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Every time someone says "we need a new political party in America to represent all the people in the center!" I am reminded of the Dutch Centre Party aka the owners of one of the funniest opening lines of a wiki article:

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Trying to take care of yourself when you're sick is so annoying. Like you know you should probably eat something and you're trying to question yourself on what you'd want to eat, and the only answer is your inner voice of dying Jane Austen going "I desire nothing but death". well ok you dramatic sickly bitch do you want that with garlic or hot sauce.

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i know her heart was in the right place but my mom wrote this in the funniest way possible

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Some tumblr conversations are fascinating because they really are like

"My job gave us these expensive trinkets that nobody wanted. All of us wish that they would've given us the money instead."

"I don't get it?? did you want some different trinket?"

"I think it was explicitly clear in the OP that they would have wanted the money that the company spent on the trinkets, not a trinket."

"But why? :0"

"Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

"Waow I didn't know that!! :0 reblogging to raise awareness!"

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pacific rim fucks severely for a lot of reasons but my favorite is that it opens with "the lizard aliens are unionizing so we built robots running on the power of love to fight them you got all that right" and before you have time to really process that concept bam gunshot body on the floor and the movie goes "now consider the vast power of grief in this setup" it never really stops considering

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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Jonouchi lloks like he tried to confess to Yuugi but then got cold feet

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met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

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long term goals and ambitions: not waking up tired