this?” I turn around, seeing the leather journal clasped in his hands. Fuck. I panic, turning back towards the window, squinting my eyes shut. Please, just let this be a bad dream. Please. 

The sudden clang of the window glass makes my eyes dart open. My dad’s hand slammed onto the window, the loud shutter of movement makes the glass pane fall from its open position. 

I don’t have time to react before I feel the throbbing pain in my hands. A broken gasp escapes my lips as I hurriedly tug my hands out from under the window and to my chest. 

“Do you just not want me to get fucking better? I’m trying—I’m trying for you. I–” his voice breaks as I hear his steps travel from behind me. I hear the creek of my bed, grasping onto my throbbing hands, desperately holding back cries of pain. 

“I’m sorry, kid. Are your hands okay? I didn’t mean to–it’s just, god, you don’t understand…” he mutters. I slowly turn around, seeing him sitting on the edge of my bed, staring down at the journal in his grasp. 

As his head turns up to me, I see the wet tear stains on his cheek. He’s crying. 

“I’m trying so hard, I promise. I need you to help me, Y/n.” I feel my heart ache as his voice cracks. “--I can’t have you with him, I can’t have you reading this.” he says, waving the book in his hand before setting it back down on his lap with a loud sigh. 

My head throbbing and my hands aching in pain don’t compare to the shattering collapse of my heart ripping from my chest. The nausea crawls up in waves as I can practically feel my heart in my throat. 

He’s trying. He’s trying for me. He’s finally getting better. I can’t give up on him. 

Why now? Why when I find things that make life seem a bit better? 

My conflicting thoughts create a bellowing pit in my gut. I can’t give up on him, he’s all I’ve ever had. 

He looks up at me, placing the journal to the side before standing up. His arms spread open before tugging me into his arms. I freeze at the sudden notion. 

He’s hugging me.

All I had prayed for–endless nights upon endless years, was in front of me. He was trying for me. He was hugging me. 

I let my arms tie around his waist despite the stinging burn in my hands. “Please–don’t give up on me, kid.” he cries out. 

“I won’t.” I whisper out.

I can’t. 

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, head (fem!receiving), fingering, kissing, matt being a hot ass bitch

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 10: Make You Mine

Thick fabric shielded my hands from the dirt and grime of helping Marylou with her spring gardening. The soil bag leaning on the center table, nearly empty as freshly potted plants surrounded the side-tables of the greenhouse. 

The cracked windows of the quaint structure allowed for the afternoon breeze to flow freely. The scent of fresh air clouded my nostrils, allowing me to greedily breathe in the scent. 

“They’ll all start blooming in no time!” Marylou cheers. She snips open the plant food bag on the center table. Her floral gloves reach into the bag, taking a heaping scoop of the brown material. “Thanks for your help, the boys aren’t big on gardening with me.” she adds. 

I give her a smile as I watch her walk around the greenhouse. She sprinkles the brown crumbles of plant food on each filled pot in an even layer. 

“Anytime, I had fun.” I remark. I set my gloved-hands on the center table, folding the soil bag closed.

“How’s my boy treatin’ ya?” she asks. My shoulders clench with nerves as I run my fingers along the wooden top of the table. 

“Matt’s very sweet.” I say softly. My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I watch as she claps her hands together, dust flying off the floral gloves. She peels each glove off of her hands carefully with her fingers. “He's just–he's very sweet.” I repeat. 

I follow her actions, removing the thick material covering my hands. I lay the gloves on the table before stretching my clammy hand in the cool spring air. I let my eyes wander down. My lips pull down into a slight pout as I see the blue paint chipping away at the tips of my nails. 

“He’s just like his father, isn’t he?” she quips. A light laugh escapes her lips. The word ‘father’ falling from her mouth makes my stomach clench with anxiety. 

I let my sweat ridden hands fall to my sides as I wipe the dampness on the sides of my hips. The denim soaks in the light layer of sweat. 

“Ya know,” she takes the folded soil bag from in front of me, bending down and placing it on a low shelf. “--it’s a very small world.” she retorts. She stands back up, placing her hands on the side of the dirty table. 

“When you showed me that picture of you as a kid, I knew I recognized you. George is your dad, right?” she asks. 

My nails grip in my palms, the crescent shape stinging with a pronounced pressure. I take a deep breath, unclenching my hands. I let my fingers lay on the wooden top of the table, looking down and analyzing the dirt hidden within the cracks of the dry wood. 

“Um, yeah.” I replied. I keep my eyes glued to the table, picking the dirt out from underneath my blue nails. A slight sting makes me flinch. I flip the finger over, seeing the irritated redness pulsing in between the crease of my nail and skin. 

“Jimmy and him actually went to high school together. Along with Bethany.” I flinch at the name. My eyes squinting shut as I take a deep breath. When’s the last time I heard my mother’s name? 

“I heard of her passing from a friend, that must’ve been hard being so young.” My eyes flicker open at the sudden brush of her hand grazing my arm. Her hand squeezes comfortingly and I let a heavy breath fall from my lips. 

“When Jimmy told me George was at the work meeting with him--I finally connected the dots.” she adds. My eyes bulge in surprise as I look over at her. “--they work together?” I say. 

Her head bobs up and down. “Yup! They haven’t quite returned to being buds again–but I’m sure they’ll be watching football together soon, just like old times.” she says. The reminiscent smile on her face reaches to a far depth in my mind, pulling out the recent events that I had been willing myself to forget. 

Fuck football. What the hell was so interesting about the stupid sport?

My head sways down towards my shoulder as I swallow thickly. Her hand on my bicep falls back onto the table, slapping down on the wood softly.

“My home is always open to you, okay? Jimmy and him may have had a falling out all those years ago, but you’re a sweet girl.” she says.

A falling out? 

I let my face contort into confusion before returning to a neutral expression as her eyes meet my face. She reaches up, placing a hand on my shoulder with a tight squeeze. “--come over anytime. Hang out with the boys, help me garden–anything. My door is always open. Got it?” she asks. 

I nod at her kind words. “Got it.” I repeat. Her hand pats on my shoulder gently, a touch soft, yet affirmative. A wave of relief and confusion washes in my mind. 

I was grateful for the added assurance of her home being a safe getaway. I hadn’t slept over again since the day I had tried to talk to my dad. Matt had assured me time and time again that it was fine–but I didn’t want to linger too long in their home. Her sincere words made the rush of anxiety silent, a quiet peace bringing few thoughts in my mind. 

Why did my dad and Jimmy have a ‘falling’ out? 

_

Matt had waited impatiently for me to be done gardening with his mother. As soon as I had knocked on his bedroom door, he had pulled me into his arms within seconds. I happily accepted his embrace. 

He buried his face in the crook of my neck with a heavy inhale. I push him back by the chest, laughing at his offended expression covering his face. “I probably smell like dirt.” I point out. 

He shakes his head swiftly, pulling my hand in his own. I furrow my eyebrows with confusion as he walks, pulling me behind his steps as I follow mindlessly. “Here,” he grabs me by the shoulders, pushing me down as I plop down on the brown comforter. 

“Now,” his hand reaches towards his nightstand. He grabs the cologne bottle, twisting off the top before turning the spray mechanism towards me. "Problem sol--"

I cut off his sentence, placing my hand in front of the nozzle. “Matt–no. That’s yours.” I remark. He shrugs his shoulders, pulling my hand back. I hear the spray, smelling pine and spices “What’s mine, is yours. I mean–look at you.” I hear him chuckle lightly as a blush coats my cheeks with a tingling warmth. 

“Hey!” I playfully push against his stomach. He laughs, clutching his hand over mine as he sets the bottle back onto his nightstand. “--I was wearing my own clothes when I came over, you made me change.” I point out. 

His small laughs echo through the small room. The sun beaming in through the window with a golden glow. He pulls my hand up to his lips, kissing through his giggles. “I know, I know. I’m just teasing.” he says. 

I shake my head with a growing smile. The room falls silent with a tense aura. The peaceful quiet clouding with sounds of his lips pressing against my hand with soft kisses. 

“I really like you.” he whispers against my hand. I look up at him through my lashes, see his lips frozen into a soft smile. “I really, really like you.” he continues. 

I hum in content, letting his lips kiss further up my arm. “How much?” I tease. His eyes flicker to mine with a shy blush covering his cheeks.

“A lot, trust me.” He whispers under his breath. “Want me to show you?” he offers. His sweet tone makes my stomach swarm with a warming excitement as I nod my head firmly. 

“Show me.” I quip. 

_

The walk on the familiar path was peaceful. The comfortable silence consumed the air as anticipation filled my mind. Our feet scuffled along the dirt until he guided me onto the grass. 

As he pulled me to the familiar tree, my feet stammered on the ground with hesitation. The familiar branches tauntingly swaying in the light breeze, making a lump form in my throat as I try to swallow. 

“Do you trust me?” I nod without hesitation at his question. His lips curl into a smile before he squeezes my hand tightly. “Close your eyes for me, okay?” I let my eyes fall shut as his hand wrapped around my back, pulling me into his side with a secure hold on my waist. 

The closeness of our bodies envelopes from my neck up in a warm flush. I let my feet stumble as he guides me forward, gripping onto his shirt with a tight fist. I hear the rustle of the familiar willow branches. My grip automatically bunches up his shirt more in my hand as my breath hitches with anxiety. 

“Trust me.” he whispers. My breath falls from my lips as my lip quivers slightly. I’m fucking nervous. The wound had healed from on my arm a couple of days ago, but the itching sensation on my arm reminded me of the stupid splinter. 

“Just take a couple steps forward for me, okay?” My feet feel embedded into the grass beneath me. I make no movement to step forward. I feel his hand rub on the small of my back, applying the slightest bit of pressure. 

“I got you–don’t worry.” he voices. I finally feel one of my feet lift and step forward. His hand on my back soothing my nerves as I let my mind build up courage. 

He’s never not caught me before–I’m safe with him. The thought of a splinter doesn’t even scare me nearly as much with him holding me. 

My body echoes my thoughts as my other foot places a step in front of the other one. “One more step, come on.” he encourages with a soft tone. My foot feels lighter as I step forward nearly effortlessly. He makes it so easy. 

I hear the branches fall from behind me. The heat of his chest radiates onto my back, the scent of pine and spices becoming even more potent. I feel him shift from behind me, a sudden fan of his breath sending shots of electricity to my fingertips. 

“Look,” he whispers. I let my eyes flutter open. The rough tree trunk stands sturdily in front of me. The curtain of willow branches blocks some of the golden sunlight. I let my eyes wander down the trunk of the tree. 

BE MINE? 

The carved letters are inside of a heart shape. The rough marks hammered in the tree with deep, sharp lines. My weight falls back onto his chest as his arms cage around me. 

“I wanna be able to call you mine, Y/n.” he whispers against my ear. My heart pulses with excitement. I turn my head, meeting his gaze as he stands crouched down to my ear. 

“What do you say, hm?” he pushes. I let the smile form on my lips with a frantic nod of my head. I turn myself in his arms, placing my hands on the tops of his shoulders in a swift notion. 

“I’m all yours, Matt.” I breathe out. His eyes gleam down at mine with a genuine sincerity. His lips curl into a grin as his eyes squint with adoration. “I mean–look at me.” I joke. 

I feel his shoulder vibrate under my hands with a rumble of his laughter. “I know, you look perfect.” he says. His hands cage around me tighter, pulling my chest against his as my hands grip onto his shoulders tighter. “--wearing my clothes, with my cologne on you.” he adds. 

I shake my head in amusement, rubbing my hands down on his chest. “You like it that much, huh?” I tease. He nods eagerly, making the giggle slip from my lips effortlessly. 

“You wanna know what I really like, Matt?” I ask. His eyes gleam down at mine with a dazzling haze. I pull myself up with my hands on his shoulders, standing on my toes as I graze my lips against his ears. 

His hands squirm to my waist desperately as I plant a soft kiss along the rim of his ear lobe. His grip tightens as I run my nose down his jawline. I trail my way back up to his ear, his shaky breath stammering out of his mouth. 

“I really like you. I like your soft hair, your gentle hands, and I love–” I let my feet plant themselves flat on the ground. His eyes are shut with a blissed-out look across his face. My hand wanders up to his chin, his pupils dilating as his eyes meet mine once more.

“--I love being yours.” I finish, brushing his hair on the side of his head. His throat bobs with a large gulp. “Really?” He breathes out. I nod my head, smoothing the shirt on his chest. “Really.” I add. 

His eyes fall to my lips evidently as I observe his tongue lick over his bottom lip. The needy action sends shocks of blissful desire to my gut. “Can I kiss you?” he asks. He looks at me for permission.

“I’m yours, Matt–kiss me like I’m yours.” I announce. His actions hold no hesitation. He leans down, his lips meeting mine with a fulfilling surge of happy emotions. 

I taste the subtle hint of my mint chapstick on our lips synchronizing together. His heartbeat pulses beneath my palms on his chest, curating at a quick pace. My skin crawls with the sensation of his desperate lips devouring mine, his tongue slipping between my lips with ease. 

His tongue darting between my lips makes my knees buckle slightly. I reach around, threading my hand in his hair. His arms embracing me made me hostage to the pleasurable sensation. 

I tilt my chin upward, chasing his lips as our chests heave against each other. The kiss breaks for only a second as I gasp for air. His lips fall back onto mine with desperation and need as his hands grip tighter and tighter around my waist. 

It’s intoxicating the way his lips feel against mine. Air seems secondary to the thrill of his tongue exploring my mouth. I let my teeth clamp down teasingly on his bottom lip. The vibration of his soft groan makes my fingers gasp harder into his hair as my stomach erupts with butterflies. 

“Fuck.” he mutters. His lips trail down to my neck with an urgency. The wet smacks of his mouth sounding as a damp sensation of his lingering kiss makes me shiver in his hold. “--can’t get enough of you.” he mumbles against my neck. 

The statement rolls down my body with delight, gathering in the pit of my stomach with pure lust. “Good thing I’m yours then, huh? I remark breathlessly. He hums against my neck, my pulse under the vibration of his lips. 

Fuck, I need more–I need him. “Matt,” I whisper out. He hums mindlessly, his lips devouring the skin on my neck with sloppy kisses. “Matt, we’re outside!” I point out. A laugh slips from my lips as he grunts, refusing to stop his lips from sucking on my collarbone lightly. 

“Matt!” I exclaim. I push at his chest, his lustful eyes pleading silently. His lips are slightly swollen and more flushed. The sight of his parted lips panting makes my mouth salivate. 

“Please? You’re mine, right?” he argues. My head sways from left to right as I lean my forehead onto his chest. The laughter slips from my mouth as his hand cradles the back of my head. 

“Let’s go inside, Matt.” I direct. I pull away, seeing a slight pout of his face before he nods his head begrudgingly. “--this was so sweet, thank you.” I voice. He gives me a small smile as I cup his cheek with my hand. 

“I wanted to make you feel special, you deserve it.” he says. My heart swells at the man in front of me. His rough, calloused hands enclosed around mine in a gentle manner as the silk worlds fall from his lips like honey. 

“Why don’t you take me inside and make me feel more special?” I taunt. His eyes practically bulge from his head. His feet make quick movements as he lifts up the array of willow branches. 

I walk underneath, my feet barely coming to a halt as he tugs me by the hand. “Wait–Matt!” I exclaim. The dirt dusts beneath our feet from the scurried pace. 

We come to the sliding back door as he swiftly nudges it open. The golden hue of the sky falls to a darker shade with each passing second.

 “Come on.” he says. He shuts the door behind us, tugging me again until he pushes me into his room. The slight nudge makes me fall on my back, flat on the soft comforter of his bed. 

I hear him kick the door shut softly, a click of the lock making my skin crawl with excitement. He turns around with lust filled eyes. My chest heaves up and down with dramatic movements as I attempt to catch my breath. I lift myself up by my elbows as he stalks towards the end of the bed. 

He inserts his leg between mine, propping his knee up as he hovers over me. The silver horse chain dangles slightly from his neck. I look up at him, his eyes clouded with desire. I let my eyes flutter close as his soft lips graze mine. 

The soft peck returns with more passion, more lust. The energy of his movement curates a thick tension that weighs on the pit of my stomach as heat builds in between my legs. I intertwine my hands into his hair, tugging at the roots. 

I smile at the minty collision of our lips against each other. The perfect unison leaves me breathless, my lungs screaming for air. I break the kiss as his lips hungrily trace their way back onto my neck. I feel his teeth clamp down on the skin, a feeling so pleasurable my mind nearly goes completely blank. 

“Matt,” I pant out heavily, pushing down on his shoulder. “--don’t leave marks, my dad will see.” I direct. His suction breaks from my neck with a groan of frustration falling from his lips. His wet kisses travel down, beneath my collarbone. 

“Guess I’ll just have to put them where he can’t see, hm?” he voices. His tongue brushes against the underside of my collarbone. The air sticking to the damp skin, the cool sensation making my hands scratch lightly on his scalp. 

“Can I?” he asks. His fingers are brushing against my stomach, looped around the hem of the sweatshirt on me. I reach down, placing my hand on top of his. Our eyes met, his lips parted with heavy breaths falling out of his mouth. 

“I’m yours, aren’t I?” I remark. I guide his hand with my own, dragging the material over my chest. I slip my arms out of the sleeve, quickly discarding the material somewhere on his floor. I watch as his eyes trail up and down my body. 

“Fuck.” he whispers. He leans down, a sloppy line of kisses making a path up my stomach and stopping right beneath my breast. His hand reaches out, clasping around my ribcage, his tight hold grazing the bottom of my bra. “--so perfect.” he mumbles. 

His bottom half rests in between my legs, his lower stomach pressing against the heat scorching radiating off where I longed for his touch the most . The pressure against me makes my hips swivel subconsciously in the slightest, searching for a getaway of relief from the building tension. A soft moan escapes my mouth. 

The wet sensation of his lips kissing the tops of my breasts makes my racing heart beat echo in my ears. The sloppy sounds of his mouth against my skin filling the room. 

My hips grind mindlessly onto his lower abdomen. I feel his tongue linger down my stomach, stopping at the hem of my baggy jeans. His fingers dance fervently on the material. I bring my hand down, guiding his hand until I feel the cold metal button. 

“Are you sure?” he voices. I swallow thickly, the overwhelming stir of emotions unraveling with anticipation. 

“Touch me.” I croak. I feel the jeans come looser at the sound of a zipper. I lift my hips as he pulls the material down my legs. 

The cool air doesn’t affect my burning skin. I hear the jeans being tossed carelessly onto the floor as his hands wrap around my ankles.

In one swift movement, he pulls me to the edge of the bed. His nose grazes up my leg, stopping as he lifts them onto his shoulders. The feeling of his breath fanning on my inner thigh makes me squirm into the bed. His hands wrap around the underside of my thighs, pushing my hips into the soft mattress.

“--can’t tell if I wanna taste you,” he trails off, letting his lips smother my thigh with his saliva with soft kisses. “--or if I want you to struggle kissing me back while I stretch you with my fingers.” he finishes.

The sinful words fall from his lips with a raspy voice. My gut coils with an undefinable desire. His hands gripping at my hips dig tighter as my hips swivel in search of relief. “Think I’ll do both, yeah?” he rasps out. 

A sudden press of his lips against my clit through my underwear makes my back arch off the bed with a jolt. My hands tug at the roots of his hair as he hums against me. 

His hands move to the hem of my underwear. I lift my hips, hearing him let out a chuckle at the desperate action. The fabric slides down slowly. I look up at him, his eyes gleaming down to mine with a savoring look. 

I feel the fabric slide off completely from my body. The cold air brushing against my wet folds as he pulls my legs back onto his shoulders. His hands make their way up the outer sides of my thighs, hooking his fingers back onto my writhing hips. 

“Try to be quiet, okay?” I mumble a quick hum, immediately gasping at his teeth biting gently into the soft skin of my thigh. His lips envelope around with a wet suction, sucking gently. The sensation makes my gut clenches at the pleasure. 

My head digs itself in the soft pillowy comforter as my mouth hangs wide open. I grasp onto his hair, willing myself to stay silent desperately. He trails his tongue upward, stopping right below my wet folds. 

I prop myself up on my elbows, looking down as he suctions his cheeks inward. His eyes meet mine as his tongue darts out from his mouth. The drip of saliva meets my heat as I bite down on my bottom lip. 

His eyes stay trained on mine as his tongue meets my folds. A swift lick with the pink muscle sends my head flying back into the bed sheets. 

“Oh.” I moan. I bring one of my hands up, biting down on my fist as his tongue swirls around my heat. Pure satisfaction from the feeling of his devouring me. 

I feel the vibrations of his moans against me. My own moans are muffled by my hand, but get louder as I feel myself get lost in the paradise of his face between my legs. 

My other hand fists the sheets in a tight grip, darting to his hair as he sucks on my sensitive bud. A high-pitched moan escapes my lips as I feel him let out a soft laugh from beneath me. 

“Feels good, hm?” I nod breathlessly, swerving my hips against the bed. His hands unravel from my hips. “Matt, what are–” My words are cut off by his lips being placed on mine. 

He hovers above me as one of his hands trails down my sides. I move my mouth against his hungrily, the lingering touch of his fingertips creating a path of goosebumps. 

His hand passes beneath my belly button, the anticipation intensifying as I wrap my hands in his hair. Passion in our lips as the wet smacking sounds float in the room. 

My mouth falls open as his hand reaches into my folds. “Fucking perfect–so fucking perfect.” he grumbles out. His lips clash onto mine as I attempt to keep pace with him.

My movements fall short as his thumb circles around my sensitive bud. My hands fall to his shoulder, clutching the shirt on his skin. “Please–take this off.” I mumble. 

My hips shift subconsciously as he kneels on the bed. The shirt is thrown to the floor in one swift movement. Matt comes back down, trailing kisses up from my neck as his hand grips onto my jaw, titling the area for better access. 

His finger reattached to my swollen clit, a moan escaping my mouth fervently at the gratification. “Shh.” he mumbles under his breath. His lips plant back onto my own as I let myself chase his hand with my hips. 

The pure harmony of his movements curates a knot in my stomach as I feel the familiar sensation of tightening in my gut. My mouth falls open against his, his hand cradling around my head, pushing me into the crook of his neck.

“Matt.” I breathe out. My lips press against his bare shoulder, parting open at the heavenly pleasure. I feel a finger slip into me, my walls clenching hard as I adjust to the added sensation. 

“That’s it, relax for me, sweetheart.” he rasps. My chest arches into him as his heavy pants fan on the side of my head. I feel myself pull him in as he curves his finger upward. 

A sinful noise escapes my mouth before I react instinctively, letting my teeth clamp around his shoulder. “Fuck, keep doing that.” he mutters. 

He starts slowly thrusting into me, curling his finger to massage the spot that makes my gut clench with ecstasy. “Fuck, Matt, 'm feels so good.” I choke out. My mouth returns to his shoulder as I feel a sudden push of added pressure. 

“I know, baby, I know.” he coos. The stretch fills me with contentment and thrill as my hips grind on his hand. He curls the digits inside of me, focusing on massaging the spongy part of my walls that makes my breath hitch in my throat. 

“Fuck.” he groans out. I loosen my teeth from his shoulder, my head digging into the mattress as my muscles go stiff. 

“I’m gonna–” The words don’t escape my lips as my limbs tighten. Pleasure envelopes my entire body, sending me into an unforgettable high as his fingers move in sync with his thumb. 

Everything feels so good. His teeth are lightly biting down on my earlobe, soft groans spilling from his mouth as I dig my nails into his back helplessly. My mouth hangs open as I climb down my high, gasping for air as my body falls limp into the mattress. 

His head hangs in the crook of my neck as he slowly pulls his fingers out of my clenched walls. The squealing sound is barely heard over our gasping breaths. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. I nod breathlessly, as he pulls his weight off of me. My chest heaves as I slowly catch my breath. I feel the mattress shift from beneath me, opening my eyes to see him walking into his bathroom.

I pout at the distance. I hear the facet turn on. I push the hair sticking to my forehead back. 

The facet water halts as I hear his footsteps. My eyes meet his figure as he spreads my limp legs back open. The dampened, cold cloth makes me hiss from the sensitivity. “--’m sorry.” he mumbles. 

He drops my legs back carefully, setting the limb down softly on the mattress. I watch as he throws the cloth into his laundry hamper in his closet. As he turns back around, his eyes meet mine with flushed cheeks. 

“Can I–can I hold you?” he asks shyly. I can’t help but let the giggle fall from my lips at his switch in demeanor.

The bulge is apparent in his sweats as my eyes wander down. A tinge of sadness piles in my mind. He reaches down, holding out a shirt for me. I gasp onto the fabric, quickly pulling it over my head.

As my eyes search for him, he stands with my underwear in hand at my feet. I let him pull the garment up, lifting my hips as he guides the cotton fabric. 

“Is that a yes?” he asks. I feel a pout form on my lips. I nod with an uncertainty clouding over my emotions. The sudden high falling to a low pit of guilt.

“Hey,” he lays down next to me, his bare bare wrapping around my shoulders as he pulls me into his chest. “--what’s wrong?” he asks. 

My brain fogs with overwhelming emotions. “I…aren’t I supposed to give you something?” I voice with uncertainty. Matt pulls me back until my eyes meet his. 

“What?” he asks. He shakes his head as his lips form into a tight line. “Nope–no. It wasn’t transactional. I wasn’t doing it because I wanted something in return, that’s never gonna be the case.” he explains. 

I nod hesitantly as he caresses the side of my face with his hand delicately. “Now, let me hold my girlfriend.” he states proudly. 

The smile tugs on my lips as I let my head fall to his chest. His heartbeat hammers at a steady beat. His silk sheets don’t compare to his skin against mine. There’s nothing softer than his rough, calloused hands. 

@sturniolosmind @freshloveforthefit @gnxosblog @sturnreblog @milasturniolo @mattscokewhore @melanch0lybby @stars4matt @samandcolbyfan22 @ruedowney @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @greatooglymooglyyy

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, suggestive, kissing, parental neglect, men

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 9: Hot & Cold 

My skin was burning hot. I shifted uncomfortably, a groan sounding from above me. The sheets piled on top of me were not the problem��his warm skin pressed against the length of my body was the issue. 

“Matt.” I whine out, shaking his shoulder. His arms tighten around me, his body weight laying flat against my whole front. “Matt.” I voice again. His head lifts, turning to look at me with a sleepy haze clouding his eyes. 

“What?” he whispers out. I move my sweaty skin against his, shoving him off as I pull my legs out from the blankets. “What are you doing?” I hear him ask. 

I breathe in relief as the cool air embraces my skin. The sweat lightly coating my body creates an enhancement of cooling the sensation.

I feel the warmth of his soft comforter envelope over my body once more. My mind fogging with irritation as I let out heavy breath.

“You’ll get cold.” he voices. I gruff in frustration, kicking the comforter off with a swift motion of my leg. I reach to the hem of the sweatshirt, pulling it up high enough to only reveal my bare stomach. 

I sigh at the relieving sensation of the bitter air clinging to my flesh. “I’m hot, Matt.” I express. I feel his hand land on my stomach, his palm stretching out as the heat travels from his skin onto mine. 

“Matt,” I complained, pulling off his hand. “I’m sweating.” I voice. I look over, the pale moonlight filtering through the blinds. The silver glow illuminates on his face, allowing me to see the slight pout on his lips. 

“What time is it?” I ask. Matt sits up, reaching over to his nightstand. I see his phone screen glow. “It’s almost 5.” he answers. I huff out, pulling my hair off my neck and to the side. 

I feel him shift next to me, laying on his side. I look over, seeing him reach out before pausing. His hand falls short, landing on the mattress with a soft sigh. I look up, seeing the slight pout apparent on his face. 

“Matt, what’s wrong?” I ask. His eyes squint shut as he buries his face into the pillow. “I just…I wanna hold you,” he answers. His hand grips the silk sheets in a tight fist. The frustration is clear in his voice as he huffs into the pillow. 

I tighten my lips into a straight line. If only I wasn’t so used to being freezing cold. “Can I just give you a T-shirt?” he mumbles, looking at me with sad eyes. His gaze reminds me of a puppy, my stomach churning with fluttery excitement as I nod my head softly. 

He stretches out from the sheets, a yawn escaping his lips. He turns, his back facing me as he sits on the edge of the bed. My hand starts reaching out before I can think. My fingers land on his skin as his muscles relax beneath my touch. 

I draw figurines on his skin with my blue nails. He stays still, slightly faltering before catching himself. I tap on his back with a gentle pat. He hums, barely moving as my fingers continue the action. 

“Just lay down, Matt. I’m just gonna take the sweatshirt off.” He doesn’t respond. His body falls back onto the bed. I grab the hem of the sweatshirt, pulling it off my head as the air meets my skin with a gentle breeze. 

I throw the article of clothing to the floor, my body finally receiving full relief of the discomforting heat. My bra is still covering my breasts. The unlined, cotton fabric resting comfortably on my skin. 

Laying back down, the silk sheets were cool against my back. The sweat dries up against my skin as I hear soft snoring from next to me. I let my head fall to the side, seeing Matt’s lips parted slightly, his long lashes creating a shadow onto his cheeks. 

His eyes flutter open as he reaches out towards me. “Can I hold you now?” he asks. The desperation is clear in his voice, a slick and sweet tone that makes my heart flutter with adoration. 

I nod, watching as he lifts an arm. I scoot into his embrace, my face against his chest as my leg swings over his hips. His arm curls under my head, clinging me close to him as his fingers gently move against my back. His other arm rests on my leg that rests on top of him, his thumb moving back and forth. 

“So soft.” he mumbles with his eyes closed. I let my hands tangle upwards in his silky hair, letting my nails graze lightly against his scalp. 

He hums, his face nuzzling closer as his lips press against my forehead. He presses a gentle kiss, pulling me closer. My body relaxes into him as I let my lips kiss his chest softly. 

My eyes flutter closed with light touches, my hand going limp in his hair. 

_

I wake up to Matt shaking my shoulder lightly. Opening my eyes, the covers are pulled up and tucked under my chin. The soft silk fabric of his sheets against my skin makes me hum in delight as I stretch my limbs out before letting them fall back down. 

“We have to leave in an hour.” Matt states. I notice how our bodies are still tangled in the same position, my hand still limp in against his scalp. I hum against his chest, my hand moving in his hair once more as I appreciate his hands caressing my skin. 

“We need to get ready.” he continues, still not making a single movement to get up. I squint my eyes open, adjusting to the halo of morning light seeping in through the blinds. I smile up at him, watching as his lips tug into a lazy grin. 

“You’re really pretty.” He compliments. He brings his hand up from my thigh, caressing the side of my cheek with a delicate touch. I lean into his warm, calloused hand. I press my face further into his chest, landing a soft kiss right beneath his collar bone. 

I pull back, looking up to see his eyes closed with a blissed-out expression on his face. His eyes slowly open, looking down at me with a soft admiration. I let my eyes linger on his as a peaceful silence consumes us. 

As my thoughts become more coherent, my eyes widen with panic. “Fuck.” I let out. I pull myself up, leaning over him to grab my phone. His hands clasp around my waist as I reach and grab the device. 

I try to click on the home button, but the screen stays black. Great, it’s dead. Matt props himself up against the headboard, placing his hand over mine. “Hey,” I look up as his other hand grips my chin. “--what’s up?” he asks. 

I shake my head, trying to hold down the button to get it to turn on. “Come on.” I whisper towards the black screen. Matt pulls the device from my hands. “Let me plug it in.” he voices, pulling the charger from his phone and into mine. 

I rub my hands over my face as anxiety swarms my mind. “My dad, I didn’t tell my dad I wasn’t coming home last night. Fuck, Matt–” I let out a huff, running my hands through my hair, wincing as I pull on a knot. 

“Hey,” Matt reaches out, pulling my fingers out from the tangle and into his own. “--your phone will turn on in a minute, then you can explain to him. You’re fine, you’re safe, that’s what’s important to a parent.” he voices. 

I take a deep breath as he squeezes my hands. I stare at the black phone screen, willing it to turn on faster. His hand caresses the side of my face, his thumb brushing in gentle motions. I lean into the touch. “I just…I really don’t like being yelled at. What if he’s mad?” I ask. 

He tilts his head to the side while giving me a somber look. “It’s gonna be okay.” he reassures me. I nod at his words, letting the feeling of his hands around my own soothe my worries. 

I see my phone screen light up from the corner of my eye. I pull one of my hands out from his, reaching over and opening the device. I immediately opened the messages app, clicking on his contact. 

[From Dad: Do you have any extra cash?] 

I swipe on the message, reading the time stamp. It was sent only twenty minutes ago. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the message. My heart sinks in my chest. He noticed I was gone.

[To Dad: I have my babysitting money. Sorry I didn’t come home last night, I fell asleep at Matt’s house.] 

I type the words frantically, hitting send. My eyes are glued to the screen as I watch the text bubble form. My gut swells with anxiety as I anticipate his response. 

[From Dad: Can I borrow some cash? Johnny and I were gonna get tickets for the game tonight.]

He noticed--he just didn't care.

My heart slows down in my chest, a heavy weight piling on with an uncomfortable force. I feel Matt tap me, looking up to see his eyes trained on me with concern. “Are you okay? What did he say?” he asks. 

I shake my head, “Give me a minute, hold on.” I voice. My finger clank on the digital keyboard. 

[To Dad: Can you pay me back soon?] 

The text bubbles form before coming to a quick stop. 

[From Dad: Yeah, thanks.] 

I shut off the phone, throwing it on the comforter as it sinks into the pillowy material. Matt reaches out, grabbing my hands. “Hey, what’s up?” He asks. 

I shake my head, letting out a heavy sigh of disappointment. “I don’t know–I feel like I can’t even think right now, to be honest.” I voice. One of his hands detached from mine. I hear his nightstand drawers open and close before he pushes the familiar notebook in front of me. 

“Here,” he says. He pushes the pen into my hand, flipping to an empty page. “I’ll go make chocolate chip pancakes, you do this, okay?” I nod hesitantly as he gets out of the bed. 

I hear the soft thud of his door shutting, bringing my attention back to the blank paper. The words that come to my mind make me cringe with shame. I let the pen rest on the paper, ink piling up as I hesitate to write out the words. 

I wish you were drunk so you would have an excuse not to care. 

Seeing the words written out makes a lump develop in my throat. I swallow with discomfort, letting the pen draw on the page with more words. 

I wish I got to say goodbye to her.

I wish you would talk about her.

I wish you would talk to me. 

The pen stills in my hand before I pull it back, clicking the back of it before closing the notebook. The vulnerable words stare back at me with a haunting echo in the back of my mind. 

_

The mocking words chanted in my mind all day. The lingering thoughts looming over my shoulder with a heavy air. Matt didn’t push for answers. Instead, he pushed his phone over on the table in front of me. 

The childish cartoons of characters stared back at me as I dissociated. His hand lingered on me underneath the tables during Mrs. Evans first and fourth block class. When his hand didn’t linger–his eyes did. 

I didn’t feel uncomfortable under his stare, I felt cared for. The concern embarked on his face with a sullen expression. 

As soon as we walked through the front door of his house, he had immediately tugged me back up to his room. He had laid me down on his bed in between his legs, combing his hands through my hair with a gentle touch. 

“Tell me what’s going on.” he suggests. My lips open and close with a hesitation as I try to find the right words. 

“It’s okay, take your time.” he says in a soft voice. I clear my throat, leaning my head onto his thigh. I let out a deep sigh. 

“My dad…he doesn’t care, Matt.” I say. Matt’s hands stutter with their soft strokes before continuing to brush through my hair. “He–he just doesn’t care. I wish it was because of the alcohol–but it’s not.” My voice cracks as my vision blurs. 

I hear him let out a heavy sigh. “I just…I don’t know. I just feel awful.” I huff out. Matt brushes the hair away from my face. He leans over me, before adjusting his arms to cradle me. 

One arm looped under my knees, the other scooping my back into his chest. His lips press against my forehead as I suck in a shaky breath. “You don’t deserve it.” he whispers, looking into my eyes. 

The hot tear escapes, rolling down my cheek rushedly. “It doesn’t really feel like that.” I stammer out. The words spill from my quivering lips as I blink back tears. 

“Why do you think that?” He asks. I suck in a huff of air, sniffling. “He doesn’t talk to me, Matt. We don’t talk about anything. I don’t know anything about him and—” I choke on a breath before letting the words fall desperately out of my mouth. “--he doesn’t know anything about me.” 

His lips form into a tight line before his arms push me into his chest. I let my hand cling around the fabric of his shirt, the tears leaking down my face and wetting his shirt. 

I attempt to push back on his chest, but his arms keep me hostage in his comforting embrace. “I’m getting your shirt wet.” I point out. Matt rests his chin on top of my head. I feel him shake his head from side-to-side. “I don’t care.” He mentions. 

I sink into his touch further, sniffling as he pets the back of my head. “It’s just us–it’s just me. Let it all out.” he says. My heart crumbles at his words. The comforting tone in his voice escaped from his lips effortlessly. 

The tears continue rolling down my cheek and onto his shirt. I let myself fall limp in his arms, letting go of all control of my emotions as the flood seeps down my cheeks. He whispers soft shushes my ear, the only sound being my sniffles against his chest. 

I let the tears fall until they come to an eventual stop, hiccups escaping my lips. My chest tightens at each spasm. Matt reaches to his nightstand, placing his water bottle in front of my lips. 

I greedily gulp down the liquid, letting the water run down my throat. “Done?” he asks. I nod, letting him take the bottle and setting it back on the nightstand. 

“Can you…nevermind.” I shake off the thought, embarrassed by the request. “Can I…?” he repeats, urging me to finish the sentence. I fiddle with my hands against his chest, smoothing over the crinkled fabric that I had previously gripped tightly in my fists. 

“Come on, tell me.” My eyes stay trained on my hand against his chest until he places his own hand on top of mine. I look up, meeting his soft gaze. “Tell me, I want to help.” He voices. 

I analyze his face, looking for any hesitation. I find nothing but a focused and anticipating expression as he looks into my eyes with a subtle tug of his lips. I flicker my eyes down to his chest, nervously stumbling over my words. 

“I…Could you—could you take me to my house to talk to my dad? But–could you like, I don’t know…” I trail off, shaking my head. I feel his fingers push my chin upward until my eyes meet his. His pale blue orbs look into mine with certainty. 

“I’ll take you. I’ll wait in the car–or come in with you.” he says. A smile forms over his face, making his eyes squint at me with a sparkle of excitement. “--then, we can go on another date. How does that sound?” He finishes. 

My cheeks heat up as I bite the inside of my cheek nervously. I nod, scrunching my nose as he brushes the tip of his against mine. “Good, because I already had something in mind.” He retorts. 

I smiled at him. “Really?” I say. He nods his head with confidence. “Really.” He answers. 

_

I walked into the house with a purposeful, but hesitant stride. My arms crossed over one another and I let my hands glue to my side, hugging myself practically. I turn back around, Matt giving me a reassuring smile as he sits in the driver’s seat of his car. 

As I unlock the door, shouts are heard from inside the house. I swing open the door, listening to the familiar voice of my father. “--she sounds amazing. Women are so fucking ungrateful these days.” 

My heart clenches at his words. I walk around the corner, seeing their backs facing me as they chant at the TV screen.

“Go! Go! Go! YES!” They both scream in unison. I recognize the man next to him, Johnny. An envy swells in my gut as I watch the two of them both nudge one another. My dads smile is ear-to-ear, his fist pumping in the air with excitement. 

“Dad?” I voice. His head whips around as he gives me a slight wave, brushing me off. His smile falls once his eyes land on me. “Hey, kid.” He greets. 

“Could I um…could I talk to you real quick?” I ask hesitantly. His eyebrows furrow at me before he turns back around the screen. 

“Now's not really a good time–we’re about to go to the game here in a bit.” He slaps Johnny’s arm, grabbing his attention. “Ain’t your kid coming to pick us up soon?” he asks. 

Johnny glances down at his fancy watch. “Yeah, he’ll be here any minute.” he answers. 

I twiddle with my thumbs anxiously. “Could I just talk to you in the other room real quick? I won’t be long–Matt’s waiting for me outside.” I point out. He huffs, throwing down the remote onto the couch. “Give me one minute.” he tells Johnny.

He walks around the couch, walking past me and into the kitchen. I follow behind him, watching as he reaches into the fridge, pulling out a soda can. Since when did we have those? 

“What, kid?” he asks. He cracks open the can of soda, talking a large gulp while pushing the fridge door closed. 

I swallow thickly, clearing my throat. “I, um…” I shift on my feet uncomfortably as he stares down at me with a blank look. “--I just wanted to–” I stumble over the words with a hideous embarrassment. 

“Spit it out, I ain’t got long.” he remarks. I bite down on the inside of my cheek, flinching as my teeth dig into the soft flesh slightly. 

“I just, I want things to change, ya know?” I voice, looking up at his confused face. I shift my weight from each foot, rubbing my clammy palms on my stomach. “I want us to be closer–we never really talk, dad.” I point out. 

I watch as he takes another gulp of his drink. “What would we even talk about? What’s with all of this–this is a lot of pressure, kid.” he spits. His eyes are trained on his soda as he swirls the can around in his hand. He tilts the can back, chugging more of the drink. 

“I–” The honk of a horn catches my attention. 

“He’s here! Let’s go!” I hear Johnny yell. My dad slams down the hollow can on the counter, walking until his hand pats hard on my shoulder. 

“Listen, kid. I’m finally doing better. I really can’t handle anything messing that up. Help me out here, okay?” I nod at his question. He pats down his hand with an aggressive slap before dropping his arms by his side. 

I grab the area, soothing over the pain that erupts from the joint. His statement clouds over my mind as I hear the pair walk to the front door with rowdy laughter. 

“Lock the door after us, bye!” I hear him shout. 

My heart sinks with disappointment. Talking with him was suppose to make things better. I don’t feel better. 

The door slams shut as I stare at the couch. Various wrappers discarded on the cushions, some even piled on the floor. I reach down, picking up the wrappers and carrying them over to the trash can. 

I drop the trash into the bin, but my eyes falter on the sight in front of me. I recognized the old notebook from anywhere. A leather journal with a button closure on the front. Mom’s journal. 

I reach down, grabbing the worn leather book. I didn’t even know we had this, why would he throw it away? I dust off the book of various crumbs. My eyes wander from the trash and to the book. 

My feet guide me step-by-step to my room as I lay to book under my mattress. A piece of her. 

I had nothing–-not a single photograph, letter, or anything besides the blanket on my bed. When I came home to my childhood house after my mom died–the house was stripped down with cardboard boxes covering the floor. 

According to my dad, we had to ‘size down.’ I didn’t want to be stripped away from the house, but I knew it wasn’t a question. 

I didn’t really understand being so little. I didn’t understand why they all said mom was getting better, just for her to die a week later. I didn’t understand why ‘sizing down’ meant losing practically every piece of her that existed. 

The pictures disappeared as if they never existed. She disappeared as if she never existed. My dad never talked about her. Every time I even uttered something about her, I was met with rage. Like a dog, I felt myself comply with his emotions, steering clear of any mentions of her to keep the peace. 

I only had one blanket for myself, the knitted fabric that covered my body for years. I didn’t know if he hadn’t thrown it away because he didn’t remember she made it, or because he knew I simply couldn’t let it go. 

I clung to the small square of fabric as I got bigger. I held the material in my hands, brushing it against my face in hopes of remembering more of her. 

I feel my phone vibrate in my hand, looking down to see Matt’s contact. I decline the call, setting the mattress down softly on top of the book before climbing down the stairs quickly. 

I walk out the door, turning my keys in the lock. I turned around, seeing Matt leaned against his car with his phone in hand. He smiles up at me as I walk to him. I plant my feet in front of him before peering down at his phone. 

“Wanna catch it?” I nod my head, greedily taking the phone and tapping on the character. 

“Gotcha, bitch.” I remark at the phone. I hear him chuckle, looking up to see him shaking his head down at me. 

“Ready for our date?” he questions. I nod my head firmly. 

_

I had followed Matt around the shop like a lost puppy. He refused to tell me where we were going–but I wouldn’t have understood if he had anyhow. Rocket Fizz. The small shop had an array of candies and sweets, most of them being ones I had never even seen before. 

He walked down the isles, piling up items in his arms before checking out. He took the plastic bag in one hand before holding out an open palm to me. I set my hand in his as he squeezed firmly. 

“Ready to find ya favorites?” he asks. I nod my head hesitantly with a smile as  he drags me back to his car. 

_

We sat with his family at the dinner table as we all leaned back in our chairs, stuffed full with the warm food. His hand held mine underneath the table as his thumb soothed against the back of my palm. 

“I’m actually starting my garden this weekend.” My eyes shoot up to Marylou’s as she laughs at my reaction. “I take it that you’ll help me out?” I nod my head with excitement. “Perfect!” she says, clapping her hands together. 

She gets up from her chair as everyone follows the action. Matt takes my plate for me. “Thank you.” He presses a subtle kiss on the side of my head before walking over to the kitchen. 

When Matt comes back around the corner, he immediately picks up my hand. I laugh as he speed walks down the hall. He opens the door to his room, resting a hand on my shoulder as I walk into the room. 

Hearing the door shut softly, his other hand lands on my other shoulder. His hands slide down my arms until they rest on my hips. I feel his breath against my neck, looking over to see him crouched down to my level. 

My breath hitches as I feel his fingers glide over my hip bones, pulling me closer against his chest. “Ready, sweetheart?” My cheeks flush at the nickname as I nod my head. I hear his chest vibrate with chuckles from behind me before he walks over to his bed. 

He leans against the headboard, pulling the plastic bag in front of him. I move to my side of his bed, sitting criss-cross on the brown comforter. “Try this one, here.” I stick out my tongue for him, immediately regretting it as a sourness bites at my taste buds. 

I hear him laughing, looking up to see him hunched-over and clenching his gut. The sourness subsides as a tangy flavor takes over. “Not sour then, huh?” he teases. I shake my head with a disgruntled expression, watching his shoulders shake lightly as he reaches for another candy. 

He tears open the bag before holding a piece in front of my mouth. I look at him hesitantly as he grins down at me. “I promise it’s not sour–trust me.” he says. I squint my eyes at him before opening my mouth. 

The candy is chewy, a gummy that’s sweet and makes my mouth water. My eyes bulge from my head. “Good?” He asks. I furiously nod my head as he reaches back into the bag. He plops another piece into my mouth before putting one into his. 

“These–” he reaches into the bag, grabbing out an odd looking bottle. “--are sodas. It’s called Ramúne, there’s a couple different flavors, but watch,” I watch as he unwraps the blue seal around the cap, pulling the blue top off and breaking it. He flips the piece down into the top of the soda, a loud clunk catching my attention. 

“It’s this little marble-thing. They’re really good though, try.” I take the bottle from his hand, hesitantly titling the drink to spill in my mouth. The sweetness and carbonation catches me pleasantly surprised. 

_

“Matt, if I eat any more candy–I’m gonna be sick!” I joke. He nods, stuffing the various bags of candy back into the store bag and setting it on his nightstand. He gleams down at me with a smile. 

“Do I need to drive you home soon?” The smile on my lips falls as I shake my head. “Are you ready to tell me about it? Do you want to tell me about it?” I shake my head again, falling silent as I look at my lap. 

His hand comes into my vision, resting on my thigh. I flicker my eyes up, watching as he pats his lap. I crawl over on the bed, his hands coming on either side of my hips as I straddle him. “Come here,” he says. 

I let myself fall into the cage of his arms. His hand ravels into my hair, massaging my scalp as I bury my face in the crook of his neck. “Matt?” I hear him hum from above me. “I really like you. Thank you for all this.” I voice. 

His face turns until his eyes meet mine. His hand reaches out, holding up my chin with his fingers. I feel his thumb brush over my lips. “I really like you.” he responds. My stomach churns with fluttering excitement at his words. 

“Yeah?” I push. He nods with an affirmative motion. “Wanna see how much?” he challenges. I squint my eyes, cocking my head to the side in curiosity. 

“Well, let’s see,” he starts. “You like root beer, gummy bears–especially the red ones, strawberry soda, coloring, the colors blue and green, and…” he taps his chin jokingly. “--and you can’t forget the McDonalds ice cream,” he says proudly. 

I nod my head, leaning forward to brush my nose against his. “Good job, perfect score!” I tease. He smiles at me with a wide grin. 

His thumbs squeeze and rub small circles into my hips. He brings one of his hands up, cradling the back of my head into the crook of his neck. “Perfect girl.” he retorts. 

I blush at the statement, my nose brushing against his neck softly. “Sleepover?” he asks. I pull back with a firm nod. “Yes, please.” I state. His hands rub up and down my arms. 

“Want a T-shirt and pajama pants?” I nod shyly, moving off of his lap. He pulls out a shirt from his closet, handing it to me. “I–uh, I probably won’t wear the pants, this is okay.” I remark. 

His eyes meet mine, bulging out of his head as he nods swiftly. “Oh–okay.” he replies. I stand up from his bed, stripping off my jeans onto the floor. I pull my own shirt over my head, watching as Matt’s eyes shut tightly. He leans his forehead against the closet door, his knuckles turning white from how hard he grasps. 

“Are you trying to kill me?” he mutters. I laugh, tugging my bra off from underneath the shirt and letting it fall to the floor. I walk up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling myself up to his ear. “Maybe.” I teasingly whisper. 

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@lovesodakid @simply-a-simper

[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 8: Promise For Now 

The smile still lingered on my face after Matt had dropped me off at my house. Waking up, my lips still tugged upward. Especially when I accidentally knocked the toy frogs off my nightstand trying to grab my phone. 

A Monday had never felt so joyful before. 

[From Matt: Pick you up in 10]

I smile at the message, quickly getting ready. Stomping down the stairs, I smell an unusual scent–-homemade food. I follow the smell, my feet guiding me to the kitchen. 

My dad stands in front of the stove, scraping eggs onto two separate plates. Turning around, he gives me a smile.

“Eggs?” He offers. I slowly nod, grabbing the plate. I sit down at the wooden table across from him, watching his thumbs type away on his phone. “Thanks, by the way.” I mumble, my voice still slightly groggy from waking up. 

Eggs have always been one of my least favorite foods. The texture was off, they tasted slimy too. But, these weren’t just eggs to me. This was a sign, one pointing in the right direction. 

My dad used to cook in the kitchen with my mom. She loved to cook, it was one of her main hobbies. When things got bad, he couldn’t keep her out of the kitchen. In result, he would help her by doing most of the work. 

I found it sweet and romantic. He didn’t try to stop her--even when he knew she shouldn’t have even been standing. Instead, he stood by her side, grabbing her hand in his own and stirring ingredients together in a bowl with her. 

The sight of him holding a spatula and cooking food on the pan brought back memories I had piled away like dusty books on a shelf. How could I forget? I used to watch them like most kids looked at pictures of princesses and princes together. A love so beautiful–people don’t watch with envy, they watch with admiration. 

The sky was still a spring blue as I peered through the kitchen window. The change of seasons becoming more apparent with each  passing day. It was still bitter cold outside, but from peering out the window it seemed like a perfect day. The sun was already rising, the sky more blue at this time in the morning than it had been in months. 

I didn’t know if it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but the pastel blue color surrounding me felt like reminders of him. Every ounce of anxiety that flooded in my mind with the thought of walking through the hallways, gossip and whispers of my name, seemed to ease at the sight of my light-colored nails.

The minor detail in my appearance had made me feel delicate. My manicured nails made me feel pretty in a way I hadn’t felt before. But, then again, maybe it was just echoing his words. 

I didn’t just look beautiful to him, I am beautiful to him. 

The compliments and praise I had been craving desperately my whole life, slipped from his lips as if it was sap from a tree–so natural, so easy. My steps felt lighter, my fists didn’t seem to clench as tight after any minor inconvenience.

Typically when knocking something to the floor and having to pick it up as soon as I woke up sent me into a closed-off mood. But, when the blue and green lego frogs had landed on the ground, my legs clambered excitedly out of bed. The cold floor didn’t faze me when I had bent down to haul up the small trinkets, placing them back neatly on my nightstand. 

A deep chuckle breaks me out of my trance. I look up, seeing my dad peering down at his phone, covering his mouth as his shoulders rumble. The sound of his laughter should’ve been comforting, but a pit in the bottom of my gut twisted. Why could I not make him laugh like that?

“What are you laughing at?” I voice. His eyes barely look up towards mine before he slides his phone onto the table, flipping it so I can see the screen. 

“My buddy, Johnny, at work–man’s hilarious! Look!” He points. I pull a smile onto my face, my heart squeezing in my chest. The image in front of me isn’t anything hilarious. It’s a simple selfie of ‘Johnny,’ a middle-aged man who is flipping off the camera with a straight face. 

“Funny, dad.” I remark, trying to sound cheerful. My dry tone doesn’t register with him as he stares back down at his phone, pulling it back up to his face. I can’t even see his eyes with how close he holds the screen to himself. 

This is good, though. He’s laughing, he’s cooking, he’s sober. 

I finish scraping down the slimy eggs, grimacing at the texture as I swallow. “Thanks for cooking, dad.” I walk over, grabbing his empty plate and placing it on top of mine. I set the pair of forks on top, the metal screeching along the plate pulling his eyes to mine for a quick second. “I really-” He laughs harder, rubbing his eyes. “--appreciate it.” I mumble. 

His eyes are glued to his screen. “Yeah, kid, sure thing.” He mutters. I sigh, placing the plates in the sink to wash later as I feel my phone vibrate from my pocket. 

Walking over to the table, I zip up my backpack. I look up, seeing my dad analyzing my hands. “What is that?” I look down and back up, giving him a confused look. “The blue stuff–what is that?” He asks. I look down, my blue nails making me nod in realization. 

I spread out my fingers, fanning out my hands in front of him. “I–well, Matt, painted them.” I say. He nods slowly, shifting his head movement into a shake of his head. “Did you waste money on stupid nail paint?” His tone is bitter. 

I curl my hands up to my palm, clenching my fists against my gut. I scratch at my palms, itching to find some relief. “No–I, uh…It’s Matt’s.” I explain. His eyes squint at me. “Guys wear nail paint now?” I shrug my shoulders, my lips forming into a tight-line as I look down at my blue painted thumbs. 

“Why do you sound so upset?” I push. He shakes his head, running a hand through his greasy, overgrown hair. “Just didn’t want you spending money on stupid shit, kid. I forgot that you’re a woman though. Life is so much easier when you just automatically rely on someone else, hm?” He takes a heavy breath, shaking his head with disappointment. 

It felt like a stab to the gut. My mouth wanted to spit the rage from inside, but I bit down on my tongue. The hypocrisy was degrading. My eyes darted to the counter, seeing his lunchbox open with a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich. All ingredients I had bought with my babysitting money after walking to and from the store alone. 

He’s making progress. I can’t ruin it. 

I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, willing myself to stay silent. Anything I say will make it worse. I shrug, pulling the backpack onto my shoulders and turning around to walk to the door. “I have to go, see you later.” I mutter. 

“I’m actually hanging out with Johnny, I don’t know what time I’ll get back.” I hear him say. My hand stills on the door handle, my neck craning until my eyes meet him. 

“You’re not going out, right?” I question. He looks up from his phone, his lips tightening into a thin line. “No. I’m going over to his house to watch the football game.” He expresses with a slight huff in between his words. 

I nod, looking back at my blue nails clasped around the door handle. “Okay, well–I’m..I’m gonna go.” I don’t hear what he says under his breath before I open the door, the wind whistling through my ears and pushing my hair into my face. I brush it down, locking the door and shoving my keys in my bag pocket. 

I tug the oversized sweatshirt over my hands, the green fabric puddling in sweater paws past my wrists. I clench the extra material in my cold hands, walking to the car parked on the street. I hear yelling as soon as I step within three feet of the car. 

I open the back door of the car, seeing Matt using his hands to exaggerate his words. “--serious. Go to the back, she gets the front.” I sit down in the chair, putting my bag on the floor. His angry tone triggers something within. I hear Chris retort something back, Matt reaching out and slapping him on the back of the head. 

His gentle hands, so aggressive. My eyes clouded at the sight, my chest tightening as I shrink into the seat. I look over to Nick, whose eyes are trained on me with concern. “Are you okay?” He asks. Matt’s head immediately whips around. His wide eyes and clenched-jaw come into view as I look down in my lap.

“I’m–I’m okay.” The car falls into a silence at my shaky voice. I cringe at the unbalanced tone, seeing Matt’s eyes soften, his face falling with somber. I see him open his mouth, but I speak up. “Can we please just go?” His mouth clamps shut as he nods his head. He turns back around in his chair, the car slowly starting to move forward. 

The trees and houses pass by in silence. The typically loud music is tuned down to a soft level. Matt’s eyes darted to me from the rear view mirror, my gaze flickering to my lap to avoid his stare. 

The car slows, coming to a stop as Matt shifts the car to park in front of the school building. Car doors slam shut as we all get out. Nick walks by my side, leaning down to ear-level. “Are you okay? For real?” He asks. 

I keep my eyes trained on the path in front of us. “I don’t know, honestly. I don’t want to talk about it right now though.” I express. He nods in acknowledgment as I hear footsteps clamber from behind us. Matt walks up on my other side. 

“Hey, are you doing alright?” He asks. I sigh, letting my shoulders sink from the weight of my bag. “I just want to get today over with. Plus, I’m already confused in Mrs. Evans class. I read at the same level as a third grader.” I proclaim. 

With one step in front of the other, Matt and I wave to Chris and Nick, who have to go down the other split end of the hall. “Don’t worry, I can help you. I read out loud to myself just to understand. Maybe we can work on homework together?” He offers. I give him a small smile, nodding my head. 

The halls are still semi-empty due to the early time. The few people in the building are mostly jocks who are in gym attire, or the student council club who are all clipping a poster to the ceiling. I let my eyes look over the poster, reading the block letters.

[Hockey Game This Week! Go Hawks!] 

The neon lettering makes my eyes shift over to Matt, who huffs at the sign. “Not excited for your first big-game of the season? Isn’t this one important?” I say. He shifts his head, swaying it from his shoulders. “The team is just a mess right now.” He says. 

We round the corner, walking into the classroom and taking our seats near the back corner. Plopping my bag down on the desk, I see a guy walk in with a letterman jacket. Nate Doe, the hockey captain. He walks over to Matt, who immediately gives him a friendly smile with a nod of his head. 

“Wassup man, how are we feeling?” Nate says. His Boston accent is prominent, more prominent than most other students I had heard speak. 

Matt shrugs. “Alright, I’d be a lot better if the guys weren’t being dickheads.” He answers. Dickheads? Nate bobs his head in agreement, a proud smile crossing over his face. “Don’t worry ‘bout it–none of ‘em ever testing me.” He announces, slapping his chest twice. 

Matt shakes his head, letting out a dry laugh. “You taming ‘em?” He asks. Nate squints, nodding his head with prodded lips. “Mhm, the hockey team will be no problem. Football, on the other hand…that’s another story.” Matt sighs at Nate’s remark, twisting his lips to the side. 

“Anyhow, gotta go. Is this Y/n?” Nate asks, looking over at me. Matt’s cheek tint pint as he gives a curt nod of his head. He talks about me? Nate tips his head down, grabbing the rim of his hat as he winks at me. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Nate.” He turns back to Matt as I mumble under my breath. “I gotta go, but don’t worry–your girlfriend won’t be getting any more of that dumb shit, ight? See ya, man.” He says. 

I turn my head, watching as Nate disappears from the classroom while escaping through the door. Whipping my head back around, I see Matt nonchalantly playing Pokemon-Go on his phone. I squint my eyes at him. He looks up, looking around cluelessly. “What?” He asks. 

“Nate,” I pointed in the direction the boy had steered off from. “--what was he talking about?” I ask. Matt shrugs his shoulders, shaking his head as he shuts off his phone. 

“The rumors….the guys on the team were being ... .gross. Don’t worry about it though, it’s all taken care of–except for the few that crossover with the football team. Nate’s taking care of it though, don’t stress about it.” He says. The football team, of course. The one guy who used any reason to dig under my skin, the football captain–Jeffery. 

I look down at his phone, watching it light up with a Pokemon notification. As if reading my mind, he slides over the phone, letting me catch the animated creatures. 

“Thank you.” I express. He nods affirmingly, running a hand through his silky hair. “--’course. I’m sorry I was being stupid earlier with Chris, it probably didn’t help since you were already having a rough day. I’m really sorry.” He says. My lips form into a slight pout at his soft face. 

He looks up in between his lashes, his piercing blue eyes gleaming into mine with empathy. “It’s okay, you did hit him pretty hard though. Did you apologize to him?” I half-joke. Matt raises one of his eyebrows at me, shaking his head. “He literally slapped me in the dick with a spatula last night. So, no–I haven’t and I won’t be.” He says. 

I cock my head to the side, nodding slowly. “You guys just hit each other like that? Do you do that with all your friends?” I ask. He shakes his head furiously with wide eyes. “No–fuck no. I wouldn’t even do that to Nate. I guess it’s a sibling-thing? We used to have this thing– beat-up Justin time.” He laughs, shaking his head with a reminiscent face. 

His eyes meet mine as I twirl the ends of my hair. His hand reaches out, clasping around my hand. He gasps at the touch. “Holy shit, your hand is freezing!” He envelopes my hand in both of his, the heat creating a warmth that makes me melt in his grasp. 

“Anyhow,” he continues, still holding onto my hand. “--I’d never do that to anyone except them. Well, unless someone pisses me off–but they would have to really piss me off.” He states. He laughs as he holds onto my hand tighter.

 “--Nick actually has punched someone, he’s the most likely to lash out physically, out of the three of us. It was so funny–” the laughter escaping his mouth makes me smile before even hearing what was making him laugh so hard. “--he, he–he punched this dude after he insulted me. I think the dude called me ‘Twinkle Toes,’ or some shit. He kept calling me gay, which had never been an insult to me. It was so stupid, oh my god.” Matt laughs hysterically, leaning over to my side as he holds our hands on his chest.

“Twinkle Toes?” I question, giggles erupting from my mouth at the silly insult. He nods. “Please tell me this was a long time ago.” I laugh. He shakes his head, gasping in between loose chuckles. 

“It was–” his voice squeaks from his boneless laugh. “--was last year!” He exclaims. I clutch my gut as it contracts from laughter. The muscles ache as I try to calm my breaths, but each time I look over at Matt, the same laughter attacks my body, nearly making me collapse from a lack of air. 

A few students roll in as we quietly snicker to ourselves. He keeps one of his hands enclosed around my own, settling them under the table. Mrs. Evans pulls up a slideshow and starts the class lecture.

_

“I’m ready to go home and die.” Nick exclaims. I look over my shoulder peering at him from the passenger seat as he stares blankly in front of him. I laugh at his behavior. “Are you okay there, buddy?” I ask. He just shakes his head, his eyes blinking shut with a tired yawn. 

I feel Matt’s hand clasp around my thigh after turning the keys in the ignition of the car. The engine sounds as the car reverses. He pulls his hand away momentarily, shifting the car into drive before returning his warm hand. 

Chris sings along to whatever song plays from the aux as Matt taps his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. The familiar roads pass by as I see their home in the near-distance. 

Matt slows the car, parking along the curb before climbing out of his seat and shutting his door. I reach open to open my door, surprised as it already swings open. Chris smiles down at me, “I’m only doing this because if I don’t–he’ll turn on the child lock and we’ll all have to wait.” I laugh, watching as Matt stands behind him with a subtle pout. 

“Whatever.” Matt grumbles. I stand up, kissing his cheek softly as the scowl disappears from his face. Chris and Nick are already walking through the front door, leaving it open. “Wait, I think you missed. My lips are right here.” He points. I shake my head, ruffling his hair as his hopefully eyes light up with a bright gleam. 

I lean in dangerously close, watching as his eyes flutter shut in anticipation. My lips gently graze over his, but I pull back and up, planting a kiss on the tip of his nose. “There?” I ask. His eyes open with a child-like shaking of his head. 

“No, no, no. Right…” He takes my finger, bring it to his mouth. He presses a gentle kiss on my finger pad as I giggle. “--here.” I drop my hand back to my sides. His eyes are trained on mine as I lean in closer and closer. 

The fluttering my stomach grows hotter as I feel his shaky breath fan onto my lips. He slowly lets his eyelids close. My lips graze against his once more as I stand in place. “Right here?” I whisper out. The heat of his breath warms me as I hear him gulp loudly. 

“Mhm.” He hums out in a blissed state. “Hmm.” I hum out, watching as he leans slightly forward, nearly pressing his lips completely onto mine. I place both of my hands up on his chest, keeping him in place. “Want me to kiss you?” I purr, watching him give a slight nod of his head. 

“Please.” He requests. I bite my lip in at his words, my eyes wandering over his face. I brush a fallen piece of hair out of his face, watching as he licks between his lips. I let my eyes close, banishing the distance in between us for a swift second as I pressed my lips against his own. 

I pull back quickly, despite wanting to feel the burning desire crawl through my veins. Matt’s hands grab at my forearms as his lips chase after mine. “There.” I remark, wiping the side of his mouth as his eyes flutter open lazily. “Happy?” I ask. 

Matt nods his head, his chest rising and falling with more volume. “Want more?” I tease. The whites of his eyes widen as he nods his head faster. “You’re so cute.” I remark, pulling away as he starts to pout. I turn around, walking to the open door as I hear his footsteps clammer on the street from behind me. 

“Wait!” I hear him shout. I slow my pace down, turning to see him speeding up to catch me. “Matt, I’ll give you more later, I promise.” I say. He smiles brightly, his hand reaching out and pulling my bag strap off of my shoulder. 

“I know, I just wanted to carry your bag.” He states. My chest warms at the sight of him hooking the strap over his own shoulder. He clasps the car keys to his jean loop, picking up my hand as we walk to the door. 

_

I didn’t know how we ended up in this position, but I wasn’t complaining. I had grown frustrated with trying to read the assigned book. Matt had immediately suggested we took a break, but I knew taking a break wouldn’t help. 

I laid in between Matt’s thighs as he held the book in front of the both of us, reading out loud. The boring words hadn’t sounded interesting at all until they fell from his lips. I turned the pages for him. One of his hands held the spine of the book open while the other massaged gently on my shoulder. 

His gentle hands eased my mind back into the moment every time it started to wander off. As he read the last couple words of the chapter, he closed the book, throwing it on his comforter. “How was that? Better?” He asks. 

I nod, my lips comfortable from being shut for so long. His hand wanders up from my shoulder, gathering my hair and placing it to the side. His hands started combing through my hair, a sensation I hadn’t felt since I was a child. 

I hum from the luxurious feeling. “Feel good?” He asks. I look up at him, seeing his face lean over me. “Mhm.” I hum. He leans back on the headboard, his finger intertwining in my hair with a delicate touch. 

I shift my body, turning to lay on top of him. “Is this okay?” I ask. He nods as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, holding out his hands and grabbing for me. “More than.” He voices. I let out a soft laugh, letting him pull me up to lay completely flat on top of him. 

His hands rub up and down my back, the muscles relaxing under his fingers. My thoughts wander to the color blue as I drift off to sleep.

_

The slight snore above me made my head snap upward. Matt’s eyes peel open as he lazily shuts them again. “Fuck, what time is it?” He asks in a groggy voice. I reach over, tapping on his phone as the screen lights up.

9:03 P.M.

“-’s nine.” I mumble, curling my head back into his chest. My stomach grumbles from above him, his hands stop caressing my hair. He pulls my head up gently, waving the hair out of my face. “Let’s go make food. You can spend the night–or I can drive you home.” He says. 

I shake my head, burying my face into his chest with heavy eyes. I hear his deep chuckle from above me. “Come on, I’m hungry too. We can even just grab something and come back up, okay?” I sigh, feeling his chest vibrate from his laughter. 

I roll over, landing on his pillowy comforter and curling into a ball. The things I would do to sleep in this bed every night is unfathomable. I hear his footsteps walk around, his hand caressing my cheek. “Come on, sweetheart.” He urges. 

I shake my head, turning on my other side. “Go eat, too tired.” I mumble. His hand shakes my shoulder slightly before he lets out a sigh. I sink into the sheets, relaxing as he stops shaking me. 

“Come on, sleepy girl.” He coos. He scoops me up, making me gasp and cling onto his shirt as he pulls me into his arms. “Relax.” I let my limbs fall languid in his grasp as he starts walking towards the kitchen. 

I shut my eyes as he turned on the bright light, burying my face in his shirt with a groan. “-’m sorry,” he says. “Here.” I feel him lean down picking something off of the back of the couch. He adjusts his arms, a blanket shielding my face from the unwelcome light. 

I sigh in content, curling up further into his arms as he squeezes me closer. “I’m gonna put you on the counter, okay?” I hum in response. I feel the cold granite through my baggy jeans, clinging the blanket tighter around me as he holds my shoulders to balance me. 

“Comfy, there?” He teases. I shoot him a tired look, nodding my head in response. He laughs, putting his hands on the tops of my thighs. “What do you wanna eat, pretty girl?” I yawn, shrugging while my head tips over, trying to lean on my own shoulder. 

Matt’s hand catches my head by my cheek. I attempt to lift my heavy eyelids, only to see his adorable eyes gleaming down at me. “Stay still, give me one minute, okay?” I nod, my head swaying forward slightly before I catch myself, sitting up straighter. 

I hear ruffling in the cupboard. I let my eyes shut, my back curling as I lean on my hand propped on my leg by my elbow. I barely register it’s slipping before I feel Matt pushing my forehead back, quiet snickers muted by his sealed lips. 

“Want me to carry you?” He asks. I nod my head lazily, reaching out as he sets a bag of some sort down. I feel him push me to the edge of the counter as I wrap my legs around his waist. My arms loop around his neck as I rest my head down on his shoulder. 

“I need to grab something, hold on.” I latch my arms tighter, feeling one of his hands from underneath my thigh vanish. His other hand grips onto my clothed-thigh firmly and securely. 

I hear a shuffle of some sorts as his hand wraps back around my thigh. His knuckles dig into my thigh as I hear a crinkle of a bag. I let myself relax in his arms as he held me close, the blanket still creating a barrier between the light leaving me in peaceful darkness. 

I feel his weight shift from each side as his footsteps patter on the ground softly. I hear him gently kick his door shut before throwing something on his bed. “Okay, want different pants?” He asks. 

My eyes half-open as I look up at him through the dark. He lays me on the bed as I continue holding around his neck. I hear him laugh before detaching my hands. “Hold on, I’ll come lay down. Don’t you want to change? You’re wearing jeans.” He points out. 

I roll over on my side, curling into the soft sheets with a sigh. “--just take ‘em off.” I mutter. I hear his laughter stop. Looking up, his eyes are wide as he scratches the back of his neck. “Are you sure? I–” I lift up a leg, pulling it over until it grazes his hand. 

He looks down at me for permission as I nod my head. With shaky hands, his fingers trail up to the waistband of my jeans. He unbuttons them, pulling the zipper down slowly. I lift up my hips, allowing him to sag the jeans off my bottom before plopping my hips back down onto the bed. 

“Fuck.” I hear him whisper. He pulls the jeans beneath my knees before I kick them off until I hear them land on the floor. My eyes don’t feel nearly as heavy when I feel his electric touch graze the outer-side of my thigh. 

I look down, seeing him completely hypnotized while trailing his fingers down my skin. “Matt.” I state. Grabbing his attention, his eyes go wide as he looks back up at me. “-’m sorry, just–fuck, I can’t help myself. I mean–look at you.” He breathes out. 

I fight back a blush as the heat rolls in waves throughout my system. I clench my knees tighter together at his words, his eyes grimacing shut as he takes a deep breath. “I brought up cookies for us to eat.” I looked down, seeing the bag of fancy cookie-shortbread things that I had always desperately wanted to try, but they seemed like a waste of money. 

Matt removes his hand. I immediately pout, wanting his skin on mine before slipping underneath the comforter and onto the silk sheets. He makes his way around the bed, pulling off his shirt quickly. I swallow thickly at the sight, watching as he leans over, grabbing the bag of cookies before sliding in the bed next to me. 

I shift closer, moaning at the soft silk sheets beneath me. “Oh my god, I love your bed.” I express. 

I don’t hear a response. Opening my eyes, I see him staring down at me with parted lips. “Open.” The familiar words fall from his lips as he presses the cookie on my lips. I open my mouth, letting him slide in the chocolate-covered shortbread. 

His eyes are trained on mine as my teeth bite down. My eyes go wide as I evaluate the flavor. “This is the best thing I’ve ever fucking had.” I say. His lips tug up into a small smile as he shakes his head. 

“One of your favorite things?” I nod my head at his question, not a doubt floating around in my mind as I answer. “See–already finding your favorites, hm?” He retorts. I blush, nodding shyly as he holds another one in front of my mouth. 

_

The tension had been thick as he alternated between feeding me and himself. Getting full, I shook my head at his attempt to give me another cookie. “Thank you though.” I express. He folds up the bag, tossing it on his nightstand before wiping off the few crumbs that remained on his bed sheets. 

“Mhm, now let’s cuddle, come here.” I move over into his open arm, slinging my bare leg over his hips as he lays on his side. One of his arms is tucked beneath my head, wrapping around the back of my shoulders and clinging me to him.  His other hand rests pulling me in by the waist. 

I place both my hands on his bare chest, looking up to see a smile on his face and his eyes closed. I admire the sight, watching his skin illuminate in the moonlight that seeps between the blinds. 

His eyes flicker open, catching my stare as I bury my face in his chest with flushed cheeks. “Were you staring?” He teases. His hand massages my waist, down to my hips that were still covered by the oversized hoodie. He kneads the skin, his hand rubbing down the side of my bare thigh before darting up almost instantly. “I’m sorry, I forgot–” 

I don’t let him finish. I grab his wrist, placing his hand back on my thigh firmly. He hesitantly rests the weight of his hand, not moving an inch. I let my hand wander up to his jaw, my fingers brushing against the slight stumble. 

I hum in content, watching his eyes close. I pull his chin down, his eyes opening and looking into mine. I let my gaze wander down to his lips, seeing his tongue dart across his bottom lip. He leans in further, his hand on my thigh tightening. “Can I kiss–” 

I wrap my hand over his shoulder, pulling myself up to meet his lips. His lips plaster against mine with a tantalizing desire spilling and creating a void of want in every pore of my body. His hand gripped my thigh harshly, kneading the flesh tenderly. 

I moan into his mouth as his hand grabs high, further up my thigh and dangerously close to where I longed for his touch the most. His tongue plunges in my mouth with wondrous fervent exploration. I pull lightly at the roots of his hair, the noise leaving his mouth falling in my own. 

The vibration of the sounds sends a shiver down my spine. I press my body impossibly closer to his. His hand dips from the action, grazing in between the backs of my thighs. I expect him to pull his hand up, but he doesn’t. His hand insteads inserts itself in between my legs, making my back arch into him as he squeezes the skin. 

My chest heaves as I pull away, gasping for air. He pants, the air hitting my along my neck, making me shrug my shoulders upward at the tingling sensation. “Was that enough kisses for you?” I tease, referring to the promise I had made earlier. 

He breathlessly nods his head. His hand trails up my side, wrapping around my waist and tugging me into him. “For now.” He breaths, pressing his lips onto my forehead. 

@sturniolosmind @freshloveforthefit @gnxosblog @sturnreblog @milasturniolo @mattscokewhore @melanch0lybby @stars4matt @samandcolbyfan22 @ruedowney @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @greatooglymooglyyy

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[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment to be added to the taglist!!

CHAPTER 7: THE MORE YOU KNOW

Matt’s POV

My scalp was sore from the amount of bows that had been clipped to my hair. But, I wasn’t complaining–not when I heard her giggling next to me. Her laugh made my brain go numb, I didn’t want to hold back my words out of fear around her like I did with everyone else. If anything–I muttered any thought that had a chance of making her smile. 

I liked it when people smiled at me. It felt rewarding. We hadn’t grown very big on YouTube, but our small fan base had all determined I was the ‘quiet’ one. I wasn’t. I had opinions, I just didn’t always know how to voice them. Not when my brain was screaming at me–telling me I sounded stupid. 

It was heartwarming to rewatch old videos. Memories that would live indefinitely. But, it was also heart-wrenching. Every single word or sentence I said was always being analyzed by thousands of people. It made my lips seal with uncertainty. 

Not around her, though. Not around her. 

She made me want to take risks. I would’ve never stayed in my teacher’s house to babysit her kid–too scared of somehow letting chaos pursue. She made me want to stay, she made me want to try new things. 

We had tucked-in little Hailey in her small bed awhile ago. She had read to the girl while I sat on the end of the bed, admiring her silky and expressive voice. She was careful with the pages of the kids book, seemingly scared to even leave a single fingerprint. 

Curled up beneath my arm, she leans into me on the sofa. My hands wrap around her, rubbing the sweater–my sweater on her arm. She looked perfect in my clothes. It made some territorial part of me relax, even though she wasn’t mine. She at least looked like it.

“Y/n?” I ask. I hear her hum against my chest, her fingers twiddling with the horse pendant hung around my neck. “How do you know Mrs. Evans?” I ask. Her fingers drop the horse pendant, picking it back up hesitantly. 

“Well,” she clears her throat. “She uh–she used to teach at my elementary school in the next town over. Her and…her and my mom used to be best friends.” She explains. 

Used to. Only her dad was in the house, not a single picture frame on the walls–something my mom was adamant on for making a ‘house’ a ‘home.’ 

My heart breaks for the girl as I feel her let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry.” I say. She shrugs her shoulders. “It was a long time ago, it’s okay.” She responds. Her tone is too even, emotion lacking in her voice. I squeeze her shoulder in, leaning my head on top of hers. 

“It’s not okay, that must’ve been so hard. I’m here if you need anything, you know that, right?” She looks up with a semi-smile. I let my eyebrows raise, pushing the question further. “Trust me, I know. I mean–you’re here right now, are you not?” She retorts. 

I squint my eyes at her. “Toućhe.” I replied. Her phone rings with a text. She pulls the screen up from her lap. She turns the screen towards me as I let my eyes adjust. 

[Era Evans: Almost home. You guys are good to leave whenever, thank you!] 

I pat on her shoulder as she stands up. I follow behind as she tip-toes to the door quietly. We both slip our shoes on. I grasp the keys tightly in my hand, preventing the metal from jingling. I open the door as she walks through the threshold. I follow, slowly closing the door with a soft thud. 

I turn around, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the car. “Why are you in such a rush!” I hear her say. I push her into the passenger seat, buckling her in as fast as humanly possible. I ran over to the driver’s side, putting the keys in the ignition. 

“Because,” the engine sounds as I press my foot onto the gas. “You owe me a date.” I remark. I make a quick glance over, seeing her smile from ear-to-ear. I fight the urge to reach out to her, instead putting the heat on full blast in the cold car. “Holy fuck, my hands are gonna freeze off.” I mutter. 

I hear her giggle as I turn down the street. “Here.” She says. She grabs my right hand from the wheel, pulling it. I feel her thighs clamped around my hand, warming it instantly. The butterflies in the pit of my stomach make me swallow thickly as I resist the urge to grab at her warm, clothed thigh. 

At least she won’t be able to see how hard I am from my puffer jacket. 

“Where are we going anyway? It’s almost ten.” She says. I shrug my shoulders, “Honestly, I didn’t think that far.” I admit. “Matt!” She teases. My name falling from her lips makes me bite my inner cheek harshly in an attempt to distract the blood from rushing downwards even more. 

I want her to be mine so bad. So bad, it hurts. I pull my hand out from her thighs. “Thank you, that really helped.” Yeah, really helped me get a fucking boner. I clench and unclench my hands on the steering wheel, debating where to take her. 

It’s freezing–there’s no way she’s gonna want ice cream. Nearly nothing is open. 

“I can see you overthinking, Matt. Anything is fine. There’s always more opportunities on our second date.” I hear her laughter stop at the end of her sentence. “--not that I’m saying we have to–” 

I place my hand on her knee, snapping my eyes to hers at the stop sign as an idea flickers into my head. “I want a second date, trust me.” I confess. I see a slight pink hue paint on her face. My lips curl into a smile. 

I pull into the parking lot, seeing it nearly barren besides cars parked underneath the streetlights. 

“Stay in the car while I run into the store real quick? I really want it to be a surprise. I’ll be so fast–I promise.” I quickly say. I look over, seeing her lips quiver as she slaps her hand over her mouth. Her muted laughs muffle through her hand before she clears her throat. 

“Mhm, yep. I’ll stay-” I start getting out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition with the heat blasting from the AC. “Wait! Your keys!” She announces. I shake my head at her. “I’ll be quick. Stay warm!” I sing, shutting the door softly. 

I hope she loves this. 

_

Y/n’s POV

I stayed in the car until Matt came back. He placed a plastic bag in the backseat, breathless as he started driving. “You good there?” I tease. He nods his head, holding up a finger to give him a minute. I laugh at his heavy pants, the roads starting to look familiar. 

“I was thinking we could pop open the trunk, or we could do it in my bed–wait.” I screech, laugh hysterically as his face cringes. “---not like that, I swear! It’s just cold and we’re gonna need our hands-FUCK!” He slams his hands down with frustration. 

My gut clenched in pain as I felt tears cloud my vision. When’s the last time I cried from laughing so hard? I hear his laugh synchronize with my own. I wrap my hand around his arm, leaning my head onto his bicep. “Let’s go to yours so you're not freaking out about giving me hypothermia the entire time.” I retorted. 

 I feel his head nod against my own. “Yeah,” he turns down the street, his house coming into view. “--you’re right.” He lets out.  He parks the car on the street in front of his house. I hear a click and the sound of him unclicking my seatbelt as I sit up straighter. 

He gets out of the car as I attempt to do the same. Pushing and tugging on the handle, the door doesn’t budge. I see his face prop down at eye level through the window, giving me a disapproving look. He put the child lock on. My jaw drops at the realization as I sit back in my seat, waiting for him to open the door. 

I feel the cold wind rush in through the door as he opens it. His dry chuckle as he holds out an open hand. I slide my hand in his, standing up next to him. He guides us to this door, muffling his laugh as I drag my feet with embarrassment. 

He drops his hold on me, unlocking the door. “Ya know,” I say, watching him jiggle the metal in the lock. “--I can open my own door, I don’t need help.” I remark.  He twists the knob, opening the door wide. I walk in the house, sliding my shoes off by the row of others. He does the same, shrugging his coat off and hanging it on the rack. 

“Here.” He reaches out, helping pull the coat off my arms and hanging it on his own. I look over to the couch, seeing Nick and a brown-haired girl on the couch. They turn around, Nick waving at me. 

“This is Madi. Madi, this is Y/n. Otherwise known as your replacement.” I furrow my eyebrows at his explanation, looking back at Matt who shakes his head, covering his face with his hands. My eyes wander back to the couch, watching as Madi rolls her eyes. 

“Dude, we dated in freshman year for a week!” Her doe eyes wander back to me as she gives me an un-entertained look. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.” I nod at her statement, awkwardly shifting my weight between my feet. 

“That’s enough of whatever the fuck this is–bye!” Matt waves. He grabs my hand, the plastic bag crinkling in his other. “--sorry about that. Nick likes to tease us about it, even after nearly four years or however long it’s been.” He mumbles. 

Our feet patter on the floor, stopping in front of his door as he swings it open. He pushes me gently with his palm on the small of my back.  I let myself sit down on the edge of his bed, the cushy mattress sinking in from my weight. 

“Close your eyes for me.” He mentions. I let my vision go dark as he flips on the light. I hear his footsteps and ruffling of the bag before something is placed in my hands. A box. “Okay, okay. Look!” I open my eyes, looking down at the multi-colored box with confusion.

“What is it?” I ask. I hear Matt gasp, taking the box and flipping it to the other side. “Only the best thing in the world! It’s Legos!” He replies. The excitement radiates off of him, making my skin pulse with anticipation. 

“Oh!! I’ve always wanted these!” I peel the box back into my hands, looking closely at the blocks stacked into various small animals. It has frogs of all different colors. I squeal in excitement as I hand him back the box. “Open it! Open it!” I urge. He turns around, pulling a pair of scissors out from his desk and slicing off the tap, pulling the cardboard open. 

He walks over, dumping a pile of plastic filled bags in the center of his bed. I crawl up to the head of the bed, feeling his weight pull my body down to his as our thighs brush together. The jeans on my thighs rub on my skin, creasing into my stomach discomfitingly. “Oh, and…” He reaches down to the plastic store bag, pulling out flannel pajama pants. Blue and green pattern the material as he looks at the tags, handing me one. “--matching PJs!” 

The soft material against my hands makes my smile grow as I fling myself into my arms. “You didn’t have to! Thank you! This is all so sweet!” I bring my hand up, ruffling his hair as he scrunches his nose. I pull back, looking into his eyes as his hands grip onto my hips. His lips are slightly parted, his breath fans onto my lips as I start closing the distance.

I just wanna feel his lips on mine. 

I watch as his eyes flutter closed, his face becoming soft. My heart races in my chest as his hands squeeze my hips. Our lips brush in a soft kiss, a smacking noise sounding from the subtle movement. I lean back in as I feel him smile against me. 

His hand curls around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. Our lips tangle with passion, a flood of adrenal shooting through my body as my hips plead to move against him. I pull away breathlessly, watching his eyes slowly open to meet mine. “Lego time, motherfucker.” I say. 

He grins up at me. I go to move, but his hands lock on my hips in a desperate grip. I look up, seeing his head thrown back and his mouth ajar. “Fuck.” he hisses. The single word sends shots of electricity straight down to my core as I freeze. “--’m sorry, here.” He pulls me off of him, lifting my hips above before sliding me over. 

I sit next to him, watching as he adjusts with a pillow over his lap. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask me to help you.” I joke. He gives me a tight-lipped smile, shaking his head. “I want this night to be special–not like that.” he explains. 

My hands grip each other in my lap as I feel my breath stutter from my lips. “I’m serious–I don’t want that from you. Wait–well, I’m gonna shut up.” He blushes. I laugh at his sudden change. “I’ll change in the bathroom, you should get in your pjs with me!” I nod, watching him walk off with the flannel pants. 

I take off my pants, letting them fall to the floor and pulling on the soft material over my legs. My skin rubs gingerly against the fabric. I let out a sigh of relief as Matt knocked from the bathroom door. “Ya decent?” I let out a hum, watching as he walks out with the matching pants. 

He walks around, sitting on his side of the bed. His side.

I smile, catching the thought with admiration. A flutter of butterflies swarms my gut as I watch him pull the direction packet out of the box. 

He reaches out, handing me a manual. I open the packet, analyzing the directions. I hand him a bag, directing him as he shoves pieces into my hands. “Come on, it’s no fun just reading the directions.” he reasons. I squint my eyes at him, taking the pieces and placing them in the correct places, as shown. 

_

A calm had settled over us as we focused on building the miniature frogs. There were a handful of colors. Green, blue, yellow, and orange. All bright and vibrant. He played soft music on his phone in the background. I placed the final piece of my second frog. “Done!” I remark. 

Matt looks up with a smile, holding up his own. “Me too!” he says. I let the laugh escape my mouth, admiring his pure excitement. “Which colors do you want?” I look up at him with questioning eyes. “You’re taking two, pick which colors.” He directs. 

“Are you serious?” He nods. I look at the four frogs, then back up at him. “Which two do you want?” I ask. He shrugs. “Whichever ones you don’t.” I roll my eyes at his response, shaking my head with a soft laugh. 

“No, tell me–” He cuts me off. “If you don’t pick, you’re keeping all of 'em.” He says, a serious tone layered in his voice. I point to the green and blue. 

He happily places them in my hand as I cradle the small objects. “Thank you.” I say. He nods his head, clearing the bed of materials. “Thank you.” He says. I furrow my eyebrows at him, watching as he pulls the frogs from my hand, placing them on his nightstand. “For what?” I ask. 

He turns back around, his eyes gleaming down into mine. I feel his hands grip my own, his breath fanning ever-so-slightly across my face. “Doing this with me–just being here. I really appreciate you.” My eyes well up from his kind words, my lips forming into a pout. “Matt.” I breathe out. 

“Just–come here.” He holds out his arms. I let my body fold onto his, his arms swarming around me in a secure hold. A tear sneaks out the corner of my eye, falling into my hair. “That was the sweetest thing you could’ve said–oh my god, I’m trying so hard not to cry right now.” I laugh.

I pull myself up, propping my elbow on the bed. I feel him grab my wrist, stopping me from whipping the stray tears. He takes his own hand, swiping under my eyes. “Don’t. Don’t hold back around me, please.” I let the cry escape my lips as I nod. I fall back onto his chest, hugging my arms tightly around him as he does the same. 

His palm caresses the back of my head. My tears soak into his shirt as I let out small sniffles. It’s more comfortable than my bed, it’s more comfortable than his soft purple sweater. I feel my insecurities shrink, the volume of my anxiety quieting as his arms engulf me. 

To lose this feeling, to lose him would hurt in a way I had never experienced before. What would it be like to lose someone that I know I could love? 

“Matt?” I hear him hum from above me. “We better be going on that second date.” I laugh. His chest shakes from beneath me. “I was really hoping you’d say that.” He replies. 

He pulls me closer, his lips pressing against my scalp softly. I hum at the sensation, letting myself curl further into his embrace. I let my eyes close, feeling as he shifts underneath me. 

The sound of a bang makes my eyes shoot open. “Fuck.” Matt mutters, huffing with annoyance. I look up, seeing one of his shoes thrown towards the door. The bottom print of the shoe marks the wall with dirt, right below the light switch. 

I laugh, watching as he grabs his other shoe from the floor. He squints one eye while lining his aim. He lets the shoes go, the room becoming pitch black at the sound of a bang on the wall. “There, now come here.” He says, nuzzling his arms tighter around me. 

I let my body fall limp, his thumb drawing circles on my arm. 

_

Waking up, a thin layer of sweat covered me as I felt my body being pushed into the mattress. I blow the hair out of my face, looking down to see Matt directly on top of me. His head rests on my chest, soft snoring escaping his lips. 

The sunlight streaks through the blinds, his hair looking irresistibly soft. I let my hands reach up, tangling in his scalp as he lets out a groan. “Goodmorning.” He says. His voice made my stomach clench at the depth of his tone, rough and groggy. He hums in contentment.

“What the..?” He lifts his head up. His wide eyes meet my gaze. I watch his cheeks turn pink, pushing his head back down onto my breasts. 

“--’s fine, I don’t wanna get up yet.” I voice. He lays tense before leaning back onto me. My nails groom through his hair. He lets out a long sigh. “That feels so good.” He whispers. I smile, ruffling his hair playfully. 

“I bet those bows hurt, hm?” I tease. He looks up, nodding at me. “Yes–but, how could I say no?” He says. I laugh, nodding in agreement. “You looked cute with bows.” I compliment. He smiles up at me with innocent eyes. “Really?” He asks. 

I laugh at his question. “You look cute now, goof.” I replied. He nuzzles his head back onto my chest, humming in content. “We look cute–especially in our matching pajamas.” He mentions. I hum in agreement. 

“We’re hanging out the rest of the day, right?” He asks. I let the giggle push past my lips. “Matt! You’re gonna get sick of me!” I remark. “Nuh-uh. I could never. I think I could lay here forever.” He says softly. His hand slides up my waist, directly underneath my breast while his thumb soothes back and forth. 

“Chocolate chip pancakes?” He asks as he looks up at me. I quickly nod my head, immediately going to move. He pins me down with his body weight, flushed cheeks heavily apparent. I go to question him, but my mouth stops as he shakes his head. “--give me a minute.” He mutters. 

I realize he shifts, a hard bulge prodding at my leg as he readjusts. 

_

My stomach was full from pancakes. We had made enough for his entire family, setting them out on the counter for when the household members would wake up. His hand held mine as we sat side-by-side on the couch.

“What’s your dad like?” He asks. I tense at the question, not even understanding how to begin to answer. 

“Uhhhh…I don’t know, he’s just my dad?” I say. Matt gives me a questioning look. “He works for the school district? I don’t know–what do you want to know about him?” I push. Matt shrugs, scratching his jawline. 

“Well,” he starts. “--what do you guys typically do together? My dad takes us all fishing sometimes.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders. 

“We’re not really that close, I guess? He works a lot.” I opt out. I mean, he does. Matt nods his head. 

“Can I ask you something?” I nod. “--and I want you to be honest, okay?” I continue bobbing my head up and down, nerves flooding my body as his eyes meet mine. 

“Why did it hurt when I barely touched your hair the other day? Why did you lie about it?” He asks. My stomach churns, my hand becoming clammy in his. 

I clear my throat, my eyes leaving his. “Matt, I-,” I start.

“Did he do it?” He cuts off. My eyes flicker back up to him as I sigh. “He didn’t mean to--actually.” He gives me an unconvinced look, shaking his head with a clenched jaw. “--I’m serious! He’s trying to stop drinking, he grabbed onto my hair by accident.” I emphasize. 

Matt grasps my hand tighter, pulling it to his mouth as he plants a kiss on it. “You can’t be living like that. That’s not okay.” He states. I know it’s not okay, but I’m not ready to give up on him. It’s gonna hurt. 

“I know, Matt. He’s been making progress.” I explain. Matt sighs. “You’re welcome here anytime. Please just—please call me if you ever need anything.” His blue eyes seep into mine. “--please.” He finishes. 

I nod my head, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “I’ll try–I don’t know why, but asking for help is just….it’s just hard.” I express softly. 

His lips tug into a smile. “I know, but it’s good to get out of your comfort zone. Speaking of–what’s your first task for your list?” He asks. 

I lick over my lips, prodding my tongue in my cheek. “Honestly–I’m really scared of having my nails done.” I joke. 

“Ha-ha.” Matt says in a flat tone. He grabs my hand, looking down at my nails. “I’ll paint them if ya tell me something that’s on your list?” He offers. I nod my head, watching as he stands up.

_

“Don’t look! I want it to be a surprise!” He warns. I giggle, keeping my head turned to the side. I feel the wetness on my fingernails as he blows air onto my hand. I feel him press softly into the painted nail.

“They’re dry! Here, now you can look.” He says. I whip my head around, bringing my hands up to my face with a gasp. They’re painted a pastel blue. The edges are neat, not a single drop of paint staining my cuticles. 

“Thank you, they’re perfect!” I remark, pulling him into a hug. I make sure to keep my fingers flared up to the air, unsure of how the polish works. 

Matt hugs me back tightly before I pull back, admiring the nails once more. He laughs at my reaction. “They’re all dry, but I would be careful.” I nod at the directions, taking a mental note. 

“So,” he starts. “What’s first to-do on your list?” He asks. I suck in my bottom lip. He massages my hand in his as I let my mind wander to depths I typically avoided. 

“I don’t know…” he gives me a knowing look as I huff. “Promise you won’t judge?” I ask. He separates his hand from mine, pulling out my pinky and looping it into his own. I laugh at the innocent gesture as he squeezes my hand back into his grip.

“I pinky-promise. Now, start talking, sweetheart.” His accent is thick as the name rolls off his tongue. My cheeks feel hot as I let my eyes wander down to our intertwined hands. My fears and doubts fade as his thumb grazes over the back of my hand. 

I look up, meeting his piercing gaze. His lips are tugged into a reassuring smile as I bite the inside of my cheek gently. “I-uh…I’ve always wanted to go to the playground, I guess? I just–I didn’t really get to go a lot as a kid, but I feel weird going as an adult.” I let out a nervous laugh. 

My brain swarms with thoughts as I anticipate his response. “Oh!” I gasp, an idea flickering in my head. “--I’ve always wanted to color in a princess coloring book, I never got one as a kid.” I explain. His blue orbs meet mine, squinting from his cheeks curling up from his light smile. “--sorry, we don’t have to do–” he cuts me off, leaning in. His nose brushes against mine, his breath fanning over my lips.

“Good thing I have a printer, hm?” My eyes light up with excitement as I watch him reach over, pulling open his nightstand drawer. He pulls out a colored pencil box as I shift my shoulders with anticipation. “Here, find a couple pictures you like while I go do something, okay?” He says. 

I nod, hesitantly grabbing his phone as he sets it in my hands. “It’s 2-5-8-3.” My fingers type the code, the phone unlocking. 

_

Matt held the array of papers in his hand as he grabbed me by the hand, looping it around his arm and leading me into his neighborhood park. It wasn’t far from his house, but he had insisted on driving. His other hand held a blanket and a tote bag. He had refused to tell me what was inside of it, the curiosity eating away at me with each step we took. 

He laid the blanket out underneath a large, oak tree. He set down the bag, placing the papers down underneath the box of pencils to ground them. Matt had dressed me ridiculously warm, even though the snow had all melted. The subtle breeze was chilly, but definitely not cold enough to require a winter coat, gloves, and a hat. 

I had taken them all off, starting to sweat. He gave me a knowing look before I grabbed his hand, placing it onto my slightly damp forehead. He muttered under his breath, handing me a clipboard and holding out the coloring pages. 

I picked the sheet of paper that had initially grabbed my attention. A princess that had curly-ish hair. She wore a corset and a dress underneath, singing to animals in the woods. “Is Aurora your favorite princess?” Matt asks. 

I shrug. “I’ve never seen any princess movies. Not since before I can even remember.” I state. His eyebrows furrow as he nods his head slowly. “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you up on ‘em.” He expresses softly. I give him a soft, appreciative smile. 

“So,” I pull out the green colored pencil, shading the bottom of her dress carefully. “--who's your favorite princess?” I ask. I focus on the task at hand, my tongue slightly poking out as I concentrate on keeping the color within the printed line. 

“I’m not really sure, to be honest.” He answers. “--my favorite sidekick has to be Pascal from Rapunzel, though. My man is really doing the most.” He jokes. I take a mental note, nodding my head. He pulls his phone out, handing it over to me. 

“Here,” he opens it with his face ID. “--play some music, whatever ya want.” He offers. I smile, clicking on a couple of songs as the music plays softly in the background. He reaches into the bag, pulling out an array of bagged snacks. Chips, cookies, even candy and sodas. 

“Matt!” I exclaim, my heart filling with warmth as he shoves the treats further towards me. “--you didn’t have to do all of this!” I let out. He opens the soda can, pushing it into my hands. “I know, I wanted to.” He states. 

I sip the sugary liquid, coughing at the unfamiliar tingle. When’s the last time I had soda? “I haven’t had soda in forever.” I say, slightly embarrassed. He shakes his head, taking a swig of his own drink. “This one is my favorite, I love rootbeer. Do you have a favorite?” He asks. 

Do I have a favorite? I clear my throat, my chest constricting slightly. I don’t have any favorites because I simply don’t know. “Like I said, it’s been awhile, I don’t really know.” I say, twisting my lips to the side as I bite on the inside of my cheek. 

“That’s okay,” he smiles down at me, his eyes seeping into mine with a comforting reassurance. “--I didn’t know my favorite princess, either, remember? We can figure it out together.” He says. I feel the smile form on my face as I look back down to the paper. 

“This was really sweet, Matt. I really appreciate it.” I express. My head wanders upwards, seeing him scratching at the back of his neck nervously. He clears his throat. “I was-uh…I was hoping–maybe this could be our second date? It doesn’t have—” He stumbles over his words, his eyes looking to the side of my head. 

I reach my hand out, letting my fingers rub over his shoulder. “Matt, I’d love that.” I express. His eyebrows raise with surprise. “Really?” He asks. I give him a curt nod. “Really.” I say. 

_

The snacks were almost all nearly gone, the sky turning from a pale blue to a cotton-candy sunset. We had played like kids on the playset for hours on end. My hands were calloused from the monkey bars, my legs sore from running from Matt chasing me. 

No fears, no ghosts looming over my shoulders. Just us. “Gotcha!” He yells, tackling me in a bear-hug from behind. I giggle uncontrollably, my chest heaving with gasps of air. I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was full or if I had slept like a baby with him last night. Something told me that it was just how he made me feel, but I was bursting with energy. 

He curls his head into the crook of my neck as he sways us side-to-side. His pants fan across my neck, my heart racing as I lean into his touch. “Gotcha.” He repeats in a whisper. I let out a soft laugh, letting the giggles die down as we stood, watching the sun sink below the horizon in front of us. 

I turn my head around, meeting his eyes as he gleams down at me. The golden hue highlights his features perfectly, carving out his face like art. “You look beautiful.” We both speak at the same time. I laugh, feelling his chest rack with vibrations from behind me. 

We fall into a comfortable silence, our eyes lingering together. He pulls me closer to him, his lips against my head as he speaks. “You are beautiful.” 

_

Walking back to his home in a comfortable silence was peaceful. We laid down in his bed, tangling our limbs together. 

“What’s the scar on your arm really from?” His voice slices through the calm silence, my body tensing at his words. I don’t answer, I can’t find the words to answer. “It’s from him, isn’t it?” He continues. I nod my head in his chest, fiddling with the horse pendant that loops around his neck. 

“It was years ago. It’s the only time something like that has ever happened, I swear.” I promise, looking up to his somber eyes. He gulps, his clouded eyes flickering closed. He lets out a deep breath, pushing back the hair from my face. His delicate touch leaves a warmth. 

“Promise me,” he swallows thickly, looking down at me. “--promise me that’ll you’ll tell me if something ever happens.” I let my eyes flicker down to his necklace, the cold metal weighing down my fingertips. 

“Nothing’s gonna happen–” 

“Promise me. Please.” He urges. I look up, peeling his hand away from my head. I take his pinky, looping it on my own. “I promise.” I say, looking between his eyes. He nods before nuzzling me into his chest. 

It’s the truth. He wouldn’t mean to hurt me–I knew that. The regret on his face after I had screamed out from the cigarette burn haunted my thoughts. Deep down, I knew it haunted his own too. 

_

I woke up in my own bed this morning. I clung onto the soft, purple sweater in my sleep, dreaming of him. I couldn’t recall what the dream had enquired about, but I woke up with a smile etched on my lips softly. The rumors had died-down at school, classes passing by as Matt and I kept exchanging glances throughout the entire school-day. 

He had forced Chris to sit in the back, despite him bickering back. He did the same as we drove back to his home, making Chris pout like a child from the backseat. “I have hockey practice tonight, but I figured–”

“SHUT UP! MADI’S COMING OVER! WANNA HANG OUT?!” Nick cuts off. I nod my head, laughing at his excitement. He claps his hands, his grin growing on his face. 

“We’ll be back at like 6, I think.” He adds. He drops Nick and I off, heading back to school with Chris happily returning to his usual seat in the front. They drive off, Nick dragging me into the house with passionate steps. 

_

Madi had arrived soon after they left. The more we talked, the more I wanted to keep talking. She didn’t make me feel judged, she just simply wanted to get to know me. We had briefly talked about Matt–she explained how they only dated because they felt like they had to. The pressure of highschool got to their heads, but they returned to being friend’s without any awkwardness. 

The boys had returned back from hockey practice, sweaty and gross. But, they were also starved. Marylou and Jimmy had prepared dinner. We all sat, small conversation ensuing while we laughed. None of the people at the table were family, but it felt like they were. 

After eating, Matt had taken me up to his room despite Nick and Madi’s groans. He sat me down on the bed. “Give me five minutes, I’ll be fast.” He muttered before racing into his bathroom. 

The water only ran for a couple of minutes before he walked out of the bathroom door. 

My eyes widen at the sight in front of me. His hair was slightly damp, darker than usual from the water. A pair of gray sweatpants hung dangerously low on his waist. I gulped, my eyes glued to his abdomen and displayed tattoos. 

I hear him laugh, laying down next to me. “You’re so respectful, hm?” He teases. I bite down on my lips, my cheeks burning from embarrassment. “--’s okay, come here.” He pulls me down to his bare chest. My palm rests on his bare skin, the touch making my breath feel uneven. 

“How was practice?” I ask. I trace circles onto his stomach, watching as his stomach clenches and unclenches from under my touch in the slightest. He grabs my hand in his own, holding it securely. I look up, seeing his eyes shut tightly. 

“If you want me to be able to think–you can’t do that.” He voices. I smirk, bring my hand back down. I repeat the same action, this time letting my blue nails graze lightly along his stomach hair that trails down. I hear him suck in a gasp at my touch. 

I continue the action, pulling myself up to his ear. “Maybe,” I swipe just beneath the waistband of his sweats, his lips parting. “--I don’t want you to think.” I taunt. I smile proudly, watching his eyes glaze over with lust, his eyes dilating while gleaming into mine. 

A knock on the door sounds, Matt groening and throwing his head back. “What!” He shouts, displeased. I let my palm rest back on his chest. 

“We’re all playing games, come on! Mom wants Y/n!” I hear Nick shout. Matt rolls his eyes. “Fine!” He yells back. I smile at his blank face, watching him rub along his jaw. He stands up, pulling a hoodie on. Offering me a hand, he pulls me up from the bed. 

He doesn’t take a step back. We stand face-to-face. His eyes flicker down to my lips. “Can I have a different hoodie?” I ask. Matt nods his head, walking over to his closet and pulling out a purple sweatshirt. He tosses it to me. 

I smirk, an idea popping into my head. Before hesitating at all, I pull the shirt over my head. I see Matt’s eyes bulge out of his head, his gaze focusing on my covered breasts. I put on the hoodie, walking over to Matt who stands frozen in place. 

I giggle, gripping his jaw playfully between my pointer finger and my thumb. “How respectful, hm?” I retorted. His tongue prods inside of his mouth at his cheek. He grabs my wrist, pulling my hand down with a smirk. 

“You really wanna play that game? Hm, sweetheart?” I squint my eyes at his words, shrugging with a proud smirk. “Nope, I wanna go play games with your family. I’m gonna go head down–I’ll meet you down there whenever you calm down.” I motion to his crotch, the slight bulge very apparent. 

A slight pink hue crosses his cheeks. I open the door, giving him a small wave. “See ya!” I say, walking down the hallway with light steps as the excitement brushes through my veins. 

@sturniolosmind @freshloveforthefit @gnxosblog @sturnreblog @milasturniolo @mattscokewhore @melanch0lybby @stars4matt @samandcolbyfan22 @ruedowney @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @greatooglymooglyyy

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[cherriesformatt]

could you right a fic of matt and y/n dating but they get in a argument over one of matts friends who's a girl and she put her hand on his shoulder and matt didn't move her hand away or something and it leads to matt telling y/n there just friends but he teaches her in a smut way sorry if that didn't make sense xx

Hi! I tried my best but I also needed to do it a little my way 😂 I hope you will like it!! It’s here: MAKE YOU MINE

[cherriesformatt]

make you mine || matt sturniolo

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: you got insecure on a party so you take Matt home and show him he is yours

warnings: smut, insecure reader, p in v, after care

a/n: idk I do not know if I like it cant remember last time I did write smut also I did not proof read it yet. Kinda based on the request but I changed it up a little. ALSO REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN

🍒

I was having a conversation with some girl I just met. I did not remember her name and it was too loud for me to have a proper conversation anyways.

I nodded at whatever she said to me and told her I need to go to use a restroom which wasn’t necessarily true. I just wanted to find my boyfriend because I lost him in the crowd.

I was scanning the club with my eyes but the light and the music just weren't making it easy for me.

Tara invited us for that party and I was happy to be here but in the same time I just wish I was somewhere else. Like empty beach or my bed. I wasn't feeling myself lately and being surrounded by lots of girls in those little tops and dresses made me feel worst about myself even if I knew comparing myself to others was bad.

I just wish I could wear that and feel great in it. I was always more top and jeans girl over a dress.

I fixed my bag on my shoulder and squeezed myself into the crowd even more.

"Finally" I sighed when I saw the triplets talking to Colby and some other people far from the dance floor.

Of course.

"y/n! Long time no see" Colby brought me to a hug and I smiled a little and patted his back.

"Literally 24h!" I laughed and everyone did too.

"You're okay?" Matt placed his hand on my lower back and he gently stroked my bare skin.

"I'm great" I smiled at him and he did too and went back to a conversation he was having with Tara's cousin that we met on her dinner last night.

She was smiling at him and laughing at whatever he was saying but I couldn't hear. The only thing I was noticing is her hand stroking his arm sometimes and the way he just wasn't doing anything about it.

"If looks could kill, blondie would drop dead on the floor, kid" I heard Chris's voice from my other side and I looked at him.

"I do not know what are you talking about. I'm going to the bathroom" I exhaled rolling my eyes at him and just walked away.

I went into the bathroom and just washed my hands trying to calm myself down. I didn't want to be this jealous girlfriend. But today wasn't working out for me. I trusted Matt with all of my heart.

He looked so good tonight. His hair was perfect, he's eyes were shining from the lights and his god dammit rings. Don't get me started. I clenched my tights just thinking about his hands.

So of course there were other girls wanting what was already mine.

God, I just wanted to take him home and string him down.

I turned around and walked out of the bathroom and as the door were closing I was met with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

"Matt?" I I frowned looking at him.

"I asked if you're okay and you clearly wasn't... and you just walked away from us" He said.

"Oh I am sorry I didn't know I have to report every move to you" I said crossing my arms.

"Oh please, don't start that shit" He said and leaned on the wall.

"Maybe Tilly won't start anything go back talking to her" I said and started to walk away but he grabbed my arm and pulled my body to his.

"What are you trying to proof here?" He rested his hands on my sides and squeezed them lightly.

"You dropped your hand from my back but still didn't take her hand from your arm when she was stupidly laughing at whatever you said" I told him and he just shook his head at me.

"Y/n do not make a Taylor Swift moment from it, okay? I didn't even notice that because the only thing I could think of was your ass in those jeans, baby" He said and his hands wondered from my sides to my bum and he squeezed it.

"Take me home Matt, now" I told him and pushed on his chest to break free from his touch.

I walked to the exit and just hoped he would follow me.

Everyone is too drunk to think it is rude to leave without saying bye. And Chris and Nick can get an uber home, they are not babies.

I felt his hand on my back as he caught up with me and walked beside me without a word.

The car ride home was quiet. The only sounds were the music and my nervous breathing. He didn't say anything. I am pretty sure he thought I was still mad at him and he just didn't want to make it worse.

On the other hand I was nervous from the scenarios forming in my brain.

Matt underneath me, begging for my touch.

It made me nervous because I was usually the one under his control. But today I needed to show him that I can also be in control. I knew it would make my insecurities feel better.

When he parked the car in the garage of his house he looked at my eyes clearly wanting the answers.

I gently put my hand on his chest and grabbed him by his shirt to pull him closer. I rested my forehead on his and our lips were nearly touching.

"I wanna make you mine..." I said and put my other hand in the back of his neck.

"I am already yours..." He answered and connected our lips.

I broke from the kiss and exited the car.

"In your room, Matthew" I said looking deeply into his eyes.

He slowly licked his lips. To slowly, it made the heat building in my core nearly boil. He unbuckle himself and also exited the car.

He opened the door and let me in first. I took his hand in mine and walked into his room. As soon as he closed the doors behind us I turned around and pull him back into the kiss. My hands travel into his hair and pulled on them gently.

He hissed into my lips and I felt his hands traveled down my back. I pulled away from his lips and started to kiss down his throat. I gently bit his neck. I felt his hands squeezing my ass as I kissed his sweet spot and lightly sucked on it.

"Fuck...." he sighed and made me turned so my back hit the wall.

"No...Matt let me...let me be in control" I said and pushed on his chest lightly.

"Strip and lay on your back" I said firmly and he smiled a little.

"Yes ma'am" He said and I walked into his bathroom slightly relieved that he didn’t turn down my wish.

"I can do it" I whispered to myself while I was taking piece of satin from my rope.

I walked back into the room and seeing him laying on his back, just in his boxer made me bit the inside of my cheek.

I had no idea what I was doing.

I put the piece of material into my back pocket and took my shoes off.

I climbed on the bed and straddle him.

"What's in your pretty head today, baby?" He asked and I just leaned down to kiss him again.

Out tongues found each other as his hands traveled to take my top off but I took them in mine and rested them above his head. Not breaking a kiss I deftly tied his wrist together with the satin rope I had in the back of my jeans.

"Baby..." He breath out.

I only smiled at him shyly and started to kiss his neck again taking my time as I grazed my nails down his bare chest.

I could feel him getting hard so I gently palmed his clothed bulge through his boxers.

He exhaled deeply as I slid down his legs so my face was right in front of his crotch.

I looked at his face when I gently pulled down the only thing that was on the way.

He moaned when the cold air hit his dick as I took him in my hand and stoked him. I gently kissed his tip before I took him into my mouth.

He wanted to garb my hair but he couldn’t with his wrists being tied together so he growled and trusted his hips forward making me choke on his dick a little. I pulled out and looked at him.

“Do that again and I’ll stop” I said wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.

“I’m sorry… I won’t…” he said breathing heavily.

I took a breath in and wrapped my lips back around him and took what didn’t fit in my mouth in my hand.

I tried my best to make him feel good until I pulled back feeling that he was on the edge. I knew that from the way his dick twitched in my mouth.

“Fuck… why did you stop?” He moaned and tried to touch me but he couldn’t.

“Watch your words…” I told him.

“Because I want you to finish inside me while I ride you” I added as I stood up from the bed.

He looked at me with poor surprise as I stared taking my own clothes off.

“You’re going to be the death of me, women” He closed his eyes.

His chests rapidly going up and down as I climbed back on top of him. I didn’t even need for play for myself. Him being like this made me dripping down my legs.

I took him in my hand and lined myself with him.

I moaned as I lower myself on him. The feeling of him stretching me out made my eyes roll.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now…. You’re so hot” He’s shaky voice made me open my eyes.

My body stayed on top of him so I had a second to adjust. I started to move my hips when I was ready and I made both of us moan.

“Talk to me baby….fuck I wanna touch you so bad”He breathed out.

“You’re mine Matt… Only mine” I sad clenching around him just to make him crazy.

“Don’t do that if you want me to last….” He hissed.

“Of course I’m only yours…..never ever want to be anyone else’s but yours” He said looking at me.

I started moving faster to give us even more pleasure. My legs started to shake slightly and he felt that.

“Take this shit off I can’t take it anymore… I need to help you” He whined.

I leaned down to connect our lips and I untied his hands.

His hands found a way to my waist right away. He started to trusting his hips up holding me still. His name slipped from my mouth and my head dropped to his neck form the pleasure.

I pulled back to sit on him and he also brought himself up and his hand fixed my hair from my face.

“I love you’re you’re the most beautiful and amazing girl on this planet, you know that right?” He’s other hand travel between our bodies and he started rubbing circles on my clit.

“I asked you a question” he said and starting to trust his hips even harder.

“Fuck…Yes” I said.

I felt blissful. I knew I was close but from his movements I knew he was too.

“Matt… I’m going to… holy shit…” I cried out resting my forehead on his.

Our movement slowing down. It was killing me. It was slow but every time he was so deep that I felt him in my whole body.

“I love you” He said and made me look up at him.

“to the moon and back…” I finished and connected our lips as we made love.

“Come with me pretty girl… please” He said into my lips.

I came undone scratching his back. I felt him come inside me and I moan.

He gently pulled out and I didn’t want to be far from him so before he could lay me down I just wrapped myself around him.

“Oh… what’s that for?” He laughed and hugged me back and kissed my shoulder few times.

“I’m sorry for how I was behaving… I was feeling pretty insecure and I let it into my head too much” I whispered.

“Oh honey…” he said and rubbed my back.

“That’s why you wanted to be in control?” He asked.

“Yes… but half way through I was like fuck i don’t even know if I like it so thanks god you got so desperate and wanted me to untie you” I laughed.

“Baby… I know it’s hard sometimes but I need you to know that you’re so beautiful and smart and just my favorite human on this planet” he made me move away a little so he could looked at me.

He kissed my nose and I smiled.

“I love you Matt, thank you” I said.

“You don’t have to thank me… it’s the truth. And u liked you being in control…We could do that again sometimes…Now.. let’s get you clean…” He smiled at me and helped me stand up.

It made me feel good that he said he liked it. Because I was really unsure about what I was doing but seeing him and now hearing that he liked it have me a lot of confidence back.

He cleaned us both, made sure I pee and he removed my make up too. We took a quick shower and brushed our teeth together. As we did we heard Chris and Nick walking into the house.

I smiled because that means I could fall asleep without worrying about them.

“Good night love…” he kissed my head.

We were already in bed in our pj’s on, my head on his chest and one of my legs in between his. I just needed him extra close tonight.

“Good night” I whispered.

“Remember that you can always talk to me about how you feel…” He reassured me once again.

I smiled.

“I know Matty… I know” I said as I was almost out.

Next to him I felt like I could everything and he made me feel beautiful and wanted. He was my escape, my everything. And he was all mine.

[cherriesformatt]

Comfort Zone

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

masterlist (series)

Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)

A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!

Comment to be added to the taglist!!

Chapter 6: Your Favorite.

I had woken up to birds chirping and the sun streaking through the blinds. My body felt wonderful. My stomach didn’t ache, I wasn’t shivering, and his arms around me felt heavenly. It was Saturday–the day I was supposed to watch Mrs. Evans' kid, Hailey. 

I had yet to meet Hailey. She was only a toddler. Mrs. Evans had always wanted a family, but from my knowledge–her body didn’t make it easy for her to do so. Sometimes I wondered if she had ever resented my mother when I was a child. She spent countless hours playing with me, taking care of me how my mother just couldn’t. I barely remembered any of it, it made me feel guilty. 

Matt and I had decided to take Trevor for a walk, still in our pajamas. He had thrown a winter coat, gloves, and a beanie on my head. It was excessive, but the man would not let me walk outside without ‘reasonable’ layers. Ironically, he didn’t even have gloves or a hat on.

“What are your plans for today?” He asks. I let out a sigh, mentally running through my list of things to do. 

“Well,” I start. “--I have to go home before I babysit. That’s pretty much it.” I answer. My hands are sweating inside of the gloves. I pull them off, zipping them inside of the coat pocket. I look over, watching Matt give me a warning glare. “I’m sweating! See?” I say. 

I reach out my hand, placing it on his. He takes it, intertwining both of our hands together. “Okay, fine.” He remarks. He rolls his eyes, sighing in defeat as we continue down the cement path. “--but if you get sick, I told you so.” He huffs. 

I shake my head, laughing. Trevor trots on Matt’s opposite side, heavy pants being heard. We walk up to his front door as he swings it open. He bends down, unhooking the leash. Trevour immediately darts to the couch, sprawling on the sofa as if he was dead. I laugh at the sight in front of me, shedding off the multitude of layers. 

I slip out of my worn shoes, placing them neatly on the patterned mat. I begin shrugging off the large puffer coat, feeling Matt take it off my shoulders for me, placing it on the coat hook. “Thank you.” I mumble shyly. He gives me a curt nod. 

“I know mom wanted to show you her garden today, she’s starting her spring stuff in her greenhouse as we speak. Wanna go check it out?” He notices my eyes squinting down at him. “--I won’t make you put a bunch of layers back on, I promise.” He says. 

I raise my chin, questioning him. He shakes his head, laughing. He grabs my hand, dragging me until we reach the back door of the house. He slides open the door, the cool breeze feeling like air conditioning in the heat of summer. The green fabric feels slightly heavier on my back, a thin layer of sweat coating down my shoulders. 

“Come on, she’s probably in the greenhouse.” I follow Matt down the dirt path, into the woods behind his house. The path diverted into two separate ways, the right one to the lake he had taken me to previously. He turns left, holding my hand as he tows me along with him. 

I see a small greenhouse come into view. The shed has rustic wood for walls with a multitude of windows, all covered in dead stems, withered by the cold. I follow Matt as he walks through the propped-open door, seeing Marylou dumping a bag of soil into a pot. 

She looks up, noticing us. Her soft, melodic hums stop as a cheery smile spreads across her face. “Hey, kids! I was hoping to show you my greenhouse! Would you like to plant with me? I’m putting down some soil into these pots,” She motions towards the array of ceramic plant pots. “--I could definitely use some help.” She points out. 

I ecstatically nod my head, Matt scratching the back of his neck and looking back at me for confirmation. “Sure, mom. What do you want us to do?” He asks, guiding me to the table with the materials. 

“I need,” She points to a high shelf in the shed, one far beyond her reach or my own. “--that.” She says. Matt reaches up, grabbing down a wooden box filled with various seed packets. He sets it down on the table, dusting off his hands. 

“Now what?” He asks. Marylou pats his back, pushing him. He walks with her hands guiding him to the door.

“That’s all we need you for, bye! Love ya!” She says. Matt turns around on the other side of the doorway, holding up his hands questioningly. He opens his mouth, a slight syllable escaping his lips before the door shuts in his face. 

“Love ya to, ma!” He shouts sarcastically from the other side. Marylou turns back to me, a mischievous smile spread on her face. She walks back over, handing me a bag of soil and moving a pot in front of me. 

“Just put it in there, darlin’.” She directs. I roll up the sleeves of the expensive hoodie, standing hunched-over to protect the vibrant fabric. I cannot get this dirty. I take the cut-open bag, dumping it in the pot like she directs. 

“Ya know,” I look up, seeing her wandering around, gathering various tools. “--I really like you, you seem like a very sweet girl.” She mentions. I feel my cheeks heat up as I avert my eyes back to the task at-hand. 

“Thanks.” I mumble. I hear her shuffling around, her hands coming in my peripheral vision. I watch as her hand grazes my arm, her pointing finger landing on my forearm. 

My eyes widen in fear. The cigarette scar lays right beside her finger. “What’s this from? It almost looks like a burn–any crazy story?” She asks. 

I shake my head furiously, panic overtaking through my veins. “I…um…no–I don’t even remember how I got it, to be honest.” My voice comes out shaky, slightly higher pitched. I wince at the horrid attempt of lying, not able to bring my eyes up to meet hers. 

“Oh…” She trails off. “--the boys have a ton of crazy scars and stories–especially Matt.” She explains. I sigh in relief. Thank god she didn’t push. I bring my dirt-ridden hand up to the edge of the sleeve, pulling it down with the tips of my nails. I cover the scar with the sleeve, bringing my hands back  down to the pot. 

I hear a knock at the door, grabbing my attention. I watch as the creaky door shutters open, Matt pouting from the otherside. “Can I have her back yet?” He asks. 

I laugh at his innocent tone, looking over to see Marylou rolling her eyes. “Kids, am I right?” She jokes, shaking her head disappointedly at me. She huffs heavily. “Fine, I guess. I want her back when I plant my tulips though, Matthew Bernard.” She warns. 

My lips part as I choke back a laugh. “Mom!” Matt whines, burying his face in his hands with embarrassment. Bernard. He stomps over, grabbing my hand and tugging me behind him. I whip around, waving to Marylou as she stands, shaking her head with a smile. 

Matt guides us down the path, turning on the dirt path that leads us to the lake. “What are we doing?” I ask. He nods to the right, a tree coming into a view. A large willow, green leaves sprouting, barely peeking out from the branches. 

“It’s starting to bloom, look.” He points. 

My eyes stare at the tree, admiring the rarity. I hadn’t been to many places, I had never even been outside of Massechusets. I never had much time to explore, either. 

I loved seeing nature, large tree trunks accompanied by bushy leaves at the park by my old house in the less scenic town over. I had never seen a tree with so much personality, the branches dancing with the wind. 

“I’ve never actually seen one of these in person.” I breathe out. Matt raises his eyebrows at me, dragging me closer to the colossal wood. He stops right in front of the branches, parting them carefully with his hands. He nods his head, gesturing for me to walk. 

I weave under the dry branches, stopping as I stand in the empty space between the branches and the trunk of the tree. It had felt like a shield, mimicking the way my hair would often hang like curtains around my face. 

I hear the rustle of branches, watching as Matt steps through. His hand squeezes back into mine. I hesitantly reach out, letting my fingertips graze the rough bark lightly. “I’m deathly afraid of getting splinters, but this,” I shake my head in disbelief. “--this is just mesmerizing.” I remark. 

“Deathly afraid of splinters?” He laughs. I whip around, meeting his eyes as I squint at him. 

“Elevators?” I banter. He holds his hand up defensively, making me laugh. 

“What else are you scared of?” He whispers. I feel his chest press against my back, his hand squeezing my own as his other rubs along the side of my arm. 

I laugh nervously. “Spiders, needles, any insect really…um…” I trail off, feeling his chuckles vibrate against my back. “Shut up.” I mutter. I feel his laugh grow more intensely, his lips breaking as the sounds reach my ears. 

“Why are you deathly scared of splinters? I don’t understand.” He laughs. I shrug my shoulders, a sadness washing over me as I feel myself detach. His laughs die down, his head peeking over my shoulder. His face is sympathetic. “I’m kidding–I mean, I’m scared of elevators.” He jokes. 

I let the smile crawl back up on my face. “Well, that’s rational–you could fall and plummet to your–sorry.” I say, watching his eyes widen with horror. I made it worse. I sigh, looking at the splintered bark in front of me with heavy shoulders. 

I feel his hand squeeze my own, bringing my attention back up to him. His eyes gleam down at me with sorrow written in his face. “Ya know,” He brushes the hair behind my neck, making my body tingle from his breath. “--I’ve always wanted to carve a heart into a tree with someone. Chris and Nick never would, they think it’s stupid. But,” His nose nuzzles on the rim of my ear, my body tensing from the sensation. “--maybe we could do it together sometime.” 

I crane my head up, looking up at him. His eyes meet mine with admiration. “I’d like that.” I blush. He gives me a small smile, leaning his head down to rest against the back of my own. 

“M’kay, ready to head back inside? I don’t want you to get too cold.” His hand returns, rubbing up and down my arm. I laugh at his remark. Cold? His body heat radiated onto me, warming me better than any jacket I had ever owned. 

“Sure.” I responded. His body heat dissipates as I hear the crunch of his shoes against the dirt. I turn around, watching as he opens the branches like a curtain. 

“Come on, princess.” He teases. I blush at the name, walking through the void. I feel his hand clasp around my wrist as I stand beneath his raised arm. I look up, watching his eyes hungrily gaze down at my lips. 

I smile, letting him drag my hand up to his chest. My palm lays flat on his chest, his hand enclosing on top of mine. I push my toes down, bringing my heels up as I lean onto him. I peck his lips swifty, backing up to see his eyes closed and his lips still semi-puckered. 

I laugh at his reaction, making his eyes snap open. His face is overcome with a proud joy, gleaming with admiration. I let my feet relax, but my foot twists as it lands on the uneven surface. I shriek, feeling myself stumble. 

Matt’s hand drops my own, his arm tugging me immediately back to his chest. He leans down, his breath fanning across my nose in the slightest. I let out whispered breaths. “Caught ya.” He remarks. I feel my smile return to my face as I flail my arm back to his chest. 

As soon as I move my arm, a rough sting is apparent on my forearm. The burning sensation pricks me, making me whimper in pain. Matt pulls my body up to his with his arm, guiding us out of the curtained-branches and to the field of grass. 

“Hey,” he reaches out, grabbing my arm from my grasp. I watch as my vision becomes blurry from tears. I gasp as he gently pulls my arm in between the two of us. A large thorn, embedded in his hoodie. His three-hundred dollar hoodie. 

My bottom lip quivers as the sight in front of me intensifies, sending fear and panic through every pore of my body. I ruined it. The slight stain of red becomes more apparent, seeping into the green fabric with high contrast. 

“I-I—I’m so so so sorry, Matt. I-” He shushes me, pulling me into his chest in a hug. One of his arms wrapped around me, caging me against him. I push back, only for his hand to enclose around my head with a firm grip. “Matt–”

“Shhh, don’t look.” His voice is comforting and gentle. His firm grip gets tighter as I attempt to push myself back. “Matt-” Is this it? Is this where his gentle touch disappears? 

I wince from the burning sensation, feeling yet another prick. I can’t help the tears from falling from my eyes, soaking onto his sweatshirt. “Shhhh…I got you, it’s gone, look.” His grip falls back down to my waist as he holds a bloodied-thorn in his hand. 

My eyes widen, immediately darting to the hoodie. I yank the sleeve up above the wound, letting the crimson paint down my arm, dripping slowly from the shallow wound. “Hey, you’re gonna get cold.” Matt states, yanking the hoodie back down. 

I gasp, watching a streak of red appear. “Matt! It’s gonna-” “I don’t care, it’s just a hoodie. Now, let’s get the first aid kit and take care of ya, yeah?” He states, pulling me by the waist. 

I feel my ears go hot from embarrassment. I’m fucking crying over a splinter. I should be profusely apologizing for destroying his things. 

I choke back my tears, clearing my throat. “Matt, I–,” the quiet shaking in my voice makes him turn his head, analyzing me. He supports my weight, walking quicker as he slides open the back door. “--I’m really sorry.” I state, letting it out in one breath. 

Matt shakes his head, placing his hands on my hips. I squeal, feeling my feet lift off the ground. He pushes me back, sitting me on the cold counter. I look up, willing the tears to crawl back inside. I hear a drawer open, metal clanking as I look over to see him holding a first aid box-kit. 

“I’m really sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to-” The words get caught in my throat. He takes out an alcohol wipe, ripping it open with his teeth as his other hand rubs up and down my thigh. “It’s okay, really. I’m not upset in the slightest, okay?” I nod hesitantly at his words, watching as he reaches out with the alcohol pad. 

I scoot back on the counter, leaning my body weight away. It’s gonna hurt, I know it’s gonna hurt. Why do I have to be so weak when it comes to pain? 

“Hey,” His hand wraps around my thigh, keeping me in place. “”--it’ll hurt, but then it’s gonna feel better. I have to clean it.” 

It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt. 

“Here, come here.” He opens his arms. I fling myself into them, latching around his neck desperately. His hand grabs my arm, pulling it down and to the side. I feel the burning sting, whimpering from the pain as I attempt to keep my arm still for him. 

Please, don’t think I’m weak. 

I loosen my grip, feeling the cool air on the wound. I hear another rip, seeing as he places a bandaid over the red area. I look down in shame. Why do I have to be so weak?

“I’m sorry for crying and being a baby. I’m especially sorry for ruining your hoodie.” I run my clammy hand against the top of my thigh. His hand pushes my chin up, forcing my eyes to meet his. His gaze softened, a slight pout apparent on his lips. 

“Don’t. You don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s a piece of clothing–” 

“It was your favorite.” I retort. He shakes his head, letting out a sigh. 

“I can have a new favorite.” He remarks with a soft smile. I nod, trying to blink back the tears. “--if you need to cry–cry, it’s okay.” He soothes. I shake my head, looking up towards the ceiling. 

“I don’t want to cry.” I let out. My body betrays me, a stream of hot tears running down and into my scalp. Matt wipes the tears gently with the sleeve of his sweater. “Why not? It’s just me.” He points out. I wipe under my eyes with my fingers. “I don’t want you to think I’m weak.” I laugh out dryly. 

I let my eyes shift to his. He shakes his head, a smile tugging on his lips. “I don’t think you’re weak.” He breathes out. “You don’t?” I interrogate. He shakes his head, “Elevators aren’t even in my top five fears and I almost had a panic attack. If anything, I think you’re strong.”

He brushes the hair back as I look into his eyes. The fear started subsiding as a comforting wave of relief washed over me. “You okay?” I nod my head as he places his hands on my hips. I let him help me off the counter, but he doesn’t set me on the floor. 

My legs wrap around him as he starts walking to his room. “What are you doing?” I ask, grappling onto his neck. His shoulders shrug from beneath my arms. “Distracting you, returning the favor.” He says. He shuts his room door closed with his foot.

I cling onto him, feeling his body crouch and lay on the bed. I go to sit up, maneuver myself off of him, but he pulls me closer. “Wanna watch a dumb show again?” I smile, nodding as he grabs his phone out. He props it against his cologne bottle, pressing play on ‘Too Hot To Handle.’ 

His hand comes back, cradling my head to his chest as I listen to the thumps of his heartbeat. 

_

I had woken up to screaming, Chris’s voice echoing in the house. I felt Matt stir from beneath me, pulling me closer as his lips pressed against my head. Soft snores escaped his parted lips, making my heart flutter from the sound. 

I giggle, pushing myself up and off of Matt’s chest. Matt huffs, his hand curling around my entire head, suctioning to my ear. “Ignore them, ‘m sorry.” I laugh at his lazy words, squirming out of his grip. I watch as his eyes squint open, his hands rubbing his face. “Come back.” He voices. 

I lean over him, feeling his arms wrap around my waist as I reach for my phone on his nightstand. I grab the device, pulling myself back. Matt pulls me down, crushing my nose against his chest. “Ow.” I say. His eyes darted open, his face grimacing as I held my nose. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes, his hands untangling from my waist. I move freely, sitting up against his head board. 

6:00 P.M. 

“I need to leave for babysitting soon. I have to walk home and then to Mrs. Evans house.” I say. Matt groans, flipping on his stomach and letting his arm fall over my lap. I laugh, lifting the limb and standing up. Matt’s head pops out from the pillow, his hair aloof. I smile at the sight, watching as he climbs out of bed. 

He walks over to his closest, pulling out a knit, buttoned, purple sweater. He hands it over to me as I grab the fabric hesitantly. “I’m going home, I don’t–” He holds up a hand, “It’s for my own selfish reasons, okay?” I laugh at his bluntness, nodding my head. 

“Can you just cover your eyes or something? I really do need to leave. I probably needed to leave a bit ago, honestly.” I remark. His hands cover his face as he lets his neck drop, facing the ground. I pull off the green hoodie, sighing at the red stain. I let the soft, knit sweater envelope around me. 

It’s so soft. “Oh my god, this is so soft.” I voice. I look down at the fabric that pools over the pajama pants I had yet to change out of. My dry skin admires the smooth fabric, my arms moving without an uncomfortable scratching feeling as I fold the green hoodie. 

Matt reaches out, grabbing the sweatshirt and throwing it onto the opposite side of the bed. “Don’t worry about it. Want some sweats–actually, don’t answer that. I’m giving you sweats.” I laugh at his statement. He pulls a pair of clean sweats down, handing them to me. 

I look at him knowingly. “Oh, yeah.” He covers his face, looking towards the ground. I let the pajamas fall off my legs, pulling on the sweats and tying the drawstring tightly, securing them on my hips to the best of my abilities. The fabric pools at the ground beneath my feet. 

“Uh, Matt?” He unveils his face, looking in the direction of my pointed finger. “I don’t think they–” I stop as he kneels to the floor. His hands reach out, folding the fabric until it comes to my ankle. He does the same to the other side, the neat folds not budging as I wiggle my foot in the air. 

“Thank you,” I said. He nods his head, holding out his hand for me. I place my hand in his, allowing him to guide me to the front door. He slips on his own shoes as I do the same. I look around, the room barren of a single person. “Can you tell your mom I said bye?” 

“Mhm, now let’s go.” I tilt my head at him as he grabs his keys. “Huh? I have to babysit—I’m walking home and then to the place.” He shakes his head. “No–I’m driving you home and then I’m driving you to whatever the address is for the house you’re babysitting at.” He pulls the coat from the coat rack. “--and put this on, you’ll be cold.’’ He pulls out my arm, sliding it in the arms of the coat and doing the same on the other side. 

He steps in front of me, his hands bringing the zipper of the jacket all the way below my chin. “Matt, you don’t need to–” His intense stare makes my words falter. “I’m not letting you walk, let’s go.” He pulls me by the hand out the door and to his car. 

I pull down the zipper, the warmth already becoming overbearing. Matt opens the car door for me as I sit in the passenger seat. He grabs the seatbelt, leaning over me and clicking it in. His eyes fall below my face, his hands reaching out and pulling the zipper. I feel the cold metal brush against my chin as he pulls away, shutting the door softly. 

I laugh quietly to myself, hearing his door open and shut. He turns the heat on, starting to drive. I pull down the zipper. I gasp, feeling the car come to a semi-abrupt stop. “What are you doing! You’re gonna get cold.” Matt mutters, reaching for the zipper. 

I push his hand away. “Matt,” I put his hand on the center console. “I’m sweating, okay? I’m gonna faint from heat exhaustion at this rate.” I state. His lips purse as he sways his head. “Okay.” He says softly, pulling off the brake. 

I watch as he reaches out, turning the AC down. I open up the coat, my fingers fiddling with the hem of the soft sweater. 

_

“Can I have a fourth wish, genie?” He asks. I look over, watching his hands turn the wheel. “Please.” He adds. 

I laugh at the question. “Sure, what’s your wish?” I urge. He pulls onto my street, my house visible from the few streetlights. He pulls over in front of my house, parking the car. He takes the keys out of the ignition, looking over at me. 

“Let me come in?” His eyes wander up. I look back, seeing the wooden house that seems almost abandoned. I sigh, looking back at him as his innocent smile plastered across his face. “Please.” He repeats. I suck in my bottom lip. 

Should I? Is my dad even here? 

“Pleaseeee. I just wanna see your room–plus, parents love me! I’m so cute, look!” He cheeses hard at me, making my giggle ring through the car. “That’s a yes, right? Great, come on!” He doesn’t give me time to respond as he gets out of the car, practically sprinting over to open my door. 

He pulls me up, dragging me to the front door as I pull out my keys. “Wait just one second, okay?” He nods, his arms swinging by his sides impatiently. I crack the door open, seeing nothing but darkness. I flick on the flights, seeing a barren living room. I listen for any sounds, hearing nothing but the wind pushing against the windows. 

I look back at him, nodding for him to follow. I shut the door behind us. “I just need to grab a couple things from my room, my dad might be in his room though–just,” I stop him at the bottom of the stairs. “--wait here for a minute.” He nods. 

I take a deep breath, the stairs creaking beneath my feet as I place one foot in front of the other. Reaching the top, I knock on his door. Silence meets me, but I don’t trust it. I slowly open the door, wincing at a screech of the rusted metal door hinges. 

I peek my head through the door, seeing him. He looks over at me blankly, a cigarette between his lips as he sits on the window sill. “What do you want? He grumbles. I feel my stomach churn at the sight of smoke falling from his lips. I bite back my tongue, shaking my head as I close the door with a soft thud. 

I look down at Matt, motioning for him to follow with my pointer finger pressed against my lips. He nods, walking up the steps quietly. I wait for him to reach the top of the stairs, swallow thickly as I look back at his door. 

I sigh, letting my shoulders sink with defeat. I walk towards my room, opening the door and shutting it as he walks through. I feel a boulder of embarrassment sink in my gut. I watch as his steps falter, scared to move as he analyzes the room. 

The twin mattress is on a cheap, metal frame in the center of the room. A ratted blanket is covering the mattress, the baby blue knitted blanket laying at the top by the singular pillow that lays flat and deflated. 

My anxiety shoots through my body as I watch him turn around. His eyebrows furrow before his lips tug into a slight smile. “Ya know,” he walks over closer to me. “--a stuffed animal would really make this feel more home-y.” He says. 

I tilt my head, holding back a smile. “Shut up.” I mumble, shoving past him and into the sliding closet. I pull out jeans, pulling down a bin full of my underwear. I shuffle around, pulling clothing out and into my hands. 

I hear Matt clear his throat, looking up to see him scratching the back of his neck nervously. He sucks in his lips between his teeth, avoiding my eyes. “You should, um…” I set the clothes down, crossing my arms over my chest. I raise an eyebrow at him as he meets my gaze. “You should bring some clothes over, just in case we wanna have more sleepovers unexpectedly, ya know?” He finishes. 

I hold back a laugh, shaking my head. I grab more underwear and bras out of the bin, placing them in my backpack. “Tired of me stealing all of yours?” I tease. 

“Nope, but I don’t exactly have women's underwear.” He holds up his hands in defense. My cheeks burn as I lick over my teeth. 

“Really?” I ask. My eyes flicker to his, watching as his eyes squint at me. “--I would’ve thought you had tons!” I remark sarcastically. He brings his hand up, smoothing over his forehead. 

“I–” His words are cut off by a pounding on the door. My eyes widen with fear, my fists clenching to my stomach. The door swings open a crack, my dad peeping his head in. “Listen, I’m sorry for–who is this?” He looks over to Matt, opening the door further. 

Matt gives a subtle wave, scratching at the back of his neck shyly. “I’m Matt, nice to meet you.” My dads eyes squint at him, cocking his head to the side. 

“Do I know you?” He asks. Matt shakes his head, “Nope, we just go to school together–I was gonna drive her to her babysitting job.” He answers. My dad hesitantly nods his head, looking back over at me. “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?” He asks, his eyes staring down at me. 

I look back at Matt, giving him a small smile before walking out the open door. I hear my dad close it, dragging me down the hallway gently by my shoulder. “Who is that boy?” He interrogates. I shrug, “Matt–he’s a friend of mine, that’s all.” I answer. He furrowed his eyebrows, raising them as he rubbed his creased forehead. 

“Okay, just–no having sex, okay?” 

“Dad!” I whisper-shout. My eyes bulge out of my head as a heat of embarrassment and anger clouds my body. The audacity. “I can take care of myself, remember?” I spit. He moves his eyes, staring at the wall behind me with a sullen look on his face. 

“I…” he huffs. “--’m sorry, okay? I’m trying, I’m really fucking trying. I just–it’s really hard when you look more like her everyday. It hurts. I swear, I only bought cigs to curb the craving, okay? I…I never want to hurt you, not again.” He grabs out, caressing my forearm with his bottom lip pouted. 

My eyes swell with tears. Relief makes my breath fall with my shoulders. I look like her. Is that a blessing or a curse? “I…” I suck in a breath. “--I’ll do better with staying out of your business.” I say. He mumbles gratitude under his breath, patting my shoulder. 

“Okay, get to your babysitting whatnot. Are you coming home tonight?” He asks. I shrug, watching as he nods softly, walking in his own bedroom and closing the door. I sigh deeply, letting my feet float back to my room. 

I open the door, watching as Matt sits on my bed. His hand is caressing over the baby blue blanket with a soft face. “Ready to go?” He asks. I nod my head. 

I let my hand reach out. He stands up, walking over and placing his hand in mine. I smile at the comforting touch. He grabs my backpack from the floor, tossing it on his shoulder. I step out, leading us back down and out the door. 

_

I had put the address into his phone, holding it up for him to see the directions. Once he had parked on the side of the street, he sprinted out and opened my door for me. I grab his hand, giggling as he pulls me out of the car. 

My heart feels warm, my chest feels light, everything seems to be getting better. It’s not gonna last though, is it?

I shake off the thought as he walks me to the door. “Thank you for driving me. Really, you didn’t have to.” I say. He shrugs his shoulders, pulling me into his side. Before he can say anything, the front door swings open, revealing Mrs. Evans and her husband. 

“Hello! Oh–hi, Matt!” Mrs. Evans greets. Her husband grumbles something about getting the car from the garage, walking past us with a friendly smile. She grabs a purse, her sweater and jeans contrasting with her typical attire at school. She fixes her earring before clasping her hands together. “Will Hailey be having another buddy to hang out with, hm?” She questions. 

I watch as little hands grab at Mrs. Evans side, a small girl peeping her head around. Her brown, curly hair is done up in two pigtails with beads. Her brown skin, like most kids, looks buttery-soft. Her doe eyes look like honey from the porch light gleaming down on her. “I like your hair.” I compliment. The little girl blushes, hiding her face behind Mrs. Evans legs. 

“I get two friends, mom?!” Hailey exclaims, tugging on Mrs. Evans sweater. I let out an awkward laugh. “Well, he’s not staying, it’s just me.” I explain. Hailey’s smile falters, her eyes landing on Matt. 

“You don’t wanna be my friend?” Her eyes are teary as Matt immediately shakes his head. “No–I’d love to be your friend…” His eyes darted to mine with panic. “He’s just busy–” Hailey cuts me off, tugging Matt’s hand inside. 

Mrs. Evans laughs, holding her purse tightly as she rummages through the bag quickly. “The envelope on the counter is for you. I think I have everything,” she looks over, headlights beaming from behind me. “Okay, our reservation is in like ten minutes and it’s a fifteen minute drive. We’ll be back in around two hours-ish?” She walks off. “Just text if you need anything! Matt’s welcome to stay with you!” She winks before shutting the car door. 

I bite back a smile as I wave, walking into the house and shutting the door. I look up, my eyes bulging and my hand slapping over my mouth. I attempt to hold back the giggles, seeing Matt with wide-eyes sitting on the couch, Hailey decorating his hair with colorful beads and bows. 

“Do I look pretty?” He nervously asks. I nod, sitting on the couch next to him. “Very.” I answer. “You don’t, you don’t have to stay.” I point out. He shakes his head, “I want to, well–if that’s okay with you.” I nod my head, leaning my head on his shoulder as Hailey hums a song while fiddling with the bows in his hair above us. 

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[cherriesformatt]

Quiet 12

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11

pairing: y/n and Matt sturniolo

summary: a girl with a lot of baggage and a boy with even more try to help put each others pieces back together one by one. A story about a girl who’s broken and a boy who doesn’t talk

warnings: mentions of drinking, suggestive, mentions of being drunk

-------------------------------------------------------

"Wednesday" I stated. Matt glanced up at me hesitantly. I shifted next to him. "I upset you" I breathed. He looked back down. I tilted my head to look at his face. His eyes glanced over at me reluctantly, like he didn’t want to look at me.

"Can you tell me why?" I whispered. He took in a breath and looked away from me. "Chris made it pretty clear, I upset you" I spoke again remembering the way he screamed at me in the parking lot. I swallowed.

Matt looked down.

"Tell me Matt" I pleaded desperate to get an answer out of him. His face twisted and he opened his mouth and closed it along with his eyes. He softly shook his head.

I sighed of defeat and turned away from him. Matt looked over at me.

I just glanced down at my book, forgoing the entire conversation. I can't be sorry if I didn't know what I did. Matt wouldn't even tell me.

He reached over and wrote on his notebook. I looked over.

You and Jake, are you guys together?

I stared down at the sentence. Matt didn't look up at me. All he did was stare at the sentence that he wrote. I licked my lips and looked down at the page.

"I don't know Matt. He-" I took in a breath. "I don't know what we are" I mumbled. He looked up to me, I stared back down at my book. He pursed his lips and wrote again on the page.

for someone who doesn't know, he sure does like to kiss you a lot

I looked down at the words before I looked up at Matt. He stared at me. I smacked my lips before turning back to my book.

"Before you ask" I spoke. "That's all we did--kiss." I spoke honestly. It's all that happened. Just a lot of kissing. Matt stared at me before going back to the page.

I wasn't going to ask

I blinked down at the words and I just turned.

"He's nicer than you think you know. He's...." I set down my book. Matt had his eyes trained on me.

"He's not like his friends" I shook my head. Matt sighed and looked down before writing one last thing.

I'll have to take your word for it

I bit my lip and turned away wanting this conversation to end. I tapped my finger against the book over and over, reading none of the words on the page.

"So the party..." I whispered without looking up. He glanced over to me. "Are you gonna come?" I asked raising my head.

I could have sworn when the words left my mouth he looked sick to his stomach. Like a million thoughts filled behind his eyes. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and he looked down at his page.

"You don't have to---" I shook my head. "I can just..." I sighed. "Come over after" I suggested. He looked up at me and closed his eyes.

He shook his head.

I stared at him and he glared down at his page before shaking his head again. It only took a few seconds before he grabbed his things and stood up and left.

-

I pulled my skirt down feeling as if my legs were too much on display. I'd stared myself in the mirror for what felt like an hour. Attempting to find my nicest clothes that would match what everyone else might be wearing at the party.

Here I was at 17 and I had no idea what people wore to parties. I'd never been to one before. I wrapped my arms around myself.

I wondered what my mom would think in these moments. If she'd be proud of me for putting myself out there. For going to party. With a boy. I chuckled to myself.

I nodded in the mirror.

You look fine Y/n. You look pretty.

My mom's voice came through and I smiled and that was enough to grab my stuff and walk out the door to the party. If even Matt wasn't coming with me. I could do this. Still I paused before reaching for the doorknob. I shook my head.

And I walked in.

I took in a breath as I attempting to move out of the way of people. I ducked and turned apologizing as I walked through the room trying to find a familiar face. So far I saw no one.

Until I felt someone wrap their arm around my waist over my exposed stomach. Their face was pressed into my neck, kissing softly.

"You made it"

I chuckled and turned until we faced each other. Jake's eyelids were drooped and he held one arm out that held his drink.

"Hi" I whispered. "Hi" He breathed back pressing his lips to mine. I kissed him softly before parting from him. He pulled at my side.

"Come on, everyone's over here" He said motioning behind me. I nodded as he replaced his grip on my side, to my hand and dragged me through the crowd.

People glanced at us. I met some of their eyes. Some whispered, some people's eyes widened. I ducked my head down and squeezed Jake's hand tighter. We finally made it into the living room before I saw everyone sitting looking around.

I smiled and waved as I stood next to Jake.

"Jake I was wondering where you ran off too" Tyler turned to look at us. Jake looked down at me.

"Sit with me" He mumbled down to me. I nodded as I looked up at him. We moved to the couch before I sat down next to him.

He smiled and his hand found it's place on the inside of my leg, pulling it towards him. I closed my legs quickly so that I wasn't exposed to those sitting around us. I felt my face heaten.

"You look cute"

I turned and met Lacey's stare. She was sitting on Gavin's lap. I averted my eyes from widening. She wasn't smiling, she just stared as she sipped from her drink.

"Thank you" I breathed straighting out my top. Her eyes glanced down to Jake's hand on my leg. She pursed her lip and dropped her drink from her lips.

"You drink?" She asked.

I blinked at her before shaking my head. She stared and her eyes glanced over me. Jake leaned in me.

"Do you want me to get you a drink Y/n?" He said softly. I looked over at him.

"No, I'm okay right now" I smiled softly. He nodded and shifted his shoulder behind mine so that I was leaning against his chest slightly. I sighed.

"I wanna play a game" Lacey stood from her seat on Gavin. Gavin groaned. "You always wanna play a game, come back and sit" He reached for her. She ripped from his touch. I swallowed and closed my eyes.

Nadia sat up from where she sat.

"Game! Yay! Tyler game" She reached and pulled Tyler's attention. Tyler slowly turned to Nadia, blinking slowly. Jake sighed and leaned against me.

"They're all wasted. Don't pay attention" He mumbled into my ear. I turned and looked at him. "Are you?" I whispered. "Drunk?” I glanced over his eyes.

“—Or wasted I mean" I stumbled over my words. He sighed and set down his drink.

"I've had a few drink, I'm fine" He smiled pressing his lips against my face. I let out a breath and nodded feeling a sickening feeing in my stomach. I don’t know what I was thinking.

"Game. You in skinny?" Lacey tilted her head at me. My gut clenched. Nadia hit her. "You promised" She snapped glaring at her. I looked between them feeling frozen in my skin.

"It was a joke" She chuckled. "You knew it was a joke right?" She turned to me and raised her eyebrows. Everyone turned to me. I forced a smile.

Friends, Friends, Friends.

"Y-Yeah" I nodded. Lacey nodded and turned back to the table. Jake took in a breathed and gripped my leg.

"Yeah-Yeah Lacey stop being such a cunt and play the game huh?" He snapped at her. She glared up at him. They stared at each other for a minute.

"Fine, hand me the deck" She glared at Jake, holding her hand out for Gavin. Gavin sighed and bend down before handing her a deck of cards.

"What game is this?" I asked turning to Jake. Jake kept glaring at Lacey. Lacey slapped down the deck of cards.

"Easy" Lacey snapped my attention. "Grab a card, read what it says, do it or drink" She smiled. I blinked at her before snapping out of it and nodding.

"Ladies go first" She slid the deck to me. I blinked up at Jake and he just looked at me, as everyone did. I swallowed as I reached down and picked up the first one on top.

My eyes glanced over it.

"Tell a secret, or drink."

I felt sick. I looked up at Lacey. She smiled and raised her eyebrows. I looked over at Jake as I set down the card. "Well?" Lacey crossed her arms over her chest. I looked at the ground.

"Um.." I thought. A secret? I looked up at the drinks layed against the table in front of us. Each one looking less appetizing than the next.

"It doesn't have to be a huge one, Y/n" Jake leaned into me. I tapped my foot and nodded.

"I--" I shook my head. "I--accidently killed my hamspter when I was 7" I nodded remembering the first thing I could. They blinked at me. Lacey shook her head and Nadia chuckled.

"Damn" Tyler chuckled. "Boring" Lacey announced before picking up at card herself and sighing as her eyes glanced over the words.

"Kiss someone you've previously hooked up with or drink" She read. Her eyes looked up at mine. She smiled before she stood and walked over to where I was sitting. My eyes widened before she leaned down and then I realized who she was going for.

"Lace-" Jake mumbled before she pressed her lips to his, while his hand still rested on my legs. My eyes widened and I felt my heart start to beat as I stared at their lips connected.

Jake?

They’d hooked up?

I looked away from them as she parted and chuckled.

Jake looked down at me. I didn't look up at him suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. I looked up at Nadia who looked sadly at me. I pulled my leg from his touch and Jake sighed.

"Y/n" He breathed trying to get my attention.

I’d knew Lacey had just done it to embarrass me, and it worked. I just don’t know why Jake never mentioned it before.

"Who's next?" Lacey smiled. Nadia leaned forward before taking a card.

The game went on like this. Jake stopped trying to get my attention and I just listened and watched as Nadia gave Tyler a lap dance, Jake downed a shot, and Tyler and Gavin wrestled on the ground.

"Your turn" Lacey pushed the card towards me. I sighed before picking up another card. I clenched my jaw as I started to read the card.

"Take off your shirt or drink" I read. Tyler leaned back. "This should be good" He chuckled. Jake glared at him. I pursed my lips as Lacey held back a laugh. I placed the card down before reaching for the bottle in front of me.

"Cop-out" Lacey mumbled. I glared at her before bringing the bottle up to my lips. At first it didn't taste like anything as I drank it like water, it going down so easily.

"Not----that much" Jake grabbed the bottle from me.

Then it burned.

I coughed as the foul tasted hit me like a ton of bricks. I leaned forward as my hand came to my throat, attempting to wipe away the burning from the outside.

Jake put his hand on my back.

"Are you okay?" He breathed. I sat up and looked at everyone'e eyes on me. "I'm fine" I snapped. He sighed and took his hand off my back.

Lacey wasn't winning. I wasn't going to let her. She could try to embarrass me with this cards all night, but I was just going to drink every time.

-

I was smiling. Genuinely smiling. It felt so good. I giggled as Jake leaned over me as I layed against the couch.

Everyone forgot about the game a few minutes ago.Lacey pre-occupied with Gavin and Nadia with Tyler, their conversations drowing out through everyone else in the house.

"There are a lot of people in your house" I giggled. He nodded and smiled. "There is" He smiled and nodded. I sighed and closed my eyes. Everything felt like it was fuzzing, like the muscles under my skin were bubbling, keeping me warm.

"Are you okay?" His hand came over my hip. I nodded and smiled, my eyes still closed.

"'M happy" I chuckled blinking my eyes open. "Your happy?" He asked chuckling. I nodded as I looked up at him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you today" Jake breathed as he looked down at me. I smiled and pointed to myself. "Me?" I chuckled. He nodded and closed his eyes. I sighed and looked off.

“I wish Matt was here, he would like feeling this--I feel free" I said as I spread my arms out. Jake pursed his lips and looked down at me.

"You know he's into you right?"

I looked up at him. "Matt?" I asked my eyes widening. He nodded. I shook my head and giggled. Everything just felt funny.

"No-Matt he's....not into anything" I chuckled shaking my head. Jake stared down at me.

"He's into you. I can see it in the way he glares at me" He chuckled. I shook my head furrowing my eyebrows. "I would know Jake. He-He would have told me" I chuckled, leaning into Jake's arm. Jake's gaze just followed me.

"Alright, no more drinks for you" He brushed hair behind my ear. I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm. He smiled as he leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine softly. I smiled as I kissed him back.

"Do you wanna go upstairs? It's quieter up there, somewhere for you to lay down" He mumbled against my lips. I smiled and nodded. He smiled before leaning up and helping me up off the couch. I leaned into him as he held me up as we walked out of the room.

I felt like my body was as light as a feather. I couldn’t stop smiling. This was great. Jake was great.

I chuckled as we made it to the stairs. He held my hand as we walked up the steps. I stumbled missing one of the steps. My hand grasped the rail. Has stairs always been this hard?

"Are you okay?" He laughed pulling me up. I nodded as we continued to walk. He pulled me into this room before he closed the door.

His hands came to my waist and his lips came down on me. I kissed him back and smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands came over my hips, gripping my skirt.

As I kissed him back, my hands coming over his hands. I knew my skirt was riding up, and I didn’t want to be on full display.

He released his grip and his hand came under my skin and he guided me towards his bed continuing to kiss me.

I laid down before he crawled over me. He smiled as he pushed his tonuge in my mouth sloppily. His hand pulled my leg up before his hand grazed my knee and trailed down my leg.

He moved his lips to my neck. I looked up at the ceiling.

"D-Did you really hook up with Lacey?" I breathed as I remembered the events from earlier. He lifted for a moment.

"It was a long time ago" He mumbled before he pressed his lips harder agaisnt my neck. I blinked at the ceiling.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" My eyebrows furrowed. He sighed and he looked up at me. "It wasn't relevant. We weren't ever together" He explained his hand gripping my chin. I looked up at him.

"Okay?" he breathed. I nodded. His lips returned to my neck and he bit down. I swallowed as pictures of Matt's face flushed through my mind. The way his eyes looked over my neck.

He let out a hard breath before he leaned over and tightened the strings to my hoodie to conceal my neck and tapped to his own neck. The same place where a mark laid on my own neck. As if to say:

Hide your hickeys better, I can see them.

"D-Don't give me hickeys" I quickly spoke. Jake lifted his head and his hands pushed throught my hair. "Why?" He questioned staring down at me.

I don't want Matt to see them.

"My-My dad. I don't want him--to see” I shook my head and closed my eyes. He sighed before he pressed his lips back to mine. I kissed him back trying to shut off my mind. I was drunk. I didn't know what drunk felt like, but this had to be it. The room was spinning. My mind was racing.

His hands came over both my legs before he pushed up my shirt and his hand trailed under my bra. I shifted under him, just trying to focus on kissing him back. He bit down on my lip.

"You’re so.." He mumbled and his hand came over my breast. I shuttered uncomfortably under his touch. No one had ever touched me like this before. “Hot” he finished squeezing down on me. I felt my body freeze.

His hand trailed the bottom of my skirt and passed under it.

I tore my lips from his. “Jake, wait” I breathed looking up at him. He stared down at me. “Let me make you feel good” He responded shortly before kissing the side of my face. I felt my breath quicken as his hands went back behind my bra, attempting to unclip it.

"Jake" I pushed his hand away. His hand came out from under my shirt. I sat up and looked down as he climbed off me.

"What?" He asked from behind me. I swallowed and pulled my skirt down suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"What?" He asked again. I bit my lip and looked down shaking my head. Why am I freaking out? I was freaking out. I couldn’t do this. I was drunk. I was drunk. I was drunk.

He took in a hard breath.

"I just feel--I feel like--" I was choking on my words scared to even look back up at him. "It's a little fast for me. I-I-" Find your words. Find your words, Y/n. Don’t freak out.

"I've just drank and we shouldn't--"

"Why does that matter? Are you not not into me?" He spoke from behind me. I closed my eyes. I felt like my skin burned where he had touched me.

Plane rides, quiet nights, sleep

"I just-It's a little fast don't you think? I mean are we even together? I don’t know when we switched from friends to—" I stuttered turning and looking at him. He gapped at me and shook his head.

"We're having this conversation now?" He asked shaking his head.

"Well-I dont know? I’ve never done this. I don’t know what I’m doing” I shook my head.

"We're hooking up? Was that not what you wanted?" He said glaring at me. I could feel him start to get angry and my heart beat against my chest.

I looked down and my eyes watered. "I don't know what I want right now. I—" I shook my head. He took in a breath.

Reading, books, being sober.

"Are you kidding me?” I snapped. “Not what you want?” He snapped. “Y/n, it’s not that big of a deal” He shook his head. I just stared at the ground, unable to speak

"Is it that stupid mute kid? Is that what this is about? Did he get into your head?" He threw his hands up. I shook my head.

"Matt he's--"

"I gave you an in y/n. An in to my group--to a good highschool social life, you should thank me. Now you're sick of it? Now it’s too much?" He snapped. I swallowed and shook my head.

"I didn't realize--"

"What? Did you think I just liked hearing you talk?" He snapped. I closed my eyes and my hands came over my face. Disappear, Disappear.

"Do you know how many girl want to be in your postion right now? Do you know who I am to these people?" I stayed silent as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

“Jake I’m sorry” I whispered quietly. He took in a breath. “I didn’t mean to make you think-“ I turned to him.

"Come back or get out" He said. I looked up at him. He stared at me with a straight face. I opened my mouth before looking back down at my shoes.

I shook my head as I stood up off the bed and held in my emotions before I shut the door and walked down the stairs. I felt my eyes fill with tears as the loud music came back over my ears.

I swallowed as I blink just trying to focus, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t even walk down the steps without gripping the railing. I closed my eyes. Why did I do this to myself?

I pushed off the railing.

“You’re fine you’re fine” I whispered shaking my head. I pushed through people. Outside, just get outside.

I stumbled against the door harshly as I ripped it open.

Jake’s words played in my mind. The way he gripped me.

And I threw up.

-

I don't know how I got here but I did. It's like my feet knew where I was going before I did. I cried most of the way here. I knew my mascara had to be running. The walk was shorter that I remembered. But I didn’t remember most of the walking itself.

It was zigzagged and blurry.

You could have told me I teleported here and I would have believed you. Everything was still fuzzy. I hope Matt wouldn’t be mad that I was here.

Would be mad?

Tears sprung to my eyes.

Matt mad.

I knocked on the door softly. I stood back and wiped my nose as I stared at the door. My ears still buzzing from the loudness of the party I was just at. I couldn’t think. I barely had a strain of thoughts.

I knew Matt didn’t want me to come here after the party. But I couldn’t go home. I just couldn’t. I stared at the door. No one was coming. I looked down.

I couldn’t walk all the way home now, there’s no way I would make it. I knocked again, harder.

“Please Matt” I whispered. Nothing. I bit my lip and sat down leaning against the door. I sighed as I brought my hands up to my face.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Why did you ever go to that party without Matt? What were you thinking? You didn’t know those people? Matt was right. God Matt was so right it hurt.

A few seconds later I felt the door open the door opened, I fell back before I looked up

Matt looked down at me, his eyes and mouth wide. I quickly sat up and stumbled up to my feet. Matt reached out and steadied me. I blinked up at him, humiliation all over my face.

I looked down.

“Please don’t be mad at me” My eyes filled with tears. He sighed and dropped his hands from me as I reached up and wiped my tears.

I looked up at him.

“I didn’t have fun at the party” I shook my head. He closed his eyes as sadness filled his face. I walked forward before pressing my head against his chest and hugging him.

He froze against me as I tried to take in a deep breath. His arms finally rested around me. He sighed as he leaned his head over mine. His hands rubbing my back.

“Matt, I’m so stupid.” I mumbled against him. He pulled me back before looking down at me. I turned away from him.

“I don’t look—-pretty right now. Don’t look at me” I said reaching up and wiping my tears. He grabbed my hands before pushing them down and his thumbs came under my eyes before wiping away the tears, replacing my owns I just looked up at him. His eyes met mine and he gave a sad smile.

I sighed and he grabbed my arm before pulling me into the house. I stumbled slightly and I reached up for his arm.

“Matt I—I don’t feel good” I whispered. His eyes widened and he held me up.

“I’m sorry” I apologized as I leaned into him. "Please tell me Chris isn't-" I hiccuped. "--Here, he'll yell. I'm tired of....yelling" I sighed as we walked through the hallway. Matt furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at me.

Matt pulled me into his room before he let me go, I fell down onto my knees and whined, like I couldn’t hold up my own body weight. Matt bent down with wide eyes before pushing my face up. His eyes scanned my face, as if checking for any injuries.

"Please don't be mad" I said closing my eyes. "I'm really--" I swallowed. "Drunk" I sighed as I laid against the floor. I blinked up at him and he took in a breath, closing his eyes as he sat down on the floor next to me.

I stared up at the ceiling. His hand came over my head as he moved the hair from my face. I swallowed as I turned and looked at him. He smiled softly. I leaned into his hand.

“I don’t know why you like me so much” I whispered. He just bit his lip. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend” I whispered. He lifted his hand from me before grabbing my arms and pulling me to a sitting position.

"I want you to talk to me" I breathed staring up at him. He just stared at me. "I just want to hear your voice Matt. I-" I felt my eyes fill up with tears.

"Just please tell me you're not mad at me." I whined. He stood up before grabbing my arms and pulling me up to my feet. I fell against him and his arms came around my waist. I sighed as I looked up at him. He stared down at me.

"I know you didn't want me to come over, but I--" I bit my lip. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go” I whispered.

"I don't like Jake anymore" I whispered shaking my head. He just looked at me. "He's not..." I closed my eyes. "He's not nice" I laid my head against him. I let out a breath.

"He's not like you" I whispered. He froze against me breifly, I barely felt it with the room going in out a focus. I groaned against him. He grabbed my waist before walking me over to his bed, I fell against the sheet.

He moved to unlace my shoes and I just watched him as the threw them on the floor. He pulled the covers over my body and looked down at me. His hand slightly went to brush the hair out of my face, but he froze.

I reached up and grabbed his hand before pressing it to my face and leaning against his warmth. He just watched me as if he was suprised from my action.

“You know what’s werid…” I whispered. He raised his eyebrows as he looked down at me. “Jake said that you were into me” I swallowed. I felt Matt’s hand freeze.

“I told him that he was crazy because—-I would know right?” I looked up at him. He didn’t react. “I feel like I would know. Because you put all your emotions on your face” I looked up at him. He turned away his cheeks pinkening.

"Do you like being my friend?" I whispered. He looked down at me for a second before nodding. I leaned against the pillow, dropping his hand from my face, but still holding it.

"He said he didn't like hearing me talk" I mumbled. Matt watched me. I closed my eyes. "He didn't want me to talk" I breathed. Matt's eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you feel that way too? Do I talk too much?" I asked my eyes filling with tears. He shook his head instantly before kneeling beside the bed. I looked at him and shook his head more. I sighed.

"Your eyes are blue" I smiled as I looked over his eyes. He smiled and shook his head.

"Sometimes when I looked at Jake's eyes--I'd imagine your eyes instead. Isn't that insane?" I asked glancing over at him. He stared blankly at me his mouth slightly parted and his eyes glanced over mine.

Our faces were inches apart. I swallowed as I stared at him feeling bubbling in my stomach. I swallowed.

"Is that insane?" I asked softer. He shook his head his eyes not leaving mine. Silence filled the room around us. I felt my heart beating hard against my chest and I felt our hands more than I should.

We just looked at each other. Like the other person was the only other one in the world. I glanced down his face. From his glasses to the tip of his nose, to his parted lips.

I just watched him and before I knew it I leaned forward slightly. As if my body was begging me to close the few inches left between us.

I felt his lips graze mine, his slightly brushing against my own. Then before they actually touched, they were gone. I froze. I blinked my eyes open. He swallowed as he pulled his hand from mine and sat back.

He pulled back. He pulled away.

We just stared at each other, like the other was as equally shocked at the others movements. His eyes wide as he looked at me. He closed his eyes and looked down as guilt filled his face.

I felt embarrassment wash over me like a truck. I felt sick to my stomach.

He pulled back from connecting our lips.

I'd tried to kiss him and he pulled back.

He hadn't wanted to kiss me.

I sat up and looked down wrapping my arms around myself, unable to look at him. I felt like I was gonna throw up again.

"I'm so sorry. I-I don't know why I did that" I shook my head turning away from him so he didn't see the tears lining my eyes. The shear embarrassment that was radiating off my face.

For a second there was silence I could feel him looking at me. I closed my eyes wanting to disappear, wanting to punch myself in the face for everything I’ve done tonight. I felt like an idiot.

He stood up before taking in a breath.

He leaned over before writing something. He set it down next to me. I avoided looking at it as he walked out of the room.

I stared down at my hands as I felt a tear fall down the bridge of my nose as I heard the door shut. I reached up and wiped it.

I finally glanced at the paper sitting there once I knew he wasn't coming back.

get some sleep y/n

I closed my eyes and turned over hugging the covers too me, hoping this night would erase from my memory by the morning as I drifted off into sleep with Matt's scent surrounding me. As I slept in his bed, under his covers, without him.

[cherriesformatt]

So sweet thank you for taking my request it was amazing!

aw of course!!! I’m so happy you liked it 🍒

[cherriesformatt]

Hi could I request Matt x reader

They are in their senior year of Highschool and it’s prom season.The reader is sad because she never had any romance in her life and dreams of a promposal.Matt really likes the reader and even though he doesn’t like bring attention to him he surprises the reader.

promposal || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

warnings: none, fluff!

word count: 1,1k

a/n: I hope you like it and I did not ruin the idea!

🍒

I came home and tossed my bag and car keys on the cubby.

"Hi! I'm home!" I yelled to check if anyone was back from work or in case of my brother from school.

Only echo answered me and I sight of relief because the last thing I wanted was to small talk with everyone how my day was.

I went to my room, stripped from my clothes and wrapped my body in white, fluffy robe. I took change of clothes, my phone and dragged my feet to my parents master bathroom. They had huge bath tube and my mom had all those fancy stuff from TikTok to make a relaxing bath.

I made myself one with lots of bubbles and got in. I didn’t put any bath bomb or candles because it would give me a headache. The only thing I did was putting music on from my phone on the speaker in the bathroom.

I hated today. And all of this week to be honest.

It was this time of the year again. Senior year to be specific. Thats why I hated it even more because it's the last time ever for that.

For prom.

Everyone including my best friends were proposed to go to prom by their boyfriends. In every cute way possible. I was only there to fake smile and be happy for them but also a little jealous. Because here is the thing.

I was always so focused on school and soccer that I never, ever let any boy near me. It is a miracle that my best friends are still my friends. I was single through all high school, never went on any date and when I rejected some boys no-one asked me again. Which brings us here, I also was never asked to go for a prom. This time it was a little sad because it is going to be my last prom.

"I hate myself" I said and made my body to go under hot water while Frank Ocean was playing in the room.

I stayed like that for a second but I heard my music stopped for a massage notification so I sat back up and took my phone from the ground next to the bath tube splashing some water on the floor.

I checked the massage and I was a little surprised. It was from Matt Sturniolo. I knew him because his brother Chris was dating my best friend Maggie. He sometimes drives us to parties or games. He and his triplet brothers played hockey and lacrosse in our school. They were pretty good. Nick also did our yearbook this year. Matt and I never really had any class together and beside knowing him as Chris's brother I didn't really spend time with him. He didn’t usually stay at parties after games and even if he did he spent time with his team mates I did with mine.

I smiled a little. Was he kind of asking me out? What should I do?

Wasn't I just complaining that nobody asked me out?

And I said yes.

What am I even going to wear? It’s march and it’s going to be cold on the beach.

I spend and hour in the bath and than I ate early dinner and started to get ready.

I did blow out on my hair and put a light make up on. I didn’t want to look like I care too much. I put some jeans on and a hoodie with white Air Force 1. They had blue flowers custom painted for me on them by one of my friends.

When I got a text massage from Matt that he is waiting outside a little before 7 I told my parents I’m leaving and took my purse and locked the door behind me.

He was leaning on his car and smiled when he saw me. He looked nice. We kinda matched the outfits. He also was wearing a hoodie and jeans and white air forces.

“Hi… it’s nice to see you not on the field next to mine” he said.

That’s true. We usually just had practice or a game next to each other.

“Same to you… you stole my outfit tho” I laughed as he opened car doors for me.

“I can live with matching your outfit” He smiled looking at me and he closed the doors and went to the driver seat.

We drove to the beach talking about everything and nothing. Mostly about sports and music and the midterms.

“We’re here let’s go?” He smiled when we parked.

I got out of the car and he came to me.

“Okay I know it will sound weird but can you close your eyes? And not peek?” Ha asked me.

He was nervous?

“Okay…. But if you want to kill me my dad is going to find you and probably kill your brother for accident” I said closing my eyes and sticking my hand out for him.

He giggled at what I said and toon my hand to lead me.

Sun was setting already so it is going to be dark soon. I’m not sure what we are doing here.

I heard some sounds as we were walking on the sand but mostly it was sound of the ocean.

“Okay I’m going to let go of your hand… don’t open your eyes just yet” he said.

He dropped my hand and I stand waiting for him to tell me to open my eyes. I heard some voices too.

What the hell is happening.

“Okay… you can open your eyes now” Matt said from somewhere in front of me.

I opened my eyes and they automatically widened.

There was some lanterns going up into the sky. Like I my favorite movie.

Tangled.

I looked at them and then down to see where they are coming from. Whole lacrosse and hockey team were putting them up.

There he was standing in the middle with a poster that said:

Light up my night at prom?

And there was a painting of the tower from the movie. It was beautiful. I bet Maggie did it.

Nobody ever did anything like that for me.

“Matt what the hell?” I said coming up to him I’m pretty sure I had tears in my eyes now.

“Sooo?” He looked at me unsure of my reaction.

“Of course..” I said looking at him and wiped my cheeks with my hoodies sleeve.

Whole teams started cheering and I laughed.

“How did you even know? That I like the movie…” I asked.

“Well I talked to Chris and Chris talked to Maggie and you know…” he scratched back of his neck.

“Gosh I feel like I could kiss you right now…” I whispered.

He smiled and put one of his hands on my cheek and the other one wondered on my back to pull me closer to him. He looked deep in my eyes looking for reassurance but I just connected our lips together.

It couldn’t get any better. The best promposal I could ask for.

[cherriesformatt]

Quality time | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where Matt skips Tara Yummy's 1M party to have quality time with his girlfriend.

Warning: None.

Requested?: Yes, by anon.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Matt's car glided through the moonlit streets of Los Angeles as he headed toward Y/N's apartment after dropping off his brothers at Tara Yummy's 1 million celebration party. The radio played the playlist created by him and Y/N, which they constantly fed with new songs that reminded themselves of each other.

Matt smiled as he looked to the little surprise he had prepared for his girlfriend. He made a brief stop at a flower shop on the way, where he bought a simple bouquet of pink tulips - Y/N's favorite. His eyes momentarily found the bouquet carefully wrapped and placed on the passenger seat before returning his gaze to the road.

Upon arriving at the building where Y/N lived, his access to the parking lot was quickly granted, the doorman already knowing him very well. The boy didn't take long to take the bouquet in hand, locking the doors and taking the elevator to the corresponding floor.

The sound of the keys against the front door lock sounded faintly through the living room, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing seconds later, Matt quickly taking off his shoes and resting them against the wall.

"Baby?" His voice echoed through the walls, expanding to the nearest rooms, while his eyes quickly surrounded the space, searching for the girl.

"Kitchen!" Y/N shouted back, an involuntary smile growing on her face almost automatically, her body reacting to Matt's presence.

Matt made his way to the kitchen and found Y/N with her back to him, focused on the counter as she moved her arms over the ceramics. With a smile on his face, he approached her silently and hugged her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his hands on her stomach covered by her hoodie and little green apron.

"Hi, pretty boy." Y/N murmured softly, rubbing her hands together to shake off the flour before wrapping her arms around his, caressing the hoodie-covered skin. "I thought you were going to Tara's party."

"Without my girl? Never." He responded in a low tone against her neck, laying his head on her right shoulder so that his face was facing her neck and sealing her jaw gently. "I brought you something." Matt pulled away slightly and retrieved the bouquet he had rested on the table.

Y/N turned to him with eyes full of curiosity and confusion, which soon turned into pure ecstasy, her heart overflowing with love.

"Oh my... Matt, they're beautiful!" The girl beamed, accepting the bouquet and cradling it in her arms as if it was a newborn.

"I always bring you flowers, I don't know how you still react so surprised." Matt murmured jokingly, smiling as he watched her enjoy the little gift.

As Y/N carefully arranged the tulips in a new ceramic vase, Matt approached the oven to peek at what she was preparing. The delicious aroma of freshly baked cookies filled the air, making his stomach growl with anticipation.

"Did you make cookies?" The boy asked excitedly.

"Yes! I was baking it to take it to you tomorrow." Y/N nodded quickly, returning to her starting position. "Do you want some, hon?"

"Yes, please."

Matt watched in awe as Y/N bent slightly, opening the stove door and carefully taking out the baking tray with her hand covered in the soft yellow fabric glove, resting it on the counter.

He knew he was lucky to have someone so incredible in his life, someone who cared about making every moment special.

The girl rose to her tiptoes after closing the oven, opening the cabinet above the stove and retrieving two dessert plates designed with little strawberries. She placed them side by side next to the tray before taking a small spatula and moving two cookies to each plate carefully, afraid of breaking or dropping them.

Matt walked over, taking one of the cookies from the tray with the tip of his fingertips, ignoring the slight burn from the high temperature. He lifted his own hand, blowing on the sweet before biting off a piece, closing his eyes automatically and letting out a sigh of pleasure through his nose. The way the cookie was still warm made it melt in his mouth, the chocolate exploding against his tongue, multiplying the variety of flavors.

"Is it good?" Y/N giggled, watching him with a smile gracing her face, receiving a quick nod with wide blue eyes. "Come on, baby."

She took the plates in her hands delicately, leaving her kitchen and walking to the balcony with Matt following close behind as he licked his fingers, removing all the chocolate residue.

The night was cool and clear, with the sky dotted with twinkling stars. The couple snuggled into the cushioned chairs that decorated the small space, Matt quickly reaching for the pink blanket that was folded on the small table on the right corner, opening it and throwing it over his and his girlfriend's legs, protecting them against the light breeze.

"Oh! Matt, remember the dog constellation I was telling you about the other day?" Y/N's excited voice cut through the comfortable silence, her eyes lighting up just like the stars above them.

"Sirios? No, wait, Sirius... Right?" Matt frowned, a cute look of confusion spreading across his face as his eyes darted from Y/N to the sky and back again.

"Exactly! Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky. Right there." The girl raised her arm that wasn't holding her plate, pointing her index finger upwards.

Matt looked in the indicated direction, navigating through the stars for a few seconds until he found it.

"Wait, it's actually beautiful. What else do you know about it?"

Y/N smiled truthful, her heart warming at being able to talk more about something she loved so much, without having restrictions or feeling ashamed for her excitement.

"Well, Sirius is a binary star, which means it is actually two stars orbiting around each other. It is part of the constellation Canis Major, the Greater Dog, and is known as 'The Dog Stars'. Oh, oh! Do you remember Sirius Black? My favorite Harry Potter character? So, this star..."

Matt listened intently, slowly chewing the small cookie pieces while keeping his eyes fixed on Y/N. Her passion for astronomy and the universe always fascinated him, and there wasn't a time when she brought up the subject that he wasn't willing to give her his full attention.

As the night progressed, Matt and Y/N continued to stargaze, lost in conversations about the cosmos and its mysteries.

As the last cookie crumbs disappeared from the plates and the sky began to brighten with the sun that appeared over the horizon, Y/N felt a wave of comfort and contentment envelop her body, resting the ceramics on the corner table and moving gently towards Matt, settling on his lap.

The boy opened a big, involuntary smile, automatically wrapping her with his arms and the pink blanket, protecting them from the slight cold of dawn, while she laid her head on his chest, feeling the peaceful rhythm of his heartbeat and serene breathing.

Together, they kept their eyes fixed on the sky that was beginning to take on color, the sound of the first cars on the street, and the laughter of children going to school filling their ears.

Little by little, Y/N began to feel the effects of exhaustion after staying up all night, her body relaxing against Matt's comforting warmth. Sleep came like a gentle wave, enveloping her senses in an embrace.

Her breathing became slow and regular, while her body became limp and light. Her brain shutting down and giving in to deep sleep, to the point where she didn't hear the little whisper of "good night, petal" from her boyfriend, let alone his arms carrying her to her bed, where they finally slept in each other's arms.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

My asks are always open. My requests are closed at the moment since I have many to work in, but you can always send questions or simply talk to me 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @rootbeerworshiper @junnniiieee07 @elliesturniolo1 @sstvrnioloo @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @sturniolho @ksskianshd @ccolleenn @sturniolo-lover1317 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @hrtyjy @ldr-sl0t @breeloveschris @bellasfavbisexual @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @thebottledwatersupplier @bellasfavbisexual @soso-scarlettolivia @maryx2xx @iammattswife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment here)

[cherriesformatt]

dark paradise part 19

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18

summary: when an ordinary girl stumbles into the wrong place at the wrong time, her life can never go back to what it was.

warnings: severe themes throughout this series. mentions of murder and death, kidnapping, guns, read with caution!

｡･ﾟﾟ･

“What?” I asked, my eyes widening as they were glued onto the man in front of me. My heart had practically skipped a beat at his words. I couldn’t decide if he was messing with me or really telling the truth.

Being in foster care my entire life, there was only so much information I had on my birth parents. As much as I searched, begged, and prayed the only answer I was ever met with was that they had both died just after I was born.

Instead of having any information about them I was simply thrown into another family, left in the dark with no answers.

“Don’t tell me you don’t believe me.” He joked, shaking his head slightly as he peered down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. “I mean the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. After all, I saw that mess you left the last time you were here.”

My heart dropped at his words, at the reference he was making to the man I had shot and killed. It wasn’t something that had left my head since it occurred. The constant memory replaying when I closed my eyes, the constant reminder.

“Where do you think you learned that from?” He chuckled, an amusement smile covering his face while he walked around the room. The dark room that looked like a prison.

“It’s in your blood, sweetheart.” He spoke again making my heart feeling sour at the nickname he had just called me. The same name Matt had called me just before I had been taken here.

Matt.

He would find out I was here eventually, and he would come to save me— right?

I didn’t respond to the man in front of me. It felt like my mind was on overload from all of the information I had received.

Matt might’ve been lying to me this entire time, which I didn’t believe. At least I didn’t want to. He had no reason to keep me alive this long if I was just some pawn, some part of a plan.

I trusted Matt more than I cared to admit. It was a strange dynamic. The murderer from the big city and the girl he kidnapped from the south. I put my faith in the fact that Matt was keeping me alive for a good reason, and If not there was nothing I was able to do.

I didn’t have the control I used to, but then again I never really have. All of my decisions were made for me as I grew up. What house I would be in next, what kids I would have to call my siblings now, what name they wanted to call me.

Having free range over any situation had never been possible for me. My life had been controlled up until I moved from South Carolina, and even then that was the life I was already used to.

When they took me from the diner I was horrified. I thought they would kill me or sell me, or any other horrible thing possible for men who had guns pointed toward my temple. But by the time we got to New York everything started to change.

The only thing I had left behind in Georgia was my adoptive parents. The ones that were never there, but had still been willing to take me in. Larry was dead, the diner was getting too expensive to keep in management, and my entire life had the capacity to fit in a single bag.

There was nothing to lose, and there still wasn’t.

“I trust Matt.” I finally spoke up, my eyes meeting his as I tried to hide any sign of the fear inside of my veins. If he was my father I couldn’t look weak. If I wanted to survive I couldn’t look weak.

He raised his eyebrow, confusion now present on his face. What I assumed to be a result of my first reply mentioning Matt instead of the bomb drop that he had been my biological father.

I’d never had a true father figure. I’ve had grown men acting like I was their own, but eventually I was placed with another family, and another, and another. It became to hard to keep forming relationships with people I knew I would leave.

“Over me?” He asked, his walking now paused as he stepped closer toward the chair I was in. My eyes flashed toward the other man in the corner who hadn’t bothered to say another word since I had woken up.

“I don’t know you. How do I even know you’re not just lying to me?” I replied, almost too harsh, but before I realized the words had left my lips. I let in an anxious breath, trying to keep myself from absolutely losing my mind.

“You just do.” He hummed blankly, before turning on his heal. The other man following him through the steel doors leaving me completely alone.

Like always.

-

What felt like hours had passed sitting in the absolute silence. My eyes became heavy and my ears were ringing. I wanted nothing more than to run out of the doors, but I didn’t even know if I had access to open them.

If I could even get out of the restraints.

I pushed my arms up with a grunt, trying my hardest to break through the rope but it was tied too lightly to the back of the chair. The rope intertwined with the material I was sitting on.

After a few moments of useless pulling the door opened behind me. My breath hitched as I quickly turned around.

“Nate?” My eyes widened as I saw the familiar face just above me. His jaw was clenched as he untied the ropes that bound me to the chair I had still been in.

He didn’t respond, instead dropping the harsh material to the floor before pulling me up. My heart raced as he started walking me toward the door he had just came though.

“Nate, what’s going on—” I began to speak before his hand was pressed against my mouth, my back against his chest while his other hand remained against my hip to keep me upright.

“Be quiet.” He spoke harshly, definitely getting his warning across. I nodded. He removed his hand from my mouth, scanning a random fob against the door before it opened.

Outside of the room was another dark hallway, seemingly a common theme of this place was having absolutely not enough light.

No one was in sight from what I could see. My wrists had still been burning from the harsh rope that was rubbing against them.

“Nate, where—” He cut me off again with a sigh, his hand returning back over my skin. “Do I need to fucking gag you?” He whispered harshly as he shook his head, continuing to walk us down the hallway.

His eyes scanned every corner and every hallway before we walked down. He was clearly on edge knowing we could be killed at any moment.

There was still endless possibilities of why I was here. If Charles really was my dad, then why did he wait so long to find me? If he wasn’t, then what did he want from me?

Was Matt actually lying to me?

I shook away the thoughts. I couldn’t be caught off guard, I couldn’t be thinking about something else. I needed to keep myself focused.

“Where do you two think you’re going?” An unfamiliar voice spoke from in front of us. My eyes widened as we stopped directly around the corner. Two men in front of us.

Two guns pointed directly at us.

-

matt pov

“You really don’t trust Nate anymore, hm?” Chris spoke from beside me as we drove down the streets of New York. My attention was now on him as I continued to drive.

It was a confusing subject. I’d known Nate for years. He was practically my brother by this point, but for some reason I just couldn’t figure out why he had been acting so strange.

I didn’t want to lose my trust in him, and I didn’t want to cut him off. In the business that we were in there’s no such thing as losing your job. If you aren’t trust worthy anymore you won’t be fired.

You’ll be dead.

Killing Nate was the last thing I wanted to do, and I knew I was speaking for everyone else in that situation. Apart from the chaos it would bring in throughout other gangs, I didn’t want his blood on my hands forever.

“I didn’t say that.” I replied, my gaze returning to the road in front of me as Nick sighed from the backseat. We were driving back after our mission which consisted of killing two innocent men, but the money paid more than the guilt.

Doing something like this for so long you stopped feeling guilty. You didn’t think about the person or the families. Maybe they had kids, maybe they had jobs. It didn’t matter.

Once you’re in there’s no way out. Your best option is to make it tolerable.

-

“Make sure there’s no blood on your hands before you touch anything.” I spoke with a sigh, sliding my leather jacket from my shoulders as I pushed through the front door. “Dont need another incident.” I scoffed.

Chris chuckled from beside me as he dropped his bag by the door. Nick and Baylen following inside the quiet house.

I sighed, crossing my arms as I looked around. My eyes immediately tracing up the stairs toward her room. The door still propped open from earlier. I didn’t hesitate before walking up the stairs, my expression dropping when I saw the empty room.

“Y/n?” I spoke, furrowing my eyebrows while around. The entire room was empty. I let out a frustrated breath before walking back down the stairs and making my way into the next room.

Absolutely nothing.

My heartbeat picked up as I continued to explore the house, checking every room yet still finding no trace of her. She wouldn’t just leave. I know she wouldn’t.

“Shes gone.” I spoke again anxiously, my gaze peering onto Chris as he stood in front of me with a look of frustration yet concern.

“So is Nate.”

a/n: twas the calm before the storm

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