my journey. healing. taking back my life that was once never mine.
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Tumblr was named as a finalist in Lead411’s New York City Hot 125 in Aug 2010.
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If you feel like falling and you cannot stop it, no matter what you do, that is okay, my love. Sometimes the sadness arrives even though there might not be an obvious reason. It is okay to let it in, to embrace it. You do not have to hide it just because you think that you should be happy and therefore should not feel this way. You are allowed to feel. It does not make you ungrateful. It does not make you a bad person. Sometimes waves of emotions hit you as a way of signalling you that a particular area of your life needs attention. And you are allowed to tend to whatever this may be. Do not ignore those feelings. Do not pretend to be fine. I know you may feel like a hopeless case that craves too much attention, is worthless and is viewed as too broken. I know you may think that there are so many better people out there. But this is absolutely not true. Everyone feels this way from time to time. It does not make you any less of a good-hearted, beautiful person. You are worthy, amazing and strong and those sad days do not and will not take away your value. You mattered then, you matter now and you will always matter - especially on those dark days.
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The most important part of design?.. .Is finding all the issues to be solved ; the rest are details...A small 900sqft apartment beautifully designed by @edifico_interiors 👌
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late-night chores
instagram | twitter | shop | commission info
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today you asked me
today you asked me what my major/course of study was. i was nervous. i was scared. i was embarrassed. about what? about telling my own mother that i had changed my mind? exactly. from this reaction, one can tell that my mother is not a warm and open parent. it has always been this way.
secrets. hiding. sneaking. closeted. just a few words to describe my past and current relationship with her. it is difficult to express any thoughts, feelings, and emotions that did not line up with hers.
today i told you that i changed my course of study. i am not going to be the nurse that you hoped i’d be. i know deep down you wanted me to be one because you weren’t able to be one. additionally, being a nurse or a medical professional in the filipino culture is highly respected. i believe i have around 10+ medical professionals in my family. however, i am not going to fit some mold and pursue the nursing field for you to show me off. also, i am not going to be a nurse to take care of you when you are older. no just NO!
maybe it’s because i did not want to become anything you wanted me to be or become anything like you. from the outside looking in, people see you as the kind-hearted CNA. you would tell people all the time that i was working my way to get admitted to nursing school. they say it would only make sense if i followed my mother’s footsteps in healthcare.
you know, maybe i would’ve been a great nurse. i am empathetic and compassionate. sadly, you ruined it for me - whether i wanted to be one or not. you tore me down. i felt disposable. you made it known that i was difficult to love and was not deserving of any affection and attention. i can’t be a nurse even if i wanted to be one because of many reasons. i severely lack in confidence. i cannot communicate effectively without doubting myself. i am unable to get a grip of my emotions. i have trouble paying attention to detail because i cannot concentrate. in fact, these are essential skills one must have to be successful in any industry.
the good news is that through years of intense therapy, i can work through the hurt. the bad news is that “out of sight” doesn’t necessarily mean “out of mind.” you’re on my mind every single waking moment of my life. it feels as if your words and actions have been ingrained into my brain. on repeat. over. and over. it’s torture.
but now it’s your turn. it’s your turn to suffer. i am 2,017 miles away from you. you have no control over me. whether it’s my major, my hair, my face, my clothes, what fast food restaurant i’m going to, or just going to a friend’s house. from now on i have to slowly learn to love myself from the beginning. and once i am able to do that i will be able to accomplish many things. the accomplishments that are yet to come i’d have to thank myself, god, and my incredible boyfriend for. you will be deprived of anything monumental in my life. you won’t be attending my college graduation, see my dog, meet my partner or child and etc.
going forward, my focus will be on me. just me.
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36 Glam Mirrors Sorted by Style that You Must See https://curatedinterior.com/glam-mirrors/
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Life is going to throw you curve ball after curve ball. Prepare yourself to be flexible and to adapt. What you planned for yourself might not work out the way you thought. And that’s not always a bad thing.
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The beauty of the Earth. Thank you universe.
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Get one of these products or dozens more at my RedBubble shop!
Many more patterns and flags are currently available, and I will add any missing flags upon request.
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