cherrylips-coldtears

[cherrylips-coldtears]

I wish it wasn’t too late…

I wish I didn’t remember everything about us. Will I ever forget your favorite earrings to wear, the sweater you loved the most, the ice cream you like to eat when we watch movies, the position you like to lay your head on me when we go to bed. I didn’t realize I loved you until you talked about how your coworkers wanted to catch a glimpse of me when I went to give you lunch. I kissed you endlessly after you told me you pretty much tell them and your best friend about me. Those kisses had said those three words that I had never said but always showed. I only realized a month or so later that I actually might have been in love with you and now realizing this how am I supposed to move on. Do I just forget what chapstick was your favorite when you’d kiss me? Can I ever talk to you without looking in your eyes and feeling the memories come back? Do I let you become a faint memory or will there always be love and passion for you in my heart and if so how dangerous is this?

[cherrylips-coldtears]

Here I feel so at home but somehow always lonesome. Nights like these I wish something would happen just for me to not feel like this. Is this deep sadness and resentment what it is like to be human? Constantly in pain and learning from it and adjusting to it? But when do I learn when will I be free… haven’t I felt enough? Why should the only warmth I feel be from the tears tickling my face as they drip down one after another.

[cherrylips-coldtears]

The feeling of being in your arms reminds me of pretending to be asleep as a kid to be carried to bed

[cherrylips-coldtears]

“As June runs into warm July I think of little else but you.”

— Wendy Cope, excerpt of “From June to December” (A Summer Villanelle)

[cherrylips-coldtears]

I adore your eyes because they’re yours and no matter what color they are they always say what they need to in a way your words never could.

[cherrylips-coldtears]

Me and Flagstaff

Look for me in Flagstaff

You might find me in classes

Maybe in my house

My favorite tattoo shop

Wandering downtown

Riding the bus just to pass the time

Walking the streets at night for some air

In the basement of the square

In his bed listening to music and watching movies like it’s the first time

At the grove visiting some friends

The pond behind the middle school

At canes devouring fries and bread

Walking Buffalo park just before sunset

Cruising the isles of target looking at everything from jewelry, clothes, legos, to ice cream

The swings just below Lowell observatory

Walking through the cemetery here and there

Passenger seat in my friends car driving aimlessly

At the maverick gas station admiring stickers

Possibly partying here and there

But you will never find me bored

Flagstaff is where I am happiest and my most authentic self

There can be nothing to replace the feeling this place has given me in my soul

No matter where life may take me Flagstaff is my home of my happiest times

There is so much beauty to this place including the people I’ve met

Promise you’ll never find another place and forget about dear Flagstaff

Flagstaff is the city that loves you as much as you love it

[cherrylips-coldtears]