chiimeramanticore

[chiimeramanticore]

Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:

I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:

I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.

I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.

Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.

It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.

I don’t eat dinner.

The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.

[chiimeramanticore]

anyway in the hopes that i can save just one person from living the horror of my 20s: if you have a friend that seems a little too invested in callouts i hope you can get out of there safely

[chiimeramanticore]

everyone knows that space is very very cold, and the sun is very very hot. so i assume there's a bit of space kind of near the sun which is just right. balmy space

[chiimeramanticore]

[chiimeramanticore]

(gets into a coma) (wakes up) (tearful loved ones embrace me and we hold each other laughing) (fifteen minutes pass) (start scrolling on my phone)

[chiimeramanticore]

I live in complete poverty and disability. Trying to make art to sell as prints as I am not getting commissions the way I used to. I am disabled and diabetic, immunocompromised from recent surgery, and I live in a traditional filipino house partially destroyed by storms and termites. I work 3 jobs, but they are all very unstable. Please please please, if you've ever derived joy from my art or insight from my posts or book recs, if you could pick up a print, send a tip, or subscribe to my patreon where I have 400+ exclusive drawings / early access, it would help keep me alive, in the most literal sense. I have been given a second chance at life, and I would like to keep living. Thank you so much

Inprnt / patreon / ko-fi tipping jar / paypaI tipping jar

[chiimeramanticore]

People are so afraid to hear this

[chiimeramanticore]

maybe a weird question but is your username based off of spg? i noticed one of your af characters looks a lot like the band's robot designs and i was listening to mecto amore the other night and realized they say chimera and manticore like two words apart in the intro segment

it is! I wanted to be chimeramachinations but it was taken lol. spg is one of my oldest interests! it's been an age since I interacted w the fandom or anything tho. jax (the artfight character I assume ur referring to) was originally a fanbot! she was one of my first ocs and I got so carried away making other robot characters that I decided to just (very loosely lol) make them their own thing separate to the spg world. in my mind they're still kinda in the same universe but my story is just going on somewhere else simultaneously lmao

[chiimeramanticore]

Introducing my bf to RAE via your video I'm so giddy.... it's beautiful and i rewatch it all the time it's sogood for my brain.

WOO YEAH I love that ppl are still getting shown this video it gives me strength

[chiimeramanticore]

what i like about airports is that once youre in there theres no going back. I mean youre there until they let you out

[chiimeramanticore]

you know his distant ass is saying gleebledeflorp

[chiimeramanticore]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[chiimeramanticore]

Went to the Aboriginal artifact exhibit in Chicago. And it’s interesting. How many blankets and masks and totem poles say ‘unknown source’, because every five seconds my mom would stop and point to something and say. “Pauline’s grandmother made that,” or, “That belongs to Mike’s family, I should call him” because. It’s all stolen

[chiimeramanticore]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[chiimeramanticore]

I don't think men saying out of pocket shit to me on the internet is because they're men. everyday billions of men wake up and don't say out of pocket shit to me on the internet. this is clearly an active choice

[chiimeramanticore]

I’m gonna be honest it could be any of these at any time.