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My karmic lover pt. 2

After I told him my situation ship was over he was silent, with that sweet trying not to blush smile on his face. I changed the subject to make him ease up a little bit and laugh. A few days later when he was walking me to one of my classes I was getting impatient waiting for him to ask me for my number, so I went for it and asked. He smiled and agreed and we exchanged them. We texted later that day when I was home and I immediately loved speaking to him, we found out a lot about each other, and I really liked what I was seeing in him. We soon started holding hands, but I told him I didn’t want a relationship just yet. I was scared because I really liked him and the reason I hurt guys and decided not to get attached was to preserve my own feelings. So I was leading him on, I wanted to kiss him a few times, but when I asked him to kiss me he’d get nervous because he had never kissed anyone before. He always told me to tell him when I was ready for a relationship and I really wanted it, but played it off as if I was just chillin. After about a week or two of just holding hands, I asked him to kiss me again. He was nervous but he did it, wasn’t the best but I was fine with it. When I felt his lips on mine I got that tingling sensation, I had butterflies and I was blushing. It’s not like this was my first kiss, but I was very attracted to him looks wise and personality. He was perfect. And I knew I had to make him mine. After that class and after he kissed me before that class we did our normal routine, holding hands walking through the hallway and that’s when I told him “I think I’m ready” Kay asked me to be his girlfriend right then and there and I was overwhelming happy with so much emotion and said yes to him. He was mine now. Soon after that we were together every time we could be at school. I still remember the first time he’d put his hand on my thigh, we were at a pep rally and I was talking to him about something, he put his hand on my thigh and stopped talking completely mid sentence and blushed really hard. It was amazing. After being all lovey, hugging and kissing, sitting next to each other in the class we had together. Things started to get more sexual, which I was fine with but is just took me by surprise since I was his first everything already. His first kiss, first girl to hold his hand, first girlfriend. I liked him a lot, soon before we became a thing though, he let me know something about him that I didn’t think would become a huge issue for me or us in our relationship. Through texting he told me that he had a lot of mental illness. I don’t remember most of them because it was a lot, but the ones he deals with more heavily are bpd and multiple personality disorder. I was never one to judge and I still excepted him for who he was. He was medicated for it and I didn’t see a problem so I went with it. Until I majorly fucked up, remember how I said I’d use guys and hurt them? Well I was scared because I knew I had feelings for him, a lot. So I did what any other sane person would do. One night while my dad and step mom were gone me and my sister got really fucked up, drinking hard shit and smoking a lot and I was really crossed. And ended up getting majorly horny, I tried to call Kay but he didn’t answer. So I’m my mind I thought fuck it, let’s just play him out. So that’s what I did, I called our mutual friend deni, asking to fuck🤦🏼‍♀️ stupid of me I know. And the next morning, since I was so fucked up I almost had no recollection of the night before until my sister had told me what happened. I called deni crying begging him not to tell Kay, mistake number one. And he promised he wouldn’t but I still felt really guilty as I really loved Kay at this point. Well the next day at school I got a text from Kay and he was pissed, saying he knew everything now and that I needed to fess up to it. My stomach dropped and I felt uneasy, trying to hold back tears in class while I was having a full blown panic attack. I tired to talk to him after class but he wasn’t really thrilled about it, saying I was on a time

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My karmic lover pt. 1

I met him in sophomore year. Finally after a few months, came to find my self worth and became happy and comfortable with myself and fine with being single. After my previous on and off four year relationship with my ex, I was finally happy with myself. We had the same second period, me and this new boy. I had seen him around school before in the previous years, he never left a good impression on me until the first day I saw him starting my second year of high school. I walked in our class late and sat down with the only other guy I actually know in that class, he was always a good guy but didn’t have very many friends. He was very straight forward and let his personality beam, he never cared what people thought about him and never let people get him down with rude comments. That’s what I liked about him, another reason I sat next to him was because he was smart, and in the previous years he’d help me out with school work. Kay was the guy that had never left good impression on me, in fact he was kind of mean, but I could tell it was because he was hurt. He sat at the table next to me and my smart friend celed. I noticed something had changed in him, like over the summer Kay became more sure of himself. He was talking to his friend and one of my other friends deni. I could tell they were really good friends because they were laughing together and seeming to have a really good time. After a few weeks of only really talking to celeb and sometimes deni for a bit, I would notice Kay looking at me a lot, as if he wanted to say something. It was kind of cute, because it didn’t take him long to try and spark up conversation with me. He made me a little nervous, which is something I wasn’t used to as I was usually the one to make other guys nervous. He was around 4-5 inches taller than me, he had one of those cute sincere smiles you’d see on a kid when they are seeing there Christmas presents for the first time. He was light skin, beautiful doll like eyes, and curly hair that was kind of a fro but not too big. He was handsome to me, and his confidence made it all that much better. Over time he didn’t want to talk to me directly, which I was fine with because even though I was a person that was very sure of myself I felt like anything I would say I would make things awkward. He would use celeb as a way to talk to me, he didn’t know him very well but he know that me and him were friends. He would try make me laugh by joking with celeb and messing with him, not in a mean way of course. Celeb would say shit back to him as well but in more of a friendly way, you know how guys play. Soon after that me and him started talking a bit. Our next class was right next to each other, so soon he started walking me there. He asked me one day on our walk to class if I was talking to anyone. I was. But I wasn’t really serious with this guy, I was actually in a place again where I’d mess around with guy’s feelings or wouldn’t get very serious with them. The guy I was talking to was kind of a friends with benefits type thing, we’d make out during class in the hallway and stuff but we never slept together because well, I was a virgin, and always wanted to save it for someone special. I told Kay I was pretty much in a situation ship. As we were approaching our classes that were across from each other he said to me “well you just let me know if you and that guy don’t work out” when he said that it gave me butterflies, I grinned and blushed as I walked to my class. One thing I liked about Kay, he was a gentleman, he always let me walk in front of him, and always told me “have a good class” simple I know, but I’d never met a guy be such a gentleman to me. Soon he started walking me to three other periods after my second, then four, and we started to form a bond. He was the first guy I’d feel head over heels for in a while, and I was a sucker for a guy like his personality, and someone that had such a goofy sense of humor like mine. Not too long after I cut off the guy I had a situation ship with, and ended up telling Kay about it.

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