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YouTube ads: (30 seconds of irrelevant wackiness) Oh hohohoho the creature wants the Food!

Facebook ads: (fabricated sponsored "news" article) Here is why, everyone is buying the new thing. Trust us everyone is buying it

TikTok ads: (paid actor) I just bought this thing and it totally changed my life! Join me on my Journey, with Product...

Tumblr ads: (ai generated image of heaven) The Truth About Your Elbows

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Hack for if you're struggling with ADHD paralysis and you can't get started on a task:

Step 1: Add some silly rule to the task to make it more interesting and whimsical.

Step 2: Pretend Sam Reich just told you to do it.

Here are a few examples that have worked for me recently.

(Bonus points if you can hear the setup in your head. "Alright, players, for your next challenge" 🎶ding🎶)

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screaming

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this this this

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minecraft monsters are so fucking funny weve got

zombies which look like the default player character. this has no lore implicatjons

skeletons. inexplicably they carry bows.

spiders that are two metres wide and hiss like snakes (imagine how fucking terrifying this would be in real life)

walking bush that wants nothing more than to explode while standin next to you. also theyre afraid of cats

three metre tall guy with social anxiety so bad they try to kill you if you look at them. also they can teleport

really sad ghost

zombies 2: underwater edition

spiders again but now they poison you

fish that kills you with a mind beam

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I love corporate memphis art ❤️❤️

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We are so excited to share that the books have arrived to our shipping mod's place! With that, our shipping mod will begin to pack orders.

The final call for address changes are due June 18th. You can email us with your order number and new address. Thank you all so much!

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It could be worse. You could be wearing a bra right now.

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'I asked chat GPT-'

oh did you? You asked something that steals shit to lie to you about a subject? And you just tell me this like I care to know what it said? Like I wanted to know its opinion? I regularly ask my cat Cheesey Gordita Crunch about many subjects and I think I trust his judgement more than whatever bullshit ur shitty algorithm spat out

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I love when you’re reading multiple fics by the same author and you start to spot all the phrases and adjectives they like to use

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was that the bite of ‘87???

cross stitch of markiplier and fnaf by me!!

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And after a while you just stop. You stop watering your plants. You stop watching netflix. You stop reading. You stop replying to your friends as fast as you used to. You stop buying yourself nice things. You stop putting an effort into how you look. You stop taking care of yourself like you used to. You stop sleeping. You stop eating healthy foods. You stop petting your dog. You stop socializing.

You stop with everything. You find yourself sitting in your room for hours on end, without doing a single thing. Days feel like years. And you think you can’t do it for much longer.

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wake up. its me. markiplier. you werent in a coma or anything i just got really excited to seeyou.I’m markiplier