fvmiko

[fvmiko]

25-8-2014

Attack me when you feel I'm at my lowest, make me feel worse than I already did before. It all means nothing at this point, I'll get over it, I'll remember your words and carry them to my grave. I'll get my revenge, when you have no feet left to stand on, when you consider me your friend away, when you need me, to help you survive, I'll give you all that you gave me. I'll break your legs twice, I'll stomp on your heart. It all means nothing to me. I've wavered, yes, my heart was shortly intoxicated by your kind words, but it's sobered up. I don't need your kindness anymore, I don't need your company anymore. I need nothing of you, or anyone else. I once considered you my friend, I once opened up to you, but you threw dirt in my face, and blinded me, and I allowed you. But not anymore. I'll put up with your words, your actions, let you fall for it, I'll let you believe I'm all under your spell, but the moment, you need something or someone, I'll be there, to dig you a grave, one deeper than the one you dug for yourself. I'll be there, to break all that was left unbroken, I'll be there to make everything twice as bad. To kill you without even hesitating.

Don't underestimate me though. Once that's all over, I will also be the one putting flower down on top of your grave, telling you how much  I loved you. Because I once did, but you took advantage of me. You hurt me. I'll kill you, and I'll grieve, like never before. 

[fvmiko]

"Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll choke you with the same hand I fed you with."

[fvmiko]

operasono said: 

I suppose if it gets worse, then maybe putting him to sleep is the only option. It’s sad to hear, though. And that they can’t do more.

Well, I guess it happens. Maybe I wasn't supposed to have an animal or something like that, sad as it is, I can't help but feel like it was some sort of karma for whatever reason. I already made an appointment, if it doesn't get better I'll have to put him to sleep that day. 

[fvmiko]

operasono said: 

What’s up with him? Maybe they can give him surgery and it’ll be okay. He seemed healthy the last time I swung by.

I wonder, they say it's something that has to do with just bad genes. They can't really find anything in particular, he just keeps getting strokes, and then he makes a lot of sound, like crying, and it's incredibly sad, they gave him some antibiotics but if that doesn't work they'll have to put him to sleep. He seemed okay, occasionally he'd have like a small stroke from time to time, I thought he was just sick, but then it got worse and yeah.

[fvmiko]

Fumi. @fumikohshi • 29s (via twitlonger)

On a sad note, something's wrong with Harubei. I've visited the vet, and they said it was something related to bad genes. The little one has been making high pitched sounds for the past few days, I tried feeding, giving a sandbath more often. Then last night, the poor thing seemed to have a stroke of some sort. If it continues, I'd have to go back, and Harubei would be put to sleep, since there's only pain at this point? Wouldn't even reach the age of one if that were the case. It's upsetting, honestly. Didn't know I'd be upset over something like this so much. 

pic.twitter.com/16WgEAE30h

[fvmiko]

udon--luna:

That’s great. Thank you for suggesting me this store. [’ her head lowered forward for only a few centimeters in a polite bow as the corners of her full lips switched up in a light smile. Luna couldn’t recall the last time she went shopping on her own and she had also been saving money for her trip to Disneyland. It turned out so that the actual amount of money for the trip itself wasn’t as large as she thought but staying at certain hotels in Disneyland cost much more’] Why? I have a easy answer to your question. It’s because I love Frozen which happens to be coming from my favourite motion picture studio, Disney. It’s also a way to remember someone that meant and still means so much to me. You can always add anything you desire to the bracelet but please add a tiny snowman. [’ as she stated, it was one simple reason why she wished for the bracelet to contain a snowman. Or to be exact, two simple reasons. She scrolled through numerous sites to be able to find a bracelet with the following figurine but luck hasn’t been on her side’] I’ll pay you up front if you would like and besides, I won’t be going to every ride in Disneyland because I’m scared of heights. [’ her upper teeth popped out as she flashed her well known and signature smile’] 

No problem at all, I've liked this place for a long time, so it'd be great to see them doing well too, since I enjoy coming there often. (`she wasn't sure what was going on, she usually wasn't one to speak so nicely to others, to offer things without expecting anything in return, to actually give out tips for the benefits of others, perhaps it was the loneliness she'd been feeling, craving for some attention for quite a while, or she was just in an exceptionally weird mood, assuming it was the last option, she shrugged it off) Snowman, I should be able to make something like that. Any other preferences, for color perhaps? (`her current questions, however weren't for the sake of being nice, it was her job, those questions were required if she were to make something for the other female- handmake and to her preference, it was her job, what she was supposed to do) Icy blue, or perhaps white instead? Beige? To break the cold-ness of the appearance, or black, to make it look stronger, more apparent when you're wearing it. Or any other color that has a meaning to add for you? 

[fvmiko]

I hope you know that no one will love you like I did. That’s not bitter, or resentful, it’s just the truth. I hope she kisses your freckles. I hope she looks after you in the dark. Nurtures and adores the angry and the fight of you. I hope she marvels at the ugly beauty of your nose. That she touches your skin with all the wonder of a child seeing their first firework show. That she’s good to you . Doesn’t get too angry when you don’t talk to her for a few days. Waits patiently for you to come back and love her again. Faithful, just like you need. But know, it won’t be the same. It won’t even come close to the thunderstorms that were moving beneath my skin from what I felt for you. I would have loved you. I would have kept stoking that fire until I was shaking and smouldering with it. Until every word I hiccuped began to sound like ‘come closer.’ I would have loved you till there was nothing left. Until we were both empty and full from the storm of it. That doesn’t happen often, not everyone can wring themselves out so completely and still be spilling over. So I hope she loves you, I really do. But I also hope that you know it’s not the same. I hope you realise what you lost and somewhen, 40 years from now, that realisation shakes you to the bone.

Azra.T “Wait, they don’t love you like I do.”  (via 5000letters)

[fvmiko]

23-8-2014

I can remember waking up that day, when was it? A month ago? Looking around and realizing I was actually surrounded by people, a hand ful, people I had tried to push away because I was convinced-- I didn't need anyone. But they were still there, and this hidden feeling, the thought in the back of my mind, hidden away so deeply, it said, I actually liked it. I liked waking up, having the little arguments with people, because I knew, they were pointless, they didn't mean anything, and the fact that they were there to argue with me every single day, meant they cared enough to stay, despite that. Looking back at it now, I felt, maybe not happy, but content enough to say I could've smiled. But now, a month later, it's all gone. I wake up, there's a silence, I stare at my phone, it's empty, my ears don't get filled with the constant complaining anymore, the tone of my phone telling me I have a message from one of those people. Some I don't considered friends then, but now looking at it, they were. Were being the keypoint here. I wonder, have they forgotten about me? Was I not good enough? Are they busy? Do they not want to follow they promises anymore? 

The unfortunate thing is, I've seen it, I've seen some of them. Some of them who I thought were busy, too busy to send a mere text, so I wasn't angry, I waited. But then I saw them, with other's, spending time, and I wonder. Wasn't I worth some of your time? Maybe a minute? To tell me you're doing good, to tell me you miss me, or perhaps to tell me something you dislike about me, the mere effort, compliment or not. Even sending me an insult tells me I'm still worth your time. But I'm not. I've become nothing but air, and I'm back to being alone.

Now I realize my mistake, I realize what I have done wrong. Letting all these people in, unconsciously, but it happened. Somewhere in these days, the days of arguments, the days filled with anger, the distance between me and these people decreased, but afterwards. They turned their backs, not looking at me while I had, foolishly, kept my eyes fixed on their back, waiting for them to turn back around. They never did. So I should go back, perhaps find a way to make my sight worse. To the point I won't be able to distinguish the difference between their chests and their back. It would spare me a lot of hardships, chest tightening anxiety,  minutes of waiting and waiting, days of not being able to sleep and endless thoughts of not being good enough. 

How could I have been so careless? After all, I'm merely the shadow left behind by other people, to replace their missing existence, someway relating to the actual person. Much like the missing person, I'm shaped the same way, but I'll never be enough. I'll be just their shadow, and once the night comes, I won't be visible anymore. Gone without a word. 

[fvmiko]

udon--luna:

[’ Luna nodded along as the female spoke as it was a simple sign that she was surely paying attention. She was no millionaire, her pastry wasn’t providing her a large amount of money with which she could buy a simple sofa for her living room. However, she had to snatch this opportunity and purchase at least two alike sofas, if nothing else’] Really? Ah, thank you very much lovely. Have you ever bought anything from them? Also, could you tell me the address so I can head there sometime soon? I have to make sure my house is prepared for a complete renovation. It all sounds like a dream and I bet they have tons of customers just running up to their door and I also bet they are popular. [’ she flashed a wide smile, giving her head a few shakes’] No no, I wish to pay you and you add as much of your touch as you wish. I just wish for it to have a tiny snowman charm and a snowflake as well, if that’s alright? You add anything you wish and I’ll be glad to pay for your service. 

(`As well as the other female, she didn't necessarily make anough money, and whenever she earned a bit more than normal, she'd usually spend the money on the actual things that were needed, along with clothes as fashion was no matter what-- something she was definitely interested in, hence her spending quite some time on the internet, browsing whatever cheap sites there were that'd sell nice pieces. To her, it wasn't really about the brands, she'd rather spent her money on brandless clothes, that'd cost less than things she'd pay a fortune for simply for the name of the store.) I've bought quite a lot of things from that place, and I'm sure theyll have folders or things like those you can bring with you that'll have the name, site and address on it. (`she explained and hummed) Snowman? Why's that?

[fvmiko]

Red,Blue,Rose,Purple,Plum,Violet

Red

I love you.

Blue

You’re amazing.

Rose 

You’re pretty

Purple 

You’re hot.

Plum 

I would fuck you.

Violet

I would date you.

All the same for you, beautiful.

[fvmiko]

orange.

Orange 

I want to get to know you.

Despite the constant visits to Korea, the culture had always been something she would need to get used to, as she spent most or her life in Japan, the differences between the two were huge considering the small distance between both countries. As far as the language, she was able to communicate well enough, her pronounciating was definitely something she had to work on yet as it currently was, she had no problem coming around. Her surroundings however, weren't too familiar to her. Hence why she'd been walking in circles for at least the past half an hour, if not longer. She could've sworn that certain tree she passed by, she had seen at least seven times before. Deciding to stop the endless circle, her eyes wandered around and her gaze came to rest on a rather tall female not too far away from her. Despite the different surroundings, she still didn't bother to use the set of good manners she was aware of. 'Hey you.' Was thereby the way she approached the female.

[fvmiko]

Color My Inbox

Deep Red - I’m in love with you. Red - I love you. Pink - I think you’re cute. Blue - You’re amazing. Rose - You’re pretty Purple - You’re hot. Plum - I would fuck you. Violet - I would date you. Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours. Lavender - You are my tumblr crush. Orange - I want to get to know you. Tangerine - We have a lot in common. Amber - I wish you would notice me. Cream - I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.

[fvmiko]

Fumi. @fumikohshi • 1s

I've gone from talking to multiple people a day, to talking to no one at all. Whatever, I don't care. I shouldn't expect them to message me anyway. 

[fvmiko]

meixvn:

Kim Yoobin. Mei could only stare at the name in disbelief. This was some sick joke, her intern had to be messing with her. But Mei knew just as well as the pale woman across from her that this wasn’t a mistake, it wasn’t a joke: Yoobin sent the picture of Yuri’s naked body to Fumi. In her mind she rationalized why the name printed on the cell phone tracker report was her ex-girlfriend’s: someone else took the picture, someone stole Yoobin’s phone, someone was blackmailing her. She tried laughing it off, looking amused over at Fumi and made some pitiful excuse about how the intern got it wrong again before falling silent. But Fumi knew she knew better, they both knew better; their girlfriends cheated on them with each other.  The other only hugged her and pressed a light kiss to her cheek in apology and Mei could only focus on the irony of the situation; not one month ago this same woman strangled her in a public grocery store for stealing Yuri away. Yet here they were hugging and Fumi comforted Mei instead of the other way around. Mei started blocking the pain away out of habit, steeling herself from the tears she wanted to shed and felt the all-too familiar need to escape and run away rising up. “I should go.”

The situation seemed surreal, yet she didn't know what she had expected, who else did she know, would purposely hurt her by sending this particular picture, of course she'd had never expected it to be done by Yoobin, yet after rethinking this option-- which now wasn't just an option but the harsh truth, she knew it was very likely. They were all aware of each other's existence, and met rather often. A silence had filled the air the moment the other took a look at the name written on the paper, and as seconds passed, it started making more sense to her, she started realizing how it had been so easy for them to meet up, had it been going on even before the incident with the picture. It'd been all too easy, to deceive not only Miko but Mei too. under the claim of being friends, they'd be able to meet up without suspicions, they were both in relationships, so they wouldn't think of such a thing, right? --Wrong.

She wasn't one to be comforting other people but she knew the pain Mei must've been feeling at that moment, having experienced the same thing. Her eyes were fixed on the woman's face and before she was even aware of it, she had approached the other and had tugged her into a gentle hug. In any other situation, she would have let Mei go, but instead she kept a firm hold on the other's wrist, to prevent her from leaving. 'Don't. Not yet.' she told her, it probably wouldnt be a good thing to leave the other alone.

Even Roses Have Thorns

[fvmiko]

kcsxn:

[ `KC couldn’t help but to smile to herself, seeing how the other female returned a smile. She seemed so happy and it was a good feeling, a good sight for her to see about the female; Miko, you look really pretty when you smile. [ `it was true and she wanted the older female to know that, but was it okay for her to wear a bikini since her baby bump was now visible and small? She pursed her lips in thought, her hand resting on her stomach; 

(`Surely, she hadn't expected the sudden compliment although from time to time she did receive compliments on her appearance, not so much on her smile, thus she liked it-- yet only gave a small nod in return, still unaware of how to cope with these compliments she got. Noticing the small action of the other's hand, she cocked her head to the side but didn't comment on it and simply kept walking) 

[fvmiko]

I'm glad to see you're back evne if only a little

I've always been here, just not too actively. 

[fvmiko]

udon--luna:

[‘she absorbed every piece of information which the female had provided for her; able to even picture this unknown shop and she’ll come by sometime soon and give it a chance. A particular word made her twitched a little, her brows raising up in bewilderment’] Nothing? They sell it for free? Just give it away like that? I knew that saving money would come in handy soon enough and it surely will, as now I know of this shop you speak of. [‘she quickly changed direction, moving along with the female’] Really? Thank you lovely. [‘she flashed a wide smile and entirely grateful to the female for accepting her request - even if she were to blur out numerous kind of details, she couldn’t easily think of some’] How about I give it a thought or two and I’ll let you know when I exactly am aware of what I want. Is that alright? I never had a friend who was good at making jewelry and don’t worry, I won’t be using you as ‘the goods’ deliverer source. [‘she shook her head promptly, corners of her lips reaching up to form a gentle smile’] But maybe only this time I’ll order something and tell my other friends about your work so they can order a piece too. They’ll pay for it as well and I’m no exception.

Well of course not for free, but the amount of money they ask could be considered nothing. For the quality you get, you'd expect the furniture to be cheap looking or anything like yet, but it's all of pretty high quality at a cheap price. (`she explained, it was a place she was familiar with, visiting it rather often herself, to decorate her room.) It's a good place, the people working there are very helpful and if there's something in particular you're searching for, you can write it down for them, they'll search for multiple things that are the same or at least look alike, give you the options and if you're pleased with one of those options, they'll order it, so you can come here after a few days to pick it up and pay for it. (`she explained and turned her head to look over to the other) Take your time, draw it out if needed, I'll probably still give my touch to it, because I can't help but do that. There's no need to do that dear, but this piece will be on me, no need to pay me.